Trump attacks Biden following the former VP's latest gaffe

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 9, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Dan Bongino, Dona Brazile, Lawrence Jones and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City and this is "The Five."

President Trump not backing down as outrage from the left intensifies over a fundraiser hosted by the chairman of Equinox and Soulcycle. The president in New York earlier today for the event at Hamptons home of CEO Stephen Ross. The outrage growing while celebrities are cancelling their memberships and urging others to boycott the trendy gyms. Some in the media taking the attacks even further believe it or not.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I want pitch forks and torches outside this man's house in the Hamptons. I've been to the Hamptons. It's very nice. There is no reason why it has to be.

DONNY DEUTSCH, MSNBC HOST: You don't get to say I am for racial equality and all these good things. I disagree with him there, but I like his economic views happens (ph). No, you own it. You own the blood that (inaudible). You own -- Charlottesville -- you can't do it. You get the whole package and that's what swing voters have got to understand and be shamed into.


PERINO: President Trump responding by defending Stephen Ross and saying the backlash well, it's going to backfire.


DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Stephen Ross is a great friend of mine. He is a very successful guy. By the way, I think he is probably more inclined to be a liberal if you want to know the truth. But he likes me. He respects me. The controversy makes Steve much hotter. They will figure that out in about a week. But he is very happy. He's got a very successful -- a lot of people are going. I guess they are going to raise $11 or $12 million. Not billion. Million.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: But Mr. President, when you talk --

TRUMP: I'm getting used to say billion. We're talking about a lot of money.


PERINO: And he was right. The RNC just put out a notice that President Trump raised $12 million today. So, the campaign is awash in money, Dan.

DAN BONGINO, HOST: You know, how sorry and sad of a life do you have to have to be focused on these endless boycotts all the time? I mean, seriously, go to your kid's soccer game Hit a baseball. Have popcorn. Go to a movie.

And here's a difference between the right and left boycotts. I know we talked about this yesterday a little bit, but you know, the right usually boycotts things because people's companies crap all over America or because the people's way of life. Things are important. You know, the Betsy Ross flag thing, people kneeling in front of the flag.

The left boycotts on the dumbest things ever. So you get this guy Ross who is clearly not a conservative by the way, put out a very, you know, nice statements, and listen, I don't agree with everything Donald Trump says. I engage both Democrats and Republicans. Clearly wants to get some conversation going with the president.

And they sit there and they boycott like they have nothing else to do. I mean, where are the soccer moms that go to a soccer game? Dad, go to a game, enjoy your life. Stop boycotting everything. I mean, is there a list of all the liberal boycotts. This stuff is so silly.

PERINO: I did wonder, Greg, about Danny Deutsch was saying that you own everything. So if you support a politician that that means you own everything they say. I don't live my life like that.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: I think it's better to try to be Danny Trejo and not be Donny Deutsch-bag, because this wisest (ph) boycott, especially disruptive, because you are linking innocent people to a horrific event.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: And then you instigate a mob on twitter. So what you're doing is create the target and you mobilize a mob. I mean, this action, mob action. It's not really a boycott. It's more like get them. Get these people. And the great thing --


GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, pitchfork. He actually said it. So the great thing about "The Five" is that we can actually read the mood of a nation. You know what, even if we want to say certain things, we wake up every morning and we ask ourselves whether we're going to be a plus or a minus, right. We're going to --

PERINO: I'm a plus.

GUTFELD: You are a plus! I tried it. I'm plus size, but viewers -- I think our viewers are no different. They don't want to go to -- they don't go to work thinking I'm going to make somebody pay. And I think at MSNBC, you got to ask yourself like, do you want to wake up every morning and make a terrible week worse, because that's what you are doing.

You are actually -- they are not reading the mood of the nation. They are not checking the thermostat. If they check the thermostat, they wouldn't keep turning it up. And what they're doing, they're saying people have blood up -- swing voters have blood on their hands.

You are demonizing, you're escalating the demonization and that just makes the matters worse. You can disagree with people and wait it out and calm down, but this isn't right. It's not right.

PERINO: What do you think about that Donna in terms of when people criticize the president, his supporters tend to think that that criticism is also aimed at them?

DONNA BRAZILE, CONTRIBUTOR: And people felt the same way when people went after personalities, media personalities went after President Obama. Look, the outrage machine is pretty active on both sides. I recall a couple of months ago when I got a message that I couldn't go to Home Depot, all right. And then --

PERINO: And why was that -- what was the --

BRAZILE: This was because the owner of Home Depot had made a comment that he was going to give to the president's campaign. Unfortunately, I was one of those people that for years begged for Home Depot to come into the inner city of Washington, D.C. and that was my go to place because I like to pick up dirt, the real kind.

But, then I'm like, oh, god, I have a coupon. I need to go to Home Depot before the boycott begins. And I'll never forget, that afternoon I ran to Home Depot and I wanted to put on a disguise but I realized no one looks like me so why not.

I remember when some people on the right, they were criticizing Netflix. They say boycott Netflix. Boycott Orioles.

PERINO: That didn't work.

