Trump signs spending bill, Washington averts shutdown

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 23, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle along with Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Watters, Lisa Boothe and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is "The Five." A government shutdown has been averted. A new spending bill has been signed, but things were uncertain earlier when President Trump threaten to veto the measure because it didn't include protection for dreamers or enough money for his promise border wall. The president reluctantly approved it, but warned he's never going to sign legislation like this again.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: As a matter of national security, I signed this omnibus budget bill. There are a lot of things I am unhappy about in this bill. There are a lot of things that we should not have had in this bill, but we were in a sense forced if we want to build our military we will force to have. So I will never sign another bill like this again. I am not going to do it again. Nobody read it. It's only hours old. Some people don't even know what it is -- $1.3-trillion it's the second largest ever.


GUILFOYLE: Mr. Trump says he wants to change the senate's rules to eliminate the filibuster and allowed passage on the simple majority vote. He also called for a line item veto that would grant him the ability to nix spending that he disagrees with. So, Geraldo, welcome to (INAUDIBLE).

GERALDO RIVERA, CO-HOST: Thank you. Nice to be back.

GUILFOYLE: All right. So what do you what make of the president's -- the rhetoric here are very strong. So can see that he's like genuinely displeased with the way this sort of happened and rolled out.

RIVERA: Words are cheap, you know, and the spending bill is expensive. I think, first of all, as an attorney, let me start with the line item veto that every president has wanted. Bill Clinton wants it, and the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional. Why? Because it's up to the legislative branch to determine spending, not the president. He signs on or off, but he doesn't determine the line item -- you know, he can't veto things line- by-line as much as every president would like that kind of control.

You know, Dick Cheney famously said that Reagan proved that deficits don't matter to politicians whether they're going to be reelected or not. I hope that's true because now the deficit hits $1 Trillion with this budget. And while people are cheering the $650 for the defense department and the enhanced military, I remember when I worked at 20-20 doing a series of exposes about the defense department when it's flush with cash doesn't really spend it with prudence in a reasonable fashion. I exposed toilet seats, for instance, that was selling for $640. Screws, single screws, like $37 to the defense department, a coffeemaker selling for $7,353, you know. So, $650 billion, I hope this goes to the right -- goes to the right kinds of weapon. You've mentioned at 35 enhanced F-18's, 30 new naval vessels. That's all good, but, you know, money doesn't mean security, necessarily.

GUILFOYLE: All right, Jesse, does it?

JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Well, I know one thing. Mexico is not going to pay for the wall and neither are we, because it says there's going to be only $1.6 billion for the wall, and you can't even use the new concrete wall prototypes that he just surveyed. And it's specifically for 93 miles, the border is 3,000 miles. And the only fencing that's going to be done is back up fencing and repairs. This was a huge defeat for the president on a signature issue. It's really, really bad. There's no way to spin it. I know he wanted more money for the military, and that's incredibly important, but he sacrificed everything else to get it. And I hate to do this. I hate to quote Rand Paul. But Rand Paul said something--


WATTERS: I mean, only for this instance. He said there's an unholy alliance between Republicans and Democrats in Congress. The Republicans wants to spend like crazy on the military, and the Democrats say, OK, we'll give you the military spending if we can spend whatever we want on domestic spending, and they get together and they just run deficits. But the border is a mess. And crying Chuck Schumer gets all the money he wants for a tunnel from New Jersey to New York, and there's no border wall funding. I saw some of these other pork, I mean, Planned Parenthood a half billion dollars.

The John F. Kennedy Center is getting $40 million. Stuff -- they wanted to cut the budget for the EPA. EPA budget at a historic high. It's really insulting, and he said it's never going to happen again. I don't see how he's going to change the dynamic in Congress to have this never happen again. Democrats will never going to vote for border wall funding. And then, Republicans aren't going to go to mattresses for. He should just have his rich billionaire friends pony up, maybe they could privatize it.

GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh, sponsored by the billionaire's boys club. How fabulous.


GUILFOYLE: OK. So, winner, winner, Chuck Schumer dinner. I just came out ahead in all of this.

LISA BOOTHE, CO-HOST: I kind of love what President Trump did today. As someone who worked in political communication, I'm so sick and tired of Republicans just accepting the terms of the debate from the media and the left, and President Trump doesn't. Think about what he did today, he came out and basically shamed the Democratic Party for not fighting harder to include DACA in this deal.

He won a massive public debate with Congress in a stand down when the Democratic Party tried to shutdown Congress over DACA. And they got shamed by a majority of Americans disagree with that approach. And then when they don't fight for it after going through that bruising battle, he then shames them for not doing it. So, I mean, you kind to have to --

WATTERS: I don't think the Democrats are capable of feeling shame.

BOOTHE: From a political, like, communication standpoint --

WATTERS: I don't know. I don't know.

RIVERA: They got $300 million for the training vessels for one of my alma mater, Maritime College in the Bronx. Schumer got $300 million for a ship, a training ship that lives under the Throgs Neck Bridge. I mean, that's a lot of -- he can deal with a lot of shame for that kind of money. It's not draining the swamp --

GUILFOYLE: Bulk of the swamp is Congress, I guess. And they're filling it with boat loads of cash for themselves. Go ahead.



