Gutfeld: What have we learned from the Kavanaugh hearings?

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Gutfeld: What have we learned from the Kavanaugh hearings?

I believe they believe their stories.

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," September 29, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHRIS CUOMO, ANCHOR, CNN: There's a lot to digest and we're chewing on all of it for you, so what do you say, let's get after it.

Noel Francisco, great name. However no early Christmas present for Noel.

Should I stay or should I go? No Joe Strummer sadly, but the clash between Rosenstein and Trump is in full effect.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: That Noel joke was the worst thing ever written, but don't ever bring the clash into your sick ugly game, you freak.

So pretty slow news week. I know, I know. We want to talk about the big story. It all unfolded on Thursday and it was pretty explosive.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: HR is going to send someone up to interview as your new secretary.

MURPHY BROWN, FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Oh, goodie. I haven't had one of those in a while.

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER FIRST LADY: Hello. I'm here to interview for the secretarial position.

BROWN: Hillary?

H. CLINTON: Yes, Hillary, Hilary Clinton.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. Hillary was on "Murphy Brown." Good for her, I say. If you can't be president, then do cameos on [bleep] rehashed sitcoms. Hey, in a year, who bets she ends up as the next Colonel Sanders?

Yes, yes, yes. I know something else happened. But we're going to get to the Kavanaugh stuff in the next segment. You can wait. But first, let's dig into a nice big healthy ...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Bucket of Trump.

GUTFELD: Yes, bucket of Trump. So now that Donald Trump has made America great again. He's going to make the world a better place, too. But is the world ready for that? Here's Trump pulling a Gordon Ramsay at the UN about to tell them that their menu sucks.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: My administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country. America is so true. I didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Laugh if you must, you small meaningless bureaucrats. What have you done lately besides boozing on our dime and chasing hookers? Love it or hate it, Trump is the leader of the free world and he's ready to give the planet a little tough love.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy if it does not immediately change course.

Moving forward, we are only going to give foreign aid to those who respect us.

OPEC nations are as usual ripping off the rest of the world, and I don't like it. Nobody should like it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Nobody should like it. He's like the American Santa. He's telling the world who has been naughty and nice, but everybody's naughty. Everybody on his list is naughty. And he's just getting started.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: I don't like what's happening in Cuba, and I certainly don't like what's happening in Venezuela. Iran is going to come back to me and they are going to make a good deal, I think, maybe not, you never know. Yemen is a mess. Syria is a mess. Not happy with OPEC. I like china, and I like President Xi a lot. I think he's a friend of mine. He may not be a friend of mine anymore.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He's got an opinion on everyone. To him earth is just another location for celebrity apprentice. Cuba you're fired. And of course there's that relationship with China. They flirt. They play hard to get. It is like a geopolitical version of Ross and Rachel from "Friends."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: He was saying that China has total respect for Donald Trump and for Donald Trump's very, very large brain.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: For a minute there, for a minute there, you thought it wasn't going to be brain. That pause he did was amazing. And who could forget the letter, the magnificent letters?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: He said this is actually a ground breaking letter. This is an incredible - this is a historic letter. He wrote me two of the most beautiful letters. I have received two letters from Chairman Kim. They are incredible letters. They are letters that are magnificent.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That is some letter. I think it was the letters, D and T, and boy he gave it to the Kurds.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Excuse me, you said from where?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Rudhami Danis (ph), sir from Kurdistan region, north of Iraq. I'm a Kurd.

TRUMP: Good, good, great people.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you, sir.

TRUMP: Great people. Thank you. are you a Kurd?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Are you a Kurd? I'm just going to ask that to everybody. And even Canada didn't get out without a kick in the cranberries.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Did you reject a one-on-one meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?

TRUMP: Yes, I did.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why ?

