'Gutfeld!' on cancel culture, Biden's Afghanistan 'mess', American mental health

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Gutfeld: Cancel culture comes after 'Jeopardy!'

'Gutfeld!' panel discusses the firing of the game show's executive producer Mike Richards

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!" August 31, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated. 

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: All right. So after this giant mess in Afghanistan, what's the response from the White House? Boy, did we screw up, but look how we fixed it and talk about fixed. This is a mess so screwed up that will have reverberations for many years, which means the person responsible, probably won't see the end results. But still, the White House will say, look at this humanitarian feat of strength. 

It's more impressive than Joe protecting us from corn pop. But we got out 100,000 plus people before the deadline the Taliban wanted. Yes. Spirit Airline has nothing on us. It's a weird contrast and one hand we're evacuating thousands of Afghans, on the other we say the Taliban is changed. So why is everyone fleeing if they changed? So, do we have anything to fear from the Taliban other than their fashion sense? 

They're new and improve like an Apache helicopter we left behind? Sure, they just banned music and killed a folk singer. It's the terror version of Footloose. I guess the Taliban prefers their policing sounds to come from goats. So are things changing? Well, check out this anchorman reading the news. There, Taliban sensors don't even bother to stand off camera. You can tell the anchors really looking forward to a bright future under his new leaders. 

Here's a tip, buddy. Don't play any music. This isn't CNN where when you screw up, you get a vacation. But I'm not wanting to point fingers. Or am I? 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Greg points the finger. Starring fingers.

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

GUTFELD: Yes, it's time once again to point fingers. After all, that's why we have them. It's why humans are in charge instead of seals. They don't have fingers, Emily. They have fins. People say, Greg, it's too soon for that. That's what they said about the premiere of this show. And I didn't listen. But if we weren't calling out this B.S., then who will? And think of all the great finger pointers in history. Some of our greatest coaches pointed fingers. Those are coaches. 

So did every member of the Four Tops. Your mom at the aquarium Look, a whale, a whale. Every doctor about to do a prostate exam. Even the image is arousing. And let's not forget everyone's favorite alien. That's right. He pointed a finger and what have Uncle Sam, a great finger pointer. And of course, the greatest finger pointer of all, God. So back to this mess. You only deserve credit if you do a thorough job of cleaning it up. 

But if you left hundreds of Americans behind, you didn't clean it up. It's like how a guy cleans up after an all-night poker game. You threw out the beer bottles into pizza boxes and say you're good. Now you still got to get all those stains out of the rug before your wife gets home, or at least move the sofa over it. This isn't nitpicking This is about American lives. And if you left it behind, you got to fix it. 

And maybe our government is and not telling us, fine. But consider the people in charge. The ones who have a history of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. No one's blaming the troops who don't make the decisions and are in danger. We're blaming the politicians who made decisions and then went on vacation. Meanwhile, the White House and the media will redefine your outrage against Biden as directed against the military. 

If you're mad about the disastrous pull out, Joe, pretend you're mad that we're ending a war. His entire speech was bait and switch. I love how he brags about the withdrawal while also blaming Trump. So it's a success unless it's a failure, and then that's on Trump. Now the decision made by Trump was pretty sound, it's Biden's follow through -- follow through that we're all pissed off about. 

And we aren't pissed at the military, except for generals pushing wokeness while saying the Taliban has no chance. We're upset with the administration, who like a drunk hiker lost in the woods, chose the worst possible path and put everyone at risk. Looking back, it takes a specific genius to make that many mistakes. It's like flipping a coin and getting heads 100 times in a row. How can you be that consistent? It's impossible for things to go wrong this perfectly unless it was baked into the plan. 

You abandon an airbase before evacuating Americans. You hand over a pile of weaponry to our enemies making the Taliban better arm than the NRA. You have the President telling us everything would be fine. Knock on wood. Yes, knock on wood only if you can find John Kerry's face. Talk about a drastic escalation in the use of knock on wood. Usually I save that for hoping the cafeteria is still has soup. 

Then you see Afghans falling from planes, but hey, that was five days ago. Remember that? So 100 times shorter than Russia gate. An amazing answer. One I wouldn't use when you're arrested or caught cheating on your spouse. Then we give a list of Americans to the Taliban. I'm still unsure what that means. But I doubt they're going to become pen pals. Then we get 13 dead from a homicidal bomber. 

 Who was checking that bomber in? Was it the Taliban? It matters when you then hear that they offered control of Kabul to Biden who declined it. He probably thought, hell, I can't control my eyelids, how am I going to control an airport? So he wanted the Taliban to have more control of Afghanistan than the Taliban wanted. And then as the caskets of our dead were unloaded from a plane at Dover Air Force Base, Joe Biden checked his watch. 

He took 36 hours to call back Boris Johnson. But suddenly, he's in a hurry. Look, I won't point any fingers here. Because if I were Joe Biden, I'd be checking my watch too. How much longer do I have to do this job? He's wondering, believe me, so we're weak. 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period. 

