President Trump blasts Democrats' impeachment push while at NATO summit

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 3, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Katie Pavlich, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. Five o'clock in New York City, this is "The Five."

President Trump lighting up the world today as impeachment enters a new phase. The House Intelligence Committee expected to vote soon on Chairman Adam Schiff's newly released report. The GOP releasing their own prebuttal report, it says there's no evidence of an impeachable offense and warns that the Democrats are setting a dangerous precedent. Trump sounding off on all of this while he attends the NATO summit in London.

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: I think it's very unpatriotic of the Democrats to put on a performance where they do that. I do. I think it, I think it's a bad thing for our country. Impeachment wasn't supposed to be used that way. I think it's a disgrace. I think the Democrats should be ashamed of themselves. The Republicans have never been stronger, never been more unified. The Democrats have gone crazy.

PERINO: The president saving more harsh words for Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Chairman Adam Schiff.

TRUMP: Adam Schiff is a deranged human being. I think he grew up with a complex for lots of reasons that are obvious. I think he's a very sick man, and he lies. Adam Schiff made up my conversation with the president of Ukraine. Nancy Pelosi knew he was lying, and she went on her show, Stephanopoulos, and she said he told the truth; so, she was lying, too. These people are deranged.

PERINO: Greg, the president over there in the U.K. trying to do some business, but he's got to deal with politics back home.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, the question is, is this unpatriotic? And so, I was thinking about that for quite a while, Dana, because I like to think.

PERINO: You got a lot of time to do that.

GUTFELD: All right. Is it unpatriotic to undo an election in a process that started the day after the election? Yeah, I'd say that's unpatriotic. Trying to cancel the votes of half the country to soothe your emotional damage because daddy hurt you, that's unpatriotic. It says a lot about your emotional state. Proceeding with this circus knowing that there is a split in the country, that half the country's against it, yeah, it's unpatriotic because you know -- could it create widespread discontent, and perhaps, economic collapse? Yeah, I would say that's unpatriotic. So, you're pursuing all of this rather than participate in an election that you started, you started this process three years ago and it's all because you feel bad inside. You're putting your feelings before the country. That's unpatriotic.

PERINO: Adam Schiff, though, Juan, says in his report that the president broke -- he's talking about bribery. And then in particular, they spent a lot of time in a report talking about the president obstructing the process.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Indeed. And it's interesting, you know, picking up on what Greg was talking about, from the Democrats perspective, they're more interested in 2020 than they are in 2016, because what they're saying is that this president was soliciting foreign nations interfering in the upcoming election. So, to me, it's like you have two reports out today, Dana, one from the Republicans, one from the Democrats. And it's like alternate realities. It's like listening to me and Greg on this show. And, you know --

GUTFELD: But it's real.

WILLIAMS: It's real. And you have the GOP saying, hey, there's not enough evidence here for impeachment. Where is the hard evidence? Where are the direct testimony from anybody about a quid pro quo, bribery, whatever? And then you have the Democrats come out and they say this unbelievable, unprecedented obstruction of justice and obstruction of an impeachment process, telling people not to come testify before an equal branch of government, the Congress; keeping documents away from Congress. And we have a call log and that was the one thing that really struck me, the Republicans are really all about the political argument. The Democrats offer some factual base and saying here are call logs that demonstrate how Devin Nunes, who's the lead Republican on House Intel, was involved with Rudy Giuliani, the president's lawyer with the president, with Lev Parnas, this guy who's been indicted for financial campaign abuse.

PERINO: Yeah, they had the call logs, but they don't have what they said.

WILLIAMS: But it sure looks bad.

KATIE PAVLICH, GUEST CO-HOST: I think it's interesting that Adam Schiff, the chairman, was looking at phone calls made by the ranking member who is supposed to be working with on this committee to come to some kind of agreement about how to move forward. So, it's obvious from --

PERINO: No love lost there.

PAVLICH: Yeah. They certainly won't be getting along in the future. But it is interesting how Adam Schiff claims that he has all of this information to move forward with the process. It's urgent that they get it to the Judiciary Committee and they will continue to investigate even after it's handed over, while also admitting that they don't have all of the information, that they haven't interviewed key people that were named in this testimony who haven't spoken to him. And it's very clear that Schiff doesn't have the confidence to go through the court system to try and find out if he has the authority to haul people like Secretary Pompeo --

PERINO: Right. They went straight to obstruction without going to court. Jesse, I'm sure you have a lot of thoughts on this.

