Ridiculous ways you could become a federal criminal

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Ridiculous ways you could become a federal criminal

The book 'How to Become a Federal Criminal' exposes all the outrageous ways you could commit a crime in America. Jesse Watters talks to author Mike Chase.

This is a rush transcript from "Watters' World," March 9, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: This is a Fox News Alert. I'm Jesse Watters, welcome to "Watters' World." CNN is going to be heading to court. The lawyer representing Covington High School student, Nick Sandmann telling Mark Levin he plans to sue CNN for as much is $250 million. Remember Sandmann had that controversial standoff with Native American activist, Nathan Phillips just a few months ago?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

L. LIN WOOD, ATTORNEY TO NICK SANDMANN: They really went after Nicholas with the idea that he was part of a mob that was attacking the Black Hebrew Israelites, yelling racist slurs at the Black Hebrew Israelites. Totally false.

MARK LEVIN, HOST: You're suing CNN Monday or Tuesday?

WOOD: Yes.

LEVIN: May I ask for how much?

WOOD: Well, I expect because of the way they went after Nicholas so viciously that the claim for his reputational damage will be higher than it was against the "Washington Post."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Much more from the interview tomorrow night at 10:00 p.m. Eastern on "Life, Liberty & Levin" right here on Fox News.

Joining me now syndicated columnist and author, Michelle Malkin and Fox News contributor, Dan Bongino.

So Michelle, we'll begin with you. I believe these types of massive lawsuits, a quarter of a billion dollars is exactly what you need in order to chip away at fake news. Fake news has peaked. We have got a big lawsuit against "The Post," now one against CNN. I think is downhill from here, how do you see it?

MICHELLE MALKIN, SYNDICATED COLUMNIST: I see it exactly the same way, Jesse. We finally are getting accountability against the smear merchants who aren't just going against public figures anymore.

I mean, I think every conservative public figure in political life expects this kind of smear mongering to go on, but this is a kid. This is a teenager. And the absurd idea that you are going to hear from these defense lawyers for these media corporations that somehow Nick Sandmann was an accidental public figure and that that's the standard by which he should be judged is an absolute joke. It's an outrage and thank God for People like Lin Wood and the other lawyers on his team. We need more of this kind of accountability in order to chill and stop fake news.

The other thing I want to talk about, too, is actual malice and reckless disregard for the truth. It happens every day on these official media blue-checked accounts on Twitter. They are never held accountable, certainly not by the Twitter Safety and Truth Council, and so it has to be litigated in courts of law, as well as courts of public opinion.

QUEST: Right, because Dan, the media loves to hold other people accountable, but whenever you try to hold them accountable, they don't like that very much, and I think what is going to happen here and it's probably already happened at the "Washington Post." You get the top editors, people that own "The Post," they now tell every single person, have them tell everyone in the newsroom, stop being first on Twitter. Stop and get it right. It's okay if you are the second. Do not be the first and wrong.

And that is going to have an effect on people because people don't want to cost their company another $250 million for fake smears.

DAN BONGINO, CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, Jesse, I call it the Bongino Rule. It was originally 24 hours, but now, it's 72 hours you have to wait now before retweeting or sending out any story that has any kind of ant- Trump bias because it's likely you're going to get egg on your face and be made to look like a complete imbecile, especially if it's a story from the "Washington Post" or the "New York Times."

I mean, these stories are endless. The Covington kids, the Nikki Haley drapes story, the entire Russian collusion hoax. It never ends. But one more thing on this, Jesse, isn't this ironic, right? And a hat tip to Kellyanne Conway who just tweeted this out. It's a great point. Nicholas Sandmann is a teenage kid who literally not figuratively said nothing, and the media, a powerful media conglomerate of leftist maniacs tried to ruin his life and yet, 37-year-old Ilhan Omar, a grown adult woman who just got elected to Congress, repeatedly, openly says the craziest anti-Semitic things, and yet the "Washington Post" runs interference for her every single day. If that does not show you how trash the media is, I don't know what does.

WATTERS: Well, you are wrong about one thing. He didn't do nothing, he smirked, Dan. Remember that smirk?

BONGINO: Yes, he smirked, right. Darn it. He smirked.

WATTERS: That is a vile, vicious, provocative smirk. I'll show them that smirk. I'm also very curious about more of the Dan Bongino rules. We have heard one.