GUTFELD: All right. My favorite part, no protection for dreamers. You could hear Ann Coulter's eyeballs pop out of her skull, fly across the gallery, straight into galaxy, straight into the sun and explode. People -- I don't understand why people are angry over this. How could you not see this coming? Donald Trump is not a libertarian, right? He's not small government. Small government is dead. Sadly, as a conservative it is dead. $1.3 trillion, that's a lot of dining room sets for Ben Carson. So, we know -- we know, Donald Trump is a deal maker, right? In this case, the deal wasn't that great. But it's like a kidney stone. He had to pass it and it hurts, but you still got to pass it. The problem is, you've got to make -- it's like when you vote -- if you voted for Donald Trump you accepted the flaws for the bigger benefit. In this case, the budget is like that. It's like, well, at least, I get all this for the military if I've got to put up with the Planned Parenthood thing, or if I've had to put up with the no wall thing, but at least I get all this.

RIVERA: Environmental protection agency.

GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah. It's like you have to -- that's the nature --


GUTFELD: Yeah. But that's the nature of a compromise. So, you know, perhaps, he could have shaped it in a way where he said, like, I'm not happy, but that's the nature of compromise. A lot of people aren't happy. But, you know, he did say something that, you know, that hasn't been said before, which is like nobody read it except here on Fox News, we've been saying that all the time. All I know is -- I'm not surprised by this, because it's not an idea log.

RIVERA: Well, I love the guy. But I have to say that when he promises never to ever, ever do that again --


RIVERA: -- after he promise never to ever fire McMaster, you know, those kinds of promises are not written in stone.

BOOTHE: But I think he kind of did what you said in talking about this is a compromise, I had to do that, and I think that's why he had Secretary Mattis come out because the premise of him accepting this deal, despite all its glaring flaws as everyone laid out here, it's a terrible deal. But the only reason he accepted it, or at least what he laid out today, was having Secretary Mattis, this is about our military. So, I think, that's where he came from in terms of --


BOOTHE: -- compromise --


BOOTHE: -- accepting the bad.

GUTFELD: A lot of people pulling these strings. But I have to say, liberal Democrats have to thank Republicans because without a capitalist society we wouldn't be able to give them all this money just to waste.

WATTERS: It's true. And tax receipts are on an all-time high. We're taking in more revenue than we've ever taken before, and we're spending more than we've ever had.


WATTERS: Except, one other time, which is probably under Obama.

GUTFELD: I'd rather have them spend it on military than condoms for the spotted owl.

BOOTHE: It is a little ironic though --

GUILFOYLE: That's not true.

GUTFELD: Well, maybe.


GUTFELD: The spotted owl can be Randy.

BOOTHE: We're talking about slapping tariffs on China. And then, now, they're going to own more of us because we're racking up the national debt. So, there is a little-bit of --

RIVERA: I think there is something bizarre and obscene about having a 2,200 odd-page document --


RIVERA: -- that nobody reads.


RIVERA: So you know that the --


BOOTHE: Well, they had staff read it.

RIVERA: Well, baloney. I think they have the lobbyists read it, the lobbyists roll in a panic when he said he was going to veto the bill. Then, they're all calling it -- does my pork stay in there? Does mine, does mine, you know. So I think that this -- this process is so dysfunctional, and that's the way Washington works. That's the swamp that everybody talks about. And I believe in my heart of hearts, that it wasn't for the stock market tanking, he would have vetoed it or -- you know, the spending lasted until tonight. He would have let the government shutdown over the weekend if it wasn't for the fact that everything sounds so tenuous. You've got the porn star. You've got China. You've got the stock market. You have so much going on right now.

WATTERS: But to Lisa's point, the way he split the deal last time was to put the Democrats on defense and say we're going to shut down the government, because you guys want to protect illegal aliens. He didn't have that same time of dynamic this time, so I don't know if he would have been able to win the shutdown debate. Then they just went hope. He said, OK, I'm going to veto. And then, Paul Ryan said OK, we're closed. See you Monday.

GUTFELD: The worst thing about -- you know, I understand his anger being upset about the deal. And I get it. Because, you know, like you said, when you're making a deal you know what is in the deal and government you don't. But the disturbing part was when he started talking about suing pharmaceutical companies.

RIVERA: I like that idea.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's a terrible idea. I'll tell you why. The President of the United States saying he's going to sue pharmaceutical companies, how is that different than -- saying President Obama after a mass shooting saying we're going to sue gun companies. You don't cast the wide net. You go after the law breaker. And if you're going to sue pharmaceutical companies you're going to create incredible hysteria and fear. People with cancer and pain related disorders are not going to be able to get their drugs, and they've done nothing wrong there. They're not addicts. You don't sue the company --


GUTFELD: When a stolen gun is involved in a robbery, you sue the maker of the gun.

RIVERA: They have documentation how they programmed those doctors to over- prescribe addictive drugs, please.


