This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 11, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Katie, Juan, Dana, and Greg. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is The Five.
President Trump unleashing on Democrats and pummeling Joe Biden during a fiery campaign rally. It was his first since the Democrats launch their inquiry. The president wasted no time going on the attack.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: Democrats are on a crusade to destroy our democracy. That's what's happening. The wretched Washington swamp has been trying to nullify the results of a truly great and democratic election. They want to erase your vote like it never existed. They want to erase your voice, and they want to erase your future. So they know they can't win the 2020 election, so they're pursuing the insane impeachment witch hunt.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Trump also honing it on Joe Biden and his son Hunter, making their shady Ukraine dealings a top campaign target.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Where's hunter? Hey, fellows, I have an idea for a new t-shirt. I love the cops. But let's do another t-shirt. Where's Hunter? Where is he? Hunter, you're a loser. Why did you get $1.5 billion, Hunter? And your father was never considered smart. He was never considered a good senator. He was only a good vice president because he understood how to kiss Barack Obama's ass. The Biden's got rich and that is substantiated, while America got robbed. That's what happened. Sleepy Joe and his friends sold out America.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Wow, it's a tough line of attack, Juan. Biden got rich. America got robbed. And by the way, where is Hunter?
JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: I mean, to say -- so heartbroken for America that that's the president. That's the way he talks. And that's the way he talks about people who are his political rivals. I mean, not only -- I mean, we could do the journalistic thing and say so much of this is Trump's unsubstantiated charges and, you know, he just wants to throw dirt at somebody. But it's just heartbreaking that that's the President of the United States in front of our kids talking about the former vice president, whether you like him or not.
I won't even want to repeat what he just said. I mean, that -- you know, he has his lips -- I mean, it's just unbelievable. It's not -- you know, at some point with Trump, you say, oh, Trump is so entertaining, you know, Trump is going to be funny, or it's like a schoolyard kid. But in that moment -- all right, and the second point, Jesse, I think it's pretty clear from that attack last night that there's only one Democrat that he is concerned with and that's Joe Biden. He doesn't attack Elizabeth Warren who's been doing well in the polls. He doesn't attack Bernie Sanders who does well in the polls. Both have done better than Biden in terms of fund- raising over the last quarter.
But his actions and his words, everything from Ukraine, and those unsubstantiated theories to this, show that he is really worried about Joe Biden. And this week in the Fox poll -- with other polls as well, show Biden beating him handily. And, of course, this week we also had Rudy Giuliani's pals going to Ukraine, or being paid by Giuliani or somebody to try to influence American politics to get that ambassador thrown out who testified today. But, again, they were going after dirt on Joe Biden when Joe Biden and his son have been found to be guilty of zero.
WATTERS: OK, Juan, very dark and gloomy analysis. Greg, let's go to you for a little bit more spunk, please.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Big surprise, I don't feel the same way Juan does. I find it interesting when people are shocked by Donald Trump. It's three years, OK? That's a Trump rally. You've got to get over it. I mean, you're like the guy that opens up the fridge, knows that the milk is sour and you still sniff it, and -- oh, my God, the milk is sour. That's Trump is. He -- and by the way, you act like this is -- like, this is somehow new in general. This is how the left -- how Democrats have talked about people, privately, have demeaned us, how academia, entertainment have talked about America.
This guy is just taking what's inside and taking it outside. So -- somebody smarter than me, you know, they look at this and they go, oh, my God. You know, the new line is, this isn't normal. Well, you're right. It isn't normal. That's why he won because that's not the typical politician. You can hate him. You can hate him every single day. It's not going to change.
And by the way, you've got to look at the energy of that rally and you got to wonder if the Democrats are really thinking straight about this impeachment, because what the left always wanted, they always wanted a revolutionary. Their American version of Fidel, their American version of Che, they always wanted that. Weird way they thought Obama would be that. How hilarious is it that the revolutionary is a Republican talk show host, right? Their impeachment is going to turn Trump into a revolutionary to a lot of people in a positive way that will create a movement.
So they've got to understand that this is actually going to help Trump when you see the energy that he has, and then you compare it to Biden at the town hall on CNN. Here you have Trump talking clearly, saying exactly what he's thinking, and you see Biden sounding like he's reading from a Reader's Digest magazine five years ago that he found on the train.
WATTERS: Yeah, lot of energy, lot of charisma last night. He went after Page and Strzok in a pretty interesting foray. Let's listen to that, and Katie can react.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Peter Strzok. Remember, he and his lover, Lisa Page. I love you, Peter. I love you too, Lisa. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, oh, God, I love you, Lisa. And if she doesn't win, Lisa, we've got an insurance policy, Lisa.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Oh, man, lot of targets out there --
KATIE PAVLICH, HOST: Not a totally accurate description of the text messages between them.
