This is a rush transcript from "The Five" on August 13, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated. 

LAWRENCE JONES, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Lawrence Jones along
with Kat Timpf, Jessica Tarlov, Dagen McDowell, and Greg Gutfeld. It's five
o'clock in New York City, and this is The Five.

So, President Biden is kicking up his feet and enjoying vacation while
major problems pile up at home and overseas. Inflation is running rampant,
gas prices and the cost of pretty much everything that we buy is surging,
the disaster at the border isn't getting -- is getting worse and sets a new
record for crossings every single month.

Biden's DHS secretary was caught on leaked audio saying what he really
thinks about the situation. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ALEJANDRO MAYORKAS, U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY: This is
unsustainable. These numbers cannot continue. We cannot get to a point over
more couple of weeks ago. And we're going to make sure that doesn't happen.
We're looking at the policy officers.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

JONES: And Afghanistan is unraveling. The Taliban has taken over new
territory by the hour. The Pentagon says the terror group is trying to
isolate the capital of Kabul. And a defense official tells Fox the city
could fall as soon as tomorrow. This is of course the total opposite of
what the president said back in July.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: There's going to be no
circumstance you're going to see people being lifted off the roof of a
embassy of the United States from Afghanistan. It is not at all
comfortable. But the likelihood there's going to be the Taliban overrunning
everything and owning the whole country is highly unlikely.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

JONES: Jessica, is this the proper time to go on vacation? Of course,
you're always the president you deserve a break, but with so many crises,
is this is the right?

JESSICA TARLOV, FOX NEWS HOST: So, I did a little research in advance of
coming here so I would be vacation prepared before we went into it. This is
something that get lobbed at every president. It happened with President
Obama when he went off to Hawaii. Trump played golf 25 times during the
first few months of COVID when we lost hundreds of thousands of people and
unemployment soared.

But the Afghanistan situation of all of the things that you listed off
there is the one that is most deeply troubling, and I think especially too
President Biden considering the role that he played on the Senate foreign
relations committee when he was in the Senate and then as vice president as
well.

And I think it's really telling when you see the reactions of people like
John Kirby who is part of the administration now. Molly Montgomery who is
also on the State Department tweeted and then deleted --

JONES: Deleted.

TARLOV: -- that she woke up with a heavy heart thinking of the Afghan women
and girls, that they work so hard to create a thriving civil society force
that they can succeed and prosper in Afghanistan. And I think that that's
the only one that sticks out to me that says you should -- you should be
close to home for this.

But generally, I don't think going to Camp David he's going to be on the
phone the entire time. He's not going to be on a jet ski and ignoring the
fact that this is going on in Afghanistan.

JONES: Yes, I think it's just problematic when you have a tax going on
right now and literally --

(CROSSTALK)

TARLOV: If Kabul falls tomorrow, it will not look great.

JONES: -- people -- you literally have the State Department sending out
guidance saying get rid of all the important documents because they could
come at our embassy. I think that's a bad optics wise.

Greg, I want to click you because the border is out of control. This leaked
audio is something that we knew to be true already but they're just
admitting it right now.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: There's leaked audio?

JONES: Yes, it was a leaked audio.

GUTFELD: I thought it was going to show up.

JONES: No.

GUTFELD: Look, in general but we're seeing right -- I didn't know anything
about the leaked audio. So, I was like looking and waiting for it. Anyway,
you got to -- right now we have inflation, we have crime, we have
Afghanistan, we have gas shortages. We are living in the 1970s. We are
living in a reboot of that 70s show and Joe Biden is one of the most
effective time travelers of the world but he brought us back to the worst
decade ever.

But I want to talk to you about Afghanistan. Because I think this is --
this is the hardest topic to talk about because we haven't been talking
about it. We -- I'm going to say, I -- I have not talked about Afghanistan
on this show or in any kind of reoccurring segment for probably five years.

So, for me to like express some kind of passion or expertise about pulling
out, I can't do that because there's something about that. I've not been
talking about this so I'm not going to pretend to be engaged in this.

So, what does say that we haven't talked about it? It's, I guess what it
says is that our troops have done such an amazing job that we stopped
talking about it. It became a forgotten war. So, we just went on -- we just
went on with our lives. We went on with our lives.

So now we have to pull out and now we are being reminded from the pull out
that the Taliban are still monsters. They're still bad people, but for the
last five years or 10 years, we've done such a great job we kind of don't
hear about that that much. So, it's a tribute to the troops that we just
forgot about this. But then what we do next?

