'Gutfeld!' on crisis in Afghanistan, Taliban takeover

close

Video

Gutfeld: As we watched terrorists waltz into power, what were we doing?

'Gutfeld!' panel reacts to chaos in Afghanistan and Biden's response to the situation

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!" August 16, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They're just chanting death to America, but they seem
friendly at the same time. It's utterly bizarre.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: It's refreshing to hear a kinder, gentler
death to America.

Happy Monday or as Joe Biden calls it and you thought Jimmy Carter sucked.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Fall of Kabul is imminent as the Taliban enters the
city.

JIM ACOSTA, CNN ANCHOR: The imminent fall of Kabul.

BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: The fall of Kabul. The Taliban has now entered
the city.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The fall of Kabul as the Taliban completes its takeover
of Afghanistan armed fighters broadcast live from inside the presidential
palace.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I blamed those pesky white supremacists. Now you'd figure we'd
have a plan for this but this is the most botched pull out since Hunter
knocked up that stripper.

Twenty years, billions of dollars in no plan or maybe we had a plan but Joe
left them in the men's room at Cold Stone Creamery. Boy, this crowds quiet.
Oh, now you're laughing. Wake up, people. I know it's Monday but (BLEEP) I
mean, if we knew this would happen the moment we left, what gives? I'm not
here to say I told you so because I never did. I was like most everyone
else spending the last decade forgetting Afghanistan existed in watching
The Bachelor.

Which is either a testament to the effectiveness of our military to keep
things under control, or my very short attention span. So the Taliban sets
its sights on Kabul which is good news for Lori Lightfoot. Her city no
longer is the most dangerous one on the planet.

But what were our priorities while this war went on for decades? For us at
home, it was bad cops, bad tweets, bad combustible engines, bad pronouns.
Yes, the CDC reminds us it's pregnant people instead of moms. I'm so glad
we won that battle. Meanwhile, our armed forces put out highly-polished
recruitment ads that ticked all the intersectional boxes. We're not sure
how to win wars, but at least if we lose them, we won't be able to blame
just old white men.

We also learn that our military leaders assigned left wing antiracist tones
to our troops. So at least the Afghan military can hate America as much as
we're supposed to. Think about it, 20 years preparing for this moment. And
we're as lost as Joe Biden trying to find a White House entrance.

I mean, there are thousands of American citizen still in Afghanistan. You
think we'd have evacuated them sooner. Yet President Biden has lost more
face than during his facelift.
Deliberately awkward phrasing. Seriously, where is the leadership? Has
anyone called the White House?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi, this is the Office of President Joe Biden. My desk
is currently away from me and I don't have a cell phone yet. If you need
assistance, press one and you'll get Kamala Harris. Now what button do I
hit?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hmm, that's weird.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Hi, this is the office of Vice
President Kamala Harris. I'm currently out of the office but not in Europe.
If you need to speak to someone press one for Jen Psaki or leave a message
at the sound of the cackle.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, this is Jen Psaki, I can't come to the phone right
now. I'm doing a photo on shoot for Vogue, and then Vanity Fair, Teen
Vogue, then Baby Vogue. If you need to speak to someone, press one for the
catering department.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's going on here?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi. You reached Brian Stelter. I'm currently out to
lunch. Please leave a message. And any ideas for desserts after the beep or
press one for Fred Flinstone.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Fitting. So think about it. As we watch terrorists waltz into
power. What were we doing? Well, we obsessed over white supremacists in
January 6th with our commander-in-chief yelling never mind the bin lot and
look like with the rocket launcher. It's this white guy wearing face pain
and a Viking hat that we got to eliminate. So, I got this graphic about
potential terror threats from the DHS. It's aged as well as Steven Tyler's
face.

You wonder why Kabul fell faster than Joe Biden walking up a flight of
stairs? How about viewing opposition to mask mandates as the same threat as
terrorists? Talk about making all threats relative, including your
relatives. Yes. Your aunt want -- your aunt who wants election transparency
is no different than people who flew planes into American buildings. Now,
when your bag goes through X ray screening at the airport, the TSA won't be
looking for bombs.

They'll be looking for Trump t-shirts. So your uncle who won't get vaxxed
until it's FDA approved? Well, he'll be the first terrorist water boarded
while being made to wear a surgical mask. Notice how that graphic is really
clear on who the first two threats are? They're basically Trump voters. But
that third one seems intentionally vague. So terror attacks could happen on
9/11 and religious holidays. Who might do that? I'll give you a hint.

