This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 19, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Hello everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Kennedy, Juan Williams, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."
WATTERS: President Trump hammering Democrats with a stern mid-term message.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: Come Election Day, Americans will remember Kavanaugh and they will remember all sorts of other things because that was a shameful act.
This will be an election of Kavanaugh, the caravan, law and order, and common sense. But the choice could not be more clear, Democrats produce mobs. Republicans produce jobs.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Democrats, however, don't seem to be able to get on the same page. For example, Texas senate hopeful Beto O'Rourke is doubling down on impeaching Trump.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BETO O'ROURKE, DEMOCRATIC SENATORIAL CANDIDATE: I would like an impeachment to an indictment. There is enough there to proceed with a trial for a full vetting of the facts and to make the best informed decision in the interests of this country and our future.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Senator Spartacus, Corey Booker, is making this bizarre claim that Canada is more American than America.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. CORY BOKER, D-N.J.: Every country we are competing with is driving down the cost of college. Germany cost is 0 and 4 percent of median income go to college. Canada -- I can't stand how they're out Americaning us in Canada. Trudeau? Give me a break great. It cost about 6 to 7 percent of median income to go to college. What does it cost in America? Fifty-two percent median income. And why are other nations out-Americaning us?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: And then there is Nancy Pelosi, explaining why she doesn't really care if socialist policies hurt Americans.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: I think that we owe the American people to be there for them, for their financial security, respecting the dignity and work of every person in our country. And if there is some collateral damage, for some others who do not share our view, well, so be it. But it shouldn't be our original purpose.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right, Dana, a smorgasbord of Democratic -- of Democrats trying to grasp but anything to get the message before the election.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Well, two of those, Cory Booker and Beto O'Rourke are really running for 2020.
PERINO: Nancy Pelosi is probably the most message disciplined out of all of them, and she remembers -- she's the one who is saying we're not going to do impeachment, like, everybody like stop that. And Beto O'Rourke is actually -- he's saying that an indictment and impeachment are the same thing, which is just legally not true, and he should know that if he's running for senate.
I do think that if he ends up losing in Texas you will see him on all of the shows for the next week, where the host will beg him to run in 2020 and President Trump should want that to happen because that is not a strong message. Cory Booker, where is he giving that speech? He's in South Carolina.
Is he in South Carolina because he's helping congressional Democrats who are really wanting to or challengers to Republicans because they really want to win. That's not happening in South Carolina. Unlike Lindsey Graham, for example. He going on a 12-state tour after Kavanaugh so he can do all those things.
President Trump said his closing argument is going to be Kavanaugh, the caravan, law and order and common sense. Now, I think that saying that closing argument, two and a half weeks until the election in this news cycle is a little risky because by Saturday we could have a new closing argument because if you think about it, Kavanaugh was just two weeks ago.
But the Democrats, they are bailing out of three important races today. Down in Texas 23rd, that's Will Hurd's seat, that was a district that Hillary Clinton won but now he's pulling ahead so Democrats are going to take money out of that, try to put it somewhere else. That's happened also in Nebraska 2 and Minnesota 8.
So, places where the Democrats are thinking they could have pickups, those are now out of reach for them, possibly. Of course it depends on turnout, but if they are not going to put money in, that shows something. The Democrats' closing message is going to be this, healthcare, specifically pre-existing conditions, which we can talk about more if you wanted.
And if you see their ads, they're starting to say, check on President Trump. Vote for a check on President Trump. So, if you are a challenger to a Republican who is already in Congress, the ad would say, Jesse Watters votes with President Trump 98 percent of the time. You don't want that, do you? And that's how they're trying to motivate the base. Republicans out there --
WATTERS: Just 98 percent there?
PERINO: Yes, well, you can hedge a little. You can hedge a little on a couple of things just to, you know, keep it interesting. I think that Republicans, if you see their ads, it's immigration and support for President Trump. So this idea that this is not about President Trump, it just really is.
He should embrace it. He's basically out on the campaign trail all weekend. And I think that the Republicans, if they can keep focused, a lot of the races that Democrats thought they would be able to win, will be out of their reach.
WATTERS: What do you think about the mid terms, Greg?
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I try not to think about it that much. I got other stuff going on.
WATTERS: Well, because it's your job.
GUTFELD: I got a weekend coming up and have some fun. The great thing about when you watch the rally, you know what Trump's message is. It's really simple. You know, it's national security, crime and borders. It is law and order. It's really hard to find out what the Democrats are for. You only know what they're against. Him, and they're also against being out of power.
So that leads you into the arena of what Nancy Pelosi said, which was particularly loathsome, that collateral damage is acceptable. And we know this. We know that the end justifies the means. By any means possible, they need their power.
So you saw with Kavanaugh, his family, collateral damage, right. If you look at what's happening now with the caravan, the collateral damage are those people who may suffer grave injury trying to cross a river or being sexually abused, but they want that spectacle, right, they want that. So that's collateral damage.