GUTFELD: Let's sue the gun companies when a stolen gun is used in a crime.

RIVERA: When an AR-15 is used, I wouldn't --

GUTFELD: All right, there you go. We got you. You'll sue the company.

RIVERA: I would.

GUILFOYLE: The pharmaceutical company, the gun company --

BOOTHE: Everyone is getting sued.

GUILFOYLE: Suing Greg, next. Ahead --


GUILFOYLE: Ahead, President Trump names John Bolton to replace National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster. Cue the meltdown from the left and the mainstream media, next.


RIVERA: The president steered his foreign policy team hard right last night when he fired National Security Advisor, Three-Star General H.R. McMaster, replacing him with our old-pal Ambassador John Bolton. The switch not popular among the usual suspects on the left and the mainstream media, they bent over backwards to belittle Bolton's credentials.


UNINDENTIFIED MALE: I can't imagine a more reckless, more dangerous pick.

UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: I find him to be dangerous, and it's put me in a state of anxiety today, frankly.

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: You know, I mean, I had a grim feeling in my belly this morning. I think that the risk of a war -- a shooting war with Iran and North Korea are substantially greater than they were this morning.

UNINDENTIFIED MALE: He's dangerous. He's dangerous. He's a warmonger. He has no problem thinking about starting a war.


RIVERA: A warmonger. Remember, aside from his extensive foreign policy experience, Bolton did served as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations in the administration of Bush 43. But CNN, for example, dismissed him as just another Fox News talking head, a shallow assessment that did not sit well with the White House.


KELLYANNE CONWAY, COUNSELOR TO THE PRESIDENT: The irony is not lost to me that you have a lot of, quote, TV stars, calling Larry Kudlow and John Bolton TV stars, TV personalities. It's kind of weird. They are men of influential heft and substantial accomplishments in their respected field. I've known both of them for decades. That's what happens when you're old around here. And we're always very pleased, this country should be pleased, when people who don't need another chapter in their illustrious careers, want to come in and serve the nation.


RIVERA: Everybody at this table has accepted an appointment of some sort. I'm going to be housing and urban development. Kimberly, still going to take that job, ambassador to France?



RIVERA: It's a Louis Vuitton.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, exactly.

RIVERA: What do you think? He's a hawk.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, but here's the thing --


GUILFOYLE: When they talk about someone saying, oh, well, they've been on television, or they're talking as their TV stars. Well, guess what? Because based on their credentials they're highly sought after for their opinions, their intellect, based on their ability and their body of work. And this is no exception here with Larry Kudlow and, particular, as we're discussing with John Bolton. When you look at his background in terms of what he's done, ambassador to the United Nations under President George W. Bush, former undersecretary of state for arm controls and international security affairs, former assistant secretary of state for international organization. He's quite an impressive background. He's very learned. Anybody who actually opens their mind and ears to listens to what he has to say when he speaks, he's very learned.

And by the way, why is it that the left and the Democrats aren't applauding the fact that he's very tough on Russia? And this will be no cake walk for Putin. He is not a fan. He believes in freezing assets, etcetera. And a very hard line as it relates to Russia. This is not a yes man. This is somebody who's going to make the case for the president and be a strong advocate for what he believes in. He was considered right away in the beginning of the administration to take this position. He didn't get it that time. And now, the president has decided that this is the right choice.

BOOTHE: This is what the mainstream media always does. President Trump was a reality TV star instead of a businessman. Hope Hicks was a model, and said was a very successful P.R. person. And now, Ambassador Bolton is a Fox News talking head as opposed to the long list of credentials that he's done. I mean, this is what the mainstream media does and effort to belittle the people around President Trump. Belittle him. They want --

RIVERA: And belittle Fox News.

BOOTHE: Well, they want the American people to see him as a clown, and he's surrounded with buffoons. I mean, this is the -- this is what the mainstream media does, intentionally, to try to discredit the president and everyone around him.

RIVERA: But the media thing aside isn't the real problem that he wants to bomb North Korea back into the Stone Age, Jesse.

WATTERS: Well, they've said that about President Trump that he this big warmonger when he said fire and fury. And now look what's happened, there's a historic negotiation of foot on the peninsula, and we could have real progress. So, I don't buy that. Obama hired 25 mainstream media personalities. Remember, Richards Stengel, Jake Corny, Samantha Powers? They have no problem when the revolving door with the Obama administration. So, Trump hires a few Fox News personalities and he's stacking the deck? Come on, this guy worked for 2 Bush's, a Reagan, and this is going to be his 4th Republican administration. He's a great diplomat, as you've laid out. And, of course, he's a little bit of a hawk on Iran --

RIVERA: A little bit.



WATTERS: Unlike you've said Russia. Yeah, it's not because he's from Fox that he's a hawk.

RIVERA: Do you worry that war is more likely now?