JESSE WATTERS, CO-HOST: Well, I mean, we're talking about impeaching the president and Juan is talking about call logs. Think about that. We were promised high crimes and misdemeanors and Juan is talking about a call log. Come on, Juan. You went home to Thanksgiving. No one's talking about Ukraine. My liberal mother's not talking about Ukraine. The whole thing backfired. If you look at every single swing state, impeachment is now underwater. This unified Republicans more than it unified Democrats. Democrats are broke. The DNC has no money. Republicans are raising money like I'm not going to say it. They're raising a lot of money. And now they're trying to play all these tricks like they did with Kavanaugh. All of a sudden, Ambassador Sondland gets hit with not one, not two, but three sexual harassment allegations in the middle of all this. And you have Trump over there with Melania looking very striking, meeting with world leaders, fresh off killing Baghdadi and unifying NATO against the Russians. And then you have Adam Schiff passing this scam to little Jerry Nadler, who's supposed to carry it across the finish line. I just don't see how this thing is going to stick. And even swing state Democrats know it because they're whispering about ways to get out of having to vote for this now.

PERINO: But now, Greg, the Democrats are kind of in this box, right? If they don't go forward, their base is going to be furious. But if they do go forward, they could pay the price at the ballot box in the swing states.

GUTFELD: I think we predicted this, didn't we? We saw this coming. I, for one, hope they continue with this because, you know, it's something to talk about on The Five during the slow days. But I do feel that -- I refuse to be led by the nose by Schiff with these fake little like inquiries, reports and whatnot. It's all -- to your point, it's all much ado about nothing. Something I think I coined. But one thing I want to say about watching Trump today in these meetings: his mantra is they owe us money, right? So, everything he does is on behalf -- he's like, he's our agent. He's America's agent in a meeting. And he's such a jerk, but he's our jerk. Did you see how we dealt with the Canadian -- ?

PERINO: Trudeau.

GUTFELD: He treated him as though he was the manager of a golf course owned by Trump. Can you tell us, what did we work out here? What is it you owe us? And he made -- what's his name again?

PERINO: Trudeau.

GUTFELD: Trudeau is going like, oh, let me go through this. I think we've got to 70 percent. And he's like basically saying, yes, sir. It was like Celebrity Apprentice. I mean, it was interesting to see that everything he does is on behalf of America. He's that uncomfortable person who goes up to somebody and says, you owe us money.

WILLIAMS: The other side of this was to watch him deal with the French prime minister where you saw, you know, it was to me, like he was lecturing Trump. I thought Trump in that exchange looked like you think that this is about terrorism. No, I think it's about not fear because you didn't pay me the money. Actually, you guys are paying -- but we're getting other people and we've done so much better. And NATO is going to fold. And he's like what is NATO for. Is it for terrorists or is it for Russians? And the president could not agree.

PERINO: Well, but I do think that perhaps Macron had a little -- I don't know if he planned it or not, but the president's been quite critical of NATO. Then Macron was critical of NATO, called it braindead in the presence that. How dare you say that? NATO's amazing.

PAVLICH: But now they have the president saying NATO's amazing, so maybe everybody wins. All right, shockwaves throughout the 2020 field. Kamala Harris drops out of the presidential race. More to come on that state with "The Five."


WILLIAMS: Welcome back. Time for our 2020 roundup. First up, a major shakeup in the 2020 field. California Senator Kamala Harris has dropped out of the race. She told supporters in an email that she is "not a billionaire, and therefore can't fund her own campaign." Ms. Harris entered the race as a major force on the campaign trail. You recall she had a huge crowd in Oakland. But she failed to capitalize on that early enthusiasm and plummeted in the polls. Here is a look back.

SEN. KAMALA HARRIS, DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Hey guys, you know what? America does not want to witness a food fight. They want to know how we're going to put food on their table. There was a little girl in California who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools, and she was bussed to school every day. And that little girl was me.

FEMALE SPEAKER: But the way --

HARRIS: Join me -- join me in saying that his Twitter account should be shut down.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Now, let's figure out --

HARRIS: No? We need to have Medicare for all. That's just the bottom line. Who of us have not had that situation where you've got to wait for approval and the doctor says, "Well, I don't know if your insurance company is going to cover this"? Let's eliminate all of that. Let's move on.

MALE SPEAKER: Have you ever smoked?

HARRIS: I have.


HARRIS: And I -- and I --


HARRIS: And I inhaled. I did inhale. [laughs] It was a long time ago, but yeah.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, one of the things that she said in an interview, I think it was for The Axio [spelled phonetically] says she wonders if the elephant in the room is that America is not ready for a black [UNINTELLIGIBLE] to be president.

WATTERS: Well, I think that's what people say when they fail. They blame something superficial. And I think America was ready for it because she was one of the most hyped candidates, her and Beto. They got all the hype, and now both of them flamed out long before Iowa. She has no core. I read the New York Times article about her. She couldn't think of the name for her own memoir so she poll tested the name of her memoir. She literally poll tested herself. She doesn't know who she was. And she couldn't run her campaign, very dysfunctional. There's an old saying, "If you can't run a campaign, you can't run the country." And --

PERINO: Is that your saying?

WATTERS: -- two major mistakes that she made.

WILLIAMS: I think he directed that at you.

PERINO: Yes, I know, I'm getting a lot of those.