They want to raise taxes and increase regulation that hurts businesses, collateral damage. We'd go back all the way to Obamacare, right, collateral damage. You lost your doctor, your rates went up, but that was collateral damage because the idea of government running healthcare was such a big idea, didn't matter if you lost your doctor.
So their message, it's not about ideas, it's not about progress. It's about power by any means necessary, and when you have that ideology, that means collateral damage is not just acceptable, it's practically the only thing you have. They're not Democrats, they're damage-crats.
WATTERS: Oh, Juan, I'll let you respond too that.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Well to me, the shocking point is that Republicans don't have a message right now. So the president comes out and says this message is going to be Kavanaugh and caravan. He could have thrown in there Kaepernick and Kanye, I mean, he could have just gone full rapper --
WATTERS: Three Ks, Four Ks.
WILLIAMS: Yes, because he is right now struggling at the absence of a message. When we look at the advertising that's been put on the air, everybody thought it was going to be all about tax cuts for the Republicans. They want to say we delivered on a tax cut for the forgotten man.
What you see is Republicans are not running commercials about tax cuts because they're not having any traction with the voters. So that means that you go back to red meat, you go back to the most kind of cultural war issues you can find. And for Trump, you know, his number one hit on the road has always been immigration, build the wall, go after 'em. And that's what he's trying to do.
So, he's trying to get his base revved up for the midterms with these kind of red meat issues, but it's so far that the big absence is that Republicans don't have a strong message when they thought they were going to have a message. And I tell you even on the immigration --
WATTERS: The economy.
WILLIAMS: -- on the immigration issue, at the White House they're having big fights between John Bolton and John Kelly, the chief of staff, over why is it despite all the president has done and all of his rhetoric, we've seen a spike in terms of people coming in crosshairs (ph). They can't figure out what the right policy would be at the White House, but the want to say it's the Democrats.
This is the most incredible thing. Trump says it's the Democrats who are paying to have the caravan come, Jesse. This is ridiculous, absurd, but I guess some people might be suckers out there and buy that kind of foolishness.
WATTERS: Well, I mean people are going down there from America to help this caravan come north. That's a fact. It's been reported in an article which I'll raise to you in the next segment.
WILLIAMS: Oh, my gosh.
WATTERS: And also, I just want -- before we get to Kennedy, I want to address what you said about the tax cuts. Greg brought it up. You don't have to say tax cuts. When he says jobs, when he says the economy, when he says GDP, that's under the umbrella of everything he's done economically and that's the message that's getting across.
WILLIAMS: Yes, if that includes drive up the deficit 17 percent in one year?
WATTERS: Well, we're not running on the --
KENNEDY, GUEST CO-HOST: That is laughable, a Democrat talking about the deficit. That is incredible.
WILLIAMS: No, what's laughable is that Republicans saying, oh, deficits don't matter because it's not a Democrat in the White House. Oh, what hypocrisy?
WATTERS: I think the only deficit is the ideas is coming from the left. Go ahead.
KENNEDY: No, but Juan brings up a really good point and the problem is as an independent voter and a woman who doesn't fit neatly into any category or box, I look at freedom-killing deficit spending and it is atrocious, from both parties.
And they are so similar in that regard because it really is -- this is a thing that is going to hamstring generations and really curtail economic mobility, which is critical for things like hiring new employees and going out and spending money. And when you talk about consumer optimism, which has been one of the big drivers for the economy and for the stock market, that is completely stifled when we finally get the bill for this outrageous money that we're spending on everything.
And no one -- Paul Ryan came into power as this one key spending, you know, he was a person who neutralized spending and talked about cutting costs and the debt is now $21 trillion. When Nancy Pelosi goes out and when she is the mouthpiece for this party, and when she talks about the house is going to once again rest in Democrat hands, that riles up Republicans more than anything, and independents, because she's not a likable person.
She's not only unlikable, she's a person who doesn't have a message and you can joke that Republicans don't have a message, and you may not agree with it, but something is simple, as jobs not mobs that, resonates to people because they would much rather have jobs and money for their kids than run up against a wall of protesters who are going to call them names and spit on them and stop their car and vandalize nice cities.
GUTFELD: Can I add something about Cory Booker because we kind of skipped over it. He said that Canada is more American. Is he aware that they don't have a first amendment? I think he should go back and look it up because their freedom of speech in Canada is not absolute. Their government can pass laws that they feel are reasonable to limit your speech so, he should probably take that.
KENNEDY: Trudeau, true dat.
GUTFELD: True dat. Very good.
WATTERS: If Spartacus wants to run on Canada first, let him.
WILLIAMS: So you know why --
WATTERS: Juan, we got to go to commercial.
WILLIAMS: No, I just wanted to say that I agree with you. Pelosi is not popular especially with Republicans. They can use her in the ads. But what about Mitch McConnell saying, oh yes, if the Republicans get -- retain control, we're going after social security. Do you think that's helpful message Republicans?
WATTERS: Never speak ill of "Cocaine Mitch." We love him. Caravan chaos after migrants tried to cross the border in New Mexico. Will Trump soon be forced to stop it?