BRAZILE: I cannot. Boycott -- wait, I've got a list -- Starbucks, Wayfair, Nike -- this is -- AT&T. The president tweeted that. So, stop the outrage machine. This is free speech. When you decide to get -- if you run for Congress again, I might give you a nickel or two. I'm not giving you all my money.

BONGINO: I will never run for Congress.

BRAZILE: All my money.

BONGINO: You have my commitment on "The Five." No way.

BRAZILE: All right, but I might give you -- I might even throw a fundraiser because I know you and I like you, OK.

BONGINO: Wow. That's very nice of you.

BRAZILE: But the point -- hell yeah!

BONGINO: I'd really appreciate that.

BRAZILE: Do you think I am scared?


BRAZILE: Hell no!

BONGINO: Really not.

BRAZILE: And you better wear your Sunday best, honey. And by the way, I feel sick.

PERINO: Lawrence, did you go to the gym today? You said yesterday was a little light. How about today?

JONES: Yes, they're light today as well.

PERINO: Is the boycott working?

JONES: I think its working and I don't care because I've been waiting for the --

BRAZILE: What gym did you go to?

JONES: Equinox, as I always do because it's a clean gym and that's the only thing I care about.

GUTFELD: It is the cleanest gym. It is the cleanest gym.

JONES: It's very clean, right? The point that bothers me about this entire debate is the hypocrisy -- hypocrisy in saying that the president is the only one that's escalating things, right? The Democrats and the president aren't far apart when it comes to tone of things. But it's only one side telling the other side to calm down.

I think America's at this breaking point right now where everything is being taken so personal. The only difference is that the Democrats like to call the Republicans hateful people, right. Any time that we like something then we are the racists.

And they also are the ones that like us, we saw on T.V. saying show up to people's homes with pitch forks. When we don't like something, either there is a boycott but there is not any antagonizing coming with guns and just intimidate people.

PERINO: Also you could say -- but also, it's like you say you don't like it and then you go on --

JONES: Right. And you just go --

PERINO: -- and you go to dinner and you to a soccer game.

JONES: Right. Right.

PERINO: But I do want to play this for -- I'm going to play the sound bite and --

BRAZILE: But why do we call these people Democrats?

JONES: Because they are Democrats.

BRAZILE: I don't know they are party affiliated.

PERINO: Donna, let me play this sound from President Trump. Remember we talked about that movie yesterday that was coming out and --

GUTFELD: "The Hunt."

PERINO: Yes, the hunting and the people or all of that stuff. President Trump --

GUTFELD: Hunting and the people.

PERINO: -- was asked about that today at the White House and he had this to say.


TRUMP: But Hollywood is really terrible. You talk about racism. Hollywood is racist. What they are doing with the kind of movies they are putting out is actually very dangerous for our country. What Hollywood is doing is a tremendous disservice to our country.

We have now in a little while, all of the heads of the biggest companies coming in and we're going to talk to them. They treat conservatives and Republicans totally different than they treat others. They can't do that.


PERINO: He started off talking about Hollywood kind of punching back, Greg.

GUTFELD: Well, I mean, this is always going to be, you know, Hollywood is the land of the left and so there's always going to be this conflict, but the last couple of days we have seen a lot of incidents happening at Wal- Mart. But it is really because of this galvanized hyper-intense coverage we've seen in Springfield, Missouri and Florida and Washington.

And the thing is, it's not just about the left versus the right and these people suck and these people don't. It's that the fact that this continues and that it keeps escalating. And that what happens is you have lonely, alienated individuals who see this as an opportunity for infamy, and that's what I worry about.

JONES: It's also, the coverage is also agenda driven, right, because when it came down to Chicago and 59 people shot, right, and seven people killed, the media was utterly silent when it came to that. And so I think the media because they have decided to pick teams and pick issues, they only cover it when it's hate-filled.

But I think any murder, no matter if they had an agenda to kill Mexican or they're killing people because of drugs should be covered. But that's not what we are seeing here.

BRAZILE: Well, let's make a distinction between the local media and the national media because I do know that local media often cover these stories. National media, national cable, we tend to get into this outrage stuff and it sells. I don't know, right?

GUTFELD: Yes. And the problem is, what the local media is, local media is suffering because everybody -- because it can't survive in the era of online stuff so all the newspaper are gone.

BONGINO: I think the outrage stuff too but why aren't they outraged about what's happening in Chicago?

JONES: It should be.

BRAZILE: They are.

PERINO: I think that most of the media --

JONES: No, they're not. They --


BONGINO: -- nationally. Why aren't they?

BRAZILE: They should be outraged. They should be outraged --

JONES: Because of agenda. Its agenda --


BRAZILE: Whether it's killing nationally or locally. That is untrue.

BONGINO: No. It's because -- no, it's because it's (inaudible) Democrats, that's why.

BRAZILE: You're treating murder as a red versus blue. Murder is murder.

BONGINO: No question.

PERINO: That is a good way to end the segment because we have more coming up. Watch this.


TRUMP: Joe Biden is not playing with a full deck. This is not somebody you could have as your president.


PERINO: We got details on that ahead.


BRAZILE: Oh god, it's Friday and President Trump is going after Joe Biden over his latest campaign misstep. This after the 2020 front runner had a slip of the tongue in Iowa.


