'Under his skin': Media critics parrot same line to describe Trump-Pelosi feud

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'Under his skin': Media critics parrot same line to describe Trump-Pelosi feud

President Trump and Speaker Nancy Pelosi trade series of personal barbs as feud intensifies; reaction and analysis on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 24, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Katie Pavlich, Geraldo, Kennedy, and Greg. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, this is “The Five.”

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Did you hear what she said about me long before I went after her? Did you hear? She made horrible statements. She knows they're not true. She made -- she said terrible things, so I just responded in kind.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: The feud intensifies, that was President Trump responding to Nancy Pelosi's latest attack. The two have been going at it each other all week. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: We believe that the President of the United States is engaged in a cover-up.

TRUMP: I don't do cover-ups.

PELOSI: The White House is just crying out for impeachment.

TRUMP: I don't think anybody wants to be impeached.

PELOSI: I pray for the President of the United States.

TRUMP: She's a mess. Look, let's face it.

PELOSI: And now this time, another temper tantrum.

TRUMP: she said I walked in to the room right next door and I started screaming and yelling.

I watch Nancy and she was all crazy yesterday. She did the hands and everything. She reminded me of Beto.

PELOSI: The president, again, stormed out, pound the table, walked out the door.

TRUMP: I walked out, I was so calm.

PELOSI: I wish that his family, or his administration, or his staff would have an intervention.

TRUMP: I'm an extremely stable genius.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: And, of course, the media cheering Pelosi on, ignoring her attacks, while criticizing President Trump for his. They're also using the exact same talking point.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Good evening, and once again the world is learning just how easy it is to get under the skin of the most powerful man on earth.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why does Nancy Pelosi get under the president's skin so much?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Pelosi, for some reason, gets under his skin.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Very clearly got under his skin.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He got petulant. He got small because Pelosi got under his skin.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The Speaker is really getting under the president's skin.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She has a strategy for dealing with the president, and it's extremely effective at getting under his skin.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: And Joe Scarborough is floating this ridiculous conspiracy theory about the president.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The president, of course, during the campaign, we've said it, people closest to him told us that they feared that he was in mental decline. People very close to him told us that they feared that he was in pre-dementia, that he had changed.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, Greg, I want to get to a lot here, but first, the same talking point.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Yeah. With Joe, he's the last person we'd be talking about mental decline. Was that played at half speed? I mean, seriously, he has lost -- he's lost a few steps. OK. This -- like under your skin thing has -- I heard that three times to my face by three different people and it's now the news peg, and it shows the point how the media and the Democrats are almost -- they're incestuous. They're interchangeable. You don't know which one is on the leash --

WATTERS: Right.

GUTFELD: -- and which one is pulling the pet.

WATTERS: Like constitutional crisis.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WATTERS: Who started that?

GUTFELD: Who started that? And the thing is rather than -- they're almost like nonplaying characters in a video game. They don't have any achievements, so all they -- they're marginalized now to, wow, Nancy really got under his skin. That's what they're rooting for. OK. So think about how lucky all of us are to be alive at this moment. Things are so good that two of the most powerful American politicians are in a roast, a public roast, and we're actually enjoying it.

It's a testament to the peace and prosperity that we're experiencing now. An entire party can waste all their time making up stupid stories. It's a libertarian's dream. Because I think what Trump has done is he's shown that we never really needed politicians to begin with because the Democrats aren't doing jack. Everything is great. He's got them completely screwed up.

WATTERS: Well, do you think the media is just helping Pelosi in this battle because you don't really want to get into an argument with the president especially when it gets personal. I think like they're just giving her a hand because I don't know if she can go toe-to-toe with him.

KENNEDY, HOST: I would like to see them go toe-to-toe more often. I would like to see more of those open door meetings where Chuck and Nancy were at the White House and they were all kind of arguing, and they were ambushed by the cameras that the president invited in. The president said he's a transparent person. I would like to see more of that.

And I think Washington is by and large a pretty deplorable place for this very reason. And I think a lot of people watch this and they think they're both nuts and they want to throw everyone out.

WATTERS: It's like two people over 70 accusing each other of being mentally deficient. What do you think about now? So it's like they've gotten over the Russia collusion. He's no longer a traitor. They're just going back to the mentally unstable line of attack.

GERALDO RIVERA, HOST: It reminds me of early Saturday Night Live. Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin.

GUTFELD: Don't say it.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: I will say it. I mean, you know, you can laugh about it, but I find it unsettling that the two most powerful people -- like they're not just the two most powerful politicians, they're the two most powerful people on earth. And when they're going at each other, you know, your nose is leaking, you know. The president is famously thin skinned to borrow a phrase there, but he's also very tempestuous. And you push, he pushed you back, you know, that kind of stuff. I don't like it.

GUTFELD: Is that what the Brits have been doing forever though, Geraldo? We've seen the tapes of labor and Torres is screaming at each other.

