Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," January 21, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, CO- HOST: Welcome to "The Five." The White House wrapping up a press briefing just now. Dr. Fauci making a lot of news by what he said about the Trump administration. Fauci saying he feels liberated, also adding this. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DR. ANTHIONY FAUCI, DIRECTOR, NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ALLERGY AND INFECTIOUS DISEASES: One of the things that we are going to do is to be completely transparent, open, and honest. If things go wrong, not point fingers, but to correct them and to make everything we do based on science and evidence. 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Dr. Fauci also pushing back on a CNN report that the Biden administration was left a mess on the vaccine. We'll have that sound right here.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNKNOWN: Is the Biden administration starting from scratch with the vaccine distribution effort or are you picking up where the Trump administration left off? 

FAUCI: NO, I mean, we certainly are not starting from scratch because there is activity going on in the distribution.

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

WATTERS: All right. So, Greg, obviously that CNN report that the Biden team was starting from scratch on vaccine distribution was fake news. So that's the first fake news story we've seen. So we mark that down right there.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yes.

WATTERS: Day two. And -- but also, what did you think about Dr. Fauci right there and his comments about the differences between the two administrations? 

GUTFELD: Well, OK. When you notice something about him is that he's kind of a political animal. Have you ever worked in a company under someone and there is a change? This is normal. He's one of those co-workers that plays the field politically and will always end up being on the side of who is ever in charge, which is why he kind of spewed these talking points at the start that seem contradictory to what actually happened. 

We saw the briefings. We saw -- I don't think you can get any more transparent than those briefings. Trump said whatever was on his mind. He often quibbled with Fauci. There was -- nothing Fauci said as advice was ever ignored by Trump. 

In fact, I think Trump was ahead of Fauci when it came to the travel ban on China. And he was on board with the shut down the moment that it happened, and he was willing to sacrifice his entire successful and effective achievements with an economy with the shutdown. 

If you listen to the press, he would've thought that Trump wouldn't have done that. I also want to point out in that presser, man, every question is about Trump. I think for the media, Trump's like an old flame who really, really burned you bad, so much so that you just can't let him go. 

I bet a hundred bucks, Jesse, people in the White House press briefing room are going to be drunk dialing Trump late at night when they're alone just to hear his voice. We've all been there by the way. 

WATTERS: And he might pick up the phone. Dana Perino --

GUTFELD: He will pick up the phone.

WATTERS: -- personally, the way I feel, if you work for an organization, whether it's an administration or a company, and you are expected to not to hold a line, but you're expected to present kind of a united front. Fauci did not do that. He has never done that, and I honestly agree with Greg.

He seems very political, like, he pivoted really fast right when those administrations changed. And now people kind of have a whiplash and are kind of seeing the real Fauci. 

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think -- well, I think if you went back, Jess, there were many times on this program where we would point to the fact that Dr. Fauci defended President Trump and said that President Trump was very engaged in Operation Warp Speed and with the task force.

WATTERS: You're right.

PERINO: He defended President Trump and saying he listens to me. Don't you remember, when Dr. Fauci said, "there is nothing we have brought to the president that he hasn't listened to and that he hasn't acted on." So, in some ways, I think that, you know, we shouldn't forget that. But, yes, of course --

WATTERS: You're right.

PERINO: -- he has a job that he wants to continue. The thing is, is that the press knows that one of the best things to do to get headlines and clicks and attention is to ask about a previous boss. It always happens. Now, if I were Dr. Fauci, I might have said looking forward here. I'm not going to look backwards.

He said that, but then he went the step further and said, but let's be clear. Like, it was obvious that we were out of favor. And I think one of the things that -- if you look back to March, the president's approval ratings really went up. 

Do you remember when he had the task force there? He was deferring to doctors. He was listening to them.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: And they helped for a while. And then that all sort of fell apart for many different reasons, including ones where he got frustrated, especially about the shutdowns and the lockdowns and some of that advice, the conflicting advice. 

The other thing that I saw today is Dr. Fauci defending the Trump administration saying there absolutely was a vaccine distribution. But it wasn't just Dr. Fauci. Dr. Redfield of the CDC also said that. So, there's a lot that the country has gone through when it comes to COVID. 

