Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 5, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: I thought those were my pants. Yes.

Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, and she sleeps in a matchbox, it's Dana Perino.

This is "The Five."

(MUSIC)

GUTFELD: It's time for my "Die Hard" theory.

In the film, as in life, there are three key characters. The hero who saves the day through cunning
bravery, "John McClane." Then, there are those who help him out like "Officer Powell." And then, there's that one obnoxious jerk who constantly screams "we're all going to die" and nearly ruins it for everybody by bungling their escape, like evil Harry Ellis -- you remember him.

You don't want to be that guy, especially when talking about Ebola.

First of all, cursory homework shows you're not at risk unless you swap spit or other bodily fluids with the infected. Diseases like these are hygienically borne and terminated by isolation.

Second, if that American doctor, a hero who put other's lives before his own, can't come here for treatment, then where? If you believe America is the greatest country bar none, then we're the only place in town. He didn't go to Canada or England, which says much about our private health care and little about their socialized alternative.

Of course, you should always stress precautions. That's helpful, especially if you're in the media. When you suggest, however that chaos reigns in a hospital where there might be an Ebola patient, you're not helping. You may get more attention or eyeballs but you're a creep. Cover the Kardashians instead, at least you won't hurt anybody and it might stop the hysteria, because unlike Ebola, it spread by hot air.

All right. A lot of interesting stuff coming out. I talked to Dr. Marc
Siegel. Basically, this patient that's being tested means nothing because
hospitals --

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: In New York.

GUTFELD: Yes, in New York, because hospitals have to test you no matter
what, and they have to isolate you to cover their behinds. The guy is
doing fine. According to Dr. Siegel, there's probably no chance he has the
virus.

So why the reactionary response, Dana?

PERINO: Well, because it is a deadly disease and there is concern. I
think what you're referring to -- are you referring to the front page of
"The New York Post" --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- that led with that there was a guy that might have Ebola? I
call this --

GUTFELD: We all might have it.

PERINO: It's shark bite story of 2014. Usually, every summer there's the
story of shark bites and you have to be worried if you're near the shore.
I think there's reason to be concerned that there are people that are
coming, possibly coming in to the country who are infected but don't know
it. And then, you know, could be additional problems.

But as you said, you have to be educated about how it is spread. It's not
like SARS. Remember when there was the SARS epidemic in Southeast Asia and
it started spreading. That actually was a little bit more worrisome
because it was spread through, if I can be talking to Bob and he could end
up with SARS.

GUTFELD: He already has SARS.

PERINO: And he survived.

GUTFELD: Yes. (INAUDIBLE) with Bob is, he has Ebola and SARS and he's --

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: And you're fine.

GUTFELD: And he gets healthier.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: You could get something else just from talking
to Bob. I should be in a hazmat suit.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Let me throw to Dr. Siegel, this is him earlier talking about the
risk.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DR. MARC SIEGEL, FOX NEWS MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR: You told me, Dr. Frieden,
that you can use the same kind of quarantine they use for SARS. And Dr.
Fauci, the head of NIA -- he National Institute of Allergy and Infectious
Diseases, the most prominent infectious disease expert in the country, he
told me that it's an infinitesimally small chance that this particular
people would spread here. With the health care system we have and the
ability to contain this, neither of these experts were worried about spread
here.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Should we be worried, Andrea?

TANTAROS: Well, I do think there's cause for concern. I mean, you have
190,000 flights coming in to JFK alone, 21 million people a year. A lot of
them coming from this region of the world.

I will say this -- in places like New York City, they do practice
alternative medicine. So you could have somebody come from one of these
countries, go visit a family member and go see a nontraditional doctor who
practices Santeria in neighborhoods like Queens. This is not unheard of,
if he comes with a family member, if somebody gets sick on a flight from
JFK because it's passed through bodily fluids, through vomit or something
else.

