This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 19, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

PETE HEGSETH, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Pete Hegseth along with Jedediah Bila, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.


HEGSETH: That's him. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”

Greg, we're glad you're here.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

HEGSETH: A flurry of activity coming out of Washington, D.C., Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell putting together a plan to avert a government shutdown after Democrats refused to budge on funding a border wall.

Also, President Trump scoring a big win after the Senate overwhelmingly passes a criminal justice reform bill. He's ready to sign it into office - - into law once it moves to the House.

And President Trump declaring victory internationally here against ISIS in Syria in a tweet, and announcing the 2,000 American troops will be withdrawing very soon.

All of this, of course, happening as Democrats prepares an onslaught of investigations into President Trump and his administration. Dana, I'll start with you. This feels like a muddy moment.

DANA PERINO, HOST: It's like the end of the year get everything done type thing.

HEGSETH: Very much so. So you've got this transition of power. You've got the president saying he wants a wall. He's going to shut it down if he doesn't get it. Now we're seeing a C.R. into this -- into February when Nancy Pelosi will be the speaker of the House.


HEGSETH: Prison reform bill passes but overwhelmingly bipartisan, and then this declaration that, hey, we defeated ISIS, time to leave Syria. A lot of questions about where that came from, how quickly that will happen. What do you make of this --

PERINO: Well, I'm going to take them one by one if I could because I think there's some logic to them.

GUTFELD: I prefer that you don't and do it all at once. PERINO: Just again one big paragraph.


PERINO: No empathy. I mean, no commas and -- OK, I'll give it a shot right now. OK. On the wall funding, I think that this is just a nod to reality. It was going to be very difficult to do this without having a shutdown of the government. I think the president didn't want that distraction over the next two weeks. It wasn't going to be possible to get the 5 billion, and I think that they just realized that were going to have to have this fight another time. And, it is just reality that the --

HEGSETH: Why do you want to have it when the Democrats are in charge?

PERINO: Well, just because -- they weren't going to be able to do it now. So, it's almost like -- he gave the direction to the agencies, like let me know what money you have available. We might be able to reprogram it. Of course, the Congress is saying maybe you can't do that. But, it's sort of this, like, you can argue it round or argue it flat because the Democrats are not saying they're not for any border security. They would be for border security. They just don't want him to call it the wall.


HEGSETH: It's just semantics.

HEGSETH: And fence moral but a wall isn't?

PERINO: Right, right, right. There is that. And then on criminal justice reform, this is a big win for him. And sometimes Republican presidents can get things done that Democrats can't. This is a bill that was stalled during the Obama administration. It could not get through the Republican Senate, but President Trump put his shoulder behind it, so did Jared Kushner. But also, giving a hand to the Democrats who said we want to work with him. It's that important.

Sometimes issues take so long to work its way through, and the public has to come along. It takes a little while to do that. This is a big win and it will help a lot of people, so that's good.

On ISIS, I think that one is -- it's certainly the president's prerogative. It does seem curious. I think we'll probably hear a lot more about it. And I hope he's right, but --


HEGSETH: Yeah. I mean, I think we all hope he's right. If ISIS has been decimated, but if you were not there, Iran still is. Turkey still is. Russia still is.

PERINO: And so, then all of your other priorities get a little bit wash up.

JEDEDIAH BILA, HOST: Don't you think it's interesting though that so much -- he's pulling out this libertarian muscle all of a sudden with the criminal justice reform. Everyone was saying, oh, you know, that reflects that the libertarian wing of the Republican Party is strong.

Also, when you talk about Syria, withdrawing the troops, I think it was a different side of him. And it was a side that he campaigned heavily on. I remember when he was campaigning, hearing him talk about, you know, his involvement in potential war, that was something -- I have a strong libertarian streak that kind of attracted me to him.

And I wonder if that part of the party, the Rand Paul's, the Mike Lee's have pull a little bit of pressure on him to not go so hawkish and to try to get some of these things done that they feel will appeal more to not only them but also to independent voters, to people on the center, to younger voters as he looks forward to, you know, his next run. He's going to need a lot of those people in the middle who might be attracted to policies like that.

HEGSETH: You know, it is -- it will be a nice thing for him to be able to say in 2020, hey, we passed criminal justice reform. I'm the president for everybody, the forgotten men and women in prison, too, who had sentences that didn't fit the crime. Is this a win -- is this the win for the president on that issue?

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Yeah. It's interesting to me because from what we hear Jared Kushner has been the guy who's put himself out there. I think a lot of people feel as if they've been talking and just stomp by the presence of Jeff Sessions as attorney general who refused to move on this, and then Mitch McConnell who wouldn't call a vote. Mitch McConnell changed his mind and went along. But the president and the White House had been in favor of this all along. And so, yes, in that sense you could say it's a win for the president.

HEGSETH: Do you feel like Democrats -- are they finding a groove -- we talked about these investigations. Is that going to be what they're sort of known for in 2019 if you look forward into the New Year? Are they going to -- are they going to focus on any legislation or -- well, I mean, the list of investigations, tax -- Trump's tax returns, tax organizations, his business interest, Ryan Zinke, members of his cabinet.