It won't be the Oak Ridge Boys. It's got to suck to be an actual terrorist
not getting adequate credit. If the word terrorism were any more watered
down, it would be one of Kat's drinks from a concern bartender. Twitter was
allowing the Taliban to actually tweet while at the same time banning
conservatives. At this point is anyone born in the 90s remember what terror
is? Its slogan is literally never forget.

But we did. Instead of being prepped for this we handled it like a college
freshmen knowing the finals were three months away. I'll just cram the
night before and figure it out then. So as Taliban assumes control without
a hiccup, we should at least see part of the reason why. It's in that
chart, which shifted the threat from one group to another and played down
the Mad Men of the past. Islamic terrorists attacked our country. But there
was a guy who wear a Viking helmet in the state capitol. Same difference,
right?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: January 6th was worse than 9/11 because it's continued
to rip our country apart.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: January 6th was in effect, a second kind of civil war,

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The worst attack on our
democracy since the Civil War.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The most serious threat to our democracy since the Civil
War.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You see how easy we forgot about the Taliban and made ourselves
the bad guys to feed a narrative that legacy media agreed with? We weren't
fighting a war in Afghanistan. We were fighting it here in America against
ourselves. Black versus white, conservative versus liberal, gay versus
straight, trans versus non trans, legal versus illegal, cop versus
criminals. Mask versus maskless. Vaxxed versus non-vaxxed.

We took our eye off the ball, and when you do that you strike out. In
Afghanistan we were caught looking at ourselves.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. Freedom isn't free and this guest
picked up the tab. U.S. Army combat veteran and Florida Congressional
candidate Cory Mills. His punchlines are harder to find than people willing
to work. Writer and comedian, Joe DeVito. You probably wrote that. The only
things more worn out than his clothes are his one liners. The
Loftusparty.com member, founder Michael Loftus. A member.

She's like a shovel, skinny sharpened caked with dirt. Fox News Contributor
Kat Tim. Happy Monday, everyone. All right, Cory, you're a veteran. I'm
willing to bet that you thought the exit from Afghanistan probably could
have gotten better.

CORY MILLS, FLORIDA CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: Yes, to say the least. I mean,
look, here's the bottom line. We had an actual plan that was based around a
condition based agreement that was put under the Trump administration. This
goes even beyond that, though, when we started looking at the ideas that we
thought the nation building was a good idea. That was never the actual
intent of the U.S. military.

Our intent was to go over there and eliminate, you know, the terrorists
that were actually responsible for the 9/11 attack.

GUTFELD: Right.

MILLS: That was the reason. Then it kept going where was political
football, every president wanted to put their rubber stamp on it and say
they did something different. So it was mission creep after mission creep.
And then bad Intel from generals, you know, we have too many Mark Milleys
not enough actual patents.

GUTFELD: Right.

MILLS: And so we sat and looked at how this condition based agreement would
go forward. And Joe Biden essentially played political optics. He said, oh,
I want to pull out on the anniversary of 9/11. Well, that's now spun out of
control because none of those conditions were actually approved. So now,
this becomes actually propaganda for the Taliban, for China, for Russia.
And for all those who are gong to say, here you go, watch.

The Americans will never stick to their plan and they'll never actually be
here. We've lost credibility on the world stage as a result of this.

GUTFELD: Tough. You know, Michael, he said, mission creep, and I was just
thinking to you. That's --

MICHAEL LOFTUS, LOFTUSPARTY.COM FOUNDER: Yes, that's it. It's like we're on
a mission and I'm a critic. I see what you did.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Thank you very much.

LOFTUS: Why do you hurt me every time?

GUTFELD: Because every day that you're on I tell you to get dressed.

LOFTUS: You know what --

GUTFELD: I show up looking like a dirt ball.

LOFTUS: I've been thinking -- I've been thinking about this problem. And
here's what I need.

GUTFELD: OK.

LOFTUS: A multimillion dollar contract.

GUTFELD: There you go.

LOFTUS: And a personal assistant.

GUTFELD: There you go.

LOFTUS: To go, how about this, how about that? So can we make that happen?

GUTFELD: Yes. Tomorrow it'll all be set up, come to my office.

LOFTUS: OK.

GUTFELD: So what do you make of this?

LOFTUS: I'm making this, this is all on that this said that General Milley.

GUTFELD: Yes. Milley.

LOFTUS: Yes. I don't care about anything else that happened. You had one
job, dude. This is all on General Milley. He's Milli Vanilli. That's how
you remember how to say it. Like how Milli Vanilli pretended to be pop
stars, but when Showtime came they couldn't do it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: That's General Milley. He looks like a general, he's got the
uniform, but he can't do the job.

