President Donald Trump takes the wall campaign in a different direction
Trump is making the border wall sexy.
This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," February 16, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RACHEL MADDOW, ANCHOR, MSNBC: The one thing nobody would have anticipated is that they were talking about the freaking ham size issue in the debates. And we would still be talking about it in the presidency of that candidate who ultimately made it to the presidency because he's artificially augmenting his hand size in his photos as President because he's still stuck on that issue.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: I'm pretty sure that's not true.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: All right, I want you to look at this video. It's about two minutes long. But take a look at the guy. I couldn't stop watching this. I'm not sure where this video is from, or who these strange men are. But that man on the couch, he keeps trying to put on his shirt.
As you could see, he's having trouble, but he keeps trying to put on that shirt and yet no luck. Now, I may be wrong. I've been watching this a lot. It might not be a shirt. It appears that it could be a pair of sweat bottoms. I think it's a pair of sweatpants that he's trying to put on his head. But here's the thing, he doesn't give up. He keeps trying to put it over his head even though it won't go down.
You know, he kind of reminds me of the Democratic Party.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: And their goofy crew. How is that? How was that for a transition? I just wanted to use the video.
The Democratic candidates are all panderers twisting and turning to appease the consensus media that demands you follow the script, embrace socialism, cow to identity politics, punish the successful. Watch them go.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. KAMALA HARRIS, D-CALIF.: We need to have Medicare for All.
JAKE TAPPER, ANCHOR, CNN: For people out there who like their insurance, they don't get to keep it?
HARRIS: Let's eliminate all of that. Let's move on.
HOWARD SCHULTZ, FORMER CEO OF STARBUCK: I should be paying more taxes and people who make this kind of revenue and of means should pay more taxes.
SEN. KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND, D-N.Y.: Staying in the international climate change agreement, I announced yesterday that would be -- I would do that on day one.
MADDOW: Would you commit to choosing a woman as your Vice Presidential running mate?
SEN. CORY BOOKER, D-N.J.: I think that you will rarely see a Democratic ticket anymore without gender diversity, race diversity. I think it's something that we should have. So I'm not going to box myself in, but should I do coming you know, I'll be looking to women first.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Now, everybody has got their virtue signal. Trying to say the right thing even if it's completely wrong. It's getting hard for the left to keep up. Right, Don and April?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
APRIL RYAN, AMERICAN JOURNALIST: When you see her, you see her blackness, but she is also South Asian. Her mom is South Asian and her dad is Jamaican. She is a black Latino.
DON LEMON, ANCHOR, CNN: April, April. Let me -- people -- Latino people are people of color, but they're not black. They're brown people.
RYAN: She's a woman of color, but she is a black woman.
LEMON: Okay, that's right, I agree with that. I agree with that. But is she African-American?
RYAN: Now, I don't want to get into the pigment. I don't want to get into the pigment issue.
LEMON: No, no. But is she African-American, there is a difference. There's nothing wrong with that. No one is trying to take anything away from her.
RYAN: So let's go down -- let's go down into her lineage.
LEMON: I think you're falling into a trap with that.
RYAN: If you want to go into her lineage.
LEMON: All she had to do was say, "I am black, but I am not African- American."
RYAN: No, I am not --
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I love the two guys in the middle.
(Laughter)
(Applause)
GUTFELD: Now compare all of this stuff to the guy currently in the Oval Office. He just doesn't give [bleep].
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: You do love your dogs, don't you? I wouldn't mind having one honestly. But I don't have any time. I don't have -- how would I look walking the dog or the White House lawn? Would that be --
(Cheering and Applause)
TRUMP: It feels a little phony - phony to me.
(Laughter)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Think about that for a second. Trump knows that America loves its dogs almost too much. And he's like, so what? It seems phony. To him, animals are for riding or eating or riding and then eating.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: But this is who he is. It's not new.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: We've got more money. We've got more brains. We've got better houses, apartments. We've got nicer boats. We are a hot, hot Country.
I'm President and they're not.
Rush Limbaugh -- I think he's a great guy. He is a guy that could speak for three hours without a phone call. Try doing that sometimes. For three hours, he speaks.
I am asking them to give you the Nobel Peace Prize. I said thank you. Many other people feel that way, too. I'll probably never get, but that's okay. They gave it to Obama. He didn't even know what he got it for. He was there for about 15 seconds and he got the Nobel Prize.
