Teacher: Sanders' mittens sign of white privledge
Gutfeld examines what others claim to be racist, from Bernie Sanders’ mittens to acronyms and Tom Brady getting a pass for supporting President Trump
This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," February 6, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: The President has been clear that our risk is not having a package that's too big. It's having a package that's too small.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, that's at least one thing we can agree on.
What do you expect? All right. Good news, everyone. After four years of chaos and incompetence, the adults are back and in charge.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
QUESTION: FEMA has requested active duty troops be used at vaccination centers when they get stood up across the country. Does the White House support that request?
PSAKI: I did ask our team about this, you or someone else may have asked about this the other day, and I think I have something on it here. One moment. Thanks for your patience.
Lots to say about COVID, no doubt about it. So let's see -- let me -- let me talk to our team about it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I guess, she is reading from the Biden playbook. And remember, she gets the questions in advance. I mean, you get the answer key and you still got no answers. That's like seeing an early airing of "Jeopardy" then watching the repeat with your spouse without telling her and she still beats you. But maybe Jen's tired of circling back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PSAKI: Happy to circle back with our team on that specific report.
I will have to circle back on that one.
I have to circle back with you on it. It is a good question.
We'll circle back with you.
We will circle back with you on this today.
We will circle back.
We will certainly circle back.
We'll circle back.
Circle back.
I'll circle back.
I hate to disappoint you, but I will have to circle back with you on that as well.
I often note I'm going to circle back, I hate to disappoint conservative Twitter, but I'm going to circle back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: You circle back that much, you're going to get dizzy and throw up. I saw that once with a lizard, but it turned out it was Mark Zuckerberg.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARK ZUCKERBERG, CEO, FACEBOOK: I am not a lizard. But you know keep the high quality comments coming in.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Wow, Captain Sensitive. But it's true. The Dems seem to be chasing their tail, something they learned from Bill Clinton. Instead of COVID relief, they chase Impeachment 2: the sequel. Rather than figure out solutions for the future, they plan paybacks for the past. And anything good that came from Trump must either be eliminated or mocked.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
QUESTION: ... ask whether the President has made a decision on keeping or keeping the scope of Space Force?
PSAKI: Wow. Space Force. It's the plane of today.
QUESTION: No, it is an entire branch.
PSAKI: It is an interesting question. I am happy to check with our Space Force point of contact. I'm not sure who that is. I will find out and see if we have any update on that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Hilarious answer, Jen. China found it especially a hoot as they plan to eat our lunch in space. Even the dumbest Lib understands that he who controls space controls Earth. Anyone who saw "The Jetsons" knows this. But maybe they have other things on their minds, correct?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
QUESTION: President Clinton and President Obama made Canada the destination of the first route. Can we expect the same thing from --
PSAKI: That was a very creative way of asking the first foreign trip question. I don't have anything to preview for you in terms of which -- where the President will travel in his first foreign trip. I'm as eager as you all are. I'm as eager as you all are. I love foreign travel.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: She loves foreign travel. She gets to use her brand new vacation hat. Remember when we were told that competency would return after Trump? Well, what kind of competency did they have in mind? The in kind.
Joe Biden just hired Suzy Levine to run the agency that processes unemployment claims due to the shutdown. Thing is, Levine just fled a similar department in Washington State where they were billed by over 600 million bucks in fraudulent claims made by Nigerian scammers.
Yes, under her watch, her department was taken by the same crew who sent you misspelled nonsensical e-mails begging you to wire money immediately to an account for their aunt who is stuck at the airport and needs a kidney. Yes, the e-mails you auto delete.
Levine took seriously with 122,000 phony claims fulfilled. Now, maybe I'm wrong. But if I'm looking to hire someone, getting taken by Nigerian scammers might prevent you from getting your foot in the door especially if your job entails not being cheated by Nigerian scammers.
And the media doesn't even think it's news. They're too obsessed with your nutty aunt in Georgia who, as goofball as she may be, didn't send 600 million taxpayer dollars to Nigerian scammers. How do you think this in competent was somehow deemed competent enough to get promoted to a national position?
If you said by donating a pile of money to the Biden campaign, I'd say "Bingo." She gave 400 grand to the Biden campaign and other Democratic causes in 2019 and 2020. Who knows? Maybe she thought they were Nigerians in desperate need of unemployment benefits.
You'd think somehow, someone would ask Joe about this. I mean, does he even understand how jobs work?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: And now President Biden on job creation?
TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING JOE BIDEN: Look, man, we can get people back to work. We've just got to come up with some new jobs. You know, think outside the hoagie.
How about this door-to-door confetti salesmen, underwater accountant, personal trainer for Brian Stelter. That's 10,000 new jobs right there.
