'Gutfeld!' on COVID Christmas, Michelle Obama 2024 talk

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This is a rush transcript of "The Greg Gutfeld Show" on December 29, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Hello, everyone, and welcome to my show. That's right, my show, Timpf, exclamation point. You might be asking, Where's Greg Gutfeld? You'd be asking the wrong person. That's a question for my lawyer. Gloria Allred. And that is all I will say about that, other than to remind you that it is very hard to be charged with murder if they never find a body.

Anyway, it's great to be back. I hope you all had a great Christmas. Or if you're like me, a great COVID. Yes, I had COVID, which was a great way to finish the year. That started with me also having COVID. So let's do the math here. I know Greg's out there saying Kat can't do math, because he's definitely watching, has definitely not been dead for a week already. Must there's been an awful coincidence.

So this year, I had two COVIDs. I also had two COVID shots. Two plus two equals four. As in, forget about all of this (BLEEP) following all of the rules and regulations failed me more than the dare program. I am over it. And I bet you are too. I mean, I'm not the only one who had COVID over Christmas. Lots of people did. Unvaccinated people, COVID. Vaccinated people, COVID. Boosted people also COVID.

This Christmas COVID was more popular than robbing a Bloomingdale's with 30 of your closest friends. It hasn't gone anywhere. Just yesterday, the United States set a new record of COVID cases. That's despite our leaders telling us repeatedly that if we just did the right things COVID would be behind us. We just got the shots. We just closed our businesses and schools. If we just stayed inside of our homes, instead of indulging in luxuries like basic human interaction and gainful employment, we would defeat this virus.

They should feel lucky they work for the government because if they didn't, they get fired. They were so wrong. And so like Greg Gutfeld, making his nine million drug use joke about his talented and brilliant cohost. It's time to admit that what they're doing isn't working and they really need to lay off. Joe Biden was almost there. Almost. On Monday, he admitted this.


JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: There is no federal solution. This gets solved at the state level.


TIMPF: If Biden believes that then why not eliminate the federal mandates? Why keep rules in place that only don't solve anything but also create more problems. Jen Psaki has since tried to walk Biden's comments back saying the full context shows that he really meant federal and state governments need to work together. But it's also wrong to suggest that state rules are the answer.

In New York City, we have some of the strictest and yet we celebrated Christmas Eve by setting a new COVID case record. Other strict states like Massachusetts and New Jersey did the same. So what does that tell you? You should be done with their rules and find out what works for you. Who else you got to listen to? This guy who thinks you need a mask alone on a beach outside with your wife? How about a news anchor at MSNBC?


NICOLLE WALLACE, MSNBC HOST: I'm a Fauci groupie. I'm a thrice vaccinated, mask adherent. I'd like KN95 mask by the, you know, caseload. They're in every pocket. I wear them everywhere except when I sit down.


TIMPF: Really, Nicolle? Anthony Fauci is your Justin Bieber? That's right, cultural reference that's newer than 40 years old. You won't get that with Greg Gutfeld or CNN, where reporter Chris Cillizza bragged about buying himself rapid tests as a belated Christmas present. Nothing says everything's fine, like considering adequate medical supplies to be a cheery holiday tree. What does he want for his birthday? A colonoscopy?

Like children forced to do distance learning. This just keeps getting more stupid. It's only a matter of time before someone creates a new product, the extremely rapid COVID test.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Extremely rapid COVID test, here goes. COVID.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Traveling to visit my family?





TIMPF: Even when the CDC seemed to be loosening things up in some ways, like cutting the recommended quarantine down -- quarantine time down to five days from 10. It made other things stricter. It announced that it'd be changing the recommendation from anyone who has been vaccinated does not need to quarantine due to exposure to only people who have had a booster shot should be exempt from quarantining.

Worse. These quarantine rules would also include people like me who don't need a booster shot, because their booster shot was getting COVID and having to spend Christmas doing this.



TIMPF: Unlike Greg when he sits in this chair I don't need a booster right now. Right now, I am far more protected than anyone who has gotten one. And I've also probably had at least 47 COVID exposures on my way to work today. So if I were to actually follow these new quarantine rules, you guys would never see me again. Much like you may never see Gutfeld again. But that does not mean he's dead.

