President Obama earns dubious distinction

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," July 2, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five".


GUILFOYLE: Well, there's a new poll out on the worst president since World War II. Yes. That's 70 years worth of presidents to pick from.

So, guess who is number one? According to one-third of American voters, it's President Obama. And he's worked hard to earn it, especially recently by defying Congress and subverting the rule of law. Even the Supreme Court just ruled against his overreach.

Well, the president, however, is unfazed by his critics.


BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It's not crazy. It's not socialism.


You know, it's not, you know, the imperial presidency.

So, sue me. As long as they are doing nothing, I'm not is going to apologize for trying to do something.


GUILFOYLE: OK. So that didn't go very well.

Eric, since you've had a troubling hair day, we're going to let you go first.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes, what is with the hair lately today?

So, where did that attitude come from? Wow. Really? I mean, the man who was just voted the worst president since World War II, you would think he would be more humble. What do you mean so sue you? How about do your job so we don't have to sue you and stop with all the executive orders on things that really matter like immigration and the other things and appointing NLRB.

I just -- I find it -- it makes me angry when he acts like that.

GUILFOYLE: Makes you angry?

BOLLING: Yes, when he acts like that, that attitude, like, I'm going to do it. So sue me. Yes. Screw you.


GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, look, is he the worst president in the last 70 years? It's kind of an insult. I mean, to him because company have been the worst for 250 years and I include Belgium and other countries.

His failure is so vast you can see it from space.


GUTFELD: Which is why aliens no longer want to invade us. They were like, that was a cool place in the '90s. Not any more.

So, why is he unpopular? I made a list, Obamacare, the IRS, DOJ, Snowden, Bergdahl, V.A., Solyndra, "FOX & FRIENDS," Benghazi -- "FOX & FRIENDS", Fast and Furious.


GUILFOYLE: I was like, why did you --

GUTFELD: "FOX & FRIENDS" -- the border, Iraq.


GUTFELD: That is not a resume, that is a hurricane and he's destroying everything in his path. That's why this poll is so damaging to him.

But he doesn't care. You fool yourself into thinking that this bothers him. He chuckled over this over his breakfast of dog sausage.

GUILFOYLE: I love sausage but I'll pass on the dog.

OK. Ms. Perino?


GUTFELD: He eats dogs.

BOLLING: I know. Spicy?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Well, the poll numbers have been going down steadily since the re-election, just about then. So, he wins re-election quite handily, and they start going down from there.

But the sixth year of any second term for any president is usually a very tough one. So, in some ways, you look at the White House, you can say well there's nowhere to go but up from here. It's not necessarily true because unexpected things could happen and sort of depends on either the Supreme Court maybe gives you that brushback pitch, or something unexpected happens in the world that you have to respond to and that is actually quite likely and happening right now in the Middle East.

So, a president has a choice at this point so you can determine right now, not with passivity, but you have to be active, make a choice how are my last two years going to go? And can he find some sort of common ground?

Or what does he really want to accomplish in the next two years? Does he want to solidify a progressive realignment of America? Maybe that is what he decides to do.

Or does he want to go out saying, you know what, I accomplished one major last thing in my last two years and it was the thing that helped propel America into better economic growth? If he chooses to do tax reform, I actually think that he might be able to get it done.

The last point on that is that in 1992, Marlin Fitzwater told me about the time frame. And that If anyone told me George Bush would be respected and revered around the world just, you know, 15 years after his presidency, he said no one would have believed it -- at least the staff at the time. But they stuck with him. And then, over time, things do happen that things get a little bit better. I don't know if that will happen for President Obama but I assume that's how they're --


GUILFOYLE: Remember, President Bush said there's still books coming out about first president.

PERINO: George Washington.

GUILFOYLE: Right, George Washington. So, you know, we'll see what happens.

By the way, I think these are good numbers for Obama, given everything that's happened, wow. I can't even believe the numbers are this high at this point since what's gone down.

BOLLING: What, he's the worst?

GUILFOYLE: I mean, honest to God, I thought the poll numbers would be lower than that given the number of -- I'm sorry, Bob. But really -- honest to God, this is how popular the guy is that the numbers are this good. If Bush was in and had all these problems including "FOX & FRIENDS" that Greg listed off, his numbers would be even lower. I'm telling you, Bob, I tried to help you.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: It's -- you're trying to help me?


BECKEL: Thank you very much. I don't need it.


BECKEL: The -- let me put it this way. When you poll somebody who is in office, you're obviously going to get a very high negative. George Bush is number two, but he's fading now. His numbers are going down. That's to say his unfavorable is going down. And history will record this one way or another.

If you buy this poll, and I assume you all do, then I went to Quinnipiac and looked at the cross tabs. And here's the reality, unlike whoever the idiot was who put our research together --

GUILFOYLE: Bob, that's not very nice.

BECKEL: Sorry. Sorry, Porter.