PERINO: New video of caravan of migrants streaming across the Guatemalan border into Mexico are being confronted and turned away by police. This is President Trump issues a stern warning about stopping a group before it reaches the United States.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: A lot of reasons that caravan, 4,000 people, but I just want to thank the Mexican government because they are stopping it hopefully before it ever gets to Mexico.
As you know, I'm willing to send the military to defend our southern border if necessary.
All (inaudible) because of the illegal immigration onslaught brought by the Democrats because they refused to acknowledge or to change the laws. They like it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: And earlier this morning our own Griff Jenkins alongside Border Paptrol agents apprehending illegal immigrants trying to cross into Texas.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRIFF JENKINS, FOX NEWS: We've gone deep into the brush, another group of individuals. Now, you're look at three guys that we came deep into this brush that, they have located and found.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Griff was on the "The Daily Briefing" today, Greg, and he says that the Border Patrol told him that they could apprehend about 640 illegal crossers a day, a day. That's a lot.
GUTFELD: Wow. Thanks, Griff. He does a good job since he got those contacts. Anyway, the media is going to hate this fact, but we all want the same thing, left or right, Republican or Democrats, we all want everybody to live good lives. But humans have figured out a long time ago that in order to lead good lives you have to have a process. You have to have a system.
And right now, the Democrats, they have no process, or system, they just have a goal. And when you just have a goal, it always ends badly because it has no system. So, human beings with common sense naturally reject anything that doesn't have a process. Yet, the Democrats always choose issues where process is portrayed as inhuman or cold.
So in the Kavanaugh hearing, if you yell due process, you must hate women, right. You are a pig for wanting due process. And the Khashoggi thing, if you're trying to say investigative process, they're saying there's emotional outrage, why aren't we doing something now. No, weh have an investigative process. If you look at the caravan, we have legal immigration, that is a process, but you are somehow a cold monster in all of these instances for pleading for a process.
PERINO: This, Kennedy, have you seen the pictures there we have from earlier today? This is not good for anybody including the migrants themselves who are trying to get here.
KENNEDY: And that's the thing that's lost in all of this because we're in the middle of this big mid-term fight and you have two sides who are entrenched and both trying to gain as much political favor and benefit out of these pictures, but think about the people who are here, and the reason they're on this train is because they're going to get attention.
And they think that it increases their chances if there's one giant thing that's crossing the border, it increases their chances of making it to safety and prosperity. You know (inaudible) I don't think these are bad people.
I also look at the flip side, and there is an increase in immigration, which because we have a horrible immigration system, a lot tends to be illegal immigration in this country when there is economic help, and that is a good sign. When there is a dip and when we have a recession, you don't see as many people trying to come across, but there are jobs to be had here.
The low unemployment numbers are the biggest magnet for people. The problem is Greg is absolutely right, it is all about systems. There's so much confusion. We are hearing two sides on the exact same issue, and we don't know because you hear that, you know, detention centers are full and they are letting everyone go. And if I'm hearing that and I have kids and I want to feed my family I'm going to bring them up north because there's a good chance that I'm going to be able to get in free and clear.
PERINO: Juan. looking back for the Democrats, you know, when President Trump offered them that pretty good deal, a little bit of wall funding for the dreamers and figuring out a way to do more on the border, wouldn't that have just been a good way to at least avoid this problem, this humanitarian crisis that ble to get in free and clear.
PERINO: looking back for the Democrats when President Trump offered them a pretty good deal, a little bit of wall funding for the dreamers and figuring out a way to do more on the border, wouldn't that have been a good way to avoid this problem, this humanitarian crisis that we're seeing?
WILLIAMS: I think that he had a deal for a while with Schumer but it's just that he kept upping the ante and then Schumer backed away. But nonetheless, I think there's a lot of resistance on the part of Democrats.
The idea that you would just pay off Trump with the wall, which is not an effective block in terms of stopping immigration, but just do it because he wants it as -- I think what did Pelosi say this week, it's a manhood issue?
PERINO: But a lot of Democrats actually had voted for wall funding --
WATTERS: But the previous -- and let me tell you --
WATTERS: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton.
WILLIAMS: Yes. I think --
WATTERS: -- Chuck Schumer himself.
WILLIAMS: This is a great point. In fact --
PERINO: Thank you.
WILLIAMS: -- lots of border security is put in place, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, they had deals or efforts at deals with Clinton, Obama --
PERINO: And it's not working. Griff said this morning that there are 640, Jesse, crossing day.
WATTERS: That's a lot and we can't handle it. There is some interesting stuff out here in the latest A.P. Wire, which I've been following closely all day, Dana. And you can see it on the T.V. A lot of the people that you see on the video are waving Honduran flags. Now, if you are leaving a country, you don't want to be there, why are you so proud and waving the flag?
