How will history view the impeachment and acquittal of President Trump?

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How will history view the impeachment and acquittal of President Trump?

Rep. Adam Schiff says Senate acquittal is not 'vindication' for President Trump; reaction on 'The Greg Gutfeld Show.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," February 8, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: They have something going on in Iowa, that's sad actually -- it's embarrassing.

Although I'm not overly embarrassed by it.

[LAUGHTER]

TRUMP: I see these shows and there's one of them saying, oh, this is a disaster. Trump is going to kill us on this one.

They're right.

[LAUGHTER]

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I can argue with him.

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: All righty now, it is time for --

ANNOUNCER: The best show of your life -- ever.

GUTFELD: You want a victory lap? You've got one. Seriously, this was the best week ever. You had everything.

Trump crushes impeachment. Nancy throws a fit. The Democrats implode.

All that's missing is an invasion of space creatures that tastes just like Cinnabons, but look like Ryan Seacrest.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: It's beautiful. As impeachaholics self-destruct, Trump keeps going. He doesn't have the wind at his back. He's got a Category Five Hurricane, a million Eric Swalwells all farting at the same time.

[LAUGHTER]

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ERIC SWALWELL (D-CA): The President used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help them cheat an election.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Only we would do that, but it's like a second Christmas minus Gramps killing that drifter which we had to bury in the woods. But that's another story.

And you can measure the joy in the misery of those who rooted against you. Look at these winners at the State of the Union.

In the face of so much good news about lots of stuff, they appeared is joyless as a boarded up liquor store. Would it kill them to stand up and applaud once.

No, they're so bitter. They poop grapefruits.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: And there's Nancy ripping up the speech like it was her bar tab.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: It turned out she actually needed it pre-ripped so she could actually pull it off. It makes me wonder who actually cuts up her food.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: But she got the attention she wanted. But so did Trump. I didn't really realize how great this speech was, until I saw her pathetic frustration and all that shuffling -- the shuffling, the shuffling. She's like the world's worst blackjack dealer.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: She was a mess because she knew where this was going.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: We went through hell unfairly. Did nothing wrong. Did nothing wrong. I've done things wrong in my life. I will admit. Not purposely, but I've done things wrong.

But this is what the end result is.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Acquittal. All right. You saw it coming. I saw it coming. But the media and the Dems dense faked it because it fed their base and their bottom line.

Watching them think Trump was going to be impeached is like watching Tom Arnold think he might have a career comeback.

It ain't happening.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: And when it all fell apart, so did they. Then Trump did his presser. It was a doozy. But hey, this is politics.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: This is politics. And we were treated unbelievably unfairly. And you have to understand, we first went through Russia, Russia, Russia. It was all [bleep].

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: I am kind of pissed we have to bleep that. But anyway, he hit everyone, including Steve Scalise. Remember, he got whacked?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: He got whacked. He got whacked. My Steve, right? I went to the hospital with our great First Lady that night, right honey? And we saw a man that was not going to make it. He was not going to make it.

He was -- the doctor. And I told him, his wife -- I said she loves you. Why do you say that? Because she was devastated. A lot of wives wouldn't give a damn.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Steve Scalise. I actually honestly think you're better looking now.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Steve Scalise, I actually, honestly, I think you're better looking now. You're more handsome. You weren't that good looking. You look good now.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: That's amazing. But hey, what about Bobby Richardson?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Bobby Richardson would feel the ball. If it hit the first base, they'll throw it to the first baseman. He had unbelievable range. This was not Steve Scalise. Steve had no range.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Enough about Steve Scalise. What about Christopher Steele? He should have sued him, too.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: I should have sued him, too. But when you're President people don't like to sue. I want to thank my legal team, by the way, not for that advice, but for others.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: God, Trump is a loathsome human being, isn't he?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: God. Trump is a loathsome human being, isn't he?

These are the people looking at me. I'm really not a bad person.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Talk about fun, but did the media feel that way? What do you think?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIANNA KEILAR, CNN HOST: Vindictive, at times profane, angry, rambling response to his impeachment acquittal.

