'The Five' name their Turkeys of the Year

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 28, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Dana
Perino, and Andrea Tantaros.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."


GUILFOYLE: All right. Happy Turkey Day, everybody. We are thankful
to have you with us tonight. And we're thankful for our troops and so many
other things on this unique American holiday.

And happy Hanukkah to all those who are celebrating. Let's kick
things off with some great interviews with college news Web site, campus

Now, one of the reporters wanted to find out how much college
students actually know about the history of Thanksgiving. It wasn't


QUESTION: The Pilgrims are group of people from --


QUESTION: Traveled to North America on a boat called the --


QUESTION: Pilgrims landed in North America on a spot known as --


QUESTION: And when the Mayflower finally reached land, the pilgrims
encountered thousands of --


QUESTION: The Native Americans were excellent --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Arrow shooters.


QUESTION: The Pilgrims were really good at --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Taking people's land.



GUILFOYLE: Ouch. Well, let's hope none of those are American
history majors. It might be a problem, bringing those grades home to the

OK. So, Eric, what do you think?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Well, Bob and I are looking at our football
picks. So, we're --

GUILFOYLE: Not playing close attention?

BOLLING: Not a surprise. I mean, young kids, it's amazing how
little they pay attention to history. History is really like one of those
subjects that a lot of kids really are into. My son loves it. He loves
it. A lot of people in the building are into history.

But for some reason, kids are just -- they just don't pay attention
to history. Did they know that in 1621, the first Thanksgiving?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think so. Why you look at me? It was
around that time. Was that the date?

BOLLING: That was the date, allegedly that was --

PERINO: It was in November.


GUILFOYLE: You know a lot of things.

PERINO: It wasn't in November. Abraham Lincoln dedicated the day.

BOLLING: Correct. Abraham Lincoln around 18 -- I don't know what
year it was. He decided it was going to be the fourth Thursday in
November. That's why it's so late this year.

PERINO: I love the story of the Mayflower. I always loved it. I
thought it was great. So, I'm not -- I guess I'm not going to come down
too hard on the kids. I hope they learn and love the Mayflower like I did.

GUILFOYLE: American history is important. The principles of this
country was founded on, our very unique history. So, shouldn't children
know it? Shouldn't adults still remember it?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You know, I'll tell you -- I have -- I was
teaching graduate class in politics at George Washington University and I
brought my two kids who were then in high school. I said I want everyone
here to name all the presidents. My two kids -- I want you to write them
down. My two kids had them exactly right. The other -- not one of the 25
in my graduate class could name more than 80 percent.

It was amazing to me. I mean, not only that, they couldn't write.
But outside of that.

But I think history is important, because you know, the old line, the
history repeats itself. It does. And I think there's -- particularly in
politics, you know? You study that. We talked last week about liberals,
are they dead? Are the conservatives dead?

You know, the cycles are the cycles are the cycles. The fact you
don't know this stuff I think is a sad commentary.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Even the parts that maybe, aren't so great
about our past and about our history. I mean, if you look at the history
of the treatment of American Indians, it's an embarrassing blemish on our
culture. It is.

And I do think sometimes we avoid it. We don't want to really get
into history.

But Bob's -- I agree with you. You're absolutely right. If we don't
learn it, we're going to repeat the mistakes.

But I know we were really in trouble, I was going to say screwed,
pretty much, yes, we can use that word, when we talked earlier this year on
"The Five" about how more young people knew about twerking than who Joe Biden
was. So, it's not even history. I don't even think that current affairs
now or current events are permeating the kids.

BECKEL: But then, again, who wants to spend time learning current
affairs? I know I don't. I have to do it all --

TANTAROS: You would rather focus on twerking, Bob, and you do in
your after-hours? But you at least know who Biden is.

GUILFOYLE: There should be more emphasis on it I think in schools,
told them will be better off to know the history of this great country.

All right. So, now, to Thanksgiving food guilt we're getting from
some environmental activists -- yes, them again -- and the government.
"Washington Post" writer Bob Palmer is urging us to take a moment to
consider the impact our meals today will have on the Earth and the climate.
Do you think about that?

Well, he writes, quote, "A 3 1/2-ounce serving of turkey is
responsible for approximately 2.4 pounds of carbon dioxide equivalents.
One of delicious mouth watering mashed potatoes will release approximately
1.5 pounds. And alcohol may be another significant contributor."

Well, he concludes, "If you're traveling fewer than 10 miles, there's
a good chance you'll emit more carbon monoxide eating than driving to and
from your meal."

I mean, that is completely ruining my Thanksgiving.

Eric, what do you think?

BOLLING: So, I think you should drive around the block a few times,
light up the barbecue, put a whole bunch of lighter fluid on it. Blow it
up, put the turkey on that, deep fry it. Then make some mashed potatoes.

Come on. Really? Really? Is there any significance to this
whatsoever? Do we know that any sort of carbon -- manmade carbon emissions
are responsible for anything --

GUILFOYLE: I mean, turkeys aren't even safe now. They're going to
take Thanksgiving away. The poor turkeys, that's their big dig every year.

