Whoever thought the day would come when Prince Harry would make headlines not because he drunkenly danced on stage at Davos or played strip poker with Boris Johnson, but because of his love for (I’m guessing) vitamin B12?
But here we are in 2019, a year when a tangerine real estate developer is the leader of the free world and Prince Harry is happily starting his day with a kale smoothie.
According to Vanity Fair’s royal reporter Katie Nicholl, the 34-year-old father-to-be is now very much into not only supplements and green juices but also meditation and yoga.
“We never thought Harry would be raving about yoga, but he loves it,” a friend of Harry’s said.
“He looks great, he’s lost weight, he’s super healthy, and I think he’s really happy, although I’m sure he does miss going out with some of his old mates for the occasional pint.”
Let’s just pause for a second because this is Harry we are talking about, the Party Prince who carved a well-worn path to every Mayfair and Chelsea nightclub for nearly 15 years in between boozily partying everywhere from the Arctic Circle to Sydney pubs.
This was the Prince who was caught smoking marijuana as a teenager and ran “Club H," replete with a well-stocked bar, out of the basement of Prince Charles’ Highgrove house.
This was the same Prince who whipped off his kit during a Las Vegas jaunt for a quick round of nude pool.
The same man who celebrated completing a trek to the North Pole by drinking champagne out of a prosthetic leg during a two-day bender involving actor Dominic West, some Icelandic truck drivers and homemade hooch. The royal also reportedly told “eye-wateringly rude” jokes, according to "The Wire" star. Saucy!
If anyone needs a reminder of how much damn fun Hazza was during his freewheeling years, I present to you this video of him dancing to Michael Jackson while on holiday in Croatia. I’ll wait. It will make your day.
If you need more proof of his enduring commitment to permanently having a good time, this is a clip of him drunkenly falling into a swimming pool on the Gold Coast while dancing.
But, alas, no more. Vale the Party Prince and arise the Duke of Downward Dog.
Since becoming a married man, the sixth in line to the throne has traded in his world-class standard of merrymaking for cooking baked dinners (see the engagement chicken), practicing yoga and debating the benefits of vegan paint.
In what might be one of the most shocking things to happen to the royal family since King Edward abdicated, the Prince who single-handedly propped up the British beer industry is now teetotal, having stopped drinking out of sympathy with his pregnant wife Meghan Markle.
But wait, there’s more.
He has also quit the ciggies, wears a fitness tracker to count his steps, goes to the gym and is eschewing coffee in the name of health. He even starts his day with a green juice. How very Gwyneth Paltrow of him.
Harry’s health kick is something no one saw coming.
Now, it’s not necessarily a bad thing he has cleaned up his act.
After all, one does get to an age where boozily falling off walls starts to look a bit sad. (Or so I am reliably told.)
However, I am not entirely sure it is all good news.
Who hasn’t watched a friend totally shed any vestige of their former life when they start seeing someone new? Who suddenly decides that they too love Formula One, gluten-free cooking and the novels of Stephenie Meyer?
Everyone knows that relationship doesn’t end well (and leaves you with a surfeit of "Twilight" paperbacks and useless knowledge about starting grids).
So, let’s assume Prince Harry is an avid reader of news.com.au and therefore might come across what I am about to say: Meet in the middle. Start the day with meditation but then kick back with a nice Merlot at night.
It is fine to farewell your drunken club shenanigans but at least keeps busting a move in the living room on a Friday night when Meghan finds a great Spotify playlist and you’ve just had your third G & T.
Sure, say goodbye to the Party Prince but never let go of the permanently fun-loving Duke of Daggy Dancing.
We heart him big time.