Trump unloads on Democrats over impeachment inquiry

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President Trump unloads on Democrats over impeachment inquiry

Trump rails against Democrats and tells Republicans to get tougher; reaction and analysis on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 22, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Dagen McDowell, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, this is “The Five.”

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: It is.

PERINO: Top Democrats now wondering if the current crop of candidates can beat President Trump in 2020, according to a new report anxious establishment party leaders are musing out loud about big names jumping into the race, quote, would Hillary Clinton get in the contributors wondered, and how about Michael R. Bloomberg, the former New York mayor? One person even mused whether Mitchell Obama would consider a late entry. Bret Baier is here to discuss it all. He's the author of a brand new book, Three Days at the Brink. And now you have all this time to talk about your book. I'm just kidding.

GUTFELD: Is that just a coincidence that you just happened to be here with a book?

BRET BAIER, ANCHOR: I just happened to be here. Oh, hi, Greg.

PERINO: Oh, hi.

GUTFELD: Hello, Bret. How are you?

BAIER: Otherwise.

GUTFELD: You're my Newman.

BAIER: Viewers like a different toss. They're not sure about the Seinfeld thing.

GUTFELD: You think the toss isn't working?

PERINO: I think it's funny.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: I think it's really funny.

GUTFELD: When are you going to have me and Jesse on the all-star panel?

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Yes, seriously. I'm waiting for the phone call.

BAIER: Bring it.

GUTFELD: If it's not we're going to start our own non-Bret Baier hall of fame panel.

BAIER: OK.

GUTFELD: No Bret -- it will be Bret Baier free. Yeah, just me, Jesse, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus.

BAIER: It will be better than the Bret Baier that you had on set.

GUTFELD: Yes, that is true.

PERINO: That was a cute little bear. You're a cute bear, too. OK, so --

GUTFELD: Whoa.

(CROSSTALK)

BAIER: Is this how this works?

WATTERS: Yes.

BAIER: OK.

PERINO: Calling H.R.

GUTFELD: You just objectified a fair and balanced journalist.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: What were we going to talk about? Oh, yeah --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Do you hear this amongst Democrats or they think --

BAIER: I do.

PERINO: -- holy smokes we don't have anybody here that can beat Trump?

BAIER: There's a lot of anxiety. There's a ton of anxiety. And you hear Michael Bloomberg's name. Real thought provoking Democrats saying if Elizabeth Warren is the nominee, Donald Trump is the nominee, that maybe a -- Mike Bloomberg gets in. The problem is you have to get on balance within the next couple of weeks, actually, in a lot of these states. And the logistics just don't work.

WATTERS: Yeah. Well, I know why donors are worried. If you look at Trump's base, it hasn't cracked. The economy is strong. And none of these people on the Democrat side had any knockout power. None of them has tapped into any movement the way Trump did. None of them has a cultive personality like Barack Obama. No one running on a dynasty like W. or -- even has a national machine like Hillary.

So, if you look at the top guy, he's creating Joe Biden. The two socialists can't get a crowd outside of New York City. And the RNC's carpet bombing the Democrats on Facebook. So then you hear people, like -- you know, if Bloomberg wants to light half a billion dollars on fire, I just think that's landslide city. I don't think he's the name.

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: You know, you guys are typically very cynical, skeptical about anything in the New York Times. And the idea that the New York Times says, oh, boy, people are so nervous they're running to get John Kerry, I just think -- I don't hear anybody say --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: How about Michelle Obama? What about Oprah? You know what? Go back in history, 2016, people -- remember, why is it -- to Joe Biden get in? Maybe Hillary is not the ticket. Oh, go back, Bill Clinton. Oh yeah, let's get somebody else. Remember that was Bill Clinton you think was so great. People were saying let's get somebody else. This happens every time.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, HOST: Big old Democrats, as my dad would say, with a lot of money said that this is just liberal spin coming out of New York. He doesn't buy it. I'll tell you why, because Mike Bloomberg would have to de-grump before he'd ever run for president. He has to do like a 30 day jerk cleanse. And then, Michelle Obama, look at the photos of her from the inauguration in 2017, she's shooting side eye at everybody, not just Trump but Hillary Clinton. She couldn't wait to get away from those people. She is not -- she's selling out arenas, has the bestselling memoir. She's not going anywhere near him.

GUTFELD: Meanwhile, though, Hillary -- Hillary is like that person that's outside your condo waiting for you to get buzzed in so they can come right in behind.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: She's going to get inside the building --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: That's not allowed.