JOE BIDEN, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: We should challenge students in these schools. They have advanced placement programs in these schools. We have this notion that somehow if you are poor you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids, wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids. No, I really mean it, but think how we think about it.


BRAZILE: Well, well, well. The vice-president quickly corrected himself but that didn't stop President Trump from taking a swipe at Joe Biden.


TRUMP: Look, Joe is not playing with a full deck. He made that comment. I said, whoa! I saw it because I was on something. I had a television. I saw his comment. Joe Biden is not playing with a full deck. This is not somebody you could have as your president. But if he got the nomination, I would be thrilled.


BRAZILE: Oh my god. So, I don't want to get into the substance. Let me get into the superficial. So, Joe Biden has been known to, you know, misspeak from time to time.

BONGINO: You think?

BRAZILE: It really was a slippery slop but he quickly gained his footing and got it right and said wealthy kid.

BONGINO: You're really dancing on this one?

BRAZILE: I am dancing. You want -- I can -- but you know what? He picked his step up.

JONES: No, but he always slips with black people. Remember Obama was an educated, articulate --

BONGINO: He was clean.

GUTFELD: Clean. He was clean.

JONES: -- cold shower -- clean -- clean. And with the Democrats already having a problem not with the black vote but black voters actually showing up to the polls, even though they may not vote for Republicans, they may stay at home because the Democratic Party is not doing a good job to get those votes. And look, I'm sorry, if this is the best that the Democrats have to go against Donald Trump, it's going to be a sad, sad day.

PERINO: But doesn't -- I know your leading (ph) the segment, Donna, but I will ask you. Isn't it true that so far Joe Biden has been able to hold the highest amount of support for African-Americans voters?

BRAZILE: His support -- his support among African-Americans after Kamala Harris went after him in the first debate, his support almost doubled. Kamala was -- she had a double digit, you know, percentage with black voters. After that "interchange," Joe Biden's support went up.

JONES: We saw that with Hillary too, though.

BRAZILE: I don't think this is about taking anyone for granted because we know that black voters right now are still with the Democratic candidates. What I do believe is that Joe Biden, when he is having these riffs, talking about every child deserves a shot, every child is -- he slipped. Maybe in his mind he thought white, but he was trying to say wealthy. I don't know how you make that slip but he made it.

GUTFELD: The thing is, I mean, I tend to agree with you but I just know that if a Republican would have done that --

JONES: Oh god.

GUTFELD: -- my god, he would have been barbecued. But his gaffes are not new. What's new is when he gets through a thought without a gaff. There was some that I think one of our producer has an interesting piece of tape. Do we have that? Let's listen to this. Thank you.


BIDEN: We excuse unity over division. We choose science over fiction. We choose truth over facts.


GUTFELD: So, I mean, that to me is better because he like to, you know, he's almost -- I mean, this is the biggest fight of his life and he is doing it in his 8th decade. I would be really -- if I was in the Democratic Party I would be worried. This is early.

BRAZILE: But Dana, do you recall how many gaffs had President Trump made in the last six weeks of the 2016 election?

PERINO: I do, except for I feel like kind of what's happening with Biden, the people who supported President Trump, it just made them even more endeared to him and I think that that's happened for Biden as well.

BRAZILE: And here's the thing, here's what people should know about Joe Biden. He has one of the best civil rights record of any politician running today and I say that out of respect for a lot of people including Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris and Cory Booker, et cetera. The fact is, is that he's been on the front lines fighting civil rights, equal justice, women --

JONES: I don't know if black and black --


BRAZILE: So, I don't think this is going to hurt him.

BONGINO: -- Donald Trump has his great --

BRAZIL: I think Joe Biden will be careful next time.

GUTFELD: Has Biden freed a rapper? Trump has.

BONGINO: But this -- he said Joe Biden is the Teddy Ruxpin of gaffes. You drop a quarter and a gaffe comes out. Remember that?


BONGINO: And it wasn't even the Obama's clean line. That was awful. He was -- remember the line -- he was the first African-American, not the first black man or woman I've ever met who was clean and articulate. It was just -- yet if a Republican had said that, it would be over. But this is fascinating, your standard here. He has a good record on civil rights.

BRAZILE: He has a great record.

BONGINO: So, Donald Trump, historically low black and Latino unemployment and yet everything Donald Trump says is a dog whistle. Donald Trump's talking -- that's a dog whistle. He's a racist.

BRAZILE: Because --

BONGINO: Wait, wait, no. Hold on.

BRAZILE: I know what you're saying.

BONGINO: Donald Trump lowered flags to half staff on August 8th. Numerology guy from the FBI goes on MSDNC and says this is clearly a reference the Arian Brotherhood in the prison. You're like, is this guy insane? So what I don't get is, is there a standard here or not? Is Joe Biden not going to be held to account by the media?

BRAZILE: Was that a slip? You said M-S-D-N-C. Was that a slip?

BONGINO: No, that is what they do. They're all --

BRAZILE: All right. I just wanted to make sure.

BONGINO: They had a really rough week with the numerology guy.