And also, I have a question about how is this possible? How is the Taliban
-- how is the Taliban still able to just -- shouldn't they be, quote,
"decimated" which I know is only 10 percent? But I mean, couldn't --
shouldn't the Taliban be kind of like down to a very small group of people
over 20 years? How is it?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS HOST: Right. I have a very close source to me who was
an Afghan war veteran and my husband. And he has been upset about this
because we spent a trillion dollars there equipping people, and you know,
training Afghan soldiers. And 20 years later, this all falls apart within a
month. And he's saying when he was there 12 years ago, he was saying to
himself this isn't working. What we're doing here isn't working.

And documents came out in 2019 that a lot of people at the top they knew
that this would happen as soon as we left. They knew that they were not
making any long-term progress. If this was anything else, this was a
building we spent all this money and lives were lost they did all fell
down, there would be an investigation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But here, these, you know, people who are in charge, the officials
they are being promoted throughout companies, there's no accountability.
He's really upset about it and passion about it. You know, West Point, he
lost classmates in Afghanistan. Other ones who were very seriously hurt,
not to mention mental problems like PTSD they are also very serious.

So, I think that there really needs to be some accountability here. This
kind of money, these kinds of lives lost this many years and it falls
within a month. Anywhere else without some accountability but it all plays
into the whole military industrial complex.

JONES: So, let's unpack that, Dagen. A lot of people are criticizing the
strategy. You are never going to defeat terrorism at large. The original
mission was to go out there and get the bad guys that harmed us. The
Taliban was going to go into another organization and then they went in
there and they decided they were going to try to nation build, and build
schools, and help women. And the mission changed from getting the people
that attacked us to building the country.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX NEWS HOST: It was held fast the pull out happened. So
many people wanted our troops out of Afghanistan, but they cut and run,
like how fast that we pulled out in the middle of the night with no notice
from Bagram Air Force, that Bagram Air Base.

We basically pulled the air support, that we pulled the air support and the
private contractors and listen to this this stat. That the contractors now
are having Zoom calls to assist while the U.S. military is flying sorties
from Middle East. So, it's just been an utter disaster in terms of the
speed with which we pulled out and didn't think about the women and the
teachers and the children who would be raped and enslaved or murdered.

So that's the bigger problem. But can I just generally talk about Biden?

JONES: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Like he was elected because the adults were supposed to be in
charge.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: But now the adults are in hiding.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Where is the guy? I know that it must be exhausting setting
America back four to five years in seven months that he needs to get a map.
But he -- what America needs right now is somebody to step up with a
coherent speech to speak to the American people about the direction of the
nation overseas and here at home or the downward spiral.

GUTFELD: He should send Kamala to Afghanistan. She was great at the border.

JONES: No.

MCDOWELL: But where is she?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: So, but he -- my point is, is that every time he gets up to speak
to the American people, it looks like he has eaten a few meatballs of
Benadryl.

JONES: Is this --

(CROSSTALK)

MCDOWELL: And the people are not confident in what he is doing. And what's
even worse or more horrible or horrible is the media. The media is on a
permanent vacation with this guy.

GUTFELD: Right.

MCDOWELL: You have consumer confidence today fell to the lowest level in 10
years. Real wages inflation adjusted wages have --

JONES: Out of control.

MCDOWELL: -- inflation adjusted wages this year have fallen every month
since Biden took office.

TIMPF: People were dancing in the streets, there are so excited everything
was going to be great and --

(CROSSTALK)

MCDOWELL: Trump said today, you miss me?

JONES: I mean, that has been his message for a while now.

TARLOV: I know and -- yes.

GUTFELD: But yet, you're wearing red. Clearly, this is a subliminal tribute
to Donald Trump.

(CROSSTALK)

JONES: She stays in parties.

GUTFELD: Jessica, you realize -- you realize you've made a mistake. It's
OK. It's OK to admit you're wrong. By the way, when Trump is reinstituted
as president --

(CROSSTALK)

TARLOV: That's 20 seconds --

JONES: Yes.

TARLOV: -- it's coming right. And I just have a lot of (Inaudible) clothes
at home.

GUTFELD: Which I think is a smart thing.

TARLOV: Joe Biden was out this week talking about a bipartisan
infrastructure deal which he was able to get done and can actually --

(CROSSTALK)

MCDOWELL: Which is falling apart because of Pelosi and Schumer.

TARLOV: It is -- that's funny kind of infrastructure joke, by the way, that
it's already falling apart.

MCDOWELL: It's not because of his own people, Jessica. Nancy Pelosi saying,
hey, you've got to send us this $3.5 trillion bill, which people are
backing away from because inflation is spiking and she's holding up what is
a legitimate bipartisan deal is the win for Biden and she won't give it to
her.