BECKEL: That said, move over Jimmy Carter, the picture of Jimmy Carter. The assumption being that Carter was the most unpopular. The fact of the matter is, Carter is the most least unpopular of everybody including Reagan, Kennedy, and that he's the best. So --

BOLLING: Wait, wait, wait.


BOLLING: Stop, stop, stop.

BECKEL: Obama has 33 --

BOLLING: Your research is flawed.

BECKEL: No, it's not. If you -- Carter has worst presidency, only 3 percent, only 3 percent.

BOLLING: I think it was eight.

BECKEL: No, you're wrong.

GUTFELD: Nobody remembers him. That's why.

PERINO: He didn't have a sixth year.

BECKEL: But the point is that any of these polls --

GUILFOYLE: Correct, Dana.

BECKEL: Jimmy Carter would be only 3 percent.

BOLLLING: Bob, he was the third worst is what it was.

BECKEL: No, I think.

BOLLING: Yes, it was.

BECKEL: No, I said, it's wrong. It's absolutely wrong.

But the point is that I think these kinds of things are ridiculous when you do it in the middle of a term of a president. It doesn't make any sense.

GUTFELD: I agree with you. But I do think the disdain --

BECKEL: Get Carter's picture off of there, will you? You've done enough idiocy as it is.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, you --

GUTFELD: Obama interprets the disdain that it's a sign that what he's doing is working, because he always saw himself as the medicine man feeding America this foul-smelling elixir which is called progressivism. Never mind that the treatment is actually deadlier than the disease, with leftism what doesn't kill you, kills you.

BOLLING: All right. So, here's what is it. President Obama is rated as the worst. Then President Bush. And then third was Nixon and, in fact, Jimmy Carter was rated the fourth worst since World War II and he was 8 percent.

BECKEL: What was Kennedy?

BOLLING: They were positive.

GUILFOYLE: As Dana pointed out, he didn't have a second term.

BOLLING: He was like second or third best. Ronald Reagan was the best, and I believe JFK was the second best. Or maybe --

BECKEL: So, nonetheless, you make my point it was not move over Jimmy Carter.

BOLLING: No, no, how do I make your point. You just said he was the best --

GUILFOYLE: What is your problem, exactly with this?

BECKEL: Here's the other thing -- can I tell you that the other thing I think what Obama said here when he said he was unhinged? The fact of what he said if Congress is not going to do anything, he's gong to do it himself and he's exactly.

Congress is sitting on its hands. They refuse to do anything. They refuse to sit down to work something out. They have been doing this for eight years, six years, trying to frustrate the guy. I think this Congress is probably going to be rated as the worst Congress in the history of mankind.

And the other thing that the progressive agenda he's had, a lot of that is very good stuff for a lot of people. And you may not think so. And you may think progressivism is eroding this country, I think you're crazy if you believe that. But leaving that aside --

GUTFELD: But that's not a factual response. The fact is, the left doesn't care if we don't like it. That's the point.

BECKEL: That's not a factual response. The left doesn't care --

GUTFELD: No, no. I mean, you just said that. This stuff works. It doesn't really matter if it's not popular. That's the point.

BECKEL: I don't think I said that.

GUTFELD: He's reintroducing policies that as a country we had defeated in other countries. It doesn't matter because his feelings trump reality. It won't bother him if we're unhappy.

BECKEL: How about equal pay for women? That's --

GUTFELD: Yes, I'm totally against that.

BECKEL: Well, I mean, that's something he passed and signed, the Lilly Ledbetter Act, when he first got in office. It's anything wrong with that?

PERINO: I think one of the problems is, that like today, the White House has been tied up in knots dealing with the fact that once again it was proven the White House actually pays women much lower. OK?

That doesn't mean that they don't have some merit to what their defense is, but I do think that if you look at the right track/wrong track numbers, and let's just take the last 30 years, the country is now saying, OK, we disagree fundamentally on some of the major issues going forward.

So, if I were in the White House right now with President Obama's team I think they should try to find what are the two things that we could try to do in the next year? We might not able to do anything this legislative session but if we put our minds together we can accomplish to things.

Instead, what you had from the president for the last week, every response has been just a shot at Republicans, and I think people are tuning out, looking ahead and they're not, they're not happy with Congress but they're increasingly unhappy with the president as well.

So, I would try -- if I were him, I would try to figure out how do I turn that around? What are the thing -- what is the thing that would make people trust me again and have confidence in me? What things --

GUTFELD: Resign.


PERINO: I don't know if that would necessarily increase the confidence.

GUTFELD: I was joking, I was joking.

PERINO: I thought you were totally serious.

GUTFELD: Oh, well, good for you.

PERINO: Anyway, you get my point.

GUILFOYLE: I got your point.


BECKEL: We'll talk about this in another block. One thing he can do in a lame duck session is save Republicans by doing immigration reform, which will save Republicans.

BOLLING: You mean executive order do it?

BECKEL: No, no, do it by legislation.