I mean, look, I don't think there should be hysteria around this, but this
is something that has killed 900 people. If you get it, you have a 90
percent chance of dying. And you see, the people that are caring for these
people are in hazmat suits.

So, if someone has the Ebola virus and they are blocks away, you probably
are not going to get it, but the people who are caring for those people are
the ones that are in danger, or the family members that they come in
contact with. So, while I don't think we should all be freaking out, I do
think it's cause for concern and if this does start to spread, it will hurt
our economy and it will hurt our health care system. No question.

I mean, now, as you mentioned, Greg, we're testing to make sure that
someone with symptoms, anyone who goes into a hospital with flu-like
symptoms has to be tested to make sure it's not a false positive.

GUTFELD: Right, it's costly. The point you make, Eric, and it's a good
point, you have to get -- you have to actually come in to contact. If
you're worried about Ebola, don't come in to contact. Don't go to West
Africa.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I love you, brother, but I think it's dangerous,
dangerous to say let's calm the rhetoric down because we don't know.

GUTFELD: Yes, we do know.

BOLLING: No, we don't know.

GUTFELD: Yes, we do.

BOLLING: So far, we know maybe about 900 people have died in Africa.

GUTFELD: Why did they die?

BOLLING: And could be more.

GUTFELD: Why did they die, though?

BOLLING: We don't --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes, we do know how they died. It's from retro practices. They
wash their corpses. We don't watch our corpses.

BOLLING: I think British Air was smart for grounding all their flights in
and out of Sierra Leone and Liberia for one month. They did that today. I
think they're smart. Until they know what's going on.

I think it was foolish to bring two people with known Ebola virus
infections into the country, at a cost of $200,000 per person just to get
them here, who knows how much more? And I think --

GUTFELD: You turn down a doctor who risked his life to save other people's
lives, an American doctor, you would turn him down? How sick is that?

BOLLING: No, bring them there. Bring the CDC there. Let them treat him -
-

GUTFELD: Emory is a private institution that can actually treat them.

BOLLING: If people want to go there -- listen, I think it's fantastic what
he did as a Christian. I think he was Christian-like --

GUTFELD: So, let him die over there? That's what you said.

BOLLING: Let me put it this way. It's my opinion. I'm entitled to my --
this is a debate show.

GUTFELD: As wrong as it is.

BOLLING: As wrong as my opinion, according to you is, I think we need to
know more. I think we need to know exactly if it is only transferred
through bodily fluids and we're not exactly positive. Greg, it has 90
percent mortality rate.

GUTFELD: Sixty percent.

BOLLING: Well, it's up to 90.

GUTFELD: Sixty percent.

BOLLING: It's up to 90.

GUTFELD: Let's work with the facts. Here's how it's spread -- contact of
secretion of the sick or the corpses. There are in West Africa, the reason
why it's a large increase is because it started in rural areas which can be
localize and isolated.

BOLLING: I get it.

GUTFELD: I know you don't want to listen to the facts.

BOLLING: No, no, Greg, I do like listening to the facts. I would like to
also inject my opinion.

GUTFELD: Opinion needs to be based on fact.

BOLLING: I'm done.

GUTFELD: OK, Bob?

BOLLING: Listen, if you go to Twitter account, I'll tell you --

GUTFELD: Yes, go to Twitter and get the science from his Twitter account.

BECKEL: I think -- I think part of the problem here is that this is an
African disease and we had AIDS came out of Africa, a number of diseases in
West Africa. There are no borders, really. You talk about borders, people
back and forth.

But the fact of the matter is there is -- when you start something like
this and you start to ratchet it up too high whether you know it or don't
know it, you have to take into account somebody like Siegel and others who
understand, Fauci, who understand these things to say, this guy is safe.

By the way, he did go to Emory, but he's treated by government doctors from
CDC. I know, I had to burst your bubble on something, didn't I?

But I -- so, I don't particularly worry about it. I think tuberculosis is
a bigger problem, frankly, than this is.