RIVERA: Well, yeah, I guess, but it is not traditional here. And I've got a 13-year-old and she's watching the news now, and there's the President of the United States and the Speaker of the House of Representatives --

GUTFELD: That's your fault.

RIVERA: -- and it's like -- they're like hazing each other like a fraternity -- he's not president of Kai. He's President of the United States.

KATIE PAVLICH, HOST: I think it's fantastic. And actually, it's more honest about the way that they actually feel about each other instead of pretending like they like each other. They're actually fighting it out in public. And I love how the phrase getting under someone's skin is now defined by simply responding to attacks. Like remember Kavanaugh defended himself.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: Remember like he's too angry to be on the Supreme Court. This is basically the same thing. She accuses him of a cover-up in front of everybody to appease her Democratic caucus after an impeachment meeting, and then wonders why the president would have something to say about her behavior and what they're doing.

RIVERA: But he didn't have to say about her behavior. He had to say about her personally and he talked about how -- well, he inferred that she had, you know --

PAVLICH: And she inferred that he's committed a crime.

(CROSSTALK)

KENNEDY: OK. Can I just add something really quickly? Because everyone is talking about the I-word, impeachment, and Nancy Pelosi is the one who's most adverse to it. She's the one who doesn't want to go down that path because she says it's too divisive, but then she uses the word intervention which is like diet impeachment. It's like -- if you want to impeach him, just impeach him. Go ahead and do it.

RIVERA: I think she revealed the true agenda. She -- when she said cover up, that's what started it all. The president is engaged in a cover-up. Then she went into the infrastructure meeting. It was clear that what she was -- what -- inadvertently she reveal was the Speaker of the House is with the radical Democrats that she wants impeachment. It's just a question of tactically when to launch the A-bomb.

PAVLICH: Right after that and said impeachment is certainly something maybe we should do right after she accused him of a cover-up.

GUTFELD: But it is another lesson for American viewers about the media and how the -- with the direction the media takes. Who do they mimic? Who do they champion? You go back to the attacks on Kavanaugh, as a mob. At the elevation of Smollett. The elevation of Avenatti. Now Pelosi is kind of like their Avenatti. It's like they switch out one Trump-killer for another Trump-killer, because this Trump-killer didn't work, right? So Pelosi is going to be the one -- she should run, actually, but -- Avenatti, Smollett, none of this stuff is working so they have to keep trying new ones.

RIVERA: Avenatti, Smollett, and then the Speaker of the House of Representatives, that's your trio? I know where your head is at --

KENNEDY: But what about Jerry Nadler, it's the same thing. Like they invest -- and Greg is right about that, they invest hopes in a new titan, pretty much quarterly. It's a new person that they're hoping that they will have the magical combination for the Rubik's cube that will be the president's undoing.

WATTERS: And today, Jerry Nadler, I believe, fainted at a public event, lost consciousness, had to be resuscitated --

GUTFELD: No joke.

WATTERS: -- by the mayor here. He had a glass of water and I think he's feeling better. So we just want to let the audience know that Jerry Nadler is doing --

PAVLICH: Can we talk about the media again doing their own self-diagnosis of the problem? Like, you're not allowed to make any jokes right now about Jerry Nadler having an issue, but people like Joe Scarborough are allowed to go on national television and say that people have told him without actually naming anybody, that people have told him that the president is pre-dementia.

I remember when it's not allowed -- we weren't allowed to ask about anybody's health when it came to that, but now news anchors are diagnosing people's mental health.

KENNEDY: And if you have said that about Hillary Clinton --

PAVLICH: Oh, not allowed.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: But with Nadler it looked like, you know, because he used to be a lot larger, I've known him forever, and now he's deflated, you know, people lose a lot of weight, they look like they -- and he looked awful. But Republicans are fortunate that the two most unattractive people in Washington, Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler, are the point people for the Democrats.

WATTERS: Basically on a track, they are.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I want -- the point about accusing somebody or suggesting that the leader of the free world has dementia, you're kind of suggesting that he needs to be removed by any means necessary --

RIVERA: Treason.

GUTFELD: -- because a hero -- if he's demented, a hero would remove him. I mean, there're some dangerous, you know, conclusions you can draw from that.

RIVERA: Seriously speaking in this Barr investigation, let's see where that leads. How close did they come to the 25th amendment B.S.? How close did they come for this latent coup happening, you know, as they were, you know, plotting, OK, what do we do now with these --

WATTERS: Because we already know that Andy McCabe opened up an obstruction investigation into the president the day after he fired James Comey.

PAVLICH: They've just gone from -- they're gone on this list of things that they couldn't defeat Trump on, whether it was the election, the special counsel investigation, now they're trying to do impeachment without doing impeachment --

WATTERS: And now they're back to mentally ill.

PAVLICH: -- the media, the DNC list server, apparently went around with everyone using the same kind of terminology, and now they're saying he may have dementia as Greg said. Well, there's a solution to that.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PAVLICH: If you really want to do the right thing for the country and that's to remove him from office.

WATTERS: All right.