Of course, immunity isn't perfect either. If it were, I wouldn't have had two COVIDs. But saying it shouldn't be taken into account at all is stupid. And yes, vaccination can be a smart choice. Vaccinated people are still faring better than those who are unvaccinated when it comes to hospitalization and death. And if you're worried about those things, that could be the right choice for you.

But the choice is the point. It should be your choice and your choice alone. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a mostly lawless heathen. He thinks almost everything should be your choice. Now with the Omicron variant, the science shows that vaccinated, even boosted vaccination can't stop you from contracting and spreading it, which was their entire justification for these mandates in the first place.

We're entering into our third year of living like this, and I am not doing it. I've been married for seven months now. Costing Vegas millions. And I still haven't been able to have a honeymoon because of all the fears about planning a trip with all the rules changing all the time. I mean, what would the CD -- what would the CDC suggest that I do for my honeymoon?



TIMPF: Honestly, I'd be afraid to ask what they would suggest. Because they either don't get it or they just don't care. Stuff like that is important. Living your life is important. And I'm done listening to anyone who can't recognize that. The truth is what do we do about COVID? Should mean you and the people you live with? Should mean you and your doctor or you in the voices inside your head?

It should not mean you and the rules your government imposes on you, must you want to lose your job or the ability to move around what is supposed to be a free country. Schoolhouse Rock never mentioned your rights can be trampled if one politician declares an emergency. And there is a 40-year- old reference in honor of Greg Gutfeld, who is probably still alive. So, like Chris Cuomos' future COVID is not going anywhere.

Leaders and experts would be smart to focus on treatments instead of restrictions that do less good than searching my apartment for any evidence connected to Greg's disappearance.


TIMPF: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He made a house call two years ago and he's been trapped in my apartment ever since. Host of Dr. Drew After Dark on YMH. Addiction Medicine Specialist and author of the new book, It Doesn't Have To Be Awkward Dr. Drew Pinsky. She talks so fast carnival barkers asked for a chill out. "OUTNUMBERED" co-host Emily Compagno.

He's so prolific he almost died from Writer's cramp. Fox News Contributor and Washington Times Opinion Editor Charlie Hurt. And his voice is deeper than the graves in his crawlspace. Westernrazor.com owner, David Angelo.

Thank you all for coming on my show. So --

DR. DREW PINSKY, HOST, DR. DREW AFTER DARK: And the after party at your house.

TIMPF: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. We already all had the cron at my house. So we're quite safe. So Dr. Drew, you're a doctor. So --

PINSKY: God, you sound look like Greg now.

TIMPF: Yes. You are a doctor.

PINSKY: Yes. That is true.

TIMPF: Don't ever tell me that. That's the meanest thing you can say to me.

PINSKY: Sorry, I beg your pardon.

TIMPF: So listening to my monologue, am I right or am I so right that you also consider me now also a doctor?

PINSKY: I could consider you such but you are right. Indeed, you're right. I mean, look, it's -- look, it's time to understand that there's something more important than just surviving, it's flourishing, right? And life has certain risks. We've done a great job. We have a vaccines and therapeutics and all these ways of attacking now. The Omicron, which is our latest challenge is much milder.

I've seen -- I mean, dozens of cases in the last week, and it has been exceedingly mild. Yes, if you're unvaccinated, it can hit your hard. If you're elderly, anything can hit you hard. That's absolutely the case. But we've done an amazing job. And we should begin to stand up tall, be a little courageous, and begin to live our lives the way we want to and not be preoccupied with this thing.

And as you said, make decisions with your -- for yourself, with your doctor, let the healthcare system work again. That was always supposed to be the way it was. I mean, why does anybody care, Kat, about what Joe Rogan does with his doctor? There shouldn't be anybody --


TIMPF: I do. I trust my doctor will give me some of that stuff.

PINSKY: That's fine. That's within you and your doctor.

TIMPF: Yes. Emily, you also had the Christmas COVID. You also -- I mean, did you love it? Or what?

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I feel like -- I think the biggest thing for me was just how surprised I was.


