This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," July 14, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CHRIS CUOMO, ANCHOR, CNN: What do you say my friends? Let's get after it. Check it and go. What we call in the law a red herring. What's that? That's a fish, Bob. A red herring.
We all know the Billy Joel song, "We didn't start the fire," right, it's always burning, since the world's been turning. Another line of that song is, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it.
What you say everybody? Get after it.
As rare as a unicorn.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: There is something wrong with him. And leave the unicorns out of it. Let's get after it. Trump wandered into NATO's quiet camp site in Brussels like a big orange bear on a silent night. Everybody was sleeping soundly, having the Obama dream where he tells you everything's all right and then Trump speaks and instantly the media and every EU bureaucrat goes from a sound snore to hair on fire with predictions of total destruction of western civilization.
By breakfast NATO was a wreck and we were abandoning the Germans to the Russians. Reminds me of a movie.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In a world where many countries aren't paying what they should.
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Many countries are not being what they should.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Where many countries owe us a tremendous amount of money from many years back.
TRUMP: Many countries owe us a tremendous amount of money from many years back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: One man had a plan to blow the world away.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He is going to fly into Brussels like a seagull. He is going to defecate all over everything, squawk and flyaway.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When the world try to pass a buck on the good old US of A, a man with a plan brought a storm of logic.
TRUMP: I think that these countries have to step it up not over a 10-year period, they have to step it up immediately.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nude man on unicorn snowboarding through a ring of fire while flexing presents, Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, and Ian Zeiring as Steve, Trump NATO, defecating on everything in Brussels like a seagull.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Well done. Hasn't anyone noticed a pattern in these phony panics yet? Definitely not the media who are like infants. Trump holds his fingers in front of his eyes, and says, "Peek a boo," and they all scream. Works every time. Until he feeds them some strange peas and then everything's okay. Actually, tremendous progress has been made.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: Tremendous progress has been made. Everyone has agreed to substantially up their commitment. They are going to up it at levels that they've never thought of before.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Right, in other words, they never thought of keeping their promises to pay their fair share. And that's the media's real complaint here that we risk being rude, asking for what's owed to us, in public. Oh, we're such hopeless rubes. It's like when the dinner bill comes, Germany is that dude who heads to the john, leaving you to pay and he expect you will because you're an American, but he never dined with Trump who won't let you go to the bathroom.
He will demand cash to your face. Germany's tab isn't paid on NATO, which was designed of course to curb Soviet expansion, yet the country is making massive oil deals with the Russians. Sorry, I think Trump has a right to call Germany out for skipping out to do lines with Putin. Lifelines.
Now, Trump wants everyone to up their defense spending. Why would he do that? May be to get them to meet the target they already failed to meet. Could he be perhaps a stable genius?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TRUMP: I'm a very stable genius.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes, now as Trump tutors us on NATO, what is England's response?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Here's a rather amusing way for protesters to show, they're not so keen on his visit here to the UK. Here you have it, the Donald Trump inflatable baby.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: They have come a long way since Churchill. A child's response to adult actions, kids playing with a balloon, now Trump is supposed to meet with Putin which means that Monday, Brian Stelter and Christiane Amanpour will once again put on their chicken suits and tell us it's the end of the world and already they forgotten that Peter Strzok hearing. Remember that?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PETER STRZOK, FBI AGENT: I don't recall writing that text.
STEVE COHEN, US REPRESENTATIVE, TENNESSEE, DEMOCRAT: If I could give you a purple heart, I would.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Parliamentary inquiry. The time is controlled by the gentleman.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Parliamentary inquiry.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A parliamentary inquiry is not in order.
