This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 21, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Emily Compagno, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld. We're already laughing. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”

2020 Democratic candidates continuing to make headlines for all the wrong reasons by going to extremes to impress voters. Here's the latest example from Kirsten Gillibrand.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(INAUDIBLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: She's now getting mocked for posting that video pumping iron. Gillibrand is also sporting a just trying to get some ranch t-shirt, it's a reference to a now viral moment from one of her recent campaign stops. She'll probably remember that one.

And Beto O'Rourke is getting backlash for hopping on top of restaurant and coffee shop counters but not everyone is amused. One cafe owner saying, quote, it seems like a photo op that wasn't necessary. His feet are right by the cups. And another barista is saying, quote, yes, we make sure the counter was clean. This time we used bleach because his feet were on it.

And Joe Biden who was yet to announce is reportedly mulling the idea of choosing Stacey Abrams as his running mate right out of the gate. Greg, I go to you.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: What?

PERINO: There was one fatal flaw. Kirsten Gillibrand's tweet about -- with the video, the workout video --

GUTFELD: What was it?

PERINO: -- you know what it is?

GUTFELD: No, what is it?

PERINO: So the tweet said here I am doing my work out. It said, do you like my t-shirt?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: You don't need that part because -- like that should have been -- like, oh, ha, ha, ha. That's how you get it to go viral. Do you see my point?

GUTFELD: Yes. By the way, that's not how you do squats.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Anyway, here's the problem -- here's the problem with these politicians. They have lived in an entire persona that has to be perfect, that has to have this veneer where there's nothing wrong, which means they have to rediscover what it's like to be human because they've been so phony for so long. The political world demands that you're phony all the time. Even your sincerity is fake.

So they have to somehow create a human facade so right now you've got a candidate working out. You've got one going to the dentist, one drinking a beer. And then there's one attempting to have a normal relationship, you know, finally. It's like a child pretending to be an adult. And this is - - I think this is the edge that Trump has over them and that he doesn't -- he wasn't a politician.

PERINO: He already has a stick.

GUTFELD: Yeah, yeah. He annoys. He's always been him for 71 years. He doesn't have to be anyone else. Whether it grosses you out or not, even his fibs are real. So if you look at a politician they look you right in the eye and they lie to you, and then -- but Trump looks you in the eye and then he winks. So you know -- you know that he's just playing a game. It's a salesman lie. He's just real and they're not.

PERINO: I don't know if everyone would agree with the salesman part. But he did have a chance to be on The Apprentice for several years, so he -- like, so many people knew him. These people are not known, Jesse, right? There's no name I.D. And so they're trying to find a way to like break out and find some sort of creative way to be different.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: It's not working. It reeks of desperation. You can't manufacture a movement. You either have game or you don't have game. Kirsten Gillibrand or however you say her name.

GUTFELD: Gillibrand.

WATTERS: She has now announced for president twice and no one has noticed. And so now she's trying to get eyeballs with the dumbbells and it just -- did you see the guns, though?

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: Yeah.

WATTERS: And I thought she was for gun control, Gutfeld. Look at those things. Those things look pretty big. The ranch thing, she was most famous for a moment when someone was ignoring her.

PERINO: Yeah.

WATTERS: That's basically the point with Gillibrand. I predict she'll be the first one to drop out of the race. She reminds me of a wafer. You know, you put it in your mouth, it's odorless, it's colorless, and then you think to yourself what did I just eat? That's Kirsten Gillibrand. There's no there, there. Gillibrand, sorry.

Beto needs to stop jumping up on the countertops because he's already 6'4". Beto. He's already 6'4" and you don't put the soles of your feet where people eat. It's just disgusting. The other thing is he's got a massive sweating problem that he needs to get taken care of. That can't last for very much longer.

And also, Limbaugh said this today, it's a great line, George Conway is out there diagnosing Donald Trump for being crazy. He should take a look at Beto O'Rourke because he's eating dirt and he's serving his wife poop. That seems crazy to me.

Now the Biden thing I think seems like he's pandering to black America, he looks his insecure, and it looks kind of lazy too. Like he's going to have her go out in the campaign trail for two years --

PERINO: This is Stacey Abram --

WATTERS: Having Stacey Abrams be his V.P. at a time. Plus, who says Stacy Abrams is going to say yes? She's probably on the short-list for a bunch of --

PERINO: They have a meeting yesterday.

WATTERS: Well, maybe. And it just seems like a fake trial balloon. I'm not really sure. I buy it. Plus, I love the V.P. sweepstakes.

PERINO: Yeah.

WATTERS: You know, where they jockey for position.

PERINO: Yeah. What are we going to do for 14 months?

WATTERS: The unveiling. You're missing all that earned media when you pick someone already.

