'The Five's' most memorable moments of 2013

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 31, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. Happy New Year's Eve.


BOLLING: I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino and Andrea Tantaros. The countdown is on. This is "The Five."

Just a few hours left until we ring in the New Year and then we've got a great show for you tonight. So let's get the party started. Speaking of parties, Kimberly and Bob will be kicking off Fox's "All American New Year" party, Times Square 9 p.m. tonight. They are going to tell you what they've got on tap. So stay tuned.

But 2013 was a big year for "The Five". Lots of good times had at this table. Our producers have picked some of their favorite moments from the past year and we are here to show you.

Here is clip number one which features K.G. with his awesome, awesome reaction to Bob's secret confession.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everyone wants to know right now, boxers or briefs here.

BOLLING: I'm boxer, I'm a boxer guy.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All right, I'm boxer brief we've got to move on.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, FOX NEWS HOST: What about you Bob? What about you Bob? What about you Bob?

BECKEL: Nothing.

BOLLING: No, no.


BOLLING: What is the follow-up question?

GUILFOYLE: Oh, God, it is so close to me.


BECKEL: I've got to say I think that is the funniest moment in the three years we've been on.

ANDREA TANTAROS, FOX NEWS HOST: So Bob, you know what -- I never looked at you the same.

BECKEL: Yes but she didn't ask what I was talking about.

TANTAROS: We all know. Commando.

BECKEL: No, no, no, it was like Speedos.

TANTAROS: Now you're changing it.

BECKEL: Is that better?

GUILFOYLE: What's more disturbing then? Bob in a Speedo or nothing at all.

BECKEL: It isn't Pampers that's for sure.


BECKEL: Not yet. Not too far off though.

GUILFOYLE: Please wear that for New Year's Eve tonight.

BECKEL: Don't worry. Don't worry. I will remember that. It was quite an experience.

BOLLING: All right let's move on next up Andrea relating a story about her childhood and growing up Greek.

TANTAROS: Oh my God.


TANTAROS: You know the same remarks that he made today about immigration reform were the same thing he said about health care reform. You know my dad said to me once when I tried to undertake two massive things at one time. He said, you know, Andrea, you can't run with two watermelons, you're going to drop one. The President dropped one. Get your mind out of the gutter --

BECKEL: I'm sorry.

TANTAROS: You too Bob, you too.


BOLLING: So, Bob, what were you thinking?

BECKEL: What do you think I was thinking? Are you kidding me that was such an obvious, I mean why would you even say that? I mean it was so obvious.

BOLLING: She was talking about watermelons, were she not?

TANTAROS: Yes, because they are heavy and it's hard to run with. Have you ever tried to run with two full-sized watermelons it's not easy.

BECKEL: No, I bet it is baby, I have no idea but I bet you it's not easy.


BECKEL: Particularly, never mind.

TANTAROS: Most normal people appreciate the Greek analogy Bob.

BECKEL: Ok good I see. Let those watermelons keep rolling along.

BOLLING: You know what the bottom line is we have a lot fun out this year.

BECKEL: Yes that's right.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know.

BOLLING: Ok how about this who can forget the hottest new rapper of the year, look out Kanye, it is Tiny D.

GUILFOYLE: Oh my God remember that?


DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Rap is such a complicated form of music.

BOLLING: You're so good at it though.

PERINO: And so I gave -- I gave it a shot, if you want to take a look.


PERINO: Well my name is Tiny D. And I'm here to say I've got funky fresh rhymes in a major way. So I'm white like Casper, I've got a dog named Jasper and if you don't think Beyonce fears me go ahead and ask her.

So if you love Castro, stick with Jay Z but if you love your freedom, pick D.P., that's me.


BECKEL: That was very good.

BOLLING: That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

BECKEL: It feels like she did it like in slow motion. Most rappers go really fast.

PERINO: I know, I should have gone faster.

GUILFOYLE: You want to coach her?

PERINO: You know about why -- you want to know why Greg was laughing so hard, Greg was actually worried that people would think I was serious.


PERINO: And so he wanted to make it clear that oh ha, ha we thought that was really funny. I mean obviously I'm not.

BECKEL: Obviously you're not going to leave your day job right.

PERINO: And I like the Casper and Jasper. I was a genius line.

TANTAROS: And by the way Dana you had the Nina Cherry Buffalo stand, remember this buffalo stands from the 90s.

And Joshua the producer added the little polka dots at the bottom.

BOLLING: If you guys, you know the Kanye West and the Kim Kardashian on the motorcycle, the rap on the motorcycle?

PERINO: I've never seen that.

GUILFOYLE: Yes bam. It's very erotic.

BECKEL: Was that was the one that Kim Kardashian do the sex tape.


BOLLING: I would pay to see that video.