(CROSSTALK)

JONES: We still got a --

TARLOV: But you said where is Biden. I told where he was.

JONES: We've got a lot of TV left.

TARLOV: OK.

JONES: Up next, Governor Ron DeSantis stand off on President Biden on what
he calls the biggest threat to freedom of his lifetime. That's next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TARLOV: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis upping the ante in his battle with
the White House after a weeklong war of words over mask mandates. This time
DeSantis accusing President Biden of crossing the line and clamping down on
freedoms.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. RON DESANTIS (R-FL): They are basically saying that we are all just
subservient to medical authoritarianism. Whatever they think needs to be
done, we have to submit to it. That is, it's probably, Tucker, the most
significant threat to freedom in my lifetime, certainly since the fall of
the Berlin Wall.

They have this obsession with Florida. And look, obviously we are cutting
against the grain, we're standing up to federal overreach and we are proud
to doing that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TARLOV: That play playing out while cities enforce new mandates.
Philadelphia forcing all unvaccinated city employees to be double masked
starting next month. A New York City restaurant sounding the alarm about
being forced to vaccination police for their customers.

So, Lawrence, you are the resident libertarian at the table today.

(CROSSTALK)

JONES: I got company today.

TARLOV: I'm going to ask you the exact same question. I said I'm prepared I
forgot.

JONES: Yes.

TARLOV: Is this the greatest assault on freedom since the fall of the
Berlin Wall or we're talking cable news hyperbole?

JONES: Well, this is just the fact that a lot of people in power are
finally admitting to what they believe. And it's not exclusive to
Democrats. You got Asa Hutchinson as well, a Republican governor that is
doing the same thing.

And I find it troubling, especially when we have Arnold Schwarzenegger that
is saying the silent thing out loud now. It's just, you know, we don't care
about your freedom. You do what we tell you to do. Just get the vaccine and
put a mask on. And time after time they continue to tell you that there is
science that supports this.

Now, that's obviously not true because every time you call them on the
science, they cannot provide it for you especially they haven't done the
necessary research, especially when it comes to the mask for the children.
But they continue to cite this.

But this was OK. And the reason why they got away with this for so long
because the narrative was that these were just Republican conservative,
MAGA country, white voters that believe this way.

Lo and behold, apparently, they weren't talking to black folks because a
lot of black folks are troubled by the vaccines. Because they don't believe
in it, because the government did something wrong with Tuskegee and all
those kids that are out today, I think the New York Times said only 28
percent of young black people are vaccinated in the city. So, all the black
kids aren't allowed in the stores and restaurants now.

It is a terrible strategy. And I'll end with this. It's going to pay --
they're going to pay at the ballot box when it's all said and done. The one
number that Joe Biden was doing very well with was with COVID and he's
dropped 10 points.

So, I would be cautious on this issue. I do think it's a little sketchy
that the CDC said that they just happen to mix up the numbers in Florida
because they were fighting with Ron DeSantis. I think that was what got
them -- it was doubled what they reported, so a lot of troubling things
happening right now.

TARLOV: So, I want to pick up on one aspect about what Lawrence said, which
is that there is no science to back this up. And I know that there has been
flip flopping on the mask in particular, but the science is very clear
about the vaccine itself and that it protects people. And if you are going
to get COVID you are going to get a mild case versus ending up on a
ventilator in the hospital. So, isn't that?

TIMPF: I got the vaccine. I got the vaccine.

(CROSSTALK)

TARLOV: That's why I'm sitting next to you.

TIMPF: I encourage other people to get the vaccine, talk to your doctor.
But also, every now and then I like to just step back and do a sort of
bird's eye view. Imagine this is two years ago and you're seeing us all
sitting here debating about whether or not the government should have the
right to tell private businesses. That they need to require certain medical
documents from their patrons in order to allow them inside after they just
forced them to shut down for over a year, and they're desperately trying to
make up that money.

Or, you know, if your kid is not, you know, your two-year-old is not
wearing a face covering are they are or are they not a murderer. You would
think that there was a glitch in the matrix if you are watching this. And
now we're just supposed to, you know, have it like it's some normal
conversation. It's not normal.

I got vaccinated. I followed the rules. I had 30 people at my wedding which
is, you know, Rashida Tlaib went to that wedding. It looks like there was a
lot more people than that there. OK. So, I think that's where people are
getting frustrated too is the hypocrisy.

But I really reject the whole new normal, new normal, this is OK idea. This
isn't OK with me and it's not OK with a lot of people because it's not how
human beings are meant to live.

TARLOV: I agree, it's not OK with me either and I don't love freedom as
much as Kat.

TIMPF: I love it.