Dr. Fauci does have a popularity rating that's pretty high in America as people tend to listen to him, want. I think that he was actually trying to be gracious as much as he possibly could while also being completely honest. So, I guess that's where I would sit. 

WATTERS: It's a tough balancing act there. 

PERINO: Sometimes it is. Believe me.

WATTERS: Yes. We all have been there. And we have some more sound from Dr. Fauci. We'll play it and Juan can react to that.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

FAUCI: It was very clear that there were things that were said (inaudible) regarding things like hydroxychloroquine and other things like that. That really was uncomfortable because they were not based on scientific fact. 

I can tell you, I take no pleasure at all in being in a situation of contradicting the president so, it was really something that you didn't feel that you could actually say something and there wouldn't be any repercussions about it. The idea that you can get up here and talk about what you know, what the sciences, what the science is, and know that's it. Let the science speak. It is somewhat of a liberating feeling. 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Oh. Juan, aren't we so glad that Dr. Anthony Fauci feels liberated inside. From what I remember, I mean, he spoke a lot during the Trump administration. He was on every TV show for months. 

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: I think you forget that for a long time, he wasn't even allowed. I mean, he was doing podcasts. He had been excommunicated, told to go to his corner, not invited to participate in a COVID -- 

WATTERS: There are some very popular podcasts, Juan.

PERINO: There are. 

WILLIAMS: OK. I'm just telling you. He wasn't allowed on the air. You said you -- but anyway, my point to you is, I think it's pretty clear that he is saying he is much more comfortable hearing from President Biden that the science and the evidence will carry the day. And, you know, I think he was a good employee. He was a good scientist. 

Remember, he works for the National Institutes of Health and he wanted -- he wanted to help President Trump, and he wanted to have President Trump's ear. I think Dr. Birx also was someone later excommunicated, who felt it's best to have a presence with the president of the United States during a health crisis. 

Now, obviously, the president subsequently brought in other doctors. Let me just leave it there. But he brought in people who were just telling him what he wanted to hear is what it looked like. And Birx and Fauci then got the boot. And so today, to hear him say, you know, "science and evidence will carry the day," I think he is just speaking the truth to you. 

WATTERS: All right. Dagan, give you the last word. 

DAGAN MCDOWELL, CO-HOST: What we saw and how Dr. Fauci was treated by the press, how, well, maybe every member of the Biden administration will be treated because he got the go to question "how do you feel?" It's the figurative neck rub and the foot massage that he gets in public.

And by the way, can we just point out, Dr. Fauci is not infallible. He went on "60 Minutes" in front of the American people in early March and told them "don't bother wearing a mask," when all of Asia for literally years had been wearing a mask. 

GUTFELD: Right.

MCDOWELL: Of course, the CDC changed its guidance, but let's stop acting like this guy has gotten it right all along. Trump got it right pushing the vaccine. And I'll also note that President Biden got very testy earlier in the afternoon when asked about if 100 million vaccinations in the 100 days was enough. 

And he said, "when I announced it, you all said it wasn't possible." Well, nobody said that in the press. Everybody just shook their head, yes, you're right, you're right. He said, come on, give me a break, man. It's a good start.

So, he's getting a little testy, getting a little thin skinned. If it was Trump, he'd be called, well, a lunatic, but that's Biden. 

WATTERS: So, we got our first "come on, man" and we got our first CNN fake news story. We're off to a good start everybody.

GUTFELD: Yes.  WATTERS: Up next, more anarchy, courtesy of Antifa. The far-left group creating all kinds of chaos after Biden's call for unity. 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MCDOWELL: Left-wing Antifa agitators not listening to President Joe Biden's call for unity. Instead, they rampaged through the streets of west coast cities. Police declaring an unlawful assembly in Portland last night after far-left thugs attacked an ICE facility. 

Earlier in the day, rioters smashing windows at Oregon's Democratic headquarters. At least eight people were arrested. In Denver, protesters burned American flags outside the state capitol building. And finally, in Seattle, anarchists damaging an Amazon store, courthouse, and the country's first ever Starbucks. Republican Senator Tom Cotton warning that these rioters are not going to stop just because Joe Biden is president.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) 

SEN. TOM COTTON, R-ARK.: I remember the media and the Democrats blaming all this Antifa violence on Donald Trump, and yet here we have Joe Biden in the White House and Antifa is still raging in the streets of Portland and Seattle and Denver. 