GUTFELD: I could see your brain workshopping this on Milley, it's a lot
like Milli Vanilli. Well, can I connect them together? Milli Vanilli. They
lip sync. He's the lip synching generals.

LOFTUS: It's perfect.

GUTFELD: Also, but let's face it. He thought he was so enlightened with --

LOFTUS: Oh my goodness. Oh, yes. I've read books by this. I've read books
on woke. I've read books on critical. Hey, how about you crack a book on
winning a war? Or how to retreat successfully? I want to say this publicly
like, like legit. For the men and women who served in the military?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: None of this is on you.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: This is the (BLEEP) in charge. You were failed by them.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: I think that opinion to Joe, if you talk to anybody in the
service, it will basically say exactly that, right?

LOFTUS: Absolutely. They have to. They have to. It's -- well --

GUTFELD: Well, we spent years not thinking about it. That's what -- I
always feel like our Afghanistan muscle was flabby, right?

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Yes, it -- I was -- I forgot about them. I looked at
the Taliban like Radiohead. Like, I hadn't thought about them since 2005.

GUTFELD: Who makes better music?

DEVITO: Almost every other band.

GUTFELD: He's going to Taliban.

DEVITO: Taliban. Maybe?

MILLS: They're early stuff.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

DEVITO: And people wondering like --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Go ahead.

DEVITO: Didn't we train the army enough for -- what a shame. They're just
weeks away from finishing the sensitivity training?

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: The Afghan army.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: But now -- I mean, there's a reason why they call Afghanistan the
graveyard of empires. So other people had their shot. Good luck, China.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: You're next up to take your shot, it -- trying to rule this lawless
region. And now the Taliban is out there partying like it's 1499. They're
going to have a great time. And what really bothered me was I think we
should have approached us the way approach dating. Do what you have to do.
Declare victory and leave.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

DEVITO: We should have been out of there five years.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Gotten rid of al Qaeda, control the situation and left.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: This nation building is ridiculous. And I would have agreed with
what the President said today about how we're not going to be there forever
and all that stuff.

GUTFELD: Right.

LOFTUS: I would have agree with that. But if you look at the way we left,
there's no way you can look at that chaos and say, that's the way you want
it to go down. He was telling us just weeks ago that none of that was going
to happen.

GUTFELD: That was just -- his speech was fantastic. If it was two months
ago.

DEVITO: Yes.

GUTFELD: But now it's a straw man argument. It's not about leaving. It's
about how you left. And he didn't -- he didn't even assess how you left. He
was saying, it's time and he -- and the statement about I don't want it to
be a fifth president's problem. And I thought that was really good. But it
doesn't matter because it's a problem that happened under you. Kat,
Afghanistan, as Joe said, is the graveyard of empires, you are the
graveyard of boyfriends. So you --

TIMPF: I've been -- I'm married to a veteran.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's right. Yes.

TIMPF: Yes.

LOFTUS: But a veteran of what?

GUTFELD: A veteran of her marriage.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Of the war in Afghanistan.

LOFTUS: OK. There you go.

GUTFELD: I want to thank you for this service as your husband.

TIMPF: Yes. I thank him every day.

LOFTUS: He's got a purple heart.

GUTFELD: And large too.

TIMPF: I will be completely serious here, actually. And that we do need
accountability for the people who are in charge here. I don't mean a little
bit about Trump, or Bush or Obama. That's a distraction from the
accountability that we really need for the people who were in charge of
this. My husband when he was in Afghanistan 12 years ago, said he knew that
what they were trying to do was never going to work.

And he had very lot less information that people at the top. Then 2019
Washington Post gets so documents, we find out lo and behold, they did
know, all these guys thought they knew and they still kept coming out. And,
you know, giving these rosy pronouncements of what was going on over there.
They're getting promoted, they're sitting up, you know, the boards of
companies and my husband's been very upset saying, hey, you know, I agreed
that I would have given my life for this country.

And all these people at the top cared more about their power and the money
in their pockets than they cared about his life. I mean, he lost he went to
West Point, lost four classmates in Afghanistan alone. There needs to be an
investigation if there would have been any failure of the I mean a trillion
dollars equipping and training these people and it all falls apart so
quickly like this.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: This were anything else? There would have been investigation,
accountability, but because just the military industrial complex props,
everything up, props, everything up. They're getting away with it. We're
talking about huge amount of money talking about human lives, and there's
no actual responsibilities. It's disgusting.

GUTFELD: You know what it is. The analogy is the building in Miami that --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Yes. I saw that on The Five.

