Put your summer movie knowledge to the test

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Put your summer movie knowledge to the test

It's the first annual Greg Gutfeld summer movie trivia quiz!

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," July 6, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello. And welcome to our special July 4th weekend show. It's brand new, but was pre-taped a week ago.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Which means tonight, whatever topic I choose to discuss, it has to be interesting and fun, but also generic and non-topical so it doesn't get old in a week. So how about those Democrats?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: See, that never gets old. It never gets old. Deviling and not mailing it in tonight. Yes, all of these Democrats, they want to be President and they are trying desperately to stand out while trying to appear human.

They drink beer, just like you and me.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. ELIZABETH WARREN, D-MASS., PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Hold on a sec, I'm going to get me a beer. Hey, my husband, Bruce is now in here. You want a beer?

BRUCE MANN, HUSBAND OF ELIZABETH WARREN: No, I'll pass on the beer tonight.

WARREN: I'll pull a stool and sit down.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I will never drink beer again.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: They also go to the dentist, just like you and me.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BETO O'ROURKE, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: So, I'm here at the dentist and we're going to continue our series on the people of the border and I'm here with Diana, my dental hygienist. Diana is going to tell us a little bit about growing up in Memphis.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: They watch porn with their mom, just like you and me.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN HICKENLOOPER, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I promised her that we would go to the movie theater and see this new movie. It's an X movie, I don't know -- you know, I just -- I was sure that she wouldn't say no. I made a mistake. So I took my mother to see "Deep Throat."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: What voting bloc was he trying to win over with that story? The crazy pervert who goes to pornos with his mom voting bloc? It's a huge bloc. Great story though.

Well, when you've got 20 candidates in the mix, at some point, it starts to feel like a bunch of retreads, all trying to outdo themselves with applause lines for the left-wing fringe on Twitter.

Trump didn't do any of that as a candidate. He stood at the podium, got the crowd fired up, no one bulldozed past him to get to the condiments.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND, D-N.Y., PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I don't think you should back away from the bold ideas that the base and the grassroots care about --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sorry, ma'am. I'm just trying to get some Ranch.

GILLIBRAND: Go ahead.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: No. Ranch always gets applause. Ranch always gets -- and you didn't see Trump doing this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

O'ROURKE: They're all excited this morning. They were talking about how many days are left in the school year. We're cutting out some of this ear hair that you get when you get older. It grows out of your ears and you don't get it cut, it can be nasty.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, the day we see how Trump's hair is done, it will be a hundred dollar pay-per-view event. And I would watch the hell out of it. I don't need to see Beto's ear hair. I don't need to see Beto. Much less, his ear hair.

But Trump didn't need to do that. He packed the stadium and had a strong rallying cry.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: We will make America great again. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.

We will make America great again. Thank you. Thank you very much.

We will make America great again.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Now that was his slogan, but what does the other side have?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ERIC SWALWELL, D-CALIF., PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I will be bold without the bull.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Silence. Of all the candidates in this race, I think I'm going to miss him the most. And of course, there's Joe.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: My name is Joe Biden and I am running, in this case, running for President of the United States. Look me over. If you like what you see, help out. If not, vote for the other person.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I think they are going to vote for the other person. I don't know what's worse that Joe is so tired or that he was still the front runner after that. But do you know who doesn't sound tired?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: You know who got me elected? You know who got me elected? I got me elected.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Such a bad ass. Right now, that's what this election is coming down to. This is Trump.

[VIDEO PLAYS]

GUTFELD: And this is any one of the Democrats.

