This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 4, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling and Greg Gutfeld.
It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."
PERINO: A temporary seven-hour cease-fire in the Middle East is over and now reports Israel and Palestinian agreed moments ago to a new 72-hour one to take its place. Israel has resumed targeted strikes in Gaza after allowing some humanitarian aid in today. Hamas has also been firing missiles and our Sean Hannity knows firsthand because he's in Israel and heard the Iron Dome go off this morning to intercept the rockets. Sean is joining us from outside Tel Aviv, at an Iron Dome battery.
Sean, can you give us some perspective of what you've seen just in 12 hours since you arrived.
SEAN HANNITY, HOST OF "HANNITY": Dana, I got to tell you. It's an amazing experience, what it must be like day-to-day for everybody here in Israel and what they face. You know, in the course of our entire team being here, we counted some, at least 50 red alerts that came up, in other words, where rockets are being fired. You know, in the middle of the cease-fire that was taking place earlier today, we were at another Iron Dome -- location remember, there's nine of them that literally cover the entire state of Israel and preventing rockets from landing in population zones.
But at one point, while the cease-fire supposedly today was in effect, literally we heard an Iron Dome go off and take one of those missiles out of the sky. We not only were at the Iron Dome, we literally went to the border of Gaza today. We spent a lot of time, one of the more fascinating things beyond the work of the Iron Dome and how successful it is, we learned a lot and we'll show this on "HANNITY" tonight where literally nine separate areas protect the entire country. They are synchronized as soon as a rocket is fire they will talk to each other via computer and they'll determine where that rocket they expect will land and then make, the computers will make a determination whether to take it out of the sky or whether they think it's going to hit an unpopulated area.
Then, we move to right where the border is and we actually had time today to go into one of the tunnels that Hamas built. What was amazing about this is at least 50, 60 feet underground. There was Israeli excavation around this tunnel, Dana, and then you get inside and I think you're running some B roll of it right now. It looks small the area you see going in right now, but when you finally get inside there, I'm six feet tall, I only had to go down a little bit. It literally if you're 5'10," you could walk in that tunnel and not have to worry about dropping your head at all. It goes on for miles.
Here's the other interesting part -- those tunnels are reinforced with concrete, the ceiling, the ground. You have literally tracks so that they can bring things in and out of those tunnels meaning where the terrorists go through and goes all the way into Gaza.
We walked and walked and walked and there was no end in sight. But that concrete and the lighting that is inside the tunnel literally is given by Israel to the Palestinians so they are supposed to build hospitals and schools and homes and infrastructure and yet it's being used for terror.
The other big thing that we saw immediately when we came out of the tunnel being on the Gaza border we ran into the IDF and they just accomplished the mission and they were pulling back a little bit from Gaza. I spent time with them talking about what it's like to live under the threat, why they are out there fighting, how important it is from their perspective to get rid of the infrastructure that's the Hamas tunnels and rockets and what they are dealing with on the front line.
So, it's a pretty amazing day in just the short time we've been here.
PERINO: Let me ask you first, Sean, before we take it around the table. Given that you've talked to a few people, I don't know how many different types -- I know you talked to Israelis, any of the Palestinians there. Can you give us a sense of the mood from your perspective on the ground?
HANNITY: You know, it's funny. Dana, it's such a great question, because on one hand, it's like life is normal. People are in their cars. They're driving around. They're going to eat. We went out to eat for 10 minutes today. That's about how much time we had in our course of our day.
You go into a restaurant. Sirens start blaring. I happen to be in the bathroom at the time that sirens blared. That's the shelter inside of that particular restaurant. Yet everybody comes in there, a lot of IDF people in there and then they go outside. So, for the 15 seconds that they got to get into a secure area, they do it.
Here was the more chilling thing that I saw, Dana. There was a playground we came early in the day and our cameras caught this and we'll show this tonight, where there's a playground and surrounding the entire perimeter of that playground you literally have shelters where the kids are supposed to go as soon as they hear the sirens go off. I think we might have video.
And it doesn't look like much. Those shelters are above ground and that's where the kids go. As they're playing, they are taught. That's life for the average Israeli.
And it's not just this latest battle that they are having with Hamas. This has pretty much gone for years now, which is why every Israel that I've run into is pretty much committed to saying they've got to destroy the infrastructure that Hamas has built.
Now, the one tunnel I saw is one of what they believe is at least a hundred that have been dug in the time here. So, we learned an awful lot about what the political mood is, how committed people are to breaking and defeating that infrastructure. PERINO: All right. Eric?