TREY GOWDY, US REPRESENTATIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, REPUBLICAN: If you want it to be you and Lisa Page.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Mr. Chairman.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are we not given five minutes to answer questions. We have been indulged this harassment.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We endured 15 minutes of badgering of the witness.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can you share with us.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The gentleman is not in order.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you making up as you go along?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The gentleman will suspend.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: If it's so frustrating, answer the question.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The gentleman has already answered that question, so now the gentleman from Maryland, Mr. Raskin is recognized for five minutes.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I can't stop. Is he an FBI agent or a bobble head? All right, but that hearing, it created a comparison with Trump. It's a group of useless hacks versus the sole rebel, dysfunction versus Dirty Harry, ballet slippers versus cleats. A Prias versus a monster truck. At the NATO summit, we've got a guy, Trump, revealing a hard truth. With the hearing, we got an FBI lovebird shielded by his white knight Democrats.
So after all the mainstream media freak outs, maybe they should stop screaming and listen to the grown-up who might be onto something. I mean, I never knew about that pipeline and now I do. Again, Trump has dragged something out of Europe's backroom and put it on stage and he didn't give [bleep] that he might have violated some decorum. That's his job. He's our jerk.
The fact that he pissed off so many people should endear him to us. He's not interested in being TIME's man of the year, just the leader of Americans, so he left his summit with pockets full, about $40 billion. If it had been Hillary, all she would leave with is the silverware. True.
Meanwhile - and while Obama may have been a lullaby, Trump is a wake-up call, a Sex Pistol in the land of Abba. It's true. It's true what the punk movement did to music in the 70s, Trump is now doing to politics. And if you missed that now, it's like you're still listening to Emerson, Lake and Palmer, which I do.
Let's welcome tonight's guests, shall we? He's so sharp he can't hold a balloon, "Washington Times" opinion editor wearing Sears sucker, Fox News contributor Charlie Hurt. Like falling from a tall building onto hard cement, he will crack you up, comedian Joe Machi. She is mopey, but never dopey, "National Review" reporter, Kat Timpf. And he once tripped over the Great Wall of China, former WWE Superstar and my massive sidekick, Tyrus.
Charlie, has Trump ruined the entire world order?
CHARLIE HURTS, CONTRIBUTOR, FOX NEWS: Yes, and thank God. But no, you hit all of it so well in that monologue, I mean, it's amazing. People say that, "Oh, he doesn't like NATO, he's trying to undermine NATO. He wants to attack our allies." But all the evidence that people put forth for why he hates NATO and why he wants to undermine our allies, is actually evidence of the exact opposite. He's trying to get more money for NATO. He's trying to get support for NATO.
And the thing about the pipeline is a perfect example. This is a guy who is not afraid to talk about anything. And he really does educate people about it, and it is important. I think it's vitally important to understand that Germany is spending money to basically finance this great huge enemy that we're all worried about.
GUTFELD: Exactly. And while the whole point of NATO was to protect ourselves against the people, they're actually funding.
HURT: And then they become - and then their head explodes when Donald Trump calls them out on it.
GUTFELD: I know, it's crazy. Tyrus, there are people who see Trump as a jerk and we get that.
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR: I mean, there's people who see you as a jerk. I don't know any of them.
MURDOCH: But they never get hold of my texts and make me get in front of Congress, no. I kind of feel for Germany a little bit because they're kind of the world's bad guy.
MURDOCH: They're always going to be the guy in the room like, "Who's the worst person in the room?" It's always Germany kind of have got to wear that hat. So when he was like, while they're buying oil from Russia, Germany is like, "Uh," damn it. Like they never said Germany saved more puppies than any other nation, Germany's doing backdoor dealings with Russia, again. Weird.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
MURDOCH: Once again, Germany is the bad guy. And I think, it hurt a lot of people's - like, they were all like squirming and I think like France and they were all wondering what dirt he had on them. Like what's he going to say next? Donald really went in with the dirt like he brought up everyone who they slept with six years - apparently Germany has been sleeping with Russia on the down low and he put it out there and all he wants to do is talk. So, Germany's laying pipe with Russia, so.
GUTFELD: Nicely done. Joe, what are your thoughts on this? Are you comforted by our stable genius President?