[VIDEO PLAYS]

GUTFELD: I need to get that back. The fact is, Trump has made it hard to judge anyone just on politics. It's probably the greatest unintentional benefit of his presidency. Sure, we've got a great economy and low unemployment, but we're seeing something else happening, a challenge to the stereotypes, the platitudes, the cliches. The Old Guard feels so tired and lame, which is why I know who Trump is going to face in 2020.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Mr. President, if you're listening, I want you to hear me, please. You have harnessed fear for political purposes and only love can cast that out. So, I, sir, I have a feeling you know what you're doing. I'm going to harness love for political purposes. I will meet you on that field and, sir, love will win.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He is bland he makes Pat Boone seem dangerous. Host of the "Quiz Show" on Fox Nation, Tom Shillue.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: He performs his service even if he is super nervous, comedian, Joe Machi.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: She is a sassy but keeps it classy. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Katherine Timpf.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: And he finished a marathon in just 12 steps. My massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Tom, what's your assessment in this race so far?

TOM SHILLUE, CONTRIBUTOR: What do you mean you're going to miss Swalwell? He is not out of it, Greg.

GUTFELD: I am assuming he will be out of it.

SHILLUE: He is going strong.

GUTFELD: You like Swalwell?

SHILLUE: I like Swalwell because I just want my slogan, I want Trump to use my slogan. What would you rather have? A swell wall or a Swalwell?

(Laughter)

SHILLUE: I actually said that on this show, Greg, and then I went to this big Fox Nation event, people had buttons that had my slogan on it.

GUTFELD: That's what happens. That's what happens. It's one of the few things you'll be remembered for. It could be the only thing you'll be remembered for because you are forgettable.

SHILLUE: There's an always an "Oh" when I am on this show.

GUTFELD: Joe? I'm kidding, Tom. Barely. Joe, what's you're take so far on the Democratic candidates. Which one scares you at least?

JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: I'll tell you what, Andrew Yang scares me the least because he is going to give me a thousand dollars for nothing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACHI: And that sounds good. That's the only candidate that's going to give me money to pay for all the tax increases I am going to have to pay to pay for everything for everybody else.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Kat?

KATHERINE TIMPF, CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, Greg?

GUTFELD: What are your thoughts?

TIMPF: My thoughts?

GUTFELD: Yes. Put them in order of importance.

TIMPF: I mean, if I could have anything in the world, I would have Marianne Williamson be the Democratic nominee.

GUTFELD: Me too.

TIMPF: Because I mean, she is just -- I have friends like her, right? And I see them about once every six months because it's a little bit harder to talk to your problems -- talk about your problems with someone who is just going to say, "Well, just rub crystals on your knees, and they'll go away." Or you know, well, that's because the moon is in Bijushabi and when the Bijushabi is in retrograde, and then Bejitude, a Scorpio moon, Libra cusp and -- that's what it sounds like to me. I don't really know, but people believe this and they have a certain kind of face in talking when they do.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know.

TIMPF: And it's like, she is like, love. She can't just say, like if I say the word "love" it's like not as sexy.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's so soothing. It's like when you hear her, I feel like I am bathing in a tub of warm milk, Tyrus, and I know that feeling because I often do that when I am home alone.

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, CONTRIBUTOR: That's the least appealing thing I think I've ever heard.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Oh, I've got more.

MURDOCH: Boy. So you want to talk about the Democrats or you want to stay weird in the bathroom? What do you want to do?

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Let's talk about the Democrats.

MURDOCH: Honestly, I'm surprised. Weird in the bathroom is a little more fun.

(Laughter)

MURDOCH: I haven't -- there's been some moments. I just -- I keep looking at former Vice President, Mr. Joe Biden and go, "Why are you doing this yourself? Nobody likes you." Like I feel -- and at the same time, it's also a big moment for me because, I never in my lifetime thought people would gang up and tell white people they are not allowed. This is this is great for me, like, wow, we've come a long way. We kind of went too far.

Back up and let everybody be cool, but I just want every -- I can't watch more than a few minutes of it. Because every time Cory Booker talks, I think, just say what you want to say, but he can't. Because he has to be the guy that everybody likes. He's everybody's friend, which to me means he is nobody's friend. So people like that you just can't trust.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: You know, I believe -- I believe that the ticket is -- and I am predicting it now is going to be two women. Because I think that like -- the strongest candidates are Kamala and Liz. It's just which one is going to be --

TIMPF: Isn't it weird that I'm not inspired by that?