BECKEL: And didn't Kardashian do it.

TANTAROS: That was the most illicit music video. And you think Dana --

PERINO: I want to do that with Greg.

BECKEL: Wasn't Kardashian and -- didn't they do the sex video together?

GUILFOYLE: No. That was wrong one.


GUILFOYLE: That was Ray Jay.

BOLLING: All right how about this one.

GUILFOYLE: And she was in love with Ray Jay.

BOLLING: Next up, good old boy Bobbie, man of the world, getting his Jamaican on.


BECKEL: I don't know -- I don't know what the problem is here. I'm not really happy. I mean don't get old and mad here, I mean what's the problem, you got to chill out, everybody I mean this and that. Be happy, get yourself something to eat or get yourself some home grown weed from down where I come from. You'll be much happier.



GUILFOYLE: Would you explain that clip?

BECKEL: I had somebody teaching me that -- some Jamaican around here I got him in the corner and I said how do you say these things? And he said, oh man, you aren't no Jamaican.

GUILFOYLE: It sort of sounded like Irish Jamaican.

BOLLING: That was on the heels of a commercial that I guess some people found was offensive, was racially sensitive.

TANTAROS: Oh that's right.

BOLLING: Remember there was a Volkswagen ad.

TANTAROS: That's right.

BOLLING: And there is another one we are talking about.

TANTAROS: You know what Bob, Jamaica makes me crazy every day.

BECKEL: It's making me crazy. But the (inaudible) was good. I mean it was good. I mean I don't know now but it was great then.

TANTAROS: No comment.

BOLLING: Oh my goodness.

PERINO: I have no idea.

BECKEL: Yes you wouldn't had any idea would you?

GUILFOYLE: No. I wouldn't.

BECKEL: Actually if you ever did that, you would pass out for like six months.

TANTAROS: I think she would laugh and laugh.

BECKEL: I know she would -- she would be -- she would listen to one Bob Marley song and go shh -- that's it. That would be the end of it.

BOLLING: All right how about this one. The producers have kept me in the dark about this. I have no idea of what it is. So here it goes.


BOLLING: We Fivers want to take you to how we are dealing with the flu. We have all these home medications.

BECKEL: First of all what the hell is this?

BOLLING: The Fox News snuggy.

BECKEL: A what?

GUILFOYLE: I don't even know we need those.

BOLLING: A Fox News snuggy.

GUILFOYLE: Do we send those to people?

BECKEL: Are you purposely trying to get yourself thrown off television?

BOLLING: Bob the segment starts with how the Fivers are handling the flu.

BECKEL: Ok I say I'm handling it.

GUILFOYLE: This will be -- everybody's favorite song.

BECKEL: This is -- this is because you want me to shut up. Do you think this will shut me up?


BOLLING: Ok so the producer is like oh I'm not sure you should do this. I like just trust me.

BECKEL: Where did you get that thing from?

GUILFOYLE: So you don't think it's awesome?

BOLLING: No, our Web site sells Fox News snuggies.

BECKEL: They actually have those things? And you wear them?

BOLLING: They are awesome. They are warm and they're like flannelly.

BECKEL: Can you get two people in one of them?

BOLLING: Are you serious?

GUILFOYLE: Are you going to wear it later tonight?

TANTAROS: Bob, you are your own Fox News snuggy.

BECKEL: That's right.

BOLLING: I will loan you my snuggy. Ok and I'll try -- afterwards, I don't want it, especially if you are putting two people in them.

BECKEL: And some watermelons -- you never know.

BOLLING: Greg gets fired up at hypocrisy all the time. Here comedian Jim Carrey gets socked in the gut.


GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Jim Carrey has killed more people than all of the rifles combined. He is a dirty, stinking coward. He's a moral coward, he's too worried about his career. He's such a pathetic, sad, little freak, he's a gibbering mess.

BECKEL: Is that how you really feel about him?

GUTFELD: He's a bottomless pit of insecurity and the desire for acceptance is why he's doing this because he knows in his heart that he's a fraud.


BOLLING: K.G. pointed something out. He was done and then --

GUILFOYLE: And Bob instigating of course and like Bob had to get it going again.

BECKEL: No, no but that's a -- is that -- that's not much different than Greg and most normal days. He'll get into one of those rants every time.

GUILFOYLE: That's a real clip.

BECKEL: Yes right, yes.

GUILFOYLE: At any given day.

BECKEL: I actually miss Greg today. He's over with his momma I think so isn't he?


TANTAROS: Is there too much positivity --

BECKEL: No, no, he's not -- he's not, he's very funny. But when he gets mad. I remember that one time he said shut up, Bob, shut up. Shut up. I said what the hell are you doing here, this is family. Shut up.

PERINO: Remember he apologized though.

