'The Five's' post-election advice

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 30, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: The thing is running under my bed. Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling and she just winterized her Barbie dream house, it's Dana Perino, "The Five."

If the Republicans win next week, what's the plan? The media is already there, warning them against extreme partisanship. Don't act nuts, the hacks say, though it's the hacks who brand them as nuts. Funny, they never did that in 2009 when the kids took over.

So what's the plan? Restoration. The president's rare combo of arrogance and incompetence has left us trashed and vulnerable. What was once cool years ago is now cold. Like Fonzie at 70, leather has been replaced by Life Alert.

It's time to address the real concerns, security and strength, America becoming America again.

First thing, restore the military, that's the real safety net. Restore the border. And while you're at it, the White House too. As it stands, any crazy person could trespass both.

Energy independence. You want cheaper, cleaner fuel, more jobs and freedom from mad men? Frack the hell out of the place. Don't forget the pipeline, tax reform, a past budget and why not a special prosecutor for the IRS? That would be nice.

But there's one thing all Americans need stat, and that's unity. Life's been rough. Thanks to a cult that thinks everything pre-Obama was evil, they waged a war on all things that worked. No more. Time to restore the value of achievement, put industry ahead of identity, patriotism not pigment. We must return to the global stage with a pow not a bow.

The GOP vision must be of strength, rejecting envy in favor of opportunity, it should not simply be right but persuasively so creating new ways to say what's always mattered. It's the uniform of the happy warrior. Let's dust it off. If we're lucky, it still might fit.

So, what are you giggling about you crazy person?


DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Your last line there and if there -- you were thinking about something else this morning. Because you said that you need to slim down.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's true. I'm having problems getting into my Calvin's.


GUTFELD: Those are my jeans, ladies and gentlemen.


GUTFELD: Kimberly, what -- what have been go around the table?

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: I would wear the happy warrior costume tomorrow morning at 8.45.

(LAUGHTER) GUTFELD: Excellent. What is -- what should their plan be for plan A?

GUILFOYLE: So I've heard they have a war room set up. They need to be on point with a succinct, persuasive message defend of the attack that will come, that this is the end of the world if the report -- Republicans get from sweeping wins like we anticipate they will. Because right away were gonna have people like Bob Beckel and his brethren, saying that this is fanatical, the tea party, it's the end of the United States as we know it. The war of the women -- women has just stepped up to a whole other level. Those are gonna be some of the things because, then they're gonna try do everything they can to frighten everyone into voting for a Democratic president in 2016.

GUTFELD: Yeah, I love how the media is already saying you know, they're telling if you win, you still have to act like you lost.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: Which means compromise, right, Bob?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Oh yes, sorry.

PERINO: I never said that's the Democrats.

BECKEL: I'm reading my notes here.

GUTFELD: Solitaire. Yeah, thank you.

BECKEL: First of all, listening to your open as usual, it was so many jobs, I mean.

GUTFELD: So many jobs, Joe.

BECKEL: Not so many jobs, no, no, this is antidepressant jobs going increase. Things are fine. I mean, I don't know why you're so freaked out about everything. The military is stronger than it's ever been. It's been stronger as well as it's ever been. But, having said that, I think what the Republicans need to do is pick out some things that they can win on because they're gonna have to win. And that means including getting a signature from Obama. Two places that they can do that. One, fix Obamacare, don't try to do where with it, if you open your mouth you're gonna say we're gonna do away with it, people gonna think you're as crazy as you are and then send you to the nut house and say, that's the typical Republican, fix it. It can be fixed and Democrats will go along with it. Second, I've said this over and over again that if they don't do tax reform this time around, they're all nuts because they can both agree on that. There are some things that they want to put some markers down that will get vetoed but that's all right, but in the first that would start out with things that are doable and those things are doable and those things are not gonna vetoed.


ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: So three parts, I mean, we're assuming that the Republicans take the Senate, right? So you have the House and the Senate, now all you need the presidential signature. Three are is number one, energy independence. That means permitting drilling on all offshore and onshore federal lands, that's the first thing you can probably get at least to the president's desk, let him go ahead and try to pull back on that one, that would be.

BECKEL: Including Yosemite National Park?

BOLLING: He probably will say -- probably veto that one. I don't think he's going to veto the keystone pipeline at this point.


BOLLING: He did honest that this time. He'll say, look, we tried, we -- it's over folks, let's go forward with keystone and refineries. You get those permitting processes down path so that we can have more refineries, that would help, that's energy. Corporate tax reform, Bob, I agree with tax reform, from the corporate side you can bring immediately bring $2 trillion back to the United States with the repatriation. Just get it -- just say, you know what, let it come back, it doesn't cost America a single penny to do it, now one penny, it's sitting in overseas bank accounts. Bring it back, it's a $2 trillion stimulus package overnight, he'd be foolish to say no to that. And individual tax reform, I'd go back to Bush era tax rates. He'll never do it, he'll never do, but he might as well try.

GUILFOYLE: Bob even talked about that yesterday, you said to try and go back and get some kind of working deal on tax reform about this. BECKEL: Yeah, I think it's more than -- I think the repatriation -- whatever that word is about bringing those things back.