JOE MACHI, AMERICAN STANDUP COMEDIAN: I am and when I read John Kerry's criticism, I thought it was almost like Trump criticism adlibs where he filled it out without knowing anything would happen because he said it was humiliating to ask our NATO partners to pay their fair share and he was glorifying our enemy, Russia, when he was doing the exact opposite. If he wants to look at what embarrassed NATO, it was probably something more along the lines of allowing Russia to overtake Crimea and doing nothing.
GUTFELD: Yes. Which is what John Kerry did. Exactly.
MACHI: I should have said that.
GUTFELD: No, I was just helping you out. Kat, what you think about these British protests? Do you think they are having any effect?
KAT TIMPF, REPORTER, NATIONAL REVIEW: Yes, I definitely think that making someone into the giant baby is like the best argument ever and you're definitely going to win. No, absolutely not. It's absolutely ridiculous, and I don't understand why anyone in America is mad about this at all - any of the NATO stuff - because Trump got us paid. He's getting us paid here, and I don't understand because they might not like him, but if I had to choose between someone liking me and someone paying me, I would probably - I mean, I would probably choose them liking me because I'm like desperate for self-approval. But I understand that the right choice would be to choose the money. So, I'm glad that's what President Trump has done on our behalf.
GUTFELD: I believe I have paid people to like me, yes, yes, in some countries where it is legal.
HURT: And the other thing is that, why are the British having such a hard time with American sovereignty? We settled this once before and we kind of won.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. It's such a stereotype though. It's the ugly American coming to the snooty elite Europeans and turning the table over, and then the problem is, we're always kind of right, I guess.
HURT: As Winston Churchill said - Americans always do the right thing after exhausting every other possible option.
GUTFELD: That's a good way of putting it. Who said that?
HURT: Winston Churchill.
GUTFELD: And who is he?
MURDOCH: He was the model for the baby protest - online. I don't care who you have playing them, they all have to have a pillow.
GUTFELD: Joe, I want a last word from you. I kind of think that it's important to have a jerk for a President because it's like having an a-hole lawyer in court. Like, I mean, if America is a defendant in court, you don't want a nice guy. You don't want somebody who is like, going to go out there. Like, you don't want your lawyer to be liked by anybody. You don't even want to like your lawyer.
MACHI: Maybe that's why so many people keep saying it's so bad because they like what he's doing, but they don't want the blame. I do that.
GUTFELD: That's it. You want somebody else to take the blame.
MURDOCH: We want to be good cop and he's bad cop.
GUTFELD: Exactly. All right. Don't forget, you can preorder my new book, it's "Gutfeld Monologues." It's in stores July 31st, and the book tour starts August 4th, I'll be in Fort Worth and Dallas; to Woodlands Texas, August 5; you can see the rest of the current schedule because it's really boring if I read every city then we would waste the show and everybody would be angry. So, go to ggutfeld.com for the latest tour information.
All right, still to come, is he unqualified or evil? Or both? Our potential next Supreme Court Justice.
They are working up a sweat to find dirt on Brett. This week, President Trump nominated Judge Brett Kavanaugh, that's his real name, to be the next Supreme Court Justice. He seems to be a decent guy. He coaches youth basketball. He feeds the homeless with actual food. Not like my uncle Steve. Anyway, but that doesn't fit the left's narrative. See, he must be a threat to earth's survival.
So the media is out to find the skeletons and here's what they found. In his high school yearbook, he called himself the treasurer of the Keg City Club, 100 kegs or bust. He drinks beer, that's horrifying. That's not all. Your kids may need to leave the room for this one. According to "The Washington Post," Kavanaugh got into serious debt on tickets to baseball games - Washington Nationals baseball games. This man is a monster. It makes me wonder what else could be out there.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is Brett Kavanaugh unqualified or evil? Born February 12, 1965, the very same day the United States government conducted a nuclear test in the Nevada desert. A coincidence? Who knows, but it seems Kavanaugh was already on the road to war.
