Obama endorses Joe Biden in attempt to unite Democratic Party

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Obama endorses Joe Biden in attempt to unite Democratic Party

Democrats rally around the presumptive nominee; reaction and analysis on 'The Greg Gutfeld Show.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," April 18, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: So you heard, we're opening up America again. President Trump gave states guidelines to start easing lockdown restrictions and the medical experts are on-board. It's a three-phase process that starts once a region sees a downward trend in COVID-19 cases for two weeks.

Phase 1, still have got to avoid groups of more than ten. Restaurants, gyms and places of worship can open with social distancing guidelines. And you can finally have that elective surgery. Butt implants, here I come. But that's a good thing, and of course, those at risk need to stay home. Also good.

Phase 2, avoid groups of 50 or more. Schools can reopen. Bars can reopen with diminished occupancy -- sounds like me and non-essential travel can resume.

Phase 3, for states with no signs of a coronavirus rebound, workplaces can resume with unrestricted staffing and visits to hospitals and senior living facilities can resume.

So of these fairly specific guidelines, what did Nancy Pelosi call them? Vague and inconsistent.

But how dialed in is she, really? Let's check in with the butt-kisser to the stars, James Corden.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JAMES CORDEN, LATE NIGHT SHOW HOST: What are you going to share with us from your home?

REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): Chocolate.

CORDEN: Really?

PELOSI: Chocolate, chocolate candy.

CORDEN: Oh wow.

PELOSI: And this is -- this is something you can get through the mail.

CORDEN: Okay.

PELOSI: Come on out. I'm going to show you.

CORDEN: Yes, absolutely. This is the episode of cribs I never knew I needed. Oh my. Wow.

PELOSI: Other people in our family look for some other flavors, but chocolate and then we have some other chocolate here.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh, Nan-nan. You've offered no practical advice, preferring to snipe, and now you're showing off your double-wide freezers stocked with enough ice cream to feed Guam.

I have a rule, the more removed you are from the consequences of a calamity, the less you matter in discussing that calamity. So sit this one out Nancy and keep stuffing your frozen face with frozen yogurt.

Meanwhile, of the guidelines, Joe Biden said this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Well, I wouldn't call it a plan. I think what he's done, he's kind of punted. He has decided that he doesn't have the right to make the call for the country and he talks about phases that in a generic sense seemed to me from all I've learned and all I've listened in my morning briefs from the docs I talk to, is not -- it is not irrational, but it doesn't give you any hard guidelines.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: What the hell is he talking about? First, if Trump decided to call the shots, Joe, would have called him a dictator, a tyrant.

So, now Trump offers a framework that lets governors make the call and now, he is punting? I'd say Joe is playing politics, but in his head he's probably playing Yahtzee. Maybe he should join Nancy's ice cream in the freezer. God knows, there's room.

But as this surreal moment in time continues, so do you -- for now.

There are stresses and they're starting to show. I'm not going to lie. It's been a strain on relationships.

This was my wife and I before the quarantine -- and this is us now. Yes, it's getting to everyone and creating a world of disturbing mysteries.

Like who is the person in Taneytown, Maryland getting his mail in his underwear?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In this newfound era of stay home save lives comes this Facebook post from Taneytown Police, which reads, "Please remember to put pants on before leaving the house to check your mail box."

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, actually I know a friend that used to do that and he was in Taneytown.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's funny to me. It's funny how men should go in their underwear and just have a good old day. It's really nice. Hey, you go for the breeze somehow, you know.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It's good advice to put pants on before leaving the house and not just in shutdowns, but I've got to wonder who could they be referring to?

Look, you know, I get it. No job, no schedule. TV on all day. It's like being Dana's dog.

In Michigan, you saw a massive protest against a governor who said you couldn't buy gardening seeds. Gardening seeds. If that's not micro, micromanaging, what is? Seeds. It seems like an essential thing at a pandemic, no? Unlike clueless politicians.

So, naturally people like, what the hell. See we will trust our leaders until they push their luck and then we get pissed, seeds or no seeds.