I'm serious man. Once I took a road trip in the Lost City of Atlantis with Corn Pop, that's when we came up with the idea for Buffalo wings. Genius.
Text Joe to Ocean's 11, twelve Angry Men and Apollo 13. Free bag of confetti with every order.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So in order to be competent, of course, it would help to understand what people do for a living and the terms they work with every day. Right, Kamala?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KAMALA HARRIS (D), VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: When you talk to him about climate change, the first thing that he talks about is job creation. For example, all of those skilled workers who are in the coal industry and transferring those skills to what we need to do in terms of dealing with reclaiming abandoned land mines.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Land mines, I think she meant lands where old mines are or maybe not. Either way, someone just reclaimed her mind. It's always easy for a politician to tell you to get a new job after they eliminate yours, because they are never truly ever unemployed. They just move from one appointment to the next, rising up without doing anything of merit. Just look at Hunter's bank account.
Or just like Buttigieg, our new Transportation Secretary, what did he do exactly? Seriously? Was solving South Bend Indiana's subway problem an example of Biden's era competency? Or was it his long-winded sentences about nothing?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PETE BUTTIGIEG (D), U.S. TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY: The gas tax has not been increased since 1993, and it's never been pegged to inflation.
There are several different models, again, in the short to medium term that could include revisiting the gas tax, adjusting it and/or connecting it to inflation. Right now, it's also assessed as you know, in a dollars and cents level, not on a percentage basis.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: We'll get back to you when we figure out what that means, if it's before I retire. It's so touching, watching these elites giving advice to coal miners on new job opportunities.
Learn to code is now learn to solar. Learn to wind. Learn to draw Tippy the Turtle. I miss Tippy.
They don't realize it's not just coal and gas workers they are hurting, but every person who relies on coal and gas for their jobs. The owners of the businesses they use, the schools their kids go to.
I wonder if our new transportation czar understands how transportation works. It's not Fred Flintstone's feet, but it could be soon.
It's amazing, Kamala was perhaps the least successful candidate in the Democratic primary and has somehow now just a heartbeat away from the presidency and it is a heartbeat she checks on daily. She should really stop sneaking up on Joe and yelling surprise, but her presence explains Joe's leftward lurch. No offense to John Kerry.
Biden' is the man pretending to be politically right down the middle like that white line painted down the center of a highway, which makes sense because daily, he is being run over by the squad.
And every day flat as a pancake, he is unaware of what just hit him. Sadly, we do. But as they say, elections have consequences. Not for them, but for us.
ANNOUNCER: Period.
GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guest. He is so sharp, he sleeps in a kitchen drawer. "Washington Times" opinion editor and FOX News contributor, Charlie Hurt.
She is so bright, the sun sends her fan mail, "Spectator" contributor, Kate Hyde.
She's got spark and snark, but can't parallel park. Host of "Sincerely Kat" on FOX Nation, Kat Timpf.
And when life gives him lemons he says, "What are those? I can't see them from up here." My massive side kick and host of "Nuff Said" on FOX Nation, Tyrus.
All right, Charlie, third week into the administration. What do you -- how do you think things are going along?
CHARLIE HURT, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK CONTRIBUTOR: Well, you know, in that clip, I can't help but sort of feel sorry for Jen Psaki because the number of times I was in school and I was sitting in the back of the classroom, and I didn't have the answer to something and you're right, she did have the answers.
She knew the question beforehand.
GUTFELD: Yes.
HURT: So it's sort of hard to feel bad, but I can't -- I can't help but relate. Could you imagine if somebody in the Trump administration had performed like that? Can you imagine if Kayleigh McEnany had performed like that in -- the media would have absolutely destroyed her.
But at the end of the day, you know the glib, you know this attitude, this jokey attitude, it's not working. I think it wears thin. It is basically the Obama administration without Obama, which is not going to work long term, you know.
You know, it's like -- it's like you've got this cool gang without the cool guy that's at the center of it.
GUTFELD: That's a good point. It's also kind of like the sarcasm that was in the Press Corps has now flipped, and now it's up there. Kayleigh never would have done that. Kayleigh already would have been at the page.
HURT: Oh, she would.
GUTFELD: She would just hear the first few words --
HURT: She had binders and binders of facts that she -- and I mean, she is a Harvard lawyer. I mean, you can't beat that.
GUTFELD: Well, I could beat that. Anyway, Kate, what about the Space Force? Was she right to treat the Space Force with such dismissive levity.
KATE HYDE, CONTRIBUTOR, "THE SPECTATOR": Well, that's the thing, it does feel like we're circling back to Obama 2.0 with this whole administration, but if we just orbit back to Space Force.