BOLLING: And doing just basically saying we're not going to deport anybody.

BECKEL: No, no, I said, in a lame duck session, do a legislative work.

BOLLING: Can I throw the reason why he's scoring so low on these polls?

I mean, look what's going on in the six years since he's been president. Gasoline prices have literally doubled under his watch. Food prices, a record high. All-time record high food prices in the history of America. Meanwhile, household incomes have gone down. And, employed Americans have gone down.

BECKEL: How about inflation?

BOLLING: Wow. So that's it?

BECKEL: That used to be the biggest indicator, wasn't it?

BOLLING: But it's not. It hasn't been. It hasn't been an issue for 20 years since the late '80s.

BECKEL: You make a big issue out of food stamps.

BOLLING: You know who was the best president on inflation? Ronald Reagan.

GUILFOYLE: I knew it. Yay! President Reagan.

BOLLING: He brought from 13 percent down to 5 percent.

GUILFOYLE: That was going to be my next question. Bob, who do you think is the greatest president?

BECKEL: Who was the greatest president since the Second World War?


BECKEL: I would probably -- certainly, Jack Kennedy would be one. I would give a little to Harry Truman and I'd give a little push to H.W. Bush, the old man.


GUTFELD: You said Truman. That's good.

BECKEL: Well, Truman (INAUDIBLE) --


GUTFELD: The poll was about keeping troops everywhere. You don't like that.

BECKEL: No, no, with Truman -- remember Truman did authorize the use of the bomb in Japan which ended the war. It would have cost us a million people to take that island back. So, I think Truman did a lot of things that were very good.

GUILFOYLE: Very interesting choice. To be inside Bob Beckel's brain. Wow.

Dana, can you pick one of the Bushes?

GUTFELD: I'm afraid you're going to say something else.


PERINO: No. Obviously, I don't pretend to be unbiased when it comes to -- with the Bushes.

GUILFOYLE: What are you going to do?

PERINO: But I think that we spend a lot of time thinking about the past when voters are thinking ahead and not enough attention is being paid to -- what are the things we can do that we can maybe agree on or if the president -- he had the We Can't Campaign that started in 2011. That was the part he was going use the pen and phone and he's got all these plans and so then what are they actually going to do that they can hold up in the court? If they can't get it to hold up in court, is there anything they can do to bring them together. If he decides the answer is no, then it's a very different last two years.

BECKEL: Let's remember, he's only lost one thing on the court, and that was a very narrow decision about appointing people, when Senate is in recess. So, I think that so far, Obama has done quite well in the courts.

GUILFOYLE: No, he hasn't.

BECKEL: Obamacare was pretty good, wasn't it?

GUILFOYLE: That's a complete disaster. The court has been trying to make up for it --

PERINO: There's ongoing litigation and the one that deals with the subsidies and who qualifies for them under Obamacare will be heard by the court. That could actually change dramatically the future of Obamacare and upend it.

BECKEL: My point is you keep saying it sounds like his rules and regulations are being knocked down. In fact, they are not.

GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, we're going to just strongly disagree with that statement. But respect everybody here at the table. Next --

BECKEL: Yes, history is history, you know?

GUILFOYLE: A dramatic scene at the border as citizens activists turn away bus loads of illegal immigrants. Isn't this our government's job? We'll talk about it when "The Five" returns.



CROWD: Go home. Go home. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!


BOLLING: Those protests were in Murrieta, California, where citizens were urged to action by their Mayor Alan Long.

Here's a little snippet of a news conference. Watch.


ALAN LONG, MURRIETA, CA MAYOR: Murrieta continues to object to this transfer of illegal immigrants to the local control board office. Murrieta expects our federal government to enforce our laws, including the deportation of illegal immigrants caught crossing our borders not disperse them into our local communities.


BOLLING: We have a lot to get to. A quick round on this one.

K.G., Cali girl, California liberal state, pushing back on illegal immigrants.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, you know, but -- yes, I was a little bit surprised about this because it is pretty controversial because there are kids on the bus, right? So, yes, they are all different ages, some are teenage boys, 17 years of age, et cetera too.

But I think that's a tough position to be able to get out there, voice your opinion. But I love it, because you can do that in America and say how you feel. Will it promote action on behalf of the government to do something about it? I don't know. I just don't see a lot of affirmative decision- making in the right way. Because this can -- they may deal with three bus loads of people but they are not solving the overall problem.

BOLLING: There's an estimate of 90,000 -- 90,000 kids are going to come over this year. Bob, finally, citizens are standing up and saying enough is enough.

BECKEL: Well, part of this is in reaction to the movement because Texas is now full, facilities are full with these kids. These kids end up being sent to San Diego. By the way, this is not a liberal community at all. It's a pretty far right community.

GUTFELD: But a sensible one.

BECKEL: You call it sensible.

GUTFELD: What's wrong with people asking for a border like every other country?