BOLLING: By that calculation, I'm going to probably contribute 45
pounds of carbon monoxide to the environment when I eat after the show.
But I --

GUILFOYLE: Thank God you don't drink. It would be worse.

BECKEL: There's nothing. You know, I'm very strong on this. But
there's nothing as far as I can tell that's made or grown on a farm that
doesn't in some way or another contribute to have carbon monoxide in the

PERINO: Dioxide.

BECKEL: Or dioxide.

GUILFOYLE: Dana, don't they have anything better to do besides
ruining Thanksgiving now?

PERINO: There's nothing more tiresome than an environmentalist freak
at your Thanksgiving dinner, really. People eat everyday. That's what we
do. But it takes energy in order to make food. We should want more people
to have food.

But one of the big problems that we have in America is hunger.
Around the world, there's hunger. So, there's a lot to be said about just
letting people actually eat first and then we can help solve environmental
problems going forward.

The last bit of the article, it says that "I have no desire to turn
back the clock to 17th century life which strikes me as having been cold,
boring, and rather sickly." Basically, like, so then why did you write the
article in the first place?

GUILFOYLE: Right. Well, that's the problem.

PERINO: So we could talk about it on "The Five"?

GUILFOYLE: So we could talk about it on "The Five", and talking about
how angry are them and we can enjoy so much our delicious Thanksgiving
meal. You should see all of this, this feast in front of us.

Now, Andrea, what do they want us to do? Not drive through
McDonald's. Don't eat Thanksgiving. Walk through it, something?

TANTAROS: They want us not to eat.

BECKEL: Hold that. OK, there's 15 kinds of carbon, what is it?


TANTAROS: You've had your eye on that leg.

BECKEL: It's mine. Nobody will touch it now --

PERINO: That's your leg share.


TANTAROS: Here's what I don't understand.

BECKEL: Dana, let me borrow your napkin, will you?

TANTAROS: The last 364 days of this year, it's the same
environmentalists that are rousing about Thanksgiving Day dinner, that have
been making the argument that cow flatulence --

GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh.

TANTAROS: -- is a big problem. So, first, the turkeys are the
problem. Now, it's --

BECKEL: Why did you come up with that?

TANTAROS: I didn't come up with this, Bob. They believe that cow
flatulence is blowing a hole in the ozone.


BOLLING: That is the number one emitter.

BECKEL: They're thinking about flatulence at their house. Forget
about cow flatulence.

TANTAROS: And let me finish, and people who eat too much, they argue
that fat people, supposedly, contribute more to environmental destruction,
because the more food they consume, that means more trucks on the road.

So, I guess under their opinion, we should all be anorexic. Is that
it? We should not eat?

GUILFOYLE: Stay home, eat granola bars.

PERINO: I don't want to go that far but --

BECKEL: That means I contribute as much all of you combine. So,
there you go.

GUILFOYLE: Well, here's the thing thousand. The government pushing
this holiday recipe makeover so you're not supposed to eat anything canned.
You're not supposed to have salty. So, just don't eat anything awesome
that tastes good. By the way, hello, how about the cans -- beets,
cranberry sauce. All that stuff is amazing.

BECKEL: You know, there's other thing. But remember we did that
here about organic food which I think is the most ridiculous concept in the


BECKEL: Free range turkeys, right? Think about them, they'd be
roaming all over the streets. They're not like chickens. Chickens, you
can keep track of. Turkeys are big animals, or a big bird.

PERINO: Did you stay up at night thinking about this?

BECKEL: No, all I was thinking about is this guy, a man outside, his
son shot his first turkey, but then another guy did it by bow. Do you hard
it is to hit a wild turkey with a bow and arrow? I would not know, but
it's hard.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, he's like, is it a bird, is it an animal? What is

All right. Andrea, let's talk about Thanksgiving, everybody. I want
to hear about what your families are doing. And, Andrea, I know it's a
special time for you to be with your mother and your family.

TANTAROS: Yes, we're all getting together at my mom's house. And
then, we're going to have a couple of extra friends, my younger brother's
teacher Greg is going to come over. And, you know --

BECKEL: Who else? Who else other friends you're bringing?

TANTAROS: Other friends. I don't know, my brother, my sister, my
nieces, my nephews.

BECKEL: Your boyfriend.

TANTAROS: My boyfriend, all going to be around the table.

But we found to include more people, it's more fun through the years.

My dad passed away, my brother passed away. We have more people
around. It helps.

GUILFOYLE: Ms. Perino?

PERINO: Well, like a lot of Americans I don't live near my family in
order to be able to travel there. So, we have established some of our own
traditions. So, we're kind of vagabonds. We're always the orphans at the
dinner table.

But I was reflecting about this past year. It's been a really good
one. I'm very thankful for our show, and certainly our health, and ability
to have really good conversations and debates and still walk away friends
and be able to come back and sit around this table everyday. I'm really
thankful for it.

BECKEL: This is our third Thanksgiving show, isn't it?