It really is something that I think she feels like she has to knock it down because it's one of Trumps coolest legacies that he left behind. And you know, she keeps saying that oh, space force, such a little thing. I'll talk to their point person.
It feels like she thinks their point person might be Steve Carell after that Netflix special. I don't think she even knows anything about it. She just really tries to knock it down.
GUTFELD: It's kind of like those shows, Kat, on VH1 when they had asked somebody about the Hiltons, and they didn't have it, like they have like a C-level celebrity and they'll go like, the Hiltons, what's up with that? And there'd be nothing after that. I don't have anything after that. But what's up with the Hiltons? Right?
How do you feel about the Space Force, Kat?
KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, I think -- I don't worry about it very often. But the thing that really got me was this Nigerian, oh, like that's huge, right?
I mean, on the one hand, it has got to be very inspiring for [bleep] everywhere. Like, it's got to give -- you can't keep a job. You keep screwing up at work. You've got to look at this and feel a little bit of hope.
But on the other, like way bigger, larger, Tyrus-sized, even hand. It's -- yes, like that big of a hand. It is insane to see somebody accidentally give $600 million of taxpayer money, right? Not her money to Nigerian scammers, and then say, you know what, let's move her up to the Federal level.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: That is completely mind blowing. Anyone else could do the job. I could do the job better than that, and I'm not even entirely sure what it involves. Like, I am not sure.
GUTFELD: Yes. No, it's true. You could learn it in the first day. Make sure the claims are legitimate. Nigerian scammers. What's up with that? I've got to tell you, out of this whole story, Tyrus, the one lesson I got is that I have amazing respect for Nigerian scammers. I used to think like know what the deal is. It's like the construction worker that cat calls.
One cat call out of 10,000, he might get lucky. That's what Nigerian scammers do. They just figure if they just keep sending out e-mails --
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Oh, they will come forward.
GUTFELD: They are going to get one person in this case, this person was in charge.
MURDOCH: You know what, I hate to be the adult in the room. But you're both wrong. This entire panel is wrong. Embarrassingly wrong.
GUTFELD: Okay.
MURDOCH: Okay. First of all, it's exactly why she was hired that she had the ability to spend other people's money with absolutely no regard for responsibility. That is exactly what we're looking for.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: I'm sure in the interview, she probably didn't want to bring that up. So I understand that you paid Nigerian $600 million. It's not -- now, can you do that with say $5 billion? It's taxpayer money. It's not really ours. We can do whatever you want with it.
So I think that was legitimately like -- they're like, "That's exactly what we're looking for." Kat, you could not do that because you'd be like, this is other people's money. Sorry. She's got to go.
And the other thing, listen, I don't think so much we need to be on her speaking. She unfortunately was given Joe Biden's handwritten notes.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: So she's flipping through the pages and it literally said, circle back. Not sure. Drawing Crayola, a menu for soup. I mean, I'm sure she was like, you've got to be -- he didn't write anything. You know, I'm saying in the first foreign trip, is the basement.
GUTFELD: Oh, yes. A little soup stain in the corner.
MURDOCH: Yes. Just across the board real quick. I mean, just this is what we -- you wanted it. This is what we got.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
MURDOCH: And they don't have to be right. They don't even have to be accurate because they're already better. The things are -- the adults are in the room. Where?
GUTFELD: Circle back is going to be a great name for a Nickelback tribute band. Right? We're going to circle back with -- I don't even know a Nickelback song. What's up with Nickelback?
TIMPF: Yes, you do.
GUTFELD: From Canada. That's why you go to Canada, Joe, to see Nickelback.
MURDOCH: Question, has anyone ever told you they were going to circle back and actually go back?
GUTFELD: No one ever circles back. No one ever --
MURDOCH: Someone asked for a raise, I was like, we will circle back to that.
GUTFELD: No, no, no, no, they just think -- they do a sync -- a beeline for the door.
All right up next, what do Bernie Sanders and Tom Brady have in common? I can't wait to tell you.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: She has no love for Bernie's glove. A teacher in San Francisco wrote an op-ed declaring Bernie Sanders mittens and brown parka are proof of white privilege, which kicks off our new segment.
ANNOUNCER: Everything is racist.
GUTFELD: It's true, everything is racist. The teacher claims that wearing such drab clothing at an event like the Inauguration is a privilege move. Quote: "I don't know how many poor or working class or female who would show up at the Inaugural Address as Bernie." So to sum up wearing a suit or a gown not privilege, wearing recycled wool mittens privilege.
Now what else is racist in San Francisco schools? Acronyms. According to the SF Unified School District, acronyms reflect white supremacy culture, so they renamed its Art Department, VAPA, which stood for Visual And Performing Arts has now become SF USD Arts Department, to which I say STFU, which means Sally Tolerates Frilly Underwear.