WATTERS: You might have heard that before in Washington, Dana. She -- the two major mistakes I think she made when she said, "Oh, we'll just -- we'll just get rid of it," when she was talking about private insurance. And then she didn't capitalize when she had the momentum when she knocked out Joe. The second debate, she just totally disappeared, and then so did her poll numbers.

WILLIAMS: So, by the way, Dana, picking up on what Jesse just said, if you were looking at this through a hard-eyed political lens, you might say she wasn't a good candidate, and she didn't run a good campaign.

PERINO: Well, then them's the breaks. I mean, that's it basically, the two basic things that you need. And I also think that this is a reminder. Senators usually do not make presidential candidates, and they rarely win elections, or I think-- I don't know when the last time was. And if you look at this field, you have a lot of senators. And she managed a terrible campaign. There was so much dissent on the campaign that in the last like six weeks, maybe even eight weeks, there were articles from within the campaign of people saying that they were very unhappy. And you shared some of that on the daily briefing today. No one wants to throw good money after bad. And she -- that's a saying.


PERINO: Heard that.

MALE SPEAKER: I'm writing that down.

PERINO: But the other thing I would say, dropping out now spares her further political embarrassment. She's only 55. She'll go back to the Senate, and now I think that you'll see her re -- reinvent herself yet again. But if she wants to run for president, she's going to have to pick a lane and stick in it.

WILLIAMS: All right, so, Greg, play along with me.


WILLIAMS: I'm going to say she never picked a lane.


WILLIAMS: Because I think --


WILLIAMS: Yes. -- that in fact Sanders and Warren are on the left, right?


WILLIAMS: And then you have -- in the center, you have the mayor, kind of center left. Then in the very center, you have Biden, Klobuchar, Booker maybe.


WILLIAMS: And on -- and then you have the billionaires, Steyer and Bloomberg. But where -- where -- what was the lane for her?

GUTFELD: I think that she didn't try hard enough to find that lane. In fact, I don't -- I felt that she thought any effort was beneath her. I'm actually -- this is the first time I heard about this, how she said that America wasn't ready for her. What a jerk, because America as a population is willing to get behind everybody and everybody. They had a two-term black president. Hillary got more -- got the popular vote.


GUTFELD: And for her to say the reason why I lost is because of you, screw you. You are a big jerk. Now, I had high hopes for her, right?


GUTFELD: I had high -- -- I was one of the first people that -- no. Now, I can't stand this person because what she did -- blaming the American public, because you're a failure, because you didn't work hard enough, that is so pathetic. I mean, she had -- she basically had ticked all the identity boxes.

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: She was a female, black, young leftist, and she couldn't -- she couldn't --

PERINO: Don't forget former prosecutor.

GUTFELD: Former -- because she couldn't galvanize that –

PERINO: Right.

GUTFELD: -- to a winning campaign, that is on her.


GUTFELD: It ain't on the public. I'm glad she's gone.

PAVLICH: And you know who she couldn't galvanize the vote with? Black voters --


PAVLICH: -- in South Carolina. I talked to a number of black Democrats in Virginia who said, "There's no way we're vote for her because she's done more damage to the black community than anybody else on that stage with her record as a prosecutor." And she was never able to defend that. She was using it as a way to go after Trump. But when she was pressed on it, she could never explain why she did the things that she did. She was a follower, not a leader. She got very insecure with her positions. I remember watching her in that series of town halls that CNN did, and Bernie Sanders came out first in the hour before her and said that felons, including prisoners, should be able to vote from prison, including the Boston Bomber. And she's like, "Yeah, sure, maybe." So she changed her position based on what her peers were saying rather than having her own solid foundation of what she believed in.

WILLIAMS: You know, I don't think she was that folksy, you know -- you know, and even on the point that you just made --

PAVLICH: No. It was like a fake folksy, and her laugh, and she just --


PAVLICH: -- tried too hard. I mean she was a phony.

WILLIAMS: Well, I like her and Greg --


WILLIAMS: -- all credit to Greg, Greg was a big fan. He thought she was going to be the --

GUTFELD: I was stupid.

WILLIAMS: Huh? No, no.

GUTFELD: I'm an idiot.

WILLIAMS: No, no. All right, that's --

GUTFELD: She betrayed me.

WILLIAMS: You've got to leave that to me. All right. Next, there will be no malarkey for this next story. Joe Biden, once again denying that he's looking for a game-changing endorsement from his former boss, President Obama, even if the field narrows to just three people. Here's what he told Politico: "No, because everyone knows I'm close with him. I don't need an Obama endorsement." Katie?

PAVLICH: Yes, he does. I mean, his entire campaign is based on his record with Barack Obama, and if he can't get him to endorse you, then what does that mean? But also, I guess maybe he doesn't. Hillary Clinton got Obama's endorsement and still lost, so people voted for President Obama. They don't necessarily vote for people who are endorsed by him.