You know, Elijah Cummins sent 51 letters to the White House recently demanding that by middle of January there's answers to all these stuff. What will define Democrats in the New Year?

WILLIAMS: Well, I think for Democrats it will be all about trying to get something done. But I think this will be a part of it because so much of - - everything we talk about, Pete, is President Trump. And right now his troubles are mounting and the closing of his foundation here. So much of it is just everything Trump is news.

But in fact, I think what you're going to see especially from Nancy Pelosi in House leadership is an emphasis on showing voters that, guess what, our party is able to succeed and to reach solutions, get things done for you.

Like, for instance, when we talk about this wall, I mean, President Trump said, oh, you know what, Mexico is going to pay for it. That's what he campaigned on, right? Then he said, oh, the military will build it, right? And then he said, oh, no, I'll find the money, we're going to get -- and, obviously, it was never going to get done. It's not going to get done.

HEGSETH: Well, I don't think that was an obvious. But, I mean, I think you're pointing out some fair moments where that has been hedged upon.

WILLIAMS: But I will say this to you, on Syria, I am stunned. It looks to me like we have flipped identities. The Republicans are the ones -- Lindsey Graham and others saying this is a huge Obama-like mistake. And then you go and you listen to the --

PERINO: Well, at least they're consistent.

WILLIAMS: I'm sorry.

PERINO: I mean, at least they're consistent.

HEGSETH: -- consistent on this issue.

WILLIAMS: But then you hear people -- I'm looking here, Ted Lieu, the congressman from California. Robert Ford who was Obama's first ambassador to Syria saying U.S. has no national interest. But I think it's obvious that the Iranians and the Russians continue to prop up Bashar al-Assad. And remember, Trump going after the redline and all that. And we still have troops in Afghanistan and elsewhere. I don't understand what he's doing --

HEGSETH: Well, no, this is -- remember during the campaign, he ran on -- we've been nation-building in Middle East for too long. It's time to come home. This is an extension of that. The question is who fills that vacuum. And, Greg, I want to go to you. The --

GUTFELD: Oh, thank you. I was ready to go get a glass of water. HEGSETH: Dana said the wall, is it a nod to reality or is that a compromise? Did he give in to Nancy Pelosi? Are they winning on this?

GUTFELD: I don't know, too soon to tell. I want to take all these issues separately, OK? Number one --

PERINO: I like to put them all together.

GUTFELD: No, I'm going to put them -- number one, we all think this is big news because the really big news isn't happening, which means the country is in pretty good condition. We have low crime. We have a lot of optimism. So now, we have all these little things. And the reason why it's all about Trump is because the media makes it all about Trump. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If there was no Trump, God help us all, right? What would we be talking about?

Anyway, prison reform, OK? I kind of get the sense that this is the Ms. Congeniality award, right? This is like, oh, finally, something good. I have mixed feelings about this. I look and I think we're into our fourth decade of decline in violent crime. This is the safest society known to mankind. Do necessarily reform something that is this successful?

Having said that, I read the reforms. I think they're fairly moderate. I don't see anything -- it's affecting 10 percent of federal inmates -- 10 percent of the prison population. It's focusing on a portion of that. There's like 2,500 other prisoners that can apply for some kind of early release.

So, it's actually fairly small steps. The key is the training, right? To get these -- to get inmates to learn something, so that when they get out of prison they don't end up back in prison, and I think that's an important piece to this and that's the positive part about this.

But my overall observation on this is, you got criminal justice reform, you've got actual gun control, he banned bump stocks, we're pulling out of Syria, the deficit keeps growing, I'm pretty sure we have a progressive in office.

I mean, we've said this three years ago, Trump is a centrist. He's a pragmatist. You can't guess which way he's going to go. He's not an ideologue. It's weird to see the Democrats back to the wall. It's weird to see the Democrats not cooperating with this guy when he did prison reform, right? Well, he's pulling out of Syria. He wants the wall. What will he give you? He will give you what you want. So, it's clearly about being obstructionist. That's the Democrats. The Democrats are the law (ph).


WILLIAMS: Are you kidding? After Obama you now are going to say that it's the Democrats who are obstructionists?


WILLIAMS: That takes a lot --

(CROSSTALK) BILA: No, I think you're right though. I think he proves that he is willing to reach across the aisle --

HEGSETH: Syria might be part of that --

BILA: If you listen to him- -- if you listen to him campaigning, back in the day, this is the stuff he was saying. Everybody wants to paint him as an extremist because when it comes to the issue of immigration he's really hard on the wall and then securing the border. But on other issues, he will find --

WILLIAMS: I thought he said he was going to get rid of the deficit which has skyrocketed.

HEGSETH: The House freedom caucus will be on the floor tonight saying no deal on the wall here is a bad deal for the president --

GUTFELD: Trump is flipping people in their beliefs. So you have Democrats complaining about the deficit, and Republicans complaining about --

PERINO: But they did that to George Bush. It doesn't matter. It seems like whoever -- whichever president is in power, the out party --


GUTFELD: Yeah. I just think -- you know, the old news is you run it, you run to the right, govern in the middle. Clinton ran to the left and he govern in the middle. That's what's happening.