GUILFOYLE: And, Mr. Bolling?

BOLLING: Well, we traditionally have Thanksgiving at our house,
where Adrienne, my wife Adrienne cooks the turkey upside down, which I
talked about --


GUILFOYLE: It tastes better that way. I did that one time.

BOLLING: It was an accident the first year. It really works.

But this year, we go to a restaurant. Believe it or not, we have a
big group of family. We're going to try the restaurant route, which is the
first time I've ever done --

PERINO: And trying to reduce your carbon footprint.

BOLLING: Not at all.

GUILFOYLE: They're going to walk to the restaurant.

BOLLING: We're all going to drive separately, in separate cars.

GUILFOYLE: And, Bobby, what are you going to do?

BECKEL: I'm actually going to -- you talk about risky maneuver --
I'm going to my ex-wife's house. My kids are going to be there. We're
going to have a family dinner.

Actually, I've done it two years in a row. They've been very
gracious, my ex-wife and her husband. And it works out fine.

My mother-in-law is going to be there. And she's a nice lady.

PERINO: She loves me.

BECKEL: She loves you very much. She loves "The Five".

And we'll eat, and we're going to gather around, believe it or not,
they've got a tradition. They're going to watch "The Five".

GUILFOYLE: Very nice. You're going to bring delicious food. I like
the nice mother-in-law plug.

It's interesting bob, we both have a modern family situation. I will
again spend Thanksgiving with my, I guess, former in-laws. My son's
grandparent, and my ex-husband and his girlfriend. It will be nice.

BECKEL: Which one?

GUILFOYLE: There's only two, America.

All right. Well, it's going to be nice and we know you're having a
nice Thanksgiving as well. I appreciate you spending it with us too.

But when we come back, it's been an annual tradition on "The Five".
Our turkeys of the year, who are they? Who makes the list this time? Our
picks coming your way.


PERINO: OK. Time now for "The Five"'s third annual turkey of the year
award, soon to be a tradition everyone looks forward to.

Plenty to choose from in 2013. So, Kimberly who did you pick?

GUILFOYLE: Well, there was a lot to choose from this year, so there
was a selection committee. We met extensively for the past like two weeks
and we came up with Ford, Rob Ford. I mean, come on, this is a guy that
we've been talking about on "The Five" for how many days? He seems to be
quite entertained by his life. I know Bob he's got a substance abuse
issue, not to minimize that.

But he's certainly has been carrying on quite a bit and he says that
he's enjoying himself and having a great time. So, hopefully, during this
holiday season he gets help.

PERINO: And he is a big turkey.

BECKEL: If he's continuing substance abuse, he won't be eating.

PERINO: Oh, really?

BECKEL: Yes, because if he's doing blow, he won't be eating.

GUILFOYLE: Some said how much crack or cocaine user can he be? I'm
just telling you what's out there.

TANTAROS: You'd think he would be a lot skinnier.

BECKEL: Well, or he'd be a lot fatter, I mean, is one way to look at
it, right?

PERINO: That is interesting conundrum.

BOLLING: We're scratching our heads.

PERINO: OK, Eric, you're next.

BOLLING: By the way, I love that guy. I just love his honesty, his
straightforwardness. I think they'll probably get over his --

PERINO: His illegal activity?

GUILFOYLE: Marion Berry was reelected, come on.

BOLLING: President Barack Obama. I mean, come on, really?

All right. Let's go on. My turkey of the year, Kathleen Sebelius.
She's going to oversee, could be, the biggest fail in the history of
American politics, the ObamaCare Web site. That's all hers -- her name,
her fingerprints, all over.

It's probably going to end up being a multibillion, we talked about
it before, multibillion dollar beta test of the American people. Do we
have sound to that?


JON STEWART, COMEDIAN: I'm going to try and download every movie
ever made. And you are going to try and sign up for ObamaCare, and we'll
see which happens first.

How many have signed up thus far?

KATHLEEN SEBELIUS, HHS SECRETARY: Fully enrolled, I can't tell you.


BOLLING: Oh, boy.

PERINO: You know what, it was funny in the first week. If she was
going to go back on Jon Stewart show tomorrow, the day after Thanksgiving,
the same exact thing would probably happen. They're running out of time.

Andrea, you are next. You've got a good one.

TANTAROS: Yes. I was going to do IRS. Then I got nervous that I'd
be audited. It's like a turkey --

GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh.

TANTAROS: So, let's move on from them. But at least I got my point

OK. Continuing with Kimberly's mayoral theme -- remember Mayor Bob
Filner, the San Diego mayor who assaulted, what was it, like 12 women
total? Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.

PERINO: Democrat.

TANTAROS: Yes, it was a Democrat. No women in California wanted to
weigh in on that war on women. He was Mr. -- what was it he said to women
-- what kind of underpants are you wearing in the office and other stuff?

Anyway, he's a big turkey. But at least he's not the mayor anymore.

BECKEL: Yes, I'll bet there's no Republican women ever -- Republican
ever said that to women. But it's (INAUDIBLE)

TANTAROS: We're not the ones that accused Democrat of having a war
on women though.