WATTERS: Wait, did he dramatized them like Adam Schiff?
PAVLICH: Maybe a little bit. And Lisa Page, actually, ended up testifying against Peter Strzok, and kind of blowing up his story that he told Congress under oath. But in terms of the president and his demeanor and his attitude, one thing he has on Democrats is that he's completely secure with who he is. He doesn't care what he says. Democrats on the other hand have had a very hard time finding their own platform, so there's Joe Biden or Kamala Harris. They have a difficult time defending their positions which is why Elizabeth Warren has changed her so many times.
And so when it comes to getting on the campaign trail with one person, of course, Trump is going after Joe Biden because he still is the front runner. He wants to knock him out to get to Elizabeth Warren because the country sees her as too far left. And so, the energy that he has in a place like Minnesota, which is generally a blue state with 20,000 plus people waiting in line is going to be very difficult for Democrats to compete with in states that don't want to be defending without the amount of cash on hand as the Trump campaign has.
WATTERS: Yeah, they got a lot of data last night from that huge crowd, and they're going to harvest that and, you know, fund-raise and turned them out.
DANA PERINO, HOST: They have a much better chance of flipping Minnesota than other states that they've talked about like Nevada, although New Hampshire, I think, is still in their sights.
PERINO: New Mexico, I think, probably, out of reach. But they might think differently -- everywhere they go, they get all of this data. Some coverage said that this was off script. Like, nope, this is the script. This is it. And, you know, my feelings on this pretty clearly, like I don't think it's necessary to call somebody son a loser. You can question whether they were peddling influence and whether that was inappropriate. And I think that's actually a pretty strong argument. And the Biden's are actually complaining that the DNC isn't defending them enough.
The DNC is like you -- us? Like, you've got to be able to defend yourselves. And they know that this is coming from a long time, and they aren't able to get off their back foot. However, even with all of this in the last three weeks, Biden is still doing pretty well across the boards. So he has staying power. And maybe one -- when people say it doesn't matter when it comes to Trump. Well, maybe it doesn't matter when it comes to Biden.
GUTFELD: Yeah, I mean, there is something -- I hate to use the phrase, baked into the cake, because I hate that phrase. But with Trump, his personality is baked into the cake and Biden's foibles. Everybody knows what's wrong with Biden, but they might just have to bite the bullet on that one.
GUTFELD: They don't have anybody else.
WILLIAMS: No, because --
WILLIAMS: -- they have other people. I mean, I don't think there's any question that the left is unified on the point of defeating Donald Trump, right?
GUTFELD: And also getting rid of Biden.
WILLIAMS: No, I don't think that's true. I think Dana's point is well taken that, you know, the kind of narrative point has been -- oh, Warren's gaining, Biden's fading, right? But, in fact, if you look at the numbers they indicate that her gains are not coming from Biden. Biden remains on top.
PAVLICH: Yeah. But if you take Bernie Sanders out of the polling and you add his far-left voters to Elizabeth Warren, they're not all going to vote for her, but it's actually leapfrogged over Joe Biden's numbers. And you have to question why the Biden campaign continues to say we don't have to win Iowa. We don't have to win New Hampshire. Maybe we're not going to try in those states. And there's this question too, if Joe Biden keep lashing out at the media, well, where's the double standard on that?
You know, Trump says stuff about the media and he's accused of all these things, but Joe Biden sending mean letters to the New York Times and telling them to back off on asking questions about his family, and maybe questions about the campaign --
WILLIAMS: No, no, he didn't say that.
PAVLICH: Yes, he did.
WILLIAMS: No, he didn't. He said he didn't like Peter Schweizer who has, obviously, you know, been involved in making allegations, some unsubstantiated --
PAVLICH: He doesn't like -- he went off on a reporter for having --
WATTERS: The Democrats are complaining about media coverage, Juan. Not a good thing. Not a good thing, Juan.
WILLIAMS: But to Katie's point, Trump says the American press is the enemy of the people.
WATTERS: Yeah, fake news is. Fake news is, all right. More highlights from Trump's rally as he continues to hammer top Democrats over impeachment. Stay tuned for that.
WILLIAMS: Sam Cooke, way to start the weekend. President Trump continues to attack top Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff over the impeachment inquiry. It comes as Republicans are ramping up pressure on Pelosi to hold a formal House vote. Here's more from Trump's rally.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: That crooked Adam Schiff, this guy is crooked. He had to make up a fake conversation that never happened. It was a total fraud. And then Nancy Pelosi said, oh, I think the president said that. These people are sick, I'm telling you. They're sick.
She's either got one of two problems. She's either really stupid, OK? Or she's really lost it, or maybe there's a certain dishonesty in there someplace.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: Dana, to the president's point, he's saying he doesn't like the process, but I think according to the constitution, it's the sole discretion, article one, of the Congress to conduct an impeachment inquiry.