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. She talks faster than an auctioneer who has to pee. "OUTNUMBERED" co-hosts Emily Compagno. The buck stops here and he brought his hair. Radio host, Buck Sexton. He's got a face for radio and a wardrobe for the blind. Fox News radio host, Jimmy Fallia. And he's like Lance Armstrong, really successful but cheats on drug tests. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. 

All right, Buck. I'm going to go to you first because you served in the CIA in Afghanistan and your hair served in Nam, right? 

BUCK SEXTON, FORMER CIA ANALYST: True. In World War II. 

GUTFELD: Yes. So, what do you make of this botched? This botched, whatever you want to call it? 

SEXTON: Well, we're saying it's botched now because it is. And we saw it. And they couldn't hide it from us, in part because the Taliban doesn't have the technology or the ability to shut down. People were texting me in real time about what was going on on the ground there. They were sending photos around. So we saw what a mess it was. It was clearly not planned. But just give this a few days. 

GUTFELD: Right. 

SEXTON: Because now that we're at the point where we're out now there's still 100 plus Americans on the ground. The narrative is going to switch very quickly to Joe Biden is the guy that got things done. He's the one that made the tough call here. And the fact that they were talking about a 300,000 person plus army that evaporated that we lost soldiers in Afghanistan that we had. 

All the disasters we've seen, will be quickly forgotten and they're already -- you started to see some blips on CNN about the insurrection commission. 

GUTFELD: Right. 

SEXTON: And now they're subpoenaing the Trump family records. They're going to move past this as quickly as possible and the new narrative is going to be gas lighting on a thermonuclear scale. It will be the Moab of gas lighting from the Biden administration. 

GUTFELD: You -- you're in the CIA, how did we get -- I love the fact that Joe Biden will get accolades after being a V.P. for eight years while, you know, presiding over Afghanistan. But why was the -- why was the intelligence so wrong? 

SEXTON: Well, because the people in the intelligence community who tell those in charge, what they want to hear are the ones who get to keep talking to the people in charge. The ones that get into the Oval Office, the ones that write for the for the PDB regularly, it's just like every other bureaucracy or corporate, you know, the butt kissers essentially get promoted and move up. And the good people often feel like they can't handle it. And so they leave and get on late night T.V., that's what happens. 

GUTFELD: Oho. Was that a jab at your own self? 

SEXTON: Something like that? 

GUTFELD: Yes, Yes, Yes, I know. But you're right. It's like inside every massive major project, you need to make it sound like it's going well, Emily. So that they don't stop the project. So you find data that supports it, for example, you know, they sabotage 27 Humvees, they don't forget to tell you there were like 27,000 of them or something like that. What do you mean -- where do you -- what is your brain rest at this point? 

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Well, look, bottom line, we have a commander in chief who abandoned Americans, he abandoned allies, and orphans and women and working dogs to meet an arbitrary deadline that he set. He surrendered all of these lives, and like billions of dollars worth of equipment to the Taliban, and had the audacity to do a victory lap today. Touting it as this amazing, you know, airlift is happening. 

The airlift occurs after a hurricane, it doesn't occur in the vacuum of a Taliban takeover that you created. He blamed everyone else on the planet but himself, including our Afghan allies who lost 66,000 of their own people alongside our 2500 and then we lost 13 more under his watch. And then speaking of watch, as you pointed out, he checks his watch each time a coffin comes out of the plane during a dignified transfer. 

And we are supposed to think that this person has the gravitas, the -- anything, the modicum of responsibility needed to hold this office. So to me and this final day of a 20-year war, other than endless gratitude for everyone who served and honoring every life who has sacrificed who did not die in vain during those 20 years, I personally feel nothing but ashamed that that person is my president. 

GUTFELD: Strong emotion. Now, Jimmy, your jacket is almost as bad as that withdrawal. But I like how you matched your shoes with it. 

JIMMY FAILLA, FOX NEWS RADIO HOST: I committed all the way in. 

GUTFELD: Yes. Where's the ice cream truck? 

FAILLA: It's around the block. You didn't tell me Biden was going to be here who wants the ice cream. 

GUTFELD: There you go. 

FAILLA: I do feel on some level you guys are being a little harsh to Joe Biden. 

GUTFELD: OK. 

GUTFELD: If you take like a 20,000-foot view of this, I mean, other than foreign policy COVID, the border inflation, gas prices, unity, race relations, the guy is doing a pretty good job. You know what I mean? Other than everything in the country, the guy's done a great job. Now this is embarrassing, and the brazen nature in which they lie to the public. It's all -- it really does bother me because on some level, they're talking to us as if we'll forget number one, which is pretty condescending. 

And number two, they're doing it with the assumption that the media is always going to be there for them. And we have learned that the media did try to create some distance between themselves and this because it was horrific. But it didn't stop them from doing what they do. Like Jen Psaki gets out there every day. And Jen Psaki did press for the Titanic, she would blame the iceberg on climate change and tell you the evacuation went great. 