This proves a point I made months ago. Proves the point I made two weeks ago, is that when you have a mob using violence for political ends, it doesn't matter what slogan they are chanting or what flag they're waving. They have to be met with force.

(END VIDEO CLIP) 

MCDOWELL: Sides getting very different treatment, Greg. 

GUTFELD: Well, you know, I don't really care for the tone of your voice, Dagan, when discussing an idea. I mean, we've been told by our president that Antifa is an idea, and that's all it is. And clearly, if you look at the sheer numbers, Dagan, it is mostly peaceful. 

And remember, their dissent is patriotic. Yours however is criminal and shall be punished with censorship and deprogramming. However, I just got word that these peaceful protesters in Oregon have already been bailed out by Kamala Harris, Lady Gaga, and Chrissy Teigen, which is great news. 

Only a few of them are violent, so that's cool. But I really, you know, the thing -- what I find it -- by the way, I'm kidding. That didn't happen. I think the bottom line here is there is a difference in treatment because the Democrats, they picked their mobs, whereas the Republicans, we condemn them equally. 

We think Antifa is disgusting. We saw D.C., we felt that was disgusting. We just find the whole idea of lawlessness to be disgusting. We're just waiting for the Democrats to catch up. 

MCDOWELL: Speaking of Democrats, Dana, I want you to listen to this sound from John Brennan who had something to say about racist, bigots, and libertarians. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN BRENNAN, FORMER CIA DIRECTOR: Members of the Biden team who have been nominated or have been appointed are now moving in laser-like fashion to try to uncover as much as they can about what looks very similar to insurgency movements that we've seen overseas, where they germinate in different parts of the country and they gain strength and it brings together an unholy alliance frequently of religious extremists, authoritarians, fascists, bigots, racists, nativists, even libertarians.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Libertarians. 

PERINO: I wanted to play that so much because it's like actually a joke on twitter that libertarians are a bunch of degenerates. And I don't know whether he was reading that and then like just came up with it. But it's like fascists, bigots, racist, nativist, and even libertarians. It was so unintentionally hilarious to me. 

And the other thing I would point out is that I thought on the Antifa stuff, you know, these cities have just accepted it. It's not novel. This is like, it's just Saturday night --

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: -- or whatever, like a Wednesday night. It just happens. As Ari Fleischer tweeted, I can't take credit for it and I'm just -- I agree with everything. He said, they should be treated the same as the capital rioters. Where's the digital evidence? Let's get the FBI on it. Let's look at the faces for the ones that are not masked up completely. They should be treated the same as the rioters. 

MCDOWELL: Yes. After the riot on Capitol Hill, everybody, every conservative who I follow said "find them, arrest them, prosecute them, put them in jail." But part of the problem, Juan, is say in Portland where there was unrest or rioting violence overnight. 

Portland police, of all the cases that they've referred since the spring of last year for prosecution, that about 75 percent of them, the D.A. in Multnomah County has declined to prosecute. So, it's like they -- cases are referred and the D.A. goes, that's not really a crime, when it is. 

WILLIAMS: I don't know what the thinking is behind that because I think all of this crime must be condemned, Dagan. But I will say that when you see this kind of criminal activity, this kind of anarchist activity taking place under a new president, it indicates it's not political. 

They're attacking a Democratic headquarters there. So, I think that this is quite different than when you see intentional violence against the United States capital in the midst of certifying an election that has been, you know, stoked by the president himself, President Donald Trump. That's a political action. 

And I think we need to make a clear distinction because I think right now, you see a lot of people trying to distract or somehow say, oh, this is just like what happened. No, it's not just like what happened at the capital of the United States. 

This is not an effort to absolutely undermine our democratic processes. These are people who are criminal. These are people who may be anarchists as I say. I don't know, but they should be condemned. They should be prosecuted. I don't think there's any question, but to say that it's somehow equal to what happened at the capital, I think that's an effort to distract and distort. 