BECKEL: War on women? What war on women?

GUILFOYLE: I said don't discuss politics at Thanksgiving.

PERINO: Yes, Thanksgiving, right, they'll talk politics. I have a
group of people that as my turkey of the year. It is the Twitter meanies -
- people out there who go on social media and exist simply to make fun of
anybody else.

From my personal experience, they always make fun of Bob. Not
always. So, there are some nice people. You get a lot of Twitter abuse
from --

BECKEL: That's fine. I'm used to it.

PERINO: Eric, remember the one you had, was the meanest thing I've
ever read. I got attacked this year by a group that I will not name
because I don't need the hassle again.

BECKEL: The atheists.


TANTAROS: With meanies.

BOLLING: That's a good one.


BOLLING: The thing about them, they never use their name. They
never show who they are.

PERINO: Anonymous people.

GUILFOYLE: They're cowards.

BOLLING: They are.

PERINO: I'm wondering if there's a thing such as Twitter karma,
right? So, it will come back to get them and they put that negativity out
in the universe.

BECKEL: You know what I do, when I do when I get one that really
bothers. I get back with them saying what I used to say in email, was it
your mother who married her brother, or your father that married his
sister? Yes.

PERINO: That fits in 140 characters.

GUILFOYLE: And then they write Bob back.

TANTAROS: But why do you even respond, Bob? They want you to see
the nasty four letter word. Just hit delete or block.


PERINO: That's right. So, here's my advice. Between Thanksgiving
and Christmas, do yourself a favor. Prove your karma and send everybody a
nice tweet. That would be really nice.

Bob, you haven't done your turkey yet.

BECKEL: I have two. I really feel strongly about this. Turkey is a
word, you know, that maybe pejorative to a lot of people, but my man, my
man, Teddy Cruz, has been a life blood to me this year. I've had to sit
here with ObamaCare and the rest of it.

But, Teddy, thank you so much, man. Even though you are a turkey,
you've given me a whole lot.

Ad Rand Paul, Rand -- let me just say one thing, you're a smart guy,
and you're a libertarian and all that, but you've got to learn not to
borrow people's words. You've got pretty good words yourself.

I do give credit to Rand Paul for one thing. He went to Howard
University, an all black university. And nobody -- very few Republicans
ever done it. I give him credit for that.

PERINO: Yes, he wasn't the turkey that day.

BOLLING: That was the biggest turkey of the year?

GUILFOYLE: That was pretty complimentary actually.


GUILFOYLE: That was nice of you Bob --

BOLLING: Those are two great candidates. They're going to give you,
guys, a run for your money.

BECKEL: I told you I endorsed Teddy for president.

PERINO: Did you have anyone on the runner up list?

BECKEL: On the runner up list?

PERINO: Anybody, ever runner up turkey?

BECKEL: Well, one personal associated with "The Five", but I won't say
who it was.

PERINO: Wow. Like at this table?

BECKEL: No, God no.

PERINO: All right.

TANTAROS: What about Kim Kardashian?

BECKEL: Kim Kardashian, she's a waste of time. She's not a turkey,
she's a dog.

BOLLING: Kanye East and that dumb south baby of theirs, whatever it
is. I mean, come on. I'm not even sure it's their baby anyway.

GUILFOYLE: Bob is kidding.

PERINO: Just like Thanksgiving dinner with your family.

GUILFOYLE: Right, with Uncle Bob, crazy Uncle Bob.

PERINO: This is the next topic we're going to bring up which could
be a heated one around Thanksgiving people. It's all around the country.
Is it OK to spy a little on your spouse? What about your kids?

To snoop or not to snoop? That's the question we're going to ask
when "The Five" Thanksgiving special returns.



BOLLING: Well, in the year of snooping, this year's snooping
scandals from the NSA to DOJ, we want to ask if you think snooping is OK in
some circumstances.

Three scenarios: first one, snooping on your kid. Second one,
fishing around for info of your exes online, and going through your
partner's e-mails and phone records.

First up, new study reveals 60 percent of parents confess to going
through their kids emails, texts and Facebook messages.

Let me start with this -- Kimberly, you have a 6 -- Ronan is 6,

GUILFOYLE: He just turned seven. He doesn't have passwords yet.

BOLLING: When he's going to start having social media, are you going
to snoop on him?

GUILFOYLE: I hope so. I think I'd be really good at it. I would
feel very responsible if something bad were to happen and if there's like
predator online and I was too much the hands off mom. I'm going to see how
things go with him.

BECKEL: What if some chick was getting in touch with him on a
regular basis?

GUILFOYLE: That I approve? Yes, he's seven. I mean, I don't know.

BOLLING: Are younger girls more vulnerable than younger boys? What
about you --

BECKEL: I have two kids. And the only thing I could say is thank
God they don't snoop my e-mails and my stuff because that would be much

GUILFOYLE: That would you scar them for life.

BECKEL: I think it's a horrible thing and I think all this stuff is
making all vulnerable.