GUTFELD: No. It's not --

TIMPF: I am a woman, but I prefer to like keep my money, you know.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Well on that note, coming up, we answer your mail and then throw Tom Shillue out a window.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It's time for viewer mail, a highly original segment that happens on holiday shows. Here are just a handful of the hundreds you submitted on Facebook and Twitter. And as always, these are directed to everyone including myself.

Peggy Sue writes, you don't hear a lot of Peggy Sue's anymore, ever since she got married. If you could go back in time to visit a younger version of yourself, what advice would you give and what age would you visit? Tyrus?

MURDOCH: Eighteen, I'll be, quick kid, vasectomy, safe with anything. Trust no one.

GUTFELD: Vasectomy. Kat.

TIMPF: Just all the teens, and I would tell myself that maybe if you didn't sit in the classroom writing song lyrics on your notebook about how nobody likes you more people might like you. It's okay, I'm all right now, guys.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Joe?

MACHI: That's a tough one, Greg. I'm doing super. So it's hard to think of anything I've done wrong. I'd probably go back to 17 and tell my younger self take out a whole bunch of loans for college. Because in the future, a whole bunch of people are going to whine about how they didn't pick the right major and it's someone else's fault. And then we'll get them for free.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: That's true. That's so true. Tom?

SHILLUE: If I could talk to my younger self, I guess, I would say, Tommy get some of that hot lovin'.

GUTFELD: Really?

SHILLUE: Yes.

TIMPF: I'm so disturbed by this answer.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: To be clear, just because it's you saying it.

MURDOCH: Saying it to himself.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: And you call yourself "Tommy."

MURDOCH: Does anyone else get the fact that he went back in time to seduce himself?

MACHI: Can I change my answer?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACHI: Go back and get some more of that hot lovin'.

SHILLUE: There you go.

GUTFELD: If I could go back in time, I would go back to when I was in eighth grade and don't believe the priest when he said that will make you go blind.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: The weird thing is though, I am kind of legally blind. So maybe, maybe he was right. Anyway, next question is from Gerrie. She writes. Okay, so this -- she asks, what's your favorite movie, song and book? But for time, just pick one. What's your favorite movie, song or book? And I think I know what Kat is going to say. What's your favorite whatever?

TIMPF: What's my favorite movie? Anybody here know? Come on. You don't know. Well, then, you don't know me at all. My favorite book, I'll go with that. "Rabbit at Rest" by John Updike.

GUTFELD: Somebody reads. Wow, a real honest to God book. Her favorite movie is "Happy Gilmore."

TIMPF: It's true.

GUTFELD: Tom?

SHILLUE: I guess, favorite book maybe "Animal Farm" George Orwell, changed my life. It made me realize animals are a bunch of dirty communists.

(Laughter)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Joe?

MACHI: "Lord of the Rings" for favorite book and movie. I should have got that hot lovin'.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Tyrus?

MURDOCH: Hey, I'd be honest with you. I'm a little freaked out right now because "Animal Farm" was one of my favorite books because I like Boxer so much the character, but he said it, so now, I'm like "ew." So I have to go with "Where the Red Fern Grows" because that was my favorite book. Big Dan and Little Ann, man.

GUTFELD: Where did the fern grow by the way?

MURDOCH: See you'll not ruin it. Stop. Move on. The fern grew --

GUTFELD: I didn't like any books that you were forced to read when you were young. Like I didn't like what's the "To Kill a Mockingbird." I didn't like that book.

SHILLUE: Because you had to -- because they forced you to read it.

GUTFELD: Yes, every book they forced me to read, I didn't like.

TIMPF: You're an English major, Greg.

GUTFELD: I know. It's stupid.

TIMPF: You're going to have to read some books.