PERINO: True. However, I do think that this White House's strategy of delay, and especially this week by saying this is an illegitimate inquiry, if you look back at the historical record, let's just take the Nixon one for example, you had a unified impeachment staff. So it wasn't Republicans and Democrats separately then coming together. They hire their own staff and it was a mix of Republicans and Democrats. Nixon's lawyer got to sit in. They got to subpoena. They got to interview. I think, as a process point for the White House, that is really good.
The one thing about all this impeachment talk is that it is basically giving cover to the DNC on its debate process, the funding woes that they have. There's a lot of more stories going on that are problems with the Democrats than Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff's issues with the president.
WILLIAMS: Katie, I was thinking, as Dana was speaking, that I think a lot of times in previous episodes of impeachment, the reason they have the vote to start the inquiry was to gain subpoena power. The rules have been subsequently changed so that they don't need it. But, it could be that you say, and I think that this came from Beto O'Rourke this week, just take away the president's talking point, have the vote, because the votes are there.
PAVLICH: Yeah, I mean, if they have the votes they should take the votes and, you know, put their money where their mouth is, and actually do a real impeachment process and issue real subpoenas and get witnesses under oath about what they feel like --
PERINO: Yeah, because they're already on record verbally, so taking a vote shouldn't be hard.
PAVLICH: Well -- and what Democrats don't want to do is open up an official impeachment inquiry because then it gives Republicans some power to do their own digging, and gives them more power than they have now as the minorities on these committees, and it forces Democrats to, actually, to have to work more with Republicans who have been asking questions about Adam Schiff's relationship with this whistleblower who heard the phone call from the White House, for example.
So when it comes to the politics of this, look, Democrats are using impeachment as a political tool against the president in an election year. It gives cover to Democrats on the campaign trail who don't seem to get it together when it comes to their platform. And in the end, it comes down to credibility issue between Donald Trump and Adam Schiff. And given Adam Schiff's record with the Russian investigation, and now the questions about his handling of this complaint, people are going to look twice at whether they should believe what he's saying.
WILLIAMS: OK. So, Greg, if I was to say to you, why are the Democrats impeaching President Trump, would you know the answer?
GUTFELD: Pardon me? Why are they -- why are they impeaching him? Obviously, because they can't beat him. That would be my answer.
GUTFELD: But you knew what I was going to say. That's why you asked that question. I realize what impeachment is. It's like when you're in a relationship that's not working out but you don't have the guts to break it up, so you try to get them to break up with you. That's what this is -- that's what this process is. The Democrats are just hoping that this will just drive Trump crazy enough to say, I've had it. I'm out of here. I'm too good for you, OK? I'm too good. Look at all the great stuff I got you, right?
Lowest unemployment for minorities and women in history. I've got you prison reform. I'm making peace with North Korea. I'm trying to end wars. But you know what? You don't like my personality. You think I'm to mean at the rallies, even though I've been around for three years, OK? I'm out. Good luck with everything, with your Democrat president who's probably going to be an incompetent weirdo.
PAVLICH: But that's not going to happen.
GUTFELD: That's how I would do it.
WATTERS: To Greg's point, I mean, you have him cutting a deal with China that's totally realign the world order in favor of America again after getting shafted by the Chinese for many, many years. It's good for the farmers. It's good for Silicon Valley. Listen, this is phase one, Juan. We just have to paper it. Paper it.
WILLIAMS: You're waving the flag here. Nobody see -- this is like NAFTA, he said, oh, yeah --
WATTERS: NAFTA is collecting dust on Nancy's desk, Juan.
WILLIAMS: For a reason.
WATTERS: What's the reason? Because she doesn't want to give Trump a victory, and that's the reason. The point is, is they can like scurry around on impeachment, and subpoena, and do everything in the dark, and Trump is sitting there with the Chinese premier hammering out a deal with benefits the country and they're really setting themselves up for the do- nothing Democrats. They do nothing on infrastructure or asylum loopholes or anything that benefits the American people.
And Trump is out there cutting deals trying to help the U.S. economy, trying to help families, and they're not doing anything. And everything they are doing is covert. You can't see it, it's behind closed doors, and it denies minority rights. And if you look --
WILLIAMS: As you know -- you know that, in fact, this is the way the constitution is set up that the House acts like a grand jury --
PAVLICH: OK, then do it.
WILLIAMS: Then give Trump his constitutional --
WATTERS: It's in his rights to look at the evidence --
WILLIAMS: The Senate is going to be there. The Senate will have the opportunity --
WATTERS: Oh, good. We'll call in Joe.
WILLIAMS: You know, it's a political process, and I think --
GUTFELD: Or a ploy.