TRUMP: Because his tariffs are too high and he doesn't seem to want to move and I told him to forget about it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Forget about it. It's like he's talking to his plumber. And not an actual world leader, well, Canada, anyway. So who's great now?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: You know who's great now? We're great now.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's right, which is why he's now into changing the world. Like a real estate developer from Queens, he's done with one project, the United States, and he's moving on to another. And get this, this is really, really important, none of this stuff he's talking about involves military force and shouldn't that be something that lefties embrace and love about this guy? Instead of flexing military muscle, he toys with the failing ""New York Times"." Stand up, go ahead.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: The failing "New York Times" stand up, go ahead. I think ABC, CBS, NBC, "The Times" - they are all going to endorse me because if they don't, they're going out of business. Can you imagine if they didn't have me?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: No, we can't imagine that at all. So all in all, he realizes for America to be greater, you know, earth needs a little work, too. And he's willing to lead the enterprise peacefully. What could be the possibilities?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Get ready for the most globally electrifying event ever.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's Trump versus the UN world reboot Awesomization Extravaganza.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He's made America great and now Donald the diplomatic mastermind Trump is taking the battle international by improving those stupid rocks on Easter Island, turning Siberia into a meat locker for Trump steaks, adding pants from Michaelangelo's David, mopping up Venice, replacing windmills in Holland with coal mines, making Big Ben a digital clock, fitting Mount Everest with an escalator, decorating the Great Wall of China with Bob Ross painting, plus he's fixing the leaning tower of Pisa with a team of non-union construction workers.

And don't miss the all-American finale, will Trump finally fix the broken Liberty Bell or put a more awesome face on Mount Rushmore? Get your tickets now to find out. The first 100 guests get column from the Parthenon signed by Donald Trump.

It is the Trump versus the UN world reboot awesomization extravaganza.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. She's so bright the north star calls her for advice, attorney and Trump campaign advisory board member Madison Gesiotto. He's so smart it hurts. "Washington Times" opinion editor and Fox News contributor, Charlie Hurt. She's so bright she moonlights as moonlight, "National Review" reporter Kat Timpf, and his neighbors all have earthquake insurance. Former WWE superstar, my massive sidekick Tyrus.

GUTFELD: Charles, it's so interesting when there are people talking about that press conference and they act like it is some kind of weird freak show, and I'm looking at it, and I'm going I'm watching a guy with an incredibly nimble mind bounce all over every single issue and talk about fixing them as though it's a construction project.

CHARLES HURT, OPINION EDITOR, WASHINGTON TIMES: Yes, and not only that, but also, I mean, the guy's comedic timing is just - it is killer. When he did the thing about talking about how great the administration is, and everybody laughed, and in this room everybody laughed, they laughed at the exact right time, the guy totally gets it. It's that humor that - and of course all these despots in the world - in the room who got it just proving that of course the press has less of a sense of humor than despots around the world.

But the other thing is that basically, the attack on Donald Trump right now is that he's not perfect. That's what upsets them. So when he goes and he talks - and meets with Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-il, the complaint is you haven't gotten peace fast enough. Absolutely, the guy can't win. They constantly - they did this throughout the campaign and they are continuing to do it. They constantly move the goal post form him.

GUTFELD: Charlie brings up a good point which is rare, Madison. The media is wrong about Trump because they think that the world finds him comical or weird, but I have a theory that a lot of the world isn't like Manhattan. The world is pretty old school alpha. They are like 30 years, 40 years back when people - when the world leaders were like Trump. So he's kind of entertaining and refreshing or something. That's my theory. Feel free to ignore it and answer the only question that might be in your mind.

MADISON GESIOTTO, TRUMP CAMPAIGN ADVISORY BOARD MEMBER: I mean, I think he was very funny at his press conference. I think he's hilarious a lot of the times. But I think he's very successful and that's the thing that the media fails to report on

Look at everything that he did throughout the UN this week. It was an extremely successful week. They signed a revised trade agreement with South Korea, opened trade talks with Japan. Of course going after China who no president before in 25 years has really gone after for their unfair trade practices. They said, you know. he could never have peace in certain areas, guess what? Look what he's doing with North Korea. It's only the beginning there. And so I think people are just ignoring the fact that he's been extremely successful, judging him on words instead of actions and results.