TARLOV: But I'm listening to Ron DeSantis talk right now and it is
obviously been a big week for Cuomo who embarrassingly went on a press
tour, he wrote a book, got an Emmy and all these things saying we beat
COVID in our state. And DeSantis is out there talking about it. And it is.
Even though the numbers weren't as high as the CDC reported. Florida it
doesn't matter.

JONES: It does matter.

TARLOV: They still are peaking in hospitals. They just got ventilators from
the federal government. Dagen, do you think this is appropriate?

MCDOWELL: I think what's most inappropriate is that when you left out the
15,000 elderly people that Andy Cuomo killed and then lied about it and
covered it up and stick his gules on the grieving families. So that was the
biggest problem for him.

As far as Ron DeSantis, so, I'm going to start calling Biden a freedom
clamper, like everybody who gets in my way you're a freedom clamper. So,
Ron DeSantis is the villain because he wants to give -- and it's really
about children under the age of 12 who are going -- going to go to school
who can't get vaccinated.

Do you force the parents to put a mask on their face? Ron DeSantis ops for
choice. But felonious Murphy, the governor or whatever his first name is in
New Jersey, is telling every school you have -- every parent in that state,
you want to talk about government overreach.

He's selling every parent in that state you have to put a mask on your kid.
But nobody has that problem with Murphy, Just Murphy as one example. And in
terms of we have seen a heaping mound of garbage and dump, you know what in
the last year and a half 18 months, but the double masking in Philadelphia,
which, by the way, you got two mask on, they don't fit.

But you're essentially telling the workers that one mask doesn't work. You
have to wear two. That's how stupid we are.

TARLOV: Greg, take us home.

GUTFELD: OK. I have my Uber out in front.

There is a difference between the vax hesitant and the pro-vax lecturers.

JONES: Right.

GUTFELD: The vax hesitant have a number of reasons and we don't even bother
to ask whether they are immunocompromise, there's a lot of women that are
worried about pregnancy. And I think it is safe for women who are pregnant
but it's completely natural to be concerned about that.

I showed -- I showed a chart the other day that said that there are things
that are unknown about the vaccine even though I'm pro-vaccine. The
difference between that and the pro-vax lecturers, and I'm talking about
the people that are being jerks, that actually think they can go and tell
you how to live is that they only see one thing. You have to get a
vaccination. It's like, what if I can't? What if I'm scared? What is I
looked at and I don't want to do it? Who the hell I you?

And I do believe this bizarre squabble would not exist if someone was --
someone out there, i.e., the media wasn't pushing a conflict for the sake
of ratings. I think that when you subtract the media from every kind of
issue or story, the world is a better place.

And I'm saying that as a -- as a member of the media. That when we tack --
when we tack on to something, it immediately turns it into the prism of two
ideas. It destroys the nuance.

And lastly, why authoritarianism is so frightening is that it appeals to
some inmate need of having power over others. And people can be easily
assigned an opinion that they didn't have before. And that's the key to the
pro-vaccine people. Is that, generally, they shouldn't care what you are
doing.

JONES: Right.

GUTFELD: But they are being assigned an opinion to care. They are being
told you must be angry about this, but really, you know what, I'm
vaccinated and I'm trying to get my family vaccinated. Whatever you do, you
do. That's life. Right? But they are having their opinion assigned to them.
No, no, no. You must go after them. You must be part of the mob.

JONES: Right.

GUTFELD: You must scare the crap out of --

TARLOV: That's --

GUTFELD: Got a little announcement.

TARLOV: Yes. Pro-vax people --

(CROSSTALK)

MCDOWELL: Can I add something real quick, though?

GUTFELD: I think we're having an announcement.

TARLOV: Yes. OK. Up next, corporate America being put on notice over
criticism for pushing a woke political agenda. Goodbye maybe forever.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MCDOWELL: Americans are fed up with corporations pushing woke politics from
Coca-Cola to Major League Baseball it seems like liberal ideology is
creeping in everywhere. Just this week American Express got called out for
telling employees capitalism is racist.

Entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy is exposing how these giant companies mix
politics with business and use it to influence our lives. He has a new book
coming out called "Woke Incorporated" and a special airing this Sunday on
Fox News at 10 p.m. Eastern and it will also be available on Fox Nation
that day. Here's a preview.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

VIVEK RAMASWAMY, AUTHOR, WOKE, INC.: I think there is now as I said before,
a Chinese word for wokeness, 'biteswo.' They understand this game far more
deeply than any of us do. And I think that they are now using wokeism as a
geopolitical tool to advance their own agenda.