There is nothing better than a good old fashioned German Shepherd.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: No idea what that means. But Trump broke new ground by being elected. People see President Obama as the first black President. Everyone thought Hillary would be the first female President. But Trump's the first "us" President, meaning he's kind of you, and he's kind of me.
He's not a politician. He's us. And for that reason, he's seen as a jerk by the others who aren't us because anyone who stands outside the consensus is considered a jerk. Anyone who believes in order, rules, borders, cause and effect science. We're all jerks now. Anyone who believes in punishment, in profit, in competition, companies -- were jerks.
Jerks get stuff done, and then stuff gets done to them. Hence, all the tell-alls about Trump, jerks make great subjects. The latest one now by Andrew McCabe has him admitting to launching a probe into the President. Why? Because Trump is different. He's no boring civil servant in pleated khakis quietly weeping to Dave Matthews in his slightly used Toyota that stinks of hand lotion.
No, he is the orange skunk at the garden party piercing the elitist bubble. So McCabe thought there's no way America could have voted for this jerk. This has to be the work of the Russians. No, it was the work of Americans who wanted someone like him, you know, a billionaire.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: Clapping for a billionaire. All right, or what the haters call jerks. Trump really is the Rosa Parks of jerks. He's opening the door for future political candidates who refuse to do the same old crap like getting a dog or kissing a baby or reading to children. I hate all that stuff.
Which means I could probably never be President. Until now. Trump has shown you that you can win without the phony BS. Trump's your rich uncle who couldn't give a crap. The Dems are the opposite, sanctimonious grad students lecturing you on evil capitalism as a trust fund pays for their weed.
But political fakery exists because we expect it. We know it's phony, but we pretend it's real. I would say it's like pro-wrestling. But Tyrus would crush me like a ladybug between his thumb and index finger.
Yes, it's real. And the media plays along turning every issue into a phony game of team sports with just two sides. But on the outside of all of this are jerks. Everyday society becomes more intolerant of them. Anyone who isn't part of the universal consensus is doomed.
So among the Dems so far, it's the usual pander bears who speak out of both sides of their mouth revealing a spine as flexible as the elastic around Michael Moore's sweat pants.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: They should change the name of their party.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi, you know us.
KATHERINE TIMPF, HOST, FOX NATION: We're the desperate party of America.
TOM SHILLUE, HOST, FOX NATION: We will do whatever it takes to get elected, like saying whatever you want to hear, so you feel comforted that we're just like you.
TIMPF: I believe solar panels are the key to our future which is why we promise to use them to expand fracking all across the country.
SHILLUE: For years, I arrested people for doing drugs. Now, I do drugs.
TIMPF: Have I ever smoked weed? Not. Back then, it was called crack.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When it comes to legalization, we need to respect States rights except when it comes to babies. Screw their rights.
SHILLUE: I believe we should tax the super wealthy, unless they're the super wealthy who hate Trump. You guys are good.
TIMPF: Walls don't work and are immoral. To hear more, come to my private fundraiser at the Hyatt Ballroom. Just present your ID at security at the wall gate in front.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Border security is the most important thing, which is why we will provide slingshots for all Americans, possibly a boomerang if the budget allows.
TIMPF: But the most important thing about the desperate party ...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Your healthcare will be free.
SHILLUE: Your dry cleaning will be free.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Arson will be free.
TIMPF: Everything will be free except for porn. We're going to tax [bleep].
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guest. He's the best thing to come from Canada since geese, author and political commentator and host of the "Mark Steyn Show," Mark Steyn.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: She is so sharp water balloons send her hate mail. "The Globe and Mail" columnist, Dr. Debra Soh.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: All she wanted for Valentine's Day was lower taxes and a permit to carry. Host of "The Tyrus and Timpf Podcast," Kat Timpf.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: He knows the street better than Google Maps, former WWE superstar and my massive sidekick, host of "UnPC" on Fox Nation, Tyrus.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: All right. So Mark, what do you make of the field of candidates so far? Pretty exciting, huh?
MARK STEYN, AUTHOR AND POLITICAL COMMENTATOR: Yes, I like to -- I like Kamala Harris with her smoking marijuana and hearing Tupac and Snoop Dogg.
GUTFELD: Right.
STEYN: And then they found out that she - when she was in college smoking marijuana, this was six years before either of them had released their records, and I know you know all about this because they always say like marijuana is a gateway drug. I didn't - hadn't realized, it was like the gateway to the time space continuum.