BRAZILE: Well, here's what I do know, is that Joe Biden is strong. If he wins the Democratic nomination, we don't know. I believe he will get 90 percent more of the black vote. We'll see.

BONGINO: But can I ask you (inaudible). How is that not a dog whistle?

BRAZILE: That's not a dog whistle.

BONGINO: Slipping of the tongue by going -- when you say something like hey, they're as smart as the white kids?

BRAZILE: He's saying poor kids, poor. He didn't say black kids. He said poor kids.

BONGINO: Yes, but what does do being white?

BRAZILE: Look, poor kids --

BONGINO: Listen --

BRAZILE: -- he corrected himself. He misspoke.


BRAZILE: He did not say poor kids --

JONES: He makes his mistakes all the time.

BRAZILE: Look, without Joe Biden we wouldn't have anything to talk about on Friday.

GUTFELD: Yes, but in a way, can I just make one point. The gaffes between -- to your point about Trump and the gaffes of Biden, Trump's gaffes don't seem related to age whereas Biden, it makes it feel like he is slowing. He is slowing down. I think that's the concern.

PERINO: Yes, I think that people might say Trump's gaffes -- they bring up other connotation not age --

BRAZILE: Oh my god, they bring up a lot.

PERINO: -- because like then he's mean or that he's like, you know, that - -

BRAZILE: Insensitive.

PERINO: -- I think that they both have their supporters.

GUTFELD: Trump is getting younger.

BRAZILE: All right. Folks, New York Democrats --

BONGINO: Benjamin Button.

BRAZILE: -- New York Democrats, not all New York Democrats, but maybe a few, are blocking a bill that would make it a felony for dowsing the cops. Let's talk about this in the next segment.


BONGINO: Two stories that highlight the utter lunacy of the left. First, we've been showing you the disgraceful water bucket attacks on our police. Now Democrats here in New York State are blocking a Republican bill that would make it a felony to dump water on cops.

One liberal state lawmaker is calling the proposal a "major overreaction." Greg, this has me a little fired up because I think as a former police officers myself, I don't think anyone has started to do the practical implications of this.

Number one, there is obvious. There could be a chemical in there. Likely (inaudible), but it could happen and it's worthy enough that we shouldn't do. But secondly, their equipment is electronic. Their radios, some of their equipment -- has anybody thought of this?

If you can dump water on cops, you can render a lot of their communications gear completely infective. Why would any sane person -- and I just say that and I thought (inaudible) cop story really pisses me off.

You know, I say to anyone who objects to this, you know, get your butts out of the chair and get your butt in a uniform or go do a ride along with a cop one day and see the crap they have to deal with. And then think it's -- then tell me its unfair t, you know --

GUTFELD: The problem with this kind of thing is that nobody like -- if a cop reacts to this, the defense, it was just water. It was just water.


GUTFELD: What are you supposed to do? So I think this -- the fact that the Democrats are blocking this is born from a fear of the reaction from activists, which is what has been -- it's like, will they come after me? Will they shout at me at a meeting? Will they come after me on twitter? So they're willing to sacrifice the safety of the police and the community that they police so they don't get swarmed by activists.

BRAZILE: So, the lawmaker who introduced this bill in Albany. I looked it up. First of all, my Uncle Nat retired from the New York police department. My cousin Marky (ph), was injured on the job and as a result, he is not able to work. I still have a cousin in New Orleans on active duty, so I take what's happening here in New York very seriously.

It's not just water, and we think that's harmless, it's not. Some of us who've been hit by a water bottle know it's not harmless. But they are also throwing rocks and concrete. So, this is clearly a crime. They've arrested some people.

The question is, before Albany is, will these individuals be charged with a felony? And some of the Democrats oppose the, whatever, the sentence. They want it to be a misdemeanor. But the bottom line this is wrong, people! This is wrong. These are men and women that we pay to protect us, to be there when we need them. Not to throw water or concrete or bottles. So please, lighten up. Do not do this. This is bad. And the police will arrest you.

BONGINO: You know --

GUTFELD: Problem is, where do you put them? Because you're going to -- we're closing up Ryker's.

BONGINO: I was a cop --

PERINO: But I think that if it is a felony, that you are less likely to do it.


BONGINO: Well, here's a problem --

PERINO: But if it's a misdemeanor, then you don't care.


BONGINO: When I was on the street and when you're a rookie, you get the foot post. If you didn't do anything about this, Dana, it lent to a sense of street chaos where the guys talk to their friends and they'd say, hey, I just, you know, went up to Officer Reagan and spit on his back and nothing happened. Next thing you know, it graduates through that incident we had in New York City where they dropped a bag of concrete on someone (inaudible) and killed him.

PERINO: I think I just go back to like when I was a kid, like, my parents would never put up with anything like that. And we have to -- absolutely have to have consequences.

BRAZILE: We were scared of cops in my house. We were scared of them.

PERINO: Well, I think there are big consequences for treating law enforcement that way. And if it's a felony, that means there is less likely to do it. If it's a misdemeanor, it's like, oh, it doesn't really matter. Like for example, being able to urinate in public and now you can't even get a ticket --

GUTFELD: I told you, it was an emergency, Dana.