HEGSETH: We'll see. But the Syria wants a big one. Keep your eyes on that.


GUTFELD: He's -- I'll respond to that.

HEGSETH: -- that's going to be on him.

GUTFELD: It just may be that he doesn't want -- he doesn't -- he was like this with Iraq. He is stingy about American bloodshed.

HEGSETH: And for good reason.

WILLIAMS: How long have we been in Afghanistan? Oh.

PERINO: Wait for that if that announcement is coming.

GUTFELD: That's right.

HEGSETH: Well, Facebook facing a new backlash after yet another privacy scandal. What Facebook reportedly did with your data? Coming up ahead.


WILLIAMS: Facebook under fire again, a stunning report in the New York Times says the embattled social media giant gave other big tech companies much more access to your personal data than previously disclosed. Documents reportedly show it allowed companies like Netflix, Spotify, to read users private messages. And search engine, Bing, was able to see the names of almost all of user's friends without permission.

Facebook denying it did so without consent saying, quote, "To be clear, none of these partnerships or features gave companies access to information without people's permission, nor did they violate our 2012 settlement with the Federal Trade Commission." Greg, you keep up with this stuff, what do you think?

GUTFELD: OK. I want -- why is this happening? Facebook has been able to operate in this manner because of the permanent status as an unknown quantity, right? You can't actually define what it is, so it just keeps rolling along. And you know that old line, it's easier to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission. That's their mission statement because you don't know what they are. They just make the mistake and go whoops. That was an accident.

But, of the three major social media platforms, they're the least bad of the three. Google has turned your desires into a commodity. They're selling your searches to the highest bidder. They pretend to be a charity. Here, use our product, but then it's actually theft. They're stealing you and they're selling you.

And then, Twitter, you know, is a message board run by seriously stupid, naive people, you know, who basically operate solely on target shaming. Twitter is now designed to isolate and hurt people. So, of the three, I would say Twitter is the worst, number one, Google is second, and Facebook, you know, they're just making mistakes along the way.

WILLIAMS: All right. And, Dana, let's talk the politics of this because remember back in March, Facebook got in trouble for giving data to Cambridge Analytica that allegedly was used to help President Trump's campaign. They made a deal, they said to the Federal Trade Commission we're not going to mine this data without people's permission. But, if you know, you go on there, nobody reads these agreements when you go click agree, agree --

PERINO: I mean, that is -- the consumer is making a decision about that. And part of this is that Facebook is not a technology company. It started as one, right? But then, how are they going to make money? They make money by selling ads. What other kind of companies sell ads? Media companies sell ads.

And so, I think that, politically, that that's where this is headed. And it's going to come from the right and the left. This is where you might actually see a lot of bipartisanship. They have different issues. The right is concerned about some of the censorship issues. The left is going to say they're concerned about privacy.

But right now, at this moment, the Democrats are having a big fight about their list and who's going to be able to have access to it. Why? Because information about people is really important. Marketing, if you subscribe to a newspaper, guaranteed that you're on a list somewhere so that they know -- OK, you can share with others and that's how you -- the phone calls you used to get or things like that.

This also does remind me a little bit though of the NSA surveillance program that was -- everyone was up in arms. So, yes, it is possible that you could surveil everybody and everything and they could listen to all of your phone calls. But, you know what? They have a job to do, so they were looking for actual intel on things where they can prevent threats.

What do Spotify and Netflix and those guys need to do? They need to make money. So are they reading all of your personal messages because they really want to know, like something -- like deeply personal about you? I'm not saying that it's right. I just think this -- article is a little bit overwrought.

WILLIAMS: Well -- so, Pete, the thing is they do minor personal data in order to advertise to you. But, at the same time, they know everything about Pete. That's what Greg was saying. They could know every odd interest you have even that you don't --


GUTFELD: Perverted desire you search for, Pete.

WILLIAMS: Hey, are you kidding?

HEGSETH: Guilty.


HEGSETH: But then I said to that -- I say what alternative do -- does every other American have? I mean, really --

GUTFELD: There are new companies that you pay -- you pay to use, and they -- if your information is used, you get paid. That's the future.

HEGSETH: Great thing that is the future. I'm talking about alternatives to the usage of Facebook.


HEGSETH: Some people would do that, many won't. That's why most people throw their hands up on stories like this and go, I assume --


HEGSETH: -- got a lot of my data, not that I really want to do about it, but I really want to check on my grandchildren, I'm going to log back on and keep watching. So it doesn't have that -- to me, it's a censorship issue. I mean, Bibi Netanyahu's son who is a conservative just got banned from Facebook. If his son can get banned from Facebook, these guys are cooking the books on the algorithms to go after conservatives, it's only going to get worse. That to me is the concern, privacy is a big one too.

WILLIAMS: But if privacy is a big one.


WILLIAMS: So, Jedediah, I think that's where most people are. I understand your concern about -- if they're going after one political group and not another but we don't know for sure, but you worry about it. But privacy, I just think people who do what Pete was talking about, checking on the grandkids, don't think, oh, they're going to sell pictures of my grandkids and information about how often I contact or visit. People think that's wrong.