(Cheering and Applause)
STEYN: And so after she said this, I smoked marijuana and I heard Tupac's 2022 comeback album, and then I smoked too much, and I heard your 2037 Christmas album where you do a really sort of frankly, creepy version of "Santa Baby." And, and so I've gone off Kamala Harris since I'm back on Elizabeth Warren now.
TIMPF: She lied about smoking weed to sound cool.
STEYN: Yes.
TIMPF: Which is totally normal, if you are a 15-year-old boy.
(Cheering and Applause)
TIMPF: What's next? Is she going to be like, "I know where we can get some fake IDs. My parents are out of town this weekend. I'm going to throw a party." I mean, I wish you would stop pretending to be progressive on the drug legalization issue.
In 2014, a reporter asked her about legalizing medical, or excuse me recreational marijuana. She laughed. She didn't even change her mind until last year, which is pretty late in the game. It's like, so now she is just pretending she smoked weed? Come on, bro. What are you doing?
GUTFELD: You know though, I will give her credit. She does say that - she defended pot recreationally, which most politicians don't do. She said it brings joy, which I thought was actually a nice departure for a politician. But what am I doing complimenting her? This is Fox.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: We're going to have to edit all of that out.
STEYN: Now, she did it. She did it by the way because she said, "Oh, half my family is Jamaican," which is the kind of stereotyping that nobody else could be able to do.
GUTFELD: Interesting point. All right, doctor, welcome to the show. What do you make of the candidate so far? You're in a neuroscientist.
DEBRA SOH, COLUMNIST, THE GLOBE AND MAIL: I am a neuroscientist, yes, but I can talk about this issue. When I look at them, it's kind of like a grab bag, but it made me think of a boy band because in a boy band, you have the different personas. You know, you have the really sweet sensitive one.
GUTFELD: Yes.
SOH: You have the edgy bad boy. In this case, you've got, you know, the pro-legalization one. You've got the male feminist.
GUTFELD: Yes.
SOH: You've got the female person of color, though she's only 1000th Native American on a good day, and then you've got the one - well, a couple of them are pro-socialism.
So you know, it's kind of ridiculous. I'm a liberal, but when I look at this, I think it's pretty ridiculous how they're all trying to outdo each other.
GUTFELD: Right.
SOH: At the same time, I think, you know, if people are really set on going up against Trump, they're going to vote for them anyway.
GUTFELD: Yes, edit out that part where she said she's a liberal.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: Thank you. Tyrus, what do you make far. It's beginning to be kind of exciting, isn't it?
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, HOST, FOX NATION: Like paint peeling, yes.
(Laughter)
MURDOCH: There's nothing more than uncool people telling you how cool I am. Here's a little -- if you have to tell somebody you're cool, you're not cool. Like every time I see Cory Booker and I honestly wish the brother well, I really do. He is the most uncoolest dude trying to convince you that he's cool like --
Man, I'll put them in the thing like, "Will your running mate be a woman?" Well, I don't want to be in that box, but if I was, I definitely would want my -- just no, I'm going to take the best person. Get off me, girl. That would have been the right thing to say. But he didn't know what to say.
(Cheering and Applause)
MURDOCH: That's when you say if you're cool, and if Kamala smoked, she really did? When they asked her that question, she could go like, "That's a great question. What?" It would have been like, damn, Kamala is cool. She is smoking on national TV. What?
But it's like, yes, I smoke. I am hip. I know the Macarena.
(Laughter)
STEYN: I love - that clip you showed where they were arguing about whether she's black or brown or a little bit black, a little bit brown, we don't quite know how to categorize her and under the laws of identity politics, these are more complicated now than the --
MURDOCH: Right. Actually, to cut you off as someone who's -- I'm actually thinking, that's [bleep] amazing.
(Laughter)
MURDOCH: Because it didn't used to be that way, but get your black ass in there. Oh, sorry sir. You said black -- my mother -- the family's secret was Dutch. Can I go? Hell no, get your yellow black ass in that room. So I think we've come a long way, it's actually -- I'm glad now we're breaking it down. Oh, black Jamaican you may go.
SOH: I personally, as a person of color. I think it's racist to be so obsessed with someone's background. Who cares at the end of the day, you know?
GUTFELD: It's true.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: I think - did I tell you? She's a neuro scientist. What else down this week, I heard something about a wall. Let's talk about that a little.