GUTFELD: Okay, Kat, he's not a neocon. This has got - I mean, let's face it, he's changing the world without bombs. And I mean that's kind of what I would call progress, maybe?

KAT TIMPF, REPORTER, NATIONAL REVIEW: That's one of the things that I do like about him is that he tends to want to use diplomacy and talking and making deals rather than just going to war with everyone. I thought that was something that was very interesting in the general election. He was running against Hilary Clinton even though she was a Democrat, she was a neo Democrat. So she certainly would have gone - I think we would be at war right now in places that we're not at war if we had had Hillary Clinton as president instead of Donald Trump.

GUTFELD: Probably with Canada.

TIMPF: We might be at war with Canada.

GUTFELD: Yes, Australia. any thoughts?

HURT: And think about what is the one time the establishment applauded Donald Trump? It's when he bombed Syria. It's the only time they've ever like him.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. They love a good bomb.

TIMPF: I do not care for that.

GUTFELD: You did not care for that.

TIMPF: I did not care for that. Anything else? Any thoughts?

TIMPF: I mean, o want to talk about Ross and Rachel again.

GUTFELD: Okay, go ahead.

TIMPF: I just don't think it should have taken that long for them to work it out.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think that is true. That's almost getting a smattering of applause.

TIMPF: They were on a break.

GUTFELD: Tyrus ...

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FORMER WWW SUPERSTAR: I love it when he speaks to the world, when he gives his speeches, a lot like someone who just beat the rap on a case, and everyone who testified against him is at the barbecue and he just showed up. He knows everyone of them, "I know what everyone of you did, but I'm here." And so, the laughing is a lot of nervous laughing.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

MURDOCH: He's coming from a place of power and I think he's probably one of the - I can't remember a President who chose to use it. Like listen to me when I speak.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And if you don't, you're going to wish you had. It's very underlying. He kind of talks in a way very similar like when someone borrows money from me and they don't pay it back.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.

MURDOCH: He appeals to your senses, like say, for example, Joe you like walking. Joe will say yes I do. Well, for you to continue to do so, you need to pay me the money I lent you plus 10%. That is how he talks to the world, and I think they get it. Joe got it.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, Joe got it. Is he walking?

MURDOCH: Joe? He will be fine.

GUTFELD: He's healing nicely in an undisclosed location. All right, coming up, did anything else happen this week? I don't think so.

So what have we learned from the Kavanaugh hearings? Christine Blasey Ford's testimony was compelling, but it was also confusing. At times it was like watching "People's Court," Rachel Mitchell asking direct questions, getting direct answers, and just when it was getting somewhere, the Democrats would start talking. We'd go from a procedural line of fact finding to high emotional drama. But then this guy broke through.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LINDSEY GRAHAM, US SENATOR, SOUTH CAROLINA, REPUBLICAN: I would never do to them what you have done to this guy. This is the most unethical sham since I've been in politics. This is not a job interview. This is hell. This is going to destroy the ability of good people to come forward because of this crap.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He reminds me of when I'm at the rental car counter and I wanted the convertible Sebring, but they didn't have any convertibles, but that was amazing. Anyway, but at the end of this, did we learn any new facts about a 35-year-old incident? Look, I still don't know what happened. I didn't go to school with Kavanaugh or Ford. Will an FBI investigation give us more answers? I don't know. But I believe that they believe their stories.

So here's what I do know, political tribalism now includes public acts of personal destruction. it is ghoulish. The Democrats could have avoided this show trial by acting immediately when they first got the letter instead of sitting on it which led to a twisted circus that ruined reputations, humiliated victims and their families.

The lesson in politics, collateral damage is now totally acceptable. Who cares if you destroy a family or two, you still blocked that seat, good for you. We looked hard to find a group of people more civil than the hearings. Here's what we found.