GUTFELD: Did you?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Is that there?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Oh wow. Is that --

TIMPF: I said if a building fell down like this --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: -- people died then there would be an investigation.

GUTFELD: Yes. Up next liberals give criminals 1000 bucks but not the law
abiding life.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I used to think ATM fees were the worst. But now I checked for men
with hatchets first. And New York offers criminals a bonus if they promise
not to harm us. This weekend in New York, a man was attacked by a hatchet
wielding bad man who wasn't Stuart Varney. While getting money out of an
ATM. The guy got whacked in the head and the thigh but he survived. He
still had to pay the $2.00 ATM fee though.

The larcenous lumberjack got away possibly on a giant Blue Ox. Wow, that
was quiet. Well, it's just another day in New York where you might want to
use traveler's checks from now on. Sadie, stop this kind of stuff. Well, if
you're a New York Mayor Bill de Blasio you pay the criminals cash ahead of
time and hope for the best. Seriously Mayor Lurch is launching a program
that will pay people 1000 bucks a month not to shoot people.

The program run through an outfit called advanced piece pairs formerly
incarcerated mentors with young people deemed at risk for gun crime. I'm
not sure how these mentors feel about hatchets though. In addition to the
$1,000 stipend, they also get bonuses for meeting goals like getting a
driver's license or passing the GED. Well if they don't get murdered first
$4,000 by their mentor. What do you make, Loftus? You live around here. Is
this -- could this actually work?

LOFTUS: No.

GUTFELD: All right.

LOFTUS: It's --

GUTFELD: I wanted to ask.

LOFTUS: It's like de Blasio is the -- like the worst mayor in the history
of mayors. It's like how can I turn this into what I wouldn't do with a
toddler?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: This is like paying a kid, don't -- hey, don't have a tantrum in
the toy store and I'll get you a (INAUDIBLE) like how do you get paid to
not commit crimes? And is it just -- I'm not shooting people? Is the
hatchet guy upset now? Because he's like, I -- oh, if you were to give me
1000 bucks, I wouldn't have hatchet that guy at the ATM. It's horrible.

GUTFELD: I just love -- I love Cory how that we've lowered the stand --
standards for civilization. Like we kind of just expected you not to kill
people for free.

LOFTUS: But that's the whole point. I mean, we literally encourage societal
degeneracy. I mean, thank God is in New York because if it was in Chicago,
Mayor Lightfoot would go absolutely broke.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. That's true. Kat, can you think any of any
scenario where giving people cash for not committing a crime is a good
idea?

TIMPF: No, because you're not really giving them cash for not committing a
crime. You're giving them cash for not getting caught committing a crime.
Like isn't there already a pretty strong incentive to not get caught
murdering someone? You go to jail forever.

GUTFELD: There you go.

TIMPF: Yes, I think you already do that, right?

GUTFELD: No, no. We don't.

LOFTUS: No, we don't anymore.

GUTFELD: We don't. That's the reason, that's the thing. It's because we
can't guarantee that the person who murders Joe DeVito after this show
which will happen at some point, I don't
know when.

TIMPF: The article -- the program describes them as young men involved in
lethal firearms and fences. It's like murderers, you're referring to
murderers.

GUTFELD: Yes. Now I have a question. Could you sign up as a potential
murderer? Like just say that you went to -- what's is it called, advanced
peace?

TIMPF: Oh.

GUTFELD: Kat. If you go there and you go look, I've been thinking about,
I'm a woman. I'm white. I am, you know, I'm thinking about possibly
murdering somebody like can you apply prevent -- like, preeminently? Is
that what it's called? No, not --

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: I want to do it now.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Have a gangbanger adopt me and get a $1000.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TIMPF: I am going to try.

MILLS: I want to go sign up for that.

(CROSSTALK)

MILLS: I'm going to go on a spree. So start this look, I've been trained
heavily, I think I should double the fees.

GUTFELD: But the thing is, think about if the person, if you're the person
behind the desk, and you say no, I'm not going to pay you and then you kill
somebody. It's on that person.

TIMPF: That'll be on that.

GUTFELD: This is very interesting, Joe.

DEVITO: I'm tired of people saying that young people have no potential.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And they do have the potential to be murderers. I think it's great
that de Blasio has moved this away into some sort of extortion based
economy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Where that look, if you're getting paid to not work, and you're
getting paid to not kill people, that's about two G's a week.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: Just for that. Now, let's say you apply for a PPP loan to not open
a small business.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Now you're showing some initiative.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: That's what I like. I also like this guy with the hatchet attack. I
-- I'm an old school guy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And I like that. And it shows we can no longer call these crimes
gun violence.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Now that we're using middle aged -- ages, medieval weapons where
we're hitting people with hatchets and mesas and oh, get away from me with
that Javelin, and I'm trying to make a withdrawal here. So --

GUTFELD: Is it possible that maybe he had an axe to grind?