MIKE POMPEO, FORMER U.S. SECRETARY OF STATE: There's nothing like getting
it wrong here at home. If we aren't focused on the things that matter, the
values that the founders left to us that understanding of our republic,
then the Chinese Communist Party will have the space.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

MCDOWELL: Vivek, thanks so much for being here. How bad does it have to get
before corporations stop doing this?

RAMASWAMY: Well, in fact, how bad it's gotten is actually feeding even
worse behavior going forward because that's what I was talking about right
there. They are effectively doing what allows them to make the most money
at the expense of American interest. They will go to China. They won't see
a peep about injustice in China but they will constantly criticize alleged
social injustice here at home which has geopolitical consequences that
weaken us compared to China.

And that's just the first part of it. The real threat that I talk about in
the special is this is a threat to American democracy, where each of us
should have a say in what constitutes our moral values rather than a small
group of CEOs and investors.

GUTFELD: Vivek, you were on my show, I don't know a couple weeks ago and we
were talking about how this is kind of misdirection.

RAMASWAMY: Yes.

GUTFELD: That the corporations go woke so you won't pay actually attention
to the outrageous profits they make, the high interest rates and their
slogans like membership has its privileges. As they -- as they lecture
their employees on privilege, they are charging outrageous high-interest
rates. That's -- what they're trying to do is to be dumb activists, hey,
look over here while we can still do this.

So, I thought I had an idea. What if -- what if we ask American Express to
put their money where their mouth is and cancel credit card debt, $800
billion, right? If you really believe in social justice and equity, why
don't you do the right thing and -- it's like, five -- I think it's five
million Americans are having -- it's an average of $5,000 a debt. Why don't
they do that?

RAMASWAMY: So, Greg, you just nailed it. These companies blow woke smoke to
cover the topics they'd rather not be talking about. That is what this
whole charade is about. Finding about American Express, you nailed it, is
their black card doesn't apply to Black people. It actually applies to
people who spend millions of dollars per year.

So, there's the first commandment of woke capitalism, which is the more
ruthless your business is, the more woke you have to act. That is the game.
That is the charade. And I think the first step in solving the problem is
actually just putting some sunlight on the issue. Putting sunlight on the
issue exposes the hypocrisy and doesn't let them have it both ways.

MCDOWELL: I have to correct you, though, because it's not smoke because
smoke raises the Earth's temperature. It is like harmless vapor that
they're blowing.

RAMASWAMY: Well, climate change is indeed one of their favorite topics,
especially the racially disparate impact of climate change, which is a
great way of changing the topic from economic injustice which corporations
love to do.

MCDOWELL: Yes, environment -- it's environmental racism.

JONES: So, Vivek, Greg hit on something. So, my big question is, do they
actually believe in this stuff? They promised $50 billion all these
companies to Black causes. They've only given out $250 million. It was an
article in the Wall Street Journal unfortunate. So, is this all about
virtue signaling, and not actually putting the money where the mouth is?

RAMASWAMY: I think it is mostly about virtue signaling. And here's the
problem with virtue signaling is at some point, signaling your virtue
becomes more important than being virtuous itself. And I think you take a
company like Unilever, which talks about the immutable laws of
intersectionality according to its CEO, Alan Jope, yet does not pay its
Kenyan tea pickers who are ultimately raped, in some cases, killed and
maimed by their own colleagues who are now seeking justice from Unilever.
And Unilever is denying that to them. That's one of things I've talked
about in the book. That's one of the rules of how this game is actually
played.

But at the end of the day, I think it's even worse when some of them are
authentic about it. Jack Dorsey isn't doing it just to make an extra buck.
He has enough bucks. Some of these guys who are doing it authentically are
even worse. They're using their market power to exercise undue influence in
the marketplace of ideas. So, it's a little bit of both.

TIMPF: Yeah, I have I have a question. Well, piggybacking off what a lot of
people said here, they're not really doing anything. I hear about a lot of
seminars, right, which is, as far as I understand it, you sit there, you
eat sandwiches. If they really cared, why do these people go out and
volunteer? And why aren't more people calling them out on that?

I think a lot of it is they make people afraid. How do people get beyond
this fear of saying, you're not really woke, you're just sitting there
eating sandwiches and listening to somebody say crazy stuff.

RAMASWAMY: It is this new culture of fear in every direction. But in
corporate America, the way it works, is you'd rather be talking about woke
values or applauding diversity and inclusion, or applauding equity or
musing about the racially disparate impact of climate change, than you
would be talking about Occupy Wall Street, which is actually when I think
all of this began, after the '08 financial crisis, Wall Street was scared
of Occupy Wall Street. But getting on these woke values, that was actually
really easy. So, that's when all of this began in the last decade is really
the aftereffect of what's happened since then.