BECKEL: There's nothing wrong with that. But keep in mind that Obama has deported --


BECKEL: -- more people than any other president in history, 465,000 last year. There is only a certain amount of money available to deport these people.

BOLLING: This number is so skewed and so biased and so inaccurate. This number that the left keeps throwing around. He's deported more. Deportation in the Obama administration is sending an illegal immigrant a letter saying report to United States --


BECKEL: That's just absolutely wrong. That's a classic right-wing response.

BOLLING: No, it's not. All right. Whatever, let's not talk about it. Anyway --

GUILFOYLE: Let's not talk about it.

BOLLING: We can do that until we're blue in the face.

Your thoughts on this community saying, hey, we're against this and stopping the busload of kids.

PERINO: OK. So, then, if politics are local this is an example of that. When you're in a city like New York City, you don't see buses coming across the border so then things are different. So, you have elected officials who are in charge. They have to manage and run their city. And what I heard the mayor asking for is some rule of law and some certainty from the government. What the people I think are responding to is to say, if the government isn't going to be a deterrent then we're going to have to do it ourselves.

That could be very good. It could also turn out to be fairly dangerous. And I don't see how -- in the absence of legislation, how President Obama will take executive action to solve that particular problem. The business community talks a lot about how they want to make sure we bring the best and brightest here because they want the engineers and workers working in their companies. I get that. I understand that.

But there's another part of the immigration problem that does not seem too much to ask for a rule of law to be enforced in the area. I don't necessarily agree with the feasibility of building a fence but this, we cannot continue to have buses of children stream across and then have Democrats say, well, then, now what you're going to do about it?


BECKEL: Wait, if the government was doing what it was supposed to do, those people would be under arrest. I mean, they decided to put them in a jail, the only place --

PERINO: Why aren't they in the first place got to go back to where --


GUTFELD: This is such an easy topic to apply common sense. I don't show up at your house uninvited with all of my relatives.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, you have.

GUTFELD: Only your place and it was late night and you left the door open.

But it's rude and illegal. It sounds like you lack compassion when you say that, but it's not. It's common sense. You just don't show up uninvited and there is a process. The process is, legal immigration.

God bless the legal immigrant, the guy who waits in line, the woman who fills out the paper work. They are treated like second class citizens.

Obama has a perspective of a fun house mirror. He's putting the undocumented before the documented because it seems to be more compassionate. Why don't we just annex Mexico? They are annexing us.

Would anybody notice? I love Mexico. I think if Mexico became our next state, I would be so happy.

GUILFOYLE: Our new New Mexico.

GUTFELD: Our new New Mexico.



BOLLING: What's the right way to secure the border before Bob makes fun of a fence, we know he'll buy a ladder company. We got that.


BOLLING: Charles Krauthammer says, not so fast, Bobby Boy, fences work.


CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: You start with a fence. It's very simple. People say, oh, fences don't work, you make a ladder. Well, then you build two fences. Triple strand fences. If fences don't work, why is there one around the White House?




BECKEL: So rarely we hear Charles Krauthammer, I'm delighted he's in here today.

I think the fact he's right. I mean, there's a lot to be said for -- first of all, the other thing you didn't have on here, Charles Krauthammer said people here now can't send him back. We ought to put together a process where they can eventually work themselves to citizenship behind people who are in line.

GUILFOYLE: But how does that deter people from sending other kids? That's what I want to hear your answer.

BECKEL: Here's the answer to why people are sending their kids up here is because they think that this is a better place for them to be and clearly it is. But you can't blame Obama for all this. Obama is not down there hustling people to get to the border.

GUILFOYLE: Guess what? I didn't say that. What I'm asking you is, how does this prove in any way to be a deterrent. If I'm a mom and I got a kid from Honduras, and I want to send a kid over, why shouldn't I if I saw my neighbor's kid got in.

BECKEL: So, what's the point? What's your point?

BOLLING: These guys in (ph) -- any thoughts on the fence and --

GUTFELD: Well, there was an activist down, there amnesty activist that said if these children were from Canada, no one would mind. It's a good point. They aren't from Canada because there's no incentive for Canadians to leave. So, you have to think about that.

But also, they introduce race into this argument, so that if you come out and say, look, we want to have actual border reform not immigration reform that will now be construed as bigoted, which is why so many people are scared to come out and talk about this because people on the left call them racist.


BECKEL: But would you be for legislation to have immigration reform and close the borders off?

GUTFELD: I would like a border, and a border like everybody else.

BOLLING: I want to get Dana in here. Dana, Republicans how do they tackle this? This is a big issue for Republicans in 2014 and 2016.

PERINO: I think the president of the United States is going to have to figure out some sort of way if he wants to solve this, I don't think executive action is going to do enough to solve the actual acute problem.

Also on the fence issue, I just think that the appeal of America and how wonderful our country is, that if you want to come to America and there is a way to get here they will do it unless there's a deterrent that says you have to figure out a way to stay in line. That we want the best for your children too, but you're going to have network with us so that we can try to help you. And I don't know exactly how that needle is threaded.