Maybe it is not so bad, but maybe Michael Moore was right after all. Time to move to Canada.

What are your thoughts about the hearings in general? Obviously, they are doing a week-long FBI investigation. General thoughts on this, Madison, as a lawyer?

GESIOTTO: I think Lindsey Graham really did say it best when he said you want a fair process, you came to the wrong town at the wrong time, my friend. I think that's really what's come down to. Nothing about this has been fair. You wouldn't be able to get a search warrant or an arrest warrant for something like this. And we have an FBI investigation, of course taxpayer money is funding that. And this is something that we're not going to have any more answers on in a week from now. I would bet my life on that. We're not going to have any more information.

They are saying they are going to interview Mr. Judge. He already presented his statement under penalty of perjury. So, I don't think he's going to change his story, that would be insane.

GUTFELD: Yes, Tyrus, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think the testimony changed any minds?

MURDOCH: No, I think that's the issue we have in this country now. Nobody's minds are being changed period on anything. I don't think either way both people were credible. I think the crime is that they just happened to be involved with our Senate. I think that's the issue. I think that's the issue. I think that if never there was a time now for term limits on the Senate, it is now.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Whether you're a Republican or a Democrat, enough. The fact in this country that we have 51 to 50 votes. That we have all Democrats on one side - that's not what you were elected for. Your job was to get the best deal for the American people, not your own thing. And all we're seeing even after today when the deal was made basically we're going to pass him through, rightfully so, because we don't have enough evidence to say otherwise, and we're going to still do an FBI investigation.

So the right thing to do for the Democrats is a show of good faith for meeting them meeting them halfway was to vote yes. We all agree we're going to vote him through and then we're going to investigate it. That would have been a message to the American people like these guys get it, but no, that's not what they really want.

Because it is not about that. It is the Civil War in the Senate that we have to deal with. It has nothing to do with whether this woman was assaulted or not. That's why they won't commit to one side or the other. We believe both people but I have to say no. I believe both, but I have to say yes.

The Senate is disgraceful and we should - regardless of your party affiliation, enough is enough, we need to start getting new Republicans in there and new Democrats in there and independents in there and people who are actually going to work for the people and not their self. It was disgraceful.

GUTFELD: Kat, your thoughts on this?

TIMPF: My thoughts?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I don't know. I don't know. I know that that is going to be a huge disappointment for all of the certainly millions if trillions of people who watch me and just - and they decide what to think based on what I think because they admire me so much.

MURDOCH: Oh I've seen it.

TIMPF: Yes, but I really just don't - I don't know. I wasn't there. I don't know. I wonder ...

GUTFELD: Do you know, Kat?

TIMPF: Same as last week, I feel like I'm wandering around in a forest and I see all these people on both sides who claim to know for sure and they are so rawr about it on both sides and I think that a lot of people are deciding based on partisanship. They are not deciding based on the facts because based on the facts, how could you know.

GUTFELD: No one will ever know.

TIMPF: No one will ever know.

GUTFELD: And I'm telling you, the one thing I have learned, Charlie is that nature of memory is imperfect and we are - I do believe that they believe their stories and both stories are probably flawed. But I don't know to echo Kat, but I do think that the progress that we're making is in the area of understanding memory over time, that we have to start thinking about like what is true in somebody's head is not true in somebody else's.

HURT: I don't trust my memory from this morning.

GUTFELD: Neither do I.

HURT: Much less last week.

GUTFELD: I had to tell you to put on pants.

HURT: And I don't even do any drugs anymore.

GUTFELD: Yes. Anymore. It's been three weeks.

HURT: But no, I would say actually, I did change my mind listening to the testimony. Going in, I thought that Dr. Ford was a political - I thought she was politically motivated. I thought she was trying to take out this guy and doing everything that she could to just - because you know, the first time she ever uttered his name to anybody was after he had been floated as a potential Supreme Court nominee.