DEVITO: Oh.

GUTFELD: What -- did I hurt somebody? Did I hurt somebody by making that
joke? Possibly he was upset or maybe he was looking to grind his ex.

LOFTUS: What about the victim?

GUTFELD: The victim is going to survive. I hope.

LOFTUS: I hope so and I hope he gets so much attention.

(CROSSTALK)

MILLS: That's a good question. What does the victim get?

(CROSSTALK)

MILLS: The criminal gets a $1000, what does the victim get?

GUTFELD: OK. But you know what's -- what -- here's the true irony of this
whole thing is that Rudy Giuliani 25 years ago, put people out of business
for this. It was called the mafia. The mafia would take money from you so
you didn't kill them.

DEVITO: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: We put it -- now we're rewarding that behavior before we used to
put those people behind bars.

DEVITO: Please don't arrest people from squeegees.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And now hatchets are like, well, we'll put them in a program.

GUTFELD: Put them in a -- he gets 1000 bucks. All right. Up next capitalism
is no longer in style, say Democrats prefer socialist by.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It's not just snark. Democrats really do love marks. Yes, they
prefer America's fate to be dependent on the state. A recent Fox News poll.
My favorite by the way. Shows 59 percent of Democratic registered voters
had a positive view of socialism. Perhaps they over sampled Hollywood
millionaires. Compared to just 49 percent who felt the same about
capitalism. But look at the Republicans, eight percent held a favorable
opinion of socialism.

They must have been all senators who voted for the infrastructure bill.
Chuckles. Among Dems, it's a big shift from a year ago, when only 40
percent of them thought highly of Socialism, seems like forcing people not
to work and giving them free money. It's as popular with Democrats as it is
with the teachers unions. Meanwhile, Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders is
trying to sell a $3.5 trillion budget bill to address wealth inequality,
Medicare expansion, free pre-k, free community college free everything
except of course free thought.

And as Karl Marx once said, Democracy is the road to Socialism, which is my
least favorite Bob Hope movie. There you go. Somebody is older than 50. And
it sounds better than Socialism is the road to gulags. But it's like my
racist neighbor, Sal, once said, if you got nothing to say, don't say
anything at all, unless it's about the blacks or the Jews. Boy, he was
racist. This proved my point. Thank you, Michael. Joe, since when is being
a capitalist been a bad thing? It's harder to explain in Socialism, isn't
it?

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Yes, I think Capitalism's flaw is that it's been so
successful people can have delusions of Socialism replacing it.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: It's made us so comfortable. And it annoys me when people bring up,
look at the Scandinavian countries, those countries will tell you: we are
not socialist countries.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: They're straight up about that. So, yes, I think it's a shame that
Capitalism is the word that bothers people, switch it over to free markets,
because that's the word free in it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And we've already done the A-B split experiment, it was called the
Berlin Wall. And traffic was going one way and I'm getting so annoyed. I
had to keep saying to people that people weren't on the western side
saying, let us in. We want to get into some of that great Socialism you
have over there. It doesn't work.

GUTFELD: It's the easiest Mathematical equation. Look at them going this
way.

DEVITO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Kat, I have a theory that Socialism is like the dolphin of
ideologies. People think it's nice, because it's always smiling, but it's
savage.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.

GUTFELD: Whereas Capitalism is the shark of ideologies. Everybody thinks
it's ruthless. But in fact, it's just a really nice animal that doesn't
look very happy.

TIMPF: Yes, its popularity is basically the branding so good that it blinds
you to the actual facts of the situation, like how Kylie Jenner, she has,
you know, a sponsorship for Sugar Bear Hair Gummies, even though the reason
her hair looks so good is because her hair is a wig.

GUTFELD: Is it?

TIMPF: Yes. Of course it is.

GUTFELD: Wait is that true?

TIMPF: Yes, of course, it's true.

DEVITO: No, it's not. She's really pretty.

GUTFELD: You're destroying a fantasy.

TIMPF: Well, I'm sorry about that. That sounds like a personal problem. The
same way of people's -- they branded it as if you don't care about
Socialism, and you love Capitalism, that you don't care about poor people,
when the fact is, no system has lifted more people out of poverty than
Capitalism in the history of the world. And those are the facts.

GUTFELD: Yes. Cory, OK, let's say you're on that you're on the campaign
trail, and some kids asks you, like, what is -- why is Socialism bad? And
why is Capitalism? Good? And you're obviously the cameras on you, and this
is that moment. What would you do?