(Cheering and Applause)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: He's trying it all to get that wall. So Trump declared a national emergency, allocating $8 billion from various Fed agencies to fund construction, talked about it in the Rose Garden on Friday. I wonder, in declaring a national emergency, will he then be sued?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued. And they will sue us in the Ninth Circuit, even though it shouldn't be there and we will possibly get a bad ruling.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: And then what?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: And then we'll end up in the Supreme Court and hopefully, we'll get a fair shake and we will win in the Supreme Court, just like the ban. They sued us in the Ninth Circuit and we lost.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: And then what?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: And then we lost in the Appellate Division and then we went to the Supreme Court and we won.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: All right, I don't know if he is President or Dr. Seuss.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: Now he only got a little over a billion dollars in the budget. They could try Ted Cruz's idea, take the money seized from drug lords and pay for the wall that way, El Chapo's -- they like that.
I don't know how you do it, but El Chapo is said to be worth $14 billion and that's a lot of wall, but Trump also took the wall campaign in a different direction earlier this week.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Today, we started a big beautiful wall.
The walls that they were building were so unattractive, it's so ugly that walls got bad names.
We're getting a beautiful looking structure.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: See what he's doing? He's making the wall sexy because sex sells, so why not use it to sell the wall?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hey there, are you looking for the hottest border security this side of the Rio Grande? Do you love long, beautiful, slats? Raw, naked steel and sexy barriers that are see through in all the right places?
Then you'll love the all new southern border wall. Perfect for stopping illegal flow of narcotics, criminals and migratory land mammals, because it can't be penetrated.
There are other things walls are saying about the southern border wall. Fenway Park's Green Monster says --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I would totally bang that wall, bro.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Says the Great Wall of China.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, if you're into older walls, call me.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And the Great Barrier Reef says --
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I haven't been this turned on since I had that three way with those tiger sharks.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So call now because one way or another, these bricks are getting laid tonight.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: My god. You know, doctor, you're from Canada, we need a wall for Canada.
SOH: Not from Canadians, no, but you know, this issue I wish the people could just talk openly about it. You know, as I mentioned, I'm a horrible liberal, but the way that liberal journalists cover this is as though people who are in support of the wall are all racist, xenophobic, bigoted and anti-immigration and I don't think it's fair to conflate everyone who's concerned about security with any of those things.
GUTFELD: Yes, because the thing is if you are -- let's say, if you are a liberal -- you can applaud. If you are a liberal, you want to have a really beautiful safety net, but you can't have a beautiful safety net if you don't have a border because then no border, beautiful safety net creates total chaos right, Kat?
TIMPF: I guess.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: Why did I go to you?
TIMPF: Why would you go to me? Whenever we talked about the wall, it just feels like a personal attack.
GUTFELD: It is.
TIMPF: Because I'm going say that I'm not for the wall and everyone is going to be mean to me on the internet. It's pretty tough, guys. I mean, it's not going to -- this isn't going to work because of the executive order because of what he mentioned.
He is going to get sued. Lawyers are going to have a field day with this. If he would have been able to do this through Congress, then he would have had some legal protection. He would have had the authorization to take the private land in order to build the wall, but he is not going to have that, so I don't think it's going to work out.
GUTFELD: That was a bit too technical for me.
TIMPF: Sorry, I'm auditioning for "Special Report."
GUTFELD: Okay. She's only half kidding. Tyrus --
MURDOCH: I don't like talking about the wall because people get upset. I think what he did is what he was forced to do, but I always say the same thing. This isn't about a wall and this isn't about a border. This is about the 2020 election.
GUTFELD: Right.
MURDOCH: The Democrats are convinced that they stop him from getting the wall, they stop him from getting reelected.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.
MURDOCH: So just - he trumped their cards, fine. You won't give me that. I am going to make up the difference. And I think he's bought into that, so he gets the wall at the expense of having to declare a national emergency, which I'm against, but I understand why.
Opposition doesn't help anyone. Obstruction doesn't help anyone. So they're doing that so he was forced to do this and I think ultimately, this is going to come back on the Democrats, once again the Democrats just don't -- Democrats are crazy. Democrats invite you in, Amazon. Democrats kick you out, Amazon.
But they just really don't know what they're doing. So they give him money, but then they know he's going to -- what he was going to do at the expense of the American people. So it's just - it's sad times because they're so worried about what's going to happen in 2020 instead of just running on issues and letting America choose. Now, we're stuck in these situations.
GUTFELD: It is true Mark.
MURDOCH: And that's how you get unaroused.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: Yes. Take it home, what are your thoughts, Mark?