BILA: That's the thing, you don't know when you sign on to this site and you're looking at everything and family, you don't realize that that's stuff is being share with the third party. They're not transparent about it.

And when you said before about checking a box that says I agree, for example, that's not how it works a lot of times. A lot of times you're automatically plugged in to have your stuff shared. You have to go in and say I do not agree, and people don't realize that they have to opt out.

Facebook has been in trouble for a long time, not just for targeting ads and things to -- at one point, it was minors, it was like 14-year-olds and they got in trouble for that. But also, they used a bunch of people as test robots to see if they could manipulate your emotions at one point. This is -- I researched this for my book because this privacy stuff drives me crazy.

GUTFELD: You have a book?

BILA: Hashtag, do not disturb.


BILA: You'll be getting your check at the end --

GUTFELD: I love the chapter about Kyle.

BILA: Again, you've got to disrupt my train of thought.

GUTFELD: I know. Everybody read the chapter about Kyle in her book. What's the title of the book? Hashtag, do not disturb. It's a great book. Read the chapter about Kyle.

BILA: Anyway --


BILA: -- they manipulate people's emotions. They show you pictures, for example, of happy stuff and they say, well, is this going to make people respond by wanting to go vacation in Bermuda or whatever? Are we going to be able to manipulate the way they feel by showing them certain content or not? That's been going on for a long time. PERINO: But what -- it hasn't been different -- I just don't see how that's different from what advertisers have done forever.

BILA: I think it's different because people don't know it.

GUTFELD: But you know -- you know what? You should -- you should be paid if they're taking your --

PERINO: I'm OK with that.

GUTFELD: -- if they're taking you. And they are taking you.


GUTFELD: And they're targeting you. And you should have a choice.

PERINO: And the transparency.

BILA: And the transparency.

WILLIAMS: I just think it's more personal than ever, the kind of information they have that they know about you, Pete, and me, and Jedediah, is more extensive than ever.

GUTFELD: What about me, Juan? Think about the stuff I'm hiding.

WILLIAMS: Well, no. No --

BILA: We don't want to think about that.

GUTFELD: All the unicorn photos.

WILLIAMS: You are Mr. Transparent. Up next, could a new poll about political correctness cause trouble for Democrats looking to take on Trump in 2020? That's next, right here on The Five.



PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. And I don't frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest with you, this country doesn't have time either.


BILA: Well, a majority of Americans are now agreeing with President Trump that political correctness has gone too far. Fifty two percent now saying they're against the country becoming more P.C. and are upset that there are too many things that people can't say anymore. Should 2020 Democrats pay attention to this warning sign?

Greg, I say all the time I think this is one of the reasons he got elected. People are so tired of not been able to speak their minds, having to bite their tongues. It's the most dangerous time in the world to be a comedian. What do you think?


GUTFELD: I am alarmed, 52 percent is not a lot.


GUTFELD: It's not enough. And I saw it said 37 or 38 in favor, so there was some other middle ground there. Here's the danger about -- with the concept of political correctness is that it morphs. It's -- the whole point of it is that it's constantly changing and progressing over time. It expands like the blob.

So what happens is something that was acceptable two years ago is not acceptable now, so they dredge up things that you've said two years ago and throw it in your face. Position is a safety blanket, but now it's been spread over culture and it's suffocating real speech.

The only solution to this, and also if you -- the one scary thing about P.C., if you have a -- if you forgive somebody for doing something that's considered a violation of the P.C. thing, you're an accessory to the racism or sexism or homophobia or transphobia that has occurred. So you can't even -- P.C. thinking eliminates the concept of forgiveness, which is how our civilization is built on -- people making mistakes.

So, the solution here is -- and I've said before, people have to share the risk, right? Comedians, writers, artists, talk shows host. When they see somebody like Mika or whoever do something stupid, you don't take out the pitchforks and the torches. You forgive their apology and you move on because that's the only way that you're going to reduce the hysterical histrionics.

BILA: Yeah.

GUTFELD: Yes. That we now are paralyzed by companies in fear -- companies in fear because somebody's going to come after you. It's terrible.

BILA: But it's not just -- the challenge is it's not just fear of what you might say now. It's fear of what you may have ever said ever that now you have on Twitter and all that stuff. I actually thought -- I was impressed with the numbers just because when you look it's Republican men, women, Democratic men and women, all four of them are coming forth and saying they feel they can't speak their minds the way they used to, which means, at least, in everyone across party lines it's registering, like, hey, I've got to walk on eggshells here.

PERINO: Right. But I wonder what the age breakdown is. I would love to see that -- the cross tab on that because I imagine that if people like maybe us and older --

BILA: It's over 30, actually.

PERINO: Right. It's over 30. OK. So --

GUTFELD: There's a lot of young kids who don't believe in freedom of speech.

HEGSETH: That's right.

GUTFELD: They're scary.

HEGSETH: That's your point.

PERINO: They don't like that.

HEGSETH: Those who -- there were more -- in favor of more P.C. where Democrats, adults under 30, African-Americans, and small cities --

PERINO: So -- and so it's interesting when you're talking about for reelection. Should Democrats think about that?

BILA: Yeah.