BONGINO: There's a lot of rules.

WATTERS: You should write a book about rules from Bongino. Now, Michelle, I wanted to get to you on this because Dan actually perfectly segued into it. If you have the mainstream media constantly leading the Democratic Party over a cliff on things like Smollett, on things like Covington, where now presidential candidates are piling on because they see fake news that has not been fact-checked and it is done by malice, they are now in trouble because they now have perpetuated fake news. They lose credibility and they just look like they have terrible instincts.

When, if they want to be Commander-in-Chief and they cannot get something as simple as Covington right or Smollett right with all of the facts are so clear, how are they going to do in a time of war?

MALKIIN: Yes, well, the SJW hijacked liberal media has no credibility left to lose. And many, many years ago, I observed that the left and that includes the leftist in the beltway press swamp that liberals see racism where it doesn't exist. They manufacture it where they cannot find it and they ignore it within their own ranks.

And I mean, that has been the light motif, right? That has been the theme that has run through every day since President Trump took office, and of course during the campaign as well. Covington, they saw racism where it doesn't exist. Jussie Smollett, they made it up where they couldn't find it. Ignoring it within their own ranks. That is Ilhan Omar, that's Rashida Tlaib. That's the entire resistance caucus of the Democratic Party, and I have said, often again, the French has become the mainstream and the Democratic Party, Nancy Pelosi has completely lost control of that party and what does that bode for 2020 and the current Democratic field of candidates there? I mean, they can't get any more left than they already are. They are all going to go off the cliff.

WATTERS: Yes, Nancy has totally lost control and remember, she was supposed to come in and start chopping off people's heads and they weren't even going to realize they were bleeding. And now, she is the one bleeding because she's lost all control. You mention bigotry. What about the Northam blackface situation?

The last I checked in, he still in office. You have the blackface thing. You have them bringing up a convicted liar to testify as their star witness. Michael Cohen. The Green New Deal is a complete joke. Hoaxes are all over the place. And the Democratic candidates are just following it all over a cliff. If you look unbiasedly at the last couple of months, the state of the Democratic Party is in such rough shape, and Donald Trump's approval rating is now at or near the highest it's ever been. The media is not being honest about what's happening in this country and it is only hurting the left.

BONGINO: Yes, Jesse, how ironic is it, right, that the Party, the Democrats that have bathed themselves in identity politics for what? Over 50 or 60 years now. Currently, there is a Governor of Virginia who is either a blackface or a KKK outfit, we don't know. We haven't yet decided which one he was.

WATTERS: Yes, we don't know.

BONGINO: Yes, we are just not sure of which one he is. And then you have a known anti-Semite who uses her Twitter account to just repeatedly and openly attack Israel and Jewish people and accuse Americans who have some kind of foreign policy positions on Israel with dual allegiance. Now, what is was incredible about this whole thing is, Jesse, this is who the Democrats have always been. I don't want to speak for Michelle, but I think she agrees. I think the gift from Donald Trump has only been to get the Democrats to show their butts. This is who they've always been.

WATTERS: I completely agree.

BONGINO: But their rage with Donald Trump has them taking of their masks. They were always about government-run healthcare, socialism, environmentalism. That's communism disguised as environmentalism. They just -- Donald Trump has gotten them to show their faces.

WATTERS: Because Donald Trump has them reacting so very vociferously from him, everything he does, they have to do the opposite and they are exposing themselves for who they really are. Now, before we let you go, Michelle, I just wanted to ask you about something that you -- a comment you made it CPAC that got everybody talking, let's roll that and then we can respond.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MALKIN: E-verify has been stalled. Sanctuary cities have metastasized. And both parties are to blame. And yes -- I'm looking at you retired Paul Ryan, and yes I'm looking at you Mitch McConnell. And yes, I am looking at you Bush family and yes, I am looking at you, the ghost of John McCain.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Okay, so Michelle, everybody is saying that that was inappropriate. Not everybody, but a lot of people were upset that you had said that. Upon reflection, do you have any regrets about that statement?