As a teen, Kavanaugh would attend Georgetown Prep along with Dylan Baker who played a murderous KGB agent in the hit show "The Americans," his real name, Vitaly Sorokin. If only the Russian connections stopped there. Kavanaugh was later confirmed to the DC Appeals Court in May 2006. The same month Kentucky derby winner, Barbaro suffered an injury during the Preakness Stakes. Eight months later, he was euthanized.
Where was Kavanaugh during this? Russia perhaps? Good question. Perhaps we should ask it in Russian.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And finally, Kavanaugh's middle name is Michael - Brett Michael Kavanaugh. What's missing? Well, you can't spell Supreme without an S, and add an S to Michael, and you have Brett Michaels and you've seen him at a band called Poison. Poison, a substance often used by foreign agents to kill critics. A coincidence or collusion? Brett Michaels, leader of Poison, first and middle name of Kavanaugh who won "Celebrity Apprentice," in 2010, the host, Mr. Donald Trump who after nominating Kavanaugh will exit the country to meet a man named Vlad Putin. Nuclear bombs, the KGB, animal cruelty, Poison, Putin and Trump. Is it no longer that Brett Kavanaugh is simply unqualified but that he is evil? You be the judge. We're just asking questions.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It's all we do here is ask questions. I don't know, he might not be evil, but I mean, after looking at that, I wouldn't let him near my family. And I don't even have a family, but if I had a family, he's not coming near it. All right, Joe, does Brett Kavanaugh frighten you?
MACHI: No, Greg, I'm as comfortable with Brett Kavanaugh as when I go into a Jacuzzi with my shirt still on. All the dirt they dug up on this guy is pretty lame. I mean, Washington Nationals fan? I expect him to recuse himself while I talk about how the Pittsburgh Pirates are the best team in baseball, go Pirates. And he is the treasurer of the Keg Club, well, that's good. That's the responsible guy in the Keg Club. He handles the money.
GUTFELD: It's true. Yes, he's the only - without him you wouldn't have the Keg Club.
HURT: That is really exciting. I was never treasurer of anything.
GUTFELD: No, neither was I. I was - you know what's great about this, his vices are baseball, beer and debt, which makes him American. I wish my dark secrets were this benign.
HURT: But you know, I mean, I would like to say that that thing was absurd. That commercial was absurd. It's really not. If you listen to what the Democrats said, millions of people are going to die because of this man.
GUTFELD: Yes. Right, exactly.
HURT: Millions of people, the lives are going to be threatened by this man. It's insane. You can't out absurd them.
GUTFELD: No, I know, we tried. We tried - you know, Kat, most people don't get into debt on baseball, it's eighth balls, right? So, shouldn't we be happy it's baseball and not eight balls?
TIMPF: It is a very strange thing to get into debt over. I mean, what kind of tickets was he buying, and was he just at every game all the time forever and always? I don't really understand. But, yes, it's pretty harmless. It's pretty harmless. I don't like the drinking in high school thing though.
TIMPF: No. I never drank in high school.
GUTFELD: No, you didn't?
TIMPF: No, no one ever invited me to any party, so I had - I drank a lot of Slurpies and went for walks in the woods.
GUTFELD: You know, that's such a loser's mentality. If nobody wants to drink with you, you think simply drink alone. That's the winning way of being a drinker.
TIMPF: I'll be sure to teach my future children that.
GUTFELD: All right, Tyrus, one day someone who went to high school in this social media age will be nominated to the Supreme Court ...
MURDOCH: Got it.
GUTFELD: All so all of their mistakes will be up on the bathroom wall. We're going to be looking at half-naked selfies of the next Supreme Court judge.