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hey, Sean. So, the Israeli people, the IDF, Bibi Netanyahu, the resolve is strong, somewhere around 90 percent acceptance of what's going on within Israel. But when the U.N. starts pointing the finger, the White House starts pointing the finger, and then some of the left wing media in the United States starts pointing the finger at Israel, does that change the resolve of the people you're running into whether it's the military or the regular Israeli folks?
HANNITY: You know, Eric, another great question. I'm not saying this because you all are my friends here, but you're raising a great question. We talked specifically about that school. The people that the Israelis have targeted, they don't know who had the bombs but they believe they had explosives.
That was their take on all of this. They were taking out legitimate military targets that they believe were Islamic jihad, or more radical wing associated with Hamas that, again, were trying to bring war to Israel.
As far as the politics of all this goes, it's very interesting. There's a lot of disappointment. I can say in the administration. I'm not going to get too political today while I'm here, but there's a feeling that America has always been by Israelis side should have a greater sense of moral clarity as it relates to who are the good guys and who are the bad guys here, 3,000 rockets.
One of the things I tried to do, Eric, since I've been here, is put myself in the position of all the people that live here. If this is the United States of America and it's 3,000 rockets being fired into our country on any given day, every day, and you got this infrastructure and tunnel system designed so terrorists can come in and kidnap and terrorize the people of our country, I think we'd expect a very different response.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, there's another cease-fire, Sean, which in Hamas means Monday. Is anybody taking this one seriously?
HANNITY: You know, Eric, between what happened last Friday and while we were on the air, when I got here today, supposedly I was on "FOX & FRIENDS," this morning and supposedly we were in the middle of a cease-fire and we heard in the distance an Iron Dome take out a missile that was fired. So I'm not sure anybody has any faith in any cease-fires that are being built here.
I know the Israelis have agreed to all of them. In every case, though, I would make a strong argument that Hamas broke it. I don't think Hamas wants peace.
And I'll tell you what, when you see the intricacies of these tunnels, Greg, and you see the amount of detail and engineering, it's an engineering feat that they have had. Imagine 50, 60, 70 feet below ground and there's at least 40, maybe as many as 100 designed to get into Israel and attack the Israelis. That's a pretty strong commitment towards war, if you ask me.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Yes, hi, Sean, it's great to see you. I think you're doing a great job.
HANNITY: Hi, K.G.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. So, I want to ask you just some of the perspective, perhaps you're getting there that maybe if people had the opportunity to go to Israel like you have done, do you think it would change their minds and their opinion about Israel because they've had a tough time, the Israelis have, of garnering international support on their behalf.
HANNITY: You know, I got to believe K.G., that it would change your mind because when you hear these sirens day in and day out every day, and you know that that's another rocket being fired, you know, the only thing I would say to the American people forget what my politics are or your politics happen to be or even Bob Beckel's politics or Juan Williams' politics -- imagine an American city having sirens blaring, having 15 seconds to get to a bomb shelter to protect you and your family. Imagine if you had an elderly grandparent that was living with you or maybe you had two or three young children that you had to get into that bomb shelter and you have 15 seconds to do it.
I've got to imagine the American response would be liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat, is that you want to find the people that are putting you in that position. You want to deal with them in a pretty significant way and put an end to that threat.
I think that's Israel's argument. The fact that there's world condemnation of Israel, it's a little hard to grasp actually. You know, to me, one of the reasons, main reason I wanted to come here, K.G., is that I feel everything is up and down here. Like up is down and down is up and black is white and white is black, and there seems to be no moral clarity.
There's a victim here. There's those that initiated war and those that are defending their homeland.
You know, one thing -- if you look at the terrain here and I went through this as I was researching on the plane on the way over on El-Al, you know, it's about 8,000 square miles we're talking about in terms of actual space in Israel. You know, you compare that to the U.S., it's 3.8 million square miles. It's roughly size of New Jersey and it's surrounded by some, what, 22 or so Arab nations, many of which are enemies of Israel, and many of which have come out publicly in many occasions sworn to its destruction. Add to that, terror groups, Islamic jihad, Hamas, Hezbollah, you know, the Muslim Brotherhood, ISIS, al Qaeda, and then you add Iran to the equation, which I would say is fighting proxy wars and funding a lot of the battles against Israel for a long time.
It is a significant enemy against a really small geographic area that we're talking about and it's their job to defend their homeland. And one of the reasons -- I talked to a lot of young kids, 20-year-old girls that are serving in the IDF. I say, what do you think of your service? Their answer is, yes, I rather be living the life of a 20-year-old out having fun, going to university but it is about saving my country from destruction and about the enemies that are sworn to wipe us off the map.