WATTERS: I think he's going to be begging for an endorsement if there's a brokered convention, which it very well could be. If you have all these people that don't hit the delegate threshold, you get the Obamas and the Clintons in a back room at the DNC in Wisconsin, and they're going to have to pick a ticket, and Biden's going to be on his knees begging Barack, "Pick me."

WILLIAMS: But, Dana, I think the questions are coming about right now, not even convention time.

PERINO: He's not going to. I've said it a hundred times. Barack Obama is not going to endorse –


PERINO: -- any of these candidates. Put it aside. Now, he -- he might decide at a brokered convention, it seems like there's no question. If Bernie Sanders is the possible winner of the nomination, absolutely, President Obama will come in. He's got one shot to be a king maker or a peace maker. He's not going to waste it now.


GUTFELD: Yeah, just because you have somebody like famous in your phone and you go, "Hey, yeah," just show your friends that, "Hey, I can call him anytime." No, you can't. I've tried that drunk. It's a very -- [LAUGHTER] Just because -- like he -- you guys hung out together for eight years, that's not enough.

WATTERS: Oh, no, it's Greg again.


GUTFELD: President, yes, exactly.

PAVLICH: Decline.


WILLIAMS: But, you know, if he did endorse now, Dana, it would be big news. But I just don't see it.

PERINO: He's not going to.

PAVLICH: It's too risky for him to do it now.

WILLIAMS: It wasn't what?

PERINO: It's not necessary, too.

PAVLICH: Yeah, risky.

PERINO: I mean, you have to win on your own. Finally, the Democrats are starting to go after each other in this primary. Let's enjoy it.


GUTFELD: You're a sick person.


WILLIAMS: Oh, my goodness. Prince Andrew's accuser details alleged, shocking abuse in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal. That interview, right here, next on The Five.


WATTERS: President Trump meeting with the major British royalty today, including the queen and Prince Charles. But one royal absence drawing attention is Prince Andrew. He's still facing fallout on his connection to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Last night, Virginia Giuffre, the woman who claims she was forced to have sex with Prince Andrew when she was only 17, spoke with the BBC.

VIRGINIA GIUFFRE: It was disgusting. He wasn't mean or anything, but he got up and he said, "Thanks," and walked out. And I sat there in bed just horrified and ashamed, and felt dirty, and I had to get up and grab a shower. And you know, the next day Ghislaine tells me I did a really good job.

WATTERS: Buckingham Palace is emphatically denying the accusations. All right, Greg, you know, we've covered a lot of these stories in the last year or two.

GUTFELD: [affirmative]

WATTERS: Women come forward, they make their case, not always in the judicial system, but they make their case. How do you find her presentation?

GUTFELD: Well, I didn't watch the whole interview, but I -- to your point, is that this is a public sphere. Sphere?



GUTFELD: Okay. There's no actual process in this. If you were accused of something, you'd want to be in a courtroom where you could clear your name, if that's one thing we learned. And all these people are denying that they slept with this alleged victim, right? So, wouldn't you want to get into the legal, into the courtroom, and clear your name rather than let this go? Because the problem with the media and the public sphere is that we love the salacious part of the story. But when that story gets cleared, we often don't follow up. If there's -- I mean, one thing we learned in the Me Too movement, that accusations turn into a wide spectrum with the real and the awful, to the vague and confusing, to the Julie Swetnicks, right? It just goes from one -- and it's like, and we never really follow up on this stuff. I would -- I mean, there has to be a legal process to deal with this. Should he be charged with something and then he's arrested? Maybe that's how you do it.

PAVLICH: But that's --

WATTERS: And he said he's willing to cooperate with any investigation, Dana.

PERINO: Yeah. Well, so now over to Scotland Yard, right?


PERINO: If they're going to do anything. But the thing is, they did try to go through the legal process. Epstein was arrested, he was in jail, and then he killed himself, or whatever, killed himself.



PERINO: So, now the victims have no way to get justice because the perpetrator is dead, unless -- and I think the key to a lot of this is Maxwell, Ghislaine Maxwell. There was a story like three weeks ago -- it didn't last very long -- that said that she was talking to the FBI.


PERINO: I never saw that again, so I don't know if it's true. Or maybe if it was, they decided to quiet it down. But she seems to me the key to a lot of all of this.

WATTERS: And this alleged victim claims she had sex with Epstein and Maxwell, Katie.

