Weed Yes, Cigarettes No

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 4, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Welcome back to "the fab four" plus me.

I have a feeling we're going to see more medical marijuana smokers popping up or smoking up in one California town. City officials in Sebastopol -- my California pal here told me how to pronounce that -- have approved an amendment that prevents medical marijuana smokers from a smoking ban, but get this -- in case you're wondering -- you're not allowed to smoke cigarettes.

What's going on in your favorite state?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: One is supposed to save you, one is supposed to kill you. I mean, yes, what do you want me to tell you? California is out of control.

WILLIAMS: But you're saying marijuana save you.

GUILFOYLE: Save you, according to --

WILLIAMS: But tobacco is not.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, the medicinal marijuana supporters, they are saying it has a lot of health benefits. People use it when given a cancer diagnosis. That's the reasoning behind this.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: It's a scam. It's for people who want to get high.

Let's face it, medical marijuana is a complete lie. It does relieve pain, but that's not why it's happening.

GUILFOYLE: Where's your card?

GUTFELD: Yes. But this is the beauty of the tolerance movement. You can tolerate one behavior, but not another because one is cooler.


GUTFELD: So smoking pot is cooler than smoking cigarettes.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Doesn't smoking pot -- I don't know, studies would show, if you smoke pot, you get cancer at the same rate?

GUTFELD: I think there's a risk, yes.

BOLLING: How can one be OK for you and the other one be bad for you?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I thought that if you smoked pot, that you would want to smoke a cigarette, too, right? Doesn't one thing go for the other?

GUTFELD: Not really.

PERINO: And I'm looking at you.

GUTFELD: Not that I would know. What goes with pot is Doritos. What goes with a cigarette is --

PERINO: See? So, I think that this goes back to revenue generation.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.

PERINO: If you do more medical marijuana, then you could tax it, then people would buy more snacks, and we'll increase taxes on fatty foods and sugar so maybe --

WILLIAMS: And we have to say, we need more jobs. So, hmm. That's an argument for more drug legalization.

GUTFELD: Come on.

BOLLING: I know this -- we should know this, do you tax medical marijuana sales?

WILLIAMS: Yes, of course you would.

PERINO: This is their big plan. Instead of -- most of the states in the country have a balanced budget amendment. One of the reasons they like to get the money from the federal government is because that means they don't have to actually balance their budgets and do the hard stuff, like pension reform. Instead you look for other ways of revenue. Medical marijuana is a good one.

But you're right, it's not cool. Smoking is considered not cool. And also I was reading that secondhand smoke from cigarettes is much more dangerous for you than secondhand smoke from marijuana.

GUTFELD: That's also a lie.

PERINO: Is it? I read it on Internet.

GUTFELD: Secondhand smoke studies are basically scams, to. I'm for legalization.


GUTFELD: Of marijuana. But be honest about it, don't hide behind this Trojan horse of medical marijuana.

BOLLING: What about heroin, methamphetamine, you know, all the other drugs?

GUTFELD: I don't have on any me, Eric.

BOLLING: No, are you in favor of legalizing those? Where do you draw the line? Just curious.

WILLIAMS: Hey, remember Ron Paul says --

GUILFOYLE: Your buddy.

WILLIAMS: -- legalize it and nobody will run out and do it. What do you say to Ron Paul?

BOLLING: I think he's out of his mind.

WILLIAMS: Wait, your fellow Republican, he's out of his mind?


BOLLING: Forget it. I have a 13-year-old. The last thing in the world I want him to do is decide between the candy machine, the coke machine and the --

GUTFELD: But he could anyway. He still can. In our society where it's illegal, it's still easy to get all of those things. And we know from prohibition that once you ban something, it gets worse, we know from prohibition.

GUILFOYLE: The California voters wanted, this put it on the books.

The stuff that thy are doing violates federal law. They aren't doing anything about it, the feds.

PERINO: Smoking cigarettes doesn't impair your reaction time or judgment.

WILLIAMS: It just kills you.

PERINO: Medical marijuana, if you drive after getting high, isn't it the same as driving drunk?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I haven't had cigarette or marijuana.

GUTFELD: Potheads never get violent.

BOLLING: We call not sexist, not violent, they'll be druggist.

GUTFELD: I am druggist. That is true.

I mean, the fact is, when you are drunk, it tends to be more violent, than people in marijuana.

BOLLING: Are you making this stuff.

GUTFELD: From a life experience of being around drunks.

WILLIAMS: Living around drunks.

Let me ask you about another California thing.


WILLIAMS: Eating in the nude. What do you think about that?

GUILFOYLE: I know, amazing. Pass the ice cream. Yes, no, I don't think it's a good idea.

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute. We're not having dinner?

GUILFOYLE: Exactly. Baskin-Robbins.


WILLIAMS: Baskin-Robbins, that would chill the whole thing? I'm not going to Baskin-Robbins with you in the nude. That's crazy.


GUILFOYLE: The wheels just came off the bus. OK.

Here's what happened. So in San Francisco, people were going around nude, and going into restaurants, totally inappropriate, and having dinner, there's families in there. Now they're saying maybe we ought to rethink this, dial it back, which is a good sign that they're reigning in some of the progressive behavior.


GUILFOYLE: I think it's insane. Believe me.

WILLIAMS: All right.

GUILFOYLE: So I'm glad they're taking this small step in the right direction, because I don't know who thought this was a good idea to begin with.

WILLIAMS: Eric doesn't like it.

GUILFOYLE: He doesn't like it. Dana doesn't like it.

PERINO: Well, it started in the summer with the naked protests. They were, like, why should we have to wear clothes? They were going into restaurants. And the owners of the restaurants are thinking, well, could you at least put this under --


GUILFOYLE: They gave you a newspaper, like you're a little puppy.

PERINO: Imagine you're a taxpayer, and your city council just had to spend time debating whether or not there should be naked dining allowed in your city.

GUILFOYLE: That's like one of the mellow things that they're debating.

GUTFELD: Can I make a point? This falls under a rubric called the nudist movement, which is nothing but a scam. These are just nothing but perverted exhibitionists who like people to look at them when they're naked. And they're painting it as a P.C. movement, like nudity is their right.

No, you're ugly. Our right is not to see you in your ugliness.


BOLLING: In the restaurant, but we can see you outside the restaurant.

GUILFOYLE: They stand outside and do it too, around the circle thing in the Castro. Just saying.

WILLIAMS: All right. Slow down. Slow down, take it easy. "The Fab Five" is out of control.

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