GUTFELD: That is not allowed. And you don't know the polite way to tell people that they can't do that when they come in to your building because it could be like, oh, what, are you saying I'm a thief? Maybe you are a thief, we don't know. But she -- her problem is if she enters and she still not number one, that is humiliating. She's got to be number one or it's nothing. But if she enters and Liz is still in front of her, that's pretty sad.

BAIER: Don't you think that the Hillary Clinton thing.

WILLIAMS: Bill Weld -- Bill Weld who's got 16 percentage -- Trump right now. So I think we should just flip-flop this and say, huh, if Trump isn't the nominee, who might the Republicans nominate?

PERINO: The RNC is not wasting any time. They put out a new ad, not talking about personalities but talking about real big issues, including socialism. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: These socialist promoters, they should go there and see the reality of what's going on.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is how Venezuelans spend most of their time now in line, not for luxuries, but basics.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They focus on how to maintain in the power. And if we have to maintain the power, we have to control everybody.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Effective ad?

GUTFELD: Very much so. We've talk about this all the time that there's a disconnect between the modern -- I guess, the modern millennial political activist and what's going on around the world. Being a socialist in the freest, greatest capitalist economy of all time, that's like being a snake in the Garden of Eden. Thought I'd put a little biblical reference in there.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Have you read the bible lately, Dana?

PERINO: Every day.

GUTFELD: Thank God.

PERINO: I actually -- indeed. Indeed. Bret, you are a student and an author of history.

BAIER: Yes.

PERINO: And the president said this back at the State of the Union in January of last year. He said this -- we will never be a socialist country, and he's trying to lay it out -- so here's the choice that you have in front of you.

BAIER: And I think it's an effective ad. Not only that, but the Trump campaign has a ton of money.

PERINO: So much money.

BAIER: They'll be spending money left and right. They're going to try to turn a place like Minnesota that they really think they have a chance at. And this ad is effective especially when you have a couple of candidates who are leading, who have some progressive ideas that verge on Democratic socialism.

PERINO: They call themselves socialists.

WATTERS: Yeah, I thought the most effective part of the ad were the lines, because Americans hate lines. And if you live in a socialist country you're in line for healthcare, you're line for food, you're line for pretty much everything --

GUTFELD: You're in line for lines.

WATTERS: All right. And they've showed all the chaos on the street that just causes bad traffic. If you run on socialism, creates long lines and bad traffic. I think that's a home run.

WILLIAMS: Really? Do you ever drive in New York because long line --

WATTERS: Yes. Thanks, de Blasio.

WILLIAMS: Oh, that's it. I forgot. I forgot. New York is not a capitalist city.

WATTERS: Yeah. You know, I call one person I get all the food I need delivered right to the house.

WILLIAMS: Well, look at that, in the middle of all -- New York socialism, huh.

WATTERS: Yeah, seamless, Juan. Seamless is not socialism.

WILLIAMS: Here's the problem with that ad. You know, the ad is effective for people who want to buy it. But the reality is that Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren are not socialists. Bernie Sanders calls himself a Democratic socialist, but not a socialist. I mean, these people --

GUTFELD: You're slicing it too thin.

WILLIAMS: -- take control of the means of production in the United States.

PERINO: And Elizabeth Warren says she's capitalist.

WILLIAMS: But the point is --

MCDOWELL: Which is a big lie.

WILLIAMS: The point is that if you look at young people in the country, I think young people are open to the idea we need to do better with healthcare. Guess what? Most Americans agree.

GUTFELD: I'm not looking at young people.

WILLIAMS: Helping young people pay for their college tuition, most Americans agree. We need to tax the rich more so that they pay their fair share --

(CROSSTALK)

MCDOWELL: Most people don't want their private insurance taken away from them, period. Seventy percent of people who get employer sponsored insurance like it or satisfied with it. I have on my phone a photo I took this morning of a line outside of the post office because it was 9:35 and they wouldn't open the door.

GUTFELD: Wow.

MCDOWELL: That is what -- that's all you have to remember --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Jesse with the most excellent point. OK, let's talk about your book for a moment. It's called -- it's written by Bret Baier and it is Three Days at the Brink, FDR daring gamble to win World War II. This is a great narrative history about a pretty pivotal moment in our history right before World War II.

BAIER: We could have lost the war. And FDR, Churchill and Stalin get together at this secret meeting in Tehran, largely overlooked in history, and they've planned D-day. And had that meeting not happened, had it all not come together, we could be speaking German on THE FIVE.

WATTERS: Because Dana is doing her show when Limbaugh comes on, I'd like to just ask you to tell her the story that you told on Rush Limbaugh's show about how they got to Tehran and how crazy that was.

BAIER: It was. So FDR gets on the USS Iowa, the newest battle ship in the U.S. navy, and they head over in u boat infested waters, and they have a training exercise and a torpedo goes off and aims towards the USS Iowa. They barely miss and they -- it explodes about 1,000 feet away.