One thing, they are also noisily demanding to be let in, ripping down fencing, and tugging at it. And then basically , you know, assaulting police officers on the other side. Are those the type of law-abiding human beings that America should welcome? I just don't think so. And also, if you read all the quotes from the A.P. about some of these migrants, they're not saying we're fleeing violence.
They're saying no one is going to stop us, quote, "We're going to the U.S.," quote and we want to go for better economic conditions. I want a construction job in L.A because if I'm in L.A. and I'm in construction, why do I want some guy to come here from another country, that they can just get paid half my money and they don't have to cover any health benefits for? I just don't understand how this can appeal to regular Americans.
WILLIAMS: You should talk to Kennedy because Kennedy made the point earlier, these aren't bad people. You want to demonize these people.
WATTERS: I'm not trying demonize them Juan. Look what happened in Europe. You saw all these people come in from Syria and now even Merkel says we regret that.
WILLIAMS: You know, you are on GOP midterm talking points. These people are so terrible. They are a threat. Let me tell you, if you're saying something insignificant talk about the fact that most illegal immigrants come in these country with visas, they overstay them, they come out in airplanes --
WATTERS: OK, Juan, why can't they come in at a port of entry? They aren't fleeing any sort of dangerous conditions. They just come in to take jobs.
PERINO: And also --
WILLIAMS: You are just picking up on Trump's talking points.
WATTERS: Juan, just came in the A.P. You're calling the A.P. fake news?
WILLIAMS: No, the Democrats -- the Democrats are paying for this, the Democrats --
WATTERS: You know what, OK, Juan. I didn't know that --
WATTERS: -- but I'm going to cite this, OK. One of these guys they just arrested was a U.S. citizen, and he works with People Without Borders. He's running the caravan, he lives in California. They flew him down to run this thing.
WILLIAMS: Oh, humanitarian concerns.
WATTERS: You're saying that no one is getting paid?
WATTERS: It's right here. And you know who the source is, the A.P.
WILLIAMS: Oh my gosh.
PERINO: The A.P. is getting a lot of attention, and we'll continue to follow that Fox News all weekend. You'll be want wanting to check it out. Next, Rosie O'Donnell renewing her feud with President Trump by saying he should be removed from office forcibly. That's ahead.
WILLIAMS: Long time Trump nemesisi, Rosie O'Donnell, turning up the heat on her simmering feud with the president. Look at this new attack ad.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ROSIE O'DONNELL, ACTOR AND ACTIVIST: We're going to ride this ship. We are going to ride the ship. There's no way that he's going to prevail because he's evil. He's dark. When he was elected what I wrote on twitter was we should impose martial law until we make sure the Russians weren't involved in the final tallies of the vote.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And Bob Mueller has indicted 13 Russians for election meddling.
O'DONNELL: And people were like martial law, what's wrong with you. You're a lunatic.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He wants to send the military to the border so.
O'DONNELL: I would have send the military to the White House to get him.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, I don't think I can top that, but it sounds like a pretty good idea.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Greg, send the military to the White House.
GUTFELD: OK, this puts me in a situation where I have to defend Rosie O'Donnell, which is a first. I will admit that I did not watch MSNBC. I found that story on a website, a media website, right? And they portrayed it as thought she meant it. That the headline was she says send the army into the White House. And you open it up and you can you realize she's obviously making a joke.
This happened also to you, Kennedy. You made a joke yesterday, the same website did the same thing to you and said you want to do this, and it was joke. And so what I've realized is that the media now, they're becoming like the teacher -- the kid who runs to the teacher to tell on Bobby for making a joke.
The entire media is like that now. They've become like a nation of finks and tattle tales like whether it's media matters, Stelter, beady-eyed (ph), whoever. They're humorless hall monitors and it's just like whenever I go, oh, I'm looking forward to watching this to see her like say something terrible. And then you realize, this is just a joke. It's just a joke.
KENNEDY: It's insane. Now you can spend 30 seconds making your case and then say something completely absurd --
KENNEDY: -- that is clearly -- and they only abstract that one thing with no context and it's perfect for lazy audience who just --
WILLIAMS: Wait a second, you guys are destroying my block.
WILLIAMS: This block is supposed to be about that terrible Rosie O'Donnell attacking Jesse's favorite guy.
WATTERS: Juan, you have destroyed plenty of our blocks.
WILLIAMS: Anyway, you see here --
WATTERS: You know, I'll play ball, okay.
GUTFELD: She was dead serious.
WATTERS: And also -- she's also, you know, to be fair, she's talking about martial law and she was furious about that. So, sending in the military is not a stretch from talking about martial law.
I just have to say, Trump is blessed with the best enemies. When you look at Crooked, when you look at Pocahontas and Rosie, they pop up at the perfect times and, you know, say the dumbest things; and it gets the right all fired up.
KENNEDY: All this week, in fact.
WATTERS: All this week. And right when the time, when the left is saying "We're not crazy. We're not a bunch of mobs. You know, we respect the rule of law." You have someone like her go out there and say, "Let's send the military into the White House." It doesn't get any better, like, from that.