But I can understand Eric's point. We don't have all facts here, but we
have enough of them I think to say, here's a guy that did the right thing
and he is going to get the right treatment here, and I think everything is
going to be fine. I don't think anybody ought to spread it beyond that.

TANTAROS: But we are -- can we agree, we are in unchartered territory
here. I mean, there's no question, I think, that people are -- they are
freaking out and they want facts and they want information. And that's why
we're covering this because it's important.

GUTFELD: All right.

TANTAROS: And some people are asking the question and that's why we're
debating it why can't they people be treated offshore? Is there an option
for a military hospital? Should they be brought here?

There is cause for concern, having them being brought here. My concern
like I said initially, was these international flights, 21 international
passengers that may not seek medical treatment or may throw up on a plane,
there may be an incident like that. I just don't want it to be pushed to
the side completely because we don't know.

And, frankly, I don't trust people who are in charge particularly here in
New York City and the White House to get this thing under control.

GUTFELD: Let me bring Dana in here, because we say that we don't
understand this. Ebola has been around for 40 years. There have been
outbreaks which end by using the tactics of isolation and medical
practices. The reason why this is different is because you're dealing with
a culture that is superstitious of medical practices and isolation.

So, you bring the infected person here, to the best medical facility in the
world, and you treat him because he deserves it. So, the fact is, why --
is a reason why people are freaking out is because the media is filling up
space with hysteria because it's slow news?

PERINO: As I said, like the shark bite story from before. I also think
that there could be some good that comes out of this, because the CDC is
involved. You have these two American doctors, they are brought in
isolation. They are being held in intensive care fore. And it is possible
that through them coming back, they were -- they basically have given their
lives to take care of these people. They got sick. They come back.

And now, because of the research being done on them, we might get even
closer to being able to find a cure that would help people all over the
world, and that's something that still, we're -- America, we might disagree
about exceptionalism especially when it comes to our military, but when it
comes to medical diplomacy, we're still the best at it in the world.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BECKEL: Remember that movie where they had this African village and they
flew in a big bomb and blew the thing in. Well, somehow, it got into
California, the little town in California and it spread. It was called
Ebola, I think. I bet every network is going to put that thing on the air
now because it's hot, right?

GUTFELD: Eric, last word. How does panic help?

BOLLING: One more -- panic, I'm not saying panic, Greg. I'm saying, be
careful. Be smart.

Wait until you have all the facts before you decide indiscriminately that
it's OK to bring Ebola patients to the United States. Do we know --

GUTFELD: It's not indiscriminate. It was a doctor.

BOLLING: Here's the point, we don't know if it's two people --

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Let me finish this, one thought and I'll shut up.

PERINO: You're not making sense. We brought two people back.

BOLLING: Right.

PERINO: Government-sponsored. That was controlled.

You're talking about two separate things. The concern is that people that
are coming we don't know if they are sick.

BOLLING: Correct, agree. That's my point.

PERINO: You've been mixing the two from the beginning of the segment,
which is why everyone is so frustrated.

BOLLING: Really? OK, because here's my point --

PERINO: I'm just been sitting here listening for 10 minutes.

BOLLING: I don't think we have enough information. I don't think it's
smart to willingly bring two people who have it back to the United States.
And I think before you go ahead and say it's OK and sound the all clear,
you do things -- British Airways is very smart. They are not going to lose
a ton of money.

GUTFELD: So, British -- you would be OK -- British Airways would not have
taken -- would not have turned down a British doctor who was trying to save
lives.

We got to go. Next on "The Five," there's been a rise in anti-Semitism
around the world while Israel tries to defend itself. An update on the
conflict in the Middle East.

Stay tuned.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: One of the sadder by-products of the conflict between Israel and
Hamas has been the alarming trend of anti-Semitism throughout the world,
especially in Europe. Protests and violence have rocketed cities from
Paris, Rome and Berlin, even making their way here to New York City.