But the woke find racism and privilege in everything. Like Tom Brady. It's true.
A column in "U.S.A. Today" says Brady has gotten a pass for his Trump support, quote, "Brady's ability to enter and exit the debate at his choosing to shield himself from accountability is the height of white privilege." I always wonder where all these woke ideas come from? And then I saw this ad in the middle of the night.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANNOUNCER: Are you tired of losing arguments? Do you wish you could crush anyone in conversation without having to put in the hard work of actually researching complicated issues? Then you need woke-a-day-toilet-paper.
Other toilet papers just wipe your butt. But woke-a-day-toilet-paper- toilet-paper teaches you a word that blows up any attempt at reasonable discussion while you blow up the bathroom so you can wipe out facts and logic out of any debate.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, yes. You know, before woke-a-day-toilet-paper, I didn't know what I was talking about. I still don't, but now I know I don't need to know anything about anything to be an arrogant, sanctimonious windbag.
It's problematic. It's racist. It's privileges.
TIMPF: I used to always lose in political arguments to my coworker, Steve. Thanks to woke-a-day-toilet-paper, I always win. Plus, I got him evicted, cyberbullied and of course fired.
Thanks, woke-a-day-toilet-paper.
ANNOUNCER: Woke-a-day-toilet-paper. Why just wipe your butt when you could put your head up there too?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: All right, Kate, a lot to choose from there. Acronyms. Acronyms are racist. Did you know that? FYI.
HYDE: I've learned. I've learned and what was really interesting is acronyms are racist, but initialism isn't? They changed their name to SFU, whatever, and that's no longer racist. But yes, no, it's really interesting to learn that LASER, RADAR and COVID are all white privilege dog whistles.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Perfectionism, objectivity --
TIMPF: Objectivity.
GUTFELD: Objectivity. Same thing. What is the difference between initialism and acronyms?
HYDE: One creates another word like VAPA, where you can say it out loud becomes another word. That's an acronym. But if it's just, you know --
TIMPF: When you said FYI, that was actually initialism.
HYDE: Exactly.
HURT: VAPA or vapid?
GUTFELD: I feel like I'm being acronym-splained.
TIMPF: It's okay. Listen, I had not that many friends when I was younger, and I filled the hole with grammar. So it is not your fault.
GUTFELD: It hasn't changed much, has it, Kat?
TIMPF: No.
GUTFELD: Well, how do you feel about this story?
TIMPF: Look, yes --
GUTFELD: Or stories?
TIMPF: So when they had this memo that announced this change, they cited this 1999 paper as the reason for it, but the same paper actually suggested that memos are racist.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: So I don't know what makes less sense, that or the fact that this Bernie white privilege article, which is about the blight and struggles of the poor was also behind a paywall.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Even though like Bernie, he raised almost $2 million when this thing went viral for organizations like Meals on Wheels and it's almost as if the hyper woke-ism is a substitute for, you know, logical thinking and reasonable thought and you know, sometimes certainly in these cases, it just really, really shows.
GUTFELD: You know what, Meals on Wheels. Rhyming. Rhyming. Not good. That's not -- yes, that's racist. Tyrus --
MURDOCH: You all taking rhyming, too? Boy, you're tricking us putting your consonants together with little periods? Aca -- what? How am I supposed to understand what's going on?
GUTFELD: What --
MURDOCH: I just like to circle back to that. What's killing me, is first of all, you all really can't go that way. You said this was a racist segment. So you should have hit me with an epitaph or two and left me out the conversation. You're too scared. You're too scared, because you don't have black privilege, which I have.
You want black privileges, like wear my hat backwards and look like I'm hanging out at a club while you all are wearing suits and stuff because everyone is too scared.
HURT: It's also a privilege of being black.
MURDOCH: Because they're like, well, he shouldn't really wear his hat that way, I think it's a cultural thing. Let me ask -- and I milk it to death. So you know what? You want to have --
GUTFELD: That's true. That's how he got the chair.
MURDOCH: That's how I got the chair.
GUTFELD: That's how he got the chair.
MURDOCH: Black people are known for back problems, right? You know what I am saying. If this is racist, let's go there.
TIMPF: At the end of our podcast, he always has to say "Enough said." Because I can't say, "enough said."
MURDOCH: Yes, no you can't. You just -- we use white privilege in racist in all this stuff so much to where if I was a city, if I was the Grand Dragon of the Klan, I'd be like, this is wonderful. We can go anywhere and do anything because no one is going to pay attention. The word is -- it's a comma now.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: I don't disagree with, Greg. He's white, racist, white privileged.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: Bernie Sanders dress accordingly for being out in the winter is white privilege?