So, right now, we're looking at a pretty calm, cool and collected America but it could be like those fake sets on old TV westerns and what you find behind the calm facade is unrest, without pants.

I have a theory that we're all telepathic. That you and I at times know exactly what both of us are thinking because we are thinking the same thing.

You know, what I mean, right?

See, you do. Let's say you and I are in a bar and some dude shows up with a snake and a tutu. You and I don't need to say a thing. We know without making eye contact, this place is great.

This telepathy -- telepathy -- also happens on Oscar night into the third hour of this oozing wound of entertainment. The entire country knows it's time to turn it off, and we do, without even talking to each other.

We are like a boy band, NSYNC, we are a connected brain not separate identities, races or genders. Our humanity unites us and tells us when we are ready and now, it feels like we are ready. Maybe to go back to work in phases. I think it's week five and we're patient, we're patriotic, but you know and I know that there's going to be a limit.

We're adults. We did the heroic thing, but now we have to do the realistic thing which is weighing the risks of future behavior.

We can't be shut down forever. We sacrificed a lot to protect the vulnerable and we still will do that, but as the unemployment rate inches closer to horrifying, we've got to ask, how much more can we take?

Meanwhile, what's Adam Schiff doing? Remember the guy who was always trying to catch up with his eyeballs? He says his House Intelligence Committee is conducting real-time oversight of Trump's coronavirus response, but from home, so the guy who captured all the attention with no win impeachment porn causing the media to miss this outbreak is now trying to do it again.

Man, you can imagine what he is really doing at home.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Adam Schiff's quarantine video diary.

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING REP. ADAM SCHIFF: Rememberm, clean hands. Very important. Always remember, wear your masks. I myself like to go with the triple protection. Come and get me, Corona.

I think it's time to flatten some curves of my own. Make it burn.

Remember your social distancing. Keep six feet away at all times. Did you hear that, Wilson? Get away. Wilson. Wilson.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh, I miss him. The other news -- Trump announced that we're pulling funding from the abysmal inept World Health Organization and whose side did this sheep take?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN KING, CNN CHIEF NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: This is an attempt by the President to steer you away from his own actions.

JIM ACOSTA, CNN CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: If you go through the scapegoats that he has blamed so far for this coronavirus pandemic, the W.H.O., members of the news media, Democrats in Congress.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What you're seeing is a President who deflects, demeans and denounces others as opposed to taking responsibility.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It's amazing how every day to the media is still the first day of Trump's presidency. They refuse to see that Trump is just initiating a process he has done a million times, forcing an entity to do a better job or else.

Show the guy a tire, and he's going to kick it. Unlike the media, he understands incentives and persuasion. He is the adult in the room. The media, the children who see tough decisions as scary and mean, I don't think they're going to get through this. But you will.

The economy is going to return and you're going to exit this strange surreal moment in time smarter, wiser, stronger. We did the right thing. We sacrificed a lot, but maybe it's time for some of us to get back to work. If we don't, we're all screwed.

It won't be the proverbial light switch, it's more like a fancy light dimmer, but you don't have to listen to me. It's okay because I'm listening to you and I hear what you're saying.

It's almost like we're thinking the same thoughts.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He could kill you with a Fig Newton and then eat the Fig Newton, former C.I.A. operative and host of "Black Files Declassified" on Science Channel, Mike Baker.

He is my fourth favorite Tom after Skerritt, Selleck and Bosley, host of "The Quiz Show" on Fox Nation, Tom Shillue.

She's the pinnacle of cynical, host of "Sincerely Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.

His baby clothes fit me perfectly, my massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

All right. Let's go to Mike, you look like you're part of the A-Team. What do you think of Trump's plan up? What do you think of Trump's Plan?

MIKE BAKER, FORMER C.I.A. OPERATIVE: Well, you know, I like it. I disagree with Joe Biden's comments that it seems, you know uncoordinated and not presenting any guidelines.

Look, Trump has got to be the world's greatest troller, right? He he came out and said that he had the total authority to decide when and how to reopen the country. The media went crazy, as did the resistance. They went crazy for a few days.