RIVERA: I saw that movie.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: Coming up, President Trump's major move to declassify Russia probe documents, up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: President Trump announcing a major move to investigate the investigators. He's giving Attorney General Bill Barr the authority to declassify any documents related to the Russia probe. The president hitting Democrats and explaining the decision.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: They want to try and get a do-over of the Mueller report. It doesn't work that way. I declassified, I guess, potentially millions of pages of documents. I don't know what it is. I have no idea. But I want to be transparent. Our attorney general is in charge. Let's see what he finds.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PAVLICH: Congressman Adam Schiff ripping the move saying, quote, the cover-up has entered a new and dangerous phrase and also it's un-American. So, Jesse, now that this declassification of millions of documents has occurred, do you think that this deep state is going to fight back because you have to work with a bunch of different agencies who were allegedly involved?

WATTERS: Well, all the scoundrels involved in the coup attempt are gone. If you think about Comey, McCabe, Strzok, Page, all those gangsters are now out of there, so you can't really do much.

PAVLICH: There's the FBI, though.

WATTERS: True, and I'm sure there's some other bad players out there. But if you declassify everything you're going to have access to raw source documents, the FISA applications and the 302's, and this is why the media is so upset by this. It's the first time Donald Trump has convinced the media to be against transparency. The media does not want to see secret CIA and FBI documents for the very first time.

Usually, they win Pulitzer Prize, you know, finding these documents from the Vietnam War until now. Now they don't want to see it because they know they participated in a witch-hunt. They know that all of their heroes like Comey have been lying. And like Greg said, Comey is the new Avenatti. They're going to dump him as soon as the crosshairs go over his head. It's curtains for this guy. You better lawyer up.

PAVLICH: Greg --

RIVERA: It's even worse than that because -- remember, there was two parts to Mueller. There's collusion and there's obstruction. So if there's no collusion, how do you obstruct no crime? It's not an obstruction of justice --

RIVERA: Juan, you're making so much sense.

RIVERA: Obstruction of injustice. It really is. Obstruction of injustice.

WATTERS: Right. That was my line, you stole that.

RIVERA: I had it first.

(LAUGHTER)

RIVERA: I invented -- I remember the eureka moment, it came to me. But I mean, imagine when you see that Mueller knew in March or June of 2017 that there was no collusion and didn't tell the president. So he kept the investigation going making Trump crazy, so he's making Trump fire that one, fire that one. So why didn't he tell the president there was no collusion? Because he was setting a perjury trap for the President of the United States.

I think that these documents will be extremely unsettling for the people that have been promoting the whole notion of a Russian --

PAVLICH: They've totally moved the goal post because they accused the president of obstruction when it came to the Mueller investigation. And now they're saying, well, he's obstructing justice by not complying with the subpoenas that Jerry Nadler is issuing to them.

GUTFELD: Could you imagine if this is how they're reacting after the Mueller report cleared the president if it had gone the other way. I mean, if this is how they're acting when the president is cleared imagine if there was something there, I mean, there would have been mobs and pitchforks. This entire circus is due to the fact that the media and the Democrats got their asses handed to them in 2016.

And then again with Mueller -- Mueller was a repeat of the election and I'm saying that as somebody who didn't vote for Trump but grew up. When the moment -- he's inaugurated -- he's my president. I didn't sit there --

PAVLICH: Who did you vote for?

GUTFELD: I vote -- I think I wrote in myself.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Either that or crowd handler, I can't remember. But -- the thing is, after the inauguration, Trump became my president and I judged him on deeds and not words, and I've been very happy. But we're learning now the three years didn't matter, the two years didn't matter, they're going to do this to him anyway. It's -- I don't think it's about Trump. It's about our viewers. Trump is merely a proxy for the American people that the media hates. That Trump represents flyover country, non-Hollywood, non- Manhattan people who just sit there with their fingers up their noses, you know, getting drunk in their trailer park. That's the way they see it.

PAVLICH: So, Kennedy, what is the political benefit for Democrats here? Obviously, they're trying to satisfy their base who wants the president impeached, but the rest of the country, polling overwhelming shows that they want everyone to move on and actually focus on --

KENNEDY: I mean, that's the problem, and Jesse kind of alluded to this is the press is going to have to do some real work here. And they're going to have to sift through these things and figure out what the worst parts were of these abuses.

WATTERS: But how are they going to spin it?

KENNEDY: That's the problem, you can't spin it --

WATTERS: That's why it's harder for them.

KENNEDY: It's problematic if this is the structure and the system that we've got, and that has to change. And, you know, you have to apply a much more objective lens to this problem because right now it's so incredibly subjective and people feel as though their opinions are facts.

PAVLICH: Right.

RIVERA: I think it's going to rock the FISA court. I think --

KENNEDY: Well, that's OK. I mean, that's good. And I think --

(CROSSTALK)

KENNEDY: -- we haven't seen inside the FISA court enough. And it's not --

RIVERA: Probably true.