JONES: I've talked to a lot of these cops. A lot of them have been protesting at de Blasio at a lot of these events, these presidential debates. Part of it is because of the environment that he is setting this community and I think that speaks to a lot. He would not even condemn a lot of this stuff on "Hannity" the other night.

PERINO: No, he didn't.

BONGINO: All right, we got topic number two. You're never going to believe this. Well, you may if you want. Liberals in California would rather protect rats, yes rats, than prevent the plague. The states going homelessness crisis has caused a major rodent infestation problem, but Democrats there are pushing a bill that would ban a stronger rat poison.

Lawrence, I'll just go back to you on this one. You know, the era of Donald Trump has liberals defending late term abortion, healthcare for illegals, Kim Jong-un, now rodents apparently. Yes, they were all on his side when he was going after President Trump.

JONES: So, I've been going to a lot of these liberal cities, right, and have survey. And part of the Trump effect is it makes Democrats take responsibility for their cities, the cities that they have control. And they try to paint these cities as these peaches and cream. But I talk to the residents all the time and they talk about how bad they are. The rat thing is just another example of it, but I don't know. What do you think?

BRAZILE: You know, first of all, I'm glad I'm on this show because as an American, I'm offended by rats, period. I don't like vermin. I'm not the person to talk about it. I'm not the person to defend it.

GUTFELD: It sounds like you have a personal issue rats.

BONGINO: I don't mind.

BRAZILE: Very, very. I've come in contact with a few in my life and let me just say, there is no good rat. There is no good rat recipe. There is no good rat. There is no way of befriending a rat. I am ratted out. I will rat you out if you try to deal with a rat. I don't like rat.

BONGINO: This is--

BRAZILE: It's like you know it's like when someone say, Donna, you see the snake. No, I killed the snake.

JONES: But why the builders acting like these thing--

BRAZILE: No, no.

PERINO: I think that's what happened like with DDT. Right. Basically, the opposition to DDT was, we're concerned, this is about raticide, this is about actual chemicals that will actually work. And now like, well, what if it gets into the water. What if a cat eats a rat and then it's in the cat?

GUTFELD: Mutant cats.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: A mutant, you have a cat that gets eaten by--

BRAZILE: That's the issue. Dana is absolutely right. The worry here is that by poisoning these rats that we're poisoning the environment. BONGINO: Right. But we don't live in a world of simple solution. The plague--

GUTFELD: This comes down to, it really comes down to a cowardice to actually act. I mean the fact is decay and dystopia, it doesn't happen overnight.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: It just happens.


GUTFELD: And right now, there are people that are reluctant to take action in these growing kinds of - this alternative universe that's on the streets of L.A.

JONES: It's nasty.

GUTFELD: And it is, it's good to spread the plague.

BRAZILE: The action they should take is to make housing more affordable for everybody.

GUTFELD: It's not a housing problem.

PERINO: First of all, you have to take care of the rats.

GUTFELD: I wish it could be a housing, we could have built more, but it's not a housing problem because most of the people there are mentally ill, or drug addicted as Dr. Drew has pointed out. And they don't want to leave the streets.

PERINO: And also, we have to give more resources for cities to be able to pick up the trash.

BONGINO: I just want to say I want to--

BRAZILE: Maybe we can knock rats out.


BRAZILE: Honestly, I can't stand rats.


BONGINO: Squirrels with tails what's the problem. I mean I don't want them in my house, I'm just saying like down in Florida, the tree rats are everywhere. Matter of fact when I left my house the first day, I moved in there was a dead rat at my drive and I thought someone had found me and it was a political statement.

BRAZILE: I grew up near the Mississippi River and river rats. I hate rats.

BONGINO: It's me defending. A baseball fan - pitch job, I know I just said it. We're doing it. Why cats don't care about your feelings I just blew that whole thing all in the Fastest 7 coming up next. But don't go anywhere, we'll be back.


JONES: Welcome back to The Five. Time for the Fastest 7. First up, baseball fans dream about what it would be like to play professionally. Well one lucky guy just got a lot closer to making it a reality. It happened after he was caught throwing the heat during a speed challenge at a Colorado Rockies game.


JONES: That's Nathan Patterson throwing a 96 miles per hour. And because of that viral video he got signed to a minor league deal with the Oakland A's.


JONES: That's pretty dope.

BRAZILE: That one the spitball. That was a fast ball. I like that.

BONGINO: I was Logan Airport once on a bush trip in Kennebunkport. We used to fly at Logan because it was cheaper, and I ate five Egg McMuffins. And the guy next was quite impressed. And I wanted to see, what if he would have invited me on one of those Nathan's contest. I could have been like that kid who wins all the time.

GUTFELD: Everybody has this fantasy that like you will be discovered with your secret talent.

JONES: It is true though. It can happen.

BONGINO: Eating like a slob is my talent.

GUTFELD: Stripping in Queens.

JONES: Start from the bottom.


PERINO: I love that. And the fact that happened in Colorado. I think that's great. I don't really have any special talents but--

GUTFELD: Oh! Come on.

PERINO: I'll be on the lookout, and I will film you and then I'll get you on Greg Gutfeld Show and you'll be famous.

JONES: That's serious though.

BRAZILE: That is serious.