MALKIN: Of course not. I think if you look at the full context of my remarks, and by the way, you can watch the whole speech in context, 20 minutes, on my website at michellemalkin.com, as well as a transcript. You will see that what people were cheering, and I have always had my heart in the place of the grassroots of the conservative movement, not the Republican Party and elites, and I think that as much as the Democratic Party is falling apart, there has to be a reckoning between the grassroots versus the elite and who Trump represents.

And the fact is that the ghost of John McCain, and all of the other big business Chamber of Commerce type Republicans that have been selling out the American people, that is where the Republican Party needs to reconnect and they can't simply rely on the Democratic Party falling apart.

So of course, you have these SJW credentialed journalists sitting in the gallery it CPAC. That's all they heard and they tried to turn it into a stupid cat fight rather than talking about the real problem that there has been and the fight that's going on, on immigration, not between the identity politics left and the right, but also between the grassroots America first-ers, who put Donald Trump in office versus all of the big business interests that want to expand every last temporary visa program, as well as prevent the wall from being built.

WATTERS: Okay, yes, because Megan McCain kind of very upset by the comment and obviously, you don't feel like you have to apologize, not reconsidering at all considering how hurt she was? Or --

MALKIN: No.

WATTERS: Standing by your statement?

WATTERS: No, I think that the big business Republicans, the Chamber of Commerce and the people who are blocking the agenda that put Trump in office should apologize to America.

WATTERS: All right. Michelle Malkin and Dan Bongino, thank you, guys very much.

Now to a "Watters' World" exclusive investigation into Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The freshmen firebrand and her Chief of Staff already accused of funneling nearly a million dollars -- a million dollars -- in campaign contributions to a business in order to avoid campaign finance laws.

And now she is facing possible ethics violations regarding her Twitter account, and, and is accused of being a green hypocrite.

Joining me now to break it all down, President of American Commitment, Phil Kerpen. All right, Phil, let's begin with the campaign finance violation. They are calling this a possible felony. Her, I guess, campaign manager was playing loose with a bunch of cash, a million dollars, is she in trouble for this possibly?

PHILIP KERPEN, PRESIDENT, AMERICAN COMMITMENT: Well, she is certainly in trouble. The question is how much trouble? We know at a minimum, there are reporting violations, because almost the entire back office campaign operation was outsourced to a vendor called, Brand-New Congress LLC in a storefront in Knoxville, Tennessee.

And the disclosure on the campaign report, it just says strategic consulting, even though they were doing obviously much, much, much more than that. We don't know if any of the money was diverted or embezzled or stolen, but even if it was all used on legitimate campaign expenses, there's almost certainly a reporting violation here. The much bigger problem --

WATTERS: Whoa, whoa, whoa -- a reporting violation? I think that's what they tried to impeach President ...

KERPEN: The minimum.

WATTERS: ... Donald Trump, the reporting violation with Stormy Daniels. Let me just show what a former FEC official had to say about this alleged crime. Go ahead.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRAD SMITH, FORMER FEC OFFICIAL: I've never seen this kind of set up. Knowing and willful violations of the Federal Election Campaign Act, there's no accounting for what they did with over $2 million. It made $62,000.00 in contributions to candidates. Nothing in independent expenditures. What to do with all the money? Either it seemed to have disappeared into the pockets of Chakrabarti or they used it to assist campaigns without reporting it which would be you know, major --

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, and now, the freshman congressman is in trouble potentially for her Twitter use. They are saying she is breaking all sorts of rules as a member of Congress. What rules is she breaking on Twitter, AOC?

KERPEN: Well, she is linking between her official taxpayer-funded account and her campaign account. So she's essentially using tax dollars from official office budget to promote her campaign, and that's forbidden.

WATTERS: Yes, that is a big no-no. Now, something that got a lot of attention also, she's into the Green New Deal. She wants to get rid of air travel and cows and you know all sorts of fossil fuels and all of that. It looks like though, she is not living too green personally, right? Like, she never takes the subway. She never takes the train. She is always like around in SUVs and airplanes. What's going on there?

KERPEN: Well, it's interesting, right? Because she wants to have all of us everywhere for us to take trains, not to have cars, not to have planes. She lives in New York City, literally the only place in America where it's actually convenient to take mass transit to get where you're going and she's going back and forth between Washington and New York, literally the only two places maybe Boston also, that it makes sense to take a train instead of a plane, but she never takes the train, she takes the plane every time, and she seems to almost never take the subway. She had a massive number of Uber and Lyft receipts and cabs, and all of that kind of stuff on her campaign reports.