BOLLING: All right. We have to leave it right there.


BECKEL: Leave people at home, is that your position?


BECKEL: It is. Good.

GUTFELD: Why aren't they flocking down from Canada?

GUILFOYLE: They're you go.

BECKEL: They got plenty of money in Canada.

BOLLING: Bob, Susan is yelling at me. Can I go?


BOLLING: All right.

Ahead, there's a sequel to the viral video we showed you last week with the kid with some serious moves at a Marlins game.


BOLLING: Oh, boy. He saw himself on the JumboTron and busted move for the cameras. We weren't sure if it was real. But, apparently, he's at it again at a game last night. We're going to show you that, coming up.


PERINO: The first militant to be prosecuted for the attack on our consulate in Benghazi made a court appearance today in Washington, D.C. A federal judge ordered Ahmed Abu Khattala...


PERINO: ... to remain in custody until his trial. Thank you.

He pleased -- pleaded -- see, Greg? -- he pleaded not guilty to a charge of conspiring to provide material support to terrorists resulting in death.

In court papers filed last night, prosecutors offered new details on their case against him. They say he entered the compound the night of the attack and supervised the exploitation of material at the scene and then went to a camp where a large group began assembling to attack the compound's annex.

Kimberly, you talked about this when the news broke on Saturday...


PERINO: ... when you were guest hosting for Jeanine Pirro.

GUILFOYLE: Thanks for that. I remember.

PERINO: Let me ask you about this. There's --- I'm not surprised that the judge said, "You have to stay in custody." I mean, for goodness sake, he's in Washington, D.C., and he's a terrorist. My question is do you think it was wise to bring him to Washington, D.C., in the first place?


PERINO: Where he could maybe get out.

GUILFOYLE: No. By the way, I think he should be over in Gitmo. I think we should leave Gitmo open. He should he stay there until the end of the war, which might be never. Leave him there. Why do we have to do anything with him? He's an enemy combatant. Why are we bringing him here, getting him his own Johnnie Cochran?

This is, to me, nonsensical. We're trying to prove a point to who? To the enemy, to the terrorists, that we're just so civilized, we're so this? This is -- this to me as a lawyer, as a prosecutor, makes no sense.

You want to try and make it harder and put an undue burden that is not legally justified, that is onerous on the United States?

And by the way, they're again hiding things. This is like the indictment. Usually it's like 50, 100 pages of all the stuff in there. It's pretty -- there's nothing in there. They're not giving away any of the...

PERINO: Would the judge know about it secretly? Would the judge get, like, other information?

GUILFOYLE: The judge will, of course, have access and be privy to all the documents and the information. But this was done like that on purpose for political reasons so that all the rest of us don't get it. Again so transparent.

PERINO: You know what I think is interesting about this, Greg, is that if I, to me Khattala is not separate from the rest of the fighting that we're seeing right now.


PERINO: I see it all as one, right, a global war on terror. But remember when President Obama said we can't just play whack-a-mole?


PERINO: If you start bringing terrorists here one by one aren't you also playing whack-a-mole?

GUTFELD: Yes. And I don't know why we're discussing this. It was, like, two years ago.

Yes, it's remarkable, the timing of the arrest. Is it a pure coincidence that the arrest happened as ISIS appeared and it was like they needed something? Do you want to bet that at some point this guy is going to blame the attack on a video, perhaps in exchange for a new prayer mat and some goat porn?

PERINO: Well, that was actually an interesting thing, like confirmation, Eric. They say that it's possible that he had access to a lot of information on the computers at the annex, which to me would mean it was premeditated and, again, possibly the intelligence failure that led up to it.

BOLLING: Sure. Here's the issue, and I agree with K.G., right? That either they should have left him on that boat for, I don't know, a year or so to continue to interrogate him or bring him to Gitmo. Because the minute he hit land here, he lawyered up; he stopped cooperating.

How much information that he has that could actually save some lives? You want to talk about winning the war on terror. Bring him to Gitmo. Waterboard him. Do what you have to do. Find out what's going on. Find out where the cells are. Find out which Americans -- where the cells are in America. This is the way you win the war on terror.

President Obama once again says...

GUILFOYLE: They don't get it.

BOLLING: ... oh, let's, you know, Islam...

PERINO: Law enforcement.

BOLLING: Yes, law enforcement. Islam is a religion of peace. I mean, he's so tone deaf on the war on terror. We'll never win that thing.

PERINO: Bob, you have two children in Washington, D.C. They're your loved ones. Are you fully comfortable with a target like Ahmed Abu Khattala being in Washington, D.C., rather than maybe being outside of it, since we are in the middle of a war?

BECKEL: I think it's fine. And all due respect, I don't talk about Benghazi. It's over. But yes, I feel fine about it. I mean, I don't think this guy is going to break out and go harm my kids.