COMPAGNO: It would be like if I had open my stocking and actually got cold like, no, like not me, too. I was -- I was really sad as you know, because I stalked you during the 10 days too. The only thing that got me through it was knowing that I wasn't alone in it, but it was hideous. But I also kept just telling myself better me than any member of my family. I think --

TIMPF: Oh, that's very nice of you.

COMPAGNO: I know. And I'm saving up for next year so that there won't be coal or COVID again for Christmas 2022. But I have to say that I think the worst part to me, in addition to President Biden, the only thing that he has ever said that has made sense was his slip when he said yes, there isn't a federal solution. It's how the media keeps giving this guy a pass. Right? He claims that the answer to everything to your point is more government.

It's stricter rules, it's more laws, it's a bigger government encroachment into your life. And the media gives them a pass. They say this year or this month that -- oh, he reassured governor's as coronavirus surges. When President Trump did literally the exact same thing when he left it to the states to make their own public health decisions that same New York Times said he was ceding any semblance of national leadership on the pandemic.

And that's what sucks as an ordinary American who doesn't really care who's in charge. As long as they're reasonable. They make sense and they don't infringe upon my liberties. Under this one, I think Christmas 2022 is going to be even worse than this year and --


TIMPF: That was actually me on Christmas. I hope to God just knock it worse than that.

COMPAGNO: But it was a great song.

TIMPF: It is a great song. And I don't believe in anything. So, Charlie, I heard you saying in the greenroom though, that you think we need more laws and that's the answer.


TIMPF: And you wish the United States were more like Australia.


HURT: To be clear, I love libertarians. They're nuts. Libertarians are -- they're the ones, you know, I love the idea of libertarians, in my heart of hearts I'm a libertarian. But at the end of the day, somebody's going to have to pay all the bills. And I'm afraid that's going to be me. And so -- no, no, no.

PINSKY: And you have a heart?

HURT: Yes, yes.

PINSKY: Those libertarians -- you met my friend --


HURT: I don't even -- I don't even mind the cold. I don't. No, because --

PINSKY: Harsh.

HURT: Because that incentivizes better behavior, right? If you're, you know, there's a -- you have to be careful with charity. Charity comes at a price, right? No. So -- but nobody, you're exactly right. I mean, the thing that I think so many people fail to understand, especially in government is, you know, the doctors might, you know, Dr. Fauci might be right about everything. But at the end of the day, that still doesn't matter. It's -- we he's not in charge.

It's still, you know, we still get to make our own decisions. As you were saying, Dr. Drew, the -- about our -- between us and our doctor, we get to make those decisions. But I think that real political thing that's going on right now is that with that statement that Joe Biden made about how the federal government is not the answer. He basically admitted it in a -- in a political realm that the entire purpose of his campaign was a lie.

This whole notion that he -- that COVID was Donald Trump's fault and I'm going to run a presidential campaign and do it correctly and take it. He admits that that's completely made up. And that's a pretty stunning moment. And then -- and then you add on top of that, the fact that, you know, listening to the way he speaks to those of us that he doesn't agree with, the disdain with which he speaks to the unvaccinated who are killing their families and things like that. I think we -- it'll be a long time before we stop studying this.


TIMPF: Yes. David, do -- you have anything uplifting to say about the future? It was such an uplifting guy.

PINSKY: Mr. Optimism?

DAVID ANGELO, OWNER, WESTERNRAZOR.COM: I mean, I went to my doctor, I told him I lost my sense of taste. He said, yes, that explains those shoes. And these doctors, it's like what happened to the bedside manner? No. I actually didn't get COVID. Hello, I'm ever feeling that might change. Today's taping.

HURT: This crowd.

ANGELO: I mean, good. God.

TIMPF: We already had the crowd.

ANGELO: Yes. I know. There's a lot of coughing going on here. I feel like I'm in the cheap seats of a Phish concert.

TIMPF: You should be so lucky. Anything else? No. That's it?

ANGELO: Uplifting. We're all -- look, we're all going to die some sooner than others.

TIMPF: That was uplifting though. We're all going to die. Live how you want to live. Up next. Why did Oprah splaying keep out Gayle King?