KENNEDY: -- I don't think that the attorney general should abstract things conveniently for the president. I think we should see much more documentation, see how these applications are rubber stamped. See how the judges justify some of those decisions. See if there's any follow through. And if it's not enough, then Congress has to get up off their booties and do something about it.

PAVLICH: Greg, I want to go back to the narrative here before we go, with the media and Democrats in Congress who are now -- Adam Schiff included, accusing the president of using law enforcement as a political weapon now as a result of declassifying this information. So they're essentially projecting what they've been doing for the last two, three, four years on to the president for being more transparent.

WATTERS: We're the only ones that are allowed to weaponized the intelligence agencies, not the president.

GUTFELD: And also, they're also the only people who can doctor videos. The media can provide misleading editorial, but nobody else can. We can do it, but you can't.

RIVERA: What do you mean?

GUTFELD: But the thing is, right now -- I mean, there's two things going on right now. There's Trump and there's Brexit, and both of them are telling everybody the same story that the political class is suffering a global reversal.

RIVERA: I've got a milk shake here.

WATTERS: Well said, Steve Hilton.

GUTFELD: I knew you're going to say that.

KENNEDY: OK.

PAVLICH: We've been lied to.

GUTFELD: He said global reversal, tonight -- what his show called?

KENNEDY: Next Revolution.

GUTFELD: Next Revolution with Steve Hilton.

PAVLICH: Speaking of hoaxes and the media falling for them, Jussie Smollett bragging about being innocent in the hate crime hoax could be coming back to haunt him. Find out why, up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

RIVERA: New developments in the Jussie Smollett saga, a Chicago judge ordering the disgraced actor's criminal case file unsealed, this coming nearly two months after the Cook County prosecutor suddenly dropped 16 felony counts against the Empire actor for allegedly staging a hate crime against himself. The judge saying that since Smollett has spoken to the media about his case, he has waved his right to privacy and here's an example.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JUSSIE SMOLLETT, ACTOR: I've been truthful and consistent on every single level since day one. I would not be my mother's son if I was capable of one drop of what I've been accused of.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

RIVERA: Oh, don't you hate when the sanctimonious narcissist invoke their love for their moms. And the Chicago cops saying they plan to release Smollett's files next week. So, Katie, this is the week of the revelation. This is the week of the unsealing of the files. This is the week -- so what do you expect will happen in the city of Chicago where the prosecutor dropped this case so suddenly after getting a call from the former chief- of-staff of Michelle Obama, the most famous of Chicago residents.

PAVLICH: Well, in terms of legal consequences there won't be any for Jussie Smollett, but there may be some accountability for --

RIVERA: I'm not so sure of that.

PAVLICH: Well, OK. I'll let you take that, but since the charges have been dropped, I don't know what else they could now charge with him, considering he filed a false police report and blah, blah, blah. We'll find out all the details --

RIVERA: Well, perjury.

PAVLICH: But the point is the reason they're releasing this is because he is talking about it publicly and the public has a right to know. There're public resources used to investigate this case. He's talking about it clearly on national television. His attorneys have gone on national television and smeared the brothers that he hired and accused them of doing things like dressing up in white face and that's why Jussie was confused about who attacked him.

And so, you know, this is something that he's been privileged with since the beginning, and he was privileged to have the case sealed, and I'm glad the judge is doing the right thing by holding him accountable for his actions. If he didn't want -- if he really wanted this to go away he should have kept his mouth shut.

RIVERA: You know, Greg, I think that when you considered the fact that Empire, the show, is being canceled --

GUTFELD: I know.

RIVERA: -- six season, and there is no doubt in my mind but -- that this scandal helped accelerate that cancellation process. And yet, the actors in Empire stick by this guy.

GUTFELD: Some of them do. You know, it's a real tragedy because I never had a chance to watch the show. Maybe it will end up somewhere else. You know, I have to hand it to them, quite a disappearing act. TMZ can't even find this guy. I have a theory, he's actually hanging out in MAGA country.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Two lessons -- two lessons from the Smollett thing. Number one, he showed, like Avenatti did, how easy it is to punk the media, all you've got to do is tick all the boxes. Number one, hate Trump, right? He did that, embrace identity politics, and have an envious victim status. What he did, he created a story and the bow was the red Trump hat.

The second lesson, if a story is pushed by the media that makes you angry, doubt it. Like every story in the last year that has pissed you off, made you upset, is never what it is. If you look, again, Kavanaugh, Covington, Avenatti's crap, Smollett, every -- that's what -- these were angry divisive stories pushed by the media and then they fell apart. They cheated you of your time and your energy --

PAVLICH: And there's no follow-up.

GUTFELD: There's no follow-up.

PAVLICH: There's no follow-up to say we really, really screwed up and we're sorry for it. In fact, there's a justification for things like Michael Avenatti.