It's a real clear present danger in the mind of everybody here.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Hey, Sean, let me ask you a question. We know most of these missiles come from the Iranians and from Syria. The thousands and how thousands and thousands of them, some of them are made in Gaza, those are not the high caliber missiles.
How do they get in there? I mean, do they come through Egypt? They certainly don't come in off the Mediterranean because the Israelis got that blocked off pretty well. They don't come through Israel. So, I assume the only way they can get there is through Egypt.
HANNITY: You know, it's hard to say. I know there's been different blockade, Bob, that have been found. Their -- this terror network that we're talking about, even different terror networks that have their own personal disagreements, they agree on one thing, is that they hate Israel, believe that it ought to be destroyed and don't think that Israel has a right to exist.
Where the weapons are coming from? For example, when Nancy Pelosi -- and I'm not trying to make an argument. When she said, well, the Qataris tell me they are a humanitarian group -- well, the Hamas charter calls for the obliteration of Israel. So, the Qataris are helping to fund the effort to give the Hamas and other terror groups the weaponry. And, certainly, Iran I think is the epicenter of a lot of instability in the Middle East.
BECKEL: Sean --
HANNITY: I think they fought proxy wars for years.
BECKEL: Fast follow up. Are these tunnels, the way these missiles get in? However they get into Gaza, they take them into the tunnels and bring them that way?
HANNITY: Bob, I literally walked down a slope. There was a woman coming up this slope and she couldn't get up. I literally walked halfway down the slope, I grabbed her hand, another press person and I walked her up. It goes down 50, 60 feet fully excavated, and then it opens up into the ground.
Now, we have the entrance of the tunnel and then you see how sophisticated it is on the screen. We'll show everybody about it tonight. I mean, when you think about the amount of manpower, money, infrastructure put into something like that that's only one of what they believe is 100. So, these are tunnels of war. Yes, I think the answer to your question is certainly that's a possibility. Absolutely.
PERINO: All right. Thank you, Sean. We're going to have to leave it there. You can catch "HANNITY" at 10:00 p.m. Eastern, a special hour from Israel tonight. Don't miss that.
Next on "The Five," the politics get more heated as the White House and State Department ratchet up their criticism of Israel over the weekend. Details coming up.
GUILFOYLE: The Obama administration keeps saying it stands with Israel and its war on terror, but it's also doling out plenty of criticism of the offensive. So, where does it really stand?
Here's White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett condemning Israel's actions in Gaza over the weekend.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VALERIE JARETT, WHITE HOUSE SENIOR ADVISER: We're Israel's staunchest ally, but you can't condone of the killing of these innocent children. So, we're very concerned. We're monitoring the situation closely.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki went further, issuing a statement saying the U.S. was appalled by the shelling of a U.N. school, calling it, quote, "disgraceful."
She was asked about those comments this morning, and doubled down.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEN PSAKI, STATE DEPARTMENT SPOKESWOMAN: The sign a strong relationship is being able to speak out and convey concerns when we have them. There's more that Israel can do to hold themselves to their own standards. We're saying they need to hold themselves to their own standards and do more here in Gaza.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUILFOYLE: OK. That to me sounds like condemnation of Israel and not a clear understanding of what exactly is going on here, Dana. What do you think?
PERINO: Well, I'm trying, I'm imagining that that what Jen is trying to do, Jen Psaki, and Valerie Jarrett, they are representing the president of the United States. OK. This is the president of the United States and State Department down at Foggy Bottom, trying to figure out a way that they can thread the needle -- your favorite raise, Greg's most hated phrase for the day -- and try to put pressure on Israel while also trying to act like a defender of Israel.
I agree. I thought that was a good point that she made a sign of a strong relationship is where you can criticize. However, I do think it's more helpful to criticize in private because they are already walking down a very shaky path and underneath them is a lot of anger on the Israeli side. Benjamin Netanyahu, the prime minister of Israel, has something like an 83 percent approval rating for activities there, and as everyone starts to go to their corners and you noticed today with the cease-fire that was announced, it's really the outlines of the Egyptian plan that Israel originally wanted before John Kerry came forward and had the one that Hamas liked.
So, I actually think that now maybe the United States is playing less of an important role than it should be, but that might be OK.
GUILFOYLE: Well, Eric, how about this juxtaposition for you? At one hand, you had Jen Psaki and others making this strong statement, criticizing Israel, as Dana said, they're trying to thread the need there.
However, look on the other side. You have King Abdullah, the Saudi king, issuing a very strongly-worded statement on the behalf of Israel. You also have Egypt lining up with Israel. Look at the positioning here compared to the United States.
