Heavily redacted documents share new details of Flynn's 2017 FBI interviews

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Heavily redacted documents share new details of Flynn's 2017 FBI interviews

Former White House National Security adviser in court after release of a heavily redacted FBI 302; reaction and analysis on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," December 18, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Jedediah Bila, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."

The sentencing for Mike Flynn being pushed back until March, after a dramatic day in court. The federal judge saying he was disgusted with President Trump's former national security advisor for lying to the FBI and warned that he could be sent to prison. The judge also sparking a media firestorm after questioning whether Flynn committed treason before walking back his comments. The White House is reacting today and it's standing by its criticism of the case and also blasting James Comey.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: What we do know that was inappropriate by own self-admittance of James Comey, is that the FBI broke standard protocol in the way that they came in and ambushed General Flynn, and in the way that they questioned him, and in the way that they encouraged him not to have White House counsel's office present.

And we know that because James Comey told us that, and he said that the very reason that they did it was because -- the only reason that they did it, it was the Trump administration and they thought they could get away with it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, Dana, the judge making a lot of headlines today. Judge Emmet Sullivan has a very good reputation. But, you know, he said the treason thing and then he walked it back. And then he said, well, you were working for a foreign government while you're working in the White House, talking about Turkey. And then, he got the dates wrong, had to correct that. What did you think about today's events?

DANA PERINO, HOST: Well, I think it's good to remember that judges have this discretion and this power and it's one of the reasons it's so important on who you put on the bench, right? So President Trump's focus from day one as president has been trying to get as many judges confirmed as possible. And the senate has been able to fulfill that.

And so, Emmet Sullivan is known as somebody who -- he gets a lot of cases through his court. He is not shy about getting press attention. But, earlier this week -- well, I guess Monday, he went from hero to zero in a week, right? Because he asked, I want to know more about this situation. If you say -- you came here and you pled guilty, but you're saying now that the FBI agents like tricked you? So, I need to know more about that. And I want everybody to deliver their documents to me.

So for a week, we spent having people think, oh, the judge is going to throw the whole case out, because of this thing. The first thing he asked him today is do you want to change your plea? No. Did the FBI do something bad? No. OK, so fine. I think in a way -- in the court of public opinion, that works a little bit.

Flynn's lawyers did an excellent job of getting him to where he is, where he was going to get no jail time. But, again, with the judge, they have discretion, so sentencing guidelines are only that. They're guidelines. And the judge is basically indicating that he was possibly going to get jail time today. Flynn's team asked for a recess. They go back and they're going to delay it now for three months.

WATTERS: Yeah. If you're looking at no jail time, I wouldn't flirt with anything that could lock me up even for a day. I would not do well in prison, Greg, everybody knows that.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: As long as you don't flirt.

WATTERS: Only you would do worse than I.

GUTFELD: Oh, thank you very much. This was like -- today was like when you're on the tarmac of a delayed flight and the guy comes on and says, now, we're going back to the gates. Oh, we're going back to the gates.

A couple of thoughts, the judge seemed very disgusted with Flynn, but I think it's because Flynn didn't give the judge what they -- what he wanted, right? It was something -- they didn't get everything they needed. It was like the judge wanted a PlayStation for Christmas, but he got, you know, a jumping rope. That's how I got from that.

But I'm going to go back to the question that I asked that people hate, is this news? It's a news hangover, right? This is the lingering headache and nausea from 2016 that won't go away. So the media here and elsewhere, it feels really dramatic. It's really important, but it's not. It's not.

This is just the only game in town right now because it's the holidays, and because under Trump, the country is rolling along pretty well. Try to ignore the stock market because it's the end of the year. That tends to happen. But things are going along. We have declines in crime, terror. Optimism is high. So the media needs to focus on this thing, the Comey, the Flynn, the collusion. It's like a triangle of idiocy, right?

By the way, I do believe he will get -- if anything happens he will get pardoned. And I think he deserves a pardon, if you compared to previous pardons, like this is nothing compared to the people that Clinton pardon. Clinton pardon like -- how many people on the last day? Well, 16 terrorists, 16 FALN terrorists he pardoned, people who tried to bomb our country or did bomb our country. So, if you say you think that Flynn doesn't deserve a pardon, read your history.

WATTERS: Yeah, I mean --

GUTFELD: Or Wikipedia, which is what I did.

WATTERS: -- very decorated veteran. I think I know what you were talking about when you said the judge was looking for something because they have been sending up smoke signals, Jedediah, that, you know, maybe he was going to pull his plea. Maybe he was going to come out and tell the judge I was set up, you know, I didn't really lie, and the judge was kind of asking are you really going to go that far.

And the minute the Mueller's team heard that that was a possibility, they just dangled that Turkey consulting thing that he was unregistered as a foreign agent. And they're going to hit him hard if he doesn't do what they agreed to do.

JEDEDIAH BILA, HOST: This whole story becomes so confusing because you can't reconcile it on so many levels. I can't reconcile why he lied. As someone who was, you know, incoming national security person, you would expect him to have some contact with Russian ambassadors. Why would he lie? Then you look at why you would be advised not to have lawyers present. If that's not shady, it certainly looks shady.