GUTFELD: Yes. 

FAILLA: Like everybody's fine. Other than Leonardo DiCaprio, he's dead over there. 

GUTFELD: Yes. And there's no preconditions with the iceberg.

FAILLA: No, you don't have to negotiate. 

GUTFELD: We're talking to the ice berg right now. 

(CROSSTALK) 

GUTFELD: We're going to like, you know, we're thinking. 

FAILLA: Yes. 

GUTFELD: I'm going to just stop that joke there. 

FAILLA: But I know but to one point of the whole thing, and you were saying this earlier about the habit both ways mentality of Biden, OK? On one end, he wants you to believe it was successful. On the other end. Yes. He wants you to believe this is what Trump did. Now if that is to be the case. We're going to take him at his word. Joe Biden has rescinded every one of Donald Trump's policies through executive order. Why is this the one policy he kept if it was so bad? 

GUTFELD: Exactly. 

FAILLA: OK? He screwed this up. Joe Biden sucks. Bottom line. 

GUTFELD: No, but that is such a great point. Jimmy, just succeeded Emily on red me points by saying that. 

COMPAGNO: True. 

GUTFELD: Yes. That is true. So Kat, it's good to -- I'm glad that hot topic was open today and you're able to get your outfit. 

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I look -- I look so good. 

GUTFELD: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 

TIMPF: No. I look really, really good. 

(CROSSTALK) 

FAILLA: And I just want to be clear, it was Forever 31. 

COMPAGNO: God, you guys, she look amazing. 

(CROSSTALK) 

TIMPF: You know, Jimmy, you're right. You're far more attractive than I am. 

GUTFELD: This is -- this is the kind of debate we need to be having. You're slightly more attractive than Jimmy. 

TIMPF: Well, now you're fired. 

GUTFELD: Dammit, I walked right into that. 

FAILLA: You just set this up. 

GUTFELD: All right. We're not airing this episode. 

TIMPF: Oh. I look so good. Aside from how breathtakingly attractive that I am, yes, this is horrible. The whole speech was about how we can't nation build, which is something I agree with. 

GUTFELD: Right. 

TIMPF: But that's also something that I've always believed. 

GUTFELD: Yes. 

TIMPF: Which is very opposite to Joe Biden's, you know, decades-long campaign for nation building. 

GUTFELD: When did he change? 

TIMPF: He maybe had something to do with it there. And I just -- I agree with Buck, I want to -- I would love to see a couple people get fired. Because we can't nation build, doesn't work. We knew that sooner than 20 years. So who are all these yes, men? They're at the heads of all these companies, defense companies. They're on T.V. telling us what we should do. I'd like to see them get fired. 

And we cancel people for literally everything else except stuff that really matters. Let's cancel some of these people. 

SEXTON: I was in Afghanistan 10 years ago, every senior level military and bureaucrat and the federal government to talk to you was like we figured it out. We've got it. We know the next 12 months. And every person you talked to who's on their fifth tour or their seventh tour and knew the country all said no chance. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

SEXTON: No chance. That was a decade ago. 

GUTFELD: That is so depressing when you think about the amount of lives and blood treasure lost in 10 years. It's -- it makes you sick to your stomach. Up next. Biden's policies add insult to injury while his friends in the media rewrite history. 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) 

GUTFELD: They're grasping at straws to defend the flaws. Yes, when Biden's withdrawal fell flat the media remembered holy crap, he's a Democrat. With the Afghanistan exit complete the media is already rewriting history and some of the press don't seem to mind. Biden leaving weapons and citizens behind. Biden ally David Rothkopf writes to The Atlantic that the President deserves credit, not a blame. 

"Unlike his three immediate predecessors, he was in the in the Oval Office, already upset, all of whom also came to see the futility of the Afghan operation. Biden alone at the political courage to fully end America's involvement." How much more of that courage can we take? Biden's like a sea captain turning into the iceberg than bragging about free Wi-Fi on the lifeboats. So, is it courage or an uncritical media that asked more questions about ice cream than a little league team at a dairy queen? 

Meanwhile, the resident creeping ahead of the Washington Post, Max Boot says the crisis is our fault. He writes, I would point not only to Biden but to former President Donald Trump and to all of us, the people of America by carrying out this pell-mell, good word, withdrawal from Afghanistan. Our leaders. After all, we're only giving us what we wanted. That's right. Society is to blame. It turns out the real Taliban was all of us all along. 

That Hurricane Ida provided too much spin. But it's not just print media. Listen to this drivel. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: Biden didn't get us into this situation. OK? Many presidents have a hand in what should be blamed if you want to look at Afghanistan as a failure. Certainly, the most recent iteration was Trump deciding to negotiate with the Taliban. 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: So, publicans along with orange Julius Caesar would love for us to all conveniently forget Trump's role in the withdrawal from Afghanistan and blame it all on Biden. 