PAVLICH: -- look, I think that the royal family is doing everything they can to do damage control. It doesn't look good when you're pulling him off of all of -- Prince Andrew -- off of all of his public events. And his interview with the BBC went really poorly. He did not do a good job of defending himself; in fact, he didn't offer any sympathy at all for any of Epstein's victims. The palace has tried to distance themselves, but there is no recourse. I mean, this is the question about victims getting justice somehow. I know that this week the Department -- or, the Department of Justice inspector general, in addition to all the other stuff he's dealing with, has been asked by Republican and Democrat senators to continue and finish his investigation into what happened to Epstein and why, you know, there was no accountability for his whereabouts as one of the most high-profile --


PAVLICH: -- prisoners in the country. Because they've hauled the Bureau of Prisons head up to Capitol Hill a couple of weeks ago and she said, "I'm not going to talk about it because the inspector general is looking into it." So, at the very least, the victims are owed that. And I think that the prince and the family would do well to speak to the FBI so they can say, "We spoke to the authorities. They can take it from here."

WATTERS: How do you see the media difference between two countries, Juan? You have ABC spiked this story here in this country because of the way that it could possibly expose American royalty, aka Bill Clinton, and juxtapose that with how the BBC's gone after this very doggedly when it involves someone from the royal family over there.

WILLIAMS: Well, it's a totally different timeframe because in one case you have -- in all cases, let me just say, you have powerful men.


WILLIAMS: And that goes back to what Greg was talking about, the public sphere. Because guess what? You know, if you see all these powerful, rich, entitled men involved with young women, my gut does not feel sympathy for them. I feel sympathy for these young women. And the young woman, by the way, in this case, Giuffre or whatever, she said she was working as a locker room attendant at Mar-a-Lago, in Trump's property, when Ghislaine Maxwell approached her --


WILLIAMS: -- and then recruits her --


WILLIAMS: -- for these sexual activities.

WATTERS: Right. And what we know is that the president, or Donald Trump at the time, kicked out Epstein from Mar-a-Lago after he got wind of it.

WILLIAMS: Well, I don't know. I'm just saying you got a lot of rich --

WATTERS: But we do know that.

WILLIAMS: -- you got a lot of rich, powerful men. So, when I saw her interview, I thought -- you know, she said she was vulnerable, she said she was easily led, she felt she wasn't chained or locked in, but these powerful people had such influence over her that she did what she was told. And I just felt sympathy for her. But you're right, it's not a court of law.

WATTERS: Year. All right, very interesting. names this word "existential" as the word of the year.


WATTERS: Greg's all fired up about that next.

GUTFELD: I really am.


GUTFELD: All right. named 'existential' it's word of the year. Why not? Not because you used it. It's not because anyone in real life has used it since college. Because if you said existential, it meant you weren't a business major. Hoping for a real life. And by real life, I mean a grown-up life with taxes, bills and brats. That word was picked because desk dwelling media types beat it to death.

FEMALE SPEAKER: The existential scandal that has surrounded the Trump presidency.

FEMALE SPEAKER: He is an existential threat to those American values.

MALE SPEAKER: Donald Trump is such an existential threat to our democracy.

HAKEEM JEFFRIES: President Trump is an existential threat to the future of the United States.

FEMALE SPEAKER: He is an existential threat to the country.

CHRIS CUOMO: They believe is existential, that they need to unseat President Trump.

GUTFELD: Ah, so when faced with good news, just call Trump an existential threat in absence of a real physical threat or should I say a psychological one. Just look at all the measurable stuff, economy, jobs, terror, you see numbers trending positively. That leaves the media with just one option push things that can't be measured to predict gloom and doom. Remember, none of these smarty pants saw the internet as an existential threat to dictionaries or even bother to look up the word in a dictionary. Yet here they are desperately competing for attention while the whole planet ignores them, which is why the Oxford Dictionaries picked Climate Emergency as its word of the year, even though I think it's two. Oxford said its use reflects the ethos, mood or preoccupations of the passing year. Translation: it's what rich elites do as they board planes for a holiday in France. I remember when dictionaries were awesome. They contained words, not the politics of pretentious editors. Now they're just like every other medium full of anxious social climbers straining for relevance. Unlike me, right, Greg?

Existential. Existential, existential. Existential, existential. Existential. It's a very overused term. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential. Existential.

But at least I knew what it meant.


PERINO: That was good.

PAVLICH: I wouldn't have thought you said that --

GUTFELD: I think I used existential when I was talking about ISIS or ironically, but I think would back in when ISIS was beheading people, I was calling it an existential threat. But I told them to look it up because, you know, I'm not a hypocrite, dammit. Juan?



GUTFELD: Juan, is there a word of the year that you would think of as--?

WILLIAMS: Well, I saw that there was some thought about cancel culture.

GUTFELD: Oh, well, that's a good one.

WILLIAMS: You know, because I hadn't heard that before this year. That's that's a hot one. I will say, though, that on the substance of this, I saw that in the report issued today, the Democrats called Trump an existential threat to the rule of law and the Constitution.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PAVLICH: You know what word should have been the word of the year?


PAVLICH: Trump, because you just said it and you said existential in the same sentence. Everybody says Trump 5 million times a day and if they're not saying it, they're thinking about it.

GUTFELD: It's like the weather. It's like Trump has replaced the weather.