Former British forces commander, Colonel Richard Kemp, says precedent shows
that world leaders should be more forceful in their condemnation of these
acts.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COL. RICHARD KEMP, FORMER BRITISH FORCES COMMANDER IN AFGHANISTAN: Our
world leaders in many cases have not stood up and told the truth as they
know it to be. They have been pandering too much to the minority
communities sometimes in their country and to Islamic feeling, which is
hugely significant. Many people in the world and in Europe in particular,
think that you can appease your way out of the kind of, the threat that
radical Islam presents. It's going back to the 1930s when there was huge
appeasement of Hitler. It's the same thing. It's moral cowardice.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: I spoke to a contact at the National Holocaust Museum today, and
he said that consensus is anti-Semitism is worse now than it has been since
World War II.

I want to maybe start, Greg, with you. You said something the other day.
The governments of these countries the official word from these countries
is that they condemn such protests, they are trying to get information be
more, I guess, asking them not to be anti-Semitic. The problem is that
it's gone from government into the culture and how do you get it back out?

GUTFELD: Well, anti-Semitism arises as practitioners are tolerating the
abysmal behavior of others. The person screaming "kill the Jews" remains
quiet about Islamic misogyny and homophobia. Anti-Semitism, the spread of
anti-Semitism is trailing the movement of radical Islam into Europe. So,
there's no surprise that it's on the increase. You couple that with
educated young adults infected on campus by professors who are also anti-
Israel, that's basically Ebola spread by a pony tail.

So, the amazing irony is you have more hate going on the campus than you do
in military industrial complex where people actually get along. But most
of this hate -- I mean, it's cowardice because these critics think it's
brave to criticize Israel. But they know Israel won't behead them on the
street.

So, they don't go after radical Islam. None of the pop stars in England go
after radical Islam. All they do is rag on Israel because they know they
won't get killed. Well done.

PERINO: Didn't you bring up the other day a band, though, that you said
that you can't support any more because they did --

GUTFELD: White Family. They're a great band. But they went after Israel
and it's like, you know what? That's not brave that's stupid.

PERINO: So, they're losing a fan but they're probably picking up some of
the young people.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Bob, Carter, Jimmy Carter, today said that he believes that Israel
needs to recognize Hamas as a legitimate political actor. This is a former
president that doesn't seem too worried about his legacy in America but
maybe around the world because that's certainly not --

BECKEL: I'm surprised you direct this question at me.

PERINO: Give us some insight as to what he's thinking.

BECKEL: I think what he's thinking is -- first of all, can I comment on
the anti-Semitism in Europe.

PERINO: Oh, yes, certainly.

BECKEL: This is not -- this is not a new phenomenon. It goes back --

PERINO: But it's a growing phenomenon.

BECKEL: Yes, it is a growing phenomenon, and has been going by the way in
Germany and France. These right-wing movements around even before this all
happened.

The -- when you couple that with fact that these countries, they refuse to
stand up and say something about this are the same ones that allowed Muslim
residents to move into their country, France and Germany and England and,
of course, they are going to be worried about it.

But, you know, you can't just sort of bow down to these people and allow
anti-Semitism to happen. So, whoever these kids were that did it on the
church, they should have been not hung, but they should have put away in
jail for a long time.

Now on Carter, this is what -- you have to say this. I think what he's
thinking is that there was an election in Gaza, there are a number of
people from Hamas who were elected.

Now, we mentioned on this show there should be another election. I think
that's probably a good point, see where the Gaza people are. But they are
in that sense, quote, "a legitimate political force" in Gaza. They are
terrorists. They are murderers.


Now, I don't know of another political force outside the Nazis that would
reach that conclusion, even the Nazis were not elected fairly. But the
Hamas people were. So, I think that's what he was thinking. I don't think
the timing is the best --

PERINO: Probably not, probably not.