TIMPF: Yes, he is an old man in freezing temperatures.
MURDOCH: Not just good planning? So let me get this straight, I can't keep walking a cold ass room and put some mittens on? Because I am a sell out? It's cold. This is -- we've gotten to the point where it's just what the hell is going on in this world to where if you want to know what real racism is, go back in time. Look what it was like for Martin Luther King, Jr.
Look what it was like in the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Now, we can all be woke. And here is a funny thing about woke, that means you've missed it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: If you're awake, you know what's going on. You woke past it, it's by you.
So don't be woke. Get your ass up in the first place and make some sense when you talk.
GUTFELD: Amen.
MURDOCH: White privilege, you can kiss my ass.
HURT: Because it's never been about race. It's always been about knocking Tom Brady down. It's always been about trying to knock down somebody who is better than you or whatever.
But I think you know, in the political realm, I really do think that you have all of these leftists, these Democrats, these former liberals who are sitting around and finally like -- and Trump had a lot to do with it -- where you have Republicans or conservatives coming out and realizing that all of this crap about racism, it's just like, screw you.
It's like they're walking out of a cave. They've been in a cave for so long. They're blinded by the sunlight. They're walking out. And all these liberals -- or again, not liberals, they are leftists -- are sitting there and they're laughing their tails off.
Look at what these people are saying, can you believe they bought this crap for so long? We have been owning them for 20 years now on this complete lie of a line and they fell for it. And they did whatever we told him to do for all this time. And they have to think it's hilarious that they fell for it so long.
GUTFELD: Yes. All I know is you're guilty of white privilege for everything you just said.
HURT: Probably.
GUTFELD: And we're going to edit it all out. You're just going to hear me singing.
Okay, up next, vaccines for terrorists. Who exactly is calling these shots? Wow.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ASHLEY STROHMIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Ashley Strohmier.
New fears tonight as Super Bowl parties could trigger another coronavirus surge. Health officials are urging people to skip big parties and limit gatherings to household members and Zoom. The matchup between Kansas City and Tampa Bay comes as the U.S. is struggling to contain a new variant of the virus. Only 25,000 fans will be at the game including 7,500 vaccinated healthcare workers, 30,000 cardboard cutouts will also be in the stands.
Wyoming's Republican Party voting today to censure Representative Liz Cheney. She is just the latest Republican to face punishment for voting to impeach former President Trump. His trial starts Tuesday. Cheney survived an attempt earlier this week to remove her from her congressional leadership post. She is the number three Republican in the House.
I'm Ashley Strohmier, now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW. For all of your headlines log on to http://foxnews.com.
ANNOUNCER: Pandemic-Con.
GUTFELD: Should we feel less trusty if pilots are rusty? "The LA Times" reports that low travel demand due to the pandemic has resulted in more in- flight errors. In one case, a pilot took three tries to land a passenger jet on a windy day, it took me two, and one First Officer admitted he forgot to activate his planes anti-icing mechanism, and yet another pilot actually parked his plane in a handicap space.
Meanwhile, The Pentagon paused plans to vaccinate Gitmo inmates, yes, initially guys like 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed were in line to get the shot before millions of Americans, but after political and public outcry, The Pentagon pulled back.
Finally, the C.D.C. issued guidelines for watching the Super Bowl with others, including bringing your own food, plates, cups and condiments. Avoiding chanting or cheering and limiting the booze. Boohoo. Of course, we all know that's not easy to do. So I asked my doctor, Steve Phoenix to make a video on how you should watch the big game.
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
GUTFELD: I would have double bagged. But hey, that's just me, Tyrus. Will you be following the Super Bowl rules?
MURDOCH: Hell no. Like it's my house. I'll cheer if I want to. I guess, some of these guidelines the time they take to tell us things. Listen, there's sharks in the water, if you're going to have people in your house, you run the risk. I don't need to know -- don't have them cheer. We were going to sit like this.
TIMPF: Nobody is going to go and bring the bag of their own condiments to someone else's house and sit by themselves and sit sober.
MURDOCH: No, because as soon as they do, I'd be like, that is very white privilege of you. You bring your own mustard -- what? My black mustard ain't good enough for you, bro? My dip is my broccoli. You know what I am saying? Brown mustard, have him removed.
This -- we're getting to the point --
GUTFELD: Mustard the color, you --
MURDOCH: But the point is, is just -- it's a Super Bowl. And it's not the Super Bowl people are yelling and screaming their TVs at. It's the media in the news that is getting all the screams and yells, so if you want to give someone some tips on how to watch the news, maybe do that because the only screaming in my house is when that stuff is going on.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know --
MURDOCH: I watch the game alone.