Then you look at the fact that the agents knew essentially what he had said to the Russian ambassador. They already have the transcripts. So why are you going there and interviewing him for? You already know. Are you looking to entrap him? Then you have the 302, which is the FBI document about the report and it's filed nine months later after the incident.

So, so many things about -- the reason I think it's going to ultimately either get, you know, there's going to be a pardon. There's just so much nonsense here. One of the people interviewing him winds up being Peter Strzok, which is the guy who has, you know, those text messages, those anti-Trump text messages to his lover.

The whole thing is a disaster. I don't know how it's going to end. But you can certainly look at this, I think, and say Flynn shouldn't have lied. It was absurd that he did lie. He absolutely -- it's pretty clear to me that he did in fact lie and that is a problem. But also that this was some sort of bizarre set up to have him hopefully lie and appease certain people that were expecting him or wanting him to lie. It's really a mess.

WATTERS: It is a mess. Juan, clean it up for us.

BILA: Clean up what I've just said.

(LAUGHTER)

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: No, I wanted to clean up Jesse's hair because if you go to jail and I come to visit, I will bring the hair gel.

GUTFELD: He could actually hide things in his hair. I think you could hide like a file.

WATTERS: I have the 302.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: Seriously, you realize that you do need a haircut.

WATTERS: Thank you, Greg.

WILLIAMS: It looks better than Stephen Miller's hair.

GUTFELD: That's a low bar.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: OK, all right. So, anyway, I thought the day started off with Donald Trump wishing Mike Flynn good luck. And I thought, hmm, that's peculiar, what's going on here. And then he says, you know, look, I think there's no evidence that Strzok and Page -- oh, he says Strzok and Page may be deleted evidence. And then, of course, the reports that have come out said that's not true.

So I'm thinking what is going on here? What's going on here is that all of a sudden this has become highly politicized, what's going on with Mike Flynn in a court of law. And you have a judge who's well respected, a judge who, by the way, throughout a conviction of Senator Ted Stevens, a Republican, once he found that the prosecutors he believed engaged in misconduct. So this is not a judge who is any, you know, weak willow. Oh, no. This is a strong, competent judge, well respected by both sides.

But here is the thing, when you say to someone like Mike Flynn, you sold out your country. Jesse, I don't think there's anything more damning than that. And this comes from a judge who as you said got the 302 --

WATTERS: Can you explain though why did the judge say you sold out your country, what specifically was he pointing to?

PERINO: Well, look, I think that one of the things that is frustrating is they should have kept the whole thing under seal so not to give us a look at this document that has three quarters of it redacted.

BILA: Yeah.

PERINO: The judge has actually read the whole thing unredacted.

WILLIAMS: He read the whole thing, correct.

PERINO: We don't get to know. So it leaves -- that's why we have to do --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: And that's what we don't know.

WILLIAMS: But let me add to what Dana just said, which is, I think -- and this is key also in response to what Greg said about FALN and anybody else who's gotten pardoned, Marc Rich and the gang.

Mike Flynn, not only was he advising a presidential candidate while also representing a foreign government, he was getting classified briefings from the U.S. government that's given to our top presidential contenders. And then, once he becomes the national security advisor, you can't get much higher than that. This guy also had been head of the national security agency. But he's now the national security advisor, Jesse, and what is he doing? He's doing business for a foreign government without registering.

WATTERS: I don't want to minimize it, but everybody in the swamp does that, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Oh, no.

WATTERS: He's just trying to track down some radical cleric in Pennsylvania hiding from the government. It's not as shady as you're making it out to be.

WILLIAMS: Oh, come on.

WATTERS: I'm not excusing it.

WILLIAMS: Jesse --

WATTERS: It was illegal by not registering, but let's not make it out to be like a huge scandal.

WILLIAMS: It is. It's shocking. You can't be the -- ask Dana. Dana has been in the White House. You can't be the president's advisor and lie --

WATTERS: Dana would never even make a grammatical error --

(LAUGHTER) GUTFELD: But you know what this is about for the media, they can't find collusion, right? They can't. Right now, what is collusion? Russia maybe spent thousands of dollars on ads to influence the election. Have you seen those ads? No, seriously, have you seen them? They're hilarious. I can't even talk about them because they're too funny.

WILLIAMS: Oh, no, what you've talked about --

GUTFELD: But you know what? We spent -- we spend more money on our wardrobe than Russia spent on the ads.

WILLIAMS: Yeah, but they spent a ton --

GUTFELD: Did you see the ads, Juan? No, you've got to look at them.

WILLIAMS: But they did things like black lives matter, they do things like the second amendment advocates, and they're just pushing people to break apart --

GUTFELD: The ads were about addiction to self-pleasure.

WILLIAMS: Yeah. But they all were about --

GUTFELD: I tried to clean it up for you.

WILLIAMS: -- Donald Trump --

WATTERS: On that note, thank you, Greg.

GUTFELD: That didn't help anybody.

WATTERS: Is an American war hero being unfairly charged with murder in the killing of a suspected Taliban bomb maker? President Trump says he's reviewing the case, details ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Welcome back. And now a story we've been covering here on Fox News. The army has been investigating the 2010 killing of a suspected Taliban bomb maker for years, but the case was reopened after former green beret and silver start recipient Matthew Golsteyn made these comments in a 2016 interview with Bret Baier.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRET BAIER, HOST: Did you kill the Taliban bomb maker?