MURDOCH: Or worse, just tons of selfies like workout bay, in the gym and he is not in shape anymore, like, he's lying - I mean, you asked a question about being afraid. Me, I'm naturally afraid of judges because they can send you to jail for a really long time or give away half your stuff to her without even hearing your side of the damn argument. See your kids via Facetime and monitored visits and stuff because you're big, maybe use the F bomb every once in a while when you get frustrated, but he doesn't have a right to judge me even though he is a judge.
So, he is a judge. I'm going to give him a break, but what kills me is this dude has been a judge for a long time, right?
MURDOCH: He just now have to give references?
MURDOCH: I mean, damn, he's been like, what? Twelve years or something like that, I'm guessing. And if he like baseball, that's great. It's a long season.
GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.
MURDOCH: It's even longer if you're Nationals fan. Like, they can't make the playoffs and when they do, they're swept, so he's - and you know what? The liberals should love this because he supports a loser, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's faithfully there. I mean, let's not forget who the Nationals used to be, the Expos. It only gets worse.
GUTFELD: Yes, I forgot about that.
MURDOCH: They couldn't sell seats in Canada, hence, we got them.
GUTFELD: Yes, I forgot that.
MURDOCH: And the only guy buying tickets every day apparently is this judge, which is.
TIMPF: I just can't imagine being this reporter having been tasked with this expose on this man, and the worse that you could dig up is he likes baseball a lot.
GUTFELD: Yes, Chris Cillizza, is that how you say his name, CNN was like, "Somebody better ..." he was acting like it was a bombshell.
HURT: We think he may have bought a beer at a baseball game.
GUTFELD: I don't know, he might have smuggled in some apple pie.
HURT: And you know, it's a funny moment to reflect on. You realize that there was a guy between Robert Bork and Justice Kennedy that Reagan nominated who couldn't get through and it was Ginsburg - Judge Ginsburg who couldn't make it onto the court because they found out he had smoked pot once.
GUTFELD: I forgot about that.
HURT: That's how far we have come.
GUTFELD: I know. The progress.
MURDOCH: How far are we going to go back when a guy can't get in because he likes the Nationals?
GUTFELD: His biggest flaw is that is goofy. He's the neighbor that you can borrow like lawn care stuff from and not return it and he's too scared to come over to your place to ask. That's the perfect neighbor.
HURT: He's too nice.
GUTFELD: He's too nice. All right, still to calm, a third White House run for Hillary. God I hope so.
ROBERT GRAY, CORRESPONDENT, FOX NEWS: Live from "America's News Headquarter," I'm Robert Gray. The Secretary of Homeland Security says Russia is not targeting the midterm elections on the same scale as the 2016 presidential election. But Kirstjen Nielsen noted that the Russians are using social media to divide Americans. Nielsen says the DHS is helping state and local governments prepare for cyber attacks from Russia or elsewhere. The Secretary spoke today at the Convention of State Secretaries of State in Philadelphia.
Overseas, Haiti's Prime Minister resigned today after a plan to hike fuel prices sparked deadly riots. Jack Guy Lafontant suspended the fuel price increases, but that failed to stop the protests. As the violence intensified, he faced growing calls to step down. Lafotant said the increases in gasoline, diesel and kerosene were needed to balance the nation's budget. Now, back to Greg Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: Like a man on a toilet after a chilly eating contest, Hillary Clinton has unfinished business. They like the poop jokes. Take that America. "New York Post's" Michael Goodwin suggest Hillary may try an actual comeback in 2020. His proof, fundraising e-mails touting her Trump resisting super pack. Hillary sending e-mails, old habits die hard.