WILLIAMS: Well, you know, Dana, the thing is even with his convenient enemies and, apparently, this fires up his base. You see the reaction that Jesse had to Rosie. There are people who are upset, says, "Hey, but this week, he's out there talking about Stormy as 'horseface.' He's the one that's attacked --"
PERINO: That was last week.
WILLIAMS: Well, it seems like it's all the same week. And then, of course --
PERINO: Was it this week? I don't know.
WILLIAMS: With Rosie -- you never know with Trump, right?
PERINO: I know. I can't keep track (ph) of days.
WILLIAMS: But anyway, with Rosie, this brings back, you know, he attacked her. I think he said she was -- looked like a pig or --
PERINO: I know, I know. This is, like -- we could -- this is so not satisfying to just talk about, like, the words all the time. Yes, like, for example, I don't love it, that the president said, "Oh, Gianforte, he body-slammed a reporter, like he could -- that helps him in Montana." I don't love that. And also because Gianforte actually apologized for it. And he was chagrinned about it. He was embarrassed by it. He got in trouble for it. He said, "I'm sorry, never do it again." He apologized to the reporter.
Like, we have -- one, we have great stuff happening in this country, off of some, like, really difficult problems that we need to deal with. We already talked about the deficit. We talked about immigration. It's not good for us to have a situation where we're fighting over the people that are coming in the caravan. No, OK, look, we should have a system. That should not be a partisan thing.
And to argue about something that Donald Trump said about Rosie O'Donnell four years ago, three years ago, I just find it completely unsatisfying and unnecessary.
WATTERS: Dana's not satisfied.
WILLIAMS: I think Dana is right.
PERINO: Thank you.
WILLIAMS: I just wish we had a better level of discourse in politics in the country.
KENNEDY: You can't -- no, I'm sorry, Juan. You can't do that. Hillary Clinton said you cannot do that until Democrats win the House. And then it can be civil again, and that will be so nice and fun.
WILLIAMS: All right.
PERINO: Especially when she runs again in 2020. How did we not do that block today?
GUTFELD: I predicted -- who predicted that? I predicated that, what, six months ago. She's running. Slowly, I might ed, but she's running.
PERINO: She's no Kenyan, Greg.
WILLIAMS: Dana, on your point, I think that joke about body-slamming the reporter, just badly timed given what's going on.
PERINO: I don't disagree with you. But I also think that --
GUTFELD: What does the bad timing tell you? It tells you he doesn't care. Get over it.
WILLIAMS: He doesn't care about -- he doesn't care about people being dismembered?
GUTFELD: He doesn't care about the context.
GUTFELD: He's at a rally telling jokes.
WILLIAMS: Oh, boy.
KENNEDY: Juan, he didn't dismember him. He was untoward, but he didn't --
WILLIAMS: No, no. I'm talking about -- no.
KENNEDY: I thought you were talking about Gianforte.
WILLIAMS: No. No, I'm talking about Khashoggi, the guy over in Turkey that -- the Saudi guy. All right.
KENNEDY: An awful story, Juan. Why would you bring that up right now?
WILLIAMS: Thank you, Kennedy.
Nikki Haley zings Elizabeth Warren over her Native American ancestry. That's next, for your entertainment, on "The Five."
(PAT BENATAR: "WE ARE YOUNG")
KENNEDY: Fire with fire. Outgoing U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley roasting Elizabeth Warren over her DNA debacle at a charity dinner last night, very satisfying. Watch.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
NIKKI HALEY, OUTGOING U.S. AMBASSADOR TO U.N.: Actually, the president called me this morning and gave me really good advice. He said if I get stick stuck for laughs, just brag about his accomplishments. It really killed at the U.N.
Last year you went with Paul Ryan, who's a Boy Scout. And that's fine, but a little boring. So this year you wanted to spice things up again, right? I get it. You wanted an Indian woman, but Elizabeth Warren failed her DNA test. Actually when the president found out that I was Indian-American, he asked me if I way from the same tribe as Elizabeth Warren.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KENNEDY: That is a great joke on so many levels.
It turns out no laughing matter for Democrats, according to Current Affairs Magazine. The writer writes, quote, "This stupid issue would dominate any contest with Donald Trump. It would never end. It would prevent us from ever actually discussing any serious issues. It would be like the G-D e- mail scandal all over. And Warren has shown that she would handle it badly. At this point, I do not see how she can be a serious presidential contender." And then added, "Hmpf."
So Jesse, is this a winning issue for Republicans, and a losing issue for Elizabeth Warren, who really thought she was putting this baby to bed?
WATTERS: Yes. Republicans want Elizabeth Warren to run. Look at these headlines. This is in The Huffington Post. "Elizabeth Warren has just proved she can't beat Trump in 2020." This is from Dana Milbank, uber- liberal, at The Washington Post. He says she's unfit to lead. And then mentioned her cookbook, which Warren wrote in the '80s -- ready for the title? -- "Pow-Wow Chow." Get it? "Pow-Wow Chow"? And it's a collection of recipes from families from the Five Tribes.