GLORIA BORGER, CNN CHIEF POLITICAL ANALYST: It was full of revenge. It was mean spirited. It was poisonous.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The first time, the word BS and he didn't abbreviate it was used in the East Room in a formal presidential address.

JOHN HARWOOD, CNN WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: It was dark because he's made clear that his mind is dark. This is somebody in deep psychological distress right now.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Once again, the shrinks come out to play. But these morons couldn't diagnose halitosis, which they probably have much less mental illness.

But hey, if the media were in the medical profession, all of their patients would be wearing toe tags.

So why is it so bad for them? Well, the facts are killing them. A new poll finds that 90 percent of Americans are satisfied with their personal life.

The approval numbers for the Republican Party are at its best in years. Trump's numbers jumped during impeachment, as new job numbers and wages beat expectations -- all this prosperity and happiness. What do the Dems have to offer?

Division, victimhood, cancel culture, identity politics, class warfare, anger -- no wonder the Democratic Party is less popular than frying bacon in the nude.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Learned. After that, this is the first time they faced any real competition in the street fighting department. I mean, can you remember the last time Trump rolled over? Well, unless it's over someone.

In a world of mitt, he's a boxing glove. He punches back a lot and it can be exhausting for everyone, including Republicans who aren't used to it, but it's also hilarious.

After his acquittal, Trump tweets memes that trigger everyone from Bette Midler to Gavin Newsom and they deserve it.

But so do we. We deserve to see them freak out. It's our reward four months of hysteria.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: But, you know there's something else to be thrilled about. For the media and the Dems, politics was always really personal.

Politics spilled into sports, education, entertainment. It polluted everything.

But Trump had somehow reverse the current. He's brought real life into politics. Jokes, insults honest to God laughs. True, it's a New York kind of life, a cross between a construction boss and a cab driver.

But still, it's great because it drives the establishment bonkers. So is it over? Hardly.

The heat is deep, and it's an emotional investment too heavy to discard.

So we'll go through impeachment again, millions of dollars, months of attention, fulfilling a phony exercise with the media strongly behind it.

Really, impeachment is a fantasy sports league for losers. But as they get worse, Trump seems to get better because impeachment is his vitamin. You keep making them, he'll keep taking them.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight guests. She's got gall and a southern drawl, Fox Business Network, anchor, Dagen McDowell.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: He's written more scripts than a doctor at the ER. TV writer/producer, Rob Long.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: She's the face of a generation excuse me, gin. She's the face of gin -- host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation. Kat Timpf.

[APPLAUSE]

Cheer.

GUTFELD: He is as ripped as President Trump's scripts. My massive master sidekick and host of "Nuff Said," on Fox Nation, Tyrus.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Dagon, Dagon, Dagon, did you feel pity for the Dems this week? He had a great week, they had a terrible one.

DAGON MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: No pity, but when it comes to a loser, I prefer a sore loser. When you beat them, they have a total meltdown. It helps you savor the victory. It puts an exclamation point on it.

See, we were denied Hillary Clinton's meltdown because she hid after she lost to Donald Trump. We've been waiting for over three years to watch, well, what Nancy Pelosi did at the State of the Union address.

She was -- she practically had a twitch in her -- she was like -- she was biting the inside of her mouth and then whammo, she just completely lost it.

And it just drove home the victory.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, Rob, I can't help but notice that the response to Trump never changes. It's like, oh, my God, he said this.

I can't believe he said BS. It's like they put -- they live in a world where they never hear these things and coming from a President, how awful.

It's been three or four years. Move on.

ROB LONG, TV WRITER AND PRODUCER: Well, also, I mean, look, the guy is funny. A friend of mine, he writes for one of those late night comedy shows and he's sort of a Trump supporter.

They're all watching, all the writers are watching Trump give one of those speeches and Trump is making a bunch of jokes and he turns to his fellow comedy writers and says, I mean, okay, come on. The guy is funny.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: No, he is not.

[LAUGHTER]

LONG: I mean, you don't have to like him to think he is funny. I mean, I think that is ultimately is the problem for the Democrats is that you have a bunch of people who don't like him.