PERINO: I'm a speed reader, but you don't really get signed to the Rockies.

JONES: A 96 mile an hour fastball.

GUTFELD: People would say to see you speed read.


GUTFELD: Stadiums and you're just sitting on the desk; it will be fantastic. I would be there.

BRAZILE: I guarantee you in two years this guy will be in the majors. He will be in the majors.

JONES: That's a serious fastball. 96 mile an hour.

GUTFELD: Although, we didn't really see it, did we. It might have just been a sound they made.


JONES: I don't know. All right. Up next, you can always count on your siblings to call you. I know mines do. And one Instagram user is learning the hard way. She posted a photo boasting about the healing power of nature and tagged a trending hiking trail. But her sister just had to bust her.

It turns out the picture was completely staged, and the caption is just simply priceless. "My sister said she was going hiking. This is our backyard." You know what, I cannot stand Instagram celebrities, so I'm pretty excited that her busted. Donna.

BRAZILE: My sister busted me. She once called me, she said what's in your hair look like a Brillo pad. So, I don't know how that goes. Love you.

BONGINO: My brother was watching this show yesterday, he was very offended at something I said. He's like you are really a sports idiot, aren't you? He goes that quarterback you said he's trying out for the team Baker Mayfield is like one of the best quarterbacks, you dope. He's like you just humiliated yourself in front of the whole country.

PERINO: He was like ashamed.

BONGINO: He was. He was embarrassed. He's like I'm changing my last name to get away from you after this.

GUTFELD: We need more of this kind of Instagram shaming because the lifestyle of status boasting is too much. I mean like we never used to see people that were richer than us or better looking than us or physically better--

PERINO: We kind of knew they were there.

GUTFELD: We just knew. Now, Instagram is an hour really hourly reminder that there is somebody better than you.

JONES: That is not true.

GUTFELD: And it's a parade of inequality.


GUTFELD: It's a parade of inequality. And it makes people so unhappy.

JONES: Because no one post the bad stuff.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

PERINO: There was a whole article about that The New York Post today was about keeping up with the Paltrow's and it was about how hard it is in the Hamptons if you don't have a subzero fridge because your neighbors have one.

GUTFELD: Wait a minute. I mean everybody--

PERINO: I mean they were making fun of themselves.

BONGINO: Come on. Who doesn't have?

GUTFELD: Who doesn't have a subzero or maybe 10 years ago and everywhere you go, there is a subzero fridge.

JONES: You can always depend on your siblings to humble you though.

BRAZILE: They will humble you.

JONES: Finally, ever wonder why your cats won't do what you say. Like when you call their name over and over and over and nothing. Well, according to a new study, your cat is actually choosing to ignore you. That's right. Little sprinkles know what you're saying, but they literally don't care about your feelings. I hate cats.

BRAZILE: So, my sister had a cat and she named Pickles and Pickles never responded to her name Pickles. And so, when I got to meet Pickles, I say, are you Minnie Moo, Minnie Moo Moo and the cat finally jumped on me. So, I think that cats are smart, they're smarter than dogs by the way. Although, I love dogs. I love dogs.

JONES: That's not true.

BONGINO: I don't think so. Cats are weirdos.

BRAZILE: But cats are smart.

BONGINO: I had a cat once and I lived in a basement apartment. But you could see the screen door so the cat would jump on the screen and hang there like this all day. I'm not kidding my neighbors came by and they thought it was a decoration. They said the weirdest decoration ever seen. Why do you have a cat decoration? You know that's an actual cat. He then ripped the screen one day and escaped, his name was Neve. And the cat left and--

PERINO: Never saw him again.

BONGINO: Never saw that cat. Cats are weirdo.

JONES: That can be evil.

GUTFELD: You should adopt the behavior of cat. If there was Twitter and Instagram for animals, cats would not be interested. They would not do - unless you were doxing the location of fish. Cat would not be on Twitter or Instagram, because they just could not be bothered with other people's opinions.

PERINO: Cats would be comfortably smug on Twitter.

GUTFELD: Yes. But dogs and parrots, they'd be on Twitter all the time.

PERINO: My sister has four rescue cats.

GUTFELD: You mean stray cats.

PERINO: She rescued four cats.

GUTFELD: Rescue in front of things. Yes, it's a rescue cat.

PERINO: Well, she did. She has a big heart for these cats, but one of them has diabetes. You have to give it medicine every 12 hours, it's a big commitment.


JONES: One thing I can say about cats. At least they take care of themselves. You don't have to take them out to use the restroom and all that. I'm just allergic and I don't like them.

BONGINO: Do you think they--

PERINO: Do you like dogs?

GUTFELD: Cats could, they eat it.

BRAZILE: His girlfriend wants a dog.

JONES: My girlfriend wants a dog and we're not doing very well.

PERINO: But you should absolutely get a dog.

BRAZILE: Get a dog.

PERINO: Just kidding in my book it says, don't get a dog.

BONGINO: Just don't try to walk in the rain like Dana tried.

JONES: Right. She's so rebellious.

BONGINO: You haven't seen Dana's tweet.

PERINO: I haven't plugged my book in a long time.

GUTFELD: Stubborn Jasper.