Let me ask, Eric, when you have this phenomenon that's growing and then you
have a former president of the United States kind of giving credibility to
their arguments, how do you as culturally try to turn back the tide?

BOLLING: Very interesting what's going on, right? So, historically, Jews
in America have voted Democrat. They lean left and vote Democrat. What's
going on now with this conflict, it seems like the Republicans, the
conservatives are backing Israel in the conflict and pushing away from
Gaza, while the left -- if you watch MSNBC, you watch the other networks,
NBC, they are more sympathetic to Hamas or the Gaza side, and it's very,
very interesting.

George Soros, big left wing nut job investor, decided to divest everything
that he had that had Israel headquarters, SodaStream, a couple of the other
companies. Why is this? Why is the left now choosing to side with Hamas
and Gaza? I can't figure it out.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: They are, Bob. It's pretty they are.

PERINO: It is interesting, because, for example --

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: It's opposite now.

PERINO: Remember, I think it was two weeks ago when we were talking about
Christians and women and children who are being killed in Mosul, Iraqi
Christians and the State Department said it was concerned. Yesterday, it
said it was appalled by actions by Hamas. The language is different.

TANTAROS: It is different. Hamas is occupying Gaza. Israel has said,
look, it's not that Israel is saying there can't be a two-state solution.
They've already said that before.

But Hamas' mission is to obliterate Israel. It doesn't believe that they
should exist. So, that's why I can't understand is why our position on
terrorist organizations have changed? It's one thing if you want to have a
debate about the Palestinians and the Israelis. This is something totally
different because we are talking about a terrorist organization.

On Jimmy Carter, Bob says I don't know what he was thinking. He wasn't
thinking. Jimmy Carter doesn't think. He's saying that terrorism is a
legitimate form of political expression. And it's not.

And if we start to say that, Dana, then we have to say that ISIS is a
legitimate political actor. Al Qaeda is a political actor. Hezbollah is a
legitimate political actor.

And introducing a bill in Congress is just like what they are doing
establish their political goals.

I do want to say that this spread of anti-Semitism, I lived in Paris for a
long period of time and I saw this bubbling up of this northern African
immigration that happened in the 1960s, it happened in England, it happened
in France, it happened in Germany. Bob is absolutely right.

Now, you have this culture where they are rising up. I do think that it is
something to be deeply concerned about. Look at "Newsweek" this week.

BECKEL: Take it out of my block. I got to say one thing.

PERINO: I have to toss it to --

BECKEL: Come on.

PERINO: I do. We're going to get right back. Shepard Smith in the
newsroom is next.

SHEPARD SMITH, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: An update on the sad news of the day. FOX
News has confirmed that the general killed in Afghanistan was Major General
Harold Greene. His next of kin have been notified. He's the highest
ranking American to die in action for our nation since the Vietnam War.

The Pentagon officials say a man believed to an afghan soldier opened fire
on a training camp near Kabul this morning, as many as 15 people wounded.
About half of the injured were Americans and General Greene was killed.

As for him, he's a native of Upstate New York, received his commission as
an engineer officer following his graduation from Rensselaer Polytechnic in
1980. He holds a PhD from the University of Southern California in
material science. His military education includes Army War College. His
awards include Legion of Merit with three oak leaf clusters, the
Meritorious Service Medal with the silver cluster, the Army Commendation
Medal with three oak leaf clusters, the Army Achievement Medal and the Army
Superior Unit Award.

According to the reporting of the "The Washington Post" newspaper, he's
survived by his wife Susan and his son Matthew who serves today in the
United States military in the Army.

Major General Harold J. Greene died today in Afghanistan.

I'm Shepard Smith.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: Welcome back to the fastest seven minutes in news. Three
compelling stories, seven cursory minutes, one cogent host, at least to
some who's listening.