WILLIAMS: -- I don't see the wall. I don't see health care. You say, oh, Trump's doing --
GUTFELD: It's a political strategy to solve a political problem.
WILLIAMS: All right, NBC struggling to contain the fallout of a rape allegation, very serious, made against former host Matt Lauer. All of this as Ronan Farrow, the author, continues to drop even more damaging details. You'll hear it right here on The Five.
PERINO: As the bombshell book that reportedly has NBC executives terrified. And now, Catch and Kill author Ronan Farrow is revealing more damaging details alleging that the network paid out multiple settlements involving Matt Lauer before the host was fired in 2017.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RONAN FARROW, AUTHOR: What we show in this book, with the paper trail, with documents, is that there were multiple secret settlements and nondisclosures being struck with women at NBC News.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But those were after the fact. Weren't they the two nondisclosures?
FARROW: Nope, years before, over a period of six to seven years. A period in which NBC had previously denied --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: On Matt Lauer?
FARROW: -- any settlements. There were seven nondisclosure agreements, multiple ones of those were with Matt Lauer accusers. This is years before this incident with Brooke Nevils and the firing.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Farrow also detailing how NBC spiked his story on Harvey Weinstein.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
FARROW: They ordered a hard stop to reporting. They told me and a producer working on this that we should not take a single call. They told us to cancel interviews. The question for years has been why, because every journalist at that institution didn't understand why? And I think the book answers that question. This was a company with a lot of secrets.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Juan, NBC has been pushing back as best as they can. What they haven't seen -- the book is not out yet until next week, and they've been taking this incoming and preparing for it for a long time. You they're -- got their work cut out for them.
WILLIAMS: Oh, no doubt. To my mind, Dana, I don't understand why they haven't gone to outside legal counsel. Get somebody with, you know, hands that are not involved with NBC and said, here's somebody else. Take a look. Let's see what we find. I think that would give added credibility because what Ronan Farrow is saying is that there were in-house investigations done by people who were keeping their own secrets. These are some of the executives were having -- were forcing women into having affairs and the like.
So, I just think that, you know, it's a nasty mess. I would like to have - - to see them take a step in an aggressive manner to clear the deck -- extend that to why this story on Harvey Weinstein was killed. Because, again, they say he didn't have it. He didn't have the sources. He didn't have people named or willing to go on the record. Seven weeks later is it that the New Yorker publishes the story.
To me, that's -- it doesn't put it on Ronan Farrow. He's got to be right. But it does raise the question -- wait, in seven weeks he got all that done? That's a lot.
PERINO: Lots of questions being raised, Jesse.
WATTERS: Yeah. And Lauer, hopefully, is gonna answer some soon. He's been in talks with a few people to get his story out there, because, I mean, he must be dying to talk about this.
PERINO: I should mention Ronan Farrow did say in one of these interviews that he was asked, did you talk to Matt Lauer, and he said I can tell you that his thinking is represented in this book.
WATTERS: Interesting. Well, and I'm sure there's some anti-Matt Lauer sources also in the book, too. It looks like a pretty comprehensive book, and it looks like now things people did and said years ago are now coming to light. This guy, up and armor, or I think his name is -- what is he, the president or vice president? Now has writings from when he was at Harvard. They were a little too -- I guess maybe misogynistic the people were pointing to, and there's a little bit of a brushfire growing among the staff at NBC, which they obviously have to contain because of those things can get out of control.
But, you know, when you talk about all these old MDA's, or these old incidents that get reported to human resources, when these things happen in companies they handled them the best they can, and it's not always a thermonuclear war. Sometimes it's a smaller incident. And they try to do what's best for everybody involved. And maybe it's not handled perfectly, but I think they do the best job. And, you know, years later, looking back, if there is a pattern, that's just going to blow up in your face.
PERINO: Greg, do you think Hollywood is going to make a movie about this book?
GUTFELD: That's a great question because I think they've made a few movies about some scandals already. I haven't seen and I don't know anything about them. It is -- but the point is interesting. The news industry is kind of in a weird vice or conflict in the sense that they are filled with this sordid scandal, yet they have to report the sordid scandal because it gets eyeballs, right?
We've been talking -- the book is not even out and I feel like I've read the book --
PERINO: I know.
GUTFELD: -- because we've been doing free promotion for this book every single day. So clearly, people like to hear about it. And why do people like to hear about it? Couple of things -- books sell books, famous name, sex, and scandal. You put it all together and then you have a guy like Matt Lauer saying, well, wait, wait, wait, no due process, is like -- everybody is like, hey, sorry, we understand but this is a big story.
I am curious about what he's going to do next. Like, what do you do? If you believe that you are innocent, right? And you've got the money, do you just move away because your career is absolutely ruined. He will never get another job in media, right? I don't think so. Being called a rapist, You just move and like leave to France where nobody cares about who you are, what you do, or do you take all your money and you fight until you're broke.
