Sexpert Q&A: Encouraging Her Inner-Nympho

Dear Dr. Yvonne, My wife and I are both healthy, in good shape, and in our mid-40s. We celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary today. For the past three years, we have had sex less than once per week (on average), sometimes less than once per two weeks. How can I get her to just "attack" me sometimes? Francois

Dear Francois, Almost every partner in a long-term relationship reaches the quandary of_ 'How do I get the sex I want? How can both my partner and I revive our passion for each other once again?' First and foremost, know that it requires a lot of work - much more than a blog Q&A response can tackle. There are a plethora of great books packed with advice on this very matter, but among their major tidbits are:

  • Communicate. Both of you need to talk about the state of your sex life and how it can be improved. Discuss your needs, wants, and fears. Really listen to each other and be a participant for active change. Get ravenous with your wife on occasion and see how she reacts.
  • Add an element of risk to your relationship. Anything that involves "danger" is exciting, and that doesn't have to mean jump out of an airplane together. Rather push your erotic boundaries. Be spontaneous. Create anticipation with sexy emails and calls. Ask your partner to mirror you in your efforts. Date each other with desire - allow yourself to get into that mindset once again.
  • Have sexual empathy for one another. Share your fantasies, including that you want her to "just attack you." The more you reveal, the sexier you can potentially become.

Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of

Sexuality Source Inc.

She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."