TIMPF: Strict COVID rules from Oprah had her telling Gayle King nopera. Last week, the former Queen of daytime through a welcoming party for her bestie Gayle King's newborn grandson, which sounds like an excuse to throw a party that's really all about her. And I respect that. Oprah commemorated the joyous day on Instagram with the caption, everyone who was spending Christmas at my house has to be vaccinated, boosted, tested and quarantined.

Not to mention bathed in Purell and wrapped in anti-microbial plastic which is also what experts recommend for meeting with Jeffrey Toobin. Oprah's policy was so strict that Gayle wasn't even allowed in because like Joe Biden on Air Force One, she missed one of the steps. The guest of honors own grandmother and Oprah's best friend. Gayle did finally make it the next day after completing Oprah strict regimen.

But it's still unclear which step the vaccination, the tested, the booster the quarantine that she missed. Meanwhile, President Biden continues to weigh vaccine mandates for domestic air travel. Reporters pressed him on the issue while on vacation in Delaware.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When might you make a decision on domestic travel vaccine requirements?

BIDEN: When I get recommendation from medical team.


TIMPF: We wanted to clear our answer. So we zoomed with the President earlier. What do you say, Joe?


TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: No, no, no, look, I'm going to do what the medical guys tell me to do. Right? I don't take a Pepto Bismol without their permission. So the thing with the planes, I don't want to do it to be honest. If everyone's vaccinated on the plane, and someone gets sick, I got no one to blame. Look, look, I promised you that if you did what you were told you get the vaccine. You got the booster then you might get sick.

But I'm never going to point the finger in it. I promised the American people. I would always blame the unvaccinated and I'm going to keep my promise. Right? Congratulations to Gayley Jean King on the grandson's Silva tennis player.


TIMPF: So David, when Western razor co becomes huge, like bigger than Amazon, which it - well, are you going to start acting like Oprah?

ANGELO: Well, you know, we already are the nation's largest manufacturer of safety razors. But I, you know, look, when you have Oprah's money, the rules are different.

TIMPF: You know, she's -- you take precautions. When you're a billionaire you're not going to die anytime soon. So, you do what -- you do what she can, you know, I get that. You got to do risk management. The rest of us what do we have to live for? You know, we're like, oh, there's a one a chance -- one in 80 chance I'll die going to TGI Fridays. OK. I like my odds. All right. He's like, no, no, no, we're not doing it.

But that does explain why Stedman is anti-vaxxer though. You notice. He's not really, I just --

HURT: I got it.

TIMPF: There you go. You know, I don't get it. I don't get it.

ANGELO: Well, that you had all the -- Oprah had a lot of steps to be it around Oprah, right?

TIMPF: Yes. I don't get it.

ANGELO: Stedman being an anti-vaxxer. He would around being like, you know, like --

TIMPF: The best jokes you have to explain.

HURT: I'm not funny. So --


TIMPF: No. That is true. So Charlie, so I don't care what Oprah does. I think that's fine. If people want to do the Oprah thing and that's, you know, gets them to be happy. But I -- when Biden starts doing about and trying to do an imposing on all of us, that's where I have the problem.

HURT: Amen. I think it's fantastic. If -- what she's 67, she may have other issues. I don't know but it, you know, that's exactly the way it's supposed to work. You have people to your house, you can set whatever rules you want. If you want people to wear tutu, then they can wear a tutu. You don't have to go to their house either. But the real problem comes when you -- as you point out when you have the government mandating all of these things and especially mandate -- two years in.

Mandating things that have been demonstrated not to work over the past year.

TIMPF: Yes. Yes. Doctor Drew, are you a fan? You have been asked to join this medical team? I mean, what would -- what would you tell --


PINSKY: Listen, I'm so mystified by the quarantine piece of Oprah's policy. Would people have to stay in a hotel for a week before they come to our house? How's this going to go?

HURT: Yes. That's another rich person's problem.

PINSKY: That's like the weirdest thing I've ever heard. But we -- have we all not been to Christmas parties and we had to show a vaccine and get a test? It's just me. I've been to like three of them.


PINSKY: That's -- in Los Angeles, that's a --

ANGELO: I don't get invited to parties.