PAVLICH: He is denying the accusations--
GUTFELD: Then he's got it.
PAVLICH: And detailing, very detailed about what actually happened and saying that it was consensual.
PAVLICH: So, he is fighting back in that sense.
GUTFELD: But he's got to do more, right?
PAVLICH: Yes. But I mean the book is about two things, it's about NBC squashing sexual misconduct stories. It's about executives covering it up, paying--
PERINO: And then Harvey Weinstein gets involved.
PAVLICH: Right. And the other big side of the story that's not getting as much attention is the attack that he says on the First Amendment because he's been followed around, he's been intimidated, people have tried to stop the book from being published and that's his other take on this.
WATTERS: He mentioned that Harvey Weinstein hired Mosad agents.
PAVLICH: Yes. So that's also a big part of his--
WATTERS: Follow him and--
PAVLICH: It's exposing all this, but also talking about the consequences that can be faced for journalists, not just him, but people who expose sort of things about powerful people.
WILLIAMS: You know what struck me as big here that we're not talking about is the whole title of the book Catch and Kill, which is that somehow NBC was in a deal with National Enquirer to not do anything about Harvey Weinstein. So, they wouldn't do anything about Matt Lauer. That is corruption. I talk about protecting the rich and privileged.
PERINO: Well, we'll find out more when the book comes out.
GUTFELD: We did talk about that the first time it happened.
WILLIAMS: No, no, I said here today.
GUTFELD: Well, I talked about it two days ago.
PERINO: We have talked about it all week but we--
GUTFELD: Yes, I'm sick of talking about it.
PERINO: Move over Hillary, Democrats are now begging Chelsea Clinton to get into politics. That's coming up in the Fastest 7.
PAVLICH: Welcome back. It's time for the Fastest 7. First up, well Hillary toys with a Trump rematch. It could be Chelsea who ends up running in 2020. Democrats are reportedly begging her to run for Congress in New York after the unexpected retirement of a longtime congresswoman in that district, so Jesse would Chelsea be able to bring the Clinton dreams back?
WATTERS: That's a nightmare. Chelsea does not have any charisma. And I don't like to talk about people like that, but I will.
PAVLICH: Run for Congress.
WATTERS: She just does not have it like her father has it. Her mother almost has it and she's not even close. Have you ever heard her speak? Have you ever seen her on camera? It's a total mess. She's got no energy. She got nothing. She's probably a sweet person, probably a very nice person. Probably great mom. Probably great wife. But in terms of a leader or someone that you can gravitate to and say, yes, onward, let's go, let's turn them out. No.
GUTFELD: You should be a personal coach.
PAVLICH: Yes. Really inspiring.
PAVLICH: Juan, do you think Chelsea Clinton should run for Congress.
WATTERS: Don Junior on the other hand, lot of energy.
PAVLICH: There we go.
WILLIAMS: Oh my God.
PAVLICH: That's Juan.
WILLIAMS: All right. I mean I have two thoughts about this. One, because of what Jesse just said, it makes me think this is speculation that's being pushed by Republicans to raise money for whoever the Republican nominee might be to replace--
WATTERS: That's wing conspiracy.
WILLIAMS: It might be hard, but the second thought is that I don't even know that she lives in that district. But if she does, if she moved up there, I don't know. I don't know what kind of candidate she would be. The name ID, tremendous. I imagine that there would be some people who are just Clintonista's who would want to give her some money. But at this point this is pure speculation. I think it really is more to the joy of people on the Right, who especially can't stand her mom.
PAVLICH: Well, there is some competition Dana on the Left for that seat. There are a number of people thrown their names in the hat. It used to be a Republican.
PERINO: Yes, let them try. Right. So, when they say Democrats are begging her to run, you don't need to beg, you're not going to lose that seat. You don't have to have Chelsea Clinton come in to win it for you. Why do you let somebody else give it a shot? There's lots of people out there. You don't always have to have the same people running over and over again as Barbara Bush once said.
PAVLICH: It's like prom king and queen. It doesn't have to be the same people over and over again.
GUTFELD: I hate that when name recognition is a form of entitlement. That's what this is. It's like what celebrities write children's books and they think that they're writers. You're not a writer if you write a children's book, OK. It's not - anybody can write a children's book even children do it. It's like this running for office like when - what's your name again Chelsea? Well, she's running for office, it's because she doesn't want a real job. She just wants a real job. She thinks her name is the resum,. It's not.
PERINO: Also, they're wealthy.
PAVLICH: She has said that she is not interested.
WILLIAMS: That's what she said.
WATTERS: You wrote Dr. Seuss. Who was that guy?
GUTFELD: Dr. Seuss.