BOLLING: We talked about that. I think we agree that any sort of real cease-fire, any sort of peace in this region would have to come from an Egypt negotiated position. Egypt offered at any time first time, Hamas said no. The fighting started again. Here's another Egyptian attempt. It may work.
Let's not forget Psaki and the State Department and White House, that this -- one side of these are terrorists, one is our ally, the other side are terrorists. You can't negotiate with terrorists. They don't care about life, their life, our life, Israelis lives, they don't care about lives. Their goal -- Hamas' goal is for an Islamic state standing over the rubble of every other religion.
So, once you understand that, there should be no negotiation. Bibi Netanyahu says this, demilitarize Gaza and we can have a deal. Here's the $64,000 question right here. Do the Palestinian people in Gaza still back Hamas? And if they don't, it's time for them to stand up and get Hamas out of their Palestinian government and move on and negotiate a demilitarized Hamas and everyone in the region will be a lot safer.
GUILFOYLE: Well, the people and Hamas, of course, are suffering as well. But however, do they have the political force, the military strength, the wherewithal, the sustenance to be able to seriously take a shot and challenge at Hamas, realistically?
BOLLING: Who is -- who?
GUILFOYLE: The people in Gaza. Yes.
BOLLING: No, no. Just -- no support anywhere. Hamas, we don't support what you're doing any more. They really need to figure out a way to tell the world, tell the Egyptians, that the people -- the Palestinians in Gaza are done with Hamas and then peace can, somewhat peace can happen in the region.
GUILFOYLE: Can that happen, Bob?
BECKEL: Well, it's difficult. It's a complicated situation. I'm glad to see the Egyptians moving in, if this 72-hour cease-fire holds. It does make sense that this comes from an Arab country. And Egypt has been -- it's the only two countries in that region that have diplomatic relations with Israel.
And so, I think this one may hold. The last thing I think you need is John Kerry to be over there.
With all due respect to Kerry, he's not -- I mean, he's sort of patrician kind of guy that doesn't look to me like a kind of guy that ought to be brokering deals. Now having said that, there's a case to be made and I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think it's time to do that, that Israel is very good militarily. They can target very well. I think there was a way to avoid bombing this U.N. school, even if you had to take some hits for it.
You know you're going stir up world opinion even more by doing that. So, at some point, there had to be lot of other targets besides a U.N. school because you knew as soon as you hit the U.N. school, you were going to get condemned around the world. And that's to me, if Israel had -- sure they thought it through and I'm sure there were assets they wanted to get rid of. But there were other assets everywhere that you need to get rid off, and I'm not so sure picking on a school is the right way to do it.
GUTFELD: We -- I think somebody said earlier, no one condones this kind of suffering. That is untrue. Around the globe, what you often see is expresses of joy over the suffering of Westerners and Jews. You only see it on one side throughout modern history. You see it in 9/11, you saw it on 7/7. And you see it in continuing conflicts around the world.
Acts of terror garner the same response that you see after a soccer goal among certain segments of the world. And we cannot deny that, and it's not the Israelis that are jumping for joy.
We also need to destroy the myth were it not for Israel, there would be no peace. There's a reminder that al Qaeda -- here's a reminder, al Qaeda has killed eight times more Muslims than non-Muslims. It's not Israelis. The last time I checked, it was Nigerian girls were not kidnapped by Israelis. They were kidnapped by Muslims.
So, if Israel actually picked up and left and move to Texas, there would be a party in the Middle East that would last a week. But after that, that land would come to resemble all the strife around it, because they are one of the few areas that are able to establish a peaceful democracy.
To what Eric was saying, I could answer that question. This is the curves an ideology which prevent us from adopting solutions. So, what if the Palestinians agree to a solution? Would then Hamas? No, because their ideology prevents them through this prism of race and bigotry to ignore solutions that would actually bring peace, because it's never about peace and an ideology. It's a political faith. Political faith doesn't care about other people's survival. It only cares about theirs.
PERINO: And their self-actualization comes after their die.
PERINO: Israelis are fighting for their lives and Hamas is basically saying, fight with us and if you die, then you'll get --
GUILFOYLE: They are fighting for the after life.
BOLLING: If the Palestinians can somehow get what the Egyptians and say, look, we want another vote. We want to go back to the polls and decide whether we want Hamas on our parliament or not. Remember, whatever -- I can't even remember what the vote it was. But it was overwhelmingly in favor of Hamas.
PERINO: The governance was terrible. They couldn't even pick up the trash.
BOLLING: But if the Egyptians came in and see how the Palestinian people really feel, if they are with Hamas, if they are fight it out. You knock yourself out. And if they're not, hey, it's time to lay down the arms and demilitarized.