Listening to her testimony, I found it riveting and I found it totally believable and I came away thinking, my goodness obviously this woman is not what I thought she was. But at the end of the day, not to do exactly what Tyrus said, he's sick and tired of, but then you listen to Brett Kavanaugh and what he said, and I totally believed him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: And at that point, you can't prove it. You can't know, so all you can do then is evaluate all the other evidence.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: And when you evaluate all the other evidence, no rational person can come down on any decisions but that they didn't prove their case.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: But one thing that I would say that is different today and I think it is a very good thing in America, that is different today, 30 years ago - or 20 years ago, Bill Clinton would have sent his war dogs out to call her trailer trash and say that oh yes, you can bring - you know, you can get anybody to say anything, if you just drag a $20.00 bill through a trailer park. That's not acceptable now.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

HURT: And this woman was whether Republican, Democrat, by and large, you can't find a single person on the Republican side who trashed her or did anything but said, we want to hear her out. And it was totally respectful. And that is a tremendous improvement over the Clinton years when Paula Jones was called trailer trash and a liar.

GUTFELD: Right.

MURDOCH: I have a question, Greg. You never get asked questions but I have question for you besides the fact you are always negative to me on the monologue, but forget that. Is it possible because it always goes back to the leak for me real quick?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Is it possible that Feinstein sat on this because she didn't think it had enough credibility?

GUTFELD: Feinstein is denying it that she leaked it. She then looked to her staff and the staff said, "We didn't do it." But we don't know that. So she seems to be saying that maybe the victim leaked it so she is throwing the victim under the bus. It's all a mess. But we have got to move on. Still to come, Uncle Sam wants to help you get a bigger airline seat. Isn't that exciting?

Should the government take the broom to crappy legroom? The House passed a 2,000-page bill that would require the FAA to make some changes to the way we fly, including minimum requirements for seat sizes and legroom, Tyrus, because let's face it, airline seats are getting tighter than bike shorts on a hippo. Trust me, my hippo hates putting them on, but I love watching him take them off. Enough with the hippo stuff. Legroom is shrinking. Even I have noticed and I don't have that much leg.

Now, I know we're a very divided nation, but we can all agree flying sucks. But should government be in charge of this? If they think they can handle legroom, why not the slapped ass boarding process or the super tiny bathrooms. I can't even read in there. Try to read the "Wall Street Journal" your hands - try it like that, it is impossible. Or the food. Yes, let's talk about the food. Here's a video I took of my flight attendant trying to cook my eggs.

Oh man, I burned my mouth on that. All right. I have to go to you Tyrus, for no apparent reason.

MURDOCH: I don't know why you sizist pig. Hey everybody, Greg has a hard time fitting in the bathroom at the airplane, does anybody really feel sorry for him? But for real, he can live in that as an apartment. Listen, this is a serious thing.

GUTFELD: Do you want government intervention?

MURDOCH: You want to be quiet because this is serious. If this was an issue about having a little thing to help you sit with your feet right on the toilet, I would not talk bad about you.

GUTFELD: Potty pal.

MURDOCH: Yes, if it was about potty pals, I would be quiet and respectful of your plight that your feet don't touch the ground when you use the bathroom. I get it. But this is - thank you. How dare you? I have actual footage of me suffering in an airplane. I know it would take two of your feet to be one in one of my shoes. Look at that. By the way, the evasive bastard who took that picture was none other than Greg Gutfeld. No privacy. Lok at that, that's first - if someone's like, you, Fox doesn't fly you first class? That is first class.

He even wants to show the way I sleep. Most people - look at that, I have to lean to the side. It's brutal. So normally, like my libertarian friend, Kat over here, I don't like government or nothing, but if Uncle Sam has got to get in to get out of the jam, I'm with it. Help me out.

GUTFELD: All right. That's -- Kat, and I can't be a hypocrite about libertarian beliefs as you know, I hate big government unless they do things that I like. So what about you?