MCDOWELL: Jessica.

TARLOV: Hi, Vivek. They save the wokest for last. I was particularly taken
by what we saw in the little preview where you said that wokism is being
used as a geopolitical tool. Can you expound on that a little bit more?

RAMASWAMY: Sure. So, effectively, the way it works in China is they will
build a great Chinese wall that prevents you from entering the Chinese
market if you criticize the CCP, but they will roll out the red carpet if
you criticize the United States. So, if you take Disney, they said they
couldn't film it in the state of Georgia if Georgia passes a new anti-
abortion statute, but they filmed Milan in the Xinjiang province of China
which is ground zero of the Uyghur human rights crisis, and they actually
praise the CCP.

And what that allows China to do is when they get pressed on their human
rights issues by the U.N., by the E.U., the thing that Xi Jinping now says
is that Black Lives Matter shows that the United States is no better
because the international arbiters of moral justice, the supposedly neutral
corporations are praising China while they're criticizing the United
States.

So, I think that's actually dangerous geopolitically. It undermines our
greatest asset which isn't our nuclear arsenal, it is our moral standing on
the global stage. That's what's at stake here.

MCDOWELL: Exceptionalism. Thanks, Vivek. Thank you so much, Vivek. Great to
see you. I can't wait to watch the show, read the book. "WOKE INCORPORATED"
is this Sunday night at 10:00 p.m. Eastern. Thank you so much, Vivek. Up
next, a nightmare for potheads everywhere. Marijuana is making climate
change worse. Greg?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TIMPF: Some troubling news for progressives who love pot. A new report says
carbon emissions from growing marijuana pose a huge threat to the climate.
For example, most cannabis setups use 40 times more energy compared to
producing things like lettuce. The average operation consumes more power
than 14 typical homes.

First of all, I don't understand the premise of this study because every
article, it had the whole 40 times more than lettuce, but I don't know why
we're comparing weed in lettuce. They're not the same make a swap in your
salad. If don't believe me, you'll have a very different afternoon.

Lawrence, what's the alternative, just illegal weed then? I mean, I don't
get it.

JONES: Well, I think they're targeting the people that produce weed
indoors. But that's the most expensive weed because they can control the
environment and make it better. I know a lot about weed. The reason is
because I think people should be able to do whatever they want to do. And I
just think this is just a reason to attack the industry is a lot of people
locked up for this. I don't like it.

But honestly, this is not a conservative-like fight. Like, you liberals
duke it out. Like, it's the green people and liberal green people fighting
it up. The Conservatives and Libertarians are like --

TIMPF: Yes, I'm over here and like, legalize heroin for like 10 years.

JONES: It's not our fight.

TIMPF: Not my fight.

JONES: Let them duke it out.

TIMPF: Jessica, it also this study acknowledges that the illegal drug
market actually uses even more, you know, fossil fuels. So, why isn't this
-- why do we care?

TARLOV: I don't know.

TIMPF: Do you care? I heard you couldn't sleep last night.

TARLOV: I couldn't sleep. I'm with my dirty dresses, which is why I'm in
red. No, I don't care. And I think that the country is moving in the right
direction though too slowly about the legalization of drugs. There are too
many people obviously behind bars for petty offenses.

But I think the real problem is that the pot industry is booming, and that
people who were typically in charge don't have control of it. So, you have
small entrepreneurs, a lot of them. You have a lot of minority
entrepreneurs that are now making millions and millions of dollars off of
legalized weed and that pisses off people in positions of power.

And then as someone who works in polling, they come and they commissioned a
poll and study to say this is garbage. And then it gets out there and
everyone still gets high.

TIMPF: And everyone still gets high.

TARLOV: Everyone still gets high.

TIMPF: Everyone still gets high. What's better, legal or, you know,
increasing the demand for the supply of the cartels and putting people in
prison who don't deserve it? And also, Dagen, 80,000 jobs out. It's
constant economic boom. What's bad?

MCDOWELL: Nothing is bad. I don't understand that any of these green progs
not like take marketing. Why go after everything that we love, weed, steak,
cars, and Bitcoin?

TIMPF: It's a great afternoon.

MCDOWELL: That is -- that is the best -- right, that is the best Saturday
night ever. So, why do they go after things that we like so then they make
us hate them? They need to get people on board, right?

TIMPF: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Again, like weed over lettuce. Like, choose weed over --

TIMPF: Yes, what do you want to do this weekend, Greg?

MCDOWELL: What do you want to give -- what do you want to give --

TIMPF: Weed or lettuce? I mean, what are your thoughts, Greg?