MCDOWELL: Crime is crime, violence is violence.

GUTFELD: They've been doing it for nine months, Juan. Come on. Stop it.

MCDOWELL: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Oh yes, nine months. Yes. I think what I saw was something that was so damaging to our country --

GUTFELD: At least nine months.

WILLIAMS: -- that, you know, even yesterday at the inauguration people are talking about and saying -- 

GUTFELD: Why do you keep -- why are you so -- why do you adding but? You condemn it and then you got but this is worse. You can't condemn it. That's your problem. You pick your mob. 

WILLIAMS: I did condemn it. I condemn it unequivocally, but I'm telling you, and again, I'm telling you -- 

GUTFELD: But -- but they are words (ph). 

WILLIAMS: -- not to be equated -- you are convenience with what happened at the capital. 

MCDOWELL: Juan, let me get Jesse in. 

GUTFELD: Convenience, please. It's called morality, Juan. 

WATTERS: OK, so Juan says it's not political, but they are chanting "abolish ICE" and "defund the police." 

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Where have I heard that before, Juan? Also, Juan, we were told that on Inauguration Day, they were going to be 50 armed militias surrounding every single capital protesting the inauguration. There were none. And they were all violent anarchists and Antifa and Black Lives Matter protests that were causing violence on Inauguration Day. So that narrative popped. 

Also, Juan, only 200 Trump supporters entered the capital out of 75 million. That adds up to .0002 percent of Trump supporters that did anything wrong. 

I remember during the war on terror when there was a terror attack in all these body parts are flying all over the world, and you guys on the left were always quick to say, you know, you can't link that to Islam. You can't use that to justify spying on all Muslims. 

But here, when an infinitesimal amount of Trump supporters caused violence, you are ready to conflate it. 

GUTFELD: So true.

WATTERS: You are ready to condemn all Trump supporters and take the entire national security state and investigate them like they are -- like radical domestic terrorists just because they voted for change. You can't have it both ways. 

WILLIAMS: That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying the president spoke to them, he told him to march to the capital, they did, and they tried to destroy democracy. I don't know how that's any -- how's that can be confused in your mind. 

GUTFELD: Didn't happen.

MCDOWELL: I just want to add --

WATTERS: I'm not confused, Juan. 

MCDOWELL: Jesse's not confused, and I will add what's different now about fighting terrorism is that these all-powerful unchecked technology monopolies have been co-opted by the Democrats, and they are shutting down conservative-speech and they are putting businesses under. And that's dystopia to use that left-wing word. 

Up next, Nancy Pelosi argues impeachment could bring the country together. 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Democrats promise a bold action to help Americans already being delayed by problems some of their own making. The party reportedly doesn't expect to pass a new COVID relief bill until March.

And despite Biden's calls for unity, they're moving forward on impeachment. Speaker Pelosi says the process must play out. Watch this. 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF.: The fact is, the president of the United States committed an act of incitement of insurrection. I don't think it's very unifying to say, oh let's just forget it and move on. That's not how you unify. 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Dana, I was looking at this and I'm thinking to myself, I think the current hold up in the Senate is because McConnell won't agree to a power-sharing deal. How is that the Democrats' fault?

PERINO: Well, wait, wait, wait. I don't know. I think Schumer is saying he won't agree to a deal. And here's one of the things that's happening. The Democrats were caught totally flat-footed. They did not think they were going to win those two Georgia Senate runoff races, so they are not prepared. They don't have staff; they don't have any plans in place. They're not ready to go. So, there's that.

The other thing is that people like Senator Susan Collins and Mitch McConnell and others are saying, we want to have a discussion and an agreement about filibuster protection now before we agree to anything else. I think that is totally reasonable because it is the bedrock of the whole legislative uh process in the Senate. I don't think that's unreasonable. 

And I think that Chuck Schumer, look, understandably, he wants to tell McConnell to pound sand because there's a lot of pent-up demand. They think that Mitch McConnell has been this big obstructionist. But the other problem is, they only got 50, plus Kamala Harris in the Senate, so it's going to be very difficult for them to get anything done. But the first thing that needs to happen is a discussion about the filibuster.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, Greg, let's talk about that. Why should Democrats agree not to end the filibuster before they know whether Republicans are willing to work with them?