RIVERA: And yet, Kennedy, you have a situation here where there was an intervention. I mean, there was a political intervention. There's a special prosecutor now, you know, investigating the -- what's her name, Fox, the -- the prosecutor, Cook County prosecutor, dropping the case so suddenly. There are real-life implications, and yet he still commands, you know, some loyalty. I just don't get it. I don't see why -- I mean, to invoke a hate crime in Chicago, the city of Emmett Till, you know, that's where the kid came from who was so infamously lynched after flirting with a white girl on a trip down South. It's - these are real this, is a big to me. This guy is deserving of no sympathy and he should have really gotten - -

MONTGOMERY: And that's why the Chief of Police was so personally offended by some of Jussie Smollett's actions and he said that they were very obvious and very provable.

And the worry in this country is there are two forms of justice, sometimes it's based on race and sometimes it's based on privilege and whether or not you have money. And Jussie Smollett not only had money and prestige, but he also had political access, and that's very unfair.

And then Kim Foxx tried to cover her tracks by putting out that memo, saying, "OK. Is there any time where we've dropped charges in a case kind of similar to this, so they don't look like total idiots". At the same time she was supposed to have recused herself.

And if you remember her spokesperson said, well she only colloquial recused herself, she didn't normally recuse herself as if--

RIVERA: Colloquial recusal. I didn't learn that--

GUTFELD: That's my band name.

MONTGOMERY: And also I've always thought it was strange that the judge sealed the whole thing.

RIVERA: It's coming on seal now. By June 3rd it will be on seal. But Jesse listen to this, during the time the two dozen detectives were investigating - according to our brain room, there were 18 murders in Chicago, there were 104 criminal sexual assaults, 370 robberies, 423 aggravated batteries, 535 burglaries, 3401 thefts.

I mean, these are all things they could have been probing instead of wasting their time chasing a fraudulent story.

WATTERS: Yes. I mean, you could argue that he has blood on his hands as--

RIVERA: You could argue.

WATTERS: --a result of him tying up the police department. You could argue after two years of this country chasing around a fake story about Russia, what else could we have done then? It's such a wasted opportunity.

But I tend to look at the bright side here. This man has united this country. He has brought together Fox News, Rahm Emanuel, Donald Trump and Charles Barkley, all of them say this guy's a fraud, and I think that's a good thing. Because if you look at what he--

PAVLICH: And Jesse Watters.

WATTERS: And me. And if you look at what he wanted, he didn't get anything. He wanted a raise, didn't get it. He wanted the show to keep going, he didn't get it. He wanted the attention from the black community. Black community dropped him like a rock.

This guy is toast. He should have kept that sweetheart deal and shut his mouth, but he had bad management and he's a delusional con artist, Russia hoax artists.

GUTFELD: Yes. Good - nice little follow-up there with the Russia thing.

RIVERA: Maybe he's Russian.

GUTFELD: No, but you know what he could redeem himself if he actually opened himself to those he despised. If he said, "OK, this was a lie, I'm going to go into MAGA country and I'm going to face the people I ridiculed".

RIVERA: How silly.

GUTFELD: No, if you look at - I'm talking about to redemption--

WATTERS: He needs to go on the GG Show, do a full hour .

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

RIVERA: We ought to do what Aaron Rodgers did, get in a beer chugging contest. There's also a crazy plane moment we'll be bringing you and much more. The Fastest 7, up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MONTGOMERY: Here we go first up. There is a reason why you never want to get into a beer chugging contest with an NFL lineman. Green Bay Packers' offensive tackle David Bakhtiari showing off his impressive skills, pounding down not one, not two cold brews at last night's NBA playoff game.

But when he challenges teammate Aaron Rodgers to do the same, the star quarterback fumbles by not quite finishing his entire cup.

PAVLICH: Party foul.

MONTGOMERY: Yes, exactly Katie. Oh, I just got a pinkies up, just a little sip of the brews. It is a pale ale.

PAVLICH: Embarrassed about this every Green Bay Packers fan in Wisconsin, because there is the state drain and if he can--

MONTGOMERY: Look at Bakhtiari.

WATTERS: Katie, I would argue that his girlfriend sitting next to him was pretty embarrassed. She didn't look very thrilled when he couldn't finish it.

PAVLICH: Yes, she's like, "You're from Wisconsin, get it done".

GUTFELD: I disagree. I would - I never understood why drinking fast is a badge of honor. Like good drinkers drink slow, so you can drink the rest of your life. The guys in reputation for pounding beers--

WATTERS: That's Miller Lite.

GUTFELD: What?

WATTERS: Its Miller Lite.

GUTFELD: OK. It's not alcohol.

PAVLICH: It's not the fancy whiskey.

RIVERA: They have big bellies.

GUTFELD: But like the people that you grew up with that were known for pounding beer, what are they doing now?

WATTERS: They're on “The Five.”

RIVERA: And their bellies are hanging out over the table. He is a scotch--

PAVLICH: What are you--

RIVERA: Yes. I think he's one of the most pleasant people in public life in America.

MONTGOMERY: That's how anyone who plays football--

RIVERA: I like him.