GUILFOYLE: What do you talk about? You put that following device in
your kid's car.

BECKEL: Yes, that's because I wanted to know where they were. They
weren't drinking that was some big deal.

GUILFOYLE: That's snooping, too.

BECKEL: Well, you could call it snooping. It was nothing like it at
all their emails.


BOLLING: No, nothing like it at all.

GUILFOYLE: Bob logic.

BOLLING: Personally, you guys asked, I do not -- if I open up the
computer and my son's Facebook is in my face, I'll look at it and find out
what's going on. Probably something I should do but I don't do that.

Dana, your thoughts on this?

PERINO: Well, thinking about this -- I think that kids need to make
mistakes. You can't protect them from everything. That's part of growing

You can make colossal mistakes online that can follow you forever.
So, I understand the parent's protective instinct to want to stop behavior
or get in front of something if they can or to prevent a crime.

But I also think that until your kid gives you a reason to spy on
them, that maybe they should be given a little privacy.

GUILFOYLE: So, parental probable cause. Like something is going on.

PERINO: Fourth Amendment.

GUILFOYLE: No unreasonable circumstances.

BOLLING: Ands, what about this one? Is there -- did you -- first of
all, how do you feel about snooping on your kids? How about parents
snooping on their kids? Both directions.

TANTAROS: I don't have children. So, I haven't had to deal with
that problem yet.

Snooping on the exes, yes, I don't do that. Once I'm done, I'm done.
Let's see what else. I think that if you have a suspicion that something
is wrong, it probably is wrong and let your gut tell you. But I think you
also better be careful when you go digging because you just might find

BOLLING: So, wait, so you don't go digging?


You know, I went digging in my 20s. I feel like that's when girls
were really big diggers. Like we would dig and we would Google. You get
older and just sort of let it go.

PERINO: Good thing that Google didn't exist when I was --

BOLLING: We're staying with exes. So, what about Googling or
snooping on exes?

PERINO: Well, I don't have the time. And also, I've been married in
17 years. I don't have any exes. I don't know how --


BECKEL: I've got too many of them to snoop on. So, they snoop on
me, most of them, which is a real problem --

TANTAROS: You put everything out there on the show everyday.


BECKEL: One thing that I really do think is important, kids would
not tell you if they're being bullied online. I think every parent ought
to say to their kids, I won't look in your stuff, but please, if you are
getting bullied, or if you're being threatened, please let me say that.

GUILFOYLE: Bob is right and you also look for behavioral changes
with your child, like sleep pattern issues, are they moody? They seemed
depressed. How are they doing in school activities? Like for example,
your boy, Eric, he comes home at night and he's a straight A student. So,
so far, the signs are good, you know, but --

BOLLING: Yes. I notice how you guys are getting away from the exes.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. OK, the exes, I mean, I can't even get on my own
Facebook. I wish I could like snoop, I can't -- I don't have time for
that. Too many. I don't like being snooped on.

BECKEL: Can I ask you a question -- did you go looking for your
presents at Christmas?


BECKEL: Did everybody?

PERINO: I don't now, but I did, yes.

GUILFOYLE: You just have to make a tiny slice in the wrapping paper.
You can usually figure it out from there.

BOLLING: OK. Now, the final layer of this, which I think a lot of
people are going to be interested. Your current partner's phone, off
limits Kimberly or on limits? I want to take it around --

GUILFOYLE: Oh my gosh.

BOLLING: Want to take it first?

GUILFOYLE: I want no part of his phone.

TANTAROS: Well, I really didn't snoop, but I saw a name and number
come up. I thought it was something, and it wasn't. I got myself all
worked up for nothing. That taught me an important lesson. I wasn't
digging through it.

It just -- but I -- you know, girls' brains go crazy. You're like oh
God, what does that mean? It was nothing.

PERINO: We have each other's passwords if I need them, but mostly
what I need from Peter's phone --

BECKEL: He gives you his password.

PERINO: Yes, I have his password, he has my password.


PERINO: In fact, he set up my password. I don't know if I would
know how to do it.

But I don't have any reason to go on. I do know of instances where
people have found something they didn't want to find either by accident or
because they went snooping. Then you have to ask yourself, what's worse,
the truth or the lie? It both hurts a lot.

BOLLING: Interesting. It is, right.

PERINO: Which would you rather have?

BOLLING: Your thoughts on --


BOLLING: Can I give you a story? We stole Bob's phone once.

GUILFOYLE: I broke in with his birthday code.

BOLLING: We happened to know what his code was, I said, Kimberly,
try this one.

PERINO: You guessed what the code was.

GUILFOYLE: I'm scarred for life by the images and contents.

PERINO: I've never seen Bob move like that.

GUILFOYLE: He grabbed mea and I had the rose dress on. You crushed
the roses.

BECKEL: If I tried to snoop on my friend's phone, it would -- I need
an NSA computer to get through.

I don't much care. They try to snoop on mine all the time. Whenever
it rings, they look --


BECKEL: You know what you never do? Never leave your text message
page open. That's a big mistake.