And then what does he do? They issue guidelines that give the decision- making to the governors, which is what the governors wanted all along, so I think it makes sense.

The only point that doesn't make any sense is in the first phase, in the very first phase of this, you're allowed to reopen the gyms because God forbid, there's no way that anything to get passed along or transmitted in a room full of sweaty people who are doing everything but licking the equipment.

So, I love a gym. I just think maybe the gym should be in Phase 2 perhaps.

GUTFELD: You might be right. By the way, you pointed out what Trump had done with the governors, it was the Tom Sawyer paint the fence trick.

He got them to paint the fence. It was brilliant.

All right, Shillue, what are you making of the situation? It seems like either way, we're faced with some kind of risk, no matter what we do.

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: But I think most people now they want to get back to work. I mean, we're working now, we're not together, Greg. I think you're in the next room if I'm right, but we are learning how to separate. We're learning how to prevent, you know getting this illness.

So why not let us get back to work and show all the things we've learned. We've got to get out of our houses and I think the President realizes that.

GUTFELD: Yes, Kat, what do you make of the protests in your home State of Michigan?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Well, first of all, I just want to say there's a huge problem with something in your monologue. I have to get that out of the way.

Why do people have to wear pants to check the mail? Look, these are trying times, okay, and if someone out there can get a slightest little thrill from going out walking the fifty to a hundred steps to the mailbox, all right, with their butt flapping out in the wind, who are you or I to take that joy away? Okay?

But again, the protests -- look, the social distancing is important. I know things are bad in Michigan right now. I don't understand how more people are going to get sick if people are buying seeds to grow crops.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: That doesn't make sense. Again, though, the governors have the decision-making and I completely agree with you and I completely agree with Mike Baker that when everyone was going nuts saying he doesn't want responsibility for any of this, I was just thinking to myself, you know, I'm old enough to remember when people were mad about the total authority and I'm only old enough because I was alive on, you know, like Tuesday.

You know -- I had a problem with the total authority comment, too. I'm not saying you can never have a problem with anything he says, but if you're getting mad equally about opposite things in the same week, you don't have a problem with the thing, you just have a problem because he is the one saying it.

Think a little. Like have a principle. Like one even.

GUTFELD: One. You know you made me think about people going to the mailbox without pants. I wonder if there's a half nudist camp where people only get half nude, Tyrus. Have you ever thought about that?

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Not until just now and I wish I hadn't. It will forever live in my brain.

GUTFELD: I apologize.

MURDOCH: And is that my question?

GUTFELD: No.

MURDOCH: Nudist.

GUTFELD: Oh I like that you're in front of fish now. Are you going to be eating those fish?

MURDOCH: No, these are my fish children, Greg. How dare you? How dare you?

Yes, I'm going to be eating the fish, Greg.

GUTFELD: What do you make of the phased back to work plan?

MURDOCH: I love them. I love them. I wish we could get to Phase 7 now where we don't have to go back, ever, you know like you just go out in the wilderness and everyone just be outside for a few months. I think that would be great.

I think it was a great plan. I think -- I think it's funny. I've now since I've had so much time to watch TV, I'm convinced that is just the media, the mainstream media is just backseat drivers.

No matter which way you go, they have a better way. He literally said, I'll take the responsibility. I've got it. No, how dare you? Okay, fine. You guys get it. How dare you?

Like, it doesn't matter. How dare you? How about I won't do anything. How dare you? Like it doesn't matter what the sentence is.

He can go up to those -- he could have those news conferences where he comes up to speak and it doesn't matter what he talks about. He literally could be talking about he had for breakfast and I guarantee you, half them would be like, what? No protein? He just had cereal. How dare you?

GUTFELD: The reason why they do this, the reason why politicians and media do it because they don't want skin in the game. They want to wait till after something happens and then they can come in like the vultures they are.

But they don't want -- they don't want any responsibility for choices. Go wash your hands and your feet.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Look who is come out of hiding, just to help poor Biden. Now that 28 other Democrats have dropped out of the race and there's just one left, former President Obama says Joe is totally his guy as opposed, you know, to the other choices that aren't there anymore.