CORY: So, basically, like right now?

TIMPF: Yes. There are cameras here.

CORY MILLS (R-FL), CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: The bottom line is, is that I
tell people all the time. You can vote for Socialism and communism once but
you have to fight your way out of it. You know, the Democrats have been
fantastic at going forward, and essentially creating this inundation in our
educational system, where they create this idea that we're just like your
parents, we're going to continue to give you free stuff and take care of
you long after everyone else has stopped. That's why they want to lower
voting ages.

That's why, you know, during the fall of Afghanistan, we got Joe Biden,
we're worried about increasing welfare by 25 percent. They want to create
government dependency, so that the people have to continue to come back to
the government and they can't overthrow the majority. That's why they're
buying tens of millions of acres in the Midwest, so they can take over food
production and our livestock harvesting.

So, again, we have to come in like all of her you know, do have a little
bit more grocer? That's exactly what the government wants because it gives
them the overpower the Democrats have been fighting for, for decades.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, and to think to, Loftus, is that the -- the easy
thing about Socialism is you never have to get to step two. Like step one
is free. And step two is no one ever bothers to explain how it happens.
It's like, it's like a college kids never -- it's like the parents, they
just assume it comes from daddy, like the money to pay off things.

MICHAEL LOFTUS, COMEDIAN: Yes, it's a beautiful system on paper.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: It's like you guys we'll all just share, whoa, I want to do it. I'm
so tired of these polls. I'm so tired of the stupidity, do it! We should
have a National lottery one of our state's just goes full tilt Socialism --

GUTFELD: California.

LOFTUS: Let's do it.

GUTFELD: Or New York.

LOTFUS: Let's make it official though, they get cut off and they got to do
it. And everybody who loves the idea of Socialism can move there. And then
when they suffer, that's when we have Trump too. We build another wall. We
keep them in. Then we televise that it's a TV show. We make money off --

GUTFELD: And we make Kurt Russell, the president.

LOFTUS: And then we rescue him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LOFTUS: Good Lord, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: All right, up next, we're getting rowdy with Trey Gowdy.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Did Biden ever have a plan for Afghanistan? Or eight months in and
this administration needs resuscitation? The only thing that spiked higher
than crime however, is this next guest's hair. Joining me now: Former South
Carolina Congressman and Host of "Sunday Night in America" with Trey Gowdy,
Trey Gowdy.

TREY GOWDY, FORMER REPUBLICAN REPRESENTATIVE FOR SOUTH CAROLINA: Greg, how
are you?

GUTFELD: I am awesome. Now, that I have your big giant head on my stage.
Congratulations on your show. It's doing amazing. You're a natural.
Everybody loves you. All right, enough kissing your butt.

GOWDY: Look, I was surprised as you are that people watch the show.

GUTFELD: Oh, no. So, I, I'm just interested -- you always have a unique
take on things and what I was always curious, what would you say about
what's happening right now in Afghanistan? Because it seems like there's
no, there's no easy answer anywhere, but we know that what just happened is
awful.

GOWDY: You know, Greg, I mean, I started yesterday, Australia with this
question, how would we look into the eyes of the, of the women and men who
lost their lives or, or suffered grievous injury? Would we tell them that
was mission accomplished? Would we say it was Mission failed? Or would we
say it was mission abandon? And I think we need to ask ourselves that
question. Why did we go? Did we accomplish our purpose? I think everybody
agrees the exit has been fundamentally flawed. But, but the mission itself,
did we do what we set out to do? That's what vexes me right now.

GUTFELD: Yes. OK. So, if you, if you ask that question, would you, OK, so
we killed bin Laden. And I say we. Thank you. You're welcome. And, and
actually, I think we're having Rob O'Neill on tomorrow to talk about it.
But what, what's wrong, we're in this prison of two ideas: stay or go? When
in fact, why couldn't we just redefine the mission into something that I
would call terror control? The idea that like, basically, it's like pest
control, you go out every year, you spray it down, you kill the terrorists,
and then you come and you wait until they're back again? Why can't why
wasn't that an option of this idea? Just of just redefining the mission?

GOWDY: Well, it should be and I would add to your pest control idea,
intelligence gathering. Because Afghanistan is situated, surrounded by
people that were really interested in what they're up to.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GOWDY: So, it's a wonderful place to gather intelligence, which then begs
the question, why did our intelligence fail so dramatically as it relates
to the exit?