GUTFELD: No, I think -- OK, when Bolton walks into a room, everybody else becomes the good cop, you know. This is what Trump is doing is that he's surrounding himself with hawks because he's actually -- he looks kind of a dove. So what he's doing is he's building up this kind of idea that you don't mess with us, but I'll be the one. Like, he's now the rational one, which is in terms of foreign policy. But the thing that bugs me about this is that, you know, all the shallow talk coming from CNN who's now turned into skin-a-max. You know, now their inside edition on crystal meth. They spent like a whole hour --


GUTFELD: Our nations hall monitor, Brian Stelter, apparently, doesn't watch his own network. There they spent an hour talking to this woman, McDougal, a consensual relationship that we've all pretty much accepted as real. Imagine if CNN had cared about the non-consensual contact -- the non-consensual contact by a Clinton, and I don't mean Hillary when she slips and hits the pavement. The thing is --


GUTFELD: I guess my point is, I don't understand why they're doing this, because if we all know what Trump was like before he was President Trump and we accepted his flaws because we realized there might be something else there, 60 some-odd-million people made that decision. Then why would you devote an hour to this if only to hurt the first lady?


GUTFELD: That's it. They're turning it into skin-a-max for ratings. But there's only one real victim in this and that's the first lady.

RIVERA: First lady, absolutely.

GUTFELD: It's the first lady.

RIVERA: They say that this is the propaganda network. They're the soft- porn network.

GUTFELD: They need that soft-porn music in the background now. The other thing too, which is interesting --

RIVERA: A degree of black shots.

GUTFELD: Yes. The difference between Republicans and Democrats, when it happened to Clinton, the Democrats went after the women. We don't -- we accept Stormy Daniels' words. We accept McDougal's words. We don't call them bimbos.

RIVERA: They both claimed to be with Trump during the same ski -- I mean, golf tournament at Lake Tahoe.

GUTFELD: Yes. Like we care when Stormy Daniels is taking a lie detector test --


RIVERA: One of the survivors of the --


GUILFOYLE: You've got wrap.


RIVERA: Sorry.


RIVERA: I apologize. All right, let's get to --


RIVERA: -- sorry. Enough about soft-core. One of the survivors of the Parkland school massacre takes a swipe at Times Magazine for its latest cover featuring just some of his fellow survivors. That very serious topic is next.


BOOTHE: Welcome back. Well, ahead of tomorrow's march for a live rally. Time released its latest cover featuring students from Stoneman Douglas High School, who will become the face of the gun control movement. But not on the cover are some of their pro-second amendment classmates, like Kyle Kashuv, who, he will be leading of lawmakers this weekend. Listen.


UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Did they ask you to be in the shot?

KYLE KASHUV, STONEMAN DOUGLAS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT: Well, they didn't ask me, but, honestly, I didn't know Time Magazine was still a thing.

UNINDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why do you think that is?

KASHUV: I don't -- maybe -- I think maybe they're trying to represent only one point of view, the Democrat point of view and the anti-gun movement. I honestly couldn't tell you. If they're really trying to get the full perspective they would have asked me.


BOOTHE: Geraldo, you look at the cover. Only one side of the debate is present on that cover. Is there any difference between that and just propaganda?

RIVERA: Well, I don't know, Lisa. But I do know that him saying I didn't know Time Magazine was still a thing is a zap that's very telling, very effective. You know, during the civil rights movement, you didn't have covers of the kids that did not protest. You had the protestors. This is a movement. This is not a moment. This is a real spontaneous, kind of, uprising of these young people. I've covered Parkland. I've covered Sandy Hook. I've covered Orlando Pulse. I'm sickened by these events. I think these children are speaking against the National Rifle Association in a way far more effective than any politician. They have more guts than our president. Even, again, my brother who has shown that he cannot stand up to the NRA. I applaud the fact that these young people will be out on Saturday. This kid has a point, I guess. But, you know, this is their time.

BOOTHE: Jesse, is this spontaneous?

WATTERS: Yeah, it is spontaneous on the kids' perspective, because they went through a horror show and they're, obviously, feeling genuinely upset about it and want to take action. I know that it's being controlled through some puppet strings on some big umbrella left-wing groups, and that's to be expected with the left. I'm not surprise Time Magazine not fair and balance. If I was the editor, I would have put Sheriff Israel's face and I would have said bad cop, everything that went wrong in the school shooting --

RIVERA: That's a good point. Good point.

WATTERS: Because really, that's where the solutions lie. Everything was in place. The mechanisms, the tripwires. Everything could have been done, and everything wasn't done. And I feel like not enough attention is being paid there. And more is just about the emotional output of the students, which isn't wrong to pay attention to, but you're neglecting some of the real solutions.

BOOTHE: Greg, I know you're pretty fired up about Sheriff Israel.

GUTFELD: No, I mean, I agree with Jesse. That he is still employed is the big story. I mean, this is a guy who scapegoated Scot Peterson because, you know, he didn't go in. And Scot Peterson was the one who red-flagged this guy 2 years ago. If they had listened to Peterson, he would be the -- they're scapegoating the whistleblower in order to hide the --

RIVERA: The whistleblower chickened out.

