Gutfeld: Trump only digs deals with escape hatches

He signed on the line and finally all was fine.


DONALD TRUMP, R-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: The best way for the Republicans to win is if I win the nomination and go directly against whoever they happen to put up. And for that reason, I have signed the pledge.


TRUMP: So I will be totally pledging my allegiance to the Republican Party and the conservative principles for which it stands.


Hooray. The pledge means endorsing the Republican nominee and bars a third party run. It's like mommy and daddy finally making up and all the shouting stops. For now.

The good news: The pledge forces everyone, Donald included, to take the campaign seriously. He has to be less pundit, and sadly, more political.  He can't just keep saying China until his face explodes.


TRUMP: Let's say China.







I'm not angry at China.

I want to take our money back from China. And China's going to like us.

Look at China.

And by the way, not just China.




China all the time.


Yes. The bad news: he just sold out to the evil RHINOs. The outsider has now hopped inside.

Now obviously, the pledge is not a legally binding document. It's one step above a blood oath in a tree house made by two kids in knee socks. And we all know Donald only signs deals with escape hatches. A big fan of the prenup, his success is in maintaining a plausible way out.

And here it is, in the Washington Post. "Trump's priority is to be treated with respect by the national GOP. If that relationship should ever sour, he could consider changing his mind."

Now, that does not sound like in sickness or in health.

But as we ponder Trump going third party, why not second? After all, Trump could rule as a Dem, a party that's all pantsuit, no cattle. Trump's for higher taxes, a trade war, defends Planned Parenthood and single payer. Talk about a persuasive candidate. He's turned millions of righties into lefties.

So while I'm glad he signed the pledge, pledges are meant to be broken. Remember, no new taxes lasted as long as a fruit fly's puberty.

In sum, the only good pledge is the kind that polishing your wood or the one that fetches your beer at a kegger.