TIMPF: I'm not a hypocrite. I think that if an airline wanted to exist where they just like stack people on each other's laps and it was cheaper, I think that would be a great alternative. I think they should be able to do whatever you want. I think you should be able to fly people in planes without seats where you just meander about and vape. I think that that should be allowed.

I don't like that the government tells me that I have to put on my seat belts because of the turbulence. I'm ass grown woman. I can handle my own turbulence how I want to. However, the planes are a little cold for me. They are always a little cold. I always have to wear socks under my sandals.

GUTFELD: Terrible.

TIMPF: And people say, "Kat, why don't you just wear tennis shoes?" Well, because then I have to untie them and take them off because of, you know, the TSA infringing upon my rights every time I want to travel.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And I'm 29. I'm too old to have the energy to do that already.

GUTFELD: That's too bad.

MURDOCH: This is worse than watching old yeller hearing her problems. I'm crying tears from my heart.

TIMPF: It is chilly. I feel as though I'm in a tundra.

MURDOCH: You would be if you had your seat belt on when the turbulence hits. You are like what? Sixty eight pounds soaking wet in one of my shoes? You would be bouncing all over the plane without the little seat belt.

TIMPF: I prefer to leave my seat belt unbuckled and I put a blanket over my head and vape underneath just to prove to myself I'm still free.

GUTFELD: Well, you know what? You truly are revolutionary. Charlie, it scares me that regulations do more harm than good, like, there's a limit for stewardesses for ten hour shifts. That means if you are on the tarmac, right, and you're about to take off, but let's say it is delayed for 45 minutes, and it is past a stewardess's shift, they could probably turn around and dump you.

HURT: Totally. I mean, I despise the airlines. I despise all airlines. I would make a 12-hour drive easy to avoid having to get into an airplane, but the only people that could actually make the ...

GUTFELD: Twelve hours with you, oh, god, anyways, sorry.

HURT: The only thing that could make things worse than an airline would be the Federal government.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: But everybody complains about TSA. Am I the only one who likes to go through TSA?

GUTFELD: I don't mind.

MURDOCH: Yes.

HURT: I love it.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I don't mind it - in some airports, they are fantastic, and other ones they are just angry, but most of the guys are pretty good and they are fans of this show. So remember that when you start feeling me up. Sometimes they will put things in my pockets. All right, Madison, what do you make of this?

GESIOTTO: All about extra room, but I don't want the regulation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GESIOTTO: Capitalism works. If the planes start getting seats that are too small for people to sit on, people aren't going to fly those airlines anymore. So as long it will work itself out, but let me just say one thing, back to what both - pretty much everyone has been saying, the airlines are terrible. It doesn't going to make them better. Even if I'm sitting in a seat that's a little bit bigger, I'm still getting water dripped on my head half the time. I've been flying a lot lately, everything is a mess.

GUTFELD: I like the water thing - I actually told them.

GESIOTTO: They're not nice.

GUTFELD: I notified them that there was water dripping, and they go "oh yeah."

GESIOTTO: I sat down ...

GUTFELD: Condensation. by the way, here's my theory on why people are so hostile when they fly. did anybody ever see the movie "Snowpiercer?"

TIMPF: No.

GESIOTTO: No.

GUTFELD: So we're developing a class system where depending on how much you pay is how much comfort you get. That's what's happening to the airlines. It is just like "Snowpiercer" which was a segmented capsule divided by wealth. I know they are wrapping me because I'm talking about something nobody watched. Go see "Snowpiercer," that's what the airlines are coming up. All right, he says he's 4% black. Now he claims he's a minority business owner. We discuss this next.

MARIANNE RAFFERTY, CORRESPONDENT, FOX NEWS: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Marianne Rafferty. President Trump in Wheeling, West Virginia tonight holding a make America great rally as he looks to boost support for Republican Senate nominee Patrick Morrissey. President Trump taking aim at Democrats calling many out by name including Senator Elizabeth Warren.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: They have been taken so far left where Pocahontas is now considered a conservative in the Democratic Party. She's like a conservative person. Pocahontas, Elizabeth Warren, she's considered like a conservative person. These people - they've gone crazy. They've gone loco.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

RAFFERTY: Now, this was the first of five rallies President Trump will hold this week, as he looks to drum up support for GOP candidates ahead of the fast-approaching midterm elections. I'm Marianne Rafferty, now back to "The Greg Gutfeld Show."