But also because Joe is really nice and you know, Trump is a big meanie.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The kind of leadership that's guided by knowledge and experience, honesty and humility, empathy and grace -- that kind of leadership doesn't just belong in our state capitals and mayor's offices. It belongs in the White House.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Sick burn, Obama. Meanwhile, AOC says she wants Joe to get more progressive. There's a surprise.

And Liz Warren endorsed Joe, something she might make a good running mate for him. That could be her new name -- chief running mate. It never gets old.

In fact Liz says if Joe asked her, she'd say yes. I wonder how that conversation will go.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Joe Biden FaceTimes Liz Warren.

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING JOE BIDEN: Hunter, is that you?

TIMPF IMPERSONATING ELIZABETH WARREN: Hi, it's Liz Warren. I'd heard you were looking for a VP.

SHILLUE: No, come on, man. I said PB and J.

TIMPF: Oh, I can find anything. I circumnavigated the high seas with Magellan in 1507. Beautiful year.

SHILLUE: Oh, an explorer, huh. Maybe you can help find my dentures. I left them in a Sears bathroom.

TIMPF: Of course. Love the Sears. In law school, I built the Sears Tower with my bare hands.

SHILLUE: You know, you and I have a lot in common. I used to play poker with a fearless street cat named Gus and he went to college.

TIMPF: College. Yes, I was roommates with Harriet Tubman. We would have white claw Wednesday's in the Underground Railroad.

SHILLUE: It sounds like fun.

TIMPF: I teach competitive axe-throwing to blind alcoholic babies.

SHILLUE: It's important to give back.

TIMPF: I founded the first SAT prep course for snapping turtles with ADHD.

SHILLUE: Man, that's a lot of letters.

TIMPF: I invented the alphabet.

SHILLUE: That's good. That's real good, Hunter.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That was pretty damn funny. Kat, why does --

SHILLUE: Why does Kat make Liz Warren look better, but somehow I make Joe look worse?

GUTFELD: I don't know. Both of you together are amazing, but Kat, you know what's interesting is people forget that Liz destroyed Bloomberg over sexual harassment claims and he would have been a better President than Biden.

But now, she is like okay with Biden who is accused of sexual assault, and she's not saying anything.

TIMPF: It's almost as if she just wants to be elected and will just say stuff that helps her get places, but again, I think that she would be an excellent VP. You know Joe is an old white guy and a woman of color would really add something, you know, some diversity to the ticket and that would be excellent.

GUTFELD: True.

TIMPF: I mean, yes, I just -- I don't truly believe that anyone truly believes that what we need in this time of crisis, oh boy, if only Joe Biden were in charge, okay.

You can have problems with the way that Trump has handled things. You can have problems with the way a lot of people have handled things because again everybody caught this wrong.

So, I really hate the narrative from the Democrats like they were blowing the whistle on this the whole time. It's like in February, you were only talking about impeachment. March 10th, Bill de Blasio was on TV saying, oh you know, it's no big deal coronavirus.

So, it's just a bunch of garbage, this narrative. We need to focus on solving these things and again, the one thing that Joe Biden I think could do to help us through this that Trump can't is he is used to not knowing what day it is.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: So, he can kind of help us through -- those of us who were still getting used to it for the first time.

GUTFELD: That is so true. You know, Tom, I think the problem with Joe is he doesn't mind anything he says. Like he'll go along to get along, so he'll move far to the left so far that Noam Chomsky will get nervous.

He is just happy to be in the picture.

SHILLUE: That's right. He should have rejected this endorsement. He should have said, I don't need it now. I don't need Obama. I did this on my own because that was his whole thing.

GUTFELD: That's true.

SHILLUE: He says, I don't want him to endorse me. He pretended he asked him. Remember what he said? I called Obama and I said don't endorse me. I want to do this on my own.

So when he endorsed him, he should have said, I don't need you now.

And the thing is, I don't think Barack Obama is that excited about Joe. Did you see that video?

GUTFELD: No.

SHILLUE: I mean, there was no yes we can. Even his tweet, he didn't tweet, yes, we can. He tweeted, let's go. Let's go.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. It was 12 minutes.