I mean, I don't like him. Right? But I mean, I like three percent unemployment.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: I like 200,000 new jobs.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: I mean, I like that. I like -- I like all the things he said in the State of the Union, which are genuine successes that any President has a right to claim.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: And he did it. And they just -- what do they have? They have -- well, things are good, but we're mad as hell about it.

GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, you raised the point.

LONG: Good luck.

GUTFELD: You don't have to like this words.

LONG: No.

GUTFELD: And like his deeds. But saying this forever that in fact, there might be a correlation between his obnoxiousness and the success. Has anybody thought about that?

LONG: Americans didn't hire him to be their friend.

GUTFELD: No.

LONG: They hired him to do the job.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: And he -- he did his like four-year review -- performance review on Tuesday night. Pretty good.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: I mean, he can't get a raise --

GUTFELD: But also, you know, Kat --

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Kat --

LONG: And it kills me to say it. It kills me to say it.

GUTFELD: I know.

LONG: I am the guy who said it wasn't going to work. It kills me to say it. But it's true.

GUTFELD: I was wrong. Hey Kat, the weird thing about it, too, is that he was an achiever on the Republican side, but he was a pretty good liberal President. Some of the things he was talking about were things that Democrats should have been applauding.

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NATION HOST: Some of them transcended politics. Period. Right? So everybody has to agree that Donald Trump has said and done many things that anyone else that would have ended their political career a long time ago. And the Democrats don't get it.

They're running around and being like, what? How is this possible? What is this sorcery? And I'm like, I don't know about sorcery. But I do know that a lot of it has to do with you guys.

And I think a perfect example is the way they acted at the State of the Union. It wasn't just the paper ripping. It was when he's talking about those things that do transcend politics, like low unemployment, like oh, honoring a veteran, but lawmakers are standing up and cheering and they're sitting there like --

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Stupid veterans.

TIMPF: Right. Exactly. You risked your life for my freedom. [Bleep]. Like excuse me?

[APPLAUSE]

TIMPF: You know.

[APPLAUSE]

TIMPF: But that's part of the reason why Republicans have such an easy time saying, well, if you oppose him, it's just because of Trump derangement syndrome.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Because even if you do have a legitimate concern or a complaint about him or his presidency or his policies, people aren't going to take it as seriously because you've already proven you don't need a reason to be complaining and pissed off. And --

GUTFELD: No, that's an excellent point. Tyrus, what do you make of the week?

MURDOCH: Well, let's focus on the positive with the Democrats because I was sick all week. So I watched a lot of TV.

And you have to wait a long time to get to the good stuff. So I watched a lot of coverage of the impeachment trial, and I watched a lot of the Iowa caucus stuff.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And I remember watching in the beginning when they were trying to form lines, like who? What group? Who's viable? Who's not viable? And had a little -- and the nice, old, elderly lady who couldn't count 127 people in the room.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And lined them up, was in charge of an app, and I remember saying, I know, it's just the cough medicine, but she's going to screw this up.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: They literally -- I was like, no, they have an app.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And whenever you have glasses with the chain on the end of it --

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: You are not supposed to be the person in charge of a new app.

GUTFELD: You're supposed to be at the library.

MURDOCH: So her accounting -- and literally, like I saw one person moving and they went from Biden to Warren and she was like, nope, nope, we've got to start over.

And then the best thing ever was an even older guy who comes over to help her look. He's like, no. No. I think it's 17. I think it's 24. And I'm like, they are going to mess this up.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: Like, all of a sudden I was tuned in. I had three TVs going because I didn't want to miss anything.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: And at one point, I fell asleep in my chair like this. And I'm like, whoa, they still messed it up.

They couldn't count anything.

GUTFELD: No.

MURDOCH: What they need to do --

GUTFELD: What?

MURDOCH: Is get a big tent and put it in front of the camera and CNN would be like, "Under Construction, Democrats 2024. New Things Coming.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: See you then.

GUTFELD: Say goodbye. Say goodbye.

MURDOCH: It's a wrap.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

MURDOCH: All right, still to come. What's next for Adam Schiff? You do not want to miss this.

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Poor Adam. He really thought he had him. Well, we've talked about who won the impeachment trial. Now, let's talk about who didn't.