WATTERS: Wow.

BAIER: FDR is on the bridge clapping because he thinks it's part of the exercise. But they almost took down the 32nd president.

WATTERS: Wow.

WILLIAMS: You know what interest me is the relationship between FDR and someone as, you know, history views as such an impressive force as Stalin, because you have in the book the relationship with -- FDR is basically embracing him.

BAIER: He's bending over backwards to try to get Stalin to sign on, and Churchill is warning about it. They obviously win the war, but they lost the peace, because after FDR dies, Stalin is emboldened and that's the start of the cold war.

GUTFELD: Bret, two just quick things I want to point out. I'm not in the index and I'm not in the acknowledgments.

BAIER: That's true. But I want to thank you publicly for all the help that you gave me on this book.

GUTFELD: I guess that will do. That will do. I think I am an inspiration for this book.

PERINO: And there's also the young reader's guide.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

BAIER: So that's perfect.

GUTFELD: That's great for me.

WATTERS: There you go.

PERINO: But that was the -- an important thing for you to have something for --

BAIER: It is.

PERINO: -- younger people because you're afraid that they're not learning their history.

BAIER: Yeah. I mean, civics is lost, I think, and we need to bring it back, so young reader's edition 2, 9 to 14. So my sons, 12 and 9, are reading it or they should be.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: They'll do an oral book report.

GUTFELD: Where you going?

BAIER: I'm going to Chicago tomorrow, then I'm going to Atlanta, then I'm going to Naples, then I'm going to California. I'm going to do the show every day, so I will hear the toss from you.

PERINO: Are you going to New Castle, Wyoming?

BAIER: I'm not. Should I?

PERINO: It's a great location -- yeah. That's where my family --

GUTFELD: Are you doing any shows that are going to be like --

BAIER: Like?

GUTFELD: I don't know. Troubling or --

BAIER: Vegas shows --

GUTFELD: No, I mean --

PERINO: He did CBC this morning.

GUTFELD: Are you doing The View?

BAIER: No.

GUTFELD: No, you're not doing The View?

BAIER: I'm not doing The View.

GUTFELD: Are going to do Joe Rogan?

BAIER: No. You know, these shows --

GUTFELD: Who are your P.R. people?

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Jesse said you were on Limbaugh, so what was that like?

BAIER: It was great. He's very generous. And he was -- and that's a rare event. And there was a historical conversation.

WILLIAMS: Believe me, that's pretty good.

BAIER: Yeah.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Good moderate liberal, by the way.

WILLIAMS: Moderate liberal, is that right?

PERINO: All right, we've got to go. Bret, thank you. And we love talking to you at the end of the show. President Trump hits out on impeachment as Democrats slows things down to maximize political impact. We'll have it for you next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: President Trump igniting a firestorm calling the impeachment inquiry a, quote, lynching. Democrats, even some Republicans furious and they say the president has crossed the line. The White House is pushing back against the criticism. All of this comes as Trump ramps up his attacks on both parties.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: These are dishonest people. But when they say the impeachment now begins, Sean, this was the day of the inauguration.

I think the Republicans should get tougher. Look, I think that the Democrats are not good politicians. I think they have lousy policy.

I think it's a travesty for our country. They're doing such a bad thing to our country, and that's because the Democrats are vicious and they stick together.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: A new report says Democrats are slowing the impeachment timeline. They want to sharpen their public case. It's now possible the inquiry could extend into the Christmas season. Jesse, let me give you a choice here. Trump knows what he's doing and he's distracting people by using a powerful racially charged word like lynching or, two, he doesn't know the history, doesn't know that thousands of people were lynched in this country and, you know, principally black men used to control women -- intimidate them.

WATTERS: I don't know. I know it's a racially charged word. It's very painful to a lot of people in this country. It's not a word that I would have used, but it's just too loaded. But, I know what he's saying, everybody gets the analogy about impeachment that they're doing this like a mob action in the middle of the night without due process rights. Everyone has reported it. The Democrats have admitted it. The witnesses can't be seen by Republicans. You can't see evidence. You can't even see transcripts. It's all been done in the dark. That's what he was trying to say.

And it just bothers me that -- you know, yesterday on the show we talk about a Democrat comparing Trump to the Nazis, calling him Hitler. Democrats all last year said we're running concentration camps at the border. I think Kamala Harris said Jussie Smollett was the victim of a modern day lynching. Hillary Clinton said the Trump rallies remind her of lynchings. Cuomo, just said last week on a radio show, the N-word. Not to mention Bill Maher said the N-word last year. And I do believe it was Barack Obama who just endorsed someone in black face in Canada.