BECKEL: Yes, he did but --

BOLLING: I remember that. Don't yell at Bob so much.


BOLLING: And your thoughts on that?

PERINO: Well I just remember that Jim Carrey had no idea that Greg Gutfeld was as ferocious as he was and Jim Carrey ended up having to apologize and scurried into his little corner after that.

BECKEL: Yes he came out and said something didn't he?

TANTAROS: I love that. Greg can just like sum up what you're thinking in a brilliant way. And I love when he is the most negative. I don't know why, it makes me happy.

BECKEL: Well he does?


BOLLING: How about this one. One of the wackiest moments of the year happened while we're temporarily out of this -- a regular studio. You just never know what happens when you are in somebody else's studio. Watch.


PERINO: All right the U.S. Air Force band they surprised museum goers at the Smithsonian National Air Space Museum in Washington, D.C. This is great they just started the -- they wanted to promote their 29 holiday shows so I think that we have a shot here in just a second that we are going to toss to. Take a look at this.

Congratulations to the U.S. Air Force Band for the first photo bombing of a museum. I think that's what they call that.

GUTFELD: It's the right -- yesterday was the last day of Hanukkah and I was just putting a Menorah away. I had no idea --


BOLLING: And the wacky part of that, we were talking about photo bombing and with a menorah.

PERINO: And remember he said that wasn't sure if he should do it because he might get in trouble. And I said but that's what "The Five" does, we get in trouble.


BECKEL: But did you know he was doing that while you were talking?

PERINO: Yes I kind of had.

BECKEL: I didn't catch him until out of the corner of my eye. He is very funny anyway.


GUILFOYLE: He is like back and forth.


It was kind of a good year.

PERINO: That is when we were upstairs. 2014 is going to be so fun when we talk about politics all year. ObamaCare, yes.


BECKEL: I can't wait. I cannot wait.

PERINO: Obama doesn't care.

BECKEL: Yes, that's all right. That's all right, I'll get my gloves and get in fighting shape because it will be four to one for sure next year.


BOLLING: And let's not forget Juan Williams too.

BECKEL: Yes of course.

BOLLING: Juan is one of the Fivers with us.

Ahead on "The Five" our new year's resolution we can scroll that if you want and our predictions for what we think is going happen in the upcoming year.

But first we'll run through some 2013 biggest scandals: the crack smoking mayor, that dope named Lance, Beyonce's lip flap and more when "The Five" returns.

We'll be right back.


GUILFOYLE: Welcome back to "The Five". Count down to 2014. Well we want to take a look now at some of the biggest scandals of the past year, in politics, entertainment and in sports.

Now there are way too many to pick from but we're going to start with some of the biggest political stories of 2013.


ROB FORD, MAYOR OF TORONTO, CANADA: Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But no -- do I -- am I an addict? No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When have you --

FORD: Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors?

ANTHONY WEINER, FORMER CONGRESSMAN: I have said that other texts and photos were like to come out and today they have.

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan -- period.

If you have or had one of these plans before the Affordable Care Act came into law and you really like that plan, what we said was you could keep it if it hasn't changed since the law was passed.


GUILFOYLE: There is so many to choose from but those are some of our favorite moments of political scandals of this past year. We'll take it around the table. Ladies first and handsome gentlemen last.

BOLLING: Thank you.

TANTAROS: Anthony Weiner by far. I couldn't get enough, every day there was a new "New York Post" headline. And it would say "Danger" "Carlos Danger". I loved it. I loved following that scandals, for me it was very fun.


PERINO: I didn't really care about the Rob Ford thing too much, Weiner was kind of interesting but not so much. But on Obama I think that's the good scandal, but I would say that the Benghazi and the IRS were two of the biggest ones that apparently like Greg said, you know when go on a airplane and the city just depart from starts fading from the distance, that's what's happened in the media. But we'll see what happens in 2016.

BECKEL: 2016?

PERINO: With more scandals?


BOLLING: I think Rob Ford was by far the most fun of all those scandals, but I think I'm agreeing with the Benghazi theme because if I'm not mistaken, Hillary Clinton testified in January of this year because remember she bumped her head.


BOLLING: So she couldn't testify right away.

PERINO: What difference does it make?

BOLLING: So yes at this point what difference does it make about four dead Americans? So I think I would call that the biggest political scandal and I think that's one that's going to live on again later, maybe not in '14, but certainly in '16.

BECKEL: Well let me just give you my -- my cut on this. I think first of all, what happened to your shoulder pads?


BECKEL: I mean don't you were shoulder pads?

GUILFOYLE: But it's in half fold pads.

BECKEL: Oh I'm sorry, I thought -- I'm sorry I didn't know that. It looks great from this angle. Look now here's the deal first of all for this guy Ford to say that he's not an addict, he says "I smoke crack but probably only a drunken stupor." Let me tell you something buddy, you're an addict. There is no doubt about that.