So, first up, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has vowed not to cave to
activist pressure to change the name of his football team. He makes a
valid case that the media is more concerned about creating controversy for
ratings than addressing the real problems within the Native American
community. Listen.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

DAN SNYDER, REDSKINS OWNER: It's sort of fun to talk about the name of our
football team because it gets some attention for some of the people that
write it that need clicks or what-have-you. But the reality is nobody
talks about what's going on reservations, the fact that they have such high
unemployment rates, health care issues, education issues, environmental
issues, lack of water, lack of electricity. No one wants to talk about
that stuff, because it's not -- it's not a cocktail, chitchat talk.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

BOLLING: So, Ands, is about it the name or just the clicks of the
eyeballs?

TANTAROS: Well, he's partially right, I think.

I do think the media is distracting and making this a PC issue. When you
make comments like that during an interview when you're supposed to be
talking about football and you actually feed the beast, you're not helping
the cause. And if Snyder keeps making these comments, he will have to
change the name, because I do think that could be taken out of context. He
should just focus on sports and deflect, and not again feed the story.

Micheal Tuff from "The Washington Times" has a great point, name it the
Washington Reagans or even the Gipper, that has these sports analogy, why
not?

PERINO: That would make the liberals even more mad.

TANTAROS: Yes, there you go. Would they like that?

BECKEL: No.

BOLLING: You're a Skins fan, right?

BECKEL: Yes.

BOLLING: Is this controversy actually good for the team, maybe?

BECKEL: I don't know if it's good. It's been going on every year since
I've lived there. So, it's 37 years.

PERINO: Since the Civil War?

BECKEL: It's just not -- what?

PERINO: Since the Civil War?

BECKEL: Since the Civil War, yes. We got started just before the Civil
War. And then they had it shut down for the war, and everybody got
started.

But I think that Snyder (ph) is right here. Why does he need to -- all the
things he put out there are real problems with the reservation. A lot of
these is why a lot of the people who don't like the name Redskins don't
like it. So I mean, it's kind of like I don't get it. The very people --
the people who are concerned about things like the name of the Redskins,
they say absolutely not.

BOLLING: Dana, as his press secretary, would you advise him to go that
route?

PERINO: When it comes took a professional PR person, he makes a very good
owner of a football team, and he should maybe stick to that.

However, I kind of -- here's the thing about him. We -- we tried to put
ourselves in his shoes, but we can't fit in his shoes. His shoes are so
big. It's like they're like -- only his head is bigger than his shoes.

And so he doesn't care what the media thinks. And he tweets, and what's
interesting is I think the interviewer should have said, "And what have you
done to address any of the things that you just talked about?"

There's absolutely -- I don't know of anything that Dan Snyder has done
regarding those reservations.

TANTAROS: You missed his point.

PERINO: I don't care if he does.

TANTAROS: He says he has done a lot for it, and that's where he was
leading the interviewer.

PERINO: Oh.

BOLLING: And...

PERINO: Well, maybe I should have listened to more.

TANTAROS: And he didn't get the follow-up question.

BOLLING: Is the media wrong in highlighting the fact that the Native
American community is upset about the Redskins' name?

GUTFELD: I think both sides could be wrong in this. And I do think that
he might not be able to be controlling the conversation any more. Whenever
he's being interviewed they're going to ask him.

TANTAROS: Right.

GUTFELD: So he's going to have to always address this. I'd say 99 percent
of the heat generated off this story is media generated. It's a self-
perpetuating hysteria machine where somebody asks the question and he
answers it. Then the next day somebody does it. And it doesn't stop.

So that -- I think -- I still think the name is kind goofy. I can agree
with it. But I -- it's got to be great if that's your only problem.
That's what I don't understand is like, if that -- he's making the point,
if you've got all these other issues and you're focusing on this. You
know, not just him, but the media is. You've got to have a great life if
that's only your...

PERINO: They have a good team this year?

BECKEL: They have a pretty good.