GUTFELD: Well, I just want to go back to the point of this whole segment. They are focusing on impeachment instead of the COVID package. That's what we should be talking about here. Because it sounds incredibly familiar, Juan, to what happened in January when there should have been everybody in our government focusing on the coronavirus, what was happening in those disturbing videos coming out of China, and there was a hearing going on about this mysterious illness. 

We were neck-deep in impeachment thanks to the very same people who are obsessing over Trump right now under the guise of unity. And it shows you how -- I mean, how dangerous and phony this unification rhetoric is because it's only unifying against people that they're identifying as evil, right? They're mask they're masquerading their own divisive hate as a unifying process meanwhile, once again, ignoring the coven package and demonizing 74 million people. 

It's the ever-expanding target of retribution. You start at that bullseye center with Trump, and then you work your way out to staffers, supporters, voters, and now anybody who's not truly in the resistance. 

WILLIAMS: Dagen, you know, just to pick up on Greg's point then. I don't think unity means no accountability, and that you can't impeach somebody who tried to lead an insurrection against the government.

MCDOWELL: It means -- 

GUTFELD: That's an opinion. 

MCDOWELL: That's your opinion and that means -- but what Greg is saying is that, well, one, Greg always said it's never it was never about Trump. It was about basically anyone who did not kowtow to the left-wing ideology. So, they're coming after you if you don't fall in line and agree with them, number one.

Number two, it's about helping people. There's 16 million Americans who are collecting some form of unemployment. I want Nancy Pelosi to stand in front of a camera and actually show some honesty and to speak to them and say, you know what, we're not helping you because I'm addicted to Trump. I can't get away from him so we're going to pursue impeachment rather than the aid. 

And by the way, they ought to hurry up on the aid because killing the keystone pipeline kills up to ten thousand high-paying union jobs. You rejoin the Paris Climate Accord, that's an extra $1,500 in cost every year to Americans while China still gets to build a coal-fired power plant. So, speaking of kowtow and we've been over for china. 

WILLIAMS: Jesse, you know, McConnell and the Republicans didn't approve one of Biden's nominees before he took office. So, McConnell is famous as an obstructionist, so why should Democrats, you know, just say, oh, yes, we could -- we'll do anything you want, Republicans. We'll expect you to play along with us.

WATTERS: Well, Biden has a very small window to get his deal done, Juan. Everybody knows that. But the word in Washington is that he doesn't have a strategy. He's known -- for three weeks he had the Senate, and everyone is saying, hey Joe, what do you want to do with COVID thing, and he hasn't told them what he wants to do. 

He only has two options, Juan. He can go big and bipartisan, that takes about a month and a half, or he goes smaller and partisan by nuking the filibuster, and that could come out quicker. So, you have big and slow, fast and more narrow, one party is happy or both parties happy. You know the drill. But everybody is saying, hey Joe, make a decision, and he won't act because he has no leadership or managerial skills.

WILLIAMS: Wow, OK. Ahead, new claims of cancel culture -- 

WATTERS: Wow is right.

WILLIAMS: -- over the publishing industry joining together to shut up conservatives. Next, on THE FIVE

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Hundreds of writers and editors now looking to ruin conservatives financially, or otherwise, by signing on to a letter. Yes, a letter titled no book deals for traitors. It demands that publishers ban memoirs by former Trump officials. 

So, I guess, Dagen, I guess this is an interesting way to write or rewrite history. Just simply ban the writing of it by people you disagree with. This seems like a really easy solution.

MCDOWELL: Yes, if only people -- if only people listen to them. I think that there's a huge financial opportunity. And I guarantee you these book publishers don't listen to these calls for canceling anybody who ever worked in the Trump administration. 

There's 74 million people plus out there who would -- who would gladly pick up one of these books and especially, again, just make some money especially given the fact. Here's a little tidbit from the innerwebs. Franken Jerk Jim Comey's new book that came out the first week of January, it opened at one percent of the first week sales of his last book. It literally is the biggest drop off in the history of book publishing. So, don't put your chips on Franken Jerk.