WATTERS: Well, are you looking for tickets?

RIVERA: No I just like the guy. So he can't drink beer--

GUTFELD: That's like saying you have nice lawyer.

WATTERS: One has to make fun of them one time, is everything else he's better at.

RIVERA: He's really good at.

MONTGOMERY: That's true. Much more athletic than--

RIVERA: And he even died in Game of Thrones.

MONTGOMERY: Yes, that's sad, didn't even make it to the finale.

WATTERS: I haven't seen the last on episode.

GUTFELD: Oh, stop it. Everybody dies.

MONTGOMERY: They didn't only die. They all choke on plastic water bottles, very fast.

PAVLICH: And straws.

MONTGOMERY: All right. Up next, this guy may be the worst airline passenger in the last 30 years. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You cannot smoke on airplanes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh my God.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's against the law. You do know that, right?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MONTGOMERY: Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

PAVLICH: What else has he got?

RIVERA: That is a stoner.

MONTGOMERY: Smoker was eventually escorted off the plane by police. Geraldo, you'll remember this. Maybe you're the only person here who flew when people actually smoked on planes. Remember like the last five rows were reserved for people--

RIVERA: Yes, Air France in first class had three rows. The first row was non-smoking, the two rows behind that were smoking.

WATTERS: That makes a big difference.

RIVERA: No, this guy is obviously vaping. He is obviously a stoner. He is wasted. He didn't know where he is. He did know what he did.

WATTERS: I think will probably woke up from the comma from the 60s. Isn't he, he's like--

RIVERA: He said where is Geraldo?

WATTERS: This is illegal. He's like Trump's President?

GUTFELD: He's --

RIVERA: Trump's President, oh, sure. Sure Trump is President. Yes, right.

GUTFELD: Two possibilities, one he is on some kind of oxy, because he's definitely out of it and I don't think that's pot. But he might have seen the movie Sexy Beast. Do you remember how a Ben Kingsley gets off the plane? He smokes a cigarette, because he wants to avoid what's happening when he lands. This guy didn't - maybe didn't want to see his in-laws. So he thought I'll get arrested when I land.

RIVERA: But it probably oxy now you mentioned.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: He seems to have that wherewithal. But it just goes to show how much society has changed, because people used to smoke on planes. And now if you smoke on the plane, they arrest you. Everyone freaks out.

GUTFELD: He really needed that cigarette.

PAVLICH: The last plane I was on cross country. It was a guy sitting next to me like that and he was eating marijuana and he had this little bag and got - he need to get it. You could smell it and he's like put it away. And then be like - open it again.

GUTFELD: So you were travelling with Kilmeade?

PAVLICH: So I had somewhat of a similar experience, but I didn't report him, because I don't want to land the plane early, I had somewhere to go.

MONTGOMERY: Because they would make you land it. That's it. Bring this down. And finally, a new study says people who prefer instrumental music, just like this, are much smarter. Researchers at Oxford have found there's a link between brain power and music without lyrics like jazz, classical and electronica. Take five, Geraldo.

RIVERA: It sounds to me like they want people to live in elevators. Yes.

MONTGOMERY: No, because researchers probably listened to this music, they found a way to justify their own--

RIVERA: I think that - Jazz --- I like Jazz, but Jazz is--

GUTFELD: OK. #1, part of this study is tainted by the fact that classical music fans tend to be smart. We know that because we've seen that in movies - smart people. But the other thing too is, you can think when you're listening to instrumentals.

You cannot think about - you can't think your own thoughts when you have lyrics, because the lyrics actually replace your thoughts. That's why so many idiots listen to bad music, because you're influenced by like Maroon 5.

When if you listen to electronica, you can actually work, that's why I really think that lyrics are dangerous to young people.

RIVERA: Do you hum this along?

GUTFELD: I don't hum to anything.

MONTGOMERY: --all the lyrics.

RIVERA: You hum--

GUTFELD: I stopped listening to the lyrics like 10 years ago, 15 years ago and my life has improved immeasurably.

MONTGOMERY: Well, we have mouth trumpet Monday (ph) on my show.

RIVERA: Oh, he did?

MONTGOMERY: Yes.

WATTERS: I like that. See, as you guys know, I'm a classically trained flute player and I've played for 10 years. So I think this study makes total sense. High intellectual firepower--

RIVERA: Did your mom get you into that?

PAVLICH: Is that real news are fake news?

WATTERS: No that is real. I have pictures I will prove it.

PAVLICH: OK.

WATTERS: We will declassify the flute pictures.

PAVLICH: Next Friday, we're going to publish the photos.

MONTGOMERY: All right, Fan Mail Friday is next. You are the luckiest person in the world. Stay here.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Fan Mail Friday. That's true Geraldo. Let's get to your questions. First one from Phil. Hey, Phil how are you? Good, Greg. "What was your most memorable experience with law enforcement?

PAVLICH: Oh, no.

GUTFELD: Who said oh, no.

WATTERS: Katie.