JONES: Anyway, we've got to go. Stay right there. Fan Mail Friday is next.


GUTFELD: Yes. Fan Mail Friday. Let's get to your questions. Good question from Kev, whatever that means. First thing in the morning, what can throw off your entire day. Think about it, Dana.

PERINO: I just remember there is one time, Peter got to the bathroom and Jasper got on the bed on his spot and then Peter was going to get back into bed and then he yelled at Jasper. And I mean I didn't talk to him for several hours; it ruins my whole day.


PERINO: Yes. But he said he didn't really yell at Jasper. He was just speaking sharply.

GUTFELD: It seems like Jasper wears the pants. I'm just envisioning your dog wearing pants, which is impossible.

JONES: A bad phone call. Bad phone call. That's why I hate getting phone call if I go on air too.


JONES: Don't do it, an hour before, don't do it. It will throw me off.

GUTFELD: That's like an e-mail from like the boss.

JONES: Don't do it. Yes.

PERINO: Could you come see me next week.

GUTFELD: I had one where the boss did that on a Thursday. Hey, can you see me next, ruin my whole weekend, Donna, my whole weekend.

BRAZILE: When the paper boy, a paper man delivers my daily newspapers and leave them on the sidewall. Put it on my porch. I got my moo moo on. I don't want everybody to see what's on my moo moo.

GUTFELD: I'm going to get my moo moo on later. Dan.

BONGINO: You know for me it's always bad when I can't find my clothes, because I do these Fox and Friends hits in the morning. So, once awhile you'll get a text from Gavin and he'll be like, hey dude, can you do the 6:30 instead of 6:45. I just got up at 6:27, I will do it and I've got to run around for clothes and sometimes I got a pop on the air and you see but I bring it right there.

GUTFELD: You've got sweatpants on and a tie and a shirt.

BONGINO: You have no idea what's going on below. But it's really frightening. I don't want to put that public image in your head, but it really grows.

BRAZILE: You've got a male moo moo.

BONGINO: I would wear one on the air.

BRAZILE: All right.

BONGINO: That would be great.

GUTFELD: What movie do you hope they never remake. I'm going to say you know what minus is Love Actually. Worst movie ever made.

PERINO: I would say Carrie.

BONGINO: They did remake Carrie.

PERINO: Did they make it.

BONGINO: I think they did.

PERINO: I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies when I was growing up and I went to a slumber party and they were playing Carrie, and I think I'm scarred from it forever.

GUTFELD: And that was last year. You guys still have slumber parties don't you.

BONGINO: I didn't think that was that scary.

GUTFELD: You and Janice Dean--

PERINO: Shannon Bream.

GUTFELD: Shannon Bream. Dana Stein, they're all big slumber party and watch horror movies and do each other's hair. And prank call Lou Dobbs.

JONES: Tombstone. I hope they don't ever. That's my favorite movies.

GUTFELD: I know you're right.

JONES: Don't ever do that.

GUTFELD: It should be a great film that you don't remake.

JONES: Yes. It's western, Huckleberry that's where it comes from.

BRAZILE: Jaws. It has kept me out of the water for decades. I'm scared of big fish.

BONGINO: I was doing a Secret Service assignment at the Olympics and I watched The Exorcist extended cut in the middle of nowhere. When she comes down that stairs--

GUTFELD: That stairs like a spider.

BONGINO: Freaked me out forever.

GUTFELD: One of the greatest movies ever made.

BONGINO: You can't remake that.

GUTFELD: I would only have kids just so I could force them to watch The Exorcist.


GUTFELD: That's the only reason why I would have kids.

PERINO: What about Love Actually.

GUTFELD: Love Actually, because the first movie was so bad. Unless they re- did Love Actually in which they kill off each character.


GUTFELD: They combine it with like Evil Dead or something like that. Facebook question from Sheryl, what makes you roll your eyes every time you hear it. Dan.

BONGINO: Oh, my gosh what's that. When people say frankly, I hate it. I'm sorry.

PERINO: Really?

BONGINO: I hate it. You notice when I do - I try to say candidly and it's just because I'm objecting to the frankly people, everything is not frankly speaking. We get it. You're speaking frankly you've said it 25 times, can you use another word, please stop saying frankly. I hate it. I'm rolling my eyes even now. BRAZILE: I have so many that I'm just going to roll my eyes at you baby, and I hope I don't break my head.

JONES: This is going to get me in trouble, but I hate when people say where do we go from here. It's just like nails on - where do we go from here, what do you mean, where do we go from here.

GUTFELD: You know where we go, we have a national conversation.

JONES: Right. They say at the news all the time.

BONGINO: Can I - yes, I'm stealing Greg's, the national conversation. We need a national conversation.

JONES: Well, you can't say anything else.


GUTFELD: We can't have a national conversation because we yell at each other.

BRAZILE: Teachable moment.

GUTFELD: Teachable moment.

BRAZILE: Teachable moment, that's why I've got too many.

GUTFELD: Dana would you like to unpack this.

PERINO: This one is going to get me in trouble. But deep state, that one got me for a long time.

GUTFELD: You know why, because it exists.

BONGINO: I love that.

PERINO: I'm part of it.

