Gutfeld on the infamous Sinclair mission statement

Maybe the Sinclair Broadcasting message is truly a conspiracy to push a secret agenda of objectivity.

If you have a life, then you probably missed this idiotic story making the rounds Sunday on Twitter and CNN -- same thing, really. In a nutshell: Local anchors delivered a message that promised diligence in the fake news era. It's what you'd call a mission statement. But someone compiled the scripted missives, and it was hilarious.

Oh, my, they were all saying the exact same thing. Who does that remind you of? Hollywood, the mainstream media, the late-night comics? Yet how all these hypocrites whined, the same clacking jaws who get their talking points from Chuck Schumer and Media Matters are mad over this? Shut up. Read the actual script and what do you find? Nothing in there that's pro- or negative Trump, nothing about Democrats or Republicans. Instead, what you'll find is a call for balanced journalism, a concern over unverifiable stories on social media and a criticism of biased broadcasting in general.

That sounds pretty healthy to me. Yet our nation's hall monitor clutched his pearls.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, CNN: All these anchors in these markets are required to read this script. It's attacking fake news. But really, what it's doing, it's kind of like the Fox "Fair and Balanced" slogan. It's a way of saying, "We're fair. Everybody else is biased" and it's taking a page out of Trump's playbook.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Come on, Brian. Given CNN's obsession over Stormy, maybe you want to tape this script on the company fridge. And how could it be worse than CNN's mission statement?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED NARRATOR: This is an apple. Some people might try to tell you that it's a banana. They might scream, "Banana, banana, banana" over and over and over again. They might put "banana" in all caps. You might even start to believe that this is a banana. But it's not. This is an apple.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Who was high on mushrooms when they wrote that?

But Stelter wasn't the only media mouth freaking out. So why was the howling media triggered by this? Well, maybe they feel threatened. People are saying what they're really about, finally. Or maybe, just maybe, this is what angry people do on Easter Sunday and that's even more depressing.