WATTERS: Yes, and now, I think one of the Greenpeace guys called her a total joke because she is spouting all of this stuff. She doesn't even recycle or use compost or she got caught throwing away a bunch of plastic bags. Here is her reacting to the plastic bag gaff. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ, D-N.Y.: I can be upset that I get 10 plastic bags at the grocery store and then have to toss out my plastic bags because the recycling program in the area is tough and that's okay --

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, Earth to AOC. You can bring one of those little cloth bags --

KERPEN: You take them right back to the store. Take them right back to the store, they will recycle for you.

WATTERS: I see liberals toting those things around all the time from Whole Foods. All right, Phil, nice report. I've got to run. Thank you very much.

Kamala Harris wants to legalize prostitution. That's right. She wants to legalize it, but a former prostitute is furious at the Democrat and she is going to join us next. And later, the cheese challenge sweeping the nation.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TERRELL JERMAINE STARR, HOST, THE ROOT: Do you think that sex work ought to be decriminalized?

SEN. KAMALA HARRIS, D-CALIF.: I think so. I do. When you are talking consenting adults, I think that you know, yes, we should really consider that we can't criminalize consensual behavior.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Kamala Harris backing the idea of legalized prostitution. A far cry from her position as San Francisco DA. Coming out against proposition K, a 2008 ballot measure to decriminalize prostitution in the City by the Bay, Harris telling "The New York Times" at the time, "It would put a welcome mat out for pimps and prostitutes to come in to San Francisco."

Annie Lobert is a former sex trafficking victim who worked as a call girl in Vegas and thinks legalization is a terrible idea. She now leads a nonprofit called "Hookers for Jesus" and joins me now. So Annie, when you were a young girl, I believe 16 years old at the time, you got into prostitution. How did that happen?

ANNIE LOBERT, FORMER SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM: I was actually teenager and I was at a nightclub one night with my girlfriend and I, and I was working three jobs and wanted to go to college. Poverty drove me into prostitution.

We met these guys that were undercover sex traffickers. I ended up in Las Vegas. The first night that I worked, there was a trafficker that beat me almost bloody until I died, and I actually was stuck in this life for 10 long years on the Las Vegas strip.

And mind you, Las Vegas is not legal for prostitution. However, we have counties that are legalized prostitution and the stats say that when you have legalized prostitution, sex trafficking goes rampant.

WATTERS: Right and the people that run the trafficking operation, those are the pimps and those people are the ones traditionally beating the woman, controlling the women and giving them drugs and they takes most of the profits. Were you ever in danger --

LOBERT: They take all of the profits. They take all.

WATTERS: They take all of the profits.

LOBERT: Take all.

WATTERS: They take all of the profits.

LOBERT: Yes, I was in danger. I have so many --

WATTERS: Were you ever in danger? I mean, tell us, describe us in detail what exactly could happen or happened to you in that system?

LOBERT: So, I went on a call to a very nice hotel, in a nice suite and this man decided to take the money back when he did not get what he wanted from me and he tried to throw me out a 22nd story window and thank God, I was smart. I almost gouged his eyes out. He let go of me and then proceeded to try to pull me back out to the window and back then, the windows went open like three to four feet. So it was very easy for him to do this.

And I ended up in the hallway screaming and thank God, security came to help me. And these two little old people that were down the hall heard me screaming, they put a nice robe on me and comforted me, but that man checked out and got away with it.

WATTERS: He got away with it because you didn't call the police, obviously.

LOBERT: You can't. I was doing something illegal. There is no protection.

WATTERS: Right, so now, the senator says if you legalize it, maybe those things won't happen because people would go to the police, and it would be better regulated. Now, to Kamala Harris, what would you say?

LOBERT: That is not true, and I want to ask her a question. I would love to have a debate with her about this. Have you ever been sold for sex, Kamala? Have you? Do you know what it feels like to be used as a receptacle 10 to 20 times a day? Abused and scalped for these men's pleasures? I would like to see if she could even handle one time it happening to her. I guarantee you, if she understood the dangers and the abuses that happen with this, she would never want to legalize this profession and it is not a profession to any of us that have been there that have been abused.