MATTHEW GOLSTEYN, FORMER GREEN BERET: Yes.

BAIER: You willingly offered up these details --

GOLSTEYN: Right.

BAIER: -- at the CIA, right?

GOLSTEYN: That's correct.

BAIER: And that's where it all started.

GOLSTEYN: Pretty much.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Golsteyn is now being charged with murder and could face the death penalty if convicted. President Trump is promising to review the case. It's a move that Golsteyn's wife -- she welcomes it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: We're not asking for some special favor. Oh, no, Matt's in trouble. He did something bad. We're looking for someone to step in and say enough is enough. He's been investigated for years. You've torn apart the lives of his family, the people who've served with him, and Matt himself.

(END VIDEO CLIP) PERINO: So, Greg, the military saying that this is a law enforcement matter and they're going to let the process take its course. But he has been investigated since 2010.

GUTFELD: Yeah. No, I would say let the process run, but the process has been running. There has been due process. You can't train patriotic men to kill bad guys and then punish them for doing their job because that's all he was doing. He killed the bomb maker who killed his fellow soldier friend who was one of ours. And we as a society cannot punish what we desire in a human being. I was thinking about this, you know who should really come out and support him? Hollywood, because he's precisely the type of hero portrayed in movies. Like the renegade, the guy that goes out and solves the problem, the die-hard character. He's the guy that we like to see as a defender of our country. This is why I think Donald Trump --

PERINO: And how do those movies end? With him being exonerated.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. So I think Trump like this because this is a guy who's protecting our freedoms from chaos. So it's entirely natural for the law and order president to get involved in this, and it's a win.

PERINO: Jesse, some people have compared and I think his family even to Bergdahl, and how Bergdahl was treated which was -- brought to the rose garden, basically given a pass.

WATTERS: Yeah. You can't treat Bergdahl like, you know, a hero when he was a traitor, and then sentenced this guy to life. It's just really, really sad, potentially given the death penalty. A few things strike me here, Dana, is the influence of Fox News. Think about it. I mean, Special Report gets him in trouble, and then Fox & Friends might get him out of trouble.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: I mean, the president is looking at Pete Hegseth that he's like, oh, I'm getting my pardon ready.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: I do understand the army's view that you have to have rules of engagement or else you're just going to have vigilantes running wild all over third-world countries.

PERINO: Yeah.

WATTERS: And -- but I also understand the other point of view is that you're out there in Afghanistan to save lives, and this guy was saving lives. He's protecting U.S. national security. The army can be sticklers though. Remember the guy that took those photos of the submarine? He got sent to a year in prison.

GUTFELD: He got pardoned --

WATTERS: Hillary -- got pardoned. Hillary did much more damaging things with classified information, and Comey let her walk. So, the rules are rules. You can't, as Greg said, have mercenaries running around, although we do idolize mercenaries in this country. I think the president is going to use his pardon power. I mean, he has Dinesh D'Souza, Scooter Libby, Jack Johnson. I think this guy is going to be next.

PERINO: Juan, what do you think?

WILLIAMS: Well, I think that -- your law and order, I know Greg always tells me that we like law and order.

GUTFELD: I do.

WILLIAMS: So, I think to myself, well, there's military justice. Let it proceed. Why is the president getting involved in this except that, as Jesse points out, he's watching Fox and he sees a mention of it and thinks he's going to do it. The reality is that -- not that this guy was even sort of a Hollywood hero, is that he took a prisoner off of the grounds and executed him. Now, I don't think that's a hero to anybody because once you're a prisoner you're not a combatant.

WATTERS: They're debating whether --

WILLIAMS: No, there's no debate. He, actually, has said now that maybe he misled people who were investigating this crime as to what took place. But apparently it's not a -- no argument about the fact that he then disposes of the body. I mean, so I just think, well, you know what, I'm always on the side of the U.S. military because the U.S. military defends me, my family, my friends, my colleagues, all of us here at Fox News, so go for it. But I don't think that you can't -- if you believe in law and order, have the U.S. military acting, especially U.S. members of the U.S. military acting out of line in terms of order in terms of the law and expect that people will respect us. If you're in Afghanistan you want people say, you know what, the United States stands for what is right in this world, not that they're a bunch of murderers.  PERINO: All right. Jed, I just want to show you the president's tweet about this. He said, at the request of many, I will be reviewing the case of a U.S. military hero, Major Matt Golsteyn -- Golsteyn, excuse me, who is charged with murder. He could face the death penalty from our own government after he admitted to killing a terrorist bomb maker while overseas.

BILA: Yeah. And I think that's fine for him to say that he's reviewing it. He hasn't said what he's going to do about it. We've covered this over the weekend. I was on that show with Pete. We've drew a lot of attention to it. But I -- we got feedback from a lot of military members, and what they were saying was that there so much bureaucracy now and the rules of engagement have gotten so out of control.

PERINO: Convoluted, right? Confusing?

BILA: Yeah, they're confusing. The troops on the ground don't -- they often times are like, what do we do here? We have what we consider to be the enemy. This is a huge threat. These catch and release programs scares the heck out of them because they're afraid if you take somebody who you know is a threat and then you release them, not only does that person become a threat then to your men and women and to yourself, but also to say if you're in Afghanistan, to the Afghanis --

WATTERS: Yeah.