PINSKY: But you are the nation's number one manufacturer of safety razors.

ANGELO: Yes, that's right.

HURT: You all didn't have an office party?

ANGELO: We didn't have. Yes. The office party it was like this year. Just me and the Rumba.

TIMPF: Emily, I mean, I think it creates a false sense of security and imposes all these restrictions for no reason and scared.

PINSKY: And by the way, it seemed like the party was outside where this thing does not transmit. It does not transmit.

COMPAGNO: I thought the craziest part you guys is the fact that she put her best friend on blast. OK. So like, to your point, sure, set your own rules at your house. Fine. If you're like everybody that comes over to Emily's house, they have to take off their shoes. But I don't put a picture of Kat up and be like, Kat refused to take off our shoes. These aren't allowed in and then be like, and tomorrow she can.

Like that was to me the greatest travesty. And I totally agree with that quarantine, like, what do you mean, quarantine at home? And then get on a plane and get it and then come to the party or quarantine in your lab is like a (INAUDIBLE) and then to your point about like, I can't remember if it was you that made it, maybe not.

PINSKY: Probably wasn't.

COMPAGNO: Yes..That's why I think it's actually you that -- to the point about the amount that billionaires like can control and they can't, you would think that someone who had all that money would be just as fastidious with what they put in their mouths and caloric intake.


COMPAGNO: And like 1000 other things.

TIMPF: Talking bad about billionaires. Emily is a socialist, OK.

COMPAGNO: No, I'm not.

TIMPF: Up next.

COMPAGNO: All money though.

TIMPF: Speculation is running ripe for a former president's wife.


KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Will Democrats ditch Joe and Kamala for Michelle Obama-la? Joe Rogan thinks if Michelle Obama runs for president in 2024, she'll win, even in a matchup with Donald Trump. He made the prediction on a recent episode of his podcast; Joe Rogan smokes a lot of weed.


JOE ROGAN, HOST: I really believe if Michelle Obama runs, she might -- she wins.


ROGAN: I think she wins. She's good. She's great. Yes, she's intelligent. She's articulate. She's the wife of the best president that we have had in our lifetime like a representative.


ROGAN: Intelligent, articulate people.


TIMPF: Seems unlikely, but if Michelle Obama became the first black woman and first former First Lady to win, it would be so fun watching Kamala and Hillary's heads explode. Joe Rogan's not the only one already speculating about the next election, the Hill recently compiled a top 10 list of potential Republican candidates likely to run in 2024.

No surprise, Donald Trump's at the top of the list. Rounding out the top five include the usual people Ron DeSantis, Mike Pence, Chris Christie, and Nikki Haley. But the election is still three years away. A lot can happen between now and then. COVID could be over. The economy could be fixed. I could get COVID four more time. Or Joe Biden could become lucid. Probably not the last one. All right. So, Charlie, like, oh, Michelle Obama said nine million times she's never going to be in politics. But this is a holiday week, we had trouble finding stories --


TIMPF: So, we're doing it anyway, and now it's up to you to find something to say about it.

HURT: Yes. Yes. So, you know, I will say that there was a time when that prospect frightened me, because I think that she would be pretty popular. The problem with her though is she, as you point out, she really doesn't like politics. And, and, and underneath that is sort of a disdain for people. And her husband was a really good liar. And he was able to pretend like he did like people, which is how politicians get elected. And so, I think that while she would certainly be head and shoulders above anybody else on the Democratic bench, I still think that I don't think that she would be a shoo-in, because it's really hard to fake that stuff.

TIMPF: Ah, it is, isn't it? Drew, you're the only T.V. doctor not running for office right now?


TIMPF: Why don't you -- other T.V. doctor guys doing it?

PINSKY: I thought about it.

TIMPF: I know.

PINSKY: My friend, Dr. Oz, is in.

TIMPF: Yes. Well, what are your thoughts?

PINSKY: I don't know, when I think -- I look at that Republican list, and I just think Republicans so white.


PINSKY: Oh, my goodness. It sort of misses the zeitgeist a little bit. It's a little concerning. And so, and you, and you go against a Joe Rogan prediction at your peril. I know he has to fill throughout three hours and smokes a bit of pot, but, bit of a weed, but, but he's pretty tuned into people's opinions. And I would say, you know, listen to him if he makes a prediction, whether she runs or not really is what matters.