STEYN: I can't get the "They're going to sue us in the Ninth Circuit" song out of my head now, I'd like to be and I - particularly, when they get to the verse about, "And they're going to sue us in the Appellate Division," I like that. I don't - I would like to be listening to the "they're going to sue us in the Ninth Circuit song," smoking pot with Kamala Harris and watching bricks getting laid.
I think that would be the ultimate American expense. You said, should we have a wall on the Canadian border? Obama had that in the stimulus.
GUTFELD: Really?
STEYN: Yes, he seized land. He seized land -- farmland -- on the Vermont- Quebec border where they get two cars an hour. Anyone here from North Troy, Vermont?
MURDOCH: Anyone? Stand up. Don't be shy.
STEYN: Exactly. There is no one there.
MURDOCH: Show yourselves.
STEYN: They get two cars an hour.
GUTFELD: I thought somebody stood up and she's naked.
(Laughter)
STEYN: And he put this thing - he put this thing like the -- he widened that and put this thing like the spaceship enterprise in the middle of the North Woods. They widened it to eight lanes for two cars an hour. That's one lane for each car and six for the Department of Homeland Security to go bowling in.
I mean, this is like on the Canadian border. We will have a wall. We will be walled out long before any Mexicans are and that's just the way they do things in Washington.
GUTFELD: All right, well on that note let's move on. What exactly is this newscaster doing? She's stripping. Well, I guess I killed the suspense of that story.
(Cheering and Applause)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ROBERT GRAY, CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Robert Gray. Heather Nauert is no longer a candidate for U.N. Ambassador. The State Department spokesperson withdrew her name from consideration saying the past two months were grueling for her family. It's unclear if she'll stay in her current post. President Trump is expected to make an announcement about another nominee soon. The former journalist was nominated for the job after Nikki Haley's resignation.
And former President Obama meanwhile, has a new job. The avid basketball fan will help develop a new NBA league in Africa. The Basketball African League is set to have 12 teams in nine countries, including Angola, Egypt, Nigeria, Morocco, and Kenya. The first year of play is 2020. This is the NBA's first league outside of the U.S. I'm Robert Gray, now back to "The Greg Gutfeld Show."
GUTFELD: Can baring your skin help your side win? You know how fierce America's debate is over the wall? It's far worse in Britain over Brexit. That's the decision for the U.K. which stands for the United Kingdom, Kat, to leave the European Union.
There's a Cambridge Professor, Victoria Bateman that's been challenging pro-Brexit politicians to naked debates. I've seen her and because that's news, one of the panelists on a show at Sky News introduced the story this way.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RACHEL JOHNSON, BRITISH EDITOR: So in tribute to Dr. Bateman, I have decided to follow suit. Every time we talk about Brexit, just to make sure I get noticed around this table.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Farar is speechless.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You look good.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: No, I'm not doing that here.
STEYN: Oh, come on.
GUTFELD: Maybe Monday on "The Five," but not here. Look, Mark, sometimes people do crazy things when they're passionate about a cause. Whether it's Brexit or maybe cats.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STEYN: "I thought I saw a pussycat, a creeping up on me. I did, I saw a pussycat as plain as he could be."
"He's watching you."
"I thought I saw a pussycat. I thought I saw a pussy cat. I know I saw a pussycat. I did, I saw a pussycat. I did."
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: At least, you know, you kept your clothes on.
STEYN: Not, in the director's cut, no.
GUTFELD: All right. Dr. Soh, okay. This -- I always see this stuff is hypocritical, because everybody's laughing. It's funny. It's titillating. Everybody is -- but if you were if it were a guy, that's indecent exposure, you do jail time.
SOH: You go to prison for that. It doesn't matter what political cause you say you're supporting?
GUTFELD: Yes, I tried that. I go down to the police and they come to me in the park at midnight, they go, "I'm supporting a woman's right to choose."
(Laughter)
SOH: The thing is, so she says, this is about feminism, and she has actually gone to conferences wearing nothing but British pound notes on her bits. I'm a former sex researcher. I'm all for sex positivity. I'm all for women. You know, being proud of your body. There's no shame in nudity, but as a scholar, I don't feel it's appropriate.
I don't feel like this is going to help female academics be taken more seriously. If anything, I think it's going to hurt them and she talks about how women's bodies are only for sex and babies. Well, like you said for men, they're not running around showing their things either.
GUTFELD: Yes, thank God for that. Tyrus, you know if I did that -- if I did that, I would be frog marched out of this building. They wouldn't even give me time to put my clothes on.