GUTFELD: Well, that OK, then let me that you, I was going to ask you the
question that you just posed, answer yourself, Mr. Gowdy, f you dare. Why
did they --

GOWDY: I don't know. I will tell you this. John Radcliffe is coming to my
home in two days. And that's what I'm going to ask him to the Former
Director of National Intelligence, it may be that they collected the
intelligence passed it on, and it was ignored, because I think we know that
to be true with a military advice. Or it may be that it just represents
another intelligence failure, like we had in Libya, like we had with
weapons of mass destruction.

Keep in mind, people in the intelligence community get very, very upset
when we ask for evidence. They like the word assessment, we have assess.
That means it's our opinion. I like the word evidence. Right. So what
evidence Did you rely on and thinking the Taliban was not going to do what
they've been doing for the last several weeks.

GUTFELD: Yes, I mean, it and I said this on "THE FIVE," that we had 20
years to think about this moment. And everybody knew that the moment was
happening. In fact, some of the people said, oh, we were just surprised it
happened so quickly, but they assumed that it was all going to fall apart.
I'm going to wait 20 years, Kat brings up a point that it is surprisingly,
very cogent being sober tonight.

Is that like, if this were in a private enterprise, everybody would be
fired? Can people add -- is there some kind of consequence to this, to this
failure, this incompetence? In the, I guess, in the bureaucratic level, or
like all these experts or commanders? Is there a way that this gets
reviewed and people lose their jobs? Or what? I don't know.

GOWDY: I think it would only be weeks from now or a face saving measure, so
President Biden can kind of move past this issue he can, he can either make
the, the ODNI or the Secretary of State resign, and then in hopes that we
kind of say where they must have been the blame, but not him. I would also
frankly, Greg, include myself among those that failed because I was in
Congress for eight years.

GUTFELD: Wow. Yes.

GOWDY: We're spending a trillion dollars. And so, what's the return on
investment? A trillion dollars and you have women and children being
killed? You have Afghan translators families being held hostage even though
the translators here what was the return on investment for a trillion
dollars?

GUTFELD: Yes, no, it's, it's, it's devastating. We talked about gathering
intelligence for 20 years, and we it didn't help. All right, right now I'm
getting really upset. I probably won't sleep tonight. Thanks to you. All
right. Thank you, Trey Gowdy. Everybody watch his show. It's fantastic. Up
next, wide Uber Eats, L.J. Cudler to hit the streets.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: They bid him adieu over his anti-mask view. And NFL Q.B. said no
masks and Uber said well, we'll pass. Former NFL quarterback in my
racquetball partner Jay Cutler has been dropped from an Uber Eats ad
campaign because he expressed support for those protesting mask mandates in
schools. It's one drive cut short on Cutler that didn't involve an
interception. I don't understand that joke. So, I left that in there
thinking you know, people who like sports will just start laughing
uproariously no one actually laughed uproariously.

They just said either I don't get it or it wasn't that funny. Uber Eats
said, that they prefer to partner with those who support the company's
mission to help get as many people vaccinated as possible. And here I
thought they delivered food. Cutler shrug it off saying being dropped frees
up my weekend. Before adding, I tend to cook at home anyway. Well, after
playing for the Bears, he seems used to things being dropped. See that's
another --

LOFTUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Another football joke.

LOFTUS: I love it. It's like you're doing a late night comedy trust game.
Like --

GUTFELD: I'm not sure if this is funny. It's like I'm doing jokes in
another language. It's sports language. Yes, he also suggested that he may
run for school board in Williamson County, Tennessee, and they're happy to
have him run as long as he doesn't pass. And now I'm understanding it. But
hey, you know what, there aren't many ways to punish a guy with millions of
dollars and a beautiful wife. It's why I stuffed my underpants with steel
wool. Now, that's a joke I wrote. You see, I don't write sports jokes. I
wrote disgusting, weird sadomasochistic fantasy jokes. You know, I was
thinking about Uber Eats Michael and I immediately thought of you because
you drive at night?

LOFTUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Which is why you're always dressed in sweaty looking like a
arsonist. What are your thoughts?

LOFTUS: I said, Well, I'm conflicted. I liked it. I liked it. Cutler stands
up for what he believes. Yes. And he's like, he doesn't believe in the
mask, that's great. But listen, if your Uber Eats, I don't think you want a
quarterback spokesman anyway. And if you do, you don't want Cutler,
raggedly oh, that delivery went to the wrong house. So, that one didn't
make it. You want someone who's going be on target.

GUTFELD: That's the -- I get what you did there and that was really clever.

LOFTUS: Right. I tried to work in a Milli-Vanilli thing, but I thought --

TIMPF: Quarterbacks throw the ball.