GUTFELD: Yes, I like "The Fall" by Albert Camus. Yes. I also like the "Bible of Unspeakable Truths" by Greg Gutfeld. You can get any paper back by the way. Oh, I'm shameless. Next question comes from Nathan. He tweeted to us, who are the crew that act in y'all skits because the whole crew is what seems to make the show. All right, first of all, it takes longer to write "y'all" than it is "you all." So enough of that as stupid affected "y'all" apostrophe crap.

All right, I'll answer this. Everybody that you see the skits works on the show, because we're cheap.

Yes, Tom, we don't pay you.

SHILLUE: N, I'm just in the building all the time. I've got nothing to do.

(Laughter)

SHILLUE: Always force feeding me those drugs.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's right. Every skit, he's on a drug. Yes. Anybody else want to answer that question? Who cares?

SHILLUE: It's a talented crew for -- I mean, this show -- is this not the best comedy show in late night?

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: For the -- okay, if you look at any other shows, they've got a staff of like a hundred people. We have eight people and that's including the people in the couch. I mean, it's nuts.

MURDOCH: And I'm part time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(Laughter)

MURDOCH: Yes, you don't see me in the commercials because that's on a Wednesday and Tyrus don't work on Wednesdays.

GUTFELD: All right, enough blowing our own horn. Sherlon went on our Facebook page and wants to know, what was everyone's first real job? Oh, all right, Machi, I have a feeling it was an interesting job.

MACHI: I worked at a fine dining restaurant where people were confused by why I was there.

(Laughter)

MACHI: Yes, I just -- there's just something about me that doesn't say fine dining.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: Kat, I have a feeling you worked and had an interesting experience.

TIMPF: No, it wasn't interesting. I worked at a pizza and grinder shop. And I was maybe the only person who worked there that had never been to prison, so I didn't really fit in.

GUTFELD: Yet.

TIMPF: Yes.

MURDOCH: I have a question.

TIMPF: Yes, yes.

MURDOCH: Grinder means a lot of things nowadays, so what -- pizza and what was the grinder part?

TIMPF: I had a shirt that I had to wear. That said "Gotta grab a grinder." But it was a sandwich.

GUTFELD: Tom, first job?

SHILLUE: I worked in a nursing and retirement home. I lied to get in the job to get in the door. You were able to lie back then. Are you 16? I said, "Yes, I am 16." I was 15.

GUTFELD: That gets me in a lot of trouble. You know, my first job -- I can't figure out which one was my first real job because there were like, I had a paper route. Is that a first real job?

SHILLUE: Yes.

TIMPF: I used to take pieces of to take sticks and put them together like crosses and go door to door and try and sell them. That doesn't count as a job. No one ever bought one.

GUTFELD: That seems like a sick thing a child would do.

(Laughter)

TIMPF: You're not entirely wrong.

GUTFELD: No, that's weird. Selling sticks to strangers. Now, I was a paper route. Did some gardening for neighbors.

SHILLUE: Grit? Did you ever sell subscriptions to neighbors?

GUTFELD: I would never sell grit? I never knew what grit was.

SHILLUE: I gave it a try.

GUTFELD: We add for grits. People in their 70s are going, "I know what Tom is talking about." All right, just shut up. Up next, it's the First Annual Greg Gutfeld Summer Movie Trivia Quiz.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

AISHAH HASNIE, CORRESPONDENT: This is a Fox News Alert. I'm Aishah Hasnie in New York. Fox News has learned that billionaire Jeffrey Epstein has been charged by Federal prosecutors with sex trafficking. Epstein was arrested in the New York area and is now in police custody. He is expected to appear before a Federal Magistrate on Monday.

At least 21 people were injured when a massive explosion rocked a South Florida shopping mall. The blast set large chunks of concrete flying through the air, scattering debris across a very busy road. A vacant pizza restaurant was destroyed and several businesses and cars damaged.