MURDOCH: Yes, they would. Yes, they would.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: No, they would throw a --
MURDOCH: One hundred percent.
GUTFELD: They would throw blanket over me.
MURDOCH: As a guy who was formerly in security, the first thing would be, "Sir, please don't make us tase you. Put the clothes on."
GUTFELD: But you know, what if a man happens to enjoy a good tase?
MURDOCH: Do you have a question? This is a really difficult show for me. There's nudity, and --
GUTFELD: Stop it.
MURDOCH: And voiceovers.
GUTFELD: Just get to the point. Does this help the cause or hurt a cause?
MURDOCH: I feel no matter how I answer this, I'm sexually harassing someone.
GUTFELD: Okay, then don't.
MURDOCH: So I'm not going to answer it. I'm just going to say, good for you.
GUTFELD: No, should have said, "You go, girl." Because that's what you say to everything.
MURDOCH: No, I do -- what?
GUTFELD: Not you.
MURDOCH: When the hell have you ever heard me say, "You go girl."
GUTFELD: No, I'm saying --
MURDOCH: That is a completely fabricated lie. That's fake news. I never in my life, in any form of my time in this planet said, "You go girl." You can't even say that when I --
GUTFELD: When I mean you, I meant the general you.
MURDOCH: I am not a general nobody. I'm me and I don't say, "You go girl."
GUTFELD: All right, Mark.
MURDOCH: You're out of your damn mind. Don't put that on me, Greg Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: Mark, help me you.
STEYN: You go, girl.
(Laughter)
MURDOCH: Even with the Canadian accent, it doesn't help it.
GUTFELD: Kat, won't guys encourage this as political enlightenment in order just to see a naked lady.
TIMPF: You know, I've got to be honest, Greg.
GUTFELD: What?
TIMPF: My dad is watching.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: And I just want to say that it was very difficult for me to come up with talking points for this story because I have never actually seen a naked person.
GUTFELD: Oh, amazing.
TIMPF: Not even myself.
GUTFELD: Really, really? No mirrors.
TIMPF: No, I shower with a bathing suit on the way the Lord intended.
(Laughter)
TIMPF: And not a bikini. A one piece.
GUTFELD: Fantastic.
TIMPF: In fact, I don't know what a bikini is. What's a bikini, Tyrus?
MURDOCH: Oh, a bikini is something you put over your head when lightning strikes for lying. I don't think it can get through here.
GUTFELD: All right, all right. We've got to move on. She threw a chair off a balcony 40 stories high. What happens next? We discuss at length while you listen quietly and coo over my hair.
(Cheering and Applause)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: What punishment is fair for throwing a chair? Ask yourself that as I show you this video of a 19-year-old who tossed a chair off a high rise balcony in Toronto. There's no sound on tape, but watch anyway.
(VIDEO PLAYS)
GUTFELD: She is a ray of sunshine.
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: Let's see that again. That is unbelievable to me. That video got shared on social media. Toronto Police went out and said, "Hey, crazy person turn yourself in," and she did. She was charged on a few counts including mischief, endangering life which in Canadian law means if you did something that puts people in danger, you could go to jail.
Thankfully, luckily, nobody got hurt, but will that or should that lessen her punishment? For more we turn to our legal expert, Larry. Larry, if no one got hurt should that lessen her punishment?
(VIDEO PLAYS)
GUTFELD: He's of limited intelligence, but he charges cheap rates. Doc, there's a lot of science out there that says the person you are when you're 19 is not the person you are when you're 29 and we're all like -- her brain is not fully formed. How do you punish somebody like that? What do you do?
SOH: I mean that's fair to say because the human brain doesn't actually develop until your late 20s. However, I live in Toronto. I want to say I hope all your viewers know not Torontonians are this idiotic.
GUTFELD: Yes.
SOH: And actually our mayor actually denounced her behavior and also called it quite stupid. But you know, the fact that when you look at her behavior when she left the courthouse, so who thinks it's a good idea to throw a chair off the -- what is it? The 45th floor?
GUTFELD: Right.
SOH: Into oncoming traffic then to also have it filmed and then to put it on social media? And the fact that she was grinning to reporters as she was leaving the courthouse, that that's what I would find concerning. The fact that she doesn't feel bad about it.
GUTFELD: See, that is amazing to me. Mark, what kind of punishment do you think? Do you think her punishment should be mitigated by the sheer luck that no one died?
STEYN: No, I don't. But we live in an age when people who you are at 19, so if at 19, like all these in Virginia, where you know the entire Democratic Party at 19 --
GUTFELD: True.