But the point is for Democrats to get on their high horse today and lecture other people about racially charged rhetoric or historically insensitive language is so preposterous. And they need to look themselves in the mirror and just ask themselves am I a total hypocrite? Because I don't care when my side uses this language or when I myself use this language. I only try to weaponized this language to hurt the opposing party. And that's all that's going on here.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, Dagen, to part of what Jesse was saying, which was a powerful argument, lynching is not a constitutional process but impeachment is a constitutional process by which, you know, the Congress holds a powerful executive to account for any kind of wrongdoing, so why the analogy?

MCDOWELL: He uses strong language and, again, it's a distraction.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, I understand that.

MCDOWELL: I mean -- yeah, it's offensive. It bothers people. It bothers me. I grew up in the rural south. I heard firsthand accounts of lynchings. Nevertheless, he traffics in outrageousness and people are taking the bait, number one. Number two, what people are outraged by is the most formidable constitutional power of then declaring war is an impeachment process. And they're trampling on the Democrats are -- Democratic norms and the institutions of this country, and will come to bite them in the you know what.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, you know, Dana, today there was something to be -- for the president to distract people from, which was Bill Taylor, the U.S. ambassador, went before the House, and according to the news reports, because we haven't seen exactly what he had to say, he said that there was evidence of a quid pro quo.

PERINO: Right. So I think that the Democrats keep having -- every day they have a new witness, and then they leak out little bits of the testimony, and you have members of Congress that are in there, mostly Democrats, they come out and they say, whoa, I am -- I have never seen anything like it. It's unbelievable. And then they leak out these little pieces of information. That's why the president's process point is one that I think is pretty effective.

The Democrats saying that they want to -- that they might carry this on. I think it does two things for Democrats. It distracts their base into thinking that they're being tough on the president. And it also prevents their base from realizing, oh, my gosh, having the House is not enough. You don't have enough power to actually do anything if you only have the House. So, those are two things that work in favor of the Democrats to keep this process going, but they do run a risk that people will just get tired of it.

They're not -- they're not able to pay attention. And the selective leaking out every day of little bits of testimony, maybe it was explosive but how would we ever know if they do it all behind closed doors?

GUTFELD: And, Greg, I wanted to ask you about something that Jesse said. I thought -- you know, Jesse was making the case that, hey, this hypocrisy on the part of some of these Democrats because, you know, sometimes they used words like lynching, right?

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: But the thing is, lots of people see Trump as having a racially unsettling past. What do you think?

GUTFELD: Yeah -- I mean, you left out Jerry Nadler, actually, used the same terminology when he was discussing Bill Clinton, referring to that. Oh, thank you for having that up there like. And the effort to impeach Clinton, he compared it to a lynch mob. So everybody kind of does this. Analogies are never perfect. But, you know what the thing is -- here's the thing. You know, can you read Donald Trump's mind that he meant to offend blacks? Do you actually think that that's what he's doing? Do you think this was an intentional ploy to bring up a disgraceful part of our era? We could just ask him. We could ask -- instead of relying on the media to mind read him, why don't you ask him.

I'll tell you this right now. Trump is a terrible racist because you have record unemployment for blacks, Hispanics, and women. He signs a bill to upgrade Martin Luther King's birthplace for a national park. He signs criminal justice reform that free 3,000 people, many of them minorities so they can return to their families. Signed executive order to make historical black colleges and universities a financial priority. And then, the Republican Senate passed anti-lynching legislation after 200 attempts. He's one of the worst racists ever.

WILLIAMS: What an argument. All right --

GUTFELD: Thank you.

WILLIAMS: -- next up, the New York Times blasted after praising Hillary Clinton's attacks on Tulsi Gabbard. Don't go anywhere. We're going to talk about it next, right here on “The Five.”

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Hillary Clinton, bitter as ever. She refuses to give up the spotlight and can't get over her loss to Trump. The failed candidate is now being brutally mocked for claiming 2020 Democrat Tulsi Gabbard is a Russian asset. But, of course, the New York Times is defending her, touting Clinton as, quote, master troll. Welcome to Hillary unplugged. For most of her public career, Mrs. Clinton has been constrained by the expectations of her position, be it first lady, senator, or secretary of state. Now, after her stunning loss in 2016, it seems she finally feels liberated to speak her mind. Greg, have you noticed a liberated crooked?

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, I believe she's trolling. But trolling is now officially an old person's word. If the New York Times is using it, it's like your granddad putting on his baseball cap on backwards on his way to a black crow's reunion, you know.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: It's like when you're playing Cold Play and your mom says, oh, I like that song, and you just throw the album away.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: That word is dead now to me. I will never call anybody a troll or talk about effective trolling. Thank you, New York Times.