NICOLLE WALLACE, MSNBC HOST: For an American president to finally be completely aligned with such an overwhelming majority of what the American people think about Afghanistan is probably a tremendous relief to the American people. 

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

GUTFELD: Yes, it must be nice to have this mess on your hands but still have a media back you up when times get rough. Right, Joe? 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Look, look when things are going well you need someone who has your back. Your ace in the hole, right? Like Tom Brady, he had Gronk, I get the Washington Post. That's right. Sherlock Holmes had Watson. I got the Atlantic Magazine. Not everybody likes me. But you know, who does? The Lincoln project? These guys are really into me which is weird because they usually like younger guys. 

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

GUTFELD: Emily, have you been following any the coverage? I don't really follow it. So I, you know, I look at the clips. What do you think?

COMPAGNO: I only watch our network, Greg. 

GUTFELD: Very good. 

(CROSSTALK) 

COMPAGNO: Look, I think that as always, it's elite, it's condescending, and especially that Max Boot situation. That's such an oversimplification of the situation, obviously, you know, so much more than I do. But to reduce it to this, should we get out or stay in? Of course, everyone is going to say yes. And that's totally ignoring the complexities and the realities and maintaining a tiny security force, like the other 150 countries in which the America has our military presence that we can have so that we stave off some type of catastrophic terrorist attack, that will likely happen. 

So, my point is that, even though all of these sycophants like CNN worshipping the president, and they're going to keep talking each other up, and to your point earlier, they're going to move on from the coverage and try to talk about other things. Real Americans know exactly what went down that that the argument that wasn't about pulling out, it was about how you did it. The total surrender and abandonment of everyone there. 

And history will remember this administration for exactly what it is. And what it -- what it represents which is shame. 

GUTFELD: Kat, a lot of these people that Emily was talking about, they make a living off being in the prison of two ideas, right? 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: It's like either this or it's this. But if you go in between there, then you can't get a -- you can't get a hot take. That's what I get from all of this. Like every -- like I don't know anybody that I've talked to that was like, we shouldn't leave Afghanistan. No one said that. It's all about the how. 

COMPAGNO: Right. 

TIMPF: Absolutely. It's also about a lot of our views are of America's use were skewed on Afghanistan the entire time because of the, you know, top brass, the military and politicians were lying to us about it. 

GUTFELD: Yes. I think it's also that this -- they're looking at the story and I say, OK, what do I think about this? But saying, OK. How can I defend Biden here? That's how that kind of corruption can just exist so comfortably because we'll always have a whole team of people to defend even what's pretty clearly indefensible to any rational free thinking human being. 

FAILLA: You're welcome. 

GUTFELD: Jimmy, would you like to hear an awful analogy? 

FAILLA: I love one. I'm going to make one. 

GUTFELD: All right. Is that a terrible analogy? But in -- concerning the media, I think Afghanistan is the Britney Spears of countries. We knew something was wrong for 20 years but no one cared. So recently -- 

(CROSSTALK) 

COMPAGNO: Yes. Great analogy. 

FAILLA: Listen. 

GUTFELD: Thank you. See? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure. Because does that make her dad like the Taliban? I'm not sure. I couldn't -- I couldn't follow through. 

FAILLA: Well, I was just going to say that we've had Afghanistan under conservatorship for 20 years. 

GUTFELD: There you go. 

FAILLA: You know, the problem ended when we pulled out the way we did. When they try to conflate Joe Biden with the other presidents, what they're kind of leaving out conveniently, if you want another analogy is Joe Biden is the only pitcher that blames his (INAUDIBLE) on yesterday starter. You know, the guys who aren't, you pitch today, you jackass. And like, really, here's the problem. Everybody wanted to get out of Afghanistan. 

They're right to say that but nobody wanted to get out this way. Donald Trump negotiated a deal to withdraw. We didn't withdraw. We evacuated with people clicking, you know, to planes and babies getting thrown over fences. And like Max Boot, man, we really are living in the death of shame. Like we are -- I mean, it's so embarrassing. Like when he says, oh, but this is what the American people wanted. 

Yes. If you ask your parents to go to Disney World and they say yes, but then dad drinks a case of beer on I-95 and slams into Space Mountain and kills 10 people, you don't go, this is what you wanted, kid. 

GUTFELD: Exactly. 

FAILLA: They wanted Space Mountain. They didn't want, you know, this. 

GUTFELD: To get point, you know, Buck, it's going to be -- it's interesting that the same people that were essentially imploding, psychologically imploding over January 6 are going to be completely different about this. 

SEXTON: Yes. Well, this is what an actual insurrection looks like, by the way, armed people overthrowing a government. 

GUTFELD: Right. 

SEXTON: Taking over the buildings and actually instituting the power they're in, not a bunch of people generally taking selfies and, you know, some of them breaking things and throwing things at cops. But if you're looking at Max Boot and others here, I mean, they have to double down on this because what else they're going to say? We push for a war that now what exactly were the end results of, that we can say we're worth it. 