GUTFELD: Let get Dana in.

BECKEL: I think that -- I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: No, I was gonna say let's get Dana in.

BECKEL: Well, let's Dana, I'm fine.

GUTFELD: Yes, and thanks for leaving the hospital and coming here to offer your insight. With.

GUILFOYLE: I'm an Ebola nurse.

GUTFELD: yes, exactly for Halloween, pre Halloween. What is your suggestion if you were in the White -- what would you.

PERINO: If I was in the White House?

GUTFELD: Not in the White House, but if for.

PERINO: If I was in the Senate.

GUTFELD: Yes, or anywhere for that matter.

PERINO: If I was McConnell and Boehner, I was planning for post Tuesday situation.

GUTFELD: You're right.

PERINO: OK. I agree with everything that's been said so far, and would add a couple of things. I would restore the defense cuts that were -- that took place during sequestration. Which the Republicans that agree to -- I think that everyone might be able to agree that was a bad idea, especially as we have our troops gearing up to fight ISIS or trying to fight ISIS. I would also ask the president to sign a new authorization to use military force. I think that actually would strengthen the president's hand, it would show that the Republican are willing to help him do what is right and necessary, in order to degrade and destroy ISIS. The other thing that's important is oversight, that's a congressional role. It's to look at -- it's not just the White House doing things, all across the federal government. The last two years of any administration, is when they try to put through all sorts of new rule makings, or to start the process of getting them so they jam the next administration, that's what the Clinton's did to the Bush's, very successfully. The last thing is, I don't know what it is, they have to do something on Obamacare. That's what brought them to this point where they're going to be able to win, I don't know what they're gonna be able to do, if they want to pass something that he's gonna have to veto and then they go back to the drawing table, but there will be something on Obamacare within the first 100 days.

GUTFELD: Drawing board.


GUTFELD: Drawing board.

PERINO: Drawing board.


GUTFELD: There's no such thing as a drawing table. It has to put.

PERINO: There is a drawing table if you're an architect.

GUTFELD: May be so.

PERINO: Drafting table.

GUTFELD: But this is a political show, this isn't The Brady Bunch.


GUTFELD: Kimberly, here's the thing, they're talking about Obamacare, this is a good point.

GUILFOYLE: I mentioned that yesterday. I agree with her on that.

GUTFELD: Yes you did and congratulations. The winning strategy here isn't to fight symbolic battles. Like you don't want to reclose large -- like Republicans, let's close the department of education. Is that silly? Because, isn't it time to win actual battles and not fight symbolic ones?

GUILFOYLE: No, I think you're right. I think they need to show that they are the party of purpose, and that they can actually set a goal and achieve it, and not be something that just engages in inflammatory rhetoric, but specifically set a target and acquire it. Do something that's gonna have a meaningful impact for the American people, that they can actually feel, because this is their opportunity between now and the presidential election to say, you gave us this chance, your decision, your trust was well earned and now we're going to deliver on it.

BECKEL: That's of course requires, that you have some same voices, which you do in the Republican Party if they're freed up of tea party. Now, one of the ways to do that, I almost wish that the Republicans would pick up 12 seats in the house, which is what the majority would be when they get them away from those fruit cakes, and they could advantage finally run in caucus, he can finally do a job that he wants to do, which is to find common ground on some things. You leave those people with just the margin they have, which is enough and they have been from the time that they have been elected, they have been stifling every piece of serious legislation or making it so impossible, that it can't be passed by Democrats. It advances their freedom.


GUTFELD: Thank God Harry Reid doesn't do that.

BECKEL: That's right. If you get rid of the chains of those people and let them go caucus out -- you know, I don't know, in South Hampton or something but, get them out of here. I mean, they're a waste of time. They're bad for the country. They're bad for the country.

GUTFELD: You could say the exact same thing about Harry Reid, and you'd be right.

BECKEL: If it won't. Assuming it would go to the Senate.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, Harry Reid.

BOLLING: So you're saying.

GUILFOYLE: Far worst.


BOLLING: So you're saying, Bob, you hope there's, about 245 Republican house members?

BECKEL: Whatever it takes to get the fruit cakes out of the business.

BOLLING: That would be great, because then you can say, have your tea party caucus not part of the voting bloc that changes legislation. And you'd still have a majority in the Republicans side.

BECKEL: That's my point. That is my point on that.


BOLLING: I'm simply saying, the more the merrier.

GUTFELD: What about the budget?


PERINO: They'll put forward a budget and in fact the Congress should do something that they -- that's one of their jobs, is to produce a budget that hasn't been happening. But with McConnell on the Senate side, I think you'll be able to get something done. I don't know if it will be exactly what Paul Ryan proposed before. But also, some of this is irrelevant, talking about what the Congress is going to do because, hopefully they will just do enough of them should do their jobs, but let me tell you something on what's gonna to happen on Wednesday morning. All the coverage immediately, everybody starts to running to Iowa and the caucus state.


PERINO: And all it is 2016 and ready for Hillary, we'll become tired of Hillary very quickly, they're following her every single move. In some ways, you kind of need an opponent in the Democratic primary because, it's gonna be -- it's going to be so overdone so quickly, the people will think -- will start to tune her out and it will be two years out.