BILA: -- who are then helping you out, that then they're going to go on target. So, I think something has to be done. I do think the death penalty being on the table for somebody like this is a little crazy. I mean, this is someone who remember is out there on the front lines fighting to protect himself, his men, to keep the bad guys away.

GUTFELD: He should get an award, not --

BILA: It's amazing how he's been criminalized for that. So, I do support it. I see what you're saying, Juan, about following the rules, but when you have men and women in uniform saying the rules have gotten so out of control that we can't do what you're training us to do. That becomes a problem

WILLIAMS: But I don't think it's about, you know, like being on the battlefield and saying I'm coming across somebody who has not been labeled as an enemy, and therefore I can eliminate this person legally. And that's the way they're supposed to operate. This is talking about someone who is a prisoner and you decide I'm taking him out and shooting him.

PERINO: I won't say who it is but I talked to a congressman today who has served and he thinks that this is a travesty that he's being -- basically - - being gone -- going through the ringer again because he'd already gone through it before --

WATTERS: Double jeopardy.

PERINO: Thank you, Jesse. I was looking for that word, double jeopardy.

GUTFELD: Great game.

PERINO: Thank you.

GUTFELD: You did well on that, didn't you?

PERINO: I did terrible on that. I was leading going into the commercial break.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: President Trump introducing new recommendations to make schools safer, what he's saying about arming teachers and a controversial Obama-era rule, that's next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: President Trump's school safety commission formed in the wake of the Parkland shooting, releasing its final report today addressing school violence across America, among the dozens of recommendations, giving states or local school districts the options to arm teachers and other school personnel. The president explaining some of the recommendations here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP: These include fixing mental health laws so that families and law enforcement can get treatment immediately to those who need it. Allowing highly trained school personnel to have access to firearms. According to the department of homeland security, the average duration of an active shooter incident at a school is under 5 minutes. That is why it's critical to have armed personnel available at a moment's notice.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: So, Jedediah, the arms -- the guns thing, some people including some students at the school are saying, wait a second. We thought that the emphasis should be on keeping guns away from young people. The commission says, oh, oftentimes they get the guns from adults and the like, and they suggest giving guns to the teachers or the personnel. What do you think?

BILA: Keeping guns away from the bad guys is what we want. You know, I like the idea. Remember, that these people that are going to be trained, they're going to get background checks. You're not just handing guns to any old people. Oftentimes it's military vets or people that used to work in law enforcement that are retired that I think would be a great option for people to come to the school and protect it. I think it's important because a lot of these schools that are in very rural communities, they get really nervous about if you call. You know, we're use -- I'm used to living in the city. You call the police, you know, you think, OK, they're going to be here really quickly. If you're in a more remote area, if you call for assistance, by the time those people can get to you, a lot of damage can be done. So, you need to have people that are on those sites that are able to -- you know, that are trained and are able to do that. A lot of people say, oh, well, you know, the classroom is too chaotic an environment. It's not safe. I can say as having worked in a classroom it would make me feel really comfortable if I had people that were trained and were carrying so that I knew that if there was a bad guy with an agenda that had a plan to do damage that they would be able to protect me and the kids.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, another controversial element of the report was rescinding Obama-era guidelines that said, you know, we want to make sure that there isn't some kind of racial bias or bias against kids with disabilities in terms of school discipline. So, instead of suspending or throwing them out, which is what I think happened with this kid, Nikolas Cruz, that instead you would do things like counseling, therapy, support of the like. What do you think?

WATTERS: Well, I'm sensitive to -- if there's, you know, racial disparity in enforcing rules and they call it a school to prison pipeline, and I get that. But I think what happened is, is they took a bad situation and I think the mechanism they used to correct it overcorrected. So now you have -- you're selling drugs, you're punching people in the face, you're hurting girls, you're disruptive and disrespectful to the teacher, they don't do anything to you. What -- we have one teacher in South Carolina said, you have a kid who finds out that you can say F-you to the teacher, flip over the table, run out of the classroom, can't suspend them. So once the kid knows you can do that, they'll do anything. So all they're saying is instead of putting them into these diversion programs like they did with this guy in Broward County, maybe if he does something terribly wrong, you have to hit him with a criminal charge. And I think that's a good idea.

WILLIAMS: OK. And, Dana, what do you make of the idea that you would have such a recommendation about guns and discipline coming out of the Parkland shooting. It wasn't as if the shooter was some, you know, hard minority kid, thuggish kid or something. That's not what happened here. But it seemed like the president and Betsy DeVos have used this as a ground now to institute the policy.

PERINO: I don't think they used it. I think that it happens -- that they needed to do this report anyway. There was pressure on the administration to look at some of the things that Obama had done, and they decided to do something different.

And what I like about all of the report is that it's saying let local school districts decide. And I think that is where we need to be -- what we need to be doing, that those decisions are best made by the communities. And they know, as Jedediah was saying, some are rural communities. Some are urban communities. Let them decide. Including on discipline.

I picked this up. I printed it, and I will share with you, Juan, if you want. But USA Today had 15 teams, and -- reporters, and they went out, and they followed teachers for an entire day, one day in September all across the country. It is shocking what these teachers have to go through. They deserve a lot more of our support, financial support. Some of that's the case. But also safety, from outside the classroom and also from inside the classroom. There's problems, too.