BECKEL: My guess is --
GUILFOYLE: Real quick.
BECKEL: -- that the Gazans are probably, I mean, the Palestinians in the West Bank are probably much more inclined to do that than the Gazans if for no other reason the Gazans are scared to death.
I mean, you got these terrorists running around.
BOLLING: So, what is Hamas fighting for then?
BECKEL: Well, that's the point.
GUTFELD: The solution, what you said before very simple. Why not just stop firing rockets? It's absurd how you watch the biased media and the protesters find any other solution than to say stop firing rockets. It's like a drunk giving up everything but the drinking. They can't let go of that one thing.
All you have to say, all you have to say, is stop firing the rockets, problem solved.
GUILFOYLE: Yes, you're right. Demilitarize it. Seems like a reasonable request.
Coming up, liberals let loose yet again on the hill with some more wild drama over immigration. Eric has that next.
BOLLING: Welcome back, everybody. We turn now to the other border crisis, our own. As thousands of illegals flood into America, things are heating up on Capitol Hill. Rather than negotiate a plan for the border, both D's and R's have resorted to finger pointing, and literally. Listen to Republican Tom Moreno.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. TOM MORENO (R), PENNSYLVANIA: Under the leadership of the former speaker and under the leadership of their former leader, when in 2009 and 2010 they had the House, the Senate and the White House, and they knew this problem existed. They didn't have the strength to go after it back then. But now are trying to make a political issue out of it now.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Gentleman will continue--
MORENO: I did the research on it. You might want to try it. You might want to try it, Madam Leader. Apparently I hit the right nerve.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Watch what was going on right there. Moreno's harsh words sent former speaker Nancy Pelosi into a full bum rush, pointing fingers firmly at Moreno if you bring it around the tape. Dana.
PERINO: She must have been really mad. She's a pretty cool customer.
BOLLING: And that was -- that was a pretty bad violation of decorum on the House floor.
BOLLING: Well, I mean, that's -- that's a relative term. They can point to some Republicans that have violated House decorum, like in the State of the Union address. The interesting thing is after that big Friday night dust up, the issue sort of dissipated over the weekend. The House and the Senate are now in recess. The House members are at least able to say to their constituents we took a vote. The Senate didn't even vote.
Tell me if you agree with it or disagree, but at least we did something, which is more than the Senate was able to do. So I think that it -- despite Friday night, I think the Republicans ended up going home in a fairly good position.
BOLLING: All right. Greg, my new favorite congressman.
BOLLING: You know what's great? If you just gave Pelosi a broom, she would have been Margaret Hamilton, the way she moved.
But the big point here, Pelosi and the left in general is they get outraged over your response to their previous personal attacks. There's been nobody more ruthless than Pelosi when it comes to demonizing Republicans or conservatives over immigration. A tenet to leftism is you must tolerate their intolerance. So Nancy can lob the rockets, and you, a metaphorical Israel, must take it.
BOLLING: Very good. You saw Nancy Pelosi losing it there.
GUILFOYLE: Well, at least I'm not related to her any more. Small joke.
Look, I agree with Dana. I think she must have been super, super upset, because she is pretty calm and collected, so I think this is all starting to--
PERINO: She's calm and collected when she's not challenged. I do think Greg has a great point. It was just the day before that Nancy Pelosi has said Republicans hate poor children.
GUTFELD: Exactly. And nobody ran after her.
PERINO: Every action causes an overreaction.
BECKEL: Yes. I listened to this guy. He said he did his research. He obviously didn't do it. I think he's a former prosecutor. The point was that it was the House that did -- when it was under the Democratic control did pass an immigration bill.
It was the Senate and Harry Reid that stopped that bill. Harry Reid made the mistake of sending everybody home for spring break. And when they came back, they couldn't get the 60 votes they needed for it. But he's wrong. Nancy Pelosi did get a bill through the House, and he ought to do his homework.
BOLLING: Listen to this ridiculously cheap shot taken by Louis Gutierrez, a Democrat at the GOP.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. LUIZ GUTIERREZ (D), ILLINOIS: Not only do they treat the children that are in such need of protection, it is almost as though they despise and hate all of our children. Because even the children that came before them that have pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States all of their life, loved this country and the president has afforded them an opportunity to become legal, they want to put them in an illegal situation.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: K.G., the Republicans hate all our children.
GUILFOYLE: Well, I think what I want to say is his heart is in the right place but he's misguided. I think that's just really destructive, you know, rhetoric. It's not -- you know, it's not true. It's inaccurate. It's not helping to -- helping the children or helping the immigration issue. It's divisive. There's zero gain on this.