TIMPF: All right, I'll go.

GUTFELD: Of him complaining about Trump's personality, Tyrus, do you think in Obama's heart he wanted to do that? I know we can't read minds, but it did feel kind of --

MURDOCH: I can -- I can say as one brother to another, President Obama, I have been in that situation where I have been called to give a reference for like a cousin or brother that I know that isn't really that great of a person or qualified, and they're like, hey, can you tell us a few things about him?

Yes, he's honest and has integrity and stuff. He just -- Obama said a bunch of adjectives and just kind of left it there. I think it was one of those things that were --

TIMPF: Yes, there was definitely some thesaurus.com involved in that.

MURDOCH: It was a forced reference. We've all been there. If you ever had to co-sign for a relative for a car that you know you're going to end up making the car payment on, it's that place. It's that kind of video.

Yes, I'm doing it because I've been asked to do it, but I'm not really in it.

GUTFELD: Mike, enjoying that water?

BAKER: Yes, it's tasty. It is tasty. I've got plenty of water here in Idaho.

GUTFELD: I know it's gin. Are you going to drink all of that gin and go to bed on your little single twin bed behind you and god knows what you're going to do.

BAKER: I'm going to do that halfway through the show, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, quickly.

BAKER: I agree with -- I agree with Tyrus. I agree with Tyrus. It's like -- hey, it was no surprise that Obama, you know endorsed Biden, and it's also the weakest endorsement a President or a former President has ever given. Absolutely.

It's like -- it's like you've got one person left standing waiting to be chosen for kickball because everybody else has been taken and okay, I'm going to take you.

There was no meaning to it. I agree with you also, he didn't want to do it, but he had no choice, right?

So, look, great. I do think that Warren is not going to get the VP pick. I think that's absolutely out of the question, but I applaud the dramatic presentation that we all viewed just a short while ago.

I thought Tom and Kat knocked it out of the park.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Better than anything on "SNL," that's for sure. All right, back with more after this. Wash other body parts just to be safe.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ASHLEY STROHMIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters, I'm Ashley Strohmeier. Hospitals across the country are facing an urgent need for dialysis machines. This, as there is a growing number of COVID-19 patients suffering from kidney failure, anywhere from 20 to 40 percent need emergency dialysis and that is according to a report in "The New York Times."

Hospitals in several hotspots including New York City, Boston, New Orleans and Detroit have patients in need of kidney treatment, however, reportedly lacked the resources to provide that care.

Also, graduation ceremonies for the U.S. Military Academy at West Point are now slated for June 13th instead of May 23rd. President Trump is delivering the commencement address.

Earlier today, Vice President Pence addressed the graduates of the U.S. Air Force Academy. Social distancing was observed, but Pence did not wear a mask.

I'm Ashley Strohmier. Now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW.

GUTFELD: Are we losing our mind from this lonely grind? It's a topic of this week's --

ANNOUNCER: Home-Ageddon.

GUTFELD: I'll never get tired of that one. A new study finds that 44 percent of Americans are lonelier than ever before, thanks to the virus.

Among people's top concerns health, employment and missing out on birthdays, graduations and Lou Dobbs' hot tub parties which are legendary.

Meanwhile, the Federal Disaster Distress Helpline, those calls are up 891 percent versus this time last year, and apparently no one can remember what day it is.

Searches for the phrase what day it is have spiked on Google -- strange -- without our social routines, says one doctor, the difference between Friday and Saturday has been temporarily erased. Makes sense.

That's why it's a great time to focus on the little things like how to stop my bird from being such a stupid jerk.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: That is the greatest bird I have ever seen, Tyrus. How are you holding up? Are you feeling lonely? You've got kids. Do you think this is - - the people that answered this --

MURDOCH: Yes, I'm never alone, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: I am never alone. I don't know what that's like.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And I love it. I love being surrounded constantly. It's like this fish tank, we're just happy in this small enclosed area together. Pay no attention to the cannibalism. They're just -- we're all just happy.

GUTFELD: Well, that's good.