GUILFOYLE: Because she's got Elizabeth Warren sort of nibbling on her ear.

BECKEL: There will be somebody running against her.

BOLLING: It's also important that they -- if they do, if the Republicans take the Senate as well, that they don't come out and just go, "Here, we're gonna do a whole bunch of stuff right away" because, honestly young people have started to move, they started -- they started to make the move towards the GOP, towards Republicans. If they come out and be really divisive right off the top, that's what they got sick.


BOLLING: Of the last four years.

PERINO: Well, also kind of depends on what President Obama does right? So the first thing that President Obama has to do is nominate an attorney general. And so, what's it gonna to be?

BOLLING: Correct.

PERINO: Does he want, does he want some sort of conciliatory candidate that he wants to have as his attorney general, or does he want to jam the Republican and put them in a position of having to point out what a bad nominee he is.

BECKEL: Can I finally get you straight out on this youth vote? In 2012, 56 percent of young people turned out to vote, in 2010, 24 percent.

BOLLING: All right.

BECKEL: Probably at about 23 percent this off-year election. When you say they're moving towards the GOP, most are still against the.


BOLLING: Wait, wait a second.


BECKEL: You know these are facts. You these are facts.

BOLLING: Well, your number is wrong.

BECKEL: Why is that wrong, I got a letter today, I got it out of the almanac.

BOLLING: So did I, so did I.


BOLLING: And by the way, yesterday, I was talking about a Harvard study, so that was different from what we're talking about now.


BOLLING: However, the numbers are 18 to 29-year-olds, 12 percent of those people voted in 2010.

BECKEL: The 12 percent, the 12 percent of the eligible voters?


BECKEL: And 2,500 -- you know, where do you get these numbers from? You've got to be getting them from your libertarian library because, they're just flat wrong.

GUTFELD: There's a polls that get eight percent shift, right?

BECKEL: I'm gonna show you if I got, if I got this.

GUTFELD: Congressional preference.


BECKEL: The point is, that there's no movement from young people towards Republican except those who are Republican.

BOLLING: But there is movement.

BECKEL: There is not.


BOLLING: There is. Bob, OK.

BECKEL: Let me show you.

BOLLING: I know we've got to go.


BOLING: The study I just --

GUILFOYLE: He's looking for it on his phone.

BOLLING: There's a Harvard study that show.


BOLLING: Young people in 2009.

BECKEL: Among people who are gonna vote.

PERINO: OK, and so what?

BOLLING: Do you agree that's what he said.

BECKEL: No, that's been telling -- what I'm saying is if you take the youth population as a whole, they are not going to be, in the next election, they're not moving towards Republicans.


GUILFOYLE: Someone should be taking their happy pills.

GUTFELD: Speaking of movement.

BECKEL: Well, I'm happy. I just so like.


GUTFELD: You're not moving. All right, we're gonna stay right here and talk for the next 45 minutes about this poll. No, next, while the Obama administration empties out GITMO, is it helping ISIS stock up? And later, Taylor Swift takes over Times Square.


TAYLOR SWIFT, SINGER: Welcome to New York. It's been waiting for you. Welcome to New York. Welcome to New York.


GUTFELD: My former squash partner is in New York and the New Yorkers aren't happy about it, ahead on The Five.


GUILFOYLE: Is the Obama administration supplying ISIS with fighters? Some very concerning news that as many as 30 detainees released from GITMO over the last few years, have joined forces with the terror network and other militant groups inside Syria. Here's more from National security correspondent, Jennifer Griffin.


JENNIFER GRIFFIN, FOX NEWS NATIONAL SECURITY CORRESPONDENT: Some of the former detainees are fighting with ISIS, some are supporting the Al-Qaeda linked Nusra Front, some are on the ground in Syria and some are financing operation and supporting the ISIS propaganda campaign. There are now 149 prisoners held at Guantanamo bay, 80 are currently cleared for release. U.S. defense officials estimate that of the 620 detainees released, 180 are suspected to have returned to the fight worldwide.


GUILFOYLE: Well, could this be why the army isn't releasing the findings of the Bowe Bergdahl investigation until after the midterm elections. Eric, you're shaking your head. Do you think there's a connection?

BOLLING: No, I do because, first of all what the heck else did we think they were gonna do when we released the GITMO detainees. They fight, that's what they do. They live for the fight.

GUILFOYLE: Born and bred.

BOLLING: Born and bred. You're not gonna rehab them, you're not gonna -- you know, spend 10 years and all of a sudden they're gonna realize it you know, Jihad is a bad thing, then we may be productive. By the way, being productive in where they come from means, they're a better fighter, they're better killer.


BOLLING: They're better Jihadists. So they go back to doing what they're gonna do, no surprise, we've talked about it for years, but now they've finally realized. And so Bergdahl, if they find these five -- you know, these five bad guys, five point in trait (ph) if they find that they've become ISIS fighters, of course it's gonna look bad because, President Obama and the state department made that deal.

GUILFOYLE: It couldn't possibly look good because then you have Jihad recidivists, which is always a bad headline.