GUTFELD: Katie?

WATTERS: You've been arrested. Is there a mug shot?

PAVLICH: No, I am never been arrested.

GUTFELD: All right. But why did you say, "Oh, no". Go - say, what's in your head right now.

PAVLICH: Because one time as a teenager I ran from the police, because I was drinking.

WATTERS: That's - everybody does that.

RIVERA: I got stopped going 105 and 107, by the by CHIPS California Highway Patrol and he came really aggressively to my window and--

GUTFELD: Then he recognized you.

RIVERA: Saw it was me and started laughing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: I got pulled over by a cop and I thought I was speeding, but he just wanted a picture with me.

GUTFELD: No, he didn't.

WATTERS: Swear to god. It was Michigan.

MONTGOMERY: I don't believe that.

GUTFELD: Do not say who he is, he's going to lose his job and his family and his friends.

MONTGOMERY: Oh, that's awful.

GUTFELD: That's awful. That's a horrible story.

MONTGOMERY: I was--

GUTFELD: --pulling over Jesse Watters so he can get a picture with him? I mean, it sound like you're Danny--

MONTGOMERY: That's illegal.

WATTERS: I think it is illegal.

GUTFELD: Go ahead Kennedy.

MONTGOMERY: No, I was lucky enough to do a ride-along with my brother when he was a member of the Gresham Police Department in Gresham, Oregon and I wore all black and they gave me a Kevlar vest and I had combat boots and I pretended like I was going--

PAVLICH: Am I the only one who didn't admit it anything?

GUTFELD: No, no, no, I was underage drinking, and the police pulled up. This is in front of QFI in El Camino, San Mateo and I hid behind a bush, right?

WATTERS: A little bush.

GUTFELD: A little bush. And the convoy - it was a big bush and the cops yelled for me - yelled to come out and I when I walked outside I had scared the police officer, because I came out from behind a bush--

RIVERA: Lucky, he didn't shoot you.

GUTFELD: That's what he said to me. He said you're lucky I didn't shoot you, because I saw you cut - I didn't know - I thought you were over there. And then they let me go.

PAVLICH: There you go.

MONTGOMERY: Thank you, Greg.

PAVLICH: For helping me out.

GUTFELD: Oh, I've got worse ones.

PAVLICH: OK. Good.

GUTFELD: Richard asks, this is a trend, "Tell us about your first hospital experience" - stitches, broken, bone, etc - that's short for et cetera. Kennedy, first hospital experience?

MONTGOMERY: I was thrown into a TV set when I was three years old - four years old by a neighbor Blair Brasilia (ph) He picked me up, threw me in from the TV and that was my first concussion.

GUTFELD: Wow.

MONTGOMERY: So I rode to the hospital in an ambulance and woke up speaking Latin.

GUTFELD: Jesse.

WATTERS: I fractured my wrist falling off a seesaw at two.

GUTFELD: Wow.

RIVERA: At two.

WATTERS: I've had a lot --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA: I have scars - punch walls--

GUTFELD: Punched the walls--

RIVERA: It was actually a window--

WATTERS: Sounds like you were chugging beer before--

RIVERA: I was, being Aaron Rogers.

WATTERS: Yes.

PAVLICH: I was born in a hospital.

WATTERS: That's it.

PAVLICH: Yes, I went to the hospital and - I couldn't breathe and I was there for two days.

RIVERA: You couldn't breathe.

MONTGOMERY: Oh, wow.

PAVLICH: Yes, it's real bad. I had asthma as a kid.

RIVERA: And you remember--

PAVLICH: Oh, yes. It's over now.

WATTERS: Oh, nerds.

GUTFELD: I had high school strong pot.

WATTERS: That's the best story.

RIVERA: You were like wandering around.

GUTFELD: No, no, it's like every - it's every - almost one in every four kids ends up at the emergency room thinking they were going to die because they smoked weed.

WATTERS: No, Greg.

GUTFELD: I'm one of those kids.

WATTERS: Only you.

GUTFELD: Yes, I thought I was going to die and the cops were just laughing at me. One of them put a flashlight, "you're okay, just go home, drink some hot chocolate". My parents were like just like shaking their heads.

All right. In 40 year - oh, great question, "In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?" Interesting.

PAVLICH: Nothing.

RIVERA: I think probably Trump.

GUTFELD: Somebody is getting tweeted tonight. What do you think?

PAVLICH: Nostalgic for?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: Real pets and real people, because everything's going to be robots.

RIVERA: True.

WATTERS: Yes. I was going to say pre cell phone - before cell phones.

PAVLICH: That's like now --

WATTERS: What do you mean?

PAVLICH: I mean --

WATTERS: Remember the 90s we had no phones.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's - you're already nostalgic for that. What's now?

PAVLICH: In 40 years.

GUTFELD: Now that you would be - you know it's not going to be here, but you're going to miss THE FIVE.

WATTERS: THE FIVE. I'm not going to be around in a couple of years?