STEYN: Woke mammy saying, I don't even get that. But that's who they are when they are 67. It doesn't matter. You don't change. Liam Neeson had a bad thought when he was 19 and about some guy who raped a friend of his and like 50 years later, he's not allowed to have a different -- so who you are now, this 19-year-old will be the chair -- by the way, you're wrong. Don't believe Dr. Soh. Chair throwing is a Canadian tradition. It's a rite of passage. There's nothing else to do.
It used to be in the last bit of the "Curling," if you've ever watched "Curling" they used to throw the chair.
GUTFELD: I don't believe that.
STEYN: To lug the chair across into the apartment across the street and all Canadian kids do it. Celine Dion came home the other night, I walked into our living room and it was full of Gordon Lightfoot's furniture, so no idea where anything had gone.
GUTFELD: I don't believe that. Although, I admire the fact that you mentioned Gordon Lightfoot. One of the most underrated Canadians, right?
STEYN: All of us Canadian are underrated.
GUTFELD: Except for Nickelback. Tyrus, do people change?
MURDOCH: I don't care what she changes or when she changes. I just know that she and the person filming and everyone involved should be charged with manslaughter. Her lawyer tried to use the ridiculous excuse that it was peer pressure.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: You're going to feel some peer pressure when you're in prison, ma. There is going to be some peers pressuring you to do some stuff you didn't think you had to do. Not only that, the fact that -- what kills me about social media now is Twitter and Instagram, although they're inconsistent. If you say something bad or terrible about somebody or make a comment, they will take your post down right away.
GUTFELD: Right.
MURDOCH: Or if you want to post a video on Facebook, you usually get a thing that it's being checked to make sure it's not copyrighted or anything wrong.
GUTFELD: Right.
MURDOCH: Where was -- I believe, it was YouTube on this to where somebody could have been killed. Many people could have been killed. The accidents could have been horrible. Not only would you have scared the life out of whoever hit their windshield, they would have peeled off into somebody else, and there was a diesel down there on the driveway, so it's the act. It's attempted manslaughter.
So I don't see any other defense than just plead it out because she should -- and I believe the sentence is up to life imprisonment for the really -- because Canadians make things a lot longer than it needs to be. It was like attempted mischief of unharming a civilian -- manslaughter, Jack. She attempted to hurt somebody. She should - and the person filming is just as culpable.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MURDOCH: So I don't give a damn what she's going to be like when she is 29.
GUTFELD: Kat, have you ever done anything close to that?
(Laughter)
TIMPF: No.
GUTFELD: No.
TIMPF: But I do think that we're being too hard on her.
GUTFELD: Really?
TIMPF: We don't know what happened. Maybe that chair like slept with her boyfriend.
(Laughter)
TIMPF: You never know. She was just in passion and she had to throw. No, I don't understand like, why would she - why would she do this? Was she just looking at it? Like I don't want to sit down right now. Normally, when I don't want to sit down, I just don't sit down. I've never had had such an emotional response to a chair. I've never had any emotional response to a chair, not to brag I'm quite stable.
GUTFELD: Yes, up next, is Jonah Hill giving up making bro comedies because they glorify toxic masculinity? Or because they stink. I'm good either way.
(Cheering and Applause)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Is Jonah Hill a feminist shill? I speak of that odd-shaped actor who became famous for his roles in so-called bro films like "Superbad" and "Knocked Up, but now he's changed. Yes, he says he wants his future projects to quote, "Challenge traditional masculinity," good for him.
This week at a film festival he said, quote, "I'm learning I've got to unlearn a lot of stuff, and maybe some of the people that liked "Superbad" will come with me on that journey." Oh it's always a journey.
Of course he was promoting a film he directed which challenges traditional male roles and it's got me thinking, how would Jonah Hill remake other classic movies you know like "Die Hard," that might become something like "Stretch Gently"?
(Laughter)
GUTFELD: You know one of the great movies of all-time, "Predator," would be called "Therapist." There it is. And "Dirty Harry" one of the best would be remade as "Slightly Unkempt Aiden." Everybody's named Aiden now, Tyrus. "Oh, there's my son Aiden." Aiden this, Aiden that. Shut up, I don't care. Masculinity is now a disorder, apparently.
MURDOCH: Yes, I got it like three or four times. I got a fatal case of masculinity. I'm going to keep it. I'll take it to my grave. Look, this is what bothers me. I fight -- one of the things I do about comedy and humor is I feel like it needs to talk about situations like toxic masculinity or racism or sexism or whatever.