PERINO: Well, yeah, maybe for this term, this 2020 election. But in 2024, millennials are now the largest voting group. They're surpassing baby boomers. The Generation X is pretty small. And, unfortunately, you can't tell a joke to a millennial.


PERINO: I mean, it's pretty funny that they think that The Office is hilarious, right? Because that's kind of non-P.C.


BILA: Isn't there a difference, though, between cultural sensitivity and cultural hypersensitivity? Like you can be sensitive without going so far that is preposterous.

HEGSETH: Of course, I watch episodes of "The Office" now, which I love, and I say they would never air that today.


HEGSETH: Ever again. To your point about the evolving blob, it never stops.

Now, Trump has served as a huge shield for a lot of people who felt stifled. They're like, "He can stand up and say, 'Pocahontas.' He can say it. I can say it." Culture should introduce it. We should be OK with it.

To me, problem is only the surface of -- speech is only the surface of the problem. It's the institutions that then institutionalize that. So your K-12 public schools and your colleges, and your elite media, and your churches, and your movies, and your social media. Pretty soon, now you're litigating Christmas and the flag, and you wondered, "How did I get here?"

BILA: Right.

HEGSETH: And it's been totally infected (ph) on the left, Juan, I'll say: 55 percent of those identified as Democrats favor more political correctness.


HEGSETH: So your party is saying, "We want more of this."

WILLIAMS: Well, but listen for a second. Think about it. What you see is the strongest proponents of we're too politically correct are white men, older white men. It's unbelievable. It's like two-thirds of them say, "Oh, this political correctness is terrible. It stinks."

But then you start asking about people who have been denigrated in the past, like blacks, and they say, "Oh, no. You know, we -- we don't like it."

And not only that, it's so interesting to me. Seventy percent in this poll said things are worse in terms of civility under President Trump. That Trump has now emboldened people to say whatever they want about whoever they want.

HEGSETH: Yes, but I would say African-Americans should have the ability to -- black Americans should have the ability to be offensive and politically incorrect, too. I mean, ultimately, that --

GUTFELD: That's the only way forward. Everybody should have the right to be offensive.


GUTFELD: Everybody should have the right to be insulted and to insult. If you take the opposite tack and say, "My feelings need to be protected," that's an impossibility across the board. Not everybody can be protected. And you will have these issues and the divisiveness. But if everybody said, "You can offend me as much as you want, and I can offend you," we are equals. We're brothers.

PERINO: And we should take Dan Crenshaw's example.


PERINO: Remember, Dan Crenshaw goes on "Saturday Night Live." Now they're friends, I guess. He and Pete Davidson.

BILA: Right.

PERINO: He's trying to help him out when he's in a tough time. And everyone said,, "Oh, that's the model that we should follow." So let's just -- let's do that.

BILA: Everyone says that and then does the opposite. Or you defend your team --


BILA: -- but when it's somebody on the other side, then you've got to -- you know.

WILLIAMS: But I think it's progress, and we need to stop bullying and name-calling, demonizing other people. I don't like --


GUTFELD: The left never does that.

WILLIAMS: I don't want to be overly sensitive. Let me be clear.

PERINO: You can make jokes about --

WILLIAMS: But I don't think it's good that, you know, back in the '50s you could say this about a woman. And say --

GUTFELD: We're talking about -- I'm talking about language. I am talking about the -- silencing language on campus. I'm talking about how it's spreading into a dangerous place. You wrote a book on this.

WILLIAMS: Yes, yes, I don't like political correctness. I'm a big free speech advocate.


WILLIAMS: But do I think, for example, you and I talking about gay people is different in 2018 than it would have been in 2000? Yes, Greg. I think it's --

GUTFELD: Absolutely.

WILLIAMS: -- probably good.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, I would agree.

BILA: Hundred percent. All right. Well, package thieves mess with the wrong guy. The sparkly surprise that has porch pirates retreating. Coming up next.


GUTFELD: What's Christmas without some vigilante justice?

Around this time, the media floods the airwaves with sentimental dreck designed to ease the guilt of self-obsessed hosts who, for one moment, take 30 seconds to coo about giving back before they go home and scream at the maid. I've described everyone.

Which is why I go out of my way to find Christmas stories that do the opposite. Like this one. It stars former NASA engineer Mark Rober, who decided to punish people who stole packages from his front porch.

Using his extensive background devising unusual machines, he booby-trapped some fake packages and then left them outside for thieves to take. These harmless but highly devious packages contain exploding packets of very fine glitter, as well as a stink bomb that goes off after the glitter explodes.

Also inside, he has camera phones that will capture the mayhem. So like clockwork, after putting the packages out on a few porches, they were stolen. And this is what happened.





UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look in my car, dude. Everything.


GUTFELD: Now, that's a Christmas gift that keeps on giving. I could watch that forever.

But more important, it's a gift with a lesson. A risk of punishment can reduce crime, especially if you think the package you steal might blow up in your face.

And that's my Christmas -- that makes my Christmas a little bit brighter. Sometimes a lump of coal can bring a little light and joy to our holidays.

BILA: Genius.

GUTFELD: Isn't that great?

PERINO: I love it.

GUTFELD: Now, do you think, Dana, that he could be sued for that?