GUTFELD: I want -- what I would like to see is I would like to see this --
whoever is complaining about this, actually directly address the illegal
drug market. I would like to see Bill Nye, the Science Guy, go to South
Compton and lecture a Blood or a Crip about whatever's going on, or go
Southside Chicago. I want to see you talk to the Mexican drug gangs and
lecture them.

But the thing -- here's the deal. It's like, part of me says you can't let
pot off the hook if they're not letting everything else off the hook,
right? Everything gasoline, crack, everything is said to get. But it goes
to the eternal climate activist equation. Anything produced by humans that
makes our lives better is bad for the planet. And everything that is more
expensive in which the wealthy can handle and unreliable energy-wise, like
solar panels, or only made in China cheaply, is the solution.

So, what happens is we are dealing with a lot of people who have climate
privilege, right? You have people living in Malibu who talked about how
it's getting hotter, and they don't realize that warming temperatures save
more lives in other parts of the world. That doesn't interest them. And
they can afford it. They can afford the alternative energies. A lot of
people can't This is more snobbery, but I still would like to see Bill Nye,
the Science Guy --

JONES: Are you saying though that we may be the great unifier and take down
to climate activists?

GUTFELD: I think you know what it is. It's like what we said in the
beginning. It's going to be fun to watch if they fight it out themselves,
but I don't think they will.

JONES: They won't.

TIMPF: They won't.

GUTFELD: They would rather go after -- you know, oil in Texas than pot, you
know, in the village.

TIMPF: Pot in every village. "FAN MAIL FRIDAY" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Oh yes, it's "FAN MAIL FRIDAY." I love getting fan mail. We're
answering your questions. First question from JustMeMarry57, that means
there were 56 JustMeMarys before her. Are you a planner or you -- do you
just wing it? Believe me, I had a plan even asking that question. Dagen,
you're a planner, right?

MCDOWELL: Yes, is the stack of research for the three segments that we've
done or four, is that the -- yes, the giveaway? I get high anxiety and
panic attacks if I'm not planning. I'm not -- I'm not a winger at all.

GUTFELD: You have to plan, Lawrence, in order to wing.

JONES: Well, I thought I was a planner until I got into this business
because they just mess up your schedule. Breaking news, you got to -- you
just got to go with the flow.

GUTFELD: That's true.

JONES: I think this job made me go with the flow more.

GUTFELD: You know what, this is -- Jessica, this is why I could never do
"FOX AND FRIENDS."

TIMPF: I'm just going to say, you got to plan like three days ahead to get
up that early.

JONES: There's no planning. There's no planning.

GUTFELD: It's either planning for your entire life or you just have to wing
it for four hours like Kilmeade does.

TARLOV: You said that, I did not. I'm a big planner too. I think in my
advanced age, like in my 30s, I've gotten more comfortable with like not
having a reservation. But just for dinner, one night.

TIMPF: I'm a planner too because I get -- I have too much anxiety. I have
too much anxiety.

TARLOV: We have no wingers at the table.

TIMPF: No, I'm a planner.

GUTFELD: You know what? Successful people plan.

JONES: Right.

GUTFELD: Unsuccessful people winging it, and then you pay the price of
they're winging it and -- you always had the friend that says, dude, man,
we'll just get there. We'll figure it out.

TIMPF: You work at Spencer's. You can calm down.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: He's the one who's then call me two days later to borrow $100. By
the way, you now you plan for "FOX AND FRIENDS?" You sleep in your clothes.
That's what I do.

JONES: That's right.

GUTFELD: But I already do that. All right, one question. What was your
favorite lunch in the high school cafeteria? We'll go this way. Kat.

TIMPF: I used to just always have french fries and squirt because I'm not
really wasn't very hungry at lunch because I took Adderall. I have ADHD.
I'm getting it prescribed.

JONES: No.

TIMPF: You know, obviously, I'm like the poster child for ADHD.

GUTFELD: What else do you have, Kat?

TIMPF: Big breakfast, anxiety and depression. Those are the big three.

GUTFELD: And then, what's the other one?

TIMPF: Big breakfast, then the Adderall, and then big dinner?

GUTFELD: What's the other one you have? You smell --

TIMPF: Anxiety, depression -- lexical gustatory synesthesia. I taste words.

GUTFELD: She tastes words. All right, cup.

TIMPF: That's -- it's not every single word. The word single, stick of
doublemint gum.

GUTFELD: All right, Jessica.

TARLOV: Taco day. Taco day was unbelievable, unrivaled, unlimited, every --

GUTFELD: No, it didn't have to --

JONES: No, I don't trust the meat.