GUTFELD: He's getting flak for saying he's black. I speak of Ralph Taylor who took one of those DNA tests which revealed to him that he was 90% European, 6% Native American and 4% sub Saharan African. Anyway, after Taylor got these results, what did he do? Register as a minority business owner. That's America. Of course, that would give him a leg up when competing for government contracts.

He took his case to the state court and eventually was recognized as a minority. Now, it is in the hands of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, which is known to lean liberal. A lot of questions here of course. How do you legally define race? How can you define it by the percentages on a DNA kit? Also by the way, I will have you know that I did take one of these DNA tests, it turns out I'm 20% European and about 80% unicorn.

Here's me without my make up on. Come on, Kat. Have you ever tried to get certain perks you don't deserve?

TIMPF: Isn't that what life is?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Whenever I see stories like this, the only thing I can think is why are you willingly giving up your DNA without a warrant?

GUTFELD: Good point.

TIMPF: What if he wants to rob a bank someday.

GUTFELD: True.

TIMPF: What if he wants to murder someone? He's going to be [bleep] out of luck.

GUTFELD: It is true.

TIMPF: I mean, okay, I don't think you should live your life with the expectation that you are going to commit a homicide.

GUTFELD: I do.

TIMPF: I think that that's probably a bad thing, but I think that this is kind of a ridiculous story, right? I mean, only in a society where we're this driven by identity politics that something like this ever even happen in the first place.

GUTFELD: I have theories though, but Madison, do you think he has a case?

GESIOTTO: It's tough. I don't think he's going to win.

GUTFELD: No?

GESIOTTO: The one thing I'd like to point out here though is the fact that if everyone and everything were treated equally in this country by the same standards, we wouldn't be having this conversation. That's something some people have brought up here. But at the same time, he's not going to win this case.

GUTFELD: That is a very good point. This shouldn't actually matter. Tyrus, he has an Ebony magazine subscription as proof. Is that the best evidence?

MURDOCH: He's good. Does he have a basketball in his garage perhaps? What the hell? It's 4%, well, I mean, in slaving times, think 4% - I think they're going to let you go. Here's the deal, if he's willing to take a test, if he's willing to take the Tyrus black test, i will reach out to several members of the clan, somewhere, wherever they are, and we will have a meeting.

I will drop him off blindfolded in the meeting, and when I take it off, and I'm like he's black, and I will run out of the room. If he says yes I am, do what you must, I will not be - or he goes no, no, I'm white, guys. I'm so white. That black guy kidnapped me. I will help you go get him. Then he's not. That's the only way to know.

GUTFELD: Charlie, I guess being in a group of people is the lived experience. So I kind of look at this guy, like he's like the Rosy Ruiz of race, like he jumps in at the end of the marathon and claims to be of that minority so he wants to get all the benefits of the lived experience, without actually living it.

HURT: No, I totally reject this. What do you mean getting things he doesn't deserve? Of course he - if we're going to have a system that awards special things to people based on race, then he absolutely deserves a spot at that truck. Now, I happen to think it is an abominable way to divide the world and a way to run a government, but if we're going to have an insane system that divides people by race, gender, creed, religion, everything, why shouldn't he be able to take part of that?

Four percent is fine, and the idea that you would use anything other than DNA, of course DNA should determine that and we can be like the tower of Babel, everybody runs in, tries to grab the free stuff and reveal and expose what a totally rotten and unfair system everything the Federal government touches winds up being. Especially when they start divvying people up ...

GUTFELD: Have you seen the movie "Snowpiercer?" All right, speaking of, we do have something. It's a dangerous fad when selfies go bad. That's next.