GUTFELD: Comey is not good with the tommies. How's that, Jesse, for a rhyme. You know, Jesse, you could publish one pro-Trump book every day for the next 10 years and still not match the contemporary output of anti-Trump screeds that are already out there. So, why do they need to ban anything when they're so far ahead?

WATTERS: Because they're soft. And if you think about it, the people on that list, they're not even editors. They're just small people. They're in academic circles. They can't cut a deal with any of these big-shot Trump people even if they had the juice. You're telling me Pence, Pompeo, Meadows, Kushner, Stephen Miller, those guys can't write their story? That's a part of the historical record.

They were in the room for coronavirus, for the Mideast peace deals, for the Kim summits. The American people deserve to know that. This isn't the first controversial administration that we've ever had. What about Nixon and Watergate? What about Truman dropped the a-bomber, FDR put the Japanese in internment camps?

You're saying nobody that worked for any of those guys gets to tell their side of the story? That's absolutely insane. 

GUTFELD: Juan, you have to agree. I mean, you write books. This is scary stuff. Books should have daring subject matter because people pay for the books. It's not like Twitter where it's free and therefore you can ban it. It's -- you know, this is like the last -- this is the last bastion. This is -- you ban this stuff, it's over. 

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, I see a little differently, Greg, because to my mind, first and foremost, these are private companies. And I think, you know, they're publishing houses, it's a private business. And I think conservatives would appreciate that a private business has a right to set its own rules and decide who they want to publish, so I don't -- I don't think there's any question there. 

I mean, right now you see some of the radio stations setting rules for people and say, you can't say that the election was stolen. Let's stop that. Or you see that corporate donors are saying, they don't want to back people in Congress, politicians, who took part in trying to block the certification of Biden's win as president. So that -- I mean these are decisions being made by private companies and I think everybody respects that. 

You know, to my mind though, if it was a matter of censoring somebody, I would be totally against it. I don't think it's a matter of censoring. They say these people are traitors to the republic and they don't see that as good for America. 

GUTFELD: So, that's interesting, Dana. Did you notice that? It's like, they can control the distribution of speech, but if they decide because they're pressured by a mob, it's OK because in their head they're traitors, right?

So, it's like it's totally OK to be pressured by a mob to ruin somebody's career because you know -- and what drives me crazy is what Juan just said. You can't -- now you just can't say the election is stolen. What does that mean that you just can't say something, you just can't say something? That's where we're at. I have a right to say stupid things as I have proven many times on this show.

PERINO: Thomas Spence is the publisher of Regnery, and they picked up the Josh Hawley book. They published a lot of conservative books. He said that -- first of all, I think this letter of the 500 is like really kind of like junior staffers. So, again -- 

GUTFELD: Right. They always are. 

PERINO: -- the younger staffers are making it harder for the adults, but the adults need to talk about pounding sand. Go do that. The other thing is these books get to be more famous. Greg, you are an English major. I know you've read all -- you know, all the books you can think of in history that have like staying power. They were controversial or they were the ones that people tried to stop. 

Those are the ones that actually -- I'm not saying that Josh Hawley's book is going to be like some -- like high literary event. But I will also say this. If any of those people that you mentioned, Pompeo, any of those people, if they said -- if Pompeo said to the publisher, I'm going to tell you my full story and I'm going to include seven examples of where Donald Trump was terrible, he would get a big, fat book contract. And that book would be controversial.

The last thing I will say is, all of these publishers, all of them, tried to get their authors on Fox News because Fox News readers -- viewers are also big readers. So, keep that in mind too.

GUTFELD: Yes. No, but your point about it's young people, this is the chilling future. We have young people who do not believe in the First Amendment. They don't. They believe that if they don't like your opinion, it should be silenced. That didn't exist before. And it's shameful that established authors aren't standing up to this kind of mob mentality.

PERINO: And defending others, absolutely. 

MCDOWELL: By the way, Greg, can I just add one quick thing? 

GUTFELD: Sure. 

MCDOWELL: The people who were indoctrinated on school campuses and college campuses, they are now within the halls and at these big tech companies that are censoring conservative voices. That's who they are.

GUTFELD: Yes. So, you know you are safe if you are not writing a daring book. That's why I wrote The Plus, an incredibly dangerous book. 