And the other thing, one other thing I will say, the idea that there was some sensitive information in that consulate is absolutely nuts. Nobody would put sensitive information in that consulate when it was under attack like that.

PERINO: Did you think the prosecution team leaked that out, Kimberly?

GUTFELD: Should we let this guy go, Bob, though? Really?


GUTFELD: Benghazi's over. Let's let him go. Maybe you should take him in as a boarder at your apartment.

BECKEL: You -- you sentence him to life in prison and leave it at that.

GUILFOYLE: Why should he get life in prison? He should get the death penalty.

BECKEL: Well, I don't believe in the death penalty. So there you go.

GUTFELD: I believe in...


BECKEL: I don't want to talk about it.

BOLLING: I rather him not get the death penalty. I'd rather him sit over there and eventually, if life gets tough enough for him, he'll start to talk.

GUILFOYLE: From what they say he didn't talk and is not going to ever talk.


PERINO: I think we have to fight.

BOLLING: I think we have to fight, too.

PERINO: I don't want to lose the war on terror.


BECKEL: No, but it's going to be ongoing.

PERINO: Right. Exactly.

BOLLING: No, but to put this guy in a jail clammed up is certainly not helpful. It's not beneficial to our side.

PERINO: I don't want them to be more motivated to kill us than we are to stop them. I mean, I think the passivity of thinking, "Well, there's nothing to say, it was two years ago," well, that doesn't cut it for me.

GUILFOYLE: Good. All right?

PERINO: All right.


PERINO: Next on "The Five," it looks like Greg has got another career to add to his very impressive resume. It's screen writer. He's going to tell you all about the new flick he just scripted last night. Sounds pretty scary.

GUTFELD: I was drunk.

PERINO: Bring your popcorn.

GUTFELD: I scripted it.


GUTFELD: So I wrote a movie called "The Rise of the Entitlebots," and it's about a virus that infects people, forcing them to demand free stuff that they can easily afford themselves.

This insidious bug rewires people's brains so you think not getting a freebie is the same as banning it. These entitlebots now roam the blogs and airwaves, comparing a pill purchase to Jim Crows laws, apartheid and Sharia Law. Some want to burn down businesses. Others target judges. The first thing to go is reason, then civility. They'd shoot you, but they don't know the right end of a gun.

The virus also upends their beliefs. Previously fighting to keep the government out of the bedroom, they're now demanding the man back in. Their entitled brain overriding principal with a thirst for total control. The entitlebots were infected by a government willing to do everything for them, so they did nothing. Now they can't stop. They must have it all, including total subservience from people they either work for or even knows.

The result: any pause in this march towards dependence is met with a body snatcher shriek.

So how does the movie end? Due to intense rage, some entitlebot heads explode. Thankfully, the Hobby Lobby staff is there to pick up the pieces and turn them into lovely collages for the holidays. But most entitlebots die of starvation.

As Margaret Thatcher said, the problem with socialism is that eventually, you run out of other people's money.


GUTFELD: Goes for zombies, too.

BOLLING: Wait a minute.


BOLLING: You plagiarized that script.

GUTFELD: From where?

BOLLING: The liberals.

GUTFELD: Ah. By the way, you know, FiveFanPhotoshop did a nice poster for this. You want to check this out? Look at that. Isn't that great? This is definitely a movie. Those are my real eyes.

Kimberly, is there any treatment for this?

GUILFOYLE: ... although I think that's a ...

GUTFELD: Is there any treatment for entitlebots? How do you unbrainwash?

GUILFOYLE: You know what? Good luck. I think you're going to need to hire some, like, Special Forces guys to protect you, because the very suggestion of taking away people's free stuff is like touching the third rail.

They don't understand that concept any more. People feel like, "unless you're going to give me the perfect job with the perfect site (ph) with the perfect this and that. I don't want it. I want you to give me everything else for free, too."

Everybody is turning into, like, America, a nation of gators, like gator on. Nobody wants to reach into their pockets, can't reach in there to buy my coffee. Can't reach in there to get my own birth control. I mean, come on.

GUTFELD: You know...

GUILFOYLE: Look at Bob.

GUTFELD: Bob, I'm going to show you. This is a tweet from...

GUILFOYLE: Bob is an entitlebot.

GUTFELD: ... from an actor named Seth Rogen. I'm sure you love him. This is what he had to say. It was quite articulate. Can you throw that up there. It says, "The people at Hobby Lobby are a-holes, and those who voted to let them be a-holes are also a-holes." I thought that was quite an intellectual response on his part. He's really thought about this.

BECKEL: I think he did. First of all, can I make a point here that people who are getting most of the people that get entitlements need them and deserve them.

GUILFOYLE: That's a plus (ph).

BECKEL: They pay for them. They pay for them. Social Security and Medicare were paid for by people through the course of their work. So you can't say that that's some entitlement they get while you're sitting back not getting anything.

GUTFELD: We're not talking about that. We're talking about the Hobby Lobby thing. I agree with you, Social Security, I get that taken out of my paycheck every week.