PERINO: That's true. All right. So got a lot of content in there, Jesse.

WATTERS: Hey, I'm a content guy.

PERINO: All right, Juan, which of these would you like to take first?

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, the problem I have with this is the premise because it seems to me that the way you campaigned in 2019 is not the way you campaign in 2016, much the way you campaign in -- let's say 1976. So, for a younger crowd versus an older, mostly white, even somewhat retired crowd that you can reach through cable, or the New York Times, the crowd that the Democrats are after is a younger crowd and you've got to reach them in innovative ways through social media, through radio programs, and I bet a lot of folks who are Trump supporter's wouldn't even know.

You've got to get out there and hold rallies and do things that will break through for younger Americans --

GUTFELD: But when you try, it looks bad.

WILLIAMS: No, I don't think -- it might look bad to some people, Greg. But to other people it's like, hey, I didn't even know about her. Hey -- and what did Jesse say? Hey, she looks great. Forget the message.

WATTERS: She looks ripped.

PERINO: And you might remember that.

WILLIAMS: Yeah. And so, I think, that when you start to look at her you think about music, you think about the gym, you think about fashion, podcast, coffee shops. This is popular culture meets politics. And I think a lot of older people are just put off by it. But believe me, this is the future.

GUTFELD: But aren't younger people just as skeptical when they see that somebody is actually pandering?

WILLIAMS: No. If it's pandering -- but it's not pandering to go on a radio show that reaches to, let's say, a morning black young audience or to go to a gym. I mean, in fact, I think you and I both go to gyms. That would be a way to reach the two of us.

GUTFELD: Sometimes.

PERINO: Let's get Emily in here. Your thoughts about being, you know, trying to break out of the crowd.

EMILY COMPAGNO, HOST: Yeah. I think that authenticity speaks for itself. And so, which is what you guys are leading to that we can spot a faker. And I don't think that you can force or fake or create your own viral moment because this is a formula that worked before.

And I think that what some of these guys are missing is that if they're just themselves, it's either going to work or it's not. But trying to be charming or trying to be awesome or trying to cater to millennials in a certain way in that way trying to create these different moments, in my opinion, let them fall over themselves doing it because they're going to drop like flies.

And I think -- I do feel respectfully that you're a little bit conflating point which is it's good to harness different mediums of communication to younger voters. Like, yeah, totally. Go to the gym. But you don't have to then tweet out something that's so fake and contrived --

PERINO: But that was my point that she didn't need to say that in the tweet about the t-shirt, that should spoke for itself.

WILLIAMS: The t-shirt should have been self-evident.

PERINO: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But then when Trump goes down the gold escalator, right --

PERINO: How did we get to that?

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: We knew he was a rich guy --

WATTERS: Right.

WILLIAMS: -- but he comes down on a gold escalator and then he goes after the Mexicans --

PERINO: OK. Timeout on that.

WATTERS: To Emily's point though, when you're talking about manufacturing this, it seems corny because this is consultant-driven when you have someone -- it's almost like, you know, you go to a laboratory for viral videos and you just try to like cook up something in the gym, and it doesn't look real to people. And the whole Rosario Dawson-Cory Booker thing it's like he unveils and confirms his relationship to a star who's also an activist --

GUTFELD: Maybe they're going to get married -- they're going to get married on the White House.

WATTERS: At the White House. It seems a little contrived.

PERINO: I want to ask you -- can I ask one last question, Greg? But, remember --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- when President Obama went on between two firms --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- to talk about Obamacare and there was like rolling of the eyes and -- and they've had like -- you know, he was out there. It reached a lot of people. Who knows? I just feel like --

GUTFELD: But they indulged him because they liked him.

PERINO: Well, true.

GUTFELD: Right now when you're looking at this field, it's like Ocean's Eleven without Clooney. You know, it's like a Love Boat circa '79 with a bunch of recognizable mainly bit players.

PERINO: They're trying to have a pop.

GUTFELD: Yeah, there's -- Biden is the biggest name, but Biden is like, you know, hey, I'm an old white male but look at my date. So that even looks --

PERINO: But can I ask you one other thing which is that two of the very most unknown are Andrew Yang --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- and Pete Buttigieg of Indiana.

WATTERS: It's booty judge.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: They went on the Joe Rogan podcast.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: And that's how they were able to get going. So it wasn't a manufactured viral moment. That was like a different type of way to campaign.

GUTFELD: You go on Rogan, it's a risk because he has you there for three hours and you might get high.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: Yeah. But the point is there's a podcast. And again, this is innovative type of reaching out to people versus conservatives listening to afternoon talk radio.

GUTFELD: Not true, Juan.