GUILFOYLE: Or put iMessage on.

Anyway, but let me tell you something -- I particularly enjoy the
role-playing of I'm Ms. Prosecutor and you're my bad guy, sit in this
chair. And you interrogate them.

That's better than snooping on the phone. It's more fun.

BOLLING: Oh, is it?


BOLLING: You think so.

GUILFOYLE: You get everything you actually want or need. You can
read them, very easy.

BOLLING: All right. We're going to leave it there.

Next up, "The Five" Thanksgiving menu pig skin. We'll place our bets
on the big games tonight.

And speaking of games, Bob has been prepping for the Winter Olympics,
and you're going to see the champ in action getting ready for them.

BECKEL: There you go.

GUILFOYLE: Look at Bob. Is he doing yoga?


TANTAROS: I feel like I work for FOX Sports.

Thanksgiving is time for food, family, and football. The holiday
would not feel right without some touchdowns served with turkey. No
shortage of games this year to watch.

Tonight, the Steelers go up against the Ravens. And on the college
side, Texas versus Texas Tech.

So, let's make some predictions here.

Eric, would you like to start?

BOLLING: So, I'll start with NFL stuff. I think the Ravens are a
much better team. At home, they're probably unbelievable. I see the line
about three or so.

PERINO: What does that mean?


GUILFOYLE: That's what I pick.

BOLLING: That means play the wood, give three points and take the

GUILFOYLE: Play the wood.

BECKEL: If the Ravens don't win by more than five points. They

BOLLING: So, you'd lose your bet.

BECKEL: Right.

BOLLING: We're going to do the college thing later. You want to do
around on this, first?

TANTAROS: Yes, let's do a round.

Dana, Ravens or Steelers?

PERINO: Oh, America is waiting for my prediction.

TANTAROS: You couldn't sleep all week.

BECKEL: America is watching right now.

PERINO: I'm going to have to go with the Steelers. Just to be

TANTAROS: The underdog.

PERINO: Also because Tony Fratto is from there. He's my friend.


TANTAROS: Bob, Baltimore or Western PA?

BECKEL: It's going to be the Ravens by a lunch.



Kimberly, what do you think?

GUILFOYLE: Well, I went with the winning assessment. I'd be a
little bit more conservative. I think Ravens and by a field goal. So,
three points -- my friend Dana --



BOLLING: You lose big.

GUILFOYLE: I don't lose.

PERINO: I can't believe you know everything about gambling. I'm

TANTAROS: Bob is the expert at the table a table. We're going to
get to online gambling in a minute.

I'm going to put my bet behind the Ravens. Last year Super Bowl
champs and they're really darn good.

PERINO: When the Steelers win, I just want everyone next week to be
giving me appropriate credit and props.

TANTAROS: All right. So, this big win and I love college more than
I love pro.

Texas at Texas Tech, the famous Johnny Manziel, of course, is going
to be on the field playing for Texas. I'm going to say Texas all the way.


BOLLING: I'm going to say hold off on that, because go with --
right, Texas and Texas Tech -- go with the Alabama-Auburn game. That's not
the full screen up there. This is the game of the year. It's number one
Alabama, a team we followed for a long time. One of the best college
football teams in history taking on Auburn who has an ax to grind at
Auburn, Alabama.

BECKEL: I bet you Auburn beats Alabama.

BOLLING: You have a bet, my man.


BOLLING: It's 10 1/2 points is the line.

BECKEL: I know. You've got to give me the line. But I take Auburn.

I think Alabama -- if they win again, they ought to make them a pro

BOLLING: You know what the line of the Alabama game was last week.
Alabama by 50.

BECKEL: Fifty, yes.

TANTAROS: Bob, Auburn or Alabama? Roll tide or not?

BECKEL: No, no, no. I'm for Auburn. On the Texas-Texas Tech game,
I'm going with Texas Tech. I think it's going to be an upset here.



GUILFOYLE: Really? I'm going with Manziel. We're for him.

PERINO: But he's not on that team.

TANTAROS: I screwed it up.


TANTAROS: I'm going to get killed on Twitter. Be nice to me.

PERINO: Don't be a Twitter meany.

TANTAROS: Texas, Kimberly, I'm taking Texas.

PERINO: OK, I believe that somebody -- a team from Texas is going to

TANTAROS: You're really going out on the ledge.

PERINO: Here's the thing. I'm going with Auburn, on behalf of Susan
Whitson and Robert Gibbs, the two people I know who went there.

TANTAROS: All right. I'm going to Alabama.

PERINO: That's how I make my choices because I think Nick Saban is

BECKEL: Who you're going to take Texas Tech and Texas?


BECKEL: OK, got it.

TANTAROS: OK. What about online gambling? On November 26th, the
state of New Jersey will begin online gambling, like two other states,
including Nevada and Delaware.

So, we're going to go to our resident gambling expert, Mr. Robert

Robert, online gambling just over the river.