PERINO: I hope not.

GUTFELD: I don't know. What --

PERINO: Oh, my God. Maybe in California.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I love this, though, because it's like now people will -- they'll think twice about opening a package.

HEGSETH: The credible threat of being glittered.


HEGSETH: Like, that's what it takes.

GUTFELD: That's what it takes.

HEGSETH: I wonder how much this may --

PERINO: That guy's car is destroyed.

GUTFELD: You can't get glitter -- I for a fact know that you can't get glitter out. Once it's there, it's there.

BILA: I know.

GUTFELD: Because you can't -- you can't -- even a vacuum, you can't get it out. It's terrible.


BILA: Why do you have so much experience with glitter?

GUTFELD: Well, I used to strip part time.

BILA: Oh, makes sense. That's what I was thinking.

GUTFELD: Yes, back in the "Red Eye" days. I had to make ends meet, so to speak.

Juan --


GUTFELD: -- crime is always --

WILLIAMS: Don't mention me in connection with it, because I just happened to be watching when you started. I left. I left the party at that point.

GUTFELD: You know, this is kind of like -- you know how people have alarm systems, stickers on their windows or NRA logo or "Beware of Dog."


GUTFELD: This is kind of a way to dissuade crime. Like -- I like what this guy is trying to do.

WILLIAMS: Yes, I love it. But you know what? The real disincentive would be your neighbors.


WILLIAMS: And what I'm seeing is that lots of older people who are home during the day are now the anti-porch pirates.


WILLIAMS: Because they have cameras on their cell phones.


WILLIAMS: And they will watch for you.

Now, my wife, for example, is home a lot. So then the kids tell her to come over, because they're having a package delivered or they have the package delivered to our house so they don't put anything out there for the porch pirates.

GUTFELD: This is -- this is the downside of Amazon delivery. Or something ends (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

I want to show you some tape, Jedediah. Take a look at this tape. This is a man trying to steal a -- look at this. This is pretty brazen.

BILA: Wow.

GUTFELD: A flat-screen TV. But whoops, he falls.


GUTFELD: And but you know what, through a lot of effort, he still tries, and then he has a hard time getting it up and over into the car.


GUTFELD: I believe his name is Kyle. And he's trying to get it in there.

PERINO: Oh, my gosh.

GUTFELD: And it's not working out.

HEGSETH: It's not working out.

GUTFELD: I think -- is that a flat-screen? Or is that --

WILLIAMS: Yes, flat-screen TV.

BILA: Wow, you've got to have some nerve. Middle of the day.

GUTFELD: Middle of the day.

BILA: Cars passing by. That's somebody with --

GUTFELD: Look at it, he's trying to get it in there.

BILA: He's acting like he picked it up from the Home Depot like he's just -- like nothing happened.

GUTFELD: Look at it -- what's he going to do? And you know what? Nobody -- like, there's nobody there.

WILLIAMS: Yes, that's the problem.

PERINO: Probably everybody works and goes to school.

HEGSETH: I mean, at this point, you've got to slow down and make it look like you're the homeowner.

GUTFELD: Right. You know what, he's working so hard. Imagine if he had worked that hard on a job.

PERINO: He could have bought his own.

WILLIAMS: I don't know. I think a lot of people just don't have any ethics and think they can take advantage. Look at it. He ends up driving with -- the door is open. The door is open.

GUTFELD: They will be able to get his license plate.

BILA: No shame.

WILLIAMS: By the way, I want to delight you by telling you that San Francisco, Seattle and Minneapolis, No. 1 for porch pirates. I know you don't like San Francisco.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, you know.

HEGSETH: Minneapolis.

GUTFELD: You know what? There are other things on porches in San Francisco that they're dealing with. Porch poo.

All right. Did I already ask you, Jedediah?

BILA: No, it's all right. You're too busy talking about Kyle.

GUTFELD: Kyle, yes. Everybody should buy Jedediah's book. It's fantastic. Read about Kyle.

Stay right there. "Wild Card Wednesday" is next.


PERINO: And now a brand-new edition of this.

GUTFELD: I do not attack you.



GRAPHIC: Wild Card Wednesday


GUTFELD: I did not attack you.

PERINO: We each chose a topic and put them in this hat. No of us know the stories each other picked. But it's going to be fun.

OK, so we each have a topic here. And I'm going to pull one out.

OK. Man sentenced after video showed him entering a convenience store with a live alligator. Take a look at this video of this guy. Right? So he takes this alligator through.

HEGSETH: I remember when this video came out.

PERINO: Were you here?

HEGSETH: I think I was.

WILLIAMS: No. You were on "FOX & Friends."

PERINO: He got sentence. He pleaded no contest to one count of animal cruelty and two counts of fish and wildlife conservation violations.

GUTFELD: What did you call him?

PERINO: Spent two days in jail for a charge -- run concurrently with each other. I think we have some video of that.


HEGSETH: Here he is chasing people around with a reptile, even going into the --



PERINO: Oh, yes, that was -- were you here for that, Pete?

HEGSETH: I don't know. Maybe it was "FOX & Friends."

WILLIAMS: No, you would remember.

HEGSETH: I remember the video.