BECKEL: Right. So -- but that's part of what you call the entitlements, the total number of entitlements.

GUTFELD: Entitlebots are people that feel deserve free stuff.

BECKEL: Well, that's a miniscule number of people, so I mean, it...

GUILFOYLE: Where are you getting...

BOLLING: Can I help you task this one?

GUTFELD: Yes, please.

BOLLING: The lead would be Sandra Fluke...

GUILFOYLE: Thank you.

BOLLING: ... and her girlfriend, Julia.


BOLLING: And then on the other side, pajama boy and the surfer guy who likes Food Stamps.


GUILFOYLE: He got the lobster?

BECKEL: How about (UNINTELLIGIBLE)? Would that work?

BOLLING: Bob, we're just having a little fun here. Lighten up.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, why do you have to ruin all the fun?

BECKEL: Because what your fun is, is not funny.

GUTFELD: Yes, because you know what? We're mean. We're just mean people.

BECKEL: That's correct.

GUTFELD: We hate the poor. Because, you know why? Because -- because a certain company is not paying for four types of contraception that they can afford elsewhere so that -- we hate poor people.

BECKEL: That's why this company (ph) didn't get elected.

GUTFELD: Yes. You might be right.

GUILFOYLE: Two of them are IUDs and one is Plan B and the other one is Ella. OK? Get over it.

PERINO: I think you make some great points and it goes beyond the contraception issue. But I have to remember that everyone gets a little bit of something. So the senior citizens get something. Now we're -- children get some. And they're about to get a lot more if they get universal pre-school.

Homeowners get a little bit of something from the tax code. Farmers get a little bit of something out of it.


PERINO: So it's actually -- the bigger problem, if you really want to get to the root cause of it, is that everyone is getting a little bit of something, and they're going to fight for all it. It's why you have some gridlock in Washington.

BECKEL: Everybody at this table is getting something, too.


BOLLING: No, no, no. There's something else. You got the other side of the equation, Bob. Only 46 percent of the people are paying into the system and 100 percent...


BECKEL: How much do you take off your taxes from your mortgage?

BOLLING: As much as I possibly am allowed to.


GUILFOYLE: What does that have to do with anything?

GUTFELD: ... how much taxes he pays.

BECKEL: But it's an entitlement.

GUTFELD: You know who pays the most taxes?

BOLLING: ... are, I don't know, spending money on their EBT cards, buying liquor, cigarettes, pot and everything on the tax dollars I put in.

BECKEL: A fraction.

GUTFELD: I'm talking about the reaction to the Supreme Court ruling, which was way over the top.

BECKEL: That, for sure, it was way over the top.

GUTFELD: All right. See, we can all come together, Bob.

BOLLING: Did you screen write a movie?

GUTFELD: No. No, no.

GUILFOYLE: I thought this was real.

GUTFELD: No, it's not.

All right. What does your first music album say about you? What were your first records? You'll have to stay tuned to find out, Bob.


BECKEL: I think that was my man Elvis, one of my favorite artists of all time. Since we're all-big music fans, except for me here on "The Five," we thought we'd share the first albums we bought. And let's go around the table, starting with Greg.

GUTFELD: Well, mine's not a music album, because my sister had every record, so I got to just listen to them all the time. My first record was from 1971. I was 7, I guess, right? It was "Another Monty Python Record." They don't have -- oh, there it is. My mom got it for me. What kind of mom would buy you a Monty Python record when you're 7? It has, like, the Spanish Inquisition. It had the death of Mary queen of Scots. It had -- I think it had the comfy chair. Anybody who's a Monty Python fan knows this. The album changed my life.

GUILFOYLE: What is that noise?

PERINO: Well, this is the first album I ever bought with my own money. "Thriller."

BECKEL: Michael Jackson.

PERINO: I also got one of those, you know, I had one white glove that I would wear.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: You wore a white glove?


GUILFOYLE: Remember the time she was a rapper?

PERINO: Of course. I could moon walk on the balance beam.

GUTFELD: You could moon walk on the balance beam?

PERINO: Moon walk on a balance beam? Yes.

GUTFELD: I would pay a million dollars to see that.

BECKEL: Running out of time. Go ahead.

GUILFOYLE: Do you think that's normal?

BOLLING: We're out of time? Aerosmith. My favorite. It was my first album. It's still one of my favorite albums.

BECKEL: What does it say about you?

BOLLING: Classic rock. I mean, I like it now. I love classic rock.

GUILFOYLE: You're consistent.

BOLLING: All the way straight through. Every single song on the album, both sides, is fantastic. "Toys in the Attic," "Uncle Salty," "Adam's Apple," "Walk this Way," "Sweet Emotion." You want to play this one?

PERINO: I will. Absolutely.

BECKEL: There you go. Who are you?