MURDOCH: And I know who's called that number that many times, but you know, I feel bad for the people that are stuck at home alone. They just don't -- I feel for them.

GUTFELD: I worry about the -- I worry about the elderly especially -- I mean, seriously people in homes and Tom, I mean, like you also have family at home, but like people can't visit their grandparents.

You know, that's brutal.

SHILLUE: It is. It is trying for a lot of people, especially people who have -- people in elder care and they want to visit them, but they can't because a dangerous situation, so they're going through that.

I think a lot of people are going to have a depression after this is all over because there are a lot of people, I mean, you see it on social media and there's people at home, they're watching the news. They're keeping up with all the changes, so somehow this crisis is giving them meaning, but when this all goes away and it will go away, it's going to be like the O.J. trial.

Like, my mother didn't know what to do when that trial was over.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: She was just watching TV for that whole year, so when this thing does go away and people would go back to normal, I think that there's a lot of people who don't want it to go back to normal because this thing gives them meaning, do you know what I'm saying?

That it is a crisis. That's what happens. People do come together in these things.

GUTFELD: Well, it's an interesting point. People might not want it to go away if they don't work -- if they're not financially insecure, but I can see that Mike that like maybe, you know, maybe this is -- maybe this does give meaning to people, but it's a luxury if you've got to eat. Meaning doesn't put food on the table.

BAKER: No, that's right. First of all, kudos to Tom for comparing the pandemic to the O.J. trial. Yes, I hadn't heard that one before. That's brand-new.

But you're absolutely right. Look if you're -- if you're on salary, if you're still getting your paycheck, if you like, Tyrus or like myself you're self-isolated with your family and so you're not sitting there all by yourself, maybe with your cat or your dog for company.

Then you know -- and you don't have anybody affected by the virus, just shut the hell up, right. And don't complain. We're not being asked to drop into a war zone and risk our lives.

But if you've lost your paycheck, if you've got bills to make, if you've got loved ones in a facility like Tom said you can't visit them. If you know somebody who's passed away or is sick from this virus, yes, you've got every reason to be concerned and probably upset, depressed slightly, so I understand that 891 percent increase on those phone calls.

GUTFELD: Right.

BAKER: But again, we're going to get through this, right? We're going to get through it and also, it goes back to that idea of opening up the government, right? We can do two things at one time.

We can take care of the most vulnerable, we can also get back to work. We've been like a bunch of sheep in a pasture, right, in a way. I've been surprised at how we've gone along with this to some degree, but I understand all the concern, I just think now is the time to multitask.

Take care of it. Be alert. Be careful, but also let's start getting things going forward again.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, this thing about not knowing the day, I believe that no matter what happens, Saturday always feels like Saturday and Sunday feels like Sunday. You can't go out on a Friday and pretend that it's Monday like your brain is already hardwired for that thing.

Look, I've tried to pretend that a day off is really a workday and then I try to surprise myself because I'm a weirdo and it never works.

TIMPF: Yes. No, it doesn't. I just wanted to wholeheartedly disagree with something that Mike said though.

GUTFELD: Okay.

TIMPF: He said that if everything is fine, you still have your job.

BAKER: Oh, my god.

TIMPF: You shouldn't complain, I hate that narrative and I hate that like the memes that are all running around like your grandparents were called to war and you're being called to sit on the couch and that is correct.

Like I get it and I recognize that me having to stay home --

BAKER: So you do agree with me then.

TIMPF: It's not as bad so you do it as bad as having to fight in a war where I would certainly, certainly perish. I get that, but I don't think you should to have to be like all this pressure to stay positive all the time because although it could be worse and it certainly could be much worse for me, sometimes I'm sad.

BAKER: It could be worse.

TIMPF: And that's okay because society is collapsing and you've got to let yourself feel sad because if you don't --

BAKER: It's not collapsing. Society is not collapsing.

TIMPF: Being sad and ashamed of being sad, so gratitude is good, positivity is good, but the pressure is not.

GUTFELD: This is a fight between generations.

TIMPF: It sure is.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And everyone is going to be on his side.