PERINO: He got some punishment. Rightly so.

BILA: God. That poor alligator.

HEGSETH: Six days, it sounds like.

GUTFELD: Don't say poor alligator!

PERINO: The people!

BILA: That alligator is being mistreated, clearly.

GUTFELD: Oh, my goodness. He would eat you first.

BILA: Used as a pawn.

PERINO: He pleaded no contest to one count of animal cruelty, in her defense.

GUTFELD: Whose story was that?

PERINO: That was mine.

GUTFELD: Fantastic.

PERINO: Let's choose another one here. Fresh Prince star Alfonso Ribeiro sues Epic Games Fortnite over alleged use of the Carlton dance.


PERINO: Whose is this?

WILLIAMS: Mine. OK, so take a look. Here he is. You can see this is Fresh Prince. And then, on the right side there, you can see what the video games are doing. GUTFELD: But Carlton is stolen from Courteney Cox from the Bruce Springsteen.

PERINO: Concert.

GUTFELD: Remember?

PERINO: "Friends."

GUTFELD: Something with fire. "You can't start a fire" song, whatever.

WILLIAMS: He was dancing. He did it both places. So he thinks it's his dance, Greg.

HEGSETH: Is it a copyrighted dance?

WILLIAMS: Well, no, but it's identified with him, and they're not paying him anything for taking his moves.

GUTFELD: "Dancing in the Dark."

PERINO: How do you think this is going to go? Is he going to get some money?

GUTFELD: Can you trademark dance moves?

BILA: He made that dance famous.

PERINO: I don't know. Do you want to try one?

HEGSETH: I can't do the Carlton. I would do it if I -- I can do the floss. I've got kids.

WILLIAMS: You can do the floss?

PERINO: You can do the floss?

WILLIAMS: Do it, man.

GUTFELD: No, don't.


GUTFELD: This is something that will always be played. This is going to be replayed.

WILLIAMS: There you go.

BILA: What's happening?

WILLIAMS: There you go. That's great.

GUTFELD: This isn't "FOX & Friends." We don't try to do any activities.

PERINO: All right, all right. Here's the next one. This is exactly how long you have to make a good first impression. A new study finds you have 27 seconds, with 70 percent of people forming a first impression of someone before they even speak.

BILA: That's mine, and I think 27 seconds is too long. I found my first - - five seconds I have you all figured out. You've got to have the eye contact. You've got to smell good. You've got to -- there's a lot of pressure. But don't you think 20 - 27 seconds, by that time I'm either bored --

GUTFELD: To me, it's always going to be about breath. That's the first thing that hits you.


GUTFELD: And it's like -- and you know what? It doesn't matter how attractive somebody is or anything. If there's a breath issue, you just have to, like, walk away.

WILLIAMS: You know, smell was not on that list, but you said it, Jedediah.

BILA: It is. It is. It's one of the top contributors.

WILLIAMS: Oh, it is? I didn't see it there. I don't -- I mean, most people don't have bad breath, so that's not a fearful --

GUTFELD: You'd be surprised.

PERINO: If you're our height, you notice it a lot.

HEGSETH: I always give people the benefit of the doubt too much. So it might be --

PERINO: You're so nice. Your problem is you're too nice.

GUTFELD: You're minutes from me.

HEGSETH: We're like, "Oh" --

GUTFELD: That can be a problem for you, Pete.

PERINO: All right. Here's one more. Inside the CIA's top-secret CIA otter dossier. A newly-classified file from the CIA's project MKU Ultra -- MK Ultra isn't about dosing unsuspecting people with LSD. Instead, it's about otters. Is this yours, Greg?

GUTFELD: Yes. So I picked this so we could just show tape of otters. But instead, we're showing the dossier.

OK. Otters are -- the CIA was going to test otters, because otters are amazing animals.

WILLIAMS: Slow down, slow down. Otters. Test them by giving them drugs?

GUTFELD: No, no, no. They were testing them for, like -- like, for spying because they can move. They can swim. They can get on the ground. The only problem is they don't like to be held captive.

But they're incredibly lovable. They're almost -- they could be domesticated if they -- if they could stay in one place. But they're very friendly.

BILA: Animal cruelty. Animal cruelty, Greg.

PERINO: I have time for one more. "Popeyes" launches emotional support chicken carrier at Philadelphia Airport for a limited time. You can -- Oh, my gosh. An emotional support chicken carrier.

GUTFELD: There it is. Right there.

PERINO: When you purchase a three-piece chicken tender combo. You love this, Pete.

HEGSETH: I think, because I think the proliferation of emotional support animals that are not just, like, dogs, it's out of control.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

HEGSETH: Like, emotional support --

PERINO: Alligators.

HEGSETH: -- alligators and guinea pigs and rabbits. And everyone's got something on the plane now. So you can eat dead, fried -- you can take dead fried chicken for your emotional support.


BILA: You guys are Debbie Downers, man. Debbie Downers.

GUTFELD: It is a scam for a lot -- I mean, there are people that really need it, but there are people that get scammed.

You know, my friend, the comedian Andrew Schultz, he orders chicken omelets so he can enjoy two generations.

PERINO: Oh, yes, I get that. Although I don't know. You can put chicken salsa.