So I'm all for this report. I think it's good that they put it out.

WILLIAMS: And the -- but the teachers and the parents, Greg, according to the polls, don't support arming people.

GUTFELD: I -- I've seen different statistics including in Parkland, that are welcoming a lot of these changes.

What I find interesting is that if you look on social media or if you just look at the media in general, how sanctimonious they were when they're saying, like, "no more thoughts and prayers." People would say, "It's time for action."

This is action. I mean, look -- it's multifaceted. Banning of bump stocks. We don't know if that's going to change anything. It wasn't in Parkland, but it was used in other crimes.

Then you've got psychiatric -- changes in psychiatric and counseling, things like that. You have the armed protection piece. And you're allowing the administration to act. See, the whole point of this other stuff. They're fearful of enforcing any laws, because they're afraid of being punished themselves for being racist or whatever. That doesn't have anything to do with this guy, except that it allowed him, the program allowed him to get away with it.

So what you're doing is, a lot of this stuff is based on research and not on emotion. No. 1, we know that deterrence works. Killers will choose a gun-free zone over the opposite. Any deviation from that is generally an accident. But they will -- if they see even an empty, parked cop car, they will drive by that. That's all you have to do.

And the length of a gun attack is mitigated by the appearance of a second gun. So when somebody shows up and knows how to use the gun, the incident shrinks.

So those are the facts that are based on this. And I think this is well- rounded. I think everybody gets something out of it. A lot a lot of gun- control people, they didn't like the bump stock stuff. We'll see if that helps. We -- then if you goe armed personnel that are trained, that will help.

So I think everybody gets something out of it. And it's -- people keep saying we have to act.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: We have to act. And I think that was the last thing? A judge ruled that police have no duty to shield students in the Parkland massacre. That was ruled. It's -- it's incumbent for you to be individually protected if that's the case.

WILLIAMS: But by the way, there was was a guy on site with a gun.

GUTFELD: Yes, but he didn't act.

WILLIAMS: Well, I'm just saying. He was there.

BILA: And one is not going to be enough.

WATTERS: And poorly trained.

WILLIAMS: Poorly trained, all right. But -- well, you heard it here.

GUTFELD: He didn't go in.

WILLIAMS: Well, but you know what? The thing is what you hear is that you're going to have more incidents of people using guns improperly if there are more guns in a school --

GUTFELD: There's no science --

WILLIAMS: -- where kids act up. Kids are kids.

GUTFELD: There's no science behind that. No science.

BILA: Not if they're trained.

WILLIAMS: All right. Up next, my professor, Greg Gutfeld --

GUTFELD: Yes!

WILLIAMS: -- offers his sage advice for how you can avoid embarrassing yourself at an office Christmas party. Very relevant to this group tonight.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

WILLIAMS: Straight ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: So our Christmas party is tonight. We were going to call it holiday celebration, but we're not wimps. It's Christmas.

Now, since I'm old, I've been asked how does one survive such events? My advice: Be the least memorable person in the room. Don't try to be witty. Don't dance. Don't decide it's time to give Mabel -- Mabel -- some helpful advice about her breath.

Now about the drinking. The older you are, the less you should drink. With one caveat: if you're in your 20s, right, you can have six drinks.

BILA: Six drinks!

GUTFELD: Yes. Absolutely. Because I'll tell you later. In your 30s, you can have four. In your 40s, it's three. In your 50s, two. If you're in your 60s, you pay for the party, and you stay home.

WILLIAMS: Is that right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But if you're in your 70s and 80s, you can drink all you want.

Here's why. Young people can drink more, because it's their nightly routine. It's all they do. They're the pros. However, middle-aged drunks think booze makes them young again. So they always wake up next to Human Resources.

As for the old folks, you've earned the right to cut loose. Steal an ashtray. No one's watching, sadly.

Now, you'll be among people you'll see next year and they'll remember everything you do. So don't remove your pants and dive into a snow bank. It took me years to live that down.

Plus, everything is recorded now. The Uber driver sees all and will post it. Remember that. Stupid stuff lives forever, and the Christmas party's where stupid can really shine.

My advice: drink water, become best friends with a house plant, and maintain a ruthless stoicism in the face of all flirtation. Boil down to two words. Be Pence. Be Pence, and you'll be safe. True, you will be the most boring person on earth. Or maybe people will think you're stoned. But when you sober up, you'll still have a job.

You know, Juan.

WILLIAMS: What?

WATTERS: Juan is paying for the party.

WILLIAMS: Yes, because I'm 60 -- I will be 65 next year. I can't even have a drink.

GUTFELD: No, it's for -- these things are for people in their 20s and maybe 30s. Right? Isn't it really? Because, like, they're -- it's for the single people to get drunk and have fun. We just have to sit there.

WILLIAMS: Now wait. Wait, wait, wait. I thought you gave me something to look forward to. That when I hit 70 and then 80 --

GUTFELD: But you know what? Because nobody cares about us then. We can just sit there -- unless you own the company. If you own the company and you're in your 70s, everybody is like this. But if you're just 70, they're like, "Ehhh."