GUTFELD: No?

TARLOV: It's fine. It's better if it's not real meat.

JONES: No. My favorite was breakfast pizza. And it's only once a month when
they did it.

GUTFELD: I used to make that in the morning by accident. I don't know why I
said that. Dagen?

MCDOWELL: Tots.

JONES: I heard about those.

GUTFELD: Oh. We didn't have that in grade school. We had leftover
doughnuts. So, the next day they bring a big garbage bag full of doughnuts.
And they were hard -- they were as hard as bagels. But they only cost like
a nickel, so I'd buy a bunch of cinnamon rolls and sit in a corner.

JONES: Wow, you're old. There were a nickel back then?

GUTFELD: Yes, there were. A lot of things were a nickel back then. Let me
tell you a story. All right, "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

JONES: OK, welcome back. It's time for "ONE MORE THING." Greg?

GUTFELD: All right, tonight, a brand new "GUTFELD!" and it is awesome. Of
course, we have -- Kat Timpf is on, but we also have Dagen. And we got Joey
Jones and we got Tom Shillue. It's what they call a barnburner. No offense
to arsonists. Let's do this.

Greg's pool toy news. You know the key to an excellent pool toy is getting
one that fits your body and getting into the pool toy before people can see
you struggle to get in. Check out this fellow here. He knows exactly how to
enjoy a pool toy. Not that he is -- not that he's relaxed, but he's also --
he's dog paddling. He's actually dog paddling. The only -- he gets a minus
one on this because there is no -- there's no cup holder on his flamingo. I
believe that is the flamingo.

But look at that. It's a little -- I'm sorry women here that you have to
see that open shot, but we will -- we will blur that in the repeat.
Disgusting. I think he's been neutered.

JONES: Dagen?

GUTFELD: What do I know?

MCDOWELL: So, what were you doing when you were eight months old? Not
training for Taekwondo. Here is super baby Joshua. He is now 2 years old.
His dad who is also a martial arts master, 40 years he's been in martial
arts, recognized his son's potential. This needs some sound effects, which
I will not provide.

JONES: But check out that form. Look at the form.

MCDOWELL: Yes, exactly. So, that's -- there you go, super baby, Taekwondo
masters.

JONES: That kid is going to cause a lot of problems. All right, Kat.

TIMPF: All right, well, look, this guy, he was being arrested, OK. He was
being arrested on -- in Oklahoma on suspicion of stealing copper wires,
some other stuff. But he managed to steal an ATV. And then while he was
handcuffed, he led them on a high-speed chase. So, it's I will say on anti-
theft, I'm anti evading the police. But being able to drive with that level
of skill while you're handcuffed, that is impressive.

GUTFELD: And you know that from -- you know that from experience, Kat.

TIMPF: No, I've actually never been arrested.

GUTFELD: But you have been handcuffed.

TIMPF: Well --

GUTFELD: You walked right into that.

JONES: Yes, you did. Jessica?

TIMPF: That's nothing to be ashamed of.

JONES: I've never seen Kat in bears.

TIMPF: No, I'm not. I think you should be. Another law is watching.

JONES: Jessica.

TARLOV: All right, so if you build it, they will come, and the fan did
come. Last night, in the Iowa cornfields, the Yankees and Chicago White Sox
played the much-hyped Field of Dreams game.

JONES: Look that walk-off.

TARLOV: Baseball isn't really my favorite, but I was totally captivated by
this one. Major League Baseball put on a real masterclass and nostalgia
with throwback jerseys and home runs soaring into the corn stocks. I was
watching with two Yankees fans who couldn't believe our ninth inning luck
with Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton home runs to take the lead.

But nostalgia one out, Chicago had the answer. We then watch Eight Men Out,
a late 80s movie depicting the throne World Series that landed all these
baseball greats and Kevin Costner's Field of Dreams, big baseball night,
huge ratings. It was awesome.

JONES: America's sport. All right, now it's really footballs. All right,
it's my turn. I want to wish a happy birthday to Gail, this badass granny
from Pennsylvania, who turned 100 last week. For her major milestone, she
was greeted with a surprise from her local Motorcycle Club. The Red Knights
Guild has been riding her whole life but had to get her ride -- her last
ride at 93. The Red Knights gave her -- Gail the ride of her lifetime. And here's 100 more years to you Gail.

I'll be doing double duty today to 7:00 p.m. show. Tomorrow, "FOX AND
FRIENDS" 6:00 a.m. And then, at night, "JUSTICE WITH JUDGE JEANINE." Thank
you so much, guys. You all have a great weekend. See you all later.

GUTFELD: That's a lot of work.
 

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