They've never seen a war that they weren't willing to send someone else to fight. And that's a -- an element that I think is somewhat bipartisan in the foreign policy complex that people need to look at more thoroughly announce and say, hold on a second. What's up with that? And as for Biden, he could fall asleep feeding squirrels, little bits of bread and somehow it would be Donald Trump's fault. That doesn't matter what it is. They will say that it is Donald Trump, 

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, the squirrel was on a low carb diet. 

SEXTON: Yes. 

GUTFELD: How dare you? And he got the bread from Donald Trump. I was trying to work on that one, but it didn't work. OK. Up next, he opened his mouth but now his career's gone south. 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) 

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: They're doing a jig because the guy lost his gig. Yes, his careers a wreck because he's no Alex Trebek. But losing one job didn't settle the score, so canceled culture cost him some more. Mike Richards has been canned, that means fired Emily, as the executive producer of "Jeopardy!" he's not actually put in a can. To add insult to injury, he was also fired from his head honcho gig at wheel of fortune. Now, he can't afford to buy a vowel. That's how I got a chuckle out of the audience.

JIMMY FAILLA, COMEDIAN: I like that, that was funny. 

GUTFELD: Got to work hard today. This comes a little more than a week after he stepped down as the new "Jeopardy!" host after past inappropriate comments were dug up at this radio get fired from pulling balls at Bingo Night at the villages. Mike did apologize but to the woke and the corporate heads terrified of the woke, it was too little too late. And apologies usually feed into cancel culture. James Holzhauer who won a boatload of money on "Jeopardy!" in a 32-game winning streak tweeted his condolences with this -- is it GIF or GIF. 

FAILLA: I go GIF, I think. 

GUTFELD: With this GIF, ding dong, the witch is dead, proving that we are a nation of children. As far as the next host, I nominate my Aunt Pam, now if she could just figure out how to pronounce the word iron. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How do you say this is not our iron? 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is not our arn -- our arn. 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is not our iron. 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is not our arn. 

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is not our iron. 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: This is not our arn. 

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

GUTFELD: It is true. I probably could have kept watching that for a long, long time. I don't know. All right, Jimmy, a permanent host still hasn't been announced. What about you? I mean, you dress like a game show host from the early 70s, you are like -- you are rocking the Gene Rayburn look.

FAILLA: I look like the check would bounce from the Game Show Network. It's a game show but it's like America's got issues. It's not -- 

GUTFELD: Yes. 

FAILLA: It's not good. First of all, you know what's amazing about this is the people who went out got this guy cancelled don't even watch the show. 

GUTFELD: Of course. 

FAILLA: That's how it always works. It's no "Jeopardy!" viewers. They don't even care. You know, I think it's so much more interesting, though, than the shows themselves that they should just be televising this than anything, anything. But how have we not gotten a game show spin off called Wheel of Canceled? 

GUTFELD: You're right. That is such a good idea. 

FAILLA: Who wouldn't watch that? I'd like to buy a book please. We can't. They canceled all the authors. I'm sorry. I would watch that. That's all I'm saying. 

GUTFELD: Yes, just be -- it would just be a wheel of people that are just on the cusp of being canceled. Which leads me to a very important question, Emily, is cancel culture really the solution to ambition? Like if you're ambitious, God help you because it's just like when you see what's happening, it's just better to keep your head down. Because the moment you kind of rise above, there's somebody that's going to come for you. I don't know anything about this guy. He seems as bland as the other guy from the bachelor that got fired. They all seem the same to me. 

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: No, I heard he was totally evil. And here's what happened. Three points. So, first of all, we knew this wouldn't work out because look at him, you guys. He is literally identical to Randall Boggs in "Monsters, Inc.," right? That evil Gecko thing. That's number one. 

GUTFELD: OK. 

COMPAGNO: Secondly. 

FAILLA: All right, cartoon monster. 

COMPAGNO: That was the most important thing. Secondly, the letter that went around like from the CEO of "Jeopardy!" or whatever that said, this show is untenable now. 

This was the quote, it was because staffers had failed completely in the dark in recent weeks as to what was happening and who was running the ship, which seems to me sort of like the federal government right now. 

So, if that was enough to overhaul all of "Jeopardy!" I feel like, can we get a move on in the White House? And then my third and final point is that it needs to be LeVar Burton hands down. No contest. 100 percent. 

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, he made a show about reading successful. 

COMPAGNO: Reading rainbow was the best show of all time. 

TIMPF: I think this is remarkable though, is this the fastest cancellation of all time? 

GUTFELD: It might be. 

TIMPF: Usually, you like have a career if you know and then you're canceled. I mean, this guy went from you know, who is Mike Richards to three hours later, screw that guy, he sucks. Cancel. They have three hours in the sun. 

FAILLA: They fired Kevin Williamson from the Atlantic before he started working there. 

GUTFELD: But also, that happened to the dude at SNL, remember? 

FAILLA: Yes, before he even -- Shane Gillis. 