As I've said before, don't think the Dems aren't going to stop trying to find dirt on Trump. They'll look anywhere. Hell, they'll go to a local high school if they thought they'd find the goods there. Right Adam?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Adam Schiff goes undercover at a local high school.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa.

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING ADAM SCHIFF: Hey, bro.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can I help you?

SHILLUE: I'm new here.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: New here. How old are you?

SHILLUE: Seventeen. I just got my license.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice.

SHILLUE: You want to score some grass?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Grass? What are you trying to sell me some weed, old man?

SHILLUE: Are you trying to sell me weed?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What are you? A narc?

SHILLUE: Got you. 21 Jump Street.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: It gets worse. Oh, it gets worse. Unfortunately, for Adam, not even Mitt Romney could help him. Everyone knew there weren't enough votes to convict. Even the media.

Their only way out of this hell, pretending that Mitt was a hero.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JIM ACOSTA, CNN CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: This was a profile encouraged that there's still room for Mavericks here in Washington.

BRIAN WILLIAMS, MSNBC HOST: It felt historic indeed. It will cement Senator Romney's legacy.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Romney stood in the well and he seemed to be reaching for the ghost of John McCain.

CHUCK TOOD, MSNBC HOST: The Mitt Romney decision is a fascinating one for this reason. He is now the President of the Republican resistance to Donald Trump.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Ah, yes. Enjoy the praise while at lasts, Mitt. In two weeks they will go back to hating you. Trust me. And you'll have to find someone to commiserate with.

Someone who understands rejection. Right, Adam?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now, Adam Schiff FaceTimes Joe Biden.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING JOE BIDEN: Hunter, is that you?

SHILLUE (AS SCHIFF): It's Adam Schiff.

SHILLUE (AS BIDEN): Never heard of her. Look, I once ate a giant bag of rock salt at the Daytona 500. It wasn't even a problem.

SHILLUE (AS SCHIFF): Five hundred, that's a number right?

SHILLUE (AS BIDEN): Yes. Come on, man. Fourteen divided by two equals, Matt Damon. If you had been there, you'd know that.

SHILLUE (AS SCHIFF): Matt Damon? Yes. I loved his work in Ford versus Fettuccine.

SHILLUE (AS BIDEN): That's right. Fettuccine. Delicious. I used to make the toaster.

SHILLUE (AS SCHIFF): On the count of three, name your favorite place to eat toaster fettuccine. One, two, three.

SHILLUE (AS BIDEN): Bath tub.

SHILLUE (AS SCHIFF): Bath tub. You, too.

SHILLUE (AS BIDEN): Come on man.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: So, how will history judge this week? The media loves to ask how historians will view this impeachment trial and they're convinced they won't be too kind to Donald Trump.

All I know is this, when the historians look back on it, I'll probably be dead. I can't predict what historians will say in a hundred years, but I think I can predict what voters may do in November. Right Adam?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Adam Schiff starts his new job.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, can I get a large cappuccino, please?

SHILLUE: Name?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mike.

SHILLUE: Mike. No, I don't like it. I should call you Derek. Large cappuccino coming up. (Makes funny noises). Large cappuccino for Derek.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I saw you the whole time, man. Did you just get that at Starbucks?

SHILLUE: Do you need room for cream?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, yes, but --

SHILLUE: Large cappuccino for Derek. Enjoy.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Rob, where is Adam now? I mean, how can he show his face after what he did -- the damage he's done to his party?

LONG: Well, I'll tell you where Shillue is. He is on his way to get his Emmy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: That's where he is. Those are pretty good performances.

[APPLAUSE]

LONG: I've got to say, I didn't think he had that kind of range. But he's got range.

Look, Adam Schiff is going to be a very safe Congressman. He has got a very safe district. He's not going anywhere. These people aren't going anywhere.

And it's good for Republicans to remember that the Democrats are going to continue to hold the House and they might even get the Senate.

This is a long process we're going through here, but again, I go back to it. It's like, if you'd said five years ago, the front runner in the Democratic Party was going to be a communist.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean, so I think he is literally a communist.

[LAUGHTER]

LONG: And the runner up is going to be a dude who's married to another dude, and you think yourself, God of America is a great place.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: It's a land of opportunity. I mean, Joseph McCarthy was terrified that a communist would run for President. And we have one now we're like, you know, he's a communist. He's not going to win, whatever.