BECKEL: I think it's fine. I think -- listen, people talk about
people who get hurt by most by gambling, or people who are poor. And that
is true, but that's mostly because of lotto and games Keno and games they
can play locally. Online gambling is a much bigger deal. I do online
gambling sort of legally by going to the Caymans and England where you can
bet there.

I'm all for it. I hope New York will allow us to hook up to New
Jersey and gamble that way. I think it's a good idea.

TANTAROS: You said nasty I think things about New Jersey. It's
about time you said something nice.

BECKEL: Well, I mean, I figure I could probably beat their gambling
people, so I'd be fine.

TANTAROS: Eric, what do you think?

BOLLING: Very much for this, in favor of this for a very, very long
time. You know who's not in favor of this, are the Las Vegas casinos.

BECKEL: Of course.

BOLLING: Because right now, it's technically illegal unless you do
what Bob does to kind of go around the rule, which you're not doing
anything illegal, they are. So, that's fine. Vegas casinos are saying,
look, all that money that you're not gambling that you're going to Vegas,
you're going to Atlantic City --

BECKEL: Think about Atlantic City casinos, they're really freaked
out by it.

BOLLING: But they're going to have to embrace it. The brick and
mortar casinos are going to have to embrace, and offer deals going back and

There's opportunity for them both. But they're also going uh-oh.


BECKEL: You're going to their big, with rooms like (INAUDIBLE) every
sporting event you can imagine and you can go in there and bet. So, you
ought to be able to do that.

TANTAROS: I think it's more fun to leave your couch, and put your
pants on and go out and actually gamble with other people.

BECKEL: No, I used to be when I was --

GUILFOYLE: Of course.

TANTAROS: Kimberly and Dana, online gambling -- something tells me
you don't spend your Friday nights doing it. But any thoughts?

GUILFOYLE: No, I have to save all my money for shoes.

PERINO: The only gambling I do is having red wine and going online
shopping. That's gambling. You never know what's going to come to your


GUILFOYLE: That would be good.

PERINO: I got 28 tubes of toothpaste one day, but I was looking for
the 2.8 ounce because that --

BECKEL: Aahh, excuse me.

TANTAROS: All right. Up next --

PERINO: Bob, shut up, Bob!

TANTAROS: In for a Thanksgiving treat, Olympian wannabe, Bob Beckel,
does (INAUDIBLE) right here in New York City Times Square. And trust me,
you're not going to want to miss this ending. The big suspender goes for
the gold when "The Five" returns.



(GRAPHIC: Bob Beckel on luge.)

BECKEL: Looks like I'm laid out for my casket.

It's November 28. You know what that means: The 2014 Olympics in --
yes, is just 71 days away. I didn't qualify to take part in the games'
starting rounds, but I did qualify for the games at the Rose (ph) -- OK --
event in New York Times Square. And I had a good time.


BECKEL: Folks, this is Bob Beckel reporting for "The Five." We're
here reporting on the road to Sochi. Now you might want to wonder what
Sochi is. It is Japanese seafood.



BECKEL: But it is also -- Sochi is in Russia where they're going to
hold this.

You were the 1998 gold medal winner. Is that right?


BECKEL: You're going to Sochi, right?


BECKEL: Have you ever been to Sochi?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I have never been to Russia.

BECKEL: You haven't?


BECKEL: Really? It's a dump. But no. It's not. St. Petersburg is

How do you all jump into those things at the same time?

JAZMINE FENLATOR, USA BOBSLEDDER: It's -- it's finesse, a lot of
speed, and be fearless.

BECKEL: Let me ask you this question. How fast do those things go?

FENLATOR: I've hit up to 90 miles per hour.



BECKEL: Are you on this team?

LOUIE VITO, OLYMPIC SNOWBOARDER: I'm trying. We have a -- I was on
2010. I went to the 2010 Olympics. I'm trying for this one. But we
haven't started our qualifying process.

BECKEL: Were you on "Dancing with the Stars"?

VITO: I was.

BECKEL: Really?

VITO: Yes.

BECKEL: Did you win?

VITO: No. They were haters on me over there.

BECKEL: Man, they're all rigged.

VITO: Those judges...

BECKEL: Do you watch "The Five"?

VITO: I've seen "The Five."

BECKEL: You have?

VITO: Yes.

BECKEL: Oh, well, thank you, man.

I feel like I'm in a hospital ward. And I thought it was called
hurling, but it's curling right?

BILL STOPERA, CURLING: Curling. Another Scottish sport.

BECKEL: Back to my drinking days.

It's going to be you versus me?


BECKEL: OK, good. All right. Fine. I'll bet you a buck.

Are you kidding me?

Watch my form. Watch everything I do and you'll be fine.

I win.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He fell on ice!

BECKEL: You take that (EXPLETIVE DELETED), I'm going to break your

It was less dangerous when I took drugs. Oh, yes. Oh, sure. Good
idea. Get out of the way. You're going to get killed.

Nothing but the best. Are you kidding me?


BECKEL: I'll tell you, man, I was sore for days after that. Winter
Olympic, what's your favorite, favorite winter Olympic event Eric?

