Safety in the Sky

By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the United London-to-Washington flight that was forced to land at Boston's Logan Airport after the pilot declared an emergency.

The emergency? An hysterical woman — apparently claustrophobic — and with the flight crew, apparently unruly.

Needless to say, it's a good idea to exhibit neither on a transatlantic flight, any flight, and certainly this flight on this day — the day those multiple airline bombings were originally to have gone off.

The simple fact is, it's a different world up there, in the skies, in those planes. What passes for unruly and unacceptable behavior on the ground, isn't remotely tolerated in the air. If you act up, they'll practically throw you off.

I've seen it myself. You can complain all you want on the ground, but you better shut up in the air.

Up there, you're theirs. Their seat belts? Snap them. Their chairs? Raise them. Their rules? Follow them.

Nothing is yours. Your laptops? Ditch them. Your shampoos? Pitch them.

Sometimes you don't even have to wait to get up there. I was on a hellishly delayed flight this past weekend and a woman was escorted off, for apparently yelling and complaining too loudly. For her, too bad. Get a bus.

Another novice flier made the mistake of trying to switch seats with a friend while parked on a runway. A big no-no. The flight attendant practically shot him, but not before screaming at him.

In this post-9/11 — damn near 8/16 — terror world, you're not just the customer, you're cattle. You just don't want to end up like cattle. And you won't, if you follow their friendly rules, on their friendly skies.

Simply grin and bear it.

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