BOLLING: They do have -- they have a lot of media attention. The name is
everywhere. And maybe that's what it's all about.

PERINO: If they lose -- if they lose a bunch of games it's going to put
them in a hard position.

BOLLING: Good reason to...

BECKEL: Can't hardly lose....

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Put two MMA bad-boy fighters on a stage, cameras rolling, look
what will tend to happen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(CHEERING)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: And just afterward here's how the two guys saw it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I walked right up to him. He walked right up to me. I
put my chin down.

I just figured it was going to be a great photo op. It was going to get
the fans really excited. I did not expect to get hit in the throat. I got
hit in the throat right away. I reacted out of sheer instinct.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There's not a man walking this earth that will get into
my face, put -- put his head on me and push me forward without me actually
reacting.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. So, we report, you decide. Greg, emotional reaction
or publicity stunt?

GUTFELD: I don't know. The happy ending is they both got married in a
tasteful ceremony. But you know what? Here's the point. Why are you
giving the milk away for free? Like OK, now you don't have to see the
fight.

PERINO: No, because then you're going to tune in to watch the fight.
That's the point.

GUTFELD: I stand corrected.

PERINO: I think it's fake.

BOLLING: Fake? Publicity stunt?

Do you?

TANTAROS: This is from the MMA. I thought this was the beginning of our
show between you and Greg. No?

PERINO: And they're going to get married afterwards.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TANTAROS: I don't think that's going to happen. But...

GUTFELD: We'll live together.

TANTAROS: See, this makes me now want to watch the fight between them.
Although who would put your chin in -- I wouldn't go anywhere near either
of these two guys. That to me is instigation.

BECKEL: I don't -- I consider ultimate fighting the worst possible sport.

GUTFELD: Do you like boxing?

BECKEL: I do. I do like boxing.

BOLLING: How do you like boxing and not that?

BECKEL: Because in boxing, it used to be, before Don King came along --
I'd better be careful here. The -- I'm going to be careful. Forget it.

PERINO: Wow.

BOLLING: Let me ask you this, Bob. Have you literally sat and watched a
full night of MMA?

BECKEL: I have. And I think it's the most ridiculous and obnoxious,
disgusting thing for a bunch of people who couldn't make it in the boxing
ring.

BOLLING: They -- let me just tell you something, Bob.

TANTAROS: You better get somebody to start your car.

BOLLING: I will say those guys will beat the boxers. All right.

All right. And how about this one? You know what the fastest way to a
viewer's heart is, right? Puppies, obviously. But you know the second
fastest route to your viewer's hearts? Soft, mushy dad commercials.
Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My name is dad and I'm proud of it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Kids think we're awesome. We get our hands messy. We
tell hilarious jokes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We never say no to dress up. We build the best sports.
We work, work and do homework.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We lead by example. We blow their minds.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Now, a dad's job isn't always easy. The rule is
broken. We're the enforcement. Hey, buddy, it's garbage day. When a
heart is broken, we're the reinforcement. And we wouldn't have it any
other way. Because being a dad is awesome.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: All right. Quick round, starting with the dad. Go ahead, Bobby.
Your thoughts?

BECKEL: First of all, I don't think puppies are the fastest way to
anybody's hearts. It's a waste of time.

And by the way, if that's a typical dad, I mean, come on. It doesn't
happen that way. And what's that commercial for? Cheerios?

BOLLING: Yes, you know what? There's the problem. You're 100 percent
right. You can't figure out what the commercial is for. Anybody else?

PERINO: Maybe they don't really -- it doesn't matter because they got
national media attention or we're talking about it. Do you think that the
ad is really good, but it doesn't quite match the product? I don't know if
Michelle Obama would approve of the sugary cereal.

GUTFELD: I'm deeply offended. Why does the dad have to be a guy? So
hetero-normative. A girl totting Cheerios.