BECKEL: If you go back to Bergdahl, you're right about that. But if you go back, these 680 released by the Obama administration or Bush administration. What would we think they were going to be boy scouts? In the Bush administration, a lot of going back to be fighters, and in Obama administration, lot of going back to be fighters, that's what they do.

GUILFOYLE: Then why, why don't we learn then, right? Learning from their ass.

BECKEL: Well, both administrations, ask them why they did it, because they didn't have any choices.

GUILFOYLE: And it always hard getting back to point the finger at someone else, isn't helping us to move forward about the future and decision making and what we should be doing, getting the information we have.

PERINO: The part of this has to do with the agreement that you have with the countries that they go back to. So, if they came from Tunisia and you say, OK, the Tunisian government wants their prisoners back, they said that they will take care of them and keep an eye on them. And then, you know, you try to trust that government is going to do that. Interestingly, because ISIS has now created allies that didn't exist before, because now they have the common enemy in ISIS they just might be more willing to take it more serious look and detain the GITMO detainees that they were, to get them back in their countries. But I have a feeling that the administrations probably not going to release any more for a while. I don't think this idea that the president floated that of bringing the detainees here to America is going to fly. I also think that if Congress were to pass another authorization to use military force, that it would strengthen the president's hand in order to -- and the next president's hand, to capture enemy combatants on the battlefield and hold them at GITMO for Intel purposes.

GUILFOYLE: All right, thank you. That was well said.

PERINO: Well, thank you.

GUILFOYLE: Greg, can you beat that?

GUTFELD: Yes, I think I can. No, the difference between President Obama and President Bush here is that, President Obama has been adamant in his promise to close GITMO. And this is -- this is a microcosm of progressivism, which is, you want to replace something that you have, without actually having a coherent alternative. You hate capitalism, you have no alternative. You hate defense, you have no alternative. You hate the war on terror, you have no alternative. You hate GITMO, you have no alternative. So basically what you have is a catch and release game with maniacs. It's OK to let them go, but you've got to kill them when they get out of there, because they're gonna come back. It's absolutely, it's insane, the first.

PERION: But we can't do that.

BECKEL: We got to distract them.

GUTFELD: No, you track them. You track them.

PERINO; I agree.

GUTFELD: The Bergdahl five, they're not on tour with Maroon five, they're somewhere. We should know where they are.


BECKEL: Can we be sure to get this on the record, you say Obama hates capitalism. He -- that's right, there's one thing he say, he hates the war on terror.

GUILFOYLE: All right.

BECKEL: Wait, wait, wait a minute. I want clarification here.

GUTFELD: I let him go. OK?

GUILFOYLE: I've got one more topic that's actually very good. So.

BECKEL: Go ahead, go ahead. I just wanted to make sure I got that clear.

GULFOYLE: All right.

GUTFELD: Didn't get it clear. That's why I want you to say.

BECKEL: Why did he didn't say.


GUILFOYLE: Now is to another White House controversy, the one involving that chicken (bleep blur) of Israel's prime minister by an official who still remains anonymous. Now, will the administration reveal who said it?


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Can you say whether is the White House is going to attempt to find out who said it, and punish that person?

JOSH EARNEST, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: I don't know of any effort like that, it's under way right now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is the administration trying to figure out who made these inappropriate and counterproductive comments?



GUTFELD: Nope. She's great.

GUILFOYLE: Fox's Ed Henry, well he pushed even further.


ED HENRY, FOX NEWS CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: You've gone after reporters again and again in this administration, to find out who leaked information to them. Then when it comes to insulting the prime minister, you don't seem to care who leaked it.

EARNEST: Well, I again, I don't think that is an accurate of reflection of the administration's policy, and certainly isn't an accurate reflection of our views of the prime minister of Israel.

HENRY: Justice Department gone after all series of reporters?

EARNEST: No, they haven't. And in fact, they actually put in place measures under the leadership of the attorney general to ensure that journalists in this country are able to do their jobs.


GUILFOYLE: And not true. All right, so Eric, do you -- I mean, the double standard here? What's going on?

BOLLING: First of all, I don't know why they leaked it. And none of that stuff goes out unless they purposefully leak it. I'm trying to figure out if there's a motive for that, for the life of me, and maybe Dana can figure this out, for the one like me. But, I always find it interesting when these things happen and there's a big you know, kerfuffle. They don't know, they didn't hear about it, they don't know who leaked it, were surprised by that. The IRS not a smidgeon of corruption, whoops, we shouldn't have indict it or implicated James Rosen in the indictment. It's like --

GUILFOYLE: It's so -- yeah.

BOLLING: No one knows what's going on up there. Is it organized chaos on purpose?

GUILFOYEL: You know what it is?

BOLLING: We stop asking?

GUILFOYLE: It feels like a crash test dummy behind the wheel. Like whoa, shouldn't somebody that actually is a human being with intelligence and understanding and information and honesty be behind the wheel? Instead we get this -- we don't know how that happened. Dana.