GUILFOYLE: So my favorite one, my favorite band is U-2. I think probably, it's a lot of people. But being Irish, right, I grew up and lived in Ireland every summer since about 5 years of age. And the first one I went to buy with my own money was this album, U-2 "War." You're hearing it in the background: "Sunday Bloody Sunday," "New Year's Day," "40." I mean, this is the album that keeps on giving, and I just love it. I went on to go to law school in Dublin, Ireland.

BOLLING: Did you ever see them? Did you ever go see them?

GUILFOYLE: Yes. I met them. I know this.

BOLLING: Did you ever see Michael Jackson?

PERINO: I don't remember.

BECKEL: I saw -- I saw those little boys.

GUILFOYLE: I saw Michael Jackson in court when I was covering...

BECKEL: I've got to get out of here. My first album that I actually paid for, didn't shoplift, was "The White Album" by the Beatles. And the reason for that was I was a child of the '60s. It was -- this was the first album that came along, I think, that made the break from old-time rock 'n' roll and blues to a new period in rock 'n' roll and new period in life for those of us who believed that we needed to have a revolution of our own.

GUTFELD: You know the problem with that album...

BECKEL: "One More Thing" is up next.



GUTFELD: I was going to say on that album cover you can't do lines.

BECKEL: That's true.


GUILFOYLE: It's time now for "One More Thing." But I really want to ask Greg what he just heard.

GUTFELD: Apparently, my joke that I said at the end of the segment did get heard.

GUILFOYLE: OK. We love it.

GUTFELD: Anyway, sorry about that. Bob?

GUILFOYLE: Fifty years ago today on this very day Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, one of the most remarkable legislative achievements in the history of legislation.

And believe it or not, I'm actually happy to say the first two people to receive pens was Everett Dirkson (ph), Republican from Illinois, and Bill McCulloch, who was a Republican from Ohio. Both Republicans. Both were responsible, more than any other two people, for seeing that act come into law.

BOLLING: That's true. The Republicans, in fact, were responsible.

BECKEL: They were. If it was today you wouldn't have the same thing.

BOLLING: Whatever. Give them credit.

BECKEL: I just did.

PERINO: OK. Moving on. OK, you know, I don't have children. I just have a dog. No kid that's at summer camp. And I got a letter today. It's my first letter from a kid at summer camp, so I want to read it to you.

It says, "Dear Dana and Peter, camp so far is great. I'm playing kick ball in three minutes so I'm using this time to write you a letter. When are you coming over? Can Jasper come up someday soon? Love Ryan." That is sweet.

GUTFELD: He had to mention Jasper.

BECKEL: Why don't we send Jasper there right now for the rest of the summer? That's a good idea.

PERINO: He would love to be at camp with boys. That would be...

GUTFELD: If you want something read on "The Five" just mention Jasper.

PERINO: Yes. And then you're golden.

GUILFOYLE: OK, actually, it's your turn now.

GUTFELD: All right. It's time for...


GUTFELD: I hate these people.


GUTFELD: I take the subway every morning, and you know what I hate? People doing stuff. And in this case there are people who are now pole dancing and dancing like this on the subway. Some of them are slightly entertaining. I don't look for entertainment on the subway, I want to be left alone. I don't want to smell you, I don't want to hear you. I don't want you coming near me. Stop this madness.

GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, the time I was on the subway it wasn't like that at all. There was no space. And people were pressed up against you.

GUTFELD: That was weird. That wasn't a subway -- never mind.

GUILFOYLE: All right.

BECKEL: That was a crowded men's room.

GUILFOYLE: OK. Speaking of -- no, I have been in the men's room a couple times by accident.

OK, my turn. Speaking of dancing, remember we showed you the young marlins fan. It was like is this a hoax? Be careful. This might be whatever.

But it's not. It's for real life. OK. And he did it again. And I'm really weirded out by the little pelvic thrusting situation there. Because there he is again, and now he's got Dancing Tony. So it's dancing kid with Dancing Tony. And look at him. They're going to take their act on the road.

Dana seems particularly transfixed.

PERINO: So they think they can dance. I don't know.

BECKEL: But they can't do the moon walk on a balance beam.

PERINO: That takes a lot of talent.


BOLLING: Hey, dad, tell your kid to stop doing that.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Exactly.

BOLLING: OK. So tonight I host "HANNIT." You've got to check it out. I have three big crises going on right now. The immigration crisis, the ISIS crisis, and Hamas killing those three Israeli teenagers, one of them American. We're going to talk to Senator Rand Paul about that.

PERINO: Shocker.


BECKEL: You talk to Rand Paul a lot. It's good.

BOLLING: I asked him what's President Obama's Mideast policy, and I asked him, what's your Mideast policy?

GUILFOYLE: He's got a little man crush. It's cute.

All right. I think we're done. Did you go?

BECKEL: I actually said something nice about Republicans. but you guys never said one nice thing about Obama.

GUILFOYLE: Don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss an episode of "The Five". We're going to see you back here tomorrow.

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