WATTERS: He has a PhD, Dr. Seuss.
PAVLICH: Speaking of--
GUTFELD: Did you see that movie about Star Wars, what was it called?
PAVLICH: Working getting a job. Up next, 40 percent of workers say they are close to hitting their breaking point due to the pressures of their jobs. Here are some of the top things workers complain about doing including excessive workload, lack of recognition, pay rate, work colleagues and the work itself. Greg, which is your top breaking point?
GUTFELD: OK. First of all, if your job doesn't risk you losing a finger and I are being publicly shamed by the media because you're a police officer, you shouldn't be complaining. But there are some tips. I have some solutions. Always start tomorrow's work before you go home, so you have a head start and you are looking forward to finishing it and then develop an interest in a hobby that allows for some improvement. So again, you have something to look forward to that is how you deal with work stress.
WATTERS: Life coach, Greg Gutfeld.
PAVLICH: This is all. Dana--
GUTFELD: Of a book, I'm writing.
WATTERS: Not a children's book.
GUTFELD: Not a children's book.
PAVLICH: Children's book.
PERINO: Some companies now have lots of snacks out there for you and everything, like I just don't know what everybody is complaining about.
WATTERS: Frozen yogurt.
GUTFELD: What about candles.
PERINO: I think it's noise.
GUTFELD: What about candles?
PERINO: Candles. Absolutely.
GUTFELD: Somebody with a candle in your office--
PERINO: But noises--
PAVLICH: That's not like a workload.
GUTFELD: No, I think somebody has a candle on our floor that stinks up the floor, Pete Hegseth.
PAVLICH: All right, Juan. What do you think about--
WATTERS: Pete Hegseth has candles.
GUTFELD: He has a big candle that stinks.
PAVLICH: No, the Secret Service has a candle.
GUTFELD: No, I didn't mean that.
PAVLICH: In the service box outside of the White House. They burn it all the time. It smells very nice. WILLIAMS: Yes, but that's the idea. Right, but it outdoors.
WATTERS: Hegseth has a burn bag.
WILLIAMS: All right. I think a lot of people feel stressed out these days and I wonder about it because I think if you enjoy your work it's not that stressful, but if you don't enjoy it, if there's pressure and I think the pressures come from two things especially these days. The social media, electronic communication never stops.
WILLIAMS: So, people are always like oh do this, can you fill out this. Can you come in. OK, the number two thing I think is people feel because of income inequality they are always like I've got to keep up with the Joneses. I've got to make more money, I've got to do this, so why don't I have a second source of income. And I just like I think it makes people crazy.
GUTFELD: Well, robots will take care of that.
WILLIAMS: Oh my God.
PAVLICH: And then no one will have to work it out. It won't be stressed out at all.
PERINO: President Yang will help us.
GUTFELD: Pursue our creativity.
PAVLICH: So, Jesse.
GUTFELD: Making candles.
PAVLICH: People say that Monday is their most stressful day of the week. I love Mondays. I think Monday is the best day of the week.
WATTERS: Yes, I don't have a stressful day. Sunday, maybe stressful.
WATTERS: So, Saturday and Sunday are stressful for me.
GUTFELD: You create stress for everybody.
WATTERS: That's right.
PAVLICH: All right, will this stress some people out. Could you not survive doing laundry for five days? It happened to a town in North Carolina residents there, were asked to give up washing clothes because of issues with the water system. Jesse, how often do you do laundry?
WATTERS: Constantly. I do a lot of dry cleaning and laundry.
WATTERS: Yes, but I mean--
PERINO: Dry cleaning is not doing laundry.
WATTERS: I fold and put away. I stuff and I load but that doesn't - forget it. Why are they not doing laundry, I don't get it--
PAVLICH: Because they--
PERINO: They had to clean up the pipes.
WATTERS: I mean you have enough clothes to last five days a week. You just got to buy more clothes.
GUTFELD: That's just means for you one pair of sweats.
WATTERS: Allen Iverson never did laundry. He just bought new clothes wherever he went.
PAVLICH: So that's the solution. Just buy new clothes. Juan.
WILLIAMS: Well, that seems pretty crazy. Well, I mean but you know what, I understand it's a community issue, so go for it. But as long as people are washing themselves, I'm cool.
PAVLICH: Dana, do you have any comments about--
PERINO: Local communities do have a problem with infrastructure. We really do need an infrastructure week because the pipes need to be replaced.
WATTERS: So, this week.
WILLIAMS: Not here.
PAVLICH: It's every week actually.
WATTERS: Every week, every week.
PAVLICH: Yes, Greg.
GUTFELD: No laundry for five days are basically asking everybody to live like a 15-year-old.
GUTFELD: 15-year-old stink, they smell, they're sloppy. They're not good.