PERINO: This feel like foreign policy, the tone of it is set from the top. I find it very hard to believe that there are National security officials speaking on backgrounds to reporters in a leaking fashion. Because, Jeffrey Goldberg, the author of that article, talked to one person and he's called, a different person who used the very same language of the chicken bleep, OK? So to me, that's like -- they heard it somewhere, so this is tacit permission to be able go out and talk that way. It's not just the insults, the personal insult, it's the foreign policy tone, and it does have larger implications. Remember also, that remember that anonymous tweeter that -- there's was on the National Security Council that was tweeting things that, Valerie Jarrett thought was disrespectful to her. Well, they did an investigation, they tracked him down and he got fired.

GUILFOYLE: They're not doing it here.

PERINO: They don't care. The thing is, in a way I feel bad for Josh Earnest, I don't think he knew about it. But I do think the foreign policy desk, certainly did and this is with permission from the very top.

BOLLING: For what reason?

GUILFOYLE: Bergdahl.

PERINO: Well, perhaps to provoke them. It depends on what the -- you know, The Wall Street Journal front page story yesterday was about the new detente that we have entered in with Enron, so that could be it.


BECKEL: You know, this is gonna got any chair (ph) we have said, as soon reported for you all say you're in backpack (ph) Obama. The soon as investigate Republican elected officials who use on background far worse words than we're used to hearing.


BECKEL: But I got no.


BECKEL: I had one on background who said that, Obama was an acting socialist. That was on background from a Republican member of Congress.

PERINO: Bob, you say that every day and nearly on the wreck on the show about people. I mean, this is.


PERINO: You're talking of gold White House?

GUTFELD: For the guys, fruitcakes.

BECKEL: Yes, that's different.

GUTFELD: That is different. You don't like it.

PERINO: Of White House talking through our greatest ally in Israel. And that doesn't make it.

BECKEL: I see a member of the Congress call the president of the United States, a socialist, is that a good idea?

GUTFELD: Yeah, but you know the problem here. OK. The problem here, isn't the language, it's that the White House expresses more antipathy towards allies than enemies, that's why we have so few allies. But by the way, if these guy -- anybody but he, who knows Netanyahu should just call him sir. The guy is an Israeli commando. I don't think there's anybody in the White House that has any right to call him chicken blank.


GUILFOYLE: It's so disrespectful.

BOLLING: Chicken blank is so disrespectful. Socialist --


BOLLING: I think it describes him.



BOLLING: As you describe.

BECKEL: No, that's what you said.

GUILFOYLE: Thankful for our policy, yeah. The controversy over a young woman's decision to end her life after a devastating diagnosis. The latest developments on Brittany Maynard's story when we come back. Stay with us.


PERINO: This next story is a heart-breaking one and a controversial one as well. Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old with brain cancer planned to end her life on Saturday under Oregon's death with dignity law -- excuse me -- after being told that she had only months to live.

But those plans have now changed. She decided to delay her assisted suicide this weekend after much public debate, and she explains why.


BRITTANY MAYNARD, TERMINAL CANCER PATIENT: When people criticize me for not -- for not, like, waiting longer or, you know, whatever they've decided is best for me, it hurts because really I risk it. I risk it every day, every day that I wake up. And I do it because I still feel good enough and I still have enough joy and I still laugh and smile with my family and friends enough that it doesn't seem like the right time right now, but it will come because I feel myself getting sicker. It's happening each week.


PERINO: So it's extremely sad. Very also, I think, interesting as a public policy debate. Kimberly, I was just thinking, personally, it's not a choice I would want to make but I don't know if I have a right to tell anybody else what they should do.

She got the front cover of "People" magazine two weeks ago, talking about this decision and saying that everybody should give her her space to do that. And I'm glad that she's feeling well enough to make a change.

What do you think about this? Because you have had loved ones go through some illnesses. And just curious how you would have dealt with that.

GUILFOYLE: I've seen not only in my own family, but unfortunately, a large number of people dealing with terminal illnesses and how it affects the family members and how it affects the person, most especially in terms of how they feel about leaving those behind them.

And there's always this very tough pull between wanting to try and survive and hang in there a day longer to be with them but also not wanting to be a burden and also physically bearing the incredible pain of a terminal illness. It's very difficult, and I feel for any family that goes through it.

This is her decision; this is her choice. I would never even put myself in her position to pass the judgment as to what she should do. I think she's expressing a feeling that she believes in, obviously, the sanctity of life while at the same time understanding that she has a terminal diagnosis. It's tough. The only thing they say to you with a terminal diagnosis is palliative care.

PERINO: It puts the doctor in a difficult position, Bob, but also, this issue, assisted suicide, was a huge public policy issue for a long time, and then it sort of went away for a while. But now it's making its way back. And Oregon is one of the states. They moved to Oregon in order to be able to do this legally under the law.

BECKEL: I have two people that I knew, both of whom had inoperable liver disease from drinking. One decided to take their life and said so. And in fact she did. The other one got near the end, decided not to do it, and kept going and suffered a terrible death.

But I think in a situation like this, I think people have every right in the world to decide whether they want to go to their maker or not.

PERINO:OK. Eric, any thoughts? We have about a minute.