PERINO: I like --

GUTFELD: The overwhelming -- I mean, the overwhelming fan base for a lot of these podcasts, including Rogan, are conservatives and libertarians.

WILLIAMS: No, I'm telling you right now it is a rage among the liberal -- among the left.

GUTFELD: Yeah, just bad podcast.

PERINO: Yeah, we have the best podcast. OK, we're going to move on. Major strides in the fight against ISIS, yes. New details on the crumbling caliphate when we return.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: I remember like it was yesterday because it was.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: So what happens is this is all ISIS, now on the bottom, that, as of today, this is ISIS. There's none. The caliphate is gone as of tonight.

(APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: Very good. That's pretty good, right?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Pretty good. That's pretty good, right? Apparently it is. No one likes to say mission accomplished. But Fox News has learned that the last ISIS stronghold has been liberated, the repugnant empire that once terrorized over 8 million people is left with 800 yards of turf for now.

Now I'm old enough to know that with terrorism, nothing is really ever over. Al-Qaeda attacked us. We destroy them. Then ISIS popped up. We've finally destroy them. Now Al-Qaeda seems to be resurfacing. In time I'm sure there will be something worse than both. Marrying technology to terror, creating a spectacle of horror that will remind us how evil, evil can be.

As for Trump, may be the guy deserves some credit. He said he was going to do it. And for now it looks like he kind of did. And you can get angry about all the mean stuff he says, but all you're going to be is angry. When you should take a moment and remember five years ago when every week there was a new video of a terrified person in an orange jumpsuit about to die. Those were bad, bad times.

They've stopped partly because an orange billionaire tried to fulfill a promise. Yeah, he says mean things at the wrong time, but if stopping terror means putting a guy in charge who doesn't care who he offends, sign me up. I've said it before. Trump is a two hour drive for one hour at the beach.

You get to the beach and it's great, but you've got to put up with the drive. This news on ISIS is that day at the beach that made the drive worthwhile.

All right, Dana, we know, mission accomplished, not a good thing to say. You should be spiking the ball. In this case --

PERINO: This is -- but we should take a moment to celebrate --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- this because think about -- you had it in your monologue, eight million people --

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: -- eight million people had to live under this. It was allowed to grow. It was allowed to fester. It was not stopped when it should have been. And remember, every single week we've had on this show -- all of the news was covering the fact that these hostages were about to be beheaded live on -- don't watch the videos, folks. Like don't do it. And they were not J.V.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: OK. They turned out to be this horrible, horrible monster. And we had help. We had coalition partners. It was like the good guys can get together, but it wasn't until President Trump said we're changing the rules of engagement -- though President Obama did a little bit too.

But President Trump as he does, stepped on the gas. So now you have this. You're also correct that ISIS lives online. And so marrying that terror to technologies that we have, that is a problem. But this is a real moment and we should help to make sure, and I guess that we are going to stay there to make sure it doesn't grow again.

GUTFELD: I mean, Juan, that's why -- I think you can hold these ideas in your head that you should be thankful that this is happening. But know that in time it will come back. It always does.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, I mean -- so I wanted to give credit to President Trump because I think that's right, he puts his foot on the accelerator. The key thing though is I think you have to understand they're going to exist as a terror network --

GUTFELD: Right.

WILLIAMS: -- and it's not just a matter of land. It's not a matter of them occupying land. So it's like you're fighting war on old terms, which is, you know, I pushed you off at this piece of land so you're beaten. I'm not sure. Remember, we've got, I think, 20,000 ISIS-type people in jail in Iraq, and another 20,000 under our control in Syria. Those people are going -- we have to deal with them.

Already we're pushing the Europeans to take some of them back or deal with it. We don't know how we're going to deal with them. So, for me when you listen to this, and President Trump has been saying that we have defeated ISIS for a month -- for months now, but you get U.S. central command today saying fighting continues. The Pentagon says no comments. John Bolton says ISIS remains a threat.

Mike Pompeo says the threat from radical Islam remains. So that's why -- even if I say let's give credit, Trump really has push these guys. I just don't think the threat is over.

GUTFELD: I agree completely with you, Juan. And it's hard for me to say that.

WILLIAMS: I know. I know. It's OK.

GUTFELD: OK. Jesse, here's something that is interesting to me and I haven't heard anybody really talk about it, but I know with your brain you might know the answer. We have seen almost no footage of what's going on. We saw footage of the Persian Gulf War. We saw footage of Iraq. We saw people surrendering.

We have seen nothing. Is it because whatever we're doing is like experimental or advanced and we're not showing it? Because it's like all drones or it's something so -- like we're not -- like isn't it weird that we're not seeing anything?