GUTFELD: They've got you, Dana. Do I have a last - time for the last one? If you could be a member of any band in history which would it be and why? Quickly.

BONGINO: Pink Floyd.

BRAZILE: Earth (ph).

JONES: New addition (ph).

PERINO: I don't know. I mean I don't know any bands, really.

BRAZILE: The Gatlin band, Dana.

PERINO: Yes, the Gatlin Brothers.

GUTFELD: You would not let--


GUTFELD: I'm not going to even get into it. I have to say the Sex Pistols. That was a crazy time, the British punk.

PERINO: I want to be in the Clash.

GUTFELD: Clash would be great.

PERINO: I just said that because I thought you would like--

GUTFELD: Yes. They have great clothes. All right, One More Thing is up next. (COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Time now for One More Thing on this Friday.

GUTFELD: All right. Greg Gutfeld Show that's tomorrow night 10 PM. I got Terry Schappert; I've got Rob Long. I've got Kat Timpf, I've got Tyrus. That's tomorrow. 10 PM, August 10th. Watch it or I will never forgive you. Let's do one of these. Animals Are Great.

The only thing I like more than a hedgehog is a thirsty hedgehog. Dana, check out this, not just one thirsty hedgehog but I've got three thirsty hedgehogs Aren't they adorable? Now there is--

PERINO: How does this show that animals are great.

GUTFELD: Hedgehog--

PERINO: They're just drinking water.

GUTFELD: You know what I like their style. I like their concentrations.

BRAZILE: They're not rats, are they?

GUTFELD: No, they're not rats.

BRAZILE: All right.

PERINO: Kind of.

GUTFELD: They're sexy rats. That's what they are. And that's why, Animals Are Great.

PERINO: Hedgehogs are fine. But next time work on the video. All right. Earlier this week the South Bend Fire Department saved a pair of raccoons from a raging warehouse fire. So, these raccoons were on the top of the roof there and the fire broke out and the firemen figured out a way to help get them down. That's really going above and beyond to get two ladders and help these raccoons.

I don't know a lot of people especially my sister would not have helped those raccoons.

GUTFELD: A lot of people don't like racoons.

PERINO: The South Bend Fire Department said life safety and property conservation are their two priorities on a fire scene and that extends to all creatures. I don't know if Mayor Peter was involved.

BRAZILE: They look like rats. I'm not for it. I'm sorry.

PERINO: Dan, your turn.

BONGINO: This is a tremendous story. An American hero remains have finally returned home after going missing in 1967. Travelers in Dallas were able to witness an emotional moment when the plane carrying Vietnam veteran Colonel Roy Knight Junior's remains touched down.

Amazingly the veteran's son Captain Knight was the pilot flying the plane with his heroic father's remains. Captain Knight alongside the crew and a military guard saluted the Vietnam veteran as he returned home 52 years later, I've lost an uncle in Vietnam rather heroically God bless all of you who served you--

PERINO: Dan, and really interesting thing about this story too is that the son last saw his father at that airport where they flew back into.

BONGINO: What a story.

PERINO: An amazing eight story.

BRAZILE: Great story.

PERINO: Lawrence.

JONES: On this day in 1936, Jesse Owens, the son of Alabama sharecropper wins his fourth gold medal at the Berlin Olympians as the United States takes first place in the 400-meter relay. This was important as well because Hitler was there watching, and this was a major blow send a black man represent the United States. And it was a blow to his propaganda. Rest in peace.

PERINO: That's amazing video.

BRAZILE: Rest in peace.

PERINO: Donna.

BRAZILE: Well, happy birthday to Smokey the Bear. It's his 75th birthday. Many of us remember Smokey the Bear, the cartoon and that famous line, only you can prevent forest fires. Well, I still believe 75 years later, this bear is still a national treasure. So, happy birthday Smokey the Bear.

GUTFELD: I think Smokey the Bear was a very dangerous symbol because it convinced bears that they could wear hats and once bears start wearing hats and they start wearing shirts Hawaiian shirts, shorts--

PERINO: And then they just blend right in.

BRAZILE: Sexy Greg, something you might not understand.

GUTFELD: Look, I met a lot of bears in my time.

JONES: You have the tie.

PERINO: Did you have any--

BRAZILE: I know.

GUTFELD: Did I have any other questions.


GUTFELD: Let's see.

PERINO: OK, no. A moment from your childhood or early adulthood that you're glad happened before the invention of cell phone cameras and social media.

GUTFELD: My entire life.

PERINO: Yes, entire life.

JONES: Everything.

GUTFELD: My entire life.

BRAZILE: Everything.

GUTFELD: None of us would have jobs.

JONES: I'm the young one, don't worry.

BRAZILE: Excuse us.

GUTFELD: Dana would be fine.

PERINO: No, I don't think so.

GUTFELD: Wait there was a dark side to Dana?

PERINO: Well not dark - Instagram my plane trip that my parents didn't know I went on.

BRAZILE: But I will have more pictures of my childhood and more pictures of my parents, so I'm a little sad.

PERINO: Yes. We wish you had more pictures.


PERINO: All right. That's it for us. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend everybody from all of us at "The Five."

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