GUTFELD: That's right. Good for you. Would you like to add something else
to this discussion? What are your thoughts on him losing his gig because he
is anti-mask mandate, Kat Timpf?

TIMPF: I don't think that's that controversial. If you look at the actual
evidence, in terms of masks and school children, it's really there's no
evidence that root costs are worth it. There's no evidence that potentially
setting back kids developmentally, socially, the physical discomfort,
there's no evidence that it's worth it when it comes to transmission. So, I
don't understand why a logic based stance is a controversial one.

GUTFELD: That's an excellent point, Kat.

TIMPF: Thank you, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes, well done. All right, Cory, what are your thoughts on this?
But this is probably I would call this the news of the day probably, the
biggest story of the day, without a question.

MILLS: Well, I agree with, Kat. So, I've got a six year old son. And I
remember all last year, they were trying to force them to sit for six and
eight hours with a mask on, even though they had the lowest transmission
rate, even though they're saying that, you know, the vaccine itself impacts
the children and we don't know what the long term effects of it.

Again, this is another example of get woke, go broke. I think it's going to
backfire on them though, I wouldn't say that Cutler's the best that I would
have chosen. Maybe go with a Brady or even attempt Tim Tebow. But you know,
the point is, is that again, this is more of the, if we don't like you,
this is Cancel Culture 101.

GUTFELD: Yes, and they act like oh, no, you're free to do whatever you
want. But now when you start controlling the companies and scaring the
companies into being more woke so they will fire you. You drive for Uber
still right, Joe?

DEVITO: No, I just picked people up for and paying attention to which car
showed up. I am wearing my cabbie hat though.

GUTFELD: Yes, you're almost dressed as bad as Jimmy Failla.

DEVITO: Yes, I say where are you going, Mack? I think it's funny how Jay
Cutler completed is not care about this deal that he has with Uber Eats.
Because, yes, I don't use your product and I don't really care what's going
on.

GUTFELD: Yes.
 DEVITO: I tell what I do like about Jay Cutler is that his divorce? He sued
his wife to get half of her money, which I thought was a false move.

GUTFELD: What does she do for a living?

DEVITO: She's some sort of reality show nonsense.

MILLS: It's Cavalary.

GUTFELD: Oh, Christine Cavalary. She was in The Hills.

LOTFUS: That's right.

GUTFELD: Yes. Remember The Hills?

LOFTUS: Yes. I like how you pretend you don't know.

TIMPF: Yes, I got as well as you do.

LOFTUS: And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to.

GUTFELD: They won an Emmy.

MILLS: Was upset about the wig for Jenner, but yes, she doesn't know who
Christine Cavalary is.

DEVITO: Greg, can we pause it, you were on The Hills. But American
football, you had no idea.

GUTFELD: The Hill, the guy that was really obnoxious?

TIMPF: Spencer and Heidi.

GUTFELD: Spencer and Heidi.

MILLS: Spidey.

GUTFELD: By the way, the early, early Trump supporters and everybody hated
them. Remember that?

LOFTUS: That's right.

GUTFELD: That I remember that quite well. Uber spent amount of time vetting
their drivers as they do take --

LOFTUS: Uber is like, do you ever record? Yes. Go for it. We don't have a
gun with you.

GUTFELD: The bottom line is to your point, we're driving all opinions
underground. And when opinions go underground, they actually intensify,
it's like they're like, they're like potatoes.

LOFTUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Don't potatoes grow underground?

TIMPF: They sure do.

DEVITO: But why is it --

GUTFELD: YouTubers. Tubers. Uber Tubers.

LOFTUS: Uber Tubers. You've got an axe to grind for YouTubers.

GUTFELD: They deliver potatoes. They deliver potatoes in masks. Because
they have all these eyes? What's happening to me? All right, don't go away,
we'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Cory, where can we find you?

MILLS: @CoryMillsFL at Twitter.

GUTFELD: Excellent. Joe?

DEVITO: Friday the 27th at The Brokerage on Long Island.

GUTFELD: Oh fantastic. I believe that's a comedy club. Michael?

LOFTUS: The Freedom to Laugh Tour kicks off next week, Vegas, the MGM, then
I'm going to be in Southern California and Texas. 

GUTFELD: Wow, there you go. Kat, sorry. Set your DVRs every night so you
never miss an episode. Cory Mills, Joe DeVito, Loftus, Kat, Trey Gowdy, our
studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next I'm
Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

Content and Programming Copyright 2021 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL
RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2021 VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. All
materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not
be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast
without the prior written permission of VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. You
may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from
copies of the content.