GUTFELD: Well, 40 years.

WATTERS: Greg - longevity man.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Your head will be in a vat - a nutrient vats. It'll be five brains.

MONTGOMERY: Oh people would be nostalgic for big butts. They are very --

RIVERA: You think people are getting slimmer is that your --?

MONTGOMERY: No, I think right now people have like big, injected - like there are classes to make your butts --

GUTFELD: Biometrics, it's over it's all the gym classes.

MONTGOMERY: --bar and SOT (ph) and all that stuff.

GUTFELD: I'm going to say driving and drivers, because that's - that will be the thing that's gone. It'll all be self-driving. And we'll--

WATTERS: Everybody loves to drive.

GUTFELD: No, but people are going to - you mean other humans drove for you.

RIVERA: I think the investment in driverless cars is going to be a big, big, empty--

MONTGOMERY: Yes, I don't know.

GUTFELD: All right, we got to go. "One More Thing", up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It's time now for "One More Thing". So guys following this crazy guy on Jeopardy!, he's almost crossed $2 million - really, really close call. He was down by about $13,000 last night in the second round. He almost - well, just watch what happened.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And you add 10,000, putting you in the lead with 35,800, so champ over to you now. Are you taking the a-train? Are you taking the a- train to victory? Oh, yes you are 20,908 (ph). Yes, you can breathe the sigh of relief.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: There he is, and look at him. Here gets a little cocky, throws out the Jordan tongue wag. Kind of a weird thing to do, but big game James can do it every once there. He is licking his chops.

GUTFELD: Didn't they just - didn't we already show what he won before he show that?

MONTGOMERY: What is he Miley Cyrus?

WATTERS: I think it was producer. Also speaking of appropriate "Watters World" - Lindsey Graham making his "Watters World" debut Saturday at 8:00 o'clock.

GUTFELD: A Graham cracker.

WATTERS: There is Greg Gutfeld is next.

GUTFELD: All right. My show. Tomorrow night 10:00 p.m. I got the great writer Walter Kirn; we got Dr. Drew Pinsky, he's going to solve a lot of my problems, there are plenty. And of course, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus both have two new shows on Fox Nation which you got to check out.

Now it's time for Greg's How About These Ducks! This is a new segment on Fox will be on every single day for the next 10 years. Check out my ducks. Look at all these ducks.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

GUTFELD: Those are ducks, Jesse crossing the street. This is in a country that I forgot. But imagine some country, I think it might be it might be Thailand or - but anyway the ducks are crossing the street as you can tell. And now I'm going to shut up.

PAVLICH: Why does a duck cross the road?

WATTERS: That's right.

RIVERA: Why these - Thailand.

GUTFELD: I don't know

RIVERA: You made that up?

GUTFELD: Yes, I did. I was a foul comment.

WATTERS: Excellent. All right, Kennedy?

MONTGOMERY: This is such a great story. From Gaylord Focker or actually from Will Hunting to Gaylord Focker.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

A young man who was a janitor at NYU's Tisch Langone Hospital, he was a janitor there when he was 17 years old, now he's 29. He just graduated Sigma Theta Tau, the international Honor Society of nursing. From the same hospital where he was a janitor, he is now a decorated nurse and he goes into the nursing program there.

WATTERS: A man nurse.

MONTGOMERY: Yes - Gaylord Focker.

WATTERS: Got the reference.

GUTFELD: From one can to another.

WATTERS: All right. Congratulations. Geraldo?

RIVERA: Long time ago I exposed the conditions in a dreadful institution for the population we used to describe as mentally retarded. Now we call these folks who are disabled - developmentally disabled, some are artistic.

We got them out of the institutions in nice community-based residences.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

RIVERA: One of the many agencies - a great one that does these community- based residences Life's WORC. We raise funds, we use to box. John Lennon did a concert for me. Now we do the golf tournament.

It's a next Thursday May 30th, is the 32nd edition of the golf tournament. We've raised about $7 million with these golf tournaments to create these homes that really are wonderful humane, progressive places where their potential is realized.

MONTGOMERY: Beautiful, awesome.

WATTERS: What clubs they are?

RIVERA: What club do we play at?

WATTERS: Yes.

RIVERA: Well, we play at various clubs around. The organization is--

WATTERS: Yes, I'm available next Thursday. I mean--

RIVERA: Well, come on by. Hannity comes for--

PAVLICH: Memorial Day is on Monday and the Poppy Wall of Honor--

(VIDEO PLAYING)

PAVLICH: We need to remember what Memorial Day is all about - has returned to the National Mall for the second consecutive year to honored more than 645,000 American service members who gave their lives to our nation since World War I.

Yesterday, the U.S. Army old guard put a bunch of flags at Arlington Cemetery to remember the sacrifices that have been made there. So, happy Memorial Day and I know that we are all grateful for the service of people who have given the ultimate sacrifice for us.

WATTERS: Yes, we are. All right. We'll see you back here on Monday for our Memorial Day special. Don't miss it. Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

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