BOLLING: Very quickly, as Kimberly, I lost a mother, a father and a sister to cancer. I watched that struggle. And if anyone had ever said along the road that they wanted to have an assisted suicide, I would have been on board.

These people did, as you point out, move from California to Oregon where it's legal. And I like the fact that the states, when they make their decision -- by the way, anyone can't just commit suicide on will. There has to be certain things that fall into place. So I'm for her having the right to do this if she wants.

PERINO: OK. Do you have a last thought? We have only...

GUTFELD: Well, yes. I think. I mean, this is an unusual case. The bigger issue is when people are old and they're frail and ill. They already possess the sinking feeling that they are a burden and you must fight to not contribute to that idea that they are a burden.

But if a person wishes to die peacefully, not in agony, who are you to stand in their way?

Suicide as a crime, I've never understood. How is that a deterrent, if you can't put me in jail after I've already jumped off a cliff. So I've\ never understood why it's a crime.

PERINO: Interesting. I had not thought of it that way, but as always, you leave us with something thought-provoking for the commercial break.

OK. Ahead, did Michael Jordan have harsh words for President Obama? You're going to hear them next in "The Fastest Seven."


BOLLING: Welcome back. Time for...


GRAPHIC: Fastest 7.


BOLLING: ... the "Fastest Seven" minutes on television. Three saucy stories, seven speedy minutes, one sporty host.

First up, we all know the president spends time on the golf course, a lot of time on the golf course. So with over 200 rounds of golf under his presidential belt, one would think he must be getting pretty good at golf, right? Well, not according to Michael Jordan, who really is a good golfer.

GUILFOYLE: Good at everything.

MICHAEL JORDAN, PROFESSIONAL GOLFER? I never played with Obama but I would. No, that's OK, I'd take him out. He's a hack. I'd be all day playing with him.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You really want to say that to the president of the United States?

JORDAN: Don't worry about it. I didn't say he wasn't a good politician. I'm just saying he's a (EXPLETIVE DELETED) golfer.


BOLLING: K.G., you look a little surprised.

JORDAN: That's because of the (EXPLETIVE DELETED) mouth. Yes, that was kind of funny. I like Michael Jordan. I like to play hoops with him for sure.

BECKEL: Jordan was -- thought about turning pro for a while in the golf world, so I'm not at all surprised he thinks he'd whip Obama. But I think he'd like to play with him. So would I.

GUILFOYLE: He took a shot at baseball, too.

BOLLING: Were you surprised that Obama, 200 rounds of golf, isn't that good of a golfer yet?

GUILFOYLE: Golf's hard.

BECKEL: It's a tough game. I'll play 200 rounds of golf if you tell me when you want to start.

GUILFOYLE: His job is interfering with it. Bolling, his job is interfering with it.

BOLLING: What, his job is interfering with his golf game?


BOLLING: He'll be better in two years?

GUILFOYLE: I think so.

BECKEL: There's a shot. Right there.

BOLLING: It wasn't really a mean-spirited shot.

PERINO: No, actually, I think that the person that would have laughed the most when they heard that is President Obama. It was funny.

GUILFOYLE: And asked him to join the foursome.

PERINO: Yes. It's funny, like it's nice when you're a president and somebody treats you like one of the guys.

BOLLING: Maybe that's what he's doing. Angling for the golf invite -- Greg.

GUTFELD: The irony is that President Obama is over par as a golfer but under par as a leader, and in both cases he lacks drive.

Look, golf is an activity that makes its difficulty your flaw. In reality a bad golfer means that you're busy doing other things. I will never be a great golfer, because I'm awesome at sleeping.

BOLLING: Very good.

All right. Next up, just-arrived, newly-minted New Yorker, the very talented and only somewhat annoying Taylor Swift gave a free concert in New York this morning...

GUTFELD: I was there.

BOLLING: ... during which she unveiled her new song, "Welcome to New York."




BOLLING: And here's a little more Tay-Tay (Ph) and some annoying New York City tourism ads that have some homegrown New Yorkers upset.

GUILFOYLE: What's Tay-Tay (ph)?


TAYLOR SWIFT, SINGER: First word, bodega. A bodega is a corner store that's open pretty much 24 hours most of the time. You can get almost anything in a bodega. Bodegas are our friends.

Houston Street, most commonly confused with the pronunciation Houston Street. When you get here and you see the sign you'll think, oh, Houston, Texas, Houston Street. Incorrect. How-ston Street.


BOLLING: All right. Before you go there, just understand Taylor Swift donated all the proceeds from her new song to the New York City public school system. Dana, your thoughts on...

PERINO: Look, she's an American gem. And she's a self-made person, an amazingly talented person.

She came to New York. Look, I came to New York; I don't like it. She comes to New York, she loves it, and she donates all these proceeds to the New York City schools and does a free concert. She's a winner.

Absolute -- absolute international star. New York should be so glad. New York should be so glad that they're talking about Taylor Swift and not de Blasio. She's the best ambassador New York could imagine.

GUILFOYLE: Absolutely right. And she can pay a lot of taxes and help us out.


BOLLING: With her $20 million apartment that she dropped.