Like that's pretty good. So if you're Adam Schiff, like, you've got to get a new act, because his act is all about how terrible everything is.

And I mean it's going to work in his district, but it's going to be a problem I think for them going forward making the case to America.

GUTFELD: I see what you mean, that it's intolerant.

LONG: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: I'm like, America is actually -- we're doing great. It's great. Like, everything's great.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: All right. Kat, is everything great with you?

TIMPF: I was pretty bummed to see this whole Mitt Romney thing on the rundown. Because I don't want to talk about Mitt Romney, which might shock you because he has, you know, a reputation for being so interesting.

You know, talk about a guy that lives on the edge. He's like the Nikki Sixx of the Senate. Good time.

But no, just in the larger picture, I don't like the way we talk about in this political climate, the way we talk about somebody who at any point breaks with their party, right?

So he thinks, you know, Trump was wrong, whatever, votes that way, and now you have to think either he's a hero or he is a monster.

It's like, okay, hero. What about that, you know, binders full of women thing? You guys pretty jazzed up about that one or you know the monster? Not that scary of a monster.

So I just -- he did what he thought, you know, was right to do and it didn't change anything.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's right.

TIMPF: Trump is still -- Trump is still acquitted and we are all still, you know, going to die someday.

GUTFELD: Thank you for -- you know what? To your point. He like -- it's the prison of two ideas.

TIMPF: I think it's bad because I think that it shouldn't be such a huge deal.

GUTFELD: But I will say this, he is the only one senator that has a beef with Trump, and he's the only one senator -- Republican that is -- that voted against him.

So I think it's a mixture of things, a little bit of principle, but a lot of beef. I think he eats beef, Tyrus. Are you going to miss the -- are you going to miss Schiff?

MURDOCH: He's not going anywhere. He's literally writing a new screenplay right now as we thought. He was like Spain. It was always Spain. It wasn't Russia. It wasn't the Ukraine. It was Spain.

There was a photo of Giuliani with two bullfighters. That's right there. It was two bullfighters, Giuliani and Trump and that's where the Russian messages were sent because it was Spain the whole time.

GUTFELD: I had no idea.

MURDOCH: So impeachment 2.

GUTFELD: Impeachment 2. The reckoning.

MURDOCH: Echoes of Spain. Like I am telling you, this isn't going anywhere.

GUTFELD: No, it's going to be great.

MURDOCH: I am telling you, Spain. Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: I wonder who's going to direct that?

LONG: Impeachment 2: Electric Boogaloo.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Oh, we're going to have fun with this one, Dagon.

TIMPF: Only if it stars Adam Sandler, then I'll watch.

LONG: How could it not?

MCDOWELL: I'm going to leave Kat with a memory that will burn into her brain forever about Mitt Romney.

When I look at Mitt Romney, I see stonewashed jeans with pleats.

[LAUGHTER]

MCDOWELL: They're actually not even jeans, they are denim trousers. He's the dude at the Daytona 500 who is walking around and asking the drivers where the door handle is.

[LAUGHTER]

MCDOWELL: But you know what? He is -- I look at him, he is a dork. You know that Trump has made every other Republican senator a total badass. Lindsey Graham has this posture now where he's like yes, you say what? Say what? Bring it. Bring it.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

MCDOWELL: Bring it. And Mitt Romney, is standing there with his thumb up his --

GUTFELD: Yes, you know what it is? Some might say it's a coarsening of our culture, Dagon that you're applauding.

MCDOWELL: You know what? We are course.

GUTFELD: Yes, we are.

MCDOWELL: We are course. That's why people, we are course. We speak our minds.

GUTFELD: Yes, all right. Oh, we have more. We have more. That's a tease.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

AISHAH HASNIE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Aishah Hasnie.

Tragedy in Thailand as 21 people are killed in a wide shooting rampage. The suspect began the alleged attack by shooting two people at a military barrack.

Authorities say he then drove to a busy mall and opened fire. Dozens were also injured. The suspect was killed by police after an hour's long standoff in the mall.

Investigators say the shooting may have started over a land deal payment dispute.