No, the reason why you like it, it's refreshing, because most dads are
viewed as knuckleheads in TV sit-coms. They're always falling over,
hitting a rake. So it's nice to see a dad that's being appreciated in the
culture that's forgetting about him.

TANTAROS: I was actually going to say, finally, the dad is not a doofus.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TANTAROS: Like on "The Family Guy" or the commercial, right, where the guy
can't figure out how to work the cable, and the kid has all the answers.

But I did think it's an interesting cultural commentary where, if you look,
the wife is in the back working on the computer, and the dad is taking more
of the mom duties, which is sort of the trend that's happening in our
culture. So it's fascinating to see that.

BOLLING: We're going to leave it right there.

BECKEL: Another thought.

BOLLING: Yes, Bob? Cheerios.

BECKEL: No, man, I didn't say anything.

BOLLING: Love the dad on "Family Guy."

Ahead on "The Five" -- (UNINTELLIGIBLE) -- the walk of shame, when women
and men make the trip back to their dorm, apartment, wherever, Nine West
has a new line of shoes for women who want to capitalize on those few
dismal moments on the morning after.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TANTAROS: So can shoes help women find a husband? Nine West is claiming
that its shoes can, as part of a new controversial ad campaign. One ad
reads, "Starter Husband Hunting." It shows a women in leopard pumps
holding an arrow near an archery target.

And then, there's this one to sell bags, titled "Anticipatory Walk of
Shame." In case you don't know what a walk of shame is or you've never
left Bob Beckel's apartment at 7 a.m., it's leaving someone's home in the
same clothes as the night before after a one night stand.

Nine West defends the campaign, saying, quote, "We have to change the way
that we talk about occasions, because women are modern now and shop for a
different reason." But does the modern women really need a shoe company's
help to go husband hunting?

Well, I disagree with this, Dana. I do not pick my shoes based on an
occasion. So I'm not buying them going, "Oh, I'm going to wear shoes like
this." This will be like this in the ad, because I want to do a walk of
shame or find -- I just buy it because I think it's hot. Yes?

PERINO: Well, I've been married for 16 years, so the shoes I wear are a
little more comfortable at this point. Arch support, little lower heel.
But this -- they are going after the women who watch "The Bachelorette." I
don't blame them.  

BECKEL: Oh, good for you. Thank you. That was good of you, Dana.

PERINO: And also the other one. I'm not bringing that up. But what's the
other one with Lena Dunham? "Girls." OK, like that's their market. And
so I don't blame them for going after it, because our culture, it's not
just the ad company. The ad company actually followed pop culture, which
took the lead. You see what I mean?

TANTAROS: I guess I don't understand -- as someone who has a black belt in
shoe buying, I just -- I don't buy shoes and go, "Wow, this is going to
look amazing when I'm walking home from a guy's" -- I mean...

GUTFELD: But you know, you bring up the most important point about this
campaign and what feminists seem to miss, that the myth that women buy
shoes for men or the myth that men -- that women buy purses for men. They
buy them for other women.

TANTAROS: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's like no man, no man who likes a woman will go, "Oh, I hope
she wears those $1,200 shoes tonight." He doesn't care if you're wearing
$10 moccasins.

PERINO: Joshua cares.

GUTFELD: But you will -- there will be feminist outrage, because how dare
you admit a fundamental truth, that millions of women would like to find a
guy and marry them or have a child, because that's part of the ad that's
also apparently offensive.
TANTAROS: Well, I also thought, too, wasn't the goal to find a husband
and to get married and to stay married? They're saying a starter husband.
So they're glorifying the divorce. I mean, divorce is pretty painful,
Eric. So it's like "Go out and find your first husband with the
anticipation of a second and maybe a third."

PERINO: That's not good.

BOLLING: Can you help me out here? So they're saying the occasion is the
walk of shame the next morning?

TANTAROS: Correct.

BOLLING: And wear your shoe -- put a shoe on...

PERINO: You want to look cute on your walk of shame