GUTFELD: All the criticism -- all the -- when we talk about criticism, you have to understand it's driven by envious bloggers and critics on websites like Gawker. Because she is a self-made -- she's a self-made millionaire at the age of 25.

The people that are going after her do not -- have no idea what Boko Haram is. They probably think it's a restaurant. And they probably think that Mumia al-Jamal is innocent. But instead, they spend their time demonizing a woman who's incredibly successful. That's disgusting.

BOLLING: Shake it off, Bob. Shake it off.

BECKEL: Look, I mean, she said this stuff about New York for people who are new to New York. She said Houston or whatever it was. That's fine with me. I mean, for people who are new, it's a good thing.

PERINO: It's for her fans so that they know where she just moved to.

BECKEL: And I think her change in her music style, I don't know what it was before.

BOLLING: And for the record...

BECKEL: Look at me, what's the downside of this women being in New York? That's all I'm saying.

BOLLING: For the record, Porter really wanted to do this segment. He said he's extra -- a lot of extra time.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, yes, Taylor Swift fan.

BOLLING: He wrote that line.


BOLLING: Whack job Woody Harrelson. Why whack job, you ask? Nine-eleven truther, self-described anarchist. Well, Woody's at it again. This time the actor and activist is playing environmentalist in a new ad for Next Gen climate PAC. Watch.


WOODY HARRELSON, ACTOR: They told us the world was flat and insisted it was the center of the universe. They ignored pollution, said that cigarettes were harmless. That gas was safe and there was nothing wrong with CFCs.

Now they tell us climate change is bogus. Some powerful people want to hold us back, but the truth is undeniable. This is a fight we will win.


BOLLING: So do you want to take this, Greg? You know Woody, right?

GUTFELD: Oh, yes, we go way back. The interesting thing, the examples that he gave out as bad science, flat earth, people who believed that earth was the center of the universe, these were incorrect scientific theories. They were not propagated by skeptics. They were dispelled by skeptics. It was the science back then that believed in this idiocy, the same way that mainstream science is creating hysteria over climate change.

You noticed in that -- in that commercial or ad, there was no talk about actual facts. There was nothing -- it was an emotional plea that dismissed skeptics because they are so scared of the debate. They're so petrified of facing somebody like me.

BOLLING: Speaking of no sign of actual facts, Bob, your thoughts on this?

BECKEL: Well, he mentioned cigarettes. I think he was write about that.

I think it's a terrific ad. I agree with everything he said on it. And I think it's a fairly good reflection of politicians who aren't elected who are against -- who don't believe in global warming.

GUTFELD: What were the facts there, though? I missed a few.

BOLLING: There was a whole thing where a glacier was melting in the water.

GUTFELD: Nothing about the sea levels or the temperature pause, nothing about the droughts.

GUILFOYLE: This is what happens when you smoke too much pot. I'm going to say.

BOLLING: He's pro...

GUILFOYLE: He was a visitor at the San Francisco D.A.'s office. We had a district attorney then that wouldn't prosecute marijuana cases. And he was hanging out and he gave him a tour of all the pot clubs.

BOLLING: Dana, your thoughts on Woody?

PERINO: Well, I do think it's a ridiculous ad. However, I would take it seriously. Because remember, we've got a big election coming up in 2016. Just a month ago they got 40,000 people to show up based on emotion here in New York City.

GUTFELD: Right. It's true. They're good.

PERINO: This is a motivating force.

GUTFELD: Because they have the celebrities.

BECKEL: So all of our -- all of our concern about global warming is emotional, huh? Is that right?

PERINO: It's irrational.

BOLLING: More emotional than fact.

BECKEL: OK, that's -- all right.

BOLLING: We'll leave it right there. Straight ahead, hell hath no fury like a quarantined nurse. We're going to tell you how Kaci Hickox spent her day in Maine, and it wasn't home confinement. That's next.

GUILFOYLE: I mean, can you believe it?


BECKEL: Yesterday nurse Kaci -- is that right? -- Hickox, who treated Ebola patients in Africa, vowed to violate her quarantine in Maine if it wasn't lifted. Today, she kept her promise. She went out on an hour-long bike ride with her boyfriend and even shook hands with reporters. One person not surprised she's breaking the rules, Bill O'Reilly, who's not surprised about any damn thing.


BILL O'REILLY, HOST, "THE O'REILLY FACTOR": No travel ban from West Africa, and there's no mandatory quarantine. Thirty-three-year-old nurse Kaci Hickox is defying a state of Maine quarantine because she can. Miss Hickox should be taken into custody, but she will not be because the feds have no Ebola policy at all.


BECKEL: With all due respect to this woman who did some wonderful work in Africa, Eric, don't you think it's a little 15 minutes of fame?

BOLLING: Yes. I'm completely -- she's really getting annoying now.

BECKEL: She is.

BOLLING: And now she's, like, riding a bike and she's got the helmet. Why do you wear a helmet? You wear a helmet in case you fall, right?

BECKEL: What about her boyfriend? You think...

PERINO: Bob, you cannot do that, come on. That's disrespectful to all of us.

BECKEL: What. I'm...

PERINO: You cannot play solitaire while you're doing this block.

BECKEL: I'm sorry. Well, you guys watch Twitter.