TIMPF: They would like text people during the game, like way ahead of you.
MURDOCH: If you text me during the game, you are not going to like the acronym that I send back to you.
GUTFELD: I always take food. I take food and condiments from the Super Bowl party. I don't bring it. It is like the same thing with like stuff in the medicine cabinet.
MURDOCH: Well you have to --
GUTFELD: Why? No one asks me anymore.
HURT: And you put them in your package drawer at home.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
HURT: You raid the -- whoever has the Super Bowl party, you raid all their condiments.
MURDOCH: But you also don't want to be the guy who doesn't bring anything because everyone will talk about you.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. That's true. I wouldn't.
HURT: I mean, it really does. You know, this whole thing, this war on fun, which is what we've all endured for a year.
GUTFELD: WOF. Sorry, Tyrus.
MURDOCH: Dammit, I don't know what that means.
HURT: It's white privilege. But so -- but you know, it really -- you know, and we've all sort of like, you know bought into it to some degree because, you know what the hell, I'm not an epidemiologist, if --
GUTFELD: You're not? That's why you're here.
HURT: If people want -- you know, if it makes other people feel more comfortable, I'm going to wear a mask. That's great. I don't -- you know, whatever. But at the end of the day, you start to wonder, wait, is this about that? Or is this about a control thing that we're going to live with forever.
GUTFELD: Forever.
TIMPF: Just two weeks to stop the spread.
HURT: Exactly.
GUTFELD: What are you worried more about? The rusty pilots?
HURT: Is that like -- is that like a move?
TIMPF: I don't know.
GUTFELD: I think it's a drink.
TIMPF: At least there won't be any, like normal sized bottles of lotion on those planes. So at least you can feel safe there. Yes, no, I'm not -- look, I'm more worried like what Charlie says that we're never going to go back to -- I don't even like going out that much. And now I'm like, I would give anything to just like, stand in a line to go somewhere. Just you know --
I took an extra-long lap around the pharmacy the other day, because it made me feel a little social. But yes, the guidelines don't help because like we said, nobody's going to do that. Like nobody is doing that. Zero people are going to do exactly what they said.
MURDOCH: People who don't want you to enjoy the game are going to use it against you.
GUTFELD: Yes. And then --
MURDOCH: So I can say now, no, you can't have your friends over, hon. Sorry.
TIMPF: Sit in your corner with your male friends. You brought yourselves - -
HURT: You have someone in mind, Tyrus?
MURDOCH: Yes, but legally not allowed to mention her name. She would ruin Super Bowl parties every year for me.
HURT: There is a restraining order --
MURDOCH: Now, I've got to hear C.D.C. rules and I'd be like, no. Damn you for being right.
TIMPF: I do sometimes bring my own Parmesan cheese. But that's just because I don't want to be rude. I use a lot of it.
GUTFELD: Interesting. I'm glad you included that fact in this segment.
All right, Kate, last word to you. Gitmo, Super Bowl. Take your pick.
HYDE: Oh, man. Well, first, I'd like to congratulate the C.D.C. for using initialism and not an acronym that was really good. But yes, it's great.
HURT: And I'm so impressed that somebody figured that out. I had no idea what the difference was.
HYDE: But really, it's just -- I see the C.D.C. become a government funded party planning committee. If you look at all the guidelines, it wasn't just about keeping the distance and wearing masks like we normally see, they were saying if you show up at your friend's house you can wear the colors of the team, you don't have to --
It is so bizarre how specific they were being in what you could do and it's like -- am I about to go on Pinterest and find the C.D.C. Board of like having friends --
TIMPF: Like, you're dressing me now?
HYDE: Yes. It's really -- it's too much and it's not fun, but to circle back to the pilots. Am I the only one that doesn't want to know anything about my pilot? I just assumed they're either robots or Sully.
MURDOCH: No, actually, they are avid fans of THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW.
GUTFELD: They always are. Every pilot goes, hey and they always go -- look, that's -- they go, hey, how are you doing?
MURDOCH: Always, hey, Tyrus.
HYDE: As long as they keep you --
MURDOCH: Keep doing it. How's the little guy? He is small -- S-M-all.
HURT: That is --
MURDOCH: Always.
HURT: That is size --
GUTFELD: But they always have to -- the flight attendants always have to whisper it because they don't want anybody else to hear them go, I love your show.
MURDOCH: Here's some water.
GUTFELD: Yes. No one else will get the wine. We are giving you the wine.
MURDOCH: Yes.
GUTFELD: Take it all.
MURDOCH: We love you. Keep ---
GUTFELD: We are staying at the Hilton.