WATTERS: Well, there's two things. One, I don't think there is a lot of mainstream media interest in sending embedded teams to the ground in Syria under Donald Trump.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WATTERS: And not a lot of interest either under Barack Obama. Plus, a lot of the strategy was through the air, so that's not as easy to embed upon. And then -- and finally, I just think they were doing some tough stuff.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

WATTERS: Let's put it that way. But, I mean, if we did have a football, I'd spike it. I'd spike it right here at the table because I think in times like this, you have to take a moment, as Dana said, to step back and thanked people. Thank Donald Trump for having a strategy which was about defeating ISIS instead of containing ISIS --

PERINO: Also because they think we're weak --

WATTERS: That's true.

PERINO: -- right? And you've got to tell terrorists like, oh, no --

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: -- we're not week.

WATTERS: Yes. And, you know, we obliterated them and that's a good thing. And General Mattis deserves a lot of credit. And so does the Kurds, our partners. And so does the British and the French as well.

And like you said, we do have to win the peace because what happened under Barack Obama is that he retreated from Iraq and did not win the peace there when he pulled out all the troops and then ISIS rose up. He underestimated them, called them J.V. And then didn't really have a strategy. He just dillydallied.

But, at this point, I just wish the media would give Donald Trump credit, not try to spin it or couch it because this is a moment Democrats and Republicans can say we have now defeated evil in that part of the world where they had land the size of Great Britain --

PERINO: Yeah.

WATTERS: -- and now it's gone.

GUTFELD: Emily, thoughts on this.

COMPAGNO: Absolutely we should celebrate and savor any victory along with gratitude for everyone, especially those men and women in service, 100 percent. We have known I think for decades that just pushing back or mowing the lawn, as my friends in the military say, or even defeating an organized control of those groups doesn't work in the long term. So kind of just speak to your point about, yes, there's also a road ahead.

I think with those -- with those groups also it doesn't address the international community of support and the spreading of ideas, especially in the recent hyper local focus that these groups have taken. So moving forward, how do we exit this war and without falling into nation-building, while at the same time making sure that there's no resurrection of them. That would require a specific detailed plan that I think we haven't heard yet.

I look forward to hearing that from our military leaders. I like that our president gives them latitude. I look forward to hearing that. And I think, potentially, the hard part might be ahead of us. But 100 percent in this moment, I have only gratitude and celebration.

WILLIAMS: You know the fact is, I mean, this is what Jesse saying back, you know, Obama, he says, pulled back early. What do we see from Trump? Oh, I'm going to get us out of Syria. Oh, no, I'm leaving thousands there here and thousands in the south. I mean --

WATTERS: You have to keep some footprint.

WILLIAMS: Oh, no. I think we've got to keep our foot on ISIS.

PERINO: All right.

GUTFELD: All right.

PERINO: Do it.

GUTFELD: Up next, President Trump hitting back against liberals trying to silence free speech on campus.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: President Trump fighting back against liberal efforts to stifle free speech on college campuses. He's now challenging the snowflake mentality by threatening to withhold federal funds from universities that don't respect the first amendment.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: We're here to take historic action to defend American students and American values. They've been under siege. Under the guise of speech codes and safe spaces and trigger warnings, these universities have tried to restrict free thought, impose total conformity, and shut down the voices of great young Americans like those here today. If a college or university doesn't allow you to speak, we will not give them money.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right. So, Greg, we know -- we've seen this happen before at Berkeley, especially.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Alma matter. Would you like to apologize for them?

GUTFELD: We would -- Berkeley was the home of the free speech movement and then it went pretty bit over. I think this is a great move because if you come out against this -- oh, so you're against free speech, what's your problem? Don't you think it's under threat? It's a nice for him to do.

And I think the problem of what we're seeing on campuses now, it's no longer about countering ideas but silencing them. And they silence them by saying they your words are hurtful. Therefore, they're hateful. Therefore, they shouldn't be here. The right isn't accusing the left of this. The left is proudly saying this is their plan.

Jordan Peterson predicted this stuff. Right now there's a woman in England who's being investigated -- investigated by authorities for misgendering, all right? Using the wrong pronoun for a transgender daughter of a parent. This is beyond Orwellian. You can go to jail for using the wrong pronoun.

Jordan Peterson said this would happen and he's been disinvited from a college -- what college is it? Cambridge University has rescinded his offer because he predicted --

PERINO: Cambridge?

GUTFELD: Yeah, Cambridge. This stuff is happening.

WATTERS: Yes, it's Jordan Peterson. It's Charlie Kirk at TPUSA. And Ben Shapiro. You know --

PERINO: Ben Shapiro.

WATTERS: -- call Ben Shapiro, he's like the biggest threat to the civilization you've ever seen. People run away from him. There's cops being called. It's crazy.