That's what humor does. It makes us laugh at real life things and bring us together where we can all make jokes and understanding about different ways of looking at things, so you always want to support artists when they do those things and then you have someone who's trying to make a change, so he now wants to bash everything he did before because he wants you to watch this new movie now.
And that's what I have the issue with. If you're -- it's comedy. "Superbad" wasn't a documentary on how to behave and have friends, you know I'm saying, like - and Jonah Hill, with all due respect, sir, I don't think anyone's ever accused you of being toxic masculine.
(Cheering and Applause)
MURDOCH: He is the lovable guy that you really don't -- you know, he's the guy that everyone kind of picks on in the movies and stuff. He is the lovable adult usually.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's true.
MURDOCH: So for him to talk about toxic masculinity is like me talking about ballet. I just don't - I should talk about it.
GUTFELD: You know Doc, what about toxic femininity? When is that going to rear its ugly head?
SOH: Well, good luck with that with today's feminism. You know, I think he's playing to what the trends are. So before, it was bro culture which was very cool in the early 2000s and now everyone wants to woke -- well not everyone wants to work male feminist but that's what's considered trendy nowadays.
I've written about male feminists before and how I think they're all just very sneaky and they're using it as a way to get women.
GUTFELD: Right.
MURDOCH: Boom. Good - great point, Doc. Thank you.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: It's true.
SOH: And it's one thing if you are for equality of women as I think all men should be, but if you're running around with [bleep] on and you're going to the Women's March and you're wearing this giant badge that says, "I'm an ally" and you're listening to I don't know, the Indigo Girls, no offense to that to them if they ever have to watch this, but you know it's clearly you're trying to pick up women and I wish male feminists would just go away.
(Cheering and Applause)
GUTFELD: Yes. Mark, you are no male feminist.
STEYN: No and look, no one - to go to Dr. Soh's point, no women, even liberal women like the woke male feminists, they can't stand to be with them. After like three minutes in the room with the guy sitting across the table with you, you're sick of it and so the rest of us, we don't all wear the [bleep] hat and listen to the Indigo Girls, it's a bit much, but we'd like pretend to be you know the toxic masculine male. he pretends to be interested in what a woman --
MURDOCH: We don't pretend nothing, bro.
STEYN: Oh, sorry. But what I find odd about this is that you said like the bro comedies of the early 2000s were like that. That was a toxic masculine era, and I don't remember -- I remember it like the 1990s wasn't toxically masculine. The 1890s were toxically masculine. Jekyll and Hyde, that guy is toxically masculine. I don't get - you know, Rudyard Kipling, "You'll be a man, my son," that was toxically masculine.
(Applause)
GUTFELD: Kat, you know what I hate? People who always talk about a journey and it's not a real journey. I hope you take this journey with me. But you're not really going anywhere. I prefer real journeys. Like in a car or a plane or a train.
TIMPF: Yes, Jonah Hill needs to shut up because this [bleep] is ruining men.
GUTFELD: Yes.
(Cheering and Applause)
TIMPF: The last guy that I dated cried more than I did and I once cried because my dad told me I look tired. I don't want to see you cry. I want to see you in the forest chopping wood, okay.
(Cheering and Applause)
TIMPF: You should not have time to cry because you'll be too busy fixing things up around my apartment and offering to pay for my dinner. If there's a spider in my apartment, you can't be shrieking in the corner with me. You've got to go man up and kill that [bleep].
MURDOCH: Here we go. Stop. She is not done.
TIMPF: And you know what, every -- like the couple of guys that I've dated have complained to me like, you don't pay enough attention to my feelings. You're not supposed to have that many feelings. I am supposed to have all the feelings that I talk to you about and annoy you and then you go to the bar with your friends and drink beer and grunt at each other. That's what you're supposed to do. So shut up, Jonah Hill. You're ruining everything.
MURDOCH: Go to commercial.
GUTFELD: All right. Okay, we've got to move on.
(Cheering and Applause)
MURDOCH: You go, girl.
GUTFELD: Don't forget, "The Gutfeld Monologues Live," returns next month. The first show in Tampa sold out, but tickets for shows in D.C., Detroit, Dallas several other cities are still available. Go to ggutfeld.com for ticket info.
(Cheering and Applause)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to Mark Steyn, Dr. Debra Soh, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, studio audience,
I'm Greg Gutfeld, and I love you, America.
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