WATTERS: I mean, we used to have legendary parties here back in the day around Christmas. We had an ice luge at one party. I called the police want time to report something missing. I wore a Santa suit one time. We had dance offs. We had awards shows. We had --

GUTFELD: Where was this?

WATTERS: -- private videos.

WILLIAMS: Where was this?

WATTERS: Here!

GUTFELD: Oh, at Fox?

WATTERS: Yes! Legendary parties back in the day. Now they're just tame. Now, I'm hosting this one at my place. And I'm thinking about canceling it. Because it's going to be boring, because you have all these rules, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: I don't have rules. I'm just trying to help.

PERINO: I thought they were pretty lenient rules.

GUTFELD: Yes, they're pretty --

PERINO: I would never, ever tell -- young women in your 20s, do not drink six drinks at parties. Do not.

GUTFELD: Have you seen -- women can drink.

WATTERS: Yes, here's the headline. Gutfeld says, "Women in their 20s at Fox, drink six drinks at my Christmas party."

GUTFELD: It was a generic. And I didn't say what kind of drinks. They could be nonalcoholic, Jedediah.

PERINO: That's fine.

GUTFELD: I meant six nonalcoholic. Thanks, Jesse.

WATTERS: Nice recovery.

BILA: The problem with the drinks, too, is like I'm a talker. So then you reveal all the stuff you're not supposed to say, your life story. And then you forget that you told that person, and you show up to work; and they're like -- oh, what are you talking about?

GUTFELD: Yes, that is so true.

BILA: Right?

GUTFELD: You know the worst person ever? This happened last year. I don't know if you remember this. The person who uses a Christmas party to network. Do you remember that?

BILA: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: Remember who I'm talking about?

PERINO: No.

GUTFELD: The kid with the cards.

PERINO: The intern?

GUTFELD: Yes. Brought business cards.

PERINO: That wasn't last year, was it?

GUTFELD: Maybe it's two years.

PERINO: It was a while ago. No, no, yes. He was a real -- he worked the system.

GUTFELD: I think I pulled him aside and I said, "Stop giving your cards out to people."

WATTERS: Yes, but now he's an executive.

GUTFELD: Yes, he's actually my boss.

BILA: So it worked.

GUTFELD: Yes, well, you know what? It's not for you.

PERINO: The thing about our party is that you cannot agree on a music selection.

GUTFELD: That's true.

PERINO: Right? It's like you can't go to -- from death metal to country to whatever it is Jesse's week is to --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Tom Petty, baby.

PERINO: Oh, yes, that's actually not bad.

BILA: Can I ask you guys this, though? Do you think it makes the party better or worse, safer or not, to have the significant others, the wives and husbands? See, I think that's how you make it safe.

GUTFELD: No.

BILA: Is that people behave better.

GUTFELD: No.

BILA: You're like "No"? No?

GUTFELD: No, no, no, no, no.

WATTERS: Because you just don't want to pay extra if that's how we're going to have it.

GUTFELD: It's too expensive.

PERINO: The whole time you have to be like, "Oh, and Peter, this is Jason. Jason wrote some" -- blah, blah, blah. And then basically, you're working, and you don't get a chance to actually just --

GUTFELD: Yes. And my spouse hates everybody at Fox. Just hates --

PERINO: Hey!

GUTFELD: I'm joking. Maybe. I don't know.

PERINO: I think you're joking.

GUTFELD: It's -- it's a cost issue. I -- but I think the most important point here is about the Uber thing. Everybody talks about --

PERINO: What are you talking about? They take pictures of you?

GUTFELD: No, I'm -- well, they have a camera on there. And all the people who get in trouble on Uber are drunk, right? They're always in the back, yelling at the poor driver.

We think that at the party, it's the problem. It's when you leave.

PERINO: Leave, yes.

GUTFELD: And you're like -- you're like, "Hey!" and you get in a -- you start berating a taxi: "How come" -- you know, that kind of thing.

PERINO: True.

BILA: It's different now, though.

WILLIAMS: I think drinking and driving is a problem.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: In New York, it's -- but it's easier now to not drink and drive.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But not if you're -- even in the suburbs in some cases. And I mean, in the restaurant industry, of course, is concerned about this, because they don't -- they have a high profit margin on selling alcohol. But I think, you know, it's damaging.

GUTFELD: Uber is everywhere.

BILA: That's true.

WILLIAMS: I don't know. I hope it's everywhere. By the way, my wife, because I had to go to a lot of parties in Washington for many years, just stopped going.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: You know why?

PERINO: Good advice.

WILLIAMS: And you know why she stopped? Because she said she would go up and people would meet her, famous people and they'd say, "What do you do?" And she'd say, "I'm just -- you don't need to talk to me. I'm Juan's wife."

GUTFELD: That's --

WILLIAMS: And then they would be looking over her shoulder.

GUTFELD: You know what? That's the same thing -- that's Elena, has had that experience. And it's like "I design. I'm a fashion designer."

WILLIAMS: Exactly.

GUTFELD: "Screw yourself."

WILLIAMS: "I don't need this."

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: "So what if you're president?"

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

Up next, why witches are fuming over Trump's favorite line of attack on the Mueller probe, ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: The witch hunt as I call it.

You know I call it a witch hunt, and it is a witch hunt.