PERINO: And I wrote Every Thing Will Be OK.

GUTFELD: More of THE FIVE coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: I think I win music bump in today. All right, welcome back. The internet making some meme magic on this photo of a very casually dressed Bernie Sanders and his mittens at the inauguration. Here are the funniest one we found. Bernie Sanders sitting next to Forrest Gump and probably asking him, hey, can you redistribute a box of chocolate. Very good, from my producer, Sean. 

Also, here he is as the newest cast member of the Jersey Shore looking a little overdressed. And Bernie Sanders is also making a little cameo as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Jesse, I sent you one that I love with him on the couch with all of your friends on the set of Friends. 

WATTERS: Yes. He was right next to Schwimmer. It's a good place to be. Listen, this is so stupid, and I love it. The internet makes everyone so dumb. You can watch inauguration and take this away from it. I mean, many people have not even seen the Biden address, but they've seen the Bernie meme. And that's how dumb this country has become. And he was almost president. 

PERINO: Or Dagen -- 

WATTERS: How scary is that?

PERINO: Or, Dagen, it's also how great this country is, maybe?

MCDOWELL: Yes. He's dressed better than most of us during COVID, by the way. And I just want to run up to him and give him an inappropriately firm hug to de-grump him. He doesn't look happy to be there. 

PERINO: Juan, he was like one of the few who didn't try to match his mask to his outfit.

WILLIAMS: Yes. You know what? I thought about those mittens was this is an advantage of old age. It took me forever to realize that mittens keep your hands much warmer than the gloves. And you know -- so, I think -- I think he's practical and a hipster, because those are Vermont hipster gloves.

PERINO: Greg, did you want -- would you like a picture of you sitting next to Bernie Sanders and his mittens?

GUTFELD: Of course. I love all of these memes. But there were -- there were two memes missing. Like, him standing in line for bread in the Soviet Union, or him on a boat escaping Cuba. Those -- now, those would've been perfect for America's most lovable socialist.

PERINO: I have a feeling that the internet will respond and make that dream come true. All right, "One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: It's time for "One More Thing." Dana Perino.

PERINO: I think Greg has got to order some food and I got to do my "One More Thing." So, Bill Hemmer and I are co-hosting "America's Newsroom" together. We did a podcast today on his podcast called Hemmer Time. It's only about 20 minutes. It's pretty hilarious. I would recommend it, Fox News podcast -- foxnews.com/podcast, right, Greg? Help me. 

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: It's so hard. Why is that so hard every week?

GUTFELD: Exactly. Why is it so hard? I cannot plug my podcast because it's like Fox News dot podcast slash Fox. It's like, come on, make it easy for people. 

PERINO: That's all.

WATTERS: You know how I do it? I just don't have a podcast.

PERINO: Perfect.

WATTERS: Then, I don't have to worry about it. All right, I thought I was the most famous pitchman for Rhoback. You know, obviously, I have a little bit of an ego. But on Wednesday, I discovered there's someone even more famous than I am that rocks the Rhoback. Watch this at the inauguration. 

That is 43 with the Rhoback mask right there. W rock in the Rhoback. You can see it on the side. You got the American flag right there. Great taste by our former president. And they have plenty in stock at Rhoback. They also have some hoodies. Go check those out. Greg. 

GUTFELD: All right, let's do this. Greg's what did this dog do to deserve this ovation quiz. All right. Let's take a look at this ovation. We don't have much time. And I want to find out what exactly -- look at this. Everybody is very happy. He has no idea. He has no idea why everybody's clapping for him. He's very, very excited. But he has no idea why. What could it be, Dagen? Why is he being applauded? 

MCDOWELL: Because he's in the chair.

GUTFELD: Juan, do you have any thoughts?

WILLIAMS: He ate his dinner. He ate all his food.

GUTFELD: There you go. He didn't poop on the floor. 

WATTERS: That's what Juan feels on "The Five" when he makes a good point. 

WATTERS: All right, Juan, I'm sorry, we're going to have to let you go. I'm sure it was something about your beautiful family, so we'll catch you up tomorrow. That's it for us. "Special Report" is up next with Bret Baier.

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