BOLLING: I guess I'm a skier and I know how awesome you have to be to
ski that super G. I just love that super downhill. All the downhill
events are amazing. The speeds. Like, these incredible speeds.


PERINO: Ski jump and the figure skating.

BECKEL: Really?


BECKEL: I like the figure skating outfits.

What about you?

TANTAROS: I like the couples ice skating.

GUILFOYLE: How cute are you?

TANTAROS: I like the summer Olympics better myself.


BECKEL: Is that when they do gymnastics, in the summer?



BECKEL: OK. What's your favorite?

GUILFOYLE: I like the ice skating, and then I like the skiing, too.

BECKEL: Really?

GUILFOYLE: I like when people go really fast.

TANTAROS: I like hockey, as well.

BECKEL: You do? I like the one -- I like the one where they ski with
the gun strapped to their back. They've got to ski; they've got to stop;
they've got to shoot; they've got to get up; they've got to ski. I mean,
who ever thought of that? Come on. Give me a break, will you?

"One More Thing"!

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh. My nerves are already shot today.

BECKEL: Got you.


GUILFOYLE: It's time now for Thanksgiving, "One More Thing." There's
always one of those at the dinner table at Thanksgiving. Ours is Bob
Beckel. And we'll auction him off later.

But I want to give a special thank you and many blessings to the
troops, the men and women faithfully serving overseas that we can enjoy our
freedom, our families, our friends, and great food on this great American
tradition. So take a listen to some troops wishing blessings back to their


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi. My name is EW4 Molina (ph). I'm here at
Camp Asalay (ph) in Doha, Qatar. I want to give out a shout out to my
husband, Raul Molina (ph), in Enterprise, Alabama. I'll see you at home
soon. I love you. Happy Thanksgiving.

LT. COL. MIKE MCGREGOR (ph), U.S. ARMY: Hi, I'm Lieutenant Colonel
Mike McGregor (ph) with the 4th Infantry Division headquarters here in
Kandahar, Afghanistan. I just want to send a shout-out to my two sons,
Caleb (ph) and Spencer (ph). Happy Thanksgiving, buddies. I miss you.
Love you.


GUILFOYLE: That's nice. Heartfelt thanks and gratitude to troops
serving faithfully oversea that we could be here with our families.

All right. Andrea.

TANTAROS: I didn't know what I was going to do. And then the first
thing I thought was I can't believe it's Thanksgiving already. So I pulled
a picture of last year's Thanksgiving, all of us around the table. Yes.
There's my mom's dining room table. And so we're going to be eating there
again this year.

But you know, we spend so much time at Thanksgiving complaining.
Right? Oh, Uncle Bob is coming over or I wish this was happening or we
don't have pumpkin pie or whatever the situation may be.

Do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. This Thanksgiving, look around
the table and just tell everyone how much you love them. Give them a big
hug, be thankful. Because you never know when one year there's just going
to be an empty chair across from you. So just focus on that, guys.
Because a lot can happen in a year. So I'm very grateful.

GUILFOYLE: Very good advice.


PERINO; I have a good news story. So remember, I went to Africa and
I was -- visited the mercy ships. And one of the kids that we met here on
the assessment day, his name was Emanuel. And he's pictured here with his
mom and dad. And he came. He was one of the first in line. His dad there
works at the port. And he saw this ship, the mercy ship. He said what is
that? Because his little boy has been sick his whole life. Always
diagnosed as like malaria. Nobody could ever figure it out.

The doctors of the mercy ship, Dr. Mark Shrine (ph) being one of them,
took one look at him, opened his mouth. They said he can't breathe is he
has a tumor. It's not malaria. He was one of the first to get surgery.
Dr. Mark Shrine (ph) did the surgery.

And here's Dr. Michelle White, who is throwing him up in the air
afterwards. He is healthy, happy. And the people of the mercy ship
deserve so much of our thanks.

GUILFOYLE: Benign tumor, so prognosis excellent?

BOLLING: Those stories are just amazing.

One after another.

GUILFOYLE: That was a good one.

BOLLING: You know, Thanksgiving, you have to be thankful. I
personally am thankful for my family, great wife, honor roll kid, dog
Freedom recovery. Very thankful for everyone here at the table, as well.

But two things you can do. We do this every year. Maybe not this
year, because we're going to be in a restaurant, but every year we make
extra food and bring it to a police station. These people have to work on

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's a good idea.

BOLLING: That's a nice thing to bring to them. But also volunteer.
Soup kitchens and food pantries need your help, and it's a nice way to give
back a little bit.


BECKEL: What were you just trying to say to me?

GUILFOYLE: Your turn.

BECKEL: My turn. OK.

Well, first of all I want to say thanks -- how thankful I am for my
son and my daughter, Alex and MacKenzie.

But also to say, I wanted to let you know the ten -- the five biggest
party cities in America to go to for the holidays, OK? They are, in order,
New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Washington D.C., and Atlanta. And
Kimberly's house.

GUILFOYLE: OK. That's all. We want to wish you a very happy
Thanksgiving and a happy Hanukkah, too. We'll see you right back here

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