PERINO: That's your block.

BOLLING: Wasn't my commentary...

GUTFELD: How ironic, though. Wait a minute. How ironic that we're talking about a quarantine, and he's playing solitaire.

BECKEL: OK. I get it.

GUTFELD: You know what? She is obviously a great woman. But she should be quarantined for being obnoxious. Because right now she's trolling a country.

You know, she should understand that public concern is as important as a virus, and people are upset. And just, you know, a couple of doctors have said that she's hurting the image of the profession. And she should think about that.

And that -- to your point, she has done great work, and she will continue to do great work. But maybe she should just think that we're -- assume that we're all a little panicky.

GUILFOYLE: Well, she's certainly...

BECKEL: She's on the stage a little long, you think?

GUILFOYLE: She's certainly diluting it with her very immature, selfish behavior. Because as much as she's to be commended for her acts and serving, you know, overseas to try and eradicate Ebola, great. But now you can't show the same respect for the people in your neighborhood and in your community to enjoy a little staycation for a few more days and make sure that you're healthy and your loved ones and those around you? Come on.

BECKEL: That is a good argument, Dana. How do you think she deals -- I mean, what's her argument?

PERINO: Well, I think that we have to remember that we're in the age of social media, so she -- I'm pretty sure she doesn't watch FOX News. And she's on her phone all the time or she's on her computer, and she's got a circle of friends who are egging her on and saying this is great. This is exactly what you can do. You need to show those idiots that you can't get Ebola from such and such.

So I think that she's just -- she's being fed -- her ego is being fed. And I'm not saying that in a bad way, because I absolutely respect what she did; and I wish that more people would be willing to go over and work in Africa or wherever they might want to go.

Senator Paul went to Nicaragua earlier this year. I mean, there's a lot of ways to -- is that the wrong country?

BECKEL: No, no.

BOLLING: Guatemala.

PERINO: There's a lot of ways to give back but there's -- there is some sort of personal responsibility to your profession. Not just...

GUILFOYLE: Very selfish.

BECKEL: OK. I was supposed to -- just to correct the record, it was poker; it wasn't solitaire.

"One More Thing" is up next.


GUTFELD: Time now for something we like to call "One More Thing." Dana, why don't you kick it off?

PERINO: I will kick it off with a little note that you could read an article that I just wrote about this unicorn cup, because everybody's been asking. No, I'm kidding.

I wrote a book about the Republican Party young people, the college Republicans, the RNC, all the efforts -- what did you just say to me? I wrote an e-mail? What are you talking about?

OK, this is a column. It's on FOXNews.com. Why is this going so badly?

GUILFOYLE: It can go well. I posted to it.

PERINO: It's about Danny Downers and how they should turn that frown upside down. OK, fine.

GUILFOYLE: Great article that you wrote. People should read it. Check it out.

PERINO: Thank you, Kimberly, for saving my "One More Thing."


GUTFELD: It's a great article -- Eric.

BOLLING: OK. So congratulations. San Francisco Giants last night became the first team in 35 years to win a game seven in the away park at Kansas City, becoming the world champions. By the way, here is Madison Bumgarner getting his MVP gift. Watch.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have also been proud of the latest and greatest technology in our truck lineup, which is the all-new 2015 Chevy Colorado. It combines class-winning -- leading technology and stuff with Wi-Fi powered by OnStar.


BOLLING: The thing about that truck right there, it was recalled October 3. They actually pulled it off the line today.

PERINO: Oh, no! Oh, no.

BOLLING: They gave him a recalled truck.

PERINO: Oh, no.

GUILFOYLE: He'll get another one. Go Giants, I love you so much. I'm your former first lady. I've got my earrings on today. Aren't they cute?

GUTFELD: Good to see Rob Ford there.


BECKEL: Tom Menino is a friend of mine and the longest serving mayor of Boston. Died at 71 from cancer. He was there during the Boston Marathon bombing. He served five terms. He was a great guy and a great liberal. We'll miss you, Tommy.

PERINO: He was a good guy.

GUTFELD: Do you want to go before me? Go before me.

GUILFOYLE: I just want to give a little shout-out and a speedy recovery to our friends in the FOX family. Rosanna Scotto (ph), she is the leading lady of New York morning television. She's a New York icon, a great family, as well. And she was doing her job and ice skating when she got a very serious injury to her wrist and to her elbow, but she's out of surgery and she is recovering at home. We wish you well. Big kiss from "The Five," Rosanna.

GUTFELD: All right. And now it's time for...


GUTFELD: Greg's Secrets to Happiness, copyrighted 2014.


GUTFELD: You know what the secret to happiness is? Teaching your dog to fetch a beer.

GUTFELD: Look at that.

GUILFOYLE: What a good boy.

GUTFELD: Amazing.

My problem is the owner is 12. So we had the dog arrested, and he's serving...

BOLLING: Serving alcohol to minors?

GUTFELD: Yes, serving alcohol to minors.

GUILFOYLE: Did you quarantine the dog?

GUTFELD: We quarantined the dog. Terrible, terrible thing.

That's it for us. "Special Report" is next. Watch it, or else.

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