WATTERS: OK. What do you think about this puff piece? They seem to be enamored by Hillary.

PERINO: Actually, Hillary Clinton thinks the New York Times really did her wrong --

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: -- in 2015 and 2016. Remember, they're the ones that broke the Clinton global initiative story. She thinks that they gave the email thing too much attention, et cetera. But you have --

WILLIAMS: She thinks? How about all of us think?

PERINO: OK. The last -- this week you had the last two presidential runners up in the news for the wrong reasons. So you had Bernie Sanders today saying, whoa, like, don't say that about Tulsi Gabbard. Like, we don't need to have any of that here. Tulsi Gabbard now gets all of this additional attention. And you have Mitt Romney. So these --

WATTERS: You mean, what's his name?

PERINO: Pierre.

WATTERS: Pierre.

PERINO: Two people who's spent their entire careers as viable presidential candidate, but they were criticized because they were too canned and too scripted. Well, now you're seeing the other side of that.

WATTERS: Do you like this new Hillary, Juan? You know she's tweeting. She's saying sassy things?

WILLIAMS: Unplugged, you know, to get back to Greg's analogy, right? I mean, this is her. She's -- you know, I -- just to pick up on what Dana was saying, when I look at people who lost the presidential races. So I'm looking at Mitt Romney, John McCain. John McCain was back in the Senate going after Barack Obama, as I recall. Mitt Romney ran for senate and won in Utah. Now he's even -- that's got something to say about Trump, right? Nobody tells these guys to shut up, so why would you say, oh, Hillary, the lady should shut up. I don't think --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Everybody tells him to shut up.

WILLIAMS: I don't think that's fair. And addition --

GUTFELD: I do.

WILLIAMS: -- by the way, you know Tulsi Gabbard, Tulsi Gabbard is not only -- you know, in terms of the possibility of Russia wanting her and encouraging her with all this stuff online, she said that no matter, even if she doesn't win the nomination, she plans to go to the convention and create turmoil, and I just think what is -- are you rooting against the Democrats even as you run for the nomination?

WILLIAMS: Kind of like Ted Cruz caused turmoil with Trump in Cleveland. Yeah, you loved that though.

WILLIAMS: Of course.

WATTERS: What do you think?

MCDOWELL: My favorite part of that New York Times piece was for most of her public career, Mrs. Clinton has been constrained by expectations of her position by be it First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State. Hillary Clinton has only been constrained by trying to be somebody she's not, to be likable, to be understanding, to be empathetic rather than just pathetic.

Her latest look is has been gasping for relevance. This is the equivalent of a 72-year - almost 72-year-old woman taking butt selfies and putting them on Instagram. That's how--

PERINO: I don't know if anybody has ever done that. I don't know anybody.

GUTFELD: You want to add some pictures.

WATTERS: Belfies I think those are called.

MCDOWELL: Yes.

PERINO: It is interesting that this piece runs now, right? That only now is Hillary Clinton a master troll. Really? Ask Monica Lewinsky.

WATTERS: Wow. Did you want to bring up something when - referencing e- mails? There was someone I think it was on CNN.

GUTFELD: Yes. His name is Jeffrey?

WATTERS: Jeffrey. Let's listen to Jeffrey.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JEFFREY TOOBIN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: This is also a story about the news media, about how much time we spent on that. And that's something that I have felt a great deal of personal responsibility for. I think I paid too much attention to them. And I regret that, and this story turns out to be a big nothing. And we spent months on it. Hillary Clinton very likely lost the election because of it. And I think I should have been talking about other issues, not about the emails.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, let me get this straight. Jeffrey Toobin and his entire life, that's what he regrets. You'd think there'd be other things. And that's all I'm saying.

WATTERS: You were thinking about covering Russia collusion.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: For two years.

GUTFELD: Threats that too.

WATTERS: That was the nothing.

WILLIAMS: Wait a second. but here's the fact. The State Department, right, this has been investigated. They said zero. And you guys don't even say.

WATTERS: Said zero what, Juan?

WILLIAMS: Zero that she did nothing wrong. There was no scandal.

WATTERS: Biden didn't do anything wrong; Obama didn't do anything wrong; Hillary did nothing wrong. No one does anything wrong on your side, right.

WILLIAMS: Wait a second, a minute ago, you're saying.

WATTERS: OK.

WILLIAMS: Trump is complaining because, this impeachment is terrible, it's not - so the process when it goes forward, Hillary is found to have no candidate, nothing done wrong. And you still won't say it.