She calls herself a Cherokee. That's her profiting off of this, Juan. And it also notes that three of the five recipes were plagiarized from The New York Times and Better Homes and Gardens.
So she plagiarized her ancestry and her recipes. It's a slam-dunk for Republicans the more she's in the spotlight.
And I think Haley is funny. That line killed. And the liberals that can't laugh about that, like Chaffetz did a little thing where he was posing in front of, I think, a wooden Native American statue at Disney World. And she was, yes, Pocahontas. Here was Elizabeth Warren. He was crucified. You guys got to be able to take a joke, Juan.
WILLIAMS: I love that joke. You know the one I liked so much?
WILLIAMS: Where she said that -- she said the president didn't know the difference between someone coming from India and a Native American Indian.
WATTERS: That's a knee-slapper.
KENNEDY: That's why it was funny, because it worked on several levels.
WILLIAMS: That's why I thought it was funny.
KENNEDY: Juan, you know what? Jokes are funnier when you have to explain them.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yes. But I must say -- I must say that I find it so intriguing that Republicans have such an intense response to Elizabeth Warren. I guess she must be a threat.
KENNEDY: OK. But, Juan, what Jesse is pointing out --
WATTERS: -- humorous, Juan.
KENNEDY: What Jesse's pointing out, and I think this is a really important moment, because they're already looking way past the midterms, is the liberal media is attacking Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton. Are these titans of literacy actually misogynists?
WILLIAMS: Hmm, misogynists. You mean the New York Times for writing an editorial saying, "Hillary Clinton, pipe down"?
KENNEDY: A big fat distraction?
WILLIAMS: Yes, but she is a distraction. But the thing is, nobody is saying that she's not a key voice for Democrats, and in fact, for all of Americans. I think she is a critical voice.
PERINO: How did we start talking about this?
WILLIAMS: The question is, if you're talking 2020, do you really want her to run again? I don't see it. But apparently, with what we're hearing from one of her top aides, is, hey, she got a lot of votes.
GUTFELD: I think that -- I just want to go back, Joe Biden should be very happy right now, Kamala Harris should be very happy right now. Bernie should be happy. They should be sending flowers to Donald Trump for pressuring Liz to go get that DNA test.
But I think we're missing, probably, the big sins that were brought up in that article. They aren't small. She was labeled a woman of color to satisfy a college's need. So once you satisfied that need, that hole was filled. That meant somebody else was bumped out. So she actually stole the place from somebody.
Then after she did that -- and this is the killer -- she claims she was accepted on her merits, which is a way of distancing herself from the very people, from the very people who wanted to get that space. She's saying, "I'm taking your space, but on my merits." I mean, that's really grotesque.
She is a fool. She's a very bad person for that.
KENNEDY: Yes, I don't know that she recovers from this.
GUTFELD: No, it's done.
KENNEDY: Because Greg brings up Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. And, you know, Joe Biden keeps flirting with the idea of running, and we've talked about Hillary Clinton. I think if Biden gets in and Sanders gets in and Warren, Hillary has no choice. She's jumping into the --
PERINO: The only thing I was going to mention that -- so Biden is doing interviews. Elizabeth Warren is doing this. Cory Booker is down in South Carolina talking about how America is now not as good as Canada. What did Kamala Harris do this week? She announced a big plan for a huge middle- class tax cut. And she's talking about figuring out a way to get you an immediate rebate of $500 so that you would be able to help take care of your family.
GUTFELD: That's -- that's crumbs. Crumbs, $500.
PERINO: Five hundred a month.
KENNEDY: But to Dana's point, she's also the only one who's actually come up with a presidential strategy.
KENNEDY: She's also the only one who said we're going to focus on the southeast, and then we're coming back to the West Coast.
PERINO: She's not out there doing interviews all the time.
WILLIAMS: Can I make one last point before we go?
GUTFELD: Fan mail, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Steve Bannon, amazingly, said that Hillary Clinton is a lion in winter and that she can take a punch and that she's Trump's No. 1 rival. I never thought --
GUTFELD: I agree. I think that if she runs --
WILLIAMS: You agree with Steve Bannon? I was surprised.
KENNEDY: Now she's mad.
WATTERS: That's reverse psychology.
PERINO: Yes, maybe.
KENNEDY: He wants her to run. Wouldn't that be the greatest thing in the world?
GUTFELD: It's like "Rocky 2."
WILLIAMS: "Rocky 2."
KENNEDY: Fan mail. It's like "Rocky IV."
GUTFELD: It's like "Rocky IV."
KENNEDY: All right. Don't go anywhere. "Fan Mail Friday" is next.
GUTFELD: Call it "Predator 3."
GUTFELD: Elevator music.
"Fan Mail Friday." You have questions, we have answers. That's how it works.
Question from doncass16 -- I guess there were 15 other doncass. All right. "What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?" -- Juan.
WILLIAMS: Can I get a warm bath?
GUTFELD: That's a good question.