BOLLING: Yes, Bob. Exactly right. How do you negotiate a deal when you have people saying stuff like that?
BECKEL: Well, here's the problem with this. This whole major issue of immigration has boiled down to 70,000 children. And when you get into a debate about children, then you're going to get these kind of accusations going back and forth. It was a bad use of words on his part. But we've got to get to the bigger picture in this thing. It is not about these kids. It is a much bigger issue, has to do with 11 or 12 million people already here. And we've got to deal with that. We're not going to be able to send them home. Maybe the -- some people want to send these kids home.
Even I thought it was a good idea. I screwed up. I reversed myself. But the fact is, we still have 11.5 million here, and that's got to be dealt with.
GUTFELD: He's right, though. It's not about the kids. It's about the left's favorite twosome, which is crisis and comprehensive reform. They let the border fester until it collapses and then, voila, comprehensive reform, which doesn't actually solve the problem.
For this to happen, you must create a context for crisis. So the administration is essentially the fireman but also the arsonist. So they start a fire, and then they try to sell you the water, which is comprehensive.
BOLLING: Rahm Emanuel saying they don't let a crisis go to waste. Any thoughts on the divisiveness in this debate? Is there any--
PERINO: I think that the rhetoric has poisoned the well to the point nobody wants to take a drink. So they're going to go home for recess, sober up, come back and have to decide whether it's still a humanitarian crisis, like President Obama said it was, or whether they let this go on for another year. I don't know what they will do. I don't know.
BOLLING: Who's winning this one?
PERINO: No one. But if you're -- if you're a constituent of Luiz Gutierrez, that was an impassioned speech. And it doesn't sound as divisive. If that's your guy and you support the position that he's making for you, then you think absolutely go for it. And the Republicans need to find a communicator who can do the same on their side without sounding mean.
BECKEL: If you could -- if you -- the Republicans are no closer to getting the Hispanic base, and that's what they need. I mean, let the Democrats--
BOLLING: That's another segment. Maybe we'll do that tomorrow.
Here on "The Five" today, though, Bob has a special birthday wish for one of his favorite presidents. You don't want to miss this one. Coming up.
GUTFELD: Remember those government employees caught watching porn on the job? Turns out they were bored. "The Washington Times" reports that workers who got busted as these lusted told investigators they simply didn't have enough work to do.
One FCC worker said he watched up to eight hours of smut a week out of boredom. The GSA employee echoed that, and a treasury flak claimed he had too much free time.
Oh, to be in government where you're always getting off early.
Of course, this doesn't reflect all government workers. But it's only the government you can pull this off without getting yanked from your job. If this were a private company you'd be on street before you could clear your history.
And so as the border crisis unfolds and the IRS scandal deepens, some glassy-eyed flack lurks behind a locked door, consumed by compulsion. Why help when you've got your hands full?
I've said it before. It's better for these chaps to serve porn than to do their actual jobs. It's the only urge that trumps the urge for interference.
If I were running for office I'd run on this: the inevitable consequence of an expanding government. That's the real pornography. A lust for preservation grows beyond its waistband every year, and each new budget is a newer, bigger sweat suit to hide this bureaucratic blob.
No wonder. No longer there to provide minimal service, government is now a comfy man cave leaving bureaucrats with nothing to do but themselves.
Now, Bob, I don't want to say this is the definition of government, because there are plenty of great people who work in government that don't do this sort of thing.
GUILFOYLE: And we're not talking about you.
GUTFELD: But I would like to say it is a reflection of the consequences of big government where these things can happen.
BECKEL: You know, you told me in the green room before we came out here that I better be careful on this segment, given what happened last week. And I agree with you. I agree with you completely. I'm going to make a comment about it. However, that monologue--
BECKEL: -- there was more double entendres in that thing than I can possibly imagine. And if anybody would read that thing again, it would sound like me on a normal day. OK, now having said that--
GUILFOYLE: Bob has a point.
BECKEL: Exactly right. Exactly.
GUTFELD: Really? I thought it was--
BECKEL: Every sentence. Every sentence.
GUTFELD: Because you can hear it in your head.
GUILFOYLE: The way you read it.
BECKEL: Well, let me just say that you're right. Because not everybody does it. Easy to go out and find one or two people that do this thing. Just remember: the military is part of the government.
BECKEL: Homeland security is part of the government. There is a vast majority of people in the government do not do this. And I think to pick these people out and say this is emblematic of government is a mistake.
GUILFOYLE: Where are you getting your research? That only one or two people do it? Really?
BECKEL: It's easy to pick out one or two people who do that.