PERINO: I know. I know. What's interesting is that the president in doing this E.O. has flipped the script on the speech police, because now he's the speech police but he's the commander-in-chief.

WATTERS: Oh.

PERINO: And he is the protector of our constitution. And what does the first amendment say?

WATTERS: Free speech, assembly, and religion.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: He's the new Mario --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: And what is the leverage that the federal government has? Money.

WATTERS: Funding, yeah.

PERINO: The only thing is the money. You know, if schools don't like this, they cannot take the money --

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: -- and they can exercise their rights that way.

WATTERS: Right. Juan --

WILLIAMS: Let me pick up on this because I think Dana is exactly right about the first amendment. So government is not supposed to be involved in determining what is good speech and bad speech or free speech. In other words, speech, Americans to Americans, it's supposed to be allowed. Now, of course, you don't want hateful vitriol kind of people coming on campus and spewing white nationalist hatred.

GUTFELD: But the people defining it, Juan, are not defining in that way. They're saying like Jordan Peterson and --

PERINO: Ben Shapiro.

WILLIAMS: I don't know what the particulars, Greg, of any one of those gentlemen. But what I'm saying is if you're making hateful type of speech that creates hostility, you can understand why an academic saying the treasures free speech would say we don't want that.

But what is Trump doing this? So Trump is going to be the arbiter of what is good speech? Does that mean you have the same amount of liberals and the same amount of conservatives?

WATTERS: All speech, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, then, I don't understand it. He shouldn't be involved. That's the government. He is the government.

WATTERS: OK. But the reason he's getting involved is they play games, Emily. What they do is that when a conservative speaker is invited, they throw up all these roadblocks and they say, well you have to pay an extra $40,000 for security and you can only speak at this particular building, at this particular time. And sometimes, they won't even let you speak because they're too divisive, not even offensive, divisive.

WILLIAMS: That's a conservative speaker. No, that's a hateful speaker.

WATTERS: Yes. No, Juan, Ben Shapiro...

GUTFELD: I'm a hateful speaker, Juan.

WATTERS: Was included from Grand Canyon University.

WILLIAMS: All right. Go ahead.

WATTERS: For being divisive to the community.

COMPAGNO: It happened to Katie Pavlich too.

WATTERS: Go ahead.

COMPAGNO: Yes. And part of it what breaks my heart so much is, I was President of the Federalist Society in law school in San Francisco over 15 years ago. And we there were dedicated to bringing both sides of the debate. I'm from there. It is hideous to see what has been a complete devolution of the prior commitment to free speech, because that's not what's happening. And it's not hate speech that is being censored. It is absolutely simply the full spectrum.

I do want to say too that the Obama administration put out a broader effort of doing the same thing which was getting data transparency from these programs and these schools at the whatever of the federal funding, basically at the risk of federal funding. And as always, it's only about the money to these universities.

It's not even about the free speech, because University of California is $15 billion behind their pension liabilities that they owe. They every year spend $4 million of tuition for just the top 10 pensioners. And frankly, tuition, our students bailing out a totally broken fiscal system and I could go on forever about that data, but the bottom-line is that the pension system there has straight jacketed everything.

So, all of this has to do simply with funding and covering that fiscal crisis.

WILLIAMS: So, my fear Emily...

COMPAGNO: It's not speech.

WILLIAMS: My fear is that then if I'm the President of the university and I say, well, we don't want to lose that federal funding. We just won't have speakers. We just cut back on this. We'll have the safest, stupidest, most vanilla speakers.

GUTFELD: They're doing it now.

COMPAGNO: Exactly. The campus spent...

WATTERS: All right. Juan. You're totally misconstruing the issue. People are protesting Greg Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: I wish.

WATTERS: Not Anybody that threatening. I mean his materials are a little edgy.

GUTFELD: My family protests me.

COMPAGNO: They spent $4 million on security for that and...

WILLIAMS: Right. Well, that's what I was going to say. We don't want the expense and even Betsy DeVos says, government muscle should not be involved with free speech.

GUTFELD: There's no muscle.

WATTERS: There's no muscle.

WILLIAMS: Oh! What did he today?

WATTERS: It's a little quickness.

WILLIAMS: Oh! OK.

WATTERS: A little jab step. Kellyanne Conway slamming her husband's attacks on President Trump. The saga continues. Next on “The Five.”