On Friday at the American Federation of Teachers - whatever, she had nothing but good things to say about the country. Just kidding.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
CLINTON: I believe with all my heart that the check of any society is how we treat the most vulnerable among us. Particularly our youngest, our oldest, our people with disabilities; and right now my friends, our country is failing that test. We have never seen such organized cruelty, disdain and contempt for those values.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It's like a pink joy buzzer. Anti-joy buzzer, but it still hurts. I get it. Hillary should want a rematch. She has to defend her legacy. I mean, first she loses to an unknown Barack Obama, and then she loses to this guy, I'd run again, too. Oh my, look, Rocky Balboa fought Apollo Creed again and he won and that really happened, but Rocky trained, he earned it, will Hillary earn it or will her lazy entitlement cause her to blow it again? Who knows, but I do know, if you're Hillary, you're thinking, "I've got to take a chance, roll the dice, go big or go home," right Scooter McGee?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I made a mistake.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That you did, Scooter. That you did. Kat, geeze, she should do it, right?
TIMPF: Well, if I was her friend, I would probably tell her not to do again. I know there's that's saying the third time is a charm, but I think that the saying should be if you try to do a thing two times and you don't do the thing, maybe you're bad at the thing. It's not quite as catchy, but I will work on it. I understand why she wants to run again though, because she's been in politics forever. She doesn't know how to do anything else, so I think what she should do is run for like President of like the PTA at one of her grandkids' schools.
GUTFELD: Oh, god, that would be great.
TIMPF: She can do all the things she loves doing like spending gazillions of dollars on ads in the surrounding area and then still losing because she never actually goes to the school. And she can just keep doing all of her favorite stuff that way.
GUTFELD: Joe, do we need a rematch?
MACHI: I don't think we need to see sequel any more than I need to see another "Star Wars" sequel.
TIMPF: Be careful with that.
GUTFELD: They've got a lot of ewoks out there.
MACHI: I'll tell you what, Greg, the only time Hillary Clinton ever won in office was when she ran the state she didn't live in, New York, so maybe she should try to replace Justin Trudeau.
GUTFELD: Right. They do wear the same pantsuit. Tyrus, what you think.
MURDOCH: I've said that's all along. I've been like, leave this alone, stop poking this bear. And it's a big bear, now it's going to be a big white haired bear, and we're going to be - I don't want to see the rematch. I don't think it helps that type of campaign is going to help Trump be a better President when he wins, but I think it's just going to make - I'm worried about the country. I'm worried about the neighborhood I live in - the division is just starting to die down where people are getting over it and now you're going to bring it back.
I mean, she's scarier than the judge, and you know, I don't like - this is much bugaboo's, bear traps, somebody drinking out my milk, and white hair and Hillary Clinton.
GUTFELD: All right, so, there's no way the Sanders faction will be okay with it. It will be like being mugged and then hiring the mugger to handle your finances. Like, I mean, after what happened with the debates and all that stuff.
HURT: But here's the calculus that she's thinking about, she's thinking about the fact - look how the disarray the Democrats are in. And the field will be so splintered, anybody who can get 35% or 25% of the Democratic vote has got the nomination locked up. But here's the thing that to me is so terrifying about this is you look at what the deep state did, you look at what all of these people did, too, and I do believe they did things to rig the election or try to rig the election, when they thought Donald Trump had no chance of winning. Now that they know he can win, imagine the knives that will come out.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's going to be crazy.
HURT: If she runs again.
GUTFELD: And I think that's why Tyrus is probably right that it could get scary, but think about this.
MURDOCH: Enough of the thing. He's going to beat her 10 out of 10. He will beat anyone because she's not an electable person, but us on the ground, us in the neighborhoods in the city, and schools and stuff, we're going to have to deal with this diversity. It's not fair.
GUTFELD: But I've got to end this, but from her perspective, her legacy is not going to be First Lady or Secretary of State, it's going to be LTT, you know, lost to Trump. That will be the first line of her obituary. It will be, "Known for losing to Donald Trump," and mine will be, "Loved unicorns a bit too much, hence the accident."
GUTFELD: Trump would love it. What a spectacle, I'm telling you. This would be the hugest political election in history like when Marcia and Greg ran in the Brady bunch. Oh man. All right, still to come, don't call me a cowboy, it could be sexist. We discuss the latest social justice outrage, that's next.