One witness says it was like the world was ending. No word yet on what caused the blast, but firefighters found ruptured gas lines and none of the injuries are life threatening. I'm Aishah Hasnie, now back to “The Greg Gutfeld Show.” For all your headlines, log on to foxnews.com.

GUTFELD: Time for the Summer Movie Trivia Quiz otherwise known as filler for a holiday show. Here's how we play. I ask multiple choice questions. You hold up paddles marked A, B, C or D to answer. The winner gets a copy of my book, "The Greg Garfield Monologues" which is now in paperback. Now in paperback. We can't afford prizes. Keep your own score. Here we go.

All right first question, which movie is considered to be the first summer blockbuster film earning 100 mil in theaters. Is it A. "King Kong." B. "Raiders of the Lost Ark." C. "Godzilla." D. "Jaws." We got three rights. It was "Jaws."

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Nicely done. Somebody is keeping score there, so that's one for Kat, one for Joe, one for Tom. Tyrus left out.

MURDOCH: I'm not playing Greg. I'm putting the same letter up every time.

GUTFELD: No, you're not doing it. You can't sulk during this.

MURDOCH: Oh, I'm doing this. I'm not sulking. I am not playing.

GUTFELD: Why not?

MURDOCH: You didn't ask me my job?

GUTFELD: All right, all right. What was your first job?

MURDOCH: No, so you can't go back now.

GUTFELD: Yes, I am going to go.

MURDOCH: No.

GUTFELD: All right. All right. Question to "The Hustle" starring Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson is a remake of what film? A. "The Sting." B. "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." C. "The Color of Money." D. "Lethal Weapon."

TIMPF: Oh, who cares?

GUTFELD: You guys have to play. Another three are right. Tyrus is right. Kat is right and Tom is right. Joe, you're wrong. It was "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." Good. Let's see question three.

TIMPF: Maybe I'm psychic.

GUTFELD: Best known for playing Luke Skywalker, what movie villain does Mark Hamill lend his voice to this summer? A. Is it Chucky? B. Is it Scar? C. Is it Ghost Face? D. Is it Jason Voorhees? Another three. Tyrus, Kat and Joe got it right.

Kat in the lead. Kat is leading with three. You're going to win a copy of my book.

TIMPF: Oh, thank God.

GUTFELD: And you'll find -- which heartthrob played Goose in "Top Gun"? A. Tom Cruise. B. Val Kilmer. C. Anthony Edwards. D. Lou Dobbs.

The answer, oh Tyrus and Tom. Anthony Edwards. No Kat and no Joe.

So now it's -- what's the score? It's Tom and Kat, Tyrus are tied up.

TIMPF: I've never seen a single one of these movies.

GUTFELD: All right. Question five, Samuel Jackson stars in 2019's "Shaft." Who sang the original "Shaft" theme? Was it A. Marvin Gaye. B. Robert Goulet. C. Isaac Hayes. D Barry White. Oh, we've got another three right. Yes, Tyrus is right. Joe is right. Tom is right. Kat, you're wrong. Kat is losing the lead. Now Tyrus and Tom are ahead. This is just a load of --

TIMPF: Where all the questions about "Happy Gilmore"?

GUTFELD: Question six. Besides "Fletch," what Chevy Chase summer comedy was the biggest of 1985? A. "Three Amigos." B. "European Vacation." C. "Caddyshack." D. "Christmas Vacation." It's B. "European vacation." That means Joe and Tom get it right. Tom is in the lead now with five.

SHILLUE: I do host the "Quiz Show," Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, you're quite good at this. How many questions are we doing? Question seven. Will Smith plays the genie in the 2019 version of "Aladdin." Who voiced Iago in the 1992 animated version? Was it A. Jeremy Irons? B. Gilbert Godfrey. C. Rowan Atkinson. D. James Earl Jones. The answer. Oh, they all got it right with B. Last question. We need a tiebreaker here, kids. "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way," is a line from A. "Batman." B. "Terminator." C. "All in with Chris Hayes." Yes, it's kind of funny. D. "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." Who has this one? They all got him right which means the winner is Tom Shillue.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Tom gets a copy of my book which I will sign it. "Tom, I love you. Greg Gutfeld."