BAKER: I represent the younger generation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: And by the way every day is like Sunday.

GUTFELD: Especially in your little prison where you're waterboarding, God knows who back there.

All right, time for a break. I don't know what's going on in there. Take your temperature, the mouth this time.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Shall we hold a wake for the handshake? If this self-isolation thing has taught us anything, it's that we really don't need a lot of things we thought we did, like gym memberships and deodorant and window shades. What's the point? I spray painted it black.

Anyway, Dr. Fauci has already said we shouldn't ever shake hands again. Delta Airlines is now boarding planes from back to front, rear entry.

So for now, there's at least an upside to sitting right by the toilets. Movie theaters might reopen in late July, but will people return after surviving by streaming services? And how about those spam phone calls? Complaints about spam callers dropped 58 percent this week, which means either there's fewer spam calls, or we just don't mind them anymore.

Like my neighbor Dolores, she'll talk to anyone.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Well, that was beautiful, really beautiful. Tom, there's some things like handshakes that I'm not going to miss, but I keep thinking what happens to the joy buzzer industry?

Here is an industry that will go away with the handshake.

SHILLUE: It's so true. You can't fool anyone with that joy buzzer anymore, but can we admit that Howie Mandel was way ahead of the curve on this thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: I mean, he was against hand shaking years ago, but I want to give up the handshaking. I never liked it and you know what, I'm going to go even further than Dr. Fauci, I'm going to say don't greet anybody anymore, just walk right by them.

GUTFELD: Wow. Just walk right by.

SHILLUE: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know, I don't like people who hug me, I find that strange, but there's a lot of huggers out there, Kat. You seem like you don't like hugging either.

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: So, this is actually good. We now have an excuse to remain apart.

TIMPF: Oh, but the thing -- that's the thing, that's the bummer. It is the only thing that I'm going to miss is definitely the thing that's not coming back, it is the general excuse, right? Like you know, oh, I haven't worn pants or showered in three days, but coronavirus or I ate a bag of pizza rolls but coronavirus.

Or you know, normally I wouldn't take a shot of tequila at 3:00 p.m. but it's different times, so I'll have four and once the shroud of that excuse is gone, all that's left standing there is like a dirty filthy processed foods filled alcoholic arguing with the cop about you know why can't I be in the 7-11 without pants on? Hypothetically.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Hypothetically.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, you know what's weird, I think like we can return to events, but you can't return to normal. It's like after 9/11 when you saw a low-flying plane, it got you really nervous.

Now, if somebody is coughing next to you, you're like -- get me away. Like how are you going to be in an elevator with someone who's coughing?

MURDOCH: Well, I won't be. I'll bully him. But Greg, this point about things that are going away, I've given this a lot of thought and I have a bunch of things that like -- I'm working --

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you know where the remote is?

MURDOCH: The remote is over there. I'm working. You know what's going away, Greg? Like privacy. I'm working. Privacy and respect, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: It's gone. It's not coming back. I'm working. I'm working.

GUTFELD: Mike --

MURDOCH: Sorry.

GUTFELD: It's okay. Mikey, a handshake is often just a way to kind of get to know somebody like a strong handshake tells you everything and a weak handshake tells you something. I don't know what.

BAKER: Yes.

GUTFELD: You've killed people with your handshakes.

BAKER: No, it does. Yes, I mean, it levels the playing field now, right? You won't be able to tell the strong character from the [bleep].

So, it's actually, you know this is a good -- this unifies the nation in a way, and so look, I don't miss -- I don't miss the handshake. I won't miss a handshake. I've got about a three to six foot you know circle of personal space I like to maintain.

So this is not going to be a problem for me at all.

GUTFELD: Here's my thing, we're going to take a break. Air out your mask.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: No virus can stop a leg drop. A few things that are making their way back, in Florida Governor Ron deSantis declared pro wrestling an essential service, so the WWE can resume its live TV events.

Meanwhile Starbucks, you may have heard of them, announced plans to gradually -- gradually -- reopen using a strategy they call monitor and adapt, which oddly are the same names I gave my pecs, but you know what else might come back? The one thing that probably shouldn't come back -- wet markets.