How long has this witch hunt gone on?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BILA: President Trump's frequent nickname for the Mueller investigation is upsetting actual witches. The witch community now furious with the president and, dare we say, is flying off the broom handle. Many are now complaining Trump is demonizing and marginalizing the so-called minority group by bringing up its painful history.

Now, Juan, the witches are saying, "Listen, there was a time in political history when we were hunted down. We were killed for being witches. This is bringing up a painful memory." Do they have a point?

WILLIAMS: You know, I don't -- I don't -- I didn't -- I don't -- I was in Seattle the other day --

PERINO: He's speechless.

WATTERS: Are you a witch?

WILLIAMS: I was in Seattle the other day, walking down the street, and there are people who were a coven, I guess, Jedediah. I was so lacking in sympathy. I was a little afraid of them, you know.

But anyway, I guess that, you know, they have something to say; and I understand that they have now cast a spell --

BILA: A few of them, yes.

WILLIAMS: -- on President Trump. Because they said if it was an actual witch hunt, he would have been -- would be on a beam in some kind of farm house --

BILA: Yes.

WILLIAMS: -- that was cold and killed. And that's how they treated witches in the old days. But instead, he's going down to Mar-a-Lago for Christmas.

BILA: Yes. I mean, I wouldn't want to --

WILLIAMS: For 16 days.

BILA: I wouldn't want to anger the witches, Jesse.

WILLIAMS: No.

BILA: That's just not -- I wouldn't want them casting a spell on me. But they make the bigger argument, of course, that they're a minority group and, like other minority groups that Trump has been antagonistic towards, they're speaking for other people and broadening it out. What do you think?

WATTERS: Yes. Well, we'll have a witch on "Watters' World" this weekend this weekend to respond to some of these new claims.

GUTFELD: Excellent.

WATTERS: You think I'm kidding. I'm not.

GUTFELD: No, I know you're not.

WATTERS: Sadly, I'm not.

You know, I'm very vexed by this whole situation. The president has conjured up a lot of wicked language to describe Mueller, the special counsel's cauldron. It's been brewing for almost two years. And I'm sure Trump just wishes he can wave his magic wand and make Mueller disappear. I mean, even the left's spellbound at how this has lasted so long. You have 13 angry Democrats exposing the dark underbelly of the Trump campaign, warts and all. I think clearly, Trump just believes he's cursed by Jeff Sessions recusing himself.

WILLIAMS: Was that Greg? I think -- I think Greg is having an impact on you.

WATTERS: I know. I'm hanging out at this table for too long.

PERINO: You had a little extra time today.

WATTERS: So well-prepared.

PERINO: You haven't done that for a while. I like that.

WATTERS: Only once in a while.

PERINO: Especially because it makes Greg laugh.

BILA: That's true. You know, I've anticipated a lot of things with this administration, but the witch community coming out like this, I didn't see this coming.

GUTFELD: All right.

WATTERS: Some of them are good people.

GUTFELD: There is a bit of cultural appropriation going here in the progressive modern witch community. The witches that were burned at the state, 50,000 were burned or drowned. They were not a protected class. They were not cool or hip. They were falsely accused of being witches. That's the history, and they died. It's a terrible -- it's a terrible part of our history. It happened in America. What was it, around the 1600s? I don't know. But I think overall, including Europe, it was like 50,000 people.

So I think that witches should be actually fighting a real battle about -- over freedom to speak, freedom to practice religion, to exercise your beliefs rather than this silly stuff.

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute. Somebody doesn't let them practice? I thought - - I see them --

GUTFELD: No, I'm just saying for everybody else, they should be standing up for everybody else's rights to speak.

WATTERS: But you took this segment seriously.

GUTFELD: Yes, I did.

BILA: He did. He really did.

GUTFELD: I did.

WATTERS: He put a brain room request in on witch deaths.

GUTFELD: Yes, I did. You know, Wikipedia just makes me slightly smarter.

BILA: Dana, any last thoughts on witches?

PERINO: Well, I think that they could use it to their advantage. Right? The more he says witch hunt, the more possibility they have for branding. And I mean, a lot of people, they could turn this into a positive. If they were smart.

BILA: That's true. Maybe they will.

WILLIAMS: Maybe they could wiggle their noses, and it would just go away.

GUTFELD: I loved Elizabeth Montgomery.

BILA: There are good witches, too. Everybody thinks --

PERINO: Good witches.

GUTFELD: Elizabeth Montgomery, had that crush when I was a kid.

BILA: Yes, a lot of people did. Glinda, the good witch in "The Wizard of Oz."

GUTFELD: Not crazy about her.

BILA: I was a big fan. All right. "One More Thing" is coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Time now for "One More Thing." Do you guys remember that David Schwimmer lookalike that got caught stealing beer in Britain?

PERINO: The Jesse Watters lookalike?

WATTERS: Yes, kind of looked like me, everybody said? Well, here's the deal.

GRAPHIC: Jesse holding a case of lite beer.

WATTERS: No, no! Producers, very funny. It's not me.

This guy, Abdulah Husseni, is in trouble with the police over there. He skipped out on his court appearance. There he is.

BILA: Wow.

WATTERS: That does not look like me.

GUTFELD: Yes, it does.

WATTERS: That's definitely Schwimmer.

PERINO: It does look like Schwimmer.