TIMPF: Yes, I don't see. Emily, I just don't think, I think she probably could win because I don't agree with her on anything. And if I met her, I still desperately tried to get her to like me.


TIMPF: You know?

COMPAGNO: Totally. Also, I feel like with that list, though, it's sort of like the pilot episode of "Game of Thrones." Like there's so much to go through, like if based on the pilot episode, you totally would have been like oh so and so eventually gets on the throne. Do you know what I mean?


COMPAGNO: But instead, there was like 6,000 wars, 6,000 families, 8,000 deaths and then the one at the end, the actual one that took the throne, you would never have predicted in the beginning. That's number one. Number two --

TIMPF: I never saw "Game of Thrones," but now I understand the title.

COMPAGNO: Yes. Well, and also, it's the best show of all time. And then the second thing is that I feel like this demonstrates that how the left just sort of worships and has this celebrity factor of all of their politicians. It's like even in the beginning, the, the Nicole clip you played where she was like, "oh, my God, I love Fauci." They give an Emmy to Andrew Cuomo. You know, they put Beto on the cover of Vanity Fair. Like they all tend to put on a pedestal, these political figures or anyone that has a slight celeb quality about them, and they just worship them to their fault, because otherwise they would listen to what Michelle Obama wants, which is not to run.

PINSKY: Are you saying Michael Avenatti would not have made a good presidential candidate? Is that what you're saying? How dare you?

COMPAGNO: Answer's no.

TIMPF: What do you think? I saved the best question for you, David.

DAVID ANGELO, OWNER, WESTERNRAZOR.COM: Geez! Well, I think, yes, she could beat Donald Trump. But I think anyone could be Donald Trump, as Joe Biden proved. I mean, he didn't even know he was running. Like, yes, throw up anyone over there. The thing is, can we just have, can we have a normal person be the president for once? The problem is, the media, the media is the enemy because any normal person who ran would be there to have their life ruined. So, only psychopaths run for president.


ANGELO: You only get these, look at these crazy people.

TIMPF: Well --

ANGELO: Just -- there's so many, think about how many normal people you run into in your day to day I never like this is such a nice normal guy. He's very on top of things. Oh, look at this person knows, you know -- airline pilots. You're like, look at this airline pilot, so in command, game control, cool under pressure. But they would never run because their life would be ruined. So, you only get --

TIMPF: Maybe, maybe an airline pilot. All right. We'll see. All right, coming up, is Kim K. getting dissed for giving away a movie twist?


TIMPF: Was Kim Kardashian trending for giving away a movie ending? Why are Marvel movie geeks mad at the celeb with massive cheeks? Kim Kardashian or as she's known in my house, Kim Kardashian, is getting dragged online for posting spoilers for the new Spider Man movie, "No Way Home."

Now, spoiler alert. I'm about to tell you what she shared. So, it's your chance to change the channel. If you don't want to hear any more about a young man swinging around town spraying secretions everywhere. And I don't mean Pete Davidson. All right, a few more sec -- OK. It's enough. You're old enough.

Also, if you're old enough to be up this late, you are too old for Spider Man anyway. OK. According to The New York Post, which is owned by our parent company, Lane Bryant, Kim shared some screenshots of the film from her private theater on her Instagram story. The picture is revealed that Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield are in the movie.

And I don't know why that matters, because I'm an adult. But some dudes who work for this show told me that it does matter. That conversation was also the closest any of them have ever been to a girl. So, there you go. So, Kim, she later deleted the photos, but it was too late.

People were furious, tweeted one person, "I thought the Spider Man ending would get ruined from a lot of places on social media for me, but never in @KimKardashian Insta Stories. Nothing says privilege, like getting a movie in your own private theater and spoiling it for those of us who are trying to stay home and safe.

Sounds like someone's just pissed they don't have a private theater. But since it's all spoiled at this point, let's just watch the end of the movie now.

PINSKY: Emily likes the physical humor.

COMPAGNO: I love it.

HURT: Funny.