PAVLICH: It's like a noun or a verb event or an adjective. It does all the things and that's the word they should have chosen.

GUTFELD: Jesse, is there a word that you use all the time? Not eggheads like me, but, you know, but Don eggheads like you.

WATTERS: You know what I heard a lot this weekend? Disney+. Do you have Disney+? Did you sign up for Disney+? I heard that -- everybody talking about Disney+. Now I'm not getting paid by Disney+, I'm just saying, full disclosure, that's what everyone's talking about.

GUTFELD: I think I've got Disney+ from Goofy. A lot of antibiotics. Dana, what do you make of this? Do you have a theory?

PERINO: Well, after listening to them, I think that this is one of the reasons they didn't win and Trump did win. He uses very plain language that everyone can understand. So he said Hillary Clinton will destroy America and he said it over and over and over again. And they're saying Donald Trump is an existential threat to America. It doesn't have the same punch.


PERINO: So, you have to know how to use language. And this whole thing with the dictionary every year reminds me of the Time Person of the Year, which is that they pick things that will help them get earned media from their peers so that we will then talk about it and make fun of them on The Five.

GUTFELD: Exactly. And everybody writes for the other person in the industry.

PERINO: Totally. The thing I would cancel is-- it's not a word, it's the thing on Twitter that people do. 'I'm not crying, you're crying.' Stop. I can't take that. I can't.

GUTFELD: I just can't. I just can't. But, you know what's common? Everybody says '100 percent instead of 'absolutely' or 'right.' They go --

PAVLICH: I just say 100.

GUTFELD: Really? Hundred percent.

PAVLICH: You don't have to say percent.

PERINO: What about Hondo P?

GUTFELD: What's that?

PERINO: 100 percent. That's what the young people --

GUTFELD: So, here's the word of the year used in a sentence. Do we have that? This is Check this out. And it says, does climate change pose an existential threat to humanity? I mean, they're politicizing everything, including the dictionary.

PERINO: I'm telling you, Greta Thornburgh is going to be Person of the Year on Time magazine. I'm calling it right now.

WATTERS: Good prediction. I like that.

GUTFELD: Next up, the holiday exercise bike that's sparking accusations of sexism and more. Stay tuned.


PAVLICH: It's the holiday ad that's making the internet cringe and igniting cries of sexism. Exercise bike company Peloton facing backlash over this commercial.

MALE SPEAKER: Okay, you ready?




Virtual Instructor: Give it up for our first-time riders.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Good, first ride. I'm a little nervous but excited. Let's do this. Five days in a row. You surprised? I am. 6:00 a.m., yay.

MALE SPEAKER: Rising with the sun.

FEMALE SPEAKER: That was totally worth it.

Virtual Instructor: Let's go Grace in Boston, 50 rides.

FEMALE SPEAKER: She just said my name. A year ago, I didn't realize how much this would change me. Thank you.

Announcer: This holiday, give the gift of Peloton.

PAVLICH: That ad getting universal mockery on Twitter. "It's clear this woman doesn't need a Peloton. She needs a good therapist and a divorce lawyer."


PAVLICH: "The only way to enjoy that Peloton ad is to think of it as the first minute of an episode of Black Mirror." so, Dana, unpopular opinion.

PERINO: Well, I think we need a divorce from Twitter. I loved the ad. And when I first saw it, I was like, "Oh, that's so nice, he got her what she wanted."

PAVLICH: Right, exactly.

PERINO: And then she used it, and she was letting him know, a year later, like, "I loved it. Thank you so much." And, here is the key: I think it was smart because people that buy exercise equipment -- Greg, you can back me up -- usually only use it for like, what, I don't know, six weeks, and then it ends up --


PERINO: -- in the garage or in the basement, and they never use it again.

GUTFELD: I went with laundry.

PAVLICH: Clothes hanger.

PERINO: Peloton is trying to make the case that if you invest in this bike, which is expensive at $2,500 or whatever, and there's a $40 a month fee, that -- for you to have the classes, that it's worth it because she is going to love it. I don't think it's sexist.


WATTERS: I feel like there's a lot of land mines for me in this story, so I'm going to try something new. I'm going to ask Dana to hold my hand. Dana, if you feel like I'm saying something inappropriate, you squeeze it. And I will then move on to another issue. Okay, ready.


WATTERS: Women want to be in good shape, right?


WATTERS: Then, okay. And men also want women to be in good shape, correct?


WATTERS: And especially your wife because you want her to feel good and be healthy and be in good shape.


WATTERS: And, if you can afford $2,500 to give your wife a gift for Christmas, the woman's pretty happy to begin with, right?

PERINO: Maybe.

WILLIAMS: I don't know.


WATTERS: Yes? Okay. So, what is sexist about giving your wife a Peloton?

PAVLICH: I don't think it's sexist.

PERINO: Wait. Well, done.

WATTERS: Did I get through that?

PERINO: Good job, Jesse.