WATTERS: Comey let her off the hook. You know what? That's how the cookie crumbles. Up next, is math racist? Greg takes on this new example of liberal school insanity. Got to watch this monologue next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Good news for people who hate math. It's dead. We're killing it, or at least the Seattle Public Schools are trying. Its district wants to re-humanize math because absolutes are emblematic of oppression. According to reason.com, they're proposing a new social justice infused curriculum that would focus on "power and oppression" within math. Fine.

I mean, does two plus two really equal four? Or does two plus two equal white privilege? By the way, that plus sign looks like a cross, a violation of the separation between church and state. But who needs hard math anyway to build bridges and roads? Nothing but scars on the beauty of nature. We can just feel our way around a river. Bring galoshes.

But I'm too old to care. Look what math has done to my body one year at a time, but still I do rely on engineers who did actual math before this postmodern dreck reduced the hard sciences to room temperature silly putty. But if I had brats, I'd move the hell out of Seattle to a place that rewards literacy and timetables. Because if we start thinking that math is secondary to ideologies dictated by useless grad students who can't read or write, the world stops working. The wings on your plane may start flapping and the tires on your car may start believing in a flat earth.

Engineers and mathematicians keep us moving, but once the workplace becomes the woke place, how will you get to your gender studies class then? By the way, Jesse, this is just a proposal. I don't know if it's going to happen. I'm doing my best to stop it as a lone voice in the heroic wilderness.

WATTERS: I'm confused by the story because I'm terrible at math and math is racist, but I'm also white, so I don't know if I'm too dumb to be racist or not racist enough to be good at math. Right? Am I the victim of my own reverse racism or am I too dumb for my own white privilege? This is like a math problem that I can't solve.

GUTFELD: You have officially out Fred Willard show. You are now.

WATTERS: I don't know what they're trying to tell me.

GUTFELD: You are now a performance artist.

WATTERS: Juan, there is nothing less colorblind than math, right? I mean, it's just hard numbers. If we start putting social - like social justice theology into math, what's going to happen?

WILLIAMS: Well, if we accept the premise that kids, black kids, white kids, brown kids all have the same potential intellectually, then you have to say, well, gee, but look at the standardized test scores. The black and brown kids perform less well. So, I think that you have a situation where that's not good. And you have educators who want to try to do a better job of figuring out how do we deal with this and how can we help these kids perform better on this subject.

Dana had I believe it was a One More Thing the other day, where she had a teacher who was working with kids and she'd made rap music part of.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: He made rap music part of it. And I think that's innovative, that's way to try to improve what we know is potential that's untapped in terms of minority kids and what they call the STEM subjects in science.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: OK. So, I think it's a good idea, Greg.

GUTFELD: All right. What do you think, Dagen, that's your real name?

MCDOWELL: How do you level the playing field though by injecting judgment and bias and opinion into mathematics, which by its very nature is objective--

WILLIAMS: Because there's obviously something is not there.

MCDOWELL: No, but what's not there is good teachers and better education. Again, we rank 30 out of 35 developed nations in mathematics skills. It's because the teachers don't teach. I went through that. I went to public schools; I went to worst public schools in the state of Virginia. And I found - my parents spent good money and sent me away to school. And I remember Barbara Bass, my math teacher going Ms. McDowell, you're not stupid, you're just uneducated. Math is power.

GUTFELD: It is.

MCDOWELL: It's liberation. It is brilliant. We need more of it.

GUTFELD: I hated calculus, Dana. I was so good in math till I got to the hard stuff. And then it was like - it made me feel so low.

PERINO: I remember the day that we started doing fractions. And I'm in fourth grade. I've always been like the best student ever.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: What did she just said? And I remember especially for women, young girls. Right. They always say, like, I'm not good in math.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And we have spent decades, no, it's like just you - everybody has the same potential. And the thing I was mentioning in the commercial break, I love the movie Hidden Figures, about the amazing African American women that worked at NASA. Now, there was racism against them in the workplace. They were discriminated against the woman that had to walk 10 minutes in order to find a bathroom because she wasn't allowed to use the white people's bathroom.

That was actual racism. But what set them apart? They could all do math. So, I think this is crazy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And nonsense.

GUTFELD: I'm just not into solving for X. I mean, it's like, why don't you just tell me what it is, you know? At this point. Do we need to we need to solve for X.?

WATTERS: Well only if we need to find out how much to tip.

GUTFELD: I thought you don't tip, Jesse.

WATTERS: Just sign your name then.

GUTFELD: All right. Stop looking at your phone and start paying attention to your kids. Who wrote this? I would never say that. More America's tech addiction next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MCDOWELL: America's tech addiction now impacting how people are raising their kids. 69 percent of parents feel addicted to their phones and spend almost as much time scrolling as they do with their kids. 50 percent of parents have been asked by their own children to put their phones away. Daddy Watters.