GUTFELD: I think the issue, Kimberly, is that they'll probably keep their jobs, where if you were in a private sector you wouldn't.
GUILFOYLE: But this is the point. Why do you think that we're so bad on so many things on the government level?
BECKEL: Because they're all watching pornography
GUILFOYLE: No. Follow the whole lead here, Bob.
BECKEL: I'm trying to.
GUILFOYLE: There's no accountability, because it's jobs that are guaranteed. There isn't any oversight. You get promoted if you're really bad, regardless. That's the whole thing. It doesn't foster any kind of excellence or quality control, because if you were in the private sector. you would lose your job.
BECKEL: Nobody in the private sector watched pornography on the job.
GUILFOYLE: If they do their job well they can watch it. That's the point.
GUTFELD: It's their reward, I guess.
BOLLING: I'm sure that that would be OK.
But there is something in common between government employees that seem to like to do this a lot. These stories keep coming up every couple of weeks. They found someone doing this; they found someone doing that. And teachers that do stupid stuff that don't get fire. There's a common denominator: tenure, union. There you go.
BECKEL: Here we go.
BOLLING: A government employee is a unionized employee that can't get fired.
BOLLING: If you introduce failure to do your job, and you're fired, then guess what? There's probably no more people watching porn. Maybe not that. But certainly, teachers would teach better, and we'd all be better off.
BOLLING: Yes, if it weren't for those damn unions, yes, sure.
GUTFELD: Can I get to Dana? The interesting thing about, you know, these people that watch this sort of stuff, they always have to clear their Internet history so they don't get caught, whereas with Dana's, she actually has to add things to her Internet history to make it took interesting.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, poor thing.
BECKEL: I can help you. I can help you out with that, Dana.
PERINO: I thought it was Red Envelope, but then I was like, no, that's a gift site where you buy things for people.
GUTFELD: The fact is, if your job has any -- the police, fire, military, they don't do this sort of thing.
PERINO: But here's the thing now. OK. If they want to watch porn all day, just don't do it on your government computer. That was the problem. Everybody has problems. You want to do this, use your own phone plan and go in the bathroom and do what you have to do. Don't do it -- don't use the government computer. That just shows ineptitude.
GUTFELD: All right.
BECKEL: Nobody in the Pentagon watches pornography?
PERINO: Not with a computer.
GUTFELD: Didn't they find that out? Wasn't that another story we did?
BECKEL: I don't know.
PERINO: Remember this was Treasury Department employees. Our economy is so good right now they don't have to do any work. They can sit around and watch porn, and you get to pay for it.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Coming up, does happiness get better with age? We're going to ask Bob next. Scary.
BECKEL: Turning 50 used to be you were officially over the hill, but a new survey reveals that no longer will that be the case. A study found those in their 50s to be more satisfied and less stressed than younger folks and enjoying life, more so than previous decades.
Eric, you went past the big 5-0. What do you think?
BOLLING: I'll let you know. I'm one year in. It's pretty good. Probably has a lot to do with your financial status. As you get older, you hopefully put some money away. Usually, when you're younger you're stressed about it. And your kids are getting out of the house at around 50s or so.
GUILFOYLE: And your hair gets spikier.
BOLLING: Get spikier. You get yelled at by the producer: "Fix your hair."
BECKEL: Dana, you're a long way from there, but what do you think?
PERINO: I'm not that far away. It's very good news indeed. Right? Because that way when I turn that age -- it's not really that far away.
BECKEL: "That age." "That age." Greg, what about that age?
GUTFELD: OK. This is from "People" magazine, right?
BECKEL: Yes. Today.
GUTFELD: Yes. So these are basically 50-year-old editors who ten years ago did "Fit and 40." So this is kind of a self-selecting kind of news thing that they do make themselves feel better as they get closer and closer to that void called death. So you have -- you create these tonics for yourself to say, OK, things aren't as bad, even though I can see the end of my life. Remember, I did my little -- this is life. Right? So--
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
GUTFELD: From right here, when you're getting older, you don't see the end. And then once you get around 50 you can see the end.
BOLLING: It's all downhill.
GUTFELD: It's all downhill. So you start telling yourself, "Oh, it's great, it's great."
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
BECKEL: He's like Woody Allen. Don't listen to him. You're 20 years away. Right?
GUILFOYLE: Whoa, Debbie Downer. I'm going to go out on a limb. I am going to predict that I will be married again by the time I'm 50.
BECKEL: Maybe more than once. Let me just say someone who has gone well past 50, it's exactly right. I feel great. Nothing stresses me. I don't worry about anything. There's no big deals in life.
GUTFELD: You can't remember anything, Bob.