Now Weiner, the only thing about him is first, (inaudible) his wife stands next to him. Why she does that I have no idea. And Obama, you've all had this wrong if you're bilingual or you've been through bilingual education is he didn't say you could keep your plan.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, he did.

PERINO: What did he say? What did he say?

BECKEL: I'm trying to -- I'm trying to confuse. Well if you speak Russian?

GUILFOYLE: If you're bilingual --

BOLLING: Are you saying he was speaking Kenyan?

TANTAROS: Kimberly is bilingual.

GUILFOYLE: Yes so in any language he said you can keep your insurance.


PERINO: Well we know what you are doing, Bob.

TANTAROS: Bob, do you know what I think the biggest scandal besides the IRS was spying on our own James Rosen and his parents, the A.P. as well. I think that was a really big deal.

BECKEL: How about the NSA altogether?

TANTAROS: And if it was a Republican establishment that did it they would be freaking out, going crazy.

PERINO: We need a good political scandal, like something salacious in 2014.

GUILFOYLE: But when the political scandals aren't good enough, thank you Weiner, thank you Ford -- there is always the celebrities.


BEYONCE, SINGER: And the home of the brave --


ALEC BALDWIN, ACTOR: You're the one that almost hit my wife with the microphone in the face.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I did not. BALDWIN: Oh you didn't yes, yes.


BALDWIN: Yes you want to apologize, do you want something. I asked you a question. Do you want to apologize to her -

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I am not apologizing.

BALDWIN: Ok you get the (EXPLETIVE DELETED) out of here.


GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh.

BOLLING: What a jerk.

GUILFOYLE: I think he's going to hide out until like halfway through 2014.

All right stick around again. What's it like there and Beyonce, really good at lip syncing, I couldn't really tell.

BECKEL: But that was the whole point. She was lip syncing there.

GUILFOYLE: I'm doing that right now.

BECKEL: I'm sorry.

TANTAROS: Who cares -- who cares if she was lip-synching, everyone knows that she can sing really well. I don't really think that was a scandal.

BECKEL: Was that her voice actually singing?


BECKEL: It was?

PERINO: I think she's got a good voice.

TANTAROS: She didn't say Miley Cyrus and lip-synch to someone else's song it was her song and she was moving her lips. But I mean her hair looks fantastic, so I'm voting for Beyonce because she helped the nice little girl that had cancer.

BOLLING: Look she lip sync, a lot of them do. But most of them in fact lip sync, on the award shows they lip sync. That's really not that big of a problem. Miley Cyrus, I think that kind of like -- whatever she's fun. I like that. Alec Baldwin is a jerk. He's just a loser.


BOLLING: Look I know his brothers, they are good people. Alec, you've got a problem and you need help, my man. Get some help.

BECKEL: Let's say that again -- you need some real help. Like anger management help.

Miley Cyrus once again I will say this she -- she should have been heading up the prostitutes' New Year's Eve ball. She is a --

TANTAROS: Is there one, Bob?

BECKEL: Yes there is.

TANTAROS: What do you have against twerking Robert?

BECKEL: Twerking, that is not twerking. I mean are you kidding me. You want to see some kids look at that. What does it look like? It looks like it was some cheap sleazy motel on Route One doing the dirty. I mean that what's she looks like.

TANTAROS: And this is different from your --


BECKEL: Listen, I'm not a celebrity. And I don't mind the lip- syncing either. I guess that is ok because she's so beautiful. And outside that -- that's all I have to say.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Thank God. We're going to cut you off at that. Yes, Beyonce I like. Alec Baldwin, I feel bad because the rest of the family is pretty good and I think he's just super ready to blow. I think we haven't seen the last of him. And he did lose his show, Eric. Don't forget about that.

Now let's turn to sports, because athletics is always one to give some great scandals. And let's see what you think of these.


OPRAH WINFREY, TALK SHOW HOST: Yes or no. In all seven of your Tour de France victories, did you ever take banned substances or blood dope?


ALEX RODRIGUEZ, NEW YORK METS: The last seven months have been a nightmare. It has been -- probably the worst time of my life, for sure.

MANTI TE'O, FOOTBALL PLAYER: But I didn't lie. I never was asked did you see her in person. And so through the embarrassment and the fear of what people may think, that I was committed to this person who I didn't have the chance to meet and she all of a sudden died, now that scared me.


GUILFOYLE: I really have no words for that last one. And one more time around the table for old time's sake --

TANTAROS: I don't think Lance was a surprise -- right. A-Rod wasn't a surprise. I mean they are big scandals but did anyone think that Lance wasn't doping? I mean everyone thought he was lying. I didn't believe --

I thought Manti Te'o -- I thought that was a pretty ridiculous, crazy lie that he concocted.