WILLIAMS: Yes, but their moms do their laundry.
WATTERS: That's true.
GUTFELD: Piles of laundry.
PAVLICH: Not that they do their chores. All right. Stick around because Fan Mail Friday is up next.
GUTFELD: That is so true. Fan Mail Friday, we're answering your questions. First one from somebody. If you had the ability to make one new trend and make it instantly popular, which is a good question for Frenchie, what would it be Katy.
PAVLICH: Bring your dog to work.
GUTFELD: I wish you swore instead. Foul mouth. Dog lover. Juan.
WILLIAMS: Well, as someone who thinks he's - my wife at least thinks I'm going deaf. I would think that you know what I like is this new trend where you can call up a song, like on Alexa.
WILLIAMS: And then they give you the lyrics. So, like lots of times you're singing along to a song and you really aren't singing the right words.
PERINO: Especially girls.
PAVLICH: You have an Alexa in your house?
PERINO: Oh! No. Katie don't comment.
PAVLICH: No, you know what you should do with that.
WILLIAMS: Tell me.
PAVLICH: Throw it away.
GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse.
WATTERS: You remember how back in the good old days, you definitely remember because you're a lot older than I am. Remember when everybody when they used to go out in public like the trains or the planes, they would wear nice clothing, a suit.
WATTERS: Maybe a hat, briefcase, shine shoes, maybe we could bring that back a little bit.
GUTFELD: I think that would be nice. Maybe folded newspaper under your arm.
WATTERS: A cane.
GUTFELD: A pipe, a cane. Maybe a handgun or just a holster.
GUTFELD: Bring back the Monaco.
WATTERS: Lot of accessories.
PERINO: I was going to say something about noises.
GUTFELD: Yes, of course you are.
PERINO: I just think that everybody should make all their phones totally silent. That'll be a great trend. Like I don't need notifications, that'll be a cool trend.
GUTFELD: I think a good trend would be to appreciate people who are not as tall as others. That would be a nice trend. We are in a society that prides height more than a track than any kind of ethnicity. All right.
WATTERS: Not your own group.
GUTFELD: I want my own group. What is one book that everyone should read before leaving the world. And do not say a children's book. Jesse.
PERINO: And the Good News Is.
GUTFELD: And the Good News Is by Dana Perino. Jesse.
WATTERS: I was going to go Hobbit obviously, great read. Cover to cover.
PERINO: Over and over again.
WATTERS: Over and over. It's a great book.
GUTFELD: That's my memoir actually. Yes, memoir. Why is the R so screwed up in that, Katie?
PAVLICH: I don't know. I didn't write it.
GUTFELD: What book - OK, before you die, you've got to read this book.
PAVLICH: Before you die, you have to read this book.
PAVLICH: I don't have a specific book, but I would say a book related to what you believe in, in terms of the afterlife. So, if it's the Bible, read the Bible. The Torah, read that, that's Quran. But choose something that can maybe get you through the fear of death.
WILLIAMS: Wow, I didn't see that coming from you.
PAVLICH: I don't like dying. I mean come on. What else you're supposed to read.
GUTFELD: Jim Thompson.
WILLIAMS: Well, I mean I think as an American I think you should read Huck Finn. I don't think there is any question. But I also think you should read Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. And you know to me, I also think that there is some great biographies out there, but I mean you can pick someone that inspires you.
PAVLICH: Same, as an American author.
GUTFELD: Dana, you didn't really give an answer.
PERINO: I did, I said And the Good News Is.
GUTFELD: So, you're actually going to suggest your own book.
PERINO: I think that everybody should read the Gutfeld monologues.
GUTFELD: All right. That's good.
PERINO: People when they die.
GUTFELD: It's actually in paperback and it's pretty good. I was going to go with something very intellectual like Helmut Shoeck's Envy. Did you ever read that?
GUTFELD: Look it up, Helmut Schoeck Envy. It's a really good book. Makes me seem smart. I don't know if I read it. But anyway, I did read it. I think I did read it. This is a good question. Did you ever go to detention in high school? If yes, what for.
PAVLICH: I was falsely accused of cutting the lunch line in middle school. And I've got taken out of line by the teacher and I sat at the front of the lunchroom the entire hour and cried.
WILLIAMS: They let you eat?
WILLIAMS: You couldn't eat.
GUTFELD: That's brutal.
PAVLICH: I didn't even cut.
GUTFELD: Dana, you never went to detention.
PERINO: Yes. I did remember is because of my friend Traci Schilling, we tried to skip school and then they got caught. And I had to go to detention.
GUTFELD: Yes, and then you killed that drifter.
PERINO: I said I was going to do some afterschool activity and I got busted.
GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse, do you even remember the number of times.
WATTERS: There are a few times, but one time was I guess it was like one of the first weeks of school and there was a new kid and I had a marble in my hands, and I was just lobbing marble.