Meantime, a grim milestone in China where more than 800 people have now died from the coronavirus. That surpasses the 774 people killed during the SARS pandemic.

Worldwide, more than 8,000 people were infected, SARS, which is also known as Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, and the Wuhan outbreak started in China.

I'm Aishah Hasnie, now back to GREG GUTFELD.

ANNOUNCER: And now, THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW presents, the 2020 CAN'T-idates.

GUTFELD: Don't knock us for that caucus. It's like the Iowa caucus was picture day at school and the Iowa Democratic Party was that kid that shaved half his head with dad's razor the night before.

All that planning, all that pressure to get it right. Mom even got him a new outfit, but sadly, the kickoff to the campaign was a night of nothing.

So no winner was declared on Monday night and it wasn't until Thursday night that all precincts were reported. Mayor Pete and Bernie at the top separated by less than a percentage point.

Biden, the so-called front runner came in fourth and Liz Warren came in fifth in Pocahontas County, Iowa.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Not even kidding. Not kidding. That's like me coming in last in Gutfeld is Awesome County, Utah, which exists.

The Associated Press wouldn't declare a winner and the head of the D.N.C. wants the whole state recanvassed. Oh man. While everyone is moving on to New Hampshire.

Meanwhile, Bloomberg is trying to match Trump's trolling game. He's doubling his ad budget. Let's see what he's getting for his money.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Unfair, lie, lie, lie, lie. Lie, lie, like, lie, lie, lie. Lie, lie, lie.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That was the opposite of not sucking. A five-year-old on a sugar high could have done a better job finger painting from his diaper. Sorry.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Yes, finally. What is Liz doing here? She's getting off a private jet, that's not very earth friendly. But then watch what's going on. Ooh, wait, is that a -- where is she? I'm going to hide behind this person. You can't see me. Where did she you go? There you go. You can't see me now. She disappeared. She disappeared. There you go.

For more. Let's check in with our political correspondent, Toodles who is kicking back with some moonshine after a very hectic week. Toodles, how are you holding up?

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Pace yourself, Toodles. Kat, what's going on?

TIMPF: I just thought what happened in Iowa was so interesting.

GUTFELD: Really?

TIMPF: Because it was Democrats versus other Democrats, and somehow Trump still won.

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: You know, like --

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

TIMPF: The dude doesn't even have to run.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: He still won. It was such an absurd mess, just truly unbelievable, because they're competing. The party is competing to run the most powerful country in the world and that's a pretty tough job. And it's going to be a hard thing to convince people you can do that when you're still apparently trying to figure out counting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Dagon, Bloomberg's ad, I mean, you know, he paid piles of cash for that just to get like -- I mean, I've heard the salaries he is paying. The problem is, if you don't have talent, you're making a casserole out of crap, which can give you E. coli.

[LAUGHTER]

MCDOWELL: That is your question. That is your question. Now, I am going to be thinking about E. coli and the diaper.

[LAUGHTER]

MCDOWELL: The thing about that -- that video was two and a half minutes long.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: And all it did was lie, lie, lie, lie. I love the Gingerbread Man.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Catch me as fast as you can, and I just assumed since Trump calls him Mini Mike that was many Mini Mike.

GUTFELD: Right.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: You're right.

[APPLAUSE]

TIMPF: Dagon?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Tyrus, more on the Iowa caucus. How do you feel?

MURDOCH: When you're not true to yourself, it is very hard to maintain that facade.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And the Democratic Party has tried to maintain how bad things are. Things are so bad that a humble school teacher who dreamed of being President of the United States flies in a private jet from Iowa to New Hampshire.

And then for some reason, doesn't want to do 100,000 selfies right there when she got off the plane like --

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: But because she's not into money and success and the things that drive Americans, getting out of a plane is a bad thing, so we have to hide.

So if you were actually being true to yourself and saying that I can be President and you know what, when you're President, guess what, kids? You can roll in a private jet. Come check it out.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And people will be like, oh, that's cool. I want to be like that, but that's not what we're doing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: We're all victims. We're all abused. Pay no attention to this private jet. I came down here in a school bus.

GUTFELD: She shouldn't make --

MURDOCH: That actually made stops on the way.