WATTERS: It's definitely Schwimmer. So he faces charges of theft and fraud. So he's on the loose. A Schwimmer/Watters lookalike is on the loose. Call your local authorities. Dana.

PERINO: You should have him on the show this weekend.

WATTERS: I should.

GUTFELD: Yes, with the witch.

WATTERS: After the witch or before?

PERINO: I think after. A draw.

WATTERS: You know what? I'll tee up Schwimmer. I'll tee Schwimmer and have the witch hunt.

PERINO: Exactly. Exactly.

All right. Over the weekend, surfer Kelly Slater pulled this off. Watch this. It's called the Houdini Tube Ride. After falling off his board but getting back on it mid-wave and finishing out.

WATTERS: What?

PERINO: So he is apparently amazing, and this doesn't usually happen. This is at the Billabong Pipe Masters in Hawaii and, despite his miraculous move, however, Slater couldn't make it out of the semifinals this year. But this is what amazes me. He's 46.

GUTFELD: Dana, he's like -- he's the greatest surfer that probably is living right now, Kelly Slater.

PERINO: Well, yes.

WATTERS: He's like the Jesse Watters of surfing.

GUTFELD: He's been surfing since he was two.

PERINO: Well, don't you think it's impressive he can still do that?

GUTFELD: I -- 46 is young for a surfer.

WILLIAMS: What?

PERINO: Is it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Greg, can you swim?

GUTFELD: No. And I was a lifeguard. I don't even know what --

WATTERS: Wow, I feel sorry for that pool. All right, Greg, you're up.

GUTFELD: I was a pool monitor, so legally, I wasn't allowed to save people. Isn't that amazing?

All right. It's time for --

WATTERS: A whole nother story.

GUTFELD: -- yes.

GRAPHIC: Greg's The True Meaning of Christmas

GUTFELD: "Greg's the True Meaning of Christmas." A lot of people think I'm a grinch, but I'm not. I do find special moments in the holiday season that make me smile.

One of the things I love to do is to understand what it's like to be a Christmas tree, like this young man did. As you see him now run and dive through a --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(MAN DIVES THROUGH CHRISTMAS TREE PACKAGING MACHINE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BILA: Whoa!

WATTERS: Awesome!

GUTFELD: That was a Christmas tree packaging machine, and he actually got wrapped up with the tree --

PERINO: Wow.

GUTFELD: -- which in some states is considered deviant. We -- we don't condone this. Do not replicate this in your Christmas tree lot that many people have.

PERINO: We should try this. Let's try this at our Christmas party tonight. I'm going to run you through.

GUTFELD: Exactly, exactly.

WATTERS: That was a good "One More Thing."

GUTFELD: Thank you very much. I've got the "Animals are Great."

WATTERS: Don't ruin it with that.

Juan Williams.

WILLIAMS: All right. At Fox news, we report, you decide. So take a look at the story of a secret Santa gift exchange. Here are the basics of the story.

A woman receives a blanket and chocolate as a secret Santa gift from a coworker. Now, take a look at how she responds in this text message.

That's right. She Googled the price of the chocolate and the blanket.

GUTFELD: Wow.

WILLIAMS: It added up to 30 bucks. Then she gets upset, because the spending limit was $50. She then asks the gift giver, her co-worker, to give her something else, give her more, even give her the added 20 bucks. She even said, "Why not buy me a $120 computer tablet?"

Well, the coworker refused on both fronts.

PERINO: Oh, my gosh.

WILLIAMS: Who's right? Who's wrong? In this modern tale of Christmas conflict, I say this woman ends up on Santa's naughty list. But we report, you decide.

What do you say, Jesse.

WATTERS: I say top that, Jedediah.

BILA: Well, I've got some baby humans. One of my -- two things I love most, everybody knows, baby animals and baby humans. Today we have some baby humans.

The Oak Ridge Fire Department, cutest picture ever, in Tennessee, welcomes six new babies within a nine-month period. Two boys, four girls. Mason, Evelyn, Ezekiel, Wayland, Henry and Blaine. Fire department posted the photos to Facebook, and they wrote, "From the month of March until the month of November, the Oak Ridge Fire Department has welcomed six new members to our family. We're beyond excited. Congratulations."

GUTFELD: Looks like they were starting some fires.

BILA: Yes, they were.

GUTFELD: Know what I'm saying?

WATTERS: Yes. Nine months ago.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BILA: But look how cute they are. There's something about babies and small animals that --

GUTFELD: Really, do you find that? I've never heard that before. You think babies and puppies are adorable? That's never crossed anybody's mind.

BILA: I know. Listen, I break news every day.

GUTFELD: I've never seen calendars with puppies.

WATTERS: You know what? Can we show Greg's guy running through the Christmas tree netting thing again, producers? I think the audience deserves another -- there we go.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(MAN DIVES THROUGH CHRISTMAS TREE PACKAGING MACHINE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Whoa!

GUTFELD: Now that's cute. Don't do that, people.

WATTERS: That is good.

BILA: I'll give you five bucks if you do that tonight.

WATTERS: Now we're all going to go to the Christmas party at my apartment complex.

PERINO: Some of us will be here tomorrow.

WATTERS: Yes. You'll know who.

All right. Set your DVRs, never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report" is up next with Bret.

BRET BAIER, HOST: Thanks, Jesse. Have fun.

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