WATTERS: Well, she says, consenting adults, and that is the deal. If the adults are consenting then, who is anyone to say in America, what is right or wrong? I will give you the last word.

LOBERT: I believe that if we legalize prostitution, we are going to send our country in a downward spiral. It will change every thought process for the man towards a woman. We are already exploited in the media and it is going to make our country, and little boys will grow up thinking that it's okay to purchase women. Men by women and use us like a coffee cup and throw us away when they're done. That is not what we want to share with our country and teach our different generations of how to treat women.

We need to be respected. We need -- and I heard this saying from a friend of mine, "We need jobs, not (EXPLETIVE)."

WATTERS: All right, Annie, we will leave it at that. Thank you very much.

LOBERT: You're welcome.

WATTERS: But we're not going to use that type of language obviously because that is offensive and we apologize for that. Michael Jackson accusers describe in sick detail what the former King of Pop allegedly did to them, and the explosive R. Kelly interview. Geraldo Rivera responds next.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

R. KELLY, AMERICAN ARTIST: You y'all killing me with this [bleep]. I can't have 30 years of my [bleep].

GAYLE KING, HOST, CBS: Robert.

R. KELLY: Thirty years of my life ...

(END VIDEO CLIP)

AISHAH HASNIE, CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Aishah Hasnie. More severe weather in the forecast and the area of most concern of course, parts of the deep south here where several states are on a tornado watch right now. The highest threat is the region from western Alabama to southern Illinois. This video here from Lonoke Country, Arkansas, which may have experienced a tornado earlier today. There are no reports of any injuries. The storm though is expected to weaken and move out of the area overnight.

A rough ride for passengers and crews heading from Istanbul, Turkey to John F. Kennedy International Airport. The plane encountering severe turbulence while approaching New York injuring 29 people. Officials say most of the injuries are minor. Four people were brought to the hospital. The rest were checked out at the airport and released. I am Aishah Hasnie, now back to "Watters' World."

WATTERS: This week, two high-profile sex scandals unfolding involving music megastars and their alleged underage victims. First, new very disturbing first-hand accounts of child molestation against the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

In HBO's new documentary, "Leaving Neverland," watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We were going to sleep in his bed. The first thing I remember is Michael -- sort of you know, moving his hands across my legs. We are both clothed in PJs, and then his hands got to you know, my crotch area and he sort of fondling there.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And how old were you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I was seven, seven years old.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Joining me now, Fox News correspondent-at-large, Geraldo Rivera. All right, Geraldo, you were very close with Michael Jackson in the early 90s there. I believe that his entourage, recording executives, assistants, they were enabling this. Everybody had to know because he was procuring these children, he was spending long times on the phone with them and his people were trying to split up the children from their own families. How are they not accessories to something like this?

GERALDO RIVERA, CORRESPONDENT-AT-LARGE: As to the people surrounding him, Jackson was a weird character. We were close in '03, '04 and '05. During that period, there were still children all around him, particularly in Neverland Ranch, but my sense of it was that the parents were willing, I think more than anyone, if anyone was an accessory, it was the parents of these children who brought their children and let the children stay overnight in an adult male's home however, celebrated he might have been. You know, I wouldn't let my kids --

WATTERS: Yes, because you hear some of these parents in the documentary talk about how they would get to Neverland and then, Jackson would suggest that maybe they go take a tour of the Grand Canyon for a few days and they would leave their young boy with Michael Jackson, where they had petting zoos and rides and things like that. And they would sleep in the same bed. Here is some sound from John Safechuck, kind of talking about sexual activity at Neverland Ranch with Michael. Go ahead.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN SAFECHUCK, ALLEGED VICTIM OF MICHAEL JACKSON: He also had a like an Indian fort with teepees and so, we would lay down sleeping bags, have snacks and then have sexual relations there. There was also a game room. On an upstairs in the arcade, there was another room, and it had a bed in there. We would go into that room and have sex there.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: We're not even playing you some of the most graphic descriptions because it is just too horrific and now, radio stations across the country, some of them are not playing Michael Jackson's music. So I wanted to ask you, are Geraldo, are you able to separate the music from the man? Or do you just put this all together and do you think like confederate statues, people just tear these things down and the legacy will never be the same?