GUTFELD: Shane Gillis. Like got to -- the day that he got the phone call was like the next day they got another phone call about that job. 

BUCK SEXTON, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: The thing that I always think is unfair, Greg, is, is you know, people post this story to you and they say what do you think? And I'll see the first, I'll see the things and first impulse will be like, is it even that bad? Like what do you even really say and you don't really know. And so you sort of hang yourself out there a little bit because you're like it's not that bad, and usually it's not with the cancer culture stuff. 

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes. 

SEXTON: But that once in a while, somebody's like, well, did you see this? These ones and you go, well, that wasn't good, but I still don't think that what someone said necessarily eight or 10 years ago should get. 

GUTFELD: Yes and if you apologize, accept the apology. 

SEXTON: Well, well that's the thing, you can never apologize. 

FAILLA: We don't have a sense of -- 

SEXTON: You need to apologize and they take your head. Apology is now just, it's like a confession during the Spanish inquisition. They're like oh, yes, now we've really got you. 

FAILLA: Now you're dead? Yes, we need a sentencing guideline because the only thing we have right now is the death penalty, no matter what the offense is: make a joke, fired; harass somebody, fired; one should not be the other. But to one point really quick, I will not have anybody sit here and disparage O.J. Simpson. The NFL's all-time leader in rushing yardage and fleeing yardage. OK, that counts for something. 

GUTFELD: So, you have everybody and because like everybody who's being canceled does have the name. 

SEXTON: -- Dancing with the Stars? 

COMPAGNO: Yes, and they go to an island. 

GUTFELD: They go to an island then they compete. 

FAILLA: Well, just like that, Chris Cuomo is back on T.V. with his brother again. 

GUTFELD: Exactly. All right, coming up to American scoff at taking time off. And do we need a vacation for overstressed -- 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) 

GUYTFELD: Should Americans take a break for mental health's sake? A new survey suggests that busting our butts is making us nuts. Are you overwhelmed with work and life, and family obligations? Please, keep it to yourself. I have my own problems. You should see the rash I got from play, play wrestling that pygmy goat. 

I won three out of five. But I guess he got the last laugh. And the only laugh apparently, but you're not alone. A third of Americans say they haven't had a day to relax alone in more than three months. The other two- thirds are on enhanced unemployment or teachers. On average, people say they feel completely exhausted three days a week. Or if they were, or a five if they work with Kat Timpf. 

Yes, conducted on behalf of a company that sells diffusers, essential oils and other voodoo nonsense. That survey said 65 percent would like to spend more time on self-care and popular ways to relax included listening to music, soaking in the tub and taking long drives, probably to a store that sells diffusers and essential oils. 

For more, let's check in with our new Leisure Correspondent Joe Machi. Joe, any tips for Americans looking to relax more? 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Greg, it is difficult to find a spare minute to relax when you work for relentless taskmaster, Greg Gutfeld, but I still take a minute or two here and there again. Take the express train to flavor country. 

COMPAGNO: My God, Joe, what are you doing? We don't have time for this. We have all these stories to get through. 

MACHI: Well, you're right about that, Emily, but they can wait until I've smokeless tobacco flavored cigarettes. 

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

GUTFELD: That was an interesting little skit there. Well done, Emily. What do you -- is this just more is this stupid? This is a stupid study. It's a stupid study done by an essential oil company so they could sell more oil. Why are we more stressed? How could we be more stressed, we have everything we want? 

COMPAGNO: Yes to all of that. Because the concept of self-care as it relates to this is just like what you said it's a marketing ploy to get you to buy more bubble bath and get Manny's and Petey's and et cetera, but if it's really about taking care of yourself, and prioritizing what makes you happy, then to answer your second question, get off social media. Get off the news except for this channel. Get off. Get off the couch right and probably get out of 90 percent of your relationships. 

GUTFELD: Get out of everything, to Emily. You know, Kat, I'm not expressing any sympathy, maybe because trying to relax gives me stress. 

TIMPF: Me too. 

GUTFELD: I have to sneak up on relaxation. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: You know what I mean? Accidentally fall into it. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: Like a big McDonald's pan of balls. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: Just fall into it. That is my way of relaxing, although the cops won't let me do it anymore because of age requirement in the ball pit at McDonald's. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: He's the ones downtown. Uptown, there's not a lot of -- 

TIMPF: I think that everyone in this story, like this study who complained about not having a day alone to relax, you just consider themselves lucky. Because that's not relaxing. A day alone is just like the thoughts get louder, and I get upset. I would like to like take a honeymoon at some point. The day, after my wedding, my husband and I came over to your apartment and drink white cloud with you. 

GUTFELD: That was the honeymoon. That's the boss. I said that's the honeymoon. It was all inclusive. 

TIMPF: It was all inclusive. 

GUTFELD: Including the secret cameras. 