SHILLUE: Hey, it's that hot lovin' I was talking about.

GUTFELD: Yes, you got it.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: Coming up, our favorite fake ads, fake drugs, and fake movie trailers.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Let's look at the bits that made your side split. First up is a tourism add we made for Denver, Colorado after this city moved to decriminalize magic mushrooms.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: There's never been a better time to visit -- home of the Broncos, Coors, Lights, Mile-Hi. Skiing, Avalanche, Rocky Mountains, Skiing.

Denver take a trip.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That -- we were trying to capture what it would be like if you were completely high on magic mushrooms and trying to do an ad. I think we caught it, right? You guys seem excited.

All right. This next one is a product we imagined for the home, a room to hide from constant news media outrage. We called it the outrage bunker.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: In an era of volatile political storms, controversy can erupt at any moment without warning.

BROOKE BALDWIN, ANCHOR, CNN: Social media was quick to call the students involved racist.

ANNOUNCER: When outrage strikes, will you have the facilities to keep your family sane?

SHILLUE: Oh my God. We have to get downstairs before it's too late.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why? What's going on?

SHILLUE: There's no time. Get the kids. To the outrage bunker.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Come on kids, let's go.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hold on, hold. I've got to SnapChat this.

SHILLUE: Let's go. Come on. Be careful. Move fast. We've got to get in here. Come on.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wait, wait. Wait. Open the door. Dad, Dad. Mom. It's your son, Billy.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We forgot Billy. You have to open the door. Quick.

SHILLUE: We can't. It's too late. If we open the door now, we get sucked into the outrage vortex. Billy is on his own now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Guys, let's --

SHILLUE: We can always have another.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I always hated Billy anyway.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I love you guys very much.

SHILLUE: He did drag us down.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, I hate him. We can just wait out in the outrage bunker.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Please open this.

SHILLUE: It's for the best.

ANNOUNCER: The outrage bunkers impervious to Wi-Fi, hot takes, self- righteous diatribes, vilifying generalizations, stupefying story developments and all other hot air that comes with sensationalized breaking news stories.

With the outrage bunker, you and your loved ones will be safe and healthy, so you can come out and enjoy life when the dust settles, as if that talk of the town never even happened.

SHILLUE: Well, we made it. Billy?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Justice.

SHILLUE: Billy, is it you, Billy? Holy mother of God.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.

SHILLUE: What the [bleep].

ANNOUNCER: So get outrage bunker today. Warning, outrage bunkers may provoke social media withdrawals, limited human interaction, new cycle apathy, and an increase in overall happiness.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, excellent acting. Excellent acting. Tom Shillue and our own Gene Nelson as the zombie. By the way, again, these are all people who work on our staff, have office jobs, no other -- could you imagine like Hannity staff doing this? Or Tucker staff? No.

SHILLUE: They can barely catch up football he throws.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. All right. Advertisers always use sex appeal to get people to buy their products. So we thought what would it look like if Trump tried that with his border wall? We got this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hey there, are you looking for the hottest border security this side of the Rio Grande? Do you love long, beautiful, slats? Raw, naked steel and sexy barriers that are see through in all the right places?

Then you'll love the all new southern border wall. Perfect for stopping illegal flow of narcotics, criminals and migratory land mammals, because it can't be penetrated.

There are other things walls are saying about the southern border wall. Fenway Park's Green Monster says --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would totally bang that wall, bro.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Says the Great Wall of China.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, if you're into older walls, call me.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And the Great Barrier Reef says --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I haven't been this turned on since I had that three way with those tiger sharks.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So call now because one way or another, these bricks are getting laid tonight.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: All right, the narrator for that ad was our producer, Holly, who I think Tyrus now can never look at it the same way again. This last one is the scene we made from a new James Bond film that caters to the milkshake throwing activists in the U.K. Enjoy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Where are you? Where's the bomb? You can't get away with this.