WATTERS: I didn't say anything wrong there.


GUTFELD: Oh, that was brilliant, and that should be every day from now on. It's going to save you a lot of trouble.

FEMALE SPEAKER: A little shock.

GUTFELD: That is an amazing -- okay.

WATTERS: Thank you.

GUTFELD: This is what -- it's what happens when you have an issue and media, okay? So first, the issue is Peloton. It's just a commercial selling a product, and the woman is happy she got it as a gift. But then when you add the media to it, it becomes misogynist man forces anorexic bride to get even thinner so he could keep her oppressed and prevent her from seeking her real dream as a plus-sized climate activist with a non-cisgendered pronoun.



PAVLICH: That's totally it.

GUTFELD: Yeah, it's --


GUTFELD: -- like I'm no longer left and right. I am like the world and the world plus media. Whenever you add the media to something like this, it turns it into something completely evil.

WATTERS: Good luck. I like that.

PAVLICH: Why -- so it's not a sexist ad. Do you want a Peloton for Christmas?


PAVLICH: Have you told your wife this?

WATTERS: He likes his wife to buy him a Peloton.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, maybe. No.

PAVLICH: Do you want to show the opposite way?

WILLIAMS: No, you know, I understand the criticism, but I'm not saying I don't think it's the media. I think it's Twitter. And so if you want to divorce from Twitter [UNINTELLIGIBLE].

PERINO: Oh, no, there's lots of journalists who also [UNINTELLIGIBLE].

WILLIAMS: I don't know about that. I haven't seen it. But here is the thing. It fits the stereotype, and I don't think it fits Peloton because Peloton is always about, you know, do your best, enjoy it. You know, you can get on this machine, and you don't have to be an Olympic athlete, but you'll do better. Just do your best. And instead, the image of this is one, they're in this extremely fancy, rich house, right?




WILLIAMS: Well, I mean, it makes it seem like, oh, it's for --

PERINO: Well, they know their -- I mean, it's --


PERINO: -- marketing.

WATTERS: These are the people that can afford a Peloton.

WILLIAMS: All right. All right. And I don't -- I think the whole idea is not that everybody wants a thin young wife, and we're going to keep her young and thin. I think it should be, hey, this machine is good for you, good for your health. It'll make you happy, sleep better. I'm all for that.

PERINO: And that's it, Jesse. If you had said it that way --


PERINO: -- I might have screamed. [CROSSTALK]

GUTFELD: Can I try the squeeze thing with Dana. Hold on. Squeeze my hand. I think there are a lot of really ugly people in media who are jealous.



WATTERS: Wow, I thought you were going to go somewhere else.


PAVLICH: I think it's like, thin people work out too.


GUTFELD: If that model is overweight --

WATTERS: Yeah, right?


GUTFELD: -- overweight, they would have accused that guy of --

PAVLICH: Exactly.

GUTFELD: -- going over --

PERINO: Right, right.

PAVLICH: Right, yeah.

WATTERS: Right, trying to slim her down.

PERINO: It's like if Peter bought me a vacuum for Christmas, it might be because we're also getting a new puppy, but we're not getting a new puppy.

GUTFELD: Oh, are you getting a new puppy? Congratulations.

PERINO: I don't know why. I mean, somebody kick me.

GUTFELD: Boy, Jasper --

PERINO: We're not having a new puppy.

GUTFELD: Jasper is going to feel really bad about this. [CROSSTALK]

FEMALE SPEAKER: I don't know why.

GUTFELD: Is it going to the woods?

PERINO: That was the best segment of all the entire day.

PAVLICH: I actually love Peloton, so...

GUTFELD: I'm getting one.

PERINO: Really?

PAVLICH: One More Thing is up next.

GUTFELD: Well, I'm going to get it from my wife.


PERINO: It's time now for One More Thing. I'll go first. A nine-year-old boy in Virginia has raised more than $65,000 and run 120 miles this year to help children battling cancer. So, Matteo Lambert, he began running at seven years old when he participated in his first 5K race. There he is running with a cape. He completed a run and started to sign up for more. He did this for prostate cancer awareness and along with his grandfather. His grandfather is a survivor of the disease. He raised $5,000 for Hopecam. It's a non-profit. You can check them out on Facebook. He's participated in 35 races across 15 states in the U.S. and Canada. Pretty cool kid, don't you think, Juan?


WILLIAMS: Yeah, good kid.

PERINO: You're next.

WILLIAMS: All right. There's no reason to be scared if you don't look. That's what happened to seven-year-old Chandler Moore while he was surfing in Florida on Saturday. The story begins when he mysteriously gets knocked off his surfboard. Only much later does Chandler find out why. Check out, check this out. Here's the very scary reason he was knocked off.


WILLIAMS: Do you see it?



WILLIAMS: Hey, Katie, take a look. That's a shark.

PAVLICH: Oh yeah [affirmative].