They are out to destroy the cowboy. Some professors and students are outraged over a University of Wyoming marketing campaign bearing the slogan, "The world needs more cowboys." Now, for those of you not from Wyoming, it's a state, but also the school's mascot is a cowboy. But critics call the phrase sexist and racist. One professor says the word "cowboy" makes you picture a straight white male. I'd add a hot one, too.
Anyway, the professor says really, for the past 20 years it's not been acceptable to use the generic male to pretend that includes females. Shut up. The school's spokesperson responded it's not gender specific. A cowboy is not what you are, but who you are.
Anyway, here is video proof the world needs more cowboys. Rest in peace. Tyrus, when you think of cowboy, do you think of state straight white men?
MURDOCH: Actually, no I don't. I don't think of straight white men at all. Literally, no reason in my brain to ever pop out like, "Wow, that's a great ..."
GUTFELD: So, I guess you're not renting.
MURDOCH: You know what, I am fine with there being a need more cowboys. I think all the PC [bleep] needs to go away. This is ridiculous. It's Wyoming. I've been to Wyoming. Unless you're a wolf, a cowboy or a tourist stuck trying to get out of Wyoming, there's not much else to do but to herd cattle, drink beer and avoid wolves. I mean, this is what's wrong with America and this is exactly why Democrats can never win an election. This type of, all this energy and all of this negativity on a name or nickname.
History lesson from Tyrus, the first cowboys were black, punk. They were black. It was the worst job you can get in the West to herd a rich white man's cows. Load them up. Straight white guys weren't jumping in for that. It wasn't a big thing like, "Hey, I got to Texas and I'm going to go stand in the sun for 14 hours a day and smell and push cows for a guy with money." The white guys were smart. They didn't do that. It wasn't until you saw the movies that all of a sudden, white guys - and they got breaks and trailers, but the real cowboy were brothers running from the south. So, the world needs more cowboys. Damn it.
GUTFELD: History, history. Joe, what side do you fall on in this?
MACHI: I agree with Tyrus because this doesn't have to do with the pay wage gap or #MeToo, this is about a college that seems to support country music, which I do not. But I will tell you this, the real scandal here is that they spent $500,000.00 to get this slogan, "The world needs more cowboys." If you need a slogan again, University of Wyoming, I will come up with one, for $498,000.00. I'll save you the $2,000.00.
GUTFELD: That's so good of you. Charlie, I came up with a replacement name. Non-gendered cattle enabler.
HURT: That's good. But you know, as Professor Tyrus explained, I think it's an important history lesson, but my goodness, these people did they not go to rodeos? Have they not been to the local county rodeo? Half of the cowboys are really attractive women wearing tight jeans and cowboy hats. They're great. They're awesome.
GUTFELD: I don't know, I've never been. They don't allow me into those things. There is a height requirement.
HURT: This is why we need to get out and do America more. Everybody needs to get out and do America more.
GUTFELD: I'm not going anywhere. Kat, last word to you, I think you are for the change.
TIMPF: Yes, I can't imagine being a woman at that school and having to go through something like that. To have to go to school where the slogan has the word cowboy in it, no one should expected to do that and they all should get settlements.
GUTFELD: Yes, they should. Imagine the pain they go through.
TIMPF: It's so ridiculous. I can't even understand people actually saying this is actually something that would make students feel, who are female or who are not white too uncomfortable to go there. First of all, who decides what school to go to based on a slogan? Like, I decided based on things like scholarship, money or career prospects after graduation. I didn't just have a book of slogans that I was looking at, like I am going to pick the best one here. I agree with Joe that that was a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a slogan.
GUTFELD: That is true. I am trying to think, I went to Berkeley, I think the slogan was, "We don't bathe." I think they should change the name sheepherder to sheephisder. Wow. Way to take the air out of this great segment. We're still going to leave it. Coming up, did you know that Kylie Jenner is a self-made billionaire? Yes. Please kill me.