RIVERA: I think Jesse, that it must be pointed out that both Safechuck and Robeson have strenuously denied any physical relationship with the King of Pop, with Michael Jackson until they failed in their efforts to be compensated by him, then they have now turned in this explosive documentary. I agree with you that these allegations are horrifying to listen to.

But you know, you ask, you posed the ultimate dilemma. Let's say that even though I am skeptical of some of these most explosive charges. I think that the issue of whether or not you play Michael Jackson music is really subjective one. You've got to decide for yourself, he is, unarguably, one of the most talented performers in the history, in the modern history of show business. He is the King of Pop for a good reason.

None had the same rhythm, none have the same use of lyrics. No one could dance like Michael Jackson. And that's why, you know, when he died of the overdose, at the age of 50 of Propofol, he was going to the O2 Arena in London, England and he had sold out every ticket for hugely expensive week- long run there. Millions and millions of dollars. He is enormously appealing, whether or not you play his music, you know I have to leave it to you.

If we start for instance, Wagner. Wagner, the great composer was a favorite of Adolf Hitler. I mean, do we still play Wagner? You know, I think that that's --

WATTERS: I mean, where are you going to go? Never play that music again? You're right, I mean, but radio stations because they are exposed commercially to boycotts and things like that. That is a decision they are going to have to make financially, but I think every American, you know, still has the right to listen to "Thriller."

So let's turn to the other pop star now, accused of underage sex, r. Kelly. He had an interview with Gayle King, went berserk. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

R. KELLY: I didn't do this stuff. This is not me. I am fighting for my [bleep] life. You y'all killing me with this [bleep]. I can't have 30 years of my [bleep] life.

KING: Robert.

R. KELLY: Thirty years of my career. Y'all trying to kill me. You're killing me, man. This not about music. I'm trying to have a relationship with my kids and I can't even do it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Now, I do not want to convict the guy, but again, overwhelming amount of evidence against him. A lot of testimony and he is facing some hard time. This looks like to me, Geraldo, a man knows that it is all crashing down and it's over for him. This fantasy world that he created, where he was living in a bubble and could do whatever he wanted to do with whoever he wanted to do it with is over.

And he feels like he is the victim and he is lashing out and it looked like kind of a juvenile display to me. I will give you the last word.

RIVERA: I think that that was an award-winning interview. I think that R. Kelly, if he is lying, gets the Oscar for best performance under pressure. Gayle King gets the Emmy for keeping her composure.

WATTERS: Well, wait, what about Smollett. I think Smollett is in the running for that, too, Geraldo.

RIVERA: Smollett, the most bizarre and unbelievable tale ever woven. But R. Kelly, had again, you have a situation where R. Kelly beat many of the charges already in criminal court. Now, you know, he has -- he is the subject of this explosive, very, very condemning allegation or series of allegations against him. I think what has changed though, Jesse, is the climate out there with the #MeToo movement, and the Zero Tolerance, all of these people who played fast and loose apparently with the rules of, you know, engagement with either underage girls, teenage girls or with young boys in Michael Jackson's case, whatever you got away with before, you will now be haunted because the rules have changed.

You mentioned confederate statues, I think that that is a wonderful comparison. I think as history changes, history will be fragile and will be, you know, it will last for as long as something is in and then the next generation or the next style trend, it will change again. You know, the next thing, they are going to get rid of the cowboys and Indians, John Wayne is already being condemned by Native American groups. I think that Audie Murphy -- all of these old Western stars will be next. I think he's already touched.

WATTERS: Wow, don't touch John Wayne. I thought John Wayne was untouchable, Geraldo. I think things are moving pretty quickly if you go after John Wayne.

RIVERA: No one is in this climate.

WATTERS: All right, Geraldo at large, there he is everybody. Thanks for coming in.

RIVERA: Thank you.

WATTERS: The most ridiculous Federal crimes that could get you thrown in jail. Wait until you see what you could get locked up for. Be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(VIDEO OF "BENCHWARMERS")

WATTERS: Have you ever destroyed a mailbox? Clogged a toilet in national forest? Written a letter to a pirate? If so, you committed a Federal crime and you could go to jail. Joining me now to explain is author of the upcoming book, "How to Become a Federal Criminal," Mike Chase. So Mike, three years in prison if you write a letter to a pirate? What if you text or e-mail a pirate? Is it the same offense?