Yes, according to the great World Health Organization, any wet markets that are allowed to reopen must conform to stringent food and hygiene standards. Great. I'm sure the World Health Organization is going to head on over there and inspect them.

By the way, did you know that a scientific paper predicted that viruses in horseshoe bats along with the practice of eating exotic animals in southern China is quote "a time bomb." That conclusion was from 2007, so great job World Health Organization.

And speaking of things that make no sense --

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: I have no idea what that meant. All right, Tyrus, it's good that pro wrestling is coming back, but how are they -- what do you think?

MURDOCH: You know what, a couple of things real quick. Number one, when you call something an essential business and kind of -- I don't feel that wrestling is necessarily up there with people on the frontline who are changing and saving lives although just like with Major League Baseball that is trying to come back, the NBA is trying to find a way, the NFL and sports entertainment it falls into that same line.

So I think, if they can do it safely, of course, it is a lot less numbers in terms of who is competing at one time, so you can control that. Obviously they have to have quite a few tests so there might be some issues with why the WWE have so many tests and you know that whole testing argument, I'm not going to go into.

But I think it's good for society to have something to watch and if it can be done safely, I'm all for it.

GUTFELD: All right, you know, Kat, the thing that's weird, I need to get out of my house because every time I have a headache, I think I have the virus. Every time I have a kink in my neck, I have a virus and I can't get this out of my head.

So, in a way we need to bring back things to fill up our brain so we stop thinking about the virus.

TIMPF: Yes, and again the situation is so much different all around the country, so I think it's great for places where things can start to open to open, not just for those people, but like you said, because if they're conducting business in one area of the country, it helps the economy of the whole country. It gives us some other things to talk about.

I mean, personally I don't think I'm going to -- I mean, I'm in New York City right by a hospital, so I'm like in the heart of Wuhan right now where I live. I don't think I'm going to be able to leave my apartment anytime soon.

But I really hate seeing people writing things off, concerns about opening things, concerns about the economy. The only people that write that off is being not compassionate are the people who are so rich and they're the elite of society that never need to worry about it.

GUTFELD: Mike, are you confident that the World Health Organization are really going to clamp down on the wet markets like they did after the SARS outbreak?

BAKER: Well, you know I am one of the world's renowned experts on wet markets, so I'll just weigh in on this.

GUTFELD: You probably have one.

TIMPF: Right by him.

BAKER: I do.

TIMPF: That's the other room of that little hut.

BAKER: I don't have much to say about wet markets, but you know what I do have a lot to say about, would you look at that.

GUTFELD: Oh, your new show.

BAKER: Too much? Is it too much? Oh, yes, yes, I'm sorry. I don't -- yes, I don't know how that got there.

GUTFELD: What network is that on, Mike?

BAKER: It's on the Science Channel, a Discovery Network and it's on Thursdays, 10:00 p.m. and if people are looking for something to take their minds off of the current pandemic and public health crisis they're feeling angsty and instead of picking up that number and dialing, just watch the show.

TIMPF: So shameless I respect it.

GUTFELD: Me, too. I love it how he snuck that in.

TIMPF: I love it.

GUTFELD: All right, Tom, what are you excited to have come back?

SHILLUE: I think Starbucks is going to be up. I was in a coffee shop today, not a Starbucks, it was just a mom-and-pop shop but everyone behaved very well.

Everyone is using hand sanitizer. I was in a Lowe's Home Improvement today. The staff was great. They all had masks. Everyone is doing hand sanitization.

Employees are behaving like emergency room doctors and I think everyone across the country is going to be able to handle this.

We're in New York. It's like the epicenter and I think everyone is behaving well and I think we can already get back to work.

GUTFELD: New York is the epicenter making Kat the epilady.

TIMPF: I don't get it.

GUTFELD: It's just a terrible joke, but you're right, and by the way we have to learn -- we have to learn from the supermarkets and all the people that are doing the right measures and working. We have to get information from them.

One last break. Go ahead, wash something.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to Mike Baker, Tom Shillue, Kat Timpf, Tyrus.

I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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