BECKEL: You know, that sounded like me trying to explain my report card to my parents when I was in high school. I mean I got all F's and I changed them to B's. But after I realized I realized, it had to be signed and taken back, you know, I got (inaudible).

But that guy was --

GUILFOYLE: Fake girlfriend.

BECKEL: And his old man was covering up for him. And by the way, A- Rod, come on. I mean you're worst. You're like, you poor $60 million boy -- get out of here.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Dana?

PERINO: Sports --

GUILFOYLE: Your forte, yes. PERINO: I really was disappointed -- the A-Rod thing, I don't know as much about. The Manti Te'o thing, I actually felt -- I ended up feeling really sorry for him because he obviously was making the story up. And then who knows what happened then -- BECKEL: Why did you feel sorry for him for that?

PERINO: Because you have to be really lonely or screwed up inside in order to concoct a story like that and then to have it blow up in your face on international television, I thought that was -- I was sad for him for him. So I hope he's doing better.

Lance Armstrong, I have to say I have no time for. That guy tried. He destroyed many lives and then had showed no remorse for it. And I don't understand how all of the sports -- all of the sports go forward when it comes to doping because we talk about that a lot on here. As my views have changed on the legalization of marijuana, in some ways, I'm still not completely comfortable with it. But I don't know what that means for sports. And I think we'll probably be talking a lot about that in years to come.

BECKEL: You were supporting Lance Armstrong, right?

BOLLING: Yes. Go ahead. Here it comes. Here comes the hate mail. Hate me for this but I don't care if they dope. I don't care if Lance Armstrong dopes. I don't care if A-Rod juices. If you want to do -- ruin their bodies, so be it.

What happens is when you try mandate don't doping or not drugs in baseball, or no drugs in cycling, half the people are going to get away with it because they're cheating and they figure out a way to cheat and half of them aren't going to. They are all going to dope -- they all want to make millions.

BECKEL: So what does that say about high school football players or younger kids? Are they going to start doping too?

BOLLING: As everything else Bob, it is parental responsibility. Take some responsibility. Teach your kids not to do it. When they become adults -- look, I'm all for an 18-year-old knowing enough --

TANTAROS: You're for athletes being ok to dope, but not regular Americans smoking pot.

BOLLING: No, I am too. No, I've completely come across --

TANTAROS: You've changed.

BOLLING: No, no, I -- Andrea I changed about a year and a half ago. I've gone full on return and I've said if you want to smoke weed, smoke weed but don't do it illegally.

BECKEL: Yes. I'll tell you something. As someone who did dope through most of my athletic career, and I'm paying a terrible for it now, it is a terrible, nasty horrible thing to do. And if kids get into it -- I mean I started when I was 16 -- doping. I mean not just dope-dope, I mean doping.

BOLLING: And here you are, you're on the second highest rated show on all cable news doing very well for yourself, aren't you?

BECKEL: Yes, except being held up underneath here by -- now. There are problems that you don't particularly know about nor do you want to hear about.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, anyway yes -- that is for another day.

PERINO: I do want to hear about it.

GUILFOYLE: No, let's not. Don't encourage it.

Do you have any bad habits like Bob that you decided to give up in 2014? Well, we sure do. There's going to be as full reveal. So our New Year's solutions are next on ""The Five"".


ELISABETH HASSELBECK, FOX NEWS HOST: Good evening, everybody, and happy new year from the heart of Times Square. I'm Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

BILL HEMMER, FOX NEWS HOST: And I'm Bill Hemmer. How are you feeling?

HASSELBECK: I feel great. What an exciting night.

HEMMER: Yes, big night. HASSELBECK: And a fantastic way to bring in the New Year. We have Cory and Willy Robertson from "Duck Dynasty" going to join us.

HEMMER: Yes, very much looking forward to that.

HASSELBECK: Yes. HEMMER: Learning how they're doing ringing in the New Year. I mean what a year it's for them too, by the way.

HASSELBECK: 2013 has been nothing short of exciting for them.

HEMMER: My gosh. That's right.

Bill O'Reilly, Charles Krauthammer.


HEMMER: We have got like the cast from ""The Five"". And we have got our entire Fox family gathered tonight to ring in the New Year.

HASSELBECK: I love that. From our family to yours, we are ready to bring in 2014.

HEMMER: Yes. And so this is your first time in Times Square. So throughout the night we're going to be getting your impressions of everything and what you think of the moment here as we bring in '14.

HASSELBECK: It is a time not to be missed. We wish you all a happy New Year.

HEMMER: You got it. HASSELBECK: Thanks for joining us.

HEMMER: See you real soon, everybody. Bye-bye.


DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Welcome back to "The Five"'s countdown to 2014. January 1st is the date that many set for themselves to wipe the slate clean and kick bad habits and start anew.

So what are our resolutions for this year?

I think we should start with Kimberly --

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, FOX NEWS HOST: How many do I have? I'll try to resist the temptation to become one with Bob.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What does that mean?

GUILFOYLE: People say oh, we think you love Bob secretly.

BOB BECKEL, FOX NEWS HOST: She does. But that's OK.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you make resolutions, Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I don't feel that I should, because if I break them or -- give up what? My Godiva chocolates with the caramel inside? I don't want to do that.

BECKEL: And you don't want to give up your number one thing --

GUILFOYLE: Which is? My husband.

BECKEL: No, did you that five times.

PERINO: Save yourself Bob and tell us what your resolution is?

BECKEL: I'm going to go a little serious here.

As I said, I went through a lot -- playing ball I used a lot of substances on top of using other substances on top of using a lot of alcohol and I paid a price for it as I'm getting older.

And I have got to get into a health regimen. I'm trying to work on it now. Because not for me because I'm never going to be a blow dried anchor, good looking like he is, but the fact I want to be around for my kids and I want to be around to do this show.

Going the rate I was going, man, it catches up with you, it just does. So I'm going to try to see if I can do a --

GUILFOYLE: I applaud you for doing that.

BECKEL: -- drinking and drugging, but that doesn't stop eating --

GUILFOYLE: -- giving up sugar.


ANDREA TANTAROS, FOX NEWS HOST: One of our great 2013 five moments was watching you get that sobriety award.

ERIC BOLLING, FOX NEWS HOST: Actually, mine was when you drank the Twinkie.

BECKEL: I never got so sick.

PERINO: But you are going to try to be healthier and try to cut out some sugar. And do you have a goal -- ?

BECKEL: With you around, I haven't had any sugar in three days.

You always go, there is sugar in that.

PERINO: And I poured your sports energy drink down the drain.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Such a good trainer, Dana.

PERINO: You said I paid $5 for that.

BECKEL: That's because Eric got me turned onto Red Bull. That's what it was.

I didn't know it was that full of sugar.

BOLLING: I fast every Tuesday, I don't eat meat and I go to church every day before the show. There is not more I can really do. I'm going to stop going so easy on liberals this year.

BECKEL: Go easy on liberals? Are you kidding me?

TANTAROS: Have you drank that whole bottle of champagne.

BECKEL: Just so people understand. This is not alcohol. It is apple cider.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Boy, is it delicious.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Andrea, what about you? Any resolutions?

TANTAROS: I thought about it and I thought about it, I think maybe living in the moment and not worrying so much. Stopping and going --

PERINO: That's a good one.

TANTAROS: -- this is pretty darn good what just happened and appreciate it. We just fly through the days and I think it is really hard to stop and be thankful and be happy in the moment and not worry and that is what I'm going to do.

PERINO: Well, I'm not going to take away from all of the illicit activities that I do. But I'm going to add some things. I'm going to add a yoga class a week to my schedule, because when I go --


PERINO: -- I really like it. And then I will write down one thing a day that I like about New York City, if I can find one. I tried to do three things a day. That was really hard.

BECKEL: Not mentioning Jasper.

PERINO: And the third thing I'm going to do is take more Jasper photos because I want to get better at the photos I take.

BECKEL: Put me on your mailing list.

GUILFOYLE: Your calendar was very good. You outdid last year.

BECKEL: It was better. It didn't have the doggy thing on the front. But the first one --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's got a lot of Jasper junk in there.


PERINO: All right. Next, the fox, the wrecking ball and the split that took the Internet by storm in 2013.




TANTAROS: Well, time now for some of the top viral videos of 2013.

First up, this one got more than 305 million views on YouTube. It is what does the fox say by a Norwegian comedy duo, Ylvis.




TANTAROS: OK. So a lot of people apparently love this video.

Eric, you love this video? Why?

BOLLING: I absolutely adore this video. A quick story: about six months ago one of the staffers called me, Serge, and he said everybody is talking about what does the fox say and you have to play this on "The Five". I said this is the craziest thing I've ever seen but it had 180 million views at the time. So we did it. We did it in one of the bumpouts on (INAUDIBLE). And everybody looked at me like I was an idiot, but it's fantastic. It's hilarious.


BECKEL: It reminds me of a bad acid trip.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dana, what does the fox say?

Usually that's what they say about you.


PERINO: The fox says what the heck was that?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ding, ding, ding.

PERINO: I don't see the talent. But I like country music so I don't quite get it.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That looks like a nightmare.

BOLLING: And here is what happened

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: -- the animal costumes freak me out, adults and animals.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Is it a weird fetish community that likes it?