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: If you thought the Twitter feud between President Trump and Kellyanne Conway's husband was going away anytime soon, think again. George Conway retweeting all kinds of new attacks against the President today, including suggesting that Trump is mentally unstable. This comes as Kellyanne Conway is once again siding with her boss over her husband.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KELLYANNE CONWAY, COUNSELOR TO THE PRESIDENT: My husband also has been very critical of the President publicly, which is unlike him just because he's traditionally been a very private person. In 2016, which was known as the year of the tweet. George Conway sent exactly zero tweets. So, this is new and what also is new is not supporting the agenda of the President and my work there. I was raised in a household of strong Italian Catholic women who taught me that you air grievances like that in private. So, it is very surprising to see it be so public.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: So, this is so interesting to me, because I mean it's like an - we should start a show. I think you said this yesterday called The Conway's or something, it's unbelievable. But if it's real. What Kellyanne said to Maria Bartiromo was she's never really addressed this with her husband. They've only talked about it in passing.

Meanwhile, George Conway says, oh! he gets the tweeting out, so he doesn't have to scream at his wife. What do you make of this?

COMPAGNO: Well in my notes for this block as you can see, I literally just drew what is a dumpster fire. I think it would probably be best for if someone doesn't want a topic to be covered that they just refrain from speaking about it. I think the more content put out by all three of those parties is unfortunate and it's distracting from larger issues at hand and also their credibility.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, he says some really strong things about the President, you know whack job and he's a narcissist, anti-social. He puts out all kinds of psychiatric diagnoses for people to read about the President. And I don't - I just wonder you know how does this impact people who are Trump fans. What do they think of it?

WATTERS: Well, he should look in the mirror. I mean talk about psychologically imbalanced. I don't know what this guy's up to. I like your new hand movements. This was very good (ph). This was a new one, I've never seen before.

GUTFELD: I think called milking the goat.

WATTERS: OK. But like Emily, I just don't have a lot to say about their marriage. It's a private matter and now it's spilled out to the public and it looks humiliating for everybody involved. But I would say, Kellyanne Conway is handling it gracefully. She's a very intelligent woman, a very passionate woman for the President and I hate to see her embarrassed by this.

It looks like George might have Trump Derangement Syndrome and maybe he's angling for a CNN contributor ship. I don't know what's going on. I kind of don't want to know what's going on.

COMPAGNO: Right.

WATTERS: And I hope we could all move on.

COMPAGNO: Right.

WILLIAMS: So, Dana as this is taking place, the President's feud with the Republican Party seems over John McCain continues and it's almost like people are saying, well you know what we don't like that...

PERINO: I think the President's feud is with John McCain and there have been - I don't think that other people, the Republican Party are not feuding with the President about that. Some of them like Congressman Dan Crenshaw are saying, please just stop it. Like he's not your political enemy. Like...

WILLIAMS: He's there.

PERINO: Like move on. On the Conway stuff, one thing I think about this is I agree, I kind of - I wish we didn't know. But here's the thing, George Conway wants us to notice. He's poking the bear. And I don't understand to what desired outcome. So, what do you want to happen like you're not the first to say the President has narcissistic personality disorder? What do you think you're going to accomplish that you're going to be able to do that nobody else is able to do by saying the same thing? Like what do you want. Do you want to make life harder for your wife at the White House? Do you think it doesn't affect her at the White House? Do you want President Trump to be able to paint you as a worse husband than he?

This is an incredible situation that I wish we could just not talk about it.

WILLIAMS: But is she - I think she said he would like her to stop to leave the job.

PERINO: I don't know. I must've missed that.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, Greg, what do you think?

GUTFELD: I disagree with you. I love every minute of it.

PERINO: I know you do.

GUTFELD: I want it to keep going. You know it's interesting, we always talk about this being like a reality show. He's actually - Trump has been able to combine a whole bunch of different shows, because it's like a soap opera with a lot of subplots. You know it's like a fairly Brothers version of Falcon Crest. First Trump is basically J.R. Ewing (ph) right. But then Pence, he's Ned Flanders, right. He's Ned Flanders. Bolton is obviously Matlock. And then Kelly and her husband, they could be kind of like the Furley from Three's Company. But he's more like Newman. And of course, Brian Stelter is Costanza, always complaining about the better-looking people over at Fox News. And I understand that.

But the thing is, the real development here is that we are talking about it. This was going on for a while. So, it's kind of moving towards a resolution. And I'm dying to - I can't wait to see what it is. How this is going to end. This is - it is like who shot J.R. We'll get it to a climax.

WATTERS: I can't wait for the finale.

GUTFELD: I can't wait for the finale. Honestly. Do we need more of? these?

PERINO: Maybe at the finale, we'll all wake up and find out it was a dream.

GUTFELD: It was a dream, we're all in the shower.

WILLIAMS: That's Dallas.

GUTFELD: That's a terrible dream.

WILLIAMS: Husband from hell though. I don't know who gets that title. Up next, a brand-new development in a college admissions scandal. We're now hearing from Lori Loughlin's daughter. What is she saying now about her own parents? Next on “The Five.”