GUTFELD: She should have made it disappear like David Copperfield.

MURDOCH: But people see right through the facade and real quick, if you give me $100,000.00 to do that add, I'll put two Gingerbread Men up there.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: There you go. You know, Rob, I have no idea. She could have been hiding and she didn't even know it. It could have been a coincidence. I don't care.

LONG: I don't think so.

GUTFELD: I think the choices that they have are so bad right now.

LONG: Look, it's a problem. For years, they've been telling us that this is a crisis. America is falling down a well. That everything is terrible. That this is an important election for us.

And the truth is, it wasn't the app or anything that happened in Iowa. It's that a lot of voters didn't turn out.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LONG: If a Democrat in Iowa isn't willing to go and stand up for their caucus choice and their and their actual turnout is low. That's a sign that your base is not that energetic. They may just want to stay home on a cold Tuesday night in November.

GUTFELD: I think so. I think you're right about the -- 2024 -- start planning for that. All right, plenty of show still. Don't go anywhere.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Does your animal fret when you call it a pet? PETA, the animal rights group, not the Finnish model I dated in the 90s is offended by what you're saying. So you better stop. They want you to stop calling your animals pets and stop referring to yourself as an owner.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: A lot of people at home who have dogs and cats, they will call these animals their pets and they'll refer to themselves as owners. And this implies that the animals are a possession.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You're stupid. I'm pretty sure if you ask a dog or cat they tell you that they rule the house, not the human. At least that's what Jasper tells me.

So instead of calling them pets, PETA's preferred term is animal companions, which sounds sexy, because you and your animals are equals and as such, you should be doing things with your animals as true equals like my friend, Nancy does.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Shoulders down. Chest open. Tuck in your stomach. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Always slow and strong. Four more coming. Four, breathe it out, and in three pick it up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wait until they do squats. Kat, I know you're excited about this segment. Why?

TIMPF: Because PETA is totally wrong. They're concerned that the word pet objectifies animals. But they don't consider that there are some animals out there who might want to be objectified.

Okay, for example, my cat, Chins, will not stop posting thirsty pictures on Instagram. This one, the caption look back at it, fire emoji. Next one. This one, they hate to see me go but they love to watch me leave. Peach emoji. Okay.

It's exotic until this one. Just thick. He cannot stop posting very sexually suggestive Instagram posts. He loves to be objectified. And I would rather have them advise me on what to do about this because it's hard to raise a cat in this hyper sexualized culture.

GUTFELD: It's true. It's true. You know, cats they grow up so fast. Before you know it, I don't know. You know what's worse, Dagon, than calling an animal a pet? How about calling it food?

MCDOWELL: It's true. It's true. There are dog meat farms all over.

GUTFELD: No, I just meant in general. Animals would prefer to be pets.

MCDOWELL: Yes, indeed. I did an experiment before I came on the show. Animals don't care what you call them. I have a dog, Charlie and you know, I've called him zit, booger, and he still looked at me. It's the tone of your voice and the fact that I smell like food.

GUTFELD: Yes. Smell like food. Tyrus, life is so great right now.

MURDOCH: I am going to stop. I don't even need a question.

GUTFELD: Okay.

MURDOCH: Let's just wrap this up. Humans understand the human language. I could name my dog jackass and if I say all the smile, come here, jackass, he is going to come and he is going to love me. You know why? Because he doesn't know the human language.

When he figures it out, he would be like, hey, what's with the jackass? Sorry, man, I was trying to make a point.

When that day happens, I'm worried about it. Owner-pet. They don't give a damn. Just fill my bowl, rub my belly and don't eat me.

GUTFELD: Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Rob, you have an animal companion?

LONG: A longtime dog owner. In fact, sadly I did -- I lost my dog three weeks ago. Very sad.

TIMPF: Thanks for bringing it up, Greg.

LONG: The only thing I hated was when people would say, so, are you Ellie's daddy? That's weird and I don't like it.

TIMPF: My cat calls me mom. Absolutely.

LONG: I don't like that. Like master, owner, guardian, fine. Anything but daddy.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's gross. That's good. But you know what, I have an animal companion. But he's Swedish. Sven. I walk him in the park.