BOLLING: But here's what happens. You will not be able to stop doing that.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And that will be in my head.

BECKEL: Would you wear that thing on your head?

Yes, you probably would.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, of course I would.

TANTAROS: Next up, this is much better I think.

With 440 million views on you tube, Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball."




TANTAROS: So what do you think, Kimberly? This is the song that I think high school girls send the guys that broke their heart. But I happen to love the song.

GUILFOYLE: I didn't even know what it was about because I can't get past (INAUDIBLE). And so I said I would cry. If this was my kid, I would feel like I failed somewhere in life if my kid was doing this and riding was naked on a big gigantic ball. And then you have to black out the privates. I'm freaked out by the whole thing. So I don't know.

TANTAROS: Bob, what do you think the wrecking ball would say if it could talk?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Help me. Call the fire department.

Get a big hose.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Explain it again.

BECKEL: (INAUDIBLE) on my shoulders, it would say.




TANTAROS: Eric, you and I love this song. Right?

BOLLING: I love this song.

TANTAROS: Thank you.

BOLLING: You may not like her, but she has talent.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dana's thoughts on the wrecking ball.

PERINO: I love Bob's voice imitating the wrecking ball.


BECKEL: But whatever happened to Hannah Montana? Seriously.



GUILFOYLE: I loved her.

BECKEL: And her father defends this stuff. I mean, God, you know, I've been to a few places and I've seen a few things. But this --

PERINO: Can you imagine what would happen if her dad wasn't defending her? Then what would happen?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I would ground her.

BECKEL: I have a friend of mine that saw his daughter on a porn movie once. He called me, he was so freaked out. I don't blame him, right? I mean, he was so freaked out. He asked me what I could do about it. You can't do anything about it, she's 18. But why Cyrus allows his kid to do this; I guess she's old enough.

BOLLING: How about, I don't know, a hundred million bucks?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I was going to say, she's made her parents --

BECKEL: She couldn't get a hundred million without showing her (INAUDIBLE)?

TANTAROS: And last but not least --

BECKEL: She's showing her watermelons like that?


We have one more.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: More like cherries.

TANTAROS: One more of our personal favorites here on "The Five", this one got more than 65 million views on YouTube this year, Jean-Claude van Damme's epic split for Volvo.



TANTAROS: Bob, did you ever do something similar in your drinking days?

BECKEL: No, and I wouldn't get up for the next six years. I wonder what he felt like the next day? I can tell you one thing, he wasn't doing the duty, I know that.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You don't know. How much you want to make a bet?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Kimberly, you liked it.

GUILFOYLE: I love this guy. I love Jean-Claude van Damme. I love all his movies like the one where he's got the evil twin. And I always used to say kick him like Jean-Claude van Damme. This was done on one take. I'm a believer. You go.

BOLLING: No chance. No chance in heck that that is real.

There is absolutely no way they'd let Jean-Claude --

BECKEL: You think you could do that when you were in --

BOLLING: In all of his movies, he does those splits in all of his movies. He can do the splits.

GUILFOYLE: He does all of his own stunts and he is for real.


TANTAROS: Come on. Dana just looked at me and went, I'm good, don't have to ask me anything about this video.

BECKEL: Seriously, think about that, guys.

TANTAROS: Don't go away, "The Five" of us give our predictions for 2014 when we come back.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, mine is good.




UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We have no self-respect.


BECKEL: You have to do something to be on this show. It is time for our predictions for 2014. Here is mine. ObamaCare will be much better than these people predict and not cost Democrats that many seats.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Wishful thinking.

BECKEL: Come on, let's go.

Kimberly, go. Say something.

GUILFOYLE: Mine is to stop (INAUDIBLE) infighting and I think they can have a banner year in 2014. Take back the Senate. And I think two surprise victories and losses for your team.

BECKEL: Hey, don't tweet my thing there.

PERINO: For those of you listening on radio, he meant his kazoo.


BECKEL: Let's go. We have to move. Bolling, you are up.

BOLLING: Same prediction as last year. I came so close this year, I think this is the year that "The Five" is number one in all of cable news. We're knocking on the door. So pretty soon.


PERINO: OK, I have a prediction. It doesn't have to do with politics.

I predict that Kate Middleton will announce that she's pregnant with the second royal baby by the end of 2014.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God. You so (INAUDIBLE). He gets so mad at me when I do royal stuff.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Great prediction.

BECKEL: Andrea, go ahead.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's a solid one.

TANTAROS: I think the media will start to turn on Chris Christie, the golden boy, and you will start to hear this push, women, women, we need a woman president. And a celebrity quick prediction. I think Alec Baldwin and Hilaria are going to -- I think he will turn on her.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, I think she may turn on him.