GUTFELD: No, he did -- no, no, no, no, no. You don't know that story. Nobody knows that story. What we do know is that he red-flagged this guy and then he got blamed --

RIVERA: The video. The guy stayed outside. He should --

GUTFELD: You should actually listen to the guy.

WATTERS: He could have done both. He could have chickened out, but he also could have red --

RIVERA: I agree. I agree that that's --

GUTFELD: I want to talk about the students. All right? Because the difference between this kid, what's his name, Kyle is that he actually goes out and talks to people who disagrees with him. He doesn't seem to be -- he's not interested in just being with the side that agrees with him. So that's a -- that makes him a little bit different.

I'm interested in how you do treat students who don't toe the ideological line. Will teachers marginalize them? Will other students treat them poorly because they are not marching? Is this going to be more than an exercise, a spontaneous exercise -- pardon me, I'm not done -- or is it going to be an exercise in peer pressure? Because that's important, because students, there are other sides to this. And I think he's making a decent point. Because he is expressing himself to other people.

BOOTHE: Kimberly, half of the country hasn't been represented in this debate. Right?

GUILFOYLE: No, you're absolutely right. I think it's interesting, because I know I mentioned this one time briefly, that at my son's school -- and all the different schools from different parents I know -- they sent home permission's slips. And apparently you write your name, sign, and the student had to sign their name and write that they wanted to walk out and participate.

And I thought to myself, can you imagine if my son was the only one left in the class? Then what, he's going to get bullied? He's going to be marginalized? It becomes a thing about "Hey, there's one choice to make here." And when you're 8, 9, 10, or you know, 11 years old, in a school like that, and you're the one that's going to sit in the classroom, you want to be part, naturally, of the group to be accepted and be with your classmates, even if you might not have a complete command of the issues. You're pressured to go with the one group think.

RIVERA: I think that you're missing a historic point here. In Sandy Hook, twenty --

GUTFELD: We understand, Geraldo, what happens.

RIVERA: -- first graders were massacred.

GUTFELD: We know the history.

RIVERA: Twenty of them. In three days, the NRA was counter attacking with all of those millions of dollars. They quashed the -- the anti-assault weapon movement. They've done it every single time.

What made this different is that young people rose up on their own. And if you don't recognize that, you miss --

WATTERS: What happened in Maryland, Geraldo? There was an armed guard that was there, and he neutralized the person that was shooting.

RIVERA: Great. Great.

WATTERS: And that story --

RIVERA: I'm all for -- I'm all for gun --

WATTERS: That story was ignored.

RIVERA: I'm all for a gun-toting good guy in every school. Right, absolutely.

GUILFOYLE: Harden soft targets. And put a couple dogs in there.

BOOTHE: All right. We're going to leave it.

GUILFOYLE: Hungry ones.

BOOTHE: We'll be right back. No tease. We'll be right back.



WATTERS: Welcome back. Greg hates that song.


GRAPHIC: Fastest 7


WATTERS: "Fastest Seven Minutes on TV." Three stories, 7 minutes. Let's go.

First up, last night Trump supporter Roseanne Barr waded into the anti- Trump territory, "Jimmy Kimmel Show," and masterfully told the far-left host to zip it on the president.


JIMMY KIMMEL, HOST, ABC'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!" Weren't you a friend of -- like, a good friend of Hillary Clinton's at one point?

ROSEANNE BARR, COMEDIAN: Yes, I was. I had some disagreements with her foreign policy.

KIMMEL: I am shocked. Because I know you were very liberal, socially liberal person in general. I mean --

BARR: I'm still the same. You all moved.

KIMMEL: We did?

BARR: You all went so (EXPLETIVE DELETED) far out you lost everybody.

A lot of us, you know, no matter who we voted for, we don't want to see our president fail.


WATTERS: OK. Roseanne Barr making a lot of sense. Greg.

GUTFELD: She's, of all comedians, the one closest to what you would say the street or the regular person.

WATTERS: You're pretty close to the street, Greg.

GUTFELD: Thank you. You can see yourself --

GUILFOYLE: Literally.

GUTFELD: Good one. You can see -- you can see yourself in a dive bar, drinking with her, but not with those skinny milquetoasts that are on late night TV. She's more alive than they are. They're zombies who toe the same line, and she's actually human.


WATTERS: She's a breath of fresh air.

BOOTHE: Yes, I love the fact that her show is going to be the take of a Trump supporter. Because I think half of this country is not represented in Hollywood. They're not represented on these TV shows. And so I think it's good for people to feel like they have someone out there that's sort of representing their values and representing what they see every day in their everyday life.

WATTERS: She put Kimmel back on his toes a little bit, Geraldo.

RIVERA: I absolutely abhor being lectured by comedians and actors about things they know nothing special about.

GUTFELD: Now you know how we feel.


RIVERA: In politics, you get one president at a time. I choose to back him. You know, that's -- I wish America would be more united to be behind the man in the White House.