Kylie Jenner could lend us all a tenor. This week, "Forbes" magazine put her on the cover. The mag predicts that thanks to her $900 million cosmetics empires, she's on track to become the youngest self-made billionaire ever. She will be 21 next month. In short, this story is why America is the greatest country ever. And also, the worst country ever.
I mean, it's great that she got so rich on her own, but it's not me and that's not fair. I should be rich, not her. It's [bleep]. For more, thank you, let's check in with our Kylie cosmetics correspondent who has been testing the products all day. So, Mike, how are they.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: They're great, Greg. Kylie is a genius. Back to you.
GUTFELD: That is the scariest, that scares the hell out of me. Also, I'm slightly aroused. Charlie, I think this is a great sign for America.
HURT: I think it's great, too. I mean, I think, if you can launch a career based on a sex tape - not even your own sex tape, somebody else's, and then you wind up a billionaire, I think it's a marvelous thing. You know, Stormy Daniels, I get tired of all her stuff, but the one thing that I do admire about her is she takes her moment in the spotlight and shakes her moneymaker and goes out there and makes a living off of it, and there's nothing more American.
GUTFELD: That's America. It's a free market.
HURT: I would do it myself if I could get any money.
GUTFELD: I would pay you not to.
HURT: I get paid not to do it.
GUTFELD: I would pay you not to shake your moneymaker. Kat, how sad are you about the story from one to three million.
TIMPF: I'm not sad about it, I'm mad about it. She's not self-made. I don't understand in what universe that she's self-made when her parents put her on TV starting when she was a little kid. So, starting when she was a little kid, she had all this fame and now she's using this fame by putting her famous name on products and that's how she's making money. If she didn't have her famous name, she would just be another pair of big lips floating around the pool in Calabasas.
TIMPF: Facts only. Facts only.
GUTFELD: I disagree. I think she's incredibly talented. All right, Joe. Joe, she started the company three years ago. She's almost a billionaire. How long have you been doing comedy?
MACHI: I've been doing comedy for 13 years, Greg. I am trying to think this entire time with having talent, I should have just gave away my DVD and it make money out. I can't figure this audience out. They like the Star Wars sequels. I do think self-made is a grandiose term that's like calling a Kennedy and Watson outsider. It's not like she was in the lab making that lipstick products. They probably were like, "Hey, do you want money," and she said, "Yes."
GUTFELD: Tyrus, what are we missing here? I think this is a positive story.
MURDOCH: Positive for who?
GUTFELD: For young people.
MURDOCH: Young people everywhere, if you're not born into money and if your sister doesn't fool around with kind of famous brothers on tape for people to watch, you're not going to make it. I mean, I guess she's self- made because she went to her parents and filled the check out for them, "Dad, all you have to do is sign there." So, I guess, it is kind of self- made, but what I believe is self-made is someone who has a story, like they came from nothing, they did this, they did that, they had three kids, or whatever, they found their way and they built this empire on American blood sweat and tears, not, "But, daddy, I want to makeup company." I mean, I was just creating - you know.
GUTFELD: It's important as a young person to own something and it's something you love and you make it into a product, I think this is a great role model.
MURDOCH: But she didn't do that, Greg.
GUTFELD: I like to believe that she did. I would. You know the money figure doesn't bother me, it's so astounding that it doesn't bug me, but if she were slightly wealthier at 21 than I am now, I would hate her guts, but the fact that she's like a zillion times richer, it's like, I can't even aspire to that, I don't even know what that is. Don't go anywhere. Final thoughts next.
All right, we're almost out of time. Joe, where are you performing next?
MACHI: I am going to be at the Comedy Cellar at the Hotel Rio in Las Vegas this coming Wednesday through Sunday, check it out.
GUTFELD: You've got to see him, he's hilarious. All right, thanks to Charlie Hurt, Joe Machi, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. Studio audience. This is Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America. I do. I love you.
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