MIKE CHASE, AUTHOR: Yes, it's actually any kind of correspondence with a pirate. But the catch is that you have to talk about pirate stuff. So if it just idle chitchat, you are not going to go to prison, but yes, if you took about piratical things, you are going to go to prison.

WATTERS: Okay, okay, so if you put a message in a bottle and it's about booty, you're going to get locked up for three years.

CHASE: Yes.

WATTERS: What about this? You cannot threaten a clown. A lot of people don't like clowns, why can't you threaten a clown under Federal law?

CHASE: Yes, this one is actually going to be heartbreaking to a lot of people, myself included, because of clowns just being terrible, but the truth is that we have to blame animal-rights activists for this one. They used to have a practice of threatening research centers, but Congress got a little bit overboard. And they protected rodeos and circuses so yes, if you send a threat to a clown and you shut down the circus, you are looking at some serious prison time as well.

WATTERS: Congress going overboard. I've never heard that before. What about you cannot clog a toilet at a national park? It says, to be guilty of this offense, the law requires only that the offender put a substance into the toilet that is capable of clogging the toilet. I mean, that just seems a little rough.

CHASE: Well, this is important because it used to be only certain substances like rags and cans and garbage, but sometime in the last couple of decades, they change the rules so it is any substance. So I'm assuming that there was an incident, but just remember, if you're going on vacation to a national forest, any substance, and even accidental clogging.

WATTERS: Okay, so all you hikers, just so you know. And while you are at the national park, you cannot give the horse that you see, if you see a horse, you cannot give it the finger. You cannot moon it, you cannot make any offensive gestures to a horse in the national park. Why is that?

CHASE: Well, I don't know. I've never represented anybody charged with a horse mooning case or an offensive gesture case to a horse. And frankly, I don't know what kind of gestures horses find offensive, but all I know is that the Feds have regulated it, so that any unreasonable gesture made to a passing horse, so remember, if the horse is standing still, go wild, but any passing horse ...

WATTERS: Go wild, okay.

CHASE: ... if you make -- yes, oh, absolutely. But if you make an unreasonable gesture ...

WATTERS: That's a really good detail for people that were planning on doing that.

CHASE: It's important.

WATTERS: This is interesting. You cannot have offensive body odor in Congress. Now, it is a swamp down there in D.C. in the summer time, there's a lot of Congressman with let's just say, a few extra pounds. This seems easy to break.

CHASE: Yes, so just be clear, it's a Library of Congress. Congress would never make a rule that banned their own body odor, I'm pretty sure.

WATTERS: Of course, right.

CHASE: So it is the Library of Congress. And yes, and if you have sufficiently offensive body odor or really any offensive personal hygiene, yes, you can go to prison for that if you interfere with other people using the library. And in fact, the Library of Congress has been a beacon for other libraries and if they can smell you at a range of about two feet, you are probably going to be looking at a citation.

WATTERS: All right. There's a bunch more we don't have time for. You cannot barter for a flamingo. You cannot ride a manatee. You cannot draw the Pentagon. This is a great book. Everybody, go check it out and be careful in the national parks. All right, Mike, thanks very much.

CHASE: Thanks, Jesse.

WATTERS: Parents throwing cheese at their kids. It's a thing and we are going to show it to you when we come right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Social media melting down over the internet's latest viral challenge. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Ah boo. Do you like the cheese?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Yes, those are adults throwing cheese at their unsuspecting babies in this new cheese challenge, but the prank is causing controversy. Some say they are messing with a baby for likes on the internet is cruel. Others actually say it is child abuse. Here with reaction, Fox News national correspondent, Ed Henry. This is probably the most serious segment you've done all day, Ed.

ED HENRY, CHIEF NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: Yes. You needed to bring me in just for this.

WATTERS: It's not child abuse -- I know, I know. We wanted to wake you up. I heard you had to go to bed for "Fox and Friends," so we didn't want you to get any sleep.

HENRY: I'm losing an hour.

WATTERS: I know, this is not like they're throwing a block of cheese like hard parm, this is a Kraft single, it's not -- that doesn't hurt any kid, right?

HENRY: Yes, I think folks, lighten up, but I think what this shows more than anything is we all have too much time on her hands. Shouldn't you be reading a book or something? I mean, throwing cheese at your toddler? Can't you please come up with something more interesting?