All right, up next, we get a rare peek at where Hitler parked his cheeks.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Would you own a Nazi thrown? A toilet seat once belonged to Adolf Hitler is up for auction. It could reportedly fetch up to 15 grand. According to the auction site, the seat was taken from Hitler's home in Bavaria by an American soldier and has remained in his family's private collection -- what private -- private collection of what? Other toilets?
With only a few days left, the dictator dumper has struggled to attract bidders. How mysterious? I can't see why anyone wouldn't want something so charming in their house.
Hey, honey, you know what look great in the living room next to the credenza, Hitler's toilet? We could put a framed picture of your mother in law on the lid. I don't know. But for 15,000 bucks, I'd rather bid on this.
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
GUTFELD: Maybe I would take Hitler's toilet over that. That takes up a lot of room, Kat. Why stop there? Why not get Stalin's shower head and Mao's bidet?
TIMPF: Yes, I'm sure people would. People love stuff like this, and if you're not a museum, I don't get why. I guess, the only reason is so that you can show people. Like, look at this thing I have.'
But with Hitler's toilet specifically, I'm not sure that that is going to prompt the results that you might necessarily want. Like, imagine that you feel like, go home with a guy, like, here is the kitchen. Here's the living room. Here's Hitler's toilet.
GUTFELD: All right, Kate. It's true. If I came into somebody's house and there was Hitler's toilet, I would probably leave.
HYDE: Yes, I think you know, they thought it was a good talking, you know, a discussion. But my first question, I don't know if this should have been my first question. But was it cleaned? Is this -- was this taken off of the --
TIMPF: That's sold separately.
HYDE: Yes. Like what is going on here? It's just -- but I mean, you know, I feel a little bit bad for this U.S. soldier. I think he thought he was grabbing something and he had an investment to sit on for a few years, but I don't know if it's going to work out that well.
GUTFELD: Nice. I know there's so many things to steal when you're looting a dictator's. Hitler's toilet, what's up with that, Charlie?
HURT: But, think of the competition. Everybody else is grabbing the silver. The goblets and all this kind of stuff. But nobody is going to grab the toilet seat.
GUTFELD: And we're doing a segment -- and we're not doing a segment on the goblet.
HURT: Right. Exactly. And it's very American. It's like, okay, so I want to go where there's least competition and, you know, do something. But the other thing that I love about it is that, you talk about the greatest -- this is why we're the greatest generation. Most of them are dead now. They're still dunking on Hitler.
They're still mocking and ridiculing him, even though and there are stories --
TIMPF: Well, I mean, he was bad.
HURT: Yes, I get it. Oh, not only that, but here's his toilet seat, and we're going to sell it for 15 grand. It's just -- it is like -- it's such creative dunking. It's like a whole new level --
GUTFELD: It's creative flushing, not just -- speaking of dunking, what did you use to call that thing, Tyrus, where you put somebody's head in the toilet seat? A swirl.
HURT: A swirly.
GUTFELD: I would do that to the person who had the toilet seat.
MURDOCH: First of all, where the hell you get -- asking me about dunking. I know what you meant by that, and I didn't know if you can dunk.
GUTFELD: I said swirl.
HURT: You know that was racist.
MURDOCH: You know what, I've got to be honest with you. I'm shocked because by all mainstream media leads and white supremacy and white privilege, shouldn't this be up to like a billion dollars right now? Shouldn't the bidding just be crazy?
GUTFELD: That's true.
MURDOCH: For the King of white supremacists?
GUTFELD: Yes, you're right.
MURDOCH: I don't understand it. Why is this not at $1.5 billion? Elon Musk, what's going on guys? Like --
GUTFELD: That's such a good point.
MURDOCH: You know, why is this not here, Greg? Where is it? Are you bidding? Like what is going on? Charlie, how much are you putting on this?
HURT: The seat is white, though. That's the thing.
MURDOCH: Exactly, even more, you know, but if -- in the story, the best part was like the guy I think, he took paintings and stuff. Him and boys, they were trashing the place and his buddy was like, why the hell are you taking that? He is like because his ass was on it. They laughed about it. It was a joke.
He got it as a joke like ha-ha keepsake from World War, you know, but why is this not being sold?
GUTFELD: That is a good --
MURDOCH: White privilege. What -- you guys got --
GUTFELD: Excellent point. Excellent point. Maybe Marilyn Manson will buy it.
MURDOCH: White supremacy?
GUTFELD: He buys all this --
MURDOCH: Are the whites going broke? Are you guys low on money? Do you guys need a loan?
GUTFELD: When I meet with my group tonight, we are going to talk about it.