MURDOCH: Stop it.

GUTFELD: He likes the animals. He has a great leash.

MURDOCH: Stop it. Stop it.

LONG: Has he had the shots?

MURDOCH: Oh, here we go. Okay.

GUTFELD: Right in the belly button.

MURDOCH: Stop it.

GUTFELD: We've got to take a break. Don't get up.

[APPLAUSE]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: According to a fraction, Rob is quite the attraction, not you Rob Long. Sorry.

Some math researcher say actor Robert Pattinson is the best looking man on the planet, and it's not their opinion. They actually applied science to this. It's called the Greek Golden Ratio of Beauty Pie, which was also my nickname in high school.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: When applied to Robert Pattinson's face, the results show over 92 percent physical perfection.

Big deal. Ever hear of Herve Renard? The pro soccer coach? Pattinson is pre-algebra to this guy's advanced calculus.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Can't stop looking at him. And I'm a heterosexual. But Rob is only 92 percent perfect.

According to science, here's what 100 percent looks like.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Greg. Gregory John Gutfeld. Oh, yes. Gorgeous. Oh, damn. I bet he looks great in jeans. Oh, yes. It's a present for your eyes. Yes. No, no. Yes.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Take that stupid math. Tyrus, what do you make of this science?

MURDOCH: I don't. All I want to do is to punch the guy in the stomach. It's like, is he cute now? Look at his face now. He is crying. He is throwing up.

In what planet is that cute? That face doesn't tell me he is going to keep somebody out the house.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: I don't look at it like, oh wow, man. That's supposedly in the law of nature when something is good looking, he is in track to be seen go out and get food. Keep the house. He literally looks like he would be stolen.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: You know, what Tyrus is saying, Rob is the truth -- like, I think of like good looking guys. I think a Lee Marvin in "Point Blank" or Robert Mitchum in "Night of the Hunter," Robert Conrad in "Wild, Wild West."

LONG: Robert Conrad at anything actually.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Those pants, Rob.

LONG: Yes, right.

GUTFELD: The pants.

LONG: You don't have to sell him to me. I'm buying. I also feel traditionally the only number that really matters for a male attractiveness is the net worth.

[LAUGHTER]

LONG: Traditionally that is the thing that attracts the ladies in my understanding.

GUTFELD: Yes. Your understanding. Dagon, there's always this argument that it has to do with good looking men have subtle feminine features, right? Cheekbones and supple breasts.

MCDOWELL: Yes. Very soft stomach.

GUTFELD: Very soft stomach. Men with childbearing hips, very sexy.

MCDOWELL: Hot big can. A man only needs to be able to do two things make me laugh and make me waffles, but I love -- I love a --

MURDOCH: Is that a euphemism?

MCDOWELL: Yes. I love a man with asymmetric face like if he could look on one side it looks like Harrison Ford and then on the other when he turns it Steve Buscemi.

GUTFELD: Oh, wow. That is asymmetrical, and I think physically impossible.

[LAUGHTER]

MCDOWELL: You've never seen him the dudes I dated.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Kat, I'm afraid to ask, what are your thoughts? Pattinson, hottest man on the planet?

TIMPF: Look, I've never really been good at math and this whole thing explains like why I dated so many guys without teeth in my 20s.

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: It's a joke. It's a joke. It was one guy and it lasted into my 30s.

But if I was in school, and I didn't really always pay attention to math, because I was like, whatever. I'm not going to be an astronaut. Someone who said, Little Catherine, you may not want to be an astronaut, but when you grow up, you're not going to be able to tell who is hot or not.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And that's going to make things hard for you. I might have paid attention.

GUTFELD: Yes, you might have. You might have. I don't know.

Perfect man. Clint Eastwood, "High Plains Drifter."

MCDOWELL: Boom.

GUTFELD: Yes. There's nothing -- that Poncho, him riding in.

LONG: Clint Eastwood, "Good, Bad and the Ugly."

GUTFELD: Ah, he could paint my town red.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: What the? Where are we going?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I don't know. All right. Don't go away. More stuff, I hope.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks Dagon McDowell, Rob Long, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, studio audience. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.

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