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NATION HOST: Oh, but, James, I already have. By the time you track me down, it would be too late.

Oh, James, you're so predictable. All I have to do is push this button and the building will be leveled.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There's only one thing that can stop a madman like you. Wait.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: All right, Tom. Before we go to break. That was one take.

SHILLUE: One take.

GUTFELD: One take.

SHILLUE: One take one shake.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: I guess, we'll just end on that, right? Any other parting thoughts? No.

TIMPF: I'm good.

GUTFELD: Okay. Just checking it out.

SHILLUE: We really didn't bomb a building.

GUTFELD: No, we didn't. That was all acting.

SHILLUE: Yes.

GUTFELD: That was all acting. Fake building. Up next, breakdancing may become an Olympic event, which means I'm about to win a gold medal.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Would the Olympics be shocking if they added popping and locking? The International Olympic Committee or IOC has provisionally approved adding breakdancing to the 2024 games in Paris. That's a city in France, Joe.

Each dance battle will have 16 athletes competing in both the men's and women's events. Paris is also looking at skateboarding, sport climbing and surfing to their summer program.

But the IOC has to grant final approval before the new sports can be added. Personally I'm still hoping this becomes an Olympic event.

[VIDEO PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Maybe the Russian judges gave her a 5.2. A little Russian judge over there. Joe, you seem like a break dancer.

MACHI: I am Greg and I'm pretty darn good at it. I'd demonstrate right now but I'm all mic'ed up, I can't.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACHI: But I'll tell you what, it's no wonder that the Olympics have bankrupted more cities than public unions because we're going through sports that are from other decades and no one really pays attention to them now. Why not add rollerblading or parkour.

GUTFELD: Parkour.

MACHI: See, no one cares. That's exactly.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Kat, what are your thoughts on this breakdancing thing?

TIMPF: I think it's good.

GUTFELD: Yes. Good for you.

TIMPF: I think it's good because whenever I see anyone breakdancing, I look at them, and I think that looks hard. So I think that that should be in the Olympics. It looks harder than some of the other stuff that's already in the Olympics.

GUTFELD: I agree, like the thing with the ribbons.

TIMPF: Like curling.

GUTFELD: Curling. Yes, yes.

TIMPF: I actually don't know what curling is, Tyrus.

MURDOCH: You better somebody, it's cool.

TIMPF: You know, I actually feel like the fact that I've made it 30 years on this earth without ever needing to know tells me all I already need to know about curling.

MURDOCH: You vape as a national pastime, so before you start talking about --

TIMPF: That needs to be --

GUTFELD: That should be an event.

TIMPF: I can -- I can inhale --

GUTFELD: The vape cloud. You get judged by the vape cloud.

TIMPF: I would win.

GUTFELD: Of course you would. Of course you would. And they could -- you know what, that'd be great they could have it in San Francisco where it's banned.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, what are your thoughts on this? It feels like sports are just arbitrary. Well, it's like why is baseball a sport?

MURDOCH: I'm not going to get into that with you. Baseball is a great American pastime, communist. But here's the thing, the Olympics is -- it's dying and where they're trying to inject it with stuff to keep the old horse going, but at some point you've got to take Boxer to the glue factory. It's just the way it is.

Breakdancing is an art form. You know, I put it up there with gymnastics and stuff, so I get it. I'm good with breakdancing. Badminton not so much, but you know the Olympics is trying to keep people going because once the Summer Olympics in this kind of thing, you see track and field and stuff.

But countries as they progress and get better, they have their own sports now. And people don't -- the best athletes don't necessarily train for the Olympics. So it's kind of an -- it's an old pastime, but it's fading away. So eventually at some point it'll be video games. It'll be your face timing, speed texting. It will be things like that.

