Gutfeld: Obama administration's summer fairground of scandal

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 12, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: As summer approaches, I think the first time I hit the fair, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do first, bumper cars, the tilt-a-whirl, the zipper, that's Bob's favorite. Or you stuff your face on funnel cake until you barf on a Ferris wheel, those poor people below.

Me, I head to the side show for the bearded ladies. They're usually sad and up for anything. For instance, the White House is now that fair ground in every scandals and attraction, with so many our heads spin like tea cups in Disneyland. Dana cried on that one.

But as sad as these sideshows are, they help the president for each bubble of badness pulls you away from bigger wrongs. For example, I bet you haven't heard that Lois Lerner of the IRS scandal fame still has access to the department's computer system.

I doubt she's playing solitaire. And what about BOLO list? It stands for "Be on the Lookout." The list the IRS uses to flag Tea Party groups. Then, there's Elijah Cummings, blaming it all on an unnamed Republican, probably the same guy who told Harry Reid that Mitt didn't pay his taxes. Remember that?

My point, whether you acted fair or assessing corruption, it's important to keep your eye on the ball. And that ball is a government arm already targeting specific Americans based on belief, fully able and ready to ruin you.

This is evidence of the targeting we feel might be happening later with the NSA, except it's here now. That's a scandal that you can run with and be dumb to drop it, let the president skate once again. He's gotten so used to it, he's like a carnie taking your cash he can barely contain his smirk.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Try again and again to get those little rings through the thing.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly, they never, never work.

Well, Andrea, you and I both are huge fans of the Allentown Fair.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: I knew you were going to go there.

GUTFELD: Yes. The best -- probably the best funnel cake you could find in eastern Pennsylvania, but that's not what this segment is about.


GUTFELD: OK. Can we talk about the IRS a second?


GUTFELD: We kind of not talked about it. First, you've got Lerner still on her computer. Then, you got a story about how they had a rush order on surveillance equipment, which was hidden cameras, like concealed clock radios, cameras in plants.

Cameras in plants -- what do you think they're going to do with this stuff?

TANTAROS: I actually think that may be reasonable in ordinary times. OK? So, maybe they were using it to catch tax cheats, that's what the IRS is supposed to do.

So, I can actually understand a perfectly legitimate need for camera in that instance. The question now, though, even though I guess there's report that they cancelled the order, is whether or not they're going to use devices that were typically used to go after tax cheats to now go after political enemies.

Just five weeks ago, they were going after Tea Party groups according to the center for law and justice. So, this is why everything, Greg, with every single scandal. For example, Lois Lerner logging on, the NSA -- under ordinary times, I would be fine with moderate government surveillance. I would fine with them buying cameras to put in plants, but now I'm not. We can't take their word for it.

I am not all right with it.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: The fair in eastern Pennsylvania.

GUTFELD: It was a long winded metaphor.

BECKEL: I see. It certainly was.

GUTFELD: Would you like to comment?


GUTFELD: Eric, what about Benghazi?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Benghazi, it's one that really ticks everyone off.

The bearded lady is a dude, dude.

GUTFELD: No, it's not.

BOLLING: Yes, it is.

GUTFELD: Actually, I never got that far to find out.

BOLLING: All I can say, it seems for anything. That was a great line, I love that one. I spend a half hour with Darrell Issa on the Hill earlier, talked to him, said why did these people come, they raise their hand, swear under oath, that they're telling the truth and come out with things, can I call it a lie, untruths, provable wrong statements.

PERINO: Awkward.

BOLLING: And then, what happens? We don't see any perp walks. We don't see anyone do any time. We don't see any reprimanded. He told me, it's very hard to get someone perjuring themselves. It's a big, big hurdle.

You can catch them saying something wrong, and they can clarify later, and that's what they're doing. They're clarifying later about all these comments. The problem is, no one is telling us what they're saying.

BECKEL: They haven't got them on perjury yet. It's very clear. So, tough one to prove.

BOLLING: That's true. That's true.

GUTFELD: I know, thank you. The producer said in my ear Dana hasn't said anything yet.

PERINO: She's being so kind. I said something about the ring tossing and the thing --

GUTFELD: Yes, that was probably the most cogent analysis in the --

PERINO: Do you even have a question?

GUTFELD: Yes, I do.

Where is the IRS story going? Will we return to it? Is it in the rearview mirror?

PERINO: I think it will be like a slow tease, a little nugget here and there.

GUTFELD: Like the bearded lady.

PERINO: I've never seen one.

GUTFELD: Never seen a bearded lady?

PERINO: No. You have a 5:00 shadow.

TANTAROS: I have seen a bearded lady that doesn't work at the carnival.


BOLLING: Another network?

GUTFELD: Oh, terrible.


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