WATTERS: Yes, I've been asked that. It's really humiliating. I don't like to talk about it, but I will, because I'm paid so. So, I was at dinner the other night and the entrees were taking forever and I could tell the girls were really getting close to go into bed and screaming and having a fit. So, you know what I did, took my phone, gave it to them, they put on YouTube kids and they were great until the entrees came out.

So, there are certain times to use the phones effectively, but if you're with the kids, it's good and do not touch the phone and don't make an excuse because it's like, oh, I'm working. We have that excuse because we're in the news business. Really? Oh, yes. Checking Twitter and researching for “The Five.” And you're not, you're looking on Instagram. That's the truth.

MCDOWELL: I think that lie in this survey is that a respondent said they spent two hours and 70 minutes of personal time on their phones, two hours and 41 minutes of quality time with their kids. I don't think they're spending maybe five minutes with those kids. Dana?

PERINO: Well, I don't have children. I have--

GUTFELD: You have Jasper.

PERINO: And the dog doesn't like the phone either. I did hear some good advice from Kim Strassel, who is a Fox News Contributor, Wall Street Journal Columnist. She said that on the weekends they have - she has a box and everybody - she has three children and her significant other, so everybody put the phones in the box, locks it and no one can use their phone. That sounds a little extreme, but it really is for a forced family fun.

WATTERS: Forced family fun.

GUTFELD: Two points. One, Apple force an update on my phone. And since then, it has been an absolute disaster. They move the trash can where I used to reply. So, when I will reply, I just trash everybody. My password sticks. They've made this very hard on me. But having said that about this phone. Phones are better than children, OK? They don't let you down. You can carry them around wherever you want to go.

You know, technology is a better version than all of us. We think the Mona Lisa is amazing. Oh, look at this beautiful painting. It's an ugly painting. AI could do a much better version of Mona Lisa. Could do a thousand of them in 10 minutes.

We appreciate art and entertainment because we're so bad at it. Like maybe we get one great book out of a million people, but we can get a million books out of one laptop. Our technology - we should just embrace technology. They are our children and our children; we don't need them.

WATTERS: Wait, did you just say the Mona Lisa is overrated?

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, it is. It is. Have you looked at it lately?

WATTERS: Not lately, but I've looked at it.

GUTFELD: I tried to outdo you in absurdity. And I think I failed.

WATTERS: All right. Well, listen - you must like sex robots, because sex robots.

PERINO: What?

WATTERS: No, I'm serious. Take that to the logical conclusion. You're saying this is better than a human being.

GUTFELD: No. You know what, there is nothing I can say--

WATTERS: You need the human touch, Greg.

WILLIAMS: I think I'll stay out of this conversation. But let me just say--

GUTFELD: Wisest move.

WILLIAMS: I like kids and I like great kids. And I think it's interesting for me because what you described at the dinner table is the other way. So, their parents will give them - they give them screens.

WATTERS: The whole dinner.

WILLIAMS: Yes. And I'm like, hey, talk to me. I'd like to know how your week was.

WATTERS: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But the parents want them on the screens because then the parents are able to engage in adult conversation.

WATTERS: Right. And they need that adult conversation to stay sane.

WILLIAMS: Right. Well, but I also would like to know my grandkids and I'd like to know my kids because guess what? The kids, you know, especially my daughter who's a lawyer, she'll pick up the phone and she'd be like, dude, I'm working. I've got people after - and I'm thinking more like, well, let's just exercise some personal discretion here and say, this is family time.

WATTERS: Yes. Now, if you tell your kids to do that, what do they say?

WILLIAMS: Well, they don't--

WATTERS: They don't listen to you anymore.

WILLIAMS: No, no. In fact, she doesn't let the kids have any of those mobile devices during the week, during school week. It's limited to the weekends. And then, of course, at dinner family dinner.

WATTERS: But you only see them on the weekends.

WILLIAMS: That's a problem.

WATTERS: With you, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Thank you, babe.

WATTERS: All right.

MCDOWELL: I would still rather build a fort or play in a creek than play on this thing.

GUTFELD: You can do both, you know, a lot of room--

PERINO: Just don't drop your phone in the creek.

WILLIAMS: There you go.

MCDOWELL: Sex robots. One More Thing next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time for One More Thing. Greg.

GUTFELD: We should do that story tomorrow.

PERINO: I think you should do a monologue on it.

GUTFELD: The waxing story.

PERINO: All right.