HEGSETH: I never heard of that. That's amazing.

GUTFELD: A terrible, terrible idea.

PERINO: I think we better go. "One More Thing" is up next.


HEGSETH: Welcome back. It is time now for "One More Thing." Dana, you're up.

PERINO: So one of my favorite things at the end of the year is to look at Poynter's list of the best corrections, the best newspaper corrections. So I've got three for you here.

Here's one from The Veja, had to correct this. "A correction for the ages, by Brazilian news magazine, 'The candidate likes to spend his free time reading Tolstoy and not watching Toy Story, as originally reported." OK, they got that one wrong. They corrected it.

OK, here's another one, The Wall Street Journal, "An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated Benjamin Netanyahu said Moses brought water from Iraq. He said the water was brought from a rock."

OK, the Morning Star correction come: "In yesterday's paper in Chris Searle's jazz albums column, we incorrectly referred to Don Rendell as a 'terrorist' when it clearly should have been, 'tenorist.' We apologize for any offense."

Those are fun.

GUTFELD: Corrections are fun.


HEGSETH: Try to do better.

GUTFELD: I will. It's time for --

GRAPHIC: Greg's Plugs

GUTFELD: -- "Greg's Plugs." Those aren't my hair. It's just a funny thing.

OK. We've got an all-new "One Smart Person and Greg Gutfeld" up at FOX Nation. The smart person is evolutionary behavioral sciences Dr. Gad Saad. And we discussed all sorts of stuff, from evolutionary theory to political correctness. You will love it!

Also, I'm so excited. Chris Elliott has a new movie out. It's called, "Clara's Ghost." Why is this movie important? It starts his entire family, and it's filmed inside their house. And the plot is, his wife only sees a ghost that they can't see.

And it's actually brilliant that it's -- So he decided he wanted to make a movie but he wanted -- he didn't want to leave his house or get out of bed and have to go somewhere. So they just filmed the whole thing. And it premieres this month. It's on demand and in theaters. It's called "Clara's Ghost." Chris Elliott, a legend. A legend, and his wife is the star of it.

PERINO: Amazing.

WILLIAMS: Pretty cool.


WILLIAMS: So this is for Greg. You know about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and his fellow reindeer clambering on your rooftop. Well, what about Yogi Bear showing up for Christmas at your front door? Yes!

Take a look at this video, Greg. Because that's exactly what happened in Naples, Florida.




GUTFELD: That bear is in Naples, Florida? What's with Alec Baldwin? Very hairy.

HEGSETH: He rang the doorbell.

GUTFELD: Very polite bear.

WILLIAMS: Anyway, the curious bear knocks down the Christmas decoration, chews off the wooden snowman's head, and rings the front doorbell with his nose.

But as you heard, the homeowner saw the bear from the front door security camera. He told the bear to go away. Thankfully, the bear did. No damage done. The bear was no porch pirate, by the way. He didn't take anything, Greg; didn't get glitter or a stink bomb.

GUTFELD: No glitter for that bear.


BILA: It was just hungry.

GUTFELD: Stop it, he'll tear you to pieces.


HEGSETH: The whole ring thing can get very addictive, too.

WILLIAMS: You watch people at your front door?

HEGSETH: Yes, it's not good. And alerts come up all day, and you're looking at it. You're like, I should be working, and I'm watching the FedEx guy.


HEGSETH: Jedediah.

BILA: All right. I have a video of a child that reminds me a lot of myself when I was a child. I got a bad reputation, but check this out, and then we'll talk about it.




BILA: All right, so this little kid decides he doesn't want to take part in the Christmas performance, he doesn't do it. He lays down on the floor. You know what? Maybe he's shy. I did that all the time. I got a lot of heat for it. I wasn't big into hanging out with other kids. I just kind of wanted to observe and watch, so you've got to respect the child. Look how cute he is.

GUTFELD: That was a terrible video.

BILA: He doesn't want this. I didn't choose the video.

GUTFELD: You didn't -- yes. Whoever River gave that to you. It's like, there's nothing happened in that video. No action, no animals, no nothing. Fun.

BILA: But it's a cute kid, and it's Christmas.

GUTFELD: I didn't think it was cute at all! It was -- yes, kind of. Like you wouldn't do this on "FOX & Friends." The Christmas programs reveal little kid's natural state very, very well.

GUTFELD: Interesting.

HEGSETH: Let's just roll the video. I like the video. I thought it was kind of interesting. Watch.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look at this. Look at this.


GUTFELD: This, Jedediah, is a a real video.




PERINO: Wait, that is terrifying.

HEGSETH: It's a high-speed chase in Cumberland County, Maine. This driver stopped, because clearly, this guy has been speeding. They put down a strip of nails or whatever.

GUTFELD: They shouldn't have done this. They shouldn't have done a strip in a crowded street.

HEGSETH: That's what I thought. Why are you lining the street with cars?

PERINO: You're like Jesse, always showing ones where people are getting hurt.

HEGSETH: It's just -- I've watched it on a loop, and everyone was OK.

GUTFELD: Happy ending. And a lawsuit.

HEGSETH: That's right.

Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report," up next.

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