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COMPAGNO: Yet another new twist in the college admissions scandal. Lori Loughlin's daughter, Olivia Jade is reportedly furious with her parents and thinks they ruined her career. She has since been dropped by major brands including Sephora and TRESemme. And according to sources, she didn't even want to go to college. But her parents forced her to. Instead she just wanted to continue her path as a social media influencer. And amidst all of these developments, there's apparently a new term for this type of parent. They're being dubbed snowplow parents because they try to clear obstacles out of the way of their kids even as adults.

OK. So, Dana, apparently you have a theory.

PERINO: I just have a theory that this is all a plan like they had a family meeting and they said, OK, you should go out and say that you're really mad that you never really wanted to go to college. And then when the dust blows over, when it all gets sort of resolved, they are going to have a reality show. And it's going to be something where they get a lot of money to talk about, they're like dysfunctional family and how rich they are and how they didn't really want to go to college.

I just think there is going to be a show.

COMPAGNO: You know it's interesting about that though is given the trouble the parents are in, there will be such a disgorgement of funds and finances and wage garnishment from the feds, if this continues down that line then whatever money they make from that.

PERINO: Maybe they'll be paid and make up some stuff like that.

GUTFELD: Wait. Is disgorgement a word. I've never heard that word. Disgorgement.

COMPAGNO: Yes. You're welcome.

GUTFELD: OK.

COMPAGNO: All right.

GUTFELD: Thank you. I learned a word, disgorgement.

PERINO: Don't panic.

COMPAGNO: Jesse, what would you do if one of your girls or both of your girls came home and they were like, Dad we just want to be social media influencers, we don't want to go to college. What would you say?

WATTERS: I'll change the will. I'd change it right there and then. And that's what this younger girl is running up against. If you try to emancipate yourself or try to bad mouth your mom and dad in the press that will gets changed like in a heartbeat. So, I'd be very careful because she's going to be in the poor house if she disrespects her parents like that.

My parents were the opposite of snowplow parents. I talked about the other day, how they made me do these outdoor wilderness adventure survival schools. I had to sleep in lightning storms. We carried a kid out in a stretcher made from tree branches because he shattered his knee. I mean I went through so much hell and heartbreak in these wilderness adventure survival schools. They put me on a solo. They gave me three matches and said, I'll see you in three days. And I had to survive by myself. I had severe sunburn.

We had ice picks that we'd climb up on the mountain with. We had a 10-mile fun run at the end of the trip. It was horrible.

COMPAGNO: I feel like you're basically saying, Boy Scouts was hell.

WATTERS: No, it was Boy Scouts on steroids.

COMPAGNO: They've got sunburn and then they get a blister.

WATTERS: No, it was a lot more than that. How dare you disrespect my summers.

COMPAGNO: OK, Greg I'm sure you felt strongly.

GUTFELD: Well, OK. So, I'm not sure if this story is true because it begins with sources say, but if true two greatest words in journalism history. The daughter is absolutely right in this. She figured out that she didn't need college and she looked around and she saw that she could pursue a career in social media. If this was my kid, I would have been so grateful that I don't have to pay a $100,000 a year and that this kid is already making a living off other dumb kids on social media. I mean I think that - I think she's absolutely right that she had the right way and her parents were forcing an old idea on her, but she knew better, she knew - I'm not, maybe I don't need college, maybe I'm not smart enough to do college. Maybe I could just fleece people on Instagram and become super rich.

And then I'm like I'm thinking like I want to have a kid like that.

WATTERS: You want your kid to fleece people.

GUTFELD: Yes. Fleece.

COMPAGNO: Your kids, they're so accomplished. Do you feel - I mean are you...

GUTFELD: They're Republicans you mean.

COMPAGNO: Do you Agree a little bit with what Greg saying or do you feel like you know a degree is valuable no matter what and that should always be...

WILLIAMS: I think I love education. I think it teaches critical thinking, it teaches you how to debate, teaches you we're talking about, speech in the previous segment I think you should hear people have different opinions and different experience. I just think that's the world we live in and it's good for you. But I will say in this case, I think these are like candy cane kids, they're melting in the rain and I think they are spoiled rich kids to no end and their parents. The parents had their own reason for wanting to get into college, which I think is status.

WATTERS: Right.

WILLIAMS: But even if the kid, let's say you said you know kid, I want you to go to college because I believe in college. Why weren't they satisfied relating the kid go to a college that the kid actually could merit, earn admission to. Apparently, that wasn't good enough for them because of the social status on Hollywood or whatever. To me this is a corruption of values and morals. I just don't approve of it. So, I don't think the kid is right. I think the kid is vacuous and self-serving and I don't like it.