WILLIAMS: In August, three people were bitten by sharks in one day at that beach.

[inaudible commentary]

And a white shark weighing more than 1,000 pounds was seen off the coast. But Chandler's dad said that Chandler, who's been surfing since age four, is back in the water. He's a daredevil.



PERINO: [UNINTELLIGIBLE] get back in the water. All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: Feeding frenzy time.


WATTERS: Or drinking frenzy.

[music playing]

One of those [UNINTELLIGIBLE]. All right. So, this is Mountain Dew all the way from Japan. This is very rare Mountain Dew.

PERINO: [laughs]

WATTERS: Okay? This is very exotic.

GUTFELD: Oh my god.

WATTERS: This is by FYE, has provided us this very rare Mountain Dew.


GUTFELD: Holy crap.

PAVLICH: Like a gummy bear.

WATTERS: And it contains vegetable and elderberry juice.

GUTFELD: No, you know what? It's called Violet.

WATTERS: Yes, Violet, Greg. Do you know what an elderberry is?

GUTFELD: It's a very old berry.


WATTERS: Right, yes. Like a Biden berry.

PAVLICH: Is it artificially flavored or real flavored elderberry?

WATTERS: We don't know.

PERINO: Do you like it?

WATTERS: I'm going to try it here.

GUTFELD: It tastes absolutely disgusting.


PERINO: All right.

WATTERS: I love it.

PERINO: Well, I mean, like sometimes, like you might have a different --

WATTERS: I think it's delicious. Thank you, Japan.

PERINO: -- like taste buds [UNINTELLIGIBLE].

GUTFELD: Nobody in Japan is watching this, Jesse.

WILLIAMS: [laughs]

GUTFELD: Nobody.

PERINO: Oh, you don't know. We will hear from them tomorrow. And you're next, Greg.

GUTFELD: Oh, okay. I hear -- so, you're Peloton's being delivered tomorrow.

PERINO: Oh, great. Thanks, Peter.

GUTFELD: They said thanks. No, it was the company.

PERINO: Oh, thanks. Thanks, Peloton.


Appreciate it.

GUTFELD: All right. Let's do this. Greg's cats aren't that smart, news. Yeah, it's true, they're not that smart. Everybody says cats are smart. Take a look at this cat. This was after Thanksgiving. The cat wants pie. Doesn't realize it's got a cover over it, so he just spends -- he was there for two hours trying to get at the pumpkin pie, but it was covered. Now, a smart cat or a dog would have figured out how to take the thing off and eat the pie. But this cat just kept doing this forever.

WATTERS: Total idiot.

GUTFELD: And ended up passing out from nourishment and we won't [UNINTELLIGIBLE] --

PERINO: It's good exercise though, like if you're a cat.

GUTFELD: -- that's their Peloton.

PERINO: [laughs] That is.

GUTFELD: It's called a Pie-oton.


WILLIAMS: I don't know, maybe he was getting off on it. It's like foreplay.

GUTFELD: [laughs]




WILLIAMS: You know.

PAVLICH: Squeeze. Somebody squeeze his hand.



GUTFELD: Somebody squeeze his hand.

WATTERS: Oh my god.

WILLIAMS: [laughs]


PERINO: Katie.

PAVLICH: Anyway, to something more wholesome and kind. Three police officers from the Albany, New York Police Department on Monday shoveled more than a foot of snow for a 99-year-old woman who lives alone. Officers William Pierce, Christopher Stiles and John Schuler saw that they got a lot of snow up in upstate New York, as they do this time of year until what? March? February, March. And they pitched in right away and shoveled all the snow. They posted some of these pictures on their Facebook page and got a lot of nice comments. It went --

PERINO: So nice.

PAVLICH: -- the post went viral.

GUTFELD: Sexist.

PAVLICH: It's been liked more than 3,000 times and shared more than 1,000 times. You know what?

GUTFELD: I guess they assumed --

PAVLICH: Thank you to the cops --

GUTFELD: -- couldn't do it herself.

PAVLICH: -- for doing that.

PERINO: Maybe. But I mean, how rude.

WATTERS: You got to have a snow blower.

PERINO: You know what we should --



-- I think that maybe we should just say congratulations, good luck to Megan Albano --


PERINO: -- the executive producer --


PERINO: -- of "The Five" and "The Daily Briefing."


PERINO: There is going to be a new "Five" baby, either -- well, maybe. Maybe tonight, maybe any moment.


WATTERS: Are we going to have a gender reveal?



GUTFELD: And it won't be pretty, I tell you.

PERINO: She and her husband, Scott, they decided to be surprised as they were with their first, J.J. , who's a beautiful little girl. So, good luck, Megan. We will miss you. We thank you.


PERINO: And yeah, we are really going to miss you.

GUTFELD: It's either Greg or Gregorina.



PERINO: We will miss you very much. Good luck to you and congratulations. All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of" The Five." "Special Report" is up next.

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