GUTFELD: OK, let's do this. Animals Are Great. I don't know what I'm talking about, except, you know what, I hate always being the third wheel when you're out with a couple, like this poor fellow here. You know, they're sitting at a restaurant. They're enjoying their cucumber. And here's this poor little guy. This little dioxin just kind of left out of the whole scene. And you know what, they should be making that little fellow feel a little bit more welcome and share the cucumber. But, you know, bunnies are overrated, just like the Mona Lisa. The Mona Lisa is overrated. So, are the bunnies. Look at the little guy. He's going to cry.

PERINO: Always include your friends if you take them on a date.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: Check out this burning tree in Trinity, Texas. It got struck by lightning and they captured the aftermath. Look at all that fire engulfing the interior of the tree. There is a study at Seattle now that says lightning is racist and we're going to be doing that tomorrow. There you have it.

PERINO: Is that true?

WATTERS: Yes. Discrimination. You're going to have to explain that to me later. All right. I've got one here. So, a mother of two, she had a sleepless night because she was convinced there was a ghost baby in bed with her son. Maritza Elizabeth, she spotted this infant ghoul's face staring straight at her to her 18-month-old son's baby monitor after she put him to bed and his crib. And at first, she thought she was - her eyes were just playing tricks on her. She tried to ignore it, but the image continued to creep her out.

So, she went into her son's room. She couldn't get a good enough look. And she was really upset about it. Well, it turns out her mind was put at ease when she realized that her husband just forgot to put the mattress protector on when he changed the sheets, and the ghost face was just a baby's face on like the label.

GUTFELD: I don't believe that.

PERINO: You don't.

GUTFELD: I don't believe that for a second.

PERINO: The whole thing.

GUTFELD: I don't believe it at all. I think it's all - it's fake news.

PERINO: Do you think it's a ghost?

GUTFELD: Yes. It's fake booze.

WILLIAMS: Halloween, that's pretty good.

PERINO: Very good. That question that guy asked you on Twitter? I can see why they're asking. All right, Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. So maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time. That's the way Paul McCartney put it. So, take a look at this. What do you do on your 72nd wedding anniversary? Here are 91-year-old sweethearts Leonard and Shirley Matties of Burlington, Colorado. Dana, still in love after all these years. And so, Shirley got dressed up in a radiant pink gown for the anniversary. The nurses at the senior living center organized a photo shoot on this special date for them.

The couple has seven children in addition to grandchildren and great grandchildren. One daughter says that while Shirley now has dementia, she has no problem recognizing one person, Leonard, the man she calls, "the love of her life." Love to love you. Isn't that wonderful?

PERINO: That is very sweet. Excellent job there. Dagen, take your time. You've got some time.

MCDOWELL: I'm self-editing so I don't need to say anything offensive about that lovely elderly couple. So, I love corgis and I love fluffy corgi butts. So, take a look at this. This is the 2019 corgi cup. It was held at halftime at the Seahawks week seven game against the Ravens. Of course, the Ravens there. There you go.

A dog named Dwayne the Rock Johnson was the real MVP. It beats seven other corgis for the cutest touchdown ever. This is only the second annual corgi cup, but I have a favorite corgi on the Internet. Willow take a look.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

GUTFELD: Great ears. That is a corgi.

MCDOWELL: Willow howls when she eats. And I have spent maybe--

GUTFELD: That was a howl?

MCDOWELL: Yes, she's got that little howl at the end. I literally have spent 30 minutes starting Monday today, watching that video over and over--

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: That's why they call it research.

GUTFELD: You know, I hear that a lot coming from Kilmeade's office. He doesn't have a dog.

WATTERS: Howling corgis.

PERINO: He does have two dogs. One of them is deaf. So, he couldn't make that sound.

GUTFELD: Well, now I feel really bad about making a joke about Kilmeade.

WATTERS: How do you know if the dog is deaf?

PERINO: Because it doesn't - well I guess--

MCDOWELL: Like this.

PERINO: Honestly, I have one question America, what has happened today? What has happened today on our show? Greg, we have little time, what are you going to eat tonight?

GUTFELD: I'm going to have fried chicken. I'm going to order seamless fried chicken. Get some corn.

WATTERS: Cucumber.

GUTFELD: No cucumber for me, my friend. But yes, I can't wait. It's going to be a big bucket. Big bucket of love.

MCDOWELL: Can I make a suggestion, do not order delivery fried chicken. You have to go and get it right out of the fryer. Southerner, that's only the best advice.

PERINO: Why?

GUTFELD: I'm too lazy.

WILLIAMS: It's hot.

MCDOWELL: You've got to eat it hot out of the--

GUTFELD: I can't do that.

PERINO: All right. Well, OK, you learn a lot on this show. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report" is up next. Bret, we enjoyed having you.

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