WATTERS: Do you think America is going to like the show?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I'm excited for her. I think this is going to bode very well for the Roseanne reboot. I love that she was just, like, full-on authentic. She's not afraid to take a stand. She doesn't care if Hollywood tries to, like, blacklist her, whatever. You know, she's like a honey badger. She's like "I don't" -- you know, she just keeps on going. Stung a thousand times. She just gets up, and she's, like, "Let's do this again." And she's being quite, you know, vocal in terms of her support for the president.

WATTERS: Yes. I don't think John Goodman agrees with her.

GUTFELD: No. He looked uncomfortable.

WATTERS: All right. Next up, it's been an abysmal year for United. The carrier reeling from a string of P.R. starters. In attempt to avert another fiasco, it offered a passenger a $10,000 voucher for her troubles after bouncing her off a flight bound for Austin on Thursday.

I mean, that's like -- $10,000, ow much did she probably pay for the flight?

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I'd totally take it.

GUTFELD: Three hundred.

WATTERS: Yes, please. Three hundred, 10,000?

RIVERA: But they've had such a bad year. It would be cheap to get out of the bad press to give the 10 grand away.

WATTERS: I mean, that's pretty -- United put the dog in the -- in the overhead compartment.

WATTERS: Yes, $10,000 makes up for that. Right?

BOOTHE: You can do a lot with $10,000. I would take it in a heartbeat. That would be, like, a lucky day.

WATTERS: You could fly around the world almost.

GUTFELD: Not a lot of money. In the airport shop, it gets you 3 waters and a role of Mentos.

You know what kills me --

WATTERS: It's crumbs!


GUTFELD: It's the crumbs at the airplane stores, my point. I hate when I have to explain things.

WATTERS: All right.

GUTFELD: It's a very --

GUILFOYLE: I was with you.

GUTFELD: Finally, grab your fedora. Indy is coming back.




HARRISON FORD, ACTOR: Damn, I thought that was closer.


WATTERS: So Greg, you were about 35 when that movie came out originally.

GUTFELD: Yes. They should call it "Raiders of the Lost AARP."

WATTERS: Good night, everybody.

GUTFELD: Thank you very much.

GUILFOYLE: God, he loves his own jokes.

GUTFELD: I tweeted that earlier.

WATTERS: He's going to be 76, Lisa. What do you think?

BOOTHE: I think he's probably in better shape than me and probably works out more than I do, so kudos to him.

WATTERS: Hey looks pretty good. Almost as good as you, Geraldo.

RIVERA: It's an inspiration to me.

GUILFOYLE: Don't make it so --

WATTERS: -- we resist (ph).

RIVERA: It's going to be the 40th anniversary of the original when this one comes out.

WATTERS: You were the Harrison Ford of Fox.

Kimberly, are you excited?

GUILFOYLE: I'm a fan. I'm into it. I used to love these movies. And I love the whips. It was super cool. So we can still use that.

RIVERA: What about the whips?

GUILFOYLE: No, no, no --

WATTERS: On that note, should keep (ph) things up a bit this Friday. We're answering fan mail questions stretched against all our social media pages today. We turn it over to you up next.


GUTFELD: Fan mail Friday. We've collected your questions from our social media pages. Let's begin.

Very interesting question from Don M.: "Do you believe in UFO and alien life?" Jesse.

WATTERS: I mean, I have to maintain a little credibility, so I'm going to say no.

GUTFELD: A little.

WATTERS: A little credibility out there.


WATTERS: I don't want to answer this question. I refuse to answer this question.

GUTFELD: Oh. You are a shape-shifting lizard, then. Jesse is a shape- shifting lizard.


BOOTHE: I never used to, but some of these videos are freaking me out.

GUTFELD: Which videos?

BOOTHE: The videos of our military men and women encountering some of these different flying objects.

GUILFOYLE: Where did you see this?


BOOTHE: The video -- I'm, like, doubting myself now.

GUTFELD: Geraldo, I'm sure you've seen a few aliens in your life.

RIVERA: I was at anchor in my sailboat in the Bahama banks, and I saw an object that was going like this and like this, but I was total wasted. So I don't --

GUTFELD: OK. You ended up going home with it.

A lot of probing that night for Geraldo.


GUTFELD: Kimberly, how about you? Alien life?


RIVERA: Deny, deny, deny.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I've been accused of being a "Westworld" robot. One time I got into a mean fight with an alien from outer space, and I won.

GUTFELD: I do believe in alien life.

GUILFOYLE: Is it possible, yes.

GUTFELD: If you've ever seen Brian Stelter up close.

RIVERA: Alien life.


WATTERS: James Carville.


WATTERS: James Carville.


GUILFOYLE: You're just begging to make a clip, aren't you?

GUTFELD: Christine J. -- this is really good, especially for Geraldo Rivera so I won't go to him. "Do you have any recommendations for summer reading?" Lisa.

BOOTHE: I hope Geraldo has his book.

RIVERA: Thank you.

GUILFOYLE: This is a lay-up.

BOOTHE: What's your book?

GUTFELD: I have a book coming out in July or August. It's all of my monologues.

BOOTHE: Also, Greg's book.

GUTFELD: Plus, I comment on my monologues, so it's two books in one, America. You can order it right now at Amazon.