BECKEL: Well, that's important.
GUILFOYLE: Every day is groundhog day for Beckel.
BECKEL: -- take nothing away from that man. The more you can't remember, the better off you are.
OK, "One More Thing" is up next.
PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing." And I'm going to kick it off. Today James S. Brady passed away. He was 73 years old. He was the White House press secretary for Ronald Reagan. He was shot on March 30th of 1981 when Reagan was shot, as well.
Jim Brady was an amazing person, and there's a picture here after the briefing room was remodeled -- was going remodeled. And there's Tony Snow, DeDe Myers, lots of the press secretaries. He was a courageous person. The country was lucky to have somebody like him who was willing to serve and who ultimately was injured quite seriously. Thankfully, he was able to live a life, nice long life. And he is survived by his wife and his daughter Missy, who I'm sure will miss him very much.
And the White House actually called me today. There's going to be a statement later with lots of the former press secretaries. We all came together today in a show of unity.
BECKEL: Without trying to start a political debate, I couldn't agree with you more. But James Brady also did more for handgun control, he and his wife, after that, than any two people in the world.
PERINO: That's true. That's true. And the Brady Briefing Room is named after him at the White House.
GUILFOYLE: We talked about that today. Well, God bless him and his family. And thank him for his service.
OK, Eric, you are next.
BOLLING: OK. So here's a little advice to some parents out there. Forget Disney. Forget Universal. Forget the theme parks, the water parks. What you really to do is go to the national parks. We did this again with my son, Eric and I.
A couple of pictures. The first one, Eric climbing up. We went from 1,000-foot elevation to 7,000 feet in two and a half miles. Very (UNINTELLIGIBLE) unbelievable.
Give me the next one. Eric hanging over the side straight down one mile down with no ropes and no nets.
One more very quickly. On the top of the mountain. Here it is. Next one, quickly. And then one more. And then--
PERINO: There you go.
BECKEL: You want to frack all those places. Don't you?
PERINO: No, he doesn't.
BOLLING: That was awesome. What did you say?
PERINO: Very cool.
BECKEL: So you want to frack those places, don't you?
BOLLING: Frack you.
BECKEL: I hope you get in as much as trouble as I did for that.
PERINO: All right. Greg, are you ready?
GUTFELD: I don't have a "One More Thing."
PERINO: OK. Do you want to say anything about anything?
GUTFELD: I'm protesting. Well, I'll tell you what happened. I found a great video of Vladimir Putin getting pooped on. We can show that. But I want to point out that none of the producers bothered to tell me that it wasn't real. So I sat here thinking this is great, and then they send me the article that says it's fake. So they were just willing to let me do this without knowing that it was fake.
PERINO: Which makes it funny.
BECKEL: Somebody spit on the guy.
GUILFOYLE: Well, I just want to say I'm so sorry for you, Greg, and I would gladly share my "One More Thing" with you.
GUTFELD: What is it?
GUILFOYLE: It's very special. Kim and Kanye--
PERINO: Oh, no.
GUILFOYLE: -- celebrate 73 days together married. That is one day more--
BECKEL: Than should be.
GUILFOYLE: -- than her marriage to Kris Humphreys who she filed for divorce. It was very sad. And the divorce, it was after 72 days being married, and it took them 536 days to settle it. How about that?
PERINO: That's good for lawyers, right?
BECKEL: Yes, it's 72 days too long for both of those people. The queen of plastic surgery--
PERINO: Bob, Bob, Bob--
PERINO: -- remember last week and let's move forward with your fabulous "One More Thing."
BECKEL: Well, I do want to wish a very special happy birthday to the president of the United States. President Obama turns 53 years old today. I think he'll go down in history as one of the best presidents. I know everybody's going to laugh around here, and most out there probably will, but I think he's a very good president. But on this birthday, happy birthday, Mr. President. You've got a tough job, and I think you're doing it well.
GUILFOYLE: Hey, you're right. Because in your 50s, that's when you relax and you don't worry and enjoy your life.
BECKEL: Yes. In your case you get married 15 more times.
GUILFOYLE: You're jealous. No one asked you to be married.
BECKEL: I don't want to be married again.
GUILFOYLE: I wasn't asking you.
PERINO: The only thing that hasn't come up today is Jasper.
BECKEL: Oh, no! Almost made it. We almost made it without that damn dog.
PERINO: You know what else? It is Bret Baier's birthday today.
BECKEL: Yes, it is.
PERINO: Happy birthday to Bret Baier. You want to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five." We're going to see you back here tomorrow. "Special Report" with the birthday boy up next. Happy birthday to Bret.
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