TIMPF: But who wants to spend time alone? I don't know how you get attention and all that, but -- 

GUTFELD: Buck, I was sold on the idea that once Biden was elected, we would feel tremendous relief constantly that we weren't going to be overwhelmed by the relentless trumping tweets in and all the angst. I thought we were all going to relax? 

SEXTON: No, now you can't even take a shower without three masks on. You should be prepared for this, right? They're not going to leave you alone, they're are not going to ever tell you it's OK to enjoy yourself. They're going to put federal restrictions in place, I believe for vaccines for travel, the next six months. You're going to see more and more of this because the logic of it is they're never going to be done harassing you. 

So, as for vacations, I'm somebody who in general thinks that most vacations people go on are largely Instagram-driven, and it's always finding the perfect shot of you at the beach, pretending there aren't 50 people playing loud. What is it with the people with the Bluetooth speakers at the beach? Explain this to me. If I have your Bluetooth speaker over here, somebody else's over there, and I've got Rihanna coming out of one and I've got Taylor Swift -- what's up? 

TIMPF: Bring your own. 

SEXTON: No, but that is all noise. That is a mismatch. We have anarchy on the beach. I want to hear the waves and the seagulls, Greg, and this is really just because people want to present a version of themselves to society where they're all kicking back like they're in a Corona commercial, when Corona doesn't even taste very good. 

GUTFELD: You know you came up with an idea. Applaud, please.

SEXTON: Some of them like Corona, apparently. 

GUTFELD: I came up with an idea for a surf album version of the Sex Pistols, anarchy on the beach. 

FAILLA: That actually kind of works. 

GUTFELD: It would work. Imagine surf versions of that entire album. I'm doing that. Jimmy, I don't even know what I'm going to ask you. I just assume you've already got your answer. 

FAILLA: Well, I was just going to say like that's funny the timing piece is so weird about like people not relaxing. Hello, we were all just locked in our houses for a year. You know what I'm saying? We all got plenty of time to sit home and do things, like what's next you going to read a piece on staycations like we did that, it's dumb. I really do think like you know because the word self-care was used so much. 

GUTFELD: That the new word. 

FAILLA: Self-care, like what can we make up our mind because the last time on the show, we were all mad at Jeffrey Toobin for self-care. 

GUTFELD: Yes. 

FAILLA: You know what I mean? Yes or no? 

GUTFELD: It's so, if you do peloton, that's all they say now is self-care this, self-care that. 

FAILLA: It's a hassle. Buy our stuff. Self-care. You need a candle. 

GUTFELD: Candles or so overrated. 

FAILLA: You need an oil. 

GUTFELD: We have electricity. 

FAILLA: You need a bath bomb, Greg, because it's self-care. 

GUTFELD: Who takes a bath? You're sitting in your own dirty water. 

FAILLA: Yes. 

GUTFELD: After five minutes, it's gross. 

FAILLA: Yes, who wants to take a bath in New York City? 

GUTFELD: You got to like drain though, we have to drain the tub every five minutes because of your own filth. 

FAILLA: But especially in New York, the water's orange, there's the thumb of some teamster coming out of the faucet. Relax now. It's gray, honey. 

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Up next, will spring raid bring an end to this odd at -- 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) 

GUTFELD: Before you get too invested, make sure your dates aren't infested. You have the newest plague to strike the dating world is called roaching, a slang term for when someone purposely hides the fact that they have many, many other partners from the person they're seeing. Now, where I come from, that's known as dating. 

Not hiding multiple affairs is called getting your partner to key your car. Apparently, even if you may know that your partner sees other people, it only crosses over into roaching once you realize there's actually a ton of them, explains exclusive matchmaking CEO Susan Trump Betty quote, "It's inspired by the ickiness of seeing one of those nasty little bugs, but knowing when you turn the lights on, there are lots of them." 

That's supposed to be bad. I don't know. Roaching could be a bummer, but it's still not as bad as spider-ing where the woman kills her partner and then eats them. That's why you haven't seen Bill Clinton in a while. Buck, you were sitting there talking about how this is my topic. All right, go for it, what do you -- what's your break on -- 

(CROSSTALK) 

SEXTON: I'm just saying, I'm the only person here without a wedding ring. I don't know if that means that I'm the, I'm the expert on the topic. I mean, unmarried on the Internet says I'm married but the Internet also says I own a shagging wagon, Greg, and that is your fault, by the way. 

GUTFELD: You -- OK. That's it. You are that guy, because you used to talk about the shagging wagon. In high school, he had a station wagon. He was probably the only person who called it shagging wagon. 

SEXTON: There was no shagging of the wagon. Nonetheless, nonetheless, let's get back to the rules here. 

GUTFELD: OK. 

SEXTON: You meet somebody. Let's bring it back to civilization. 

GUTFELD: Yes. 

SEXTON: If you meet somebody on let's say a dating app, right? You meet them on a Tuesday, you see them, you got to see them the following week. You don't want to be a needy weirdo -- it's like, oh, I saw you Tuesday. Let's take out Thursday and Friday and Saturday. You know, that's not good, right, Jimmy? You mean they don't live in a like that. 