Kimberly, you don't have a book?

GUILFOYLE: Not that it will be ready for summer, but I do have a nice diet book and cookbook coming out.

GUTFELD: No way.

BOOTHE: Promoted all three of your books for you.

GUTFELD: Jesse, you do not have a book, and you don't read. So this is going to be very hard for you. Is there a small toy that you can recommend?


WATTERS: Mine is going to be "Killing Gutfeld."

BOOTHE: It's a coloring book.

GUTFELD: If I don't show up on Monday, you're in trouble. I might call in sick, just --

WATTERS: Yes. Please don't show up.

GUTFELD: I would --

WATTERS: Take the week off.

GUILFOYLE: I love food -- I love "Food Court."

GUTFELD: I would recommend Jordan Peterson's book about 12 rules of life. She's on my show Saturday night at 10 p.m. Probably the best book of the year, I think.

BOOTHE: There you go.

WATTERS: Better than Comey's?

GUILFOYLE: Yes, right.

RIVERA: I wonder if Comey's book is going to sell.

GUTFELD: This is from -- this is the fan mail. This is from Splatford (ph). Is that your name, "Splatford"? "If you could enter the set, 'The Five' set like a professional wrestler, what would be your entrance music?" Geraldo.

RIVERA: Definitely something Springsteen-esque.

GUTFELD: Really?

RIVERA: Yes, I loved his show. I love that -- something really pounding.

GUTFELD: All right. Strange.



GUTFELD: What kind of music?

GUILFOYLE: Well, when I wrestle, I like to use my legs. So it might be, like, ZZ Top "Legs" or "Iron Man."

GUTFELD: Black Sabbath. One of the classics, I must say.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Music compilation.

GUTFELD: Jesse, anything from the Cyndi Lauper vein?

WATTERS: "It's Raining Men"?

GUTFELD: That's the -- that's the Weather Girls.


WATTERS: "Jesse's Girl"?

GUTFELD: I don't know why I know that.

Go ahead.

WATTERS: I'm thinking maybe Jay-Z, something like that.

GUTFELD: I could see that.

WATTERS: That's kind of who I am.

GUTFELD: That's who you are.

BOOTHE: New York. I think about this all the time, but I can never think of the specific song. I think just something really aggressive and --

GUILFOYLE: Come out to for wrestling?

BOOTHE: Yes. So like, you walk out and it's completely -- it's just like super, like, "Grr, I'm going to get you," and people don't anticipate it.

GUTFELD: I would use "Feelings."

BOOTHE: But I don't know the song.

GUTFELD: "Feelings." Nothing more than feelings. Trying to --

WATTERS: "Feelings"? You'd get body slammed in a heartbeat. Really.


GUTFELD: Here's a great question, Kathy G. Be very careful how you answer this question.

GUILFOYLE: Why are you looking at me?

GUTFELD: "Where do you see yourselves professionally in two years?" That's a perfect amount of time to make you wonder.

GUILFOYLE: You know why?


GUILFOYLE: Contract's up.

GUTFELD: Kathy G. does not work at Fox.

RIVERA: That would be my 50th year.



RIVERA: Fiftieth year in the business.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God, the vault has everything in there. I love it.

GUTFELD: There's nothing in that vault.

WATTERS: Oh! From the top rope!

GUILFOYLE: My brother and I stayed up all night, like, three inches from the TV.

GUTFELD: I couldn't resist it. She set that one up. Jesse, where do you see yourself in two years?

WATTERS: I want to see myself here.


WATTERS: And I think you do, too.

GUTFELD: I do, too.

Lisa, to you. These are goals, aims, plans.

BOOTHE: There's only one way to answer this. Fox News.

GUTFELD: Very good.

GUILFOYLE: Guest host for "The Greg Gutfeld Show."

GUTFELD: Yes. I hope not to see myself in jail. That would be -- like, I have very low aims. Because I'm a low person.

GUILFOYLE: It's a shame, though. You've become the quiet type. Boring.

BOOTHE: Is there something that you're doing when nobody's around?

GUTFELD: No, I have no idea. If I did, I wouldn't say anything.

BOOTHE: Something nefarious --


GUTFELD: Not opioids.

BOOTHE: Is it opioids?

GUILFOYLE: No. He can't vote between what food he's going to eat. And like --

RIVERA: I'd like to see the Trump administration calm everything down. I'd like to have a calm country.

GUTFELD: It will never happen. Chaos is calm.

And on that note, "One More Thing" is up next.


GUILFOYLE: OK. Time for "One More Thing." Jesse.

WATTERS: OK. So "Watters World" this weekend, we have a pot pastor from the Cannabis Church.


WATTERS: Mile High, Denver, Colorado.

RIVERA: Where do I sign up?

WATTERS: No, Geraldo, the pews are full. He's -- yes, he's being sued, and he's been raided a few times on 4/20 while they were just trying to enjoy a nice quiet Sunday. And we also have our favorite ladies, Diamond and Silk. Greg's favorite.


WATTERS: And Kellyanne Conway, as well. Big show. Tune in.