Should we rescue people who put themselves in danger taking Instagram selfies? Depends. Are they liberals? That red meat joke courtesy of the red meat joke board. The quest for extreme Instagram photos has led to a rise in rescues, at least in Southern California, wherever that is.

Search-and-rescue teams with the LA County Sheriff's Department conducted 681 missions last year, up 40% from five years ago. They say many of their missions happen where cliff jumping is a popular weekend - poor cliff.

Anyway, with people trying to capture the stunts for social media. Personally, I think human cliff jumping is boring. It's why I only hang out with cliff jumping goats.

One of the goats also edited that video by the way. A lot of good rocking music there. Charles, the county is spending thousands of dollars and hour, an hour, on those rescues. Should they? I think they have to, right?

HURT: Yes, yes, I think, yes, but I'll tell you what they ought to do is they ought to make a big deal out of it and have like maybe a public hearing where you charge the people that are rescued for the - and you know, and that's actually not an unheard of thing. I know that if you get, you know, if you get stuck out in the wilderness or you get stuck, you know, canoeing down rapids and they have to come in and get you, you can get a bill for it. They should get a bill for it.

GUTFELD: Yes, I read a story about one woman who just kept getting rescued in the forest. And I think it was because she liked to get rescued.

HURT: Yes.

GUTFELD: Kat, have you ever taken a selfie that required you to be saved by men in orange vests?

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: Oh.

TIMPF: Not to brag. I'm just not surprised at all that this is happening in Southern California. I just got back from Los Angeles and all some of these people do is take Instagram pictures.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I was not surprised to see these pictures of people dangling from cliffs. I was surprised to see that more people weren't doing it with their naked butts out. Have you been Instagram lately?

GUTFELD: Yes, a lot of butts.

TIMPF: Holy Toledo. Geez Louis.

GUTFELD: ... unholy.

TIMPF: It's like 35% butts. I used to think I was like a fun gal. Like you know, like Kat, she is a fun gal. Now, I'm realizing I'm a bit of a square because I think that my butt belongs inside of my clothes when I'm in public.

GUTFELD: Very strong butt in clothes message, Kat.

TIMPF: Thank you I do it for the children.

GUTFELD: Yes. Madison, should the country just say we're not going to rescue you if you're doing it on your own risk or is that ...

GESIOTTO: No, I say do it for the Gram. If people want to take these pictures, take them, most of the time, not all the time but in a lot of places they are being sent the bills anyway for negligence when they are getting rescued in situations like this. The advice I would have for people who want to jump off the cliffs and take pictures, go to Utah. In Utah, recently, they came out with this thing where you could buy for
$20.00 to $30.00 somewhere around there, get rescued free card.

If you plan on doing things like this, you buy your card, everybody pitches in and then the people who wind up having to get rescued don't have to pay the bills.

GUTFELD: Wow.

TIMPF: America is doomed.

HURT: So, it's like insurance for a rescue.

GUTFELD: It is rescue insurance. Insurance for dumb asses. All right, Tyrus, you're on Instagram a lot. Usually in the gym lifting big things.

MURDOCH: Yes, I take those because I'm supposed to put things about my life. So you see I lift weights and sit on here. That's all you get. I think we should - I think the rescue teams who are great men and women in this country, they should have a little bit of fun with this. I think your rescuing should be based on the likes they get. So what you do is when the dude is hanging from the cliff, the rescue guy will come down, right next to him, where he could possibly save him, far enough away where he can't reach, and take a picture of him and be like you need 200 likes for this rescue to go down.

GUTFELD: That's a great idea.

MURDOCH: You're only allowed five comments that are negative. Sorry, pal, let's roll it up and leave his ass there.

GUTFELD: I'm going to stop at that great idea because I don't think I can come up with a better one.

MURDOCH: Dumb ass insurance and like rescues.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right, stay right there. Final thoughts, next.

We are out of time. Thanks to Madison Gesiotto, Charlie Hurt, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, studio audience. I'm Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.

END

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