All of our lives have just become ridiculous.

WATTERS: I totally disagree. I think this is a great use of parenting time. The kids are too young to understand books. These kids look like infants, maybe six months old.

HENRY: I am talking about the parents.

WATTERS: Maybe seven months old.

HENRY: The parents should be reading a book. Go take a walk. Have a --

WATTERS: Oh, the parents should be reading?

HENRY: Yes.

WATTERS: Okay, the parents should be -- no, they should be watching Fox News, okay?

HENRY: Yes, watching "Watters' World."

WATTERS: And if they do read, I want them to read Ed Henry's book. That's the only book they should be reading.

HENRY: Yes, "42 Faith" by the way. It's still available.

WATTERS: There it is. All right --

HENRY: By the way, I got sandbagged by Hegseth today. He threw cheese at me on "Fox and Friends." I didn't even understand this challenge. I didn't have time to open my mouth. You can see it right there. Let's just say, my attorney has made contact with Mr. Hegseth's attorney. That's all I can say right now.

WATTERS: Wow. Hegseth's attorney is having a busy month, I can't believe it. You know what though, it is an easy throw. Your head is so big, Ed. I mean, with that --

HENRY: This is what I get for doing you a favor coming in late at night on a Saturday. I should be reading a book. I should be having a scotch, instead, I'm here taking abuse from you and Hegseth.

WATTERS: All right, I apologize and retract the statement. Everybody read Ed's book. Let's play some tape of this guy. He is from the Cowboys, defensive tackle, David Irving. He loves pot, smokes it all the time. He is quitting the NFL because they test too much. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DAVID IRVING, COWBOYS DEFENSIVE TACKLE: Basically guys, I quit. There's a lot of [bleep] in the NFL, man. As you all know, I voice my opinion about this medicine right here. I mean, NBA players are getting in trouble about this. How many coaches do you see getting in trouble about this? How many baseball players are getting in trouble? How many UFC players are getting in trouble? How many actors? Not many. But you do see a lot of of football players. I love football, however, I don't love the NFL.

The NFL is not football. I'm all right. This is my choice, I'm living with it. I am going to Kaeperick myself before they Kaepernick my ass.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Now, Ed, the NFL policy, I mean, they just basically test these guys once before training camp. You can smoke all off season and just clean up before camp. You get random tests when you cannot get clean before camp. So obviously, this guy is doing it a lot.

HENRY: Yes and see my first answer. We have too much time on our hands. He is 25 years old. He was in the NFL. How many young people dream of that someday? And by the way, I should point out, we are laughing, but in all seriousness, he is sending an awful message to kids. He is 25. He should be on top of the world and he is wasting his time.

WATTERS: And you can smoke all the pot you want afterwards when you retire.

HENRY: Now, his career is shot.

WATTERS: I know. I want to play some sound. This is Alex Trebek. He was just diagnosed with cancer. These are some of his most savage burns. We love this. Roll it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TREBEK: Your favorite type of music is something I've never heard of.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's called nerd core hip-hop. So people who identify as nerdy rapping about the things they love -- video games, science fiction, having a hard time meeting romantic partners.

TREBEK: Losers in other words. You are involved in a boys' beauty pageant. What happened in the beauty pageant?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I had one other competitor.

TREBEK: Not much of a pageant was it?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Football 200.

TREBEK: It's an option play.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Football 400.

TREBEK: Do think we should go to commercial?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Six hundred.

TREBEK: Fair catch. Two clues left, Ryan.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Eight hundred.

TREBEK: Let's look at the $1,000.00 clue, just for the fun of it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HENRY: We love Trebek.

WATTERS: We love you Alex Trebek. He is the best, we wish him well. Thank you, Ed. Up next, "Last Call."

HENRY: Jesse, thank you.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Time now for "Last Call." Tempers flared in Phoenix on Friday as a pair of NASCAR racers traded blows on pit road. Daniel Suarez and Michael McDowell throwing punches following a dispute on the racetrack. The heated exchange, apparently began over spacing on the track during a qualifying round at the ISM Raceway. Guys, just throw a cheese at each other's head next time, all right.

That's all for us tonight. Be sure to follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. "Justice With Judge Jeanine" is next. And remember, I'm Watters and this is my world.

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