TIMPF: So, speaking of things, people like, Dr. Drew, as a doctor, do you not agree in your professional doctor's opinion that there is something deeply wrong with grown men who likes superhero movies?

PINSKY: Yes. Yes.

TIMPF: Oh, yes.

PINSKY: Yes, I'm with you on that.


PINSKY: I noticed you're not married to one.

TIMPF: No, I would never.

PINSKY: But I'm surprised you're speaking to a few here.

TIMPF: Well, I had to for work.

PINSKY: I'm also surprised how much of a slow news day this was that we had to talk about this. I thought for sure this one would change.

TIMPF: I wanted to publicly shame these men.

PINSKY: Well, look, man, we have enough trouble already as man. We don't, we, we do --

TIMPF: Get this mat out of here.

PINSKY: We do especially when we're younger. We don't know from where we park it very well. And it's we get preoccupied with all kinds of things. Sports Spider Man. That's just where our brain works. But it should be gone by the time you're an older adult.

TIMPF: Yes, absolutely. Yes, yes, I agree.

PINSKY: I know. You're disgusted. You're disgusted.

TIMPF: It does kind of make me sick, Charlie. But you know, why don't these people just watch it in their own private theaters?

HURT: Exactly. Yes, I have nothing to offer on. I thought spider man came out like 50 years ago, and I didn't see it then. And so, I'm not going to see it now. But I did think, I did think this was interesting. I read that. This is the highest grossing movie in a box office which means Like people went to the movie theater and it was it made over a billion dollars. And so --

PINSKY: And it's a good movie --

TIMPF: Oh, it's not true.

PINSKY: No, I heard that. Aside from the Marvel --

HURT: But it's a step in the right direction.

TIMPF: Toward what?

HURT: To get away from COVID.

TIMPF: Emily --

PINSKY: We're together in theater.

TIMPF: Who is Tobey Maguire?

COMPAGNO: Oh, I'll tell you offline, he's actually older than you think. So, I'll say this though about the movie. First of all, I feel like everybody's a captive audience. Like the reason it broke records is because what else is there out right now?

TIMPF: Drinking.

COMPAGNO: In theaters, in theaters -- exactly. To your point, in theater --

PINSKY: You know you can do that in theaters now, Kat.

TIMPF: You always could.

HURT: You brought a flash?

PINSKY: That was her way.

COMPAGNO: Exactly. And I feel like for Kim Kardashian, isn't it the Spider Man quote, "To whom much is given, much is required." And so, I feel like for someone like her, who knows that every day there's like 300 billion people that are looking at her Insta stories she better know better. For example, when I saw online a start of a "Yellowstone" spoiler, I lost my damn mind and I literally didn't want the Internet for like five days --

TIMPF: Is that from the Bible?

HURT: I think it's from Ecclesia --

TIMPF: Is it from the Bible? Someone's saying that in my ear. I would never know that by the way.

COMPAGNO: It was also in the Spider Man movie, remember?

PINSKY: I don't play the Kim Kardashian. That's amazing.

TIMPF: David anything you have to say about Spider Man Kim Kardashian or apparently Ecclesiastes.

COMPAGNO: I was right.

ANGELO: There's a lot of topics there.

COMPAGNO: Weighed in. Well yes, no, I agree. I don't get spider man I used to --

TIMPF: As a child.

ANGELO: Oh yes.

COMPAGNO: It's the worst.

ANGELO: Kids grow up too fast you know and then meanwhile, you got these 40-year-old men running around dressed as Pikachu. I don't know what's going on anymore. But you know, I I'm glad I didn't get she didn't spoil for me. I actually saw the movie with Atkins theater. My friend of the family, so I didn't notice this until later until you showed me the story. I can see why people would get upset

TIMPF: Really because I'm hoping that some people have just changed the channel and see the spoiler because of me. Grow up! Up next, do you rant to your plant, or snub your shrub?


TIMPF: It's not rare to hold a conversation with a potted Rhododendron. That was good, I think. A new survey by the British plant Web site the joy of plants discovered that 44 percent of adults admit to talking to their potted palms and four in 10 People even ask their Ficus friends if they're thirsty before watering them. The poll also found that 60 percent of people admitted to having two-way conversations with their pets, which to me seems like too small of a number. This was my goat, who's also named Greg, earlier today after I told them I had to go to work.