GUTFELD: Why am I not surprised you're picking up a new kid.
WATTERS: I hit him a few times, but no, it gets better.
GUTFELD: It gets better. It gets better and sets the logo. That's what they say to bullies.
WATTERS: So, at the end of the class, the kid who was new came up to me and at point blank range went whack and just threw the marble right, it hit right in the temple and for the whole class. So, I punched him and then I got in trouble and he got in trouble too. We both.
GUTFELD: This is a terrible story.
PERINO: I didn't admire him.
GUTFELD: This is a terrible story.
WATTERS: We ended up being friends. We ended up being friends.
GUTFELD: Juan, should I even ask, or should we just kill this segment right now?
WILLIAMS: I went to detention once because I got caught in a girl's dorm.
GUTFELD: I should have ended it. I have a story that involves my history teacher Pete Gort who's watching but we'll save it for another day. One More Thing.
WATTERS: It's time now for One More Thing. Greg.
GUTFELD: All right, The Greg Gutfeld Show tomorrow night. I got Walter Kirn, great writer, Mark Stein, great writer too, Kat Timpf, Tyrus 10 PM tomorrow night Saturday. And then there's still tickets for my Omaha show tomorrow night, go to ticketomaha.com.
I'll be there with Tom Shillue. And now it's time for Greg's bunny eating a strawberry news. We don't get enough of this stuff do we. Take a look at this and the bunny eating a strawberry news. Just take a look at this and let it wash over you like a beautiful cloud of joy. Can you find anything more irresistible than that Dana? There's nothing quite like that. Look at the little bunny eating a strawberry. It is really cute.
PERINO: I'm glad that it spoke to you.
GUTFELD: It did speak to me. I'm going to be doing that from now on.
WATTERS: Dana is running for the weekend. And Greg, you know what I noticed on your tour dates. The cities kind of overlap with Diamond and Silks' chitchat tours. Is there anything you want to tell? GUTFELD: No.
GUTFELD: I have nothing to say.
WATTERS: Just giving you an opportunity.
GUTFELD: You're just going to--
WATTERS: Same city, same dates.
WILLIAMS: Can I stay home?
WATTERS: You're not getting tickets, Juan. Watters World 8 PM. I decided to go back on the streets because I had to ask people about Ukraine and about impeachment and Adam Schiff. Here's a taste.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: What do you think of when you look at his face?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He's ugly.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Wasn't he Dancing with The Stars the other day.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Stiff.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Adam Split.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sandler.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: All right. So, there it is. And we'll--
PERINO: Bring you back the classics.
WATTERS: I had to do it. Juan.
GUTFELD: I had to.
WATTERS: I had to do it.
WILLIAMS: All right. Reagan, my daughter is having her birthday on Monday, so I thought I'd give her a shout out tell her how much I love her and call attention to her work as a board member of the National Parks trust. Here are some pictures of Ray Ray and her husband Patrick in Bald Mountain Pond in Maine. It's part of the Appalachian Trail. The Trust recently bought this virgin land from a timber company and they donated it to the National Park Service, all part of an effort to protect America's natural beauty.
Since 83, they've had - acquisitions giving the National Park Service 30,000 acres in 31 states. I'm so proud to see my beautiful daughter who works as a lawyer in touch with America, the Beautiful.
PAVLICH: That's so cool.
WATTERS: Beautiful people. Dana Perino.
PERINO: All right when one Ohio teenager came home from school this week, it was a shattered sliding glass door. But he didn't know what he was going to find inside. But it was big boy.
The Billy goat, he was found taking a nap in the Knightley (ph) family's bathroom after ramming his way in earlier in the day. The security camera caught the goat making its way into their home after having escaped a week prior from a local farm that was several miles away, two county deputies tried to bait the goat from the bathroom using carrots, a dog bone and grass. They finally got a Mountain Cat. Jennifer Knightley (ph) told the local paper, my house definitely smells like a goat farm but there's nothing you can do but laugh.
GUTFELD: Don't bait the goat.
PAVLICH: They need some candles.
GUTFELD: It sounds dirty.
PAVLICH: All right. Officers from this Oklahoma police department met one of their most impressive recruits recently. Take a look.
PAVLICH: All right so during that Edmond Police Department's coffee with the cop, 3-year-old Carson showed up with a full uniform ready to protect and serve. He was excited to show off his gear including a police whistle to the sergeant. There are Lt. Paul Phillips there and he joked to a little boy Carson that he now outranks him and he's already taking his job. So, there you go. Very cute. Coffee with the cop with Carson.
WATTERS: Beautiful. All right, Dana, you're ready for the weekend.
WATTERS: All right. Can't come soon enough. All right. That's it for us. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend everybody.
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