GUILFOYLE: Is that Gorka?

WATTERS: Not Gorka. Not Gorka.

GUTFELD: No Gorka.

WATTERS: Maybe next week.

GUILFOYLE: Maybe next week.

GUTFELD: Next week, 80 percent more Gorka.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.

WATTERS: Can't have too much.

GUTFELD: We have to tease it. Exactly.

GUILFOYLE: That's a good ad. All right. Greggins.

GUTFELD: All right. Saturday night, 10 o'clock. This is going to be one heck of a show. No. 1, Dr. Jordan Peterson. If you don't know him, he's essentially the godfather of the Internet. He's an amazing psychologist philosopher, just an amazing person.

And an amazing actor Dan Roebuck. You might remember him from "The Fugitive," and I think he was a regular on "Matlock." He did a great movie in '87 called "The River's Edge" with Dennis Hopper, Keanu Reeves and Crispin Glover. He played a killer, and it was fantastic.

Of course, you've got Kat Timpf and you're got Tyrus. He's back and better than ever. That's 10 o'clock Saturday. Check your local listings and buy me a beer when you see me.

GUILFOYLE: Is that it?

GUTFELD: No, I'm going to keep going.

GUILFOYLE: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) Do you only have one today?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

WATTERS: Phoning it in on Friday.

GUILFOYLE: Charming. All right.

WATTERS: The podcast.

GUTFELD: Oh, the podcast! Oh, by the way, Thomas Sowell (ph). Thomas Sowell on my podcast.

WATTERS: I was kidding about that.

GUTFELD: Next week I have Thomas Sowell. The legend.



GUILFOYLE: He's actually -- I've interviewed him.

All right. Time for Kimberly's famous promotion. The hit Fox News series, "Legends and Lies," is back for its third season on the Sunday. And this time it is the story of the Civil War, a topic that, as we know, resonates to this day. It's a fascinating period of history. Sunday's episode is riveting with America's escalating crisis over slavery leading to the first shots fired at Fort Sumter. Here's a clip.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: One section of this country believes slavery to be right. The other belongs it to be wrong. That's where the fight is here. We must act of faith, not fear.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Fire! Reload! Fire!



GUILFOYLE: You don't want to miss it. And it's going to be hosted by one of our favorites here at Fox -- everybody's favorite -- Brian Kilmeade.

GUTFELD: Boo, I hate him.

GUILFOYLE: Doing a fantastic job. Very jealous. He does such a good job when he's in for you.

GUTFELD: That's not his real hair, you know. "Legends and Lies: The Civil War" on Sundays at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. Eastern on the Fox News Channel, beginning this week.

RIVERA: What a mean thing to say.

GUTFELD: I know.

GUILFOYLE: He's not a nice person.

Let's go to someone who's nice.

BOOTHE: In honor of filling in for Dana today, and it's National Puppy Day. This is my little dog Stella. I was going to bring pictures in, but it's more fun to bring her.

GUTFELD: Very well-behaved.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. Growling. She wants to bite you.

GUTFELD: She's a smart dog.

BOOTHE: I don't know. She's going to bite.

GUILFOYLE: She's going to bite. Step away from the dog.

OK -- don't need another dog -- Geraldo.

RIVERA: I am so proud of my latest book. It's a memoir of "The Geraldo Rivera Show." It's -- obviously, it's about the war years, Afghanistan and Iraq. But a funny thing happened after I finished writing it. We had all the turmoil here at Fox News. The publisher cancelled my first contract because it was sympathetic to Roger Ailes, our founder. So I had to re- write everything as history changed.

And then, guess what? Donald Trump got elected president, someone I've known for 40 years. So I talked about my friendship with the president.

Here, let me give them out.

GUILFOYLE: Thank you. Congratulations.

GUTFELD: Why don't you read us a chapter, Geraldo?

RIVERA: I'll read you a -- it's for you and Bella the dog.

GUILFOYLE: Very nice.

WATTERS: Thank you very much.

RIVERA: You know, it talks about how, you know, my wife, Erica, and I see so differently.

It's switched.

GUTFELD: Cheech Marin has a blurb on the back.

My eyesight's bad. "Best buds." That's very funny, you're best buds with Cheech Marin.

GUILFOYLE: Bill Hemmer.

GUTFELD: -- weed. We never did that together.

GUILFOYLE: Sean Hannity.

GUTFELD: Sean Hannity. Bill Hemmer. Excellent.

GUILFOYLE: General Campbell.

RIVERA: It talks about how Erica and I have political arguments that we never had before. Now we have a divided family. We have a mixed marriage.

GUILFOYLE: You have a wonderful marriage.

RIVERA: A wonderful marriage. It's just that I support the president. And Erica and her friends don't.

GUTFELD: I'm not in the index, Geraldo.

GUILFOYLE: The Puerto Ricans were --

GUTFELD: How dare you?

GUILFOYLE: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of "The Five." Have a great weekend, everyone. "Special Report" up next.

Content and Programming Copyright 2018 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2018 CQ-Roll Call, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of CQ-Roll Call. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.