FAILLA: Aggressive, yes. 

SEXTON: But when they ask you the following week, what do you do last weekend? What are you supposed to say? 

TIMPF: You lie. 

SEXTON: Exactly? Everyone had -- otherwise what are you supposed to do? Think this one through; it doesn't make any sense. So this notion of roaching, it's all about honesty in whether you're seeing other people period, but you don't have to be honest about everyone you see who's another person, you understand what I'm saying? 

GUTFELD: Yes, 

SEXTON: You're either monogamous or you're playing the field. You got to be honest about that. 

GUTFELD: I am so terrible at this. This is why I got married. I was so bad at this stuff. I couldn't keep track and I always got confused said the wrong things, Jimmy. 

FAILLA: But I respect you though, because you were out there pre-dating app. Did you get dating -- I have no respect for. 

GUTFELD: It was terrible. 

FAILLA: In my day, you had to lie right to the woman's face.

GUTFELD: You had to go to a bar and lie. 

FAILLA: Yes, the lie, you're the eke it out. But I mean, I think if you would really take a step back from this, more women would probably have won a guy who's you know, sleeping around and roaching than has roaches in his apartment. I think if you asked the question like if you asked the survey, it would be one not the other. 

But I think if you're dating and I really mean this anything goes. If you're not married, because there were no repercussions to dating people who are just dating who think they were in a breakup. You were playing Madden on Rookie, you know what I mean? You're not going to lose anything. You're not going to lose a child. You're not going to lose a house. Like -- 

GUTFELD: Good point. Yes, it's not like getting divorced. 

FAILLA: This veteran saying this matters. I have skin in the game. I lose half of this jacket. If this hit goes south tonight, OK. 

GUTFELD: So true. 

FAILLA: I have no respect for -- 

GUTFELD: I don't want to hear anybody. That's such a good point. I don't want to hear anybody. 

FAILLA: So hard. So, what do you do? You pick up your phone and start swiping again. 

GUTFELD: It is so easy now, Kat. Well, now that you're married, do you remember what it was like single and all the bad choices you made? 

TIMPF: Yes, I was the master of roaching. And it's -- I never got caught because I wouldn't you don't put anyone's real name in your phone because that's what people get caught. So, the guy you're with sees a name pop up. He's like, oh, our uncle is sexier. And if you went into my phone and read it, he'd be like, why is your uncle saying that stuff? That's a little weird. 

And that could have been weird but I never got caught and because guys, they couldn't handle that you're seeing other people even though they're all doing the same thing, absolutely. If you're dating a guy or sort of seeing and you have to assume: rule of thumb, every other girl is spending time with he's also sleeping with. If he's not talking to you, he is sleeping with her. The one exception is that he tried to sleep with her and she didn't want. 

SEXTON: This is also where you get the really slick thing of people reaching over to turn their phone to the other side. You're like, you're out to dinner, you're just like, yep, just turning my phone over for no apparent reason. 

TIMPF: Change her name. You got a lot of aunts and uncle. 

GUTFELD: I do that -- I do that when I'm on "THE FIVE" and my, my wife's yelling at me. I go I got to turn off because -- 

FAILLA: Here's the tell ladies, if his passcode is longer than nine digits, there's something going on, you know what I mean? 

GUTFELD: No, I don't. 

FAILLA: You could never guess it. Oh, sorry. 

TIMPF: There is always something going on. Assume that he's sleeping with at least 17 other women. 

GUTFELD: Wow that's a, that's a fair number. 

SEXTON: That's a, that's a little, that's a little excessive. 

TIMPF: Even if they say that. 

GUTFELD: Well, you were dating musicians. 

TIMPF: Yes. 

GUTFELD: Emily, I'm from an old period. I call it the era of Three's Company. So, a guy that was dating a lot of people what do we call (INAUDIBLE)?

FAILLA: Casanova. 

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) and the women would be floozies. Check out that floozy. No one knows that phrase anymore, right? 

FAILLA: No. It's a shame. 

GUTFELD: I'm glad it's gone. Emily, what -- and you're married as well? 

COMPAGNO: But I'm like you where I'm from a different era. So first of all, this is a new term for an old trend, but in my era, this was being called like you were a player, you were a dog, whatever. So, I feel like though in this don't hate the player, hate the game because if you are going to your point to an online candy store equivalent and expecting anything other than that person to be sleeping with everyone else on the planet while he's not actively talking to you, then I feel like you're insane, right? Am I crazy? Do I sound old? 

FAILLA: No, it's true. If you meet a guy at Burning Man, you can't be upset about his weed habit. 

COMPAGNO: Yes. Yes, exactly. Exactly. 

GUTFELD: I always hate going to Burning Man and waking up the next day with a burning sensation. 

FAILLA: That's different app. 

GUTFELD: All right, don't go away. We'll be right back. 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK) 

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Buck Sexton, Emily Compagno, Jimmy Failla, Kat, studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America. 

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