BECKEL: One more thing is up next.


BOLLING: Time for one more thing. And K.G., kick us off.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, I hope you keep it here on the FOX News channel. Our Happy New Year's Eve special is starting right now with Big Daddy over here and myself.

Can you handle it?

BECKEL: Yes, baby. He can handle it.


BECKEL: You have to handle it.

GUILFOYLE: It's going to be fantastic. We have surprises from Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly. We'll be joined by Ainsley Earhardt and Rick Leventhal. It's going to be fantastic. And then of course our very own Bill Hemmer and Elisabeth Hasselbeck will also be on deck, taking it in to the new year here right on the FOX News channel. Be there.

BECKEL: How come they didn't show pictures of us?

GUILFOYLE: We are too good looking. We may blow up the scene.

BECKEL: Just to follow up what I said before, my resolutions, I'm committing myself to lose 25 pounds by June.


BECKEL: I can do that, yes, even if Dana is on my back I can lose 50.


BECKEL: And not because -- for those of you right wingers out there keep saying you fat (INAUDIBLE) commie, it is not about that, it's about staying healthy for my kids and to torment you.

GUILFOYLE: Bobby, do you have anything to say about the New Year's Eve show?

BECKEL: Yes, I do. You have to watch the New Year's Eve show, you know why?

Because you and I are getting in a snuggie together.

GUILFOYLE: It will take the fire department to pry us out.

BECKEL: We will try to get in that one.

BOLLING: That's must-see TV.

Andrea, you are up.

TANTAROS: OK. A couple of little fun facts. Prosecco, according to "Time" magazine, is now replacing champagne as the drink of choice this year. And some fun facts. When you pour this evening, pour it at a 45 degree angle or there will be too many bubbles and then you're going to lose a lot of alcohol and each bottle has 49 million bubbles inside.

Isn't that interesting?


TANTAROS: I love -- I do not discriminate. I love Prosecco. I love champagne. I love --

BECKEL: I could drink that stuff by the case. But I'd never get drunk.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How do they know it is 49 million?

TANTAROS: I don't know. They also know that 300 (INAUDIBLE) will be consuming glasses of champagne this evening.

2014 will be an awesome year.


BECKEL: You know, mine says 2004. (INAUDIBLE).

PERINO: So, after the Kimberly Bob special and Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Bill Hemmer if you stay up 29 minutes more past midnight, you will see a very special "RED EYE" that includes Greg Gutfeld, your host, Andy Levy, Sherrod, Gavin and me. Here's a peek.



UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Coming up a look back at the year in news no one covered except "RED EYE" including the world's most dedicated dogs refusing to stop jumping rope until ObamaCare is repealed.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You were saying why all the hate about crack when it is just hard coke and then you walked out.


PERINO: Anyway, we had a really great time. You are going to want to see Gavin making fun of uptalking, people end their sentences like this. It is a "RED EYE" not to be missed. So take (INAUDIBLE).

BECKEL: It is nice that we can promote Greg's show. Because what's going to start to happen now, starting in about February, we have to promote his damn book for six months. At least I'd like to promote his book.

PERINO: Do you know the name of his new book?

BECKEL: I don't care what it is.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Not cool actually.

BECKEL: Not cool.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why don't you write one?

BECKEL: I am writing one.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: All right. Well, why don't you publish it?

BECKEL: It is called, "I Should Have Been Dead." It'll be out this year.

BOLLING: Did you trademark that title?

BECKEL: Oh, no.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You should have been trademarked.

BOLLING: I wanted my last one more thing, I just want to say Happy New Year to everyone. Have a great, safe evening tonight. Party, drink, do your thing but don't get in the car and drive afterwards. Enjoy everything in moderation. That's what it is all about. Feliz Ano Nuevo, everybody --


BECKEL: Moderation, yes.


BOLLING: So, who's on your -- is Bill O'Reilly calling in or is he going to be there?

GUILFOYLE: Oh. That's a spoiler alert we will have to surprise you.

BECKEL: We can't tell you about that. What I'm really looking forward to is Bill standing right next to me.

GUILFOYLE: Remember what he called you?


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Who's taller, Bob or O'Reilly?

PERINO: Remember when he called the show when we first started and he was on the 17th floor?

BOLLING: He was our phoner.

PERINO: That's when he thought "The Five" would end in three weeks.

BOLLING: That's it, guys. Have a great show. Looking forward to 2014 with you guys.

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year with our troops. Also to Greg and Juan, who aren't with us tonight. And all of you, our very loyal fans, thank you very much for helping make 2013 our best year yet.

Don't forget, FOX's "All-American New Year" starts 9 p.m. Eastern with Kimberly and Bob and then Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Bill Hemmer take over at 10 p.m. Happy New Year, everyone.

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