GUTFELD: Selfies. You could be judged on how well you disguise your flaws. Like that athlete comes out without makeup and then they do a selfie and if you can see how much better they are without actually knowing that they did anything. What am I talking about?

MURDOCH: You know you're onto something. It's one hundred percent. That's where the Olympics is going.

GUTFELD: Or how about this? Speed texting, because like with the least error so you have like five people there and you have like a passage from "Paradise Lost" and they have to speak text it to their friend without -- with few errors.

TIMPF: I would win.

GUTFELD: You would? Would you win?

TIMPF: A thousand percent.

GUTFELD: So there you go. See. It's right up your alley.

TIMPF: And here I thought I was not an athlete.

GUTFELD: You know, Tom, I bet you might have had some breakdancing in your background.

SHILLUE: I was a bit of a break dancer.

GUTFELD: Yes, I could see that.

SHILLUE: Yes, I was a bit of a foot looser, too.

GUTFELD: Oh, were you?

SHILLUE: Yes, I went to the art of feet loosing.

GUTFELD: Really?

SHILLUE: Yes, letting those feet loose.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: But I --

GUTFELD: Did you dismember people?

SHILLUE: I never did that.

GUTFELD: Okay.

SHILLUE: But, I thought about it. No. I used to hate the sports that had the judges. I like things that have finite, you know, rules to them. You know, if you run the fastest you get the gold medal. And I didn't think that anything that had judges in it should be in the Olympics, but now I do like the judging because it really shows you that there's no such thing as objectivity because the judges from Russia always give the Russian person the highest score.

GUTFELD: Right.

SHILLUE: And it shows you there's no objectivity in the world.

GUTFELD: This is why as I've said before, all judges whether it's in sports, or in real life, have to be at robots or artificial intelligence, or what do you call those? What are those little things?

TIMPF: You're going to have to be more specific.

GUTFELD: Algorithms.

TIMPF: Of course.

GUTFELD: Because judges when they're like deciding whether you go to jail or not, it depends on whether they had lunch. There's research on that how much you ate affects whether you're going to get like pardons or early release and the same -- I mean, it's like it's so -- I mean, think about that?

You've got to have -- it's the same thing with the Olympics. They've got to be judges.

SHILLUE: It also shows you, if you ever get arrested and you go into court bring a sandwich.

(Laughter)

GUTFELD: So true. So true. We learn a lot from you, Tom. All right. Don't forget to buy your tickets for "The Gutfeld Monologues Live." The next three shows: July 20th, Asbury Park, New Jersey; September 14th in Orlando; September 15th, Atlanta. Special guest some jerk named Tom Shillue. Go to ggutfeld.com for ticket info.

Stay right there. I have a very special "Final Thought" to close out tonight's show.

(Cheering and Applause)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "Final Thoughts." It's the last thought. That's why it's called the "Final Thoughts," okay.

GUTFELD: All right. We've got two. One from Joe, go for it.

MACHI: Thanks, Greg. I just want to give a quick shout out to my friends at the Jared Box Project. What they do is they make up boxes of games and toys for kids fight in the hospital. It's Jared Box, thejaredbox.com. J- A-R-E-D. If you'd like to make a donation or get involved. Thank you.

GUTFELD: Nicely done. All right. So I have a "Final Thought." We are saying goodbye to a very important member of the staff. Come here. She is just going to cry. I know she is going to cry. Don't cry.

Our studio audience coordinator, Nora Torpey. If you've ever been to a live show, which I think about 20,000 people have at this point, it's because Nora puts you there.

Whenever you sent e-mails that were yelling about something, she was the one who had to read it and be nice to you. She's the one that always deals with cranky people who have to pee.

She worked with us back in the "Red Eye" days and she's been a big part of this show's success. And we're going to miss you Nora. Give Nora a hand, everyone.

(Cheering and Applause)

GUTFELD: All right. Special thanks to Tom Shillue, Joe Machi, Kat, Tyrus and studio audience. Nora Torpey. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.

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