GUTFELD: but she knows that. That's what's great.

COMPAGNO: Like self-preparedness.

GUTFELD: She knows she's vacuous.

COMPAGNO: But don't you want to cure that. When you were a kid.

GUTFELD: No.

WATTERS: We want the fleece people on Instagram.

WILLIAMS: All right.

COMPAGNO: All right, guys. One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Time now for One More Thing, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, the tears and - I should say tears and cheers didn't stop last night in Tokyo. Ichiro Suzuki is still the biggest star in Japan at age 45 played his last game as the Seattle Mariners defeated the Oakland Athletics five to four. Watch this. As Ichiro is pulled from the game in the eighth inning.

After the game ended, the fans stayed to cheer Ichiro as he circled the field for more than an hour signing autographs, waving away and between us, put a call into Cooperstown folks. Ichiro is going to be a first round Hall of Famer. 10-time All-Star ALMVP, one of four players with 3000 hits, 10 Gold Gloves for his defense. He's also one of seven players with 3000 hits and 500 stolen bases. Fair to say, Tokyo or New York. He's a legend. What a career. I should also say, Seattle.

PERINO: And Seattle. Wow, that's a great story. What accomplishments.

WILLIAMS: Yes.

PERINO: We like to bring those to you.

GUTFELD: You know nobody is talking about.

PERINO: I watched the segment. Actually, I didn't know who he is because I read The New York Post. OK. Meet Chance Call. He's from Utah. He's a teen and he's working on his Eagle Scout project to build 150 dog beds for his local animal shelter. So, he's always had a soft spot in his heart for animals and that made picking his Eagle Scout project an easy one. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHANCE CALL, RESIDENT, UTAH: I would always watch TV and see like those ads like oh! you can adopt the pet and make their life better. I want to do that on a bigger scale and help the animals that can't get adopted.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: And he did that. I think he raised more than $3500 in donations and he purchased like PVC pipe and fabric for the beds and now all these dogs are going to have that. He plans to deliver them by April 1st and that's no fools for you. Also, Happy birthday to my sister Angie Perino.

WATTERS: Happy Birthday Angie.

PERINO: She's a big space fan, so I chose the NASA picture.

WATTERS: Maybe she can be in the space force.

PERINO: Yes, maybe so. All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: All right. So, Dunkin Donuts has teamed up with the shoe company Saucony to create probably the best shoes ever for the Boston Marathon. You know America runs on Dunkin, get it. Look at these Dunkin Donuts shoes right here. They got the colors. They got the coffee cup on the tongue. Boston is holding a...

WILLIAMS: Hold your fleet.

WATTERS: How about that, right there. They're called Kinvara 10.

WILLIAMS: And they make your feet smell like donuts.

WATTERS: That's right. Which smells really good. And they have some donuts right here. So, you get at saucony.com and buy them for - they're only $120, 65 for kids and Boston Marathon is on the 15th next month. So, America runs on Dunkin. Check it out.

PERINO: Those donuts smell delicious. Greg, you're next.

GUTFELD: Those your donuts.

PERINO: I'd rather have donuts. Thank you. Go ahead.

GUTFELD: All right let's do this. Animals are great. Soon to be a TV show in my dreams anyway. Check out this dog. His name's Norman. He likes to keep fit by mastering or attempting to master the hula hoop. Although as you can tell Norman really doesn't understand how a hula hoop works. But it's still fun to watch him stumble around over and over again, getting very dizzy.

PERINO: He might be left-handed.

GUTFELD: That could be true.

PERINO: Because he always turns to the left.

GUTFELD: You are a bigot. And that's why, Animals are great. She hates left-handed people.

PERINO: No, I don't. Emily, you're next.

GUTFELD: You do, we talked about it all the time.

COMPAGNO: All right, you guys we need your help to catch this dog napper. This brazen dog thief literally stole this whole little Yorkshire terrier off this family's porch. Her name is Coco and she was last seen in his arms outside of a convenience store in Reseda, California. So, if anyone in that area of the San Fernando Valley has seen Coco or this perp, contact the authorities ASAP and I just want to say, I'm always terrified when I leave Duchess outside of a store that someone will take out.

GUTFELD: Duchess.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: That's your dog's name?

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: OK.

COMPAGNO: Then I know that she's 100-pound Dobermann. So, just go ahead and try it.

GUTFELD: You have a Dobermann named Duchess.

PERINO: I kind of named jasper, he would be dog napped in a second.

COMPAGNO: In a second.

WATTERS: Speaking of dogs, we might have a special treat tomorrow.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Oh! what are we eating?

WILLIAMS: Wrong.

PERINO: Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” “Special Report” is up next.

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