Not have a goat. That would be ridiculous. But I do talk with my cat all the time. Drew, you've seen me do it.

PINSKY: I have seen you do it.

TIMPF: And it's very fulfilling, although we disagree. He's like, far more like pro-Trump than I am. But I'm like more libertarian, but it's normal.

PINSKY: Yes, he's uh, yes, I saw him that you carried him with you down the aisle at your wedding?

TIMPF: Of course, I did.

PINSKY: That's not hyperbole, that is actually what happened.

TIMPF: Well, because he was with me way before my husband. My husband was seeing other girls and the cat was with me. Hadn't met him yet. Doesn't matter, still can hold it against them. David, you talk to your razors.

ANGELO: Thank you. I appreciate -- what segment are we on here?

TIMPF: I think he does talk to his razors, Emily.

ANGELO: Oh, talk to my razors. Yes, America's largest -- number one. America's number one U.S. -- made in America.

TIMPF: Nailing it. Aren't you also the spokesman?

ANGELO: I'm the owner. I'm the co-owner -- but you know what, it's a great company and yet you know we don't --

TIMPF: All right, Emily, start talking.

COMPAGNO: OK, so for sure. I talk to all animals. Absolutely. Talk to my dog all the time, for sure, for sure. But also, you guys, even more importantly than the percentage of people who talk to their plants is that plants respond. And there was another study where plants showed -- no, I'm serious, were --

PINSKY: There are studies like this?

COMPAGNO: Yes. Where people walking up with scissors to sheer them, the plants would be frightened and they would quake and that the ones that would be talked to soothingly and encouragingly, would grow. So, for example, when I planted in front of my house, two trees and they were equal and then one was like, half the size of the other then every day when I would walk across from getting out of the car, I would say I believe in you, buddy. You got this. You got this you can grow.

TIMPF: Charlie, do you do this also?

HURT: This is disturbing.

COMPAGNO: No, it's -- for God's sake, no we're all living organism.

HURT: I think anybody who doesn't talk to their animals is probably unhinged.


HURT: But I do think I also think there's a scale though. If you're talking to your goldfish, you have real problems. But as, as animals get bigger, it makes more and more sense to the point where you know if you have if you have pigs, and you talk to your pigs that's perfectly reasonable. Pigs are very conversant and they talk back. They do talk back.

ANGELO: You know in what language?

HURT: Pig, pig language. But if you, but literally if you drive by them on a on a lawnmower, they will begin rollicking and snorting --


HURT: Because it's like that that's their language.

TIMPF: I will make sure that I check that out next time I'm rollicking on my lawnmower.

HURT: Come on down.

TIMPF: With my pig. Oh, I'm invited?

HURT: Anytime. Bring your cat at your cat's peril.

TIMPF: Awesome. All right, well, don't go away because we've got some skit outtakes next.


TIMPF: All right, before we go, you demanded it. So here more outtakes from our skits. By outtakes, I mean mostly me and Joe Machi screwing things up.


TIMPF: I used to always lose in political arguments to my co-workers, Steve. Oh --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think we just need to get you back.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can't let you in here. This place is going to explode with rage.

JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: If we don't get in the end it will explode with gas. If you don't let us in, it will explode with gas. If you don't let us in, it's going to explode with -- if you don't want us in, this this will explode with gas.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Due to this act of --

TIMPF: Battle of Chernobyl. This is --

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Joe Machi, thoughts on the late great Johnny Carson?

MACHI: Sorry, I'll make you do it again.

DEVITO: Joe Machi (BLEEP) --

MACHI: I'm a huge fan. I mean that guy really knew how to connect with people and he was so prolific over so -- you really know how to connect with people and he was so prolific over so many years. I mean, what a body of work.

DEVITO: Thanks for joining us. Did we get it?


TIMPF: Thanks to Dr. Drew Pinsky, David Angelo, Emily Compagno, and Charles Hurt. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" is next. I am Kat Timpf, and on behalf of Greg Gutfeld, I love you America.

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