MURDOCH: Because in our group, we are going to bring it up like, it looks like their numbers -- money is down. Now's the time to strike.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. My favorite story next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Did he misconstrue his favorite shampoo? Jonathan Kay, an editor for the online magazine, "Quillette" made the following confession on Twitter. "So it turns out I've been using dog shampoo on my hair for the last few months. I only discovered it when I ran out and needed more. This is partly my own fault. But it doesn't help that Arm & Hammer has the word pets in like four point typeface (which is small). I'm guessing this is common."
No, Jon, it's not common, as many on Twitter pointed out, and that's because there's a giant picture of a dog on the bottle, which makes most people realize, hey, I'm not this shampoo's target demographic. Well, look, Jon gave us a laugh at his expense and that's great. And maybe he's onto something. Maybe dog shampoo is better than our stuff, right, Bernice?
[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]
GUTFELD: That's from my private collection. All right, Tyrus. Have you ever used the wrong stuff for different reasons?
HURT: Please don't answer
MURDOCH: I find that covering small white men with shampoo is easier to get them in the box. Listen, I've been using Horse and Mane forever.
TIMPF: Me too. Mane and Tail.
MURDOCH: It's good enough for a horse, it is good enough for me. Chances are, although this is clearly attention seeking. I didn't notice the dog. Did you notice it was in the animal section when you bought it, bro? It's not exactly you know -- it's not exactly where we have people shampoo, dog shampoo, horses, parrots -- like you have to go get a specific thing.
And if you order online, you have to type it in. So no matter how he tries to swing this, somebody was feeling a little lonely and be like, oh, gosh, guys, guess what happened? It's partly my -- and at the same time he left the door open to get Arm & Hammer off. Yes, you could cancel them. Their small print. Was it an acronym?
GUTFELD: I don't know Kate, is this like a thirsty tweet that he was just trying to get attention or could his wife have left it in there after shampooing the dog? If they did have a dog?
HYDE: Yes, that's what I'm thinking, you know, that the shampoo was in there and he just started using it. And to be fair, as he noted later that just because a dog is on the bottle, that doesn't mean -- since when has an animal being on the packaging ever really stopped anything? I mean, tricks aren't for rabbits. They're for kids. And animal crackers. You know, they're not feeding those to the circus animals to do tricks.
And just because there's a dog on the box with the milk bones that doesn't keep me from dunking it in my tea in the morning.
GUTFELD: Those are delicious. Yes, you know, Kat, to be fair after you said he did have a very shiny coat.
TIMPF: Yes, like I said, I've only ever -- I used the horse shampoo when I was younger, but only on purpose did I use horse shampoo because I thought -- they'd say it'll make your hair long if you use the shampoo, and I only for me to discover, the only way to make my hair long is to buy long hair and add it to my hair is what I found worked best.
MURDOCH: I was told it was for good hair.
GUTFELD: You know, Charlie, I remember in -- there was a kid in my class in school who used self-tanning lotion for the wrong reason and his palm was a delicious brown. I think there's like people who make mistakes.
HURT: Why do you come to me with observations?
GUTFELD: I don't know. It's definitely not me.
TIMPF: It took me a minute.
GUTFELD: It is my task.
MURDOCH: I wouldn't allow him to ask me that question.
HURT: All I can say is that where I'm from, they actually sell horse shampoo in the human aisle. So I don't think that it's all that unusual. But what's really amusing about it is if you actually -- and I actually had missed the story, which I'm sorry I did, because it's a really great story.
But if you actually go on to the Twitter thing and hit the thing that says the comments on it and go down read, people were really upset at the guy. They were like infuriated.
GUTFELD: That's how slow news has become without Trump.
HURT: Yes.
GUTFELD: Everybody is getting angry at weird stuff. They want to kill that lady in Georgia because there's no Trump.
HURT: Yes.
GUTFELD: And the dog shampoo story drove people crazy.
HURT: And they were so upset that he only took partial blame for doing it. And they're like, no, it's all you fault, you should die.
GUTFELD: And then like "Quillette" is a great online magazine and they are getting grief for it. That's --
HURT: What do you expect from somebody from "Quillette?"
GUTFELD: We are coming back. Stick around.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ANNOUNCER: Final thoughts. It's the last thought. That's why it's called the final thoughts. Okay.
GUTFELD: Yes, we're there. It's like -- you know what, it is Twitter without the [bleep]. You've got to sign up.
MURDOCH: Thanks, guys.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: I don't have one. But what I do have --
GUTFELD: What?
MURDOCH: Let's go Tom Brady, the GOAT wins his 10th.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: Other time has to wait.
GUTFELD: Do you have a score?
MURDOCH: Thirty one, twenty four, Bucs.
GUTFELD: Interesting, well, I don't have a prediction. So I'm just going to shut up, and leave. Goodbye everybody, Charlie, Kate, Kat, Tyrus.
I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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