KENNEDY: Did I get a head?
KENNEDY: Because they freeze your head.
GUTFELD: They do, they do.
WATTERS: I'd say who's president? Because it's probably going to be someone crazy, like Mylie Cyrus or someone that you'd never think.
GUTFELD: It would be another -- it could be another long line of Trumps, right?
WATTERS: Barron Trump, president?
GUTFELD: Barron Trump's kid.
WATTERS: Barron Trump's kid? OK.
GUTFELD: Yes. I can't do math that well.
WILLIAMS: Maybe they just freeze the existing Trump.
GUTFELD: That would be great, because then we'd have him forever, Dana. What would you -- what would be your first question?
PERINO: I'd ask, "Is FOX News still No. 1 in the ratings"?
GUTFELD: Well done. Somebody's getting a bonus.
WATTERS: Is that a question?
PERINO: That's a question.
GUTFELD: I would -- I would say, "Hey, Walt, get me my jacket."
WATTERS: I don't get it.
GUTFELD: Walt Disney.
KENNEDY: What if they could reanimate other presidents? What if they could reanimate Lincoln?
GUTFELD: I don't know. I find him really annoying.
PERINO: He didn't even win the popular vote.
GUTFELD: Yes. That is true! The Electoral College.
PERINO: I know. That's why we have to have the Electoral College.
WATTERS: Another commonality between Trump and Lincoln.
GUTFELD: Question from Frenchieworld. "What is --"
GUTFELD: "What is the thing you have been meaning to try but just haven't gotten around to?" -- Kennedy. We were talking about it in the break.
KENNEDY: What were we -- no. Ayahuasca? No. I would be terrified to try Peruvian hallucinogenics.
GUTFELD: What if we were doing it together?
KENNEDY: I would end up being a street mumbler. You know what would happen? You would achieve, like, enlightenment. You'd write best-selling books. You'd have seminars. You'd replace Tony Robbins.
WATTERS: Greg's already enlightened with a best-seller.
KENNEDY: And I would be, like, a half-nude mumbler, and they wouldn't -- I'd be so stinky they wouldn't want me in jail. It would be a bummer.
GUTFELD: You know what? I think -- I think you're giving that plant a bad rap. I don't know.
Dana, what drug -- no, I mean, what is the thing you have been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to? Skydiving, maybe?
PERINO: No. You know, you ask that question, I realize, wow, have I --
KENNEDY: With Troy.
GUTFELD: Call Troy?
KENNEDY: I've really become, like you, I don't try anything.
GUTFELD: That is true. I try nothing. I don't try -- except traveling --
PERINO: Last week I cooked. Last weekend I made mushroom caps, I burned myself. It hurt so bad. I've been wearing a Band-Aid all week.
GUTFELD: Oh, my God. Life is rough.
PERINO: I know.
WATTERS: Mushroom cap injuries, they'll get you every time.
GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse, you're adventurous.
WATTERS: I'm going to get around to writing a book, I think, pretty soon. I've been meaning to get to it.
GUTFELD: You have a million titles with the last name "Watters."
WATTERS: I know. Any ideas?
GUTFELD: Well, I gave you one. I gave you one two weeks ago, "Rising Watters."
WATTERS: "Rising Watters," I like it. I like it, Gutfeld. Do I owe you any royalty?
GUTFELD: No. I'll write the forward, though.
WATTERS: OK. I don't know if I want that.
PERINO: You do.
WATTERS: Probably I do.
WILLIAMS: I'm pretty ordinary, but I think Dana's beat me to the punch. She tells me she's going on a safari next year.
PERINO: Yes, but I've already done that.
WILLIAMS: Yes, but I'd like to -- I've been around --
WATTERS: Multiple safaris, mushroom caps.
GUTFELD: I guess I'm going to try -- I would like to try being selfish.
KENNEDY: Very brave.
GUTFELD: I have no desire to try anything, as you said, unless you're going somewhere, like you're going to a country you've never been. But even then, I'm like, can I just look at this? Like, when you look at countries in pictures, you imagine it great, and then you get there and you just want to go home.
PERINO: No, that's not true.
GUTFELD: It is for me.
GUTFELD: There's nothing better than my bedroom.
KENNEDY: Bora Bora, though.
GUTFELD: What -- I'm going to skip this question, because Juan never saw the movie.
All right. "If you joined the circus, what would you perform?" -- Dana.
PERINO: The trapeze.
GUTFELD: Hmm, interesting. Quick -- they're telling me quick. Like, how much quicker can you get?
WATTERS: Lion tamer.
GUTFELD: Lion tamer, like Lyin' Ted.
WATTERS: Lyin' tamer.
GUTFELD: Lyin' tamer. Juan.
WILLIAMS: You know those guys on the motorcycles that go faster and faster and then they synchronize it? I think that's pretty amazing.
KENNEDY: Sadly, I'd be the bearded lady.
WILLIAMS: Are you on that Mexican drug again?
KENNEDY: Yes. Ayahuasca. But unfortunately, the side effects are --
GUTFELD: I would like to be one of those clowns that wears a barrel and nothing else, and they run around. They're being chased by another clown. And then they're the guys that after the circus, they go behind the trailer and get wasted and scare everybody.
PERINO: Sounds great.
GUTFELD: It is. That's my -- you know, when I retire I'm going to be a circus clown. Because I'm kind of halfway there.
KENNEDY: Like in a clown car, because you're good at packing? Really small.
GUTFELD: I am. "One More Thing" -- all right, enough. "One More Thing" up next.
WATTERS: Before we get to "One More Thing," a quick programming note. Be sure to tune in Monday. We're taking the show on the road to Dallas, Texas, to talk about the midterms and a whole lot more. Don't miss it.
All right. "One More Thing" -- Greg.
GUTFELD: You felt it, didn't you?
All right. I want you to take a look at this dog. Take a look at this dog. Look how transfixed that dog is. That dog is absolutely just, you know, transfixed by whatever is on that television.
WATTERS: "G.G. Show" right there.
GUTFELD: That's exactly what he's doing, Jesse. "The Greg Gutfeld Show," tomorrow night. I've got Dr. Drew Pinsky, I've got the comedian, Jimmy Faria. I've got Kat and Tyrus. It's October 20, 10 p.m. It's going to be a great show.
Now it's time for this.
GRAPHIC: Greg's Green Room Adventure
GUTFELD: "Greg's Green Room Adventure." I never thought this would happen to me in my lifetime. But just watch this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I know, I never thought it would be part of my job.
Can you hear me? Did you film that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I just said that's Kennedy filmed me pulling Terry Bradshaw's boots off. If my 10-year-old self could see this, he would wet his pants.
GUTFELD: I almost did and I'm in my early 30s.
KENNEDY: I was going to say. Are you sure you didn't?
WATTERS: I just can't believe Terry was the first one of that crew to show up to work. I mean, he was there an hour before everybody else. Who knew?
All right. "Watters' World" this weekend, we have Eric Trump. Eric Trump's the son of President Trump, for those of you guys who don't know.
Also, you know those witches that are going to hex Kavanaugh this weekend? Well, one of the witches entered "Watters' World." Here's a sneak peek.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, there will be effigies, photos, graveyard dirt, coffin nails, open flames, the whole bit.
WATTERS: Whoa, whoa. So will an effigy of Kavanaugh be burned by the witches?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
WATTERS: OK. And a picture of Kavanaugh will be burned?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: OK, and I made it out alive, barely. There's no hexes put on me. I'm already cursed.
GUTFELD: Live together, I hear.
WATTERS: Yes, witches and Watters.
There you go.
WILLIAMS: Another one.
GUTFELD: "Warlocks and Watters."
WATTERS: There it is, Gutfeld. All right. Juan.
WILLIAMS: All right. You know everything is bigger in Texas where we're heading. That's the case with two tornadoes that hit Hill County before a wedding last weekend. It left the outdoor venue swamped, very muddy. So here's what happened when the bride started to walk down the aisle.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(GROOM GIVES BRIDE PIGGYBACK RIDE DOWN MUDDY AISLE)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: So as you can see, the mud did not stop Twiz and Nicole Stanley. He saved her wedding dress with a piggyback ride down the muddy aisle. Nicole says her new husband rescued her many times before, in many ways. But on wedding day, she said he was truly her hero. Quote, "a knight in shining armor. My hero."
GUTFELD: That's so sexist. Why did she need somebody like a knight to save her?
PERINO: I know. I mean, Keira Knightley and what was it, Kristen Bell?
GUTFELD: Yes. What do they think of it?
WATTERS: Yes. What kind of name is Twiz?
PERINO: I am -- I'm just going to say that I'm going -- I'm not going to do my "One More thing." Dallas on Monday, I'm going to be there for "The Five." "The Daily Briefing" is going to be there, too. You don't want to miss it. We have a couple of good political debates to have. And also, these guys are going to join me, which will be fun.
GUTFELD: Are we?
WATTERS: I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
KENNEDY: You know, breakfast is a friend, Jesse, wouldn't you agree? It is so important; it is the way to start your day. And thank you for being a breakfast friend.
Fans of "The Golden Girls" will be delighted to hear that there is now a "Golden Girls" cereal. It's being sold for $7.99 a box at Target. It is flying off the shelves. So if you've ever wanted Dorothy, Blanche, Rose --
GUTFELD: It's blue.
KENNEDY: -- and Sophia in your mouth all at the same time, this is your lucky day. People are selling them on eBay. And Funco, the company who has manufactured this breakfast treat, they've said they're not making any more. So if you see these at Target, you better get one today.
GUTFELD: It's like bitcoin.
GUTFELD: For people who want to be fat.
WATTERS: I thought Golden Grahams was already a thing for them. No?
Anyway, all right. That's it for us tonight. Be sure to follow us on Instagram and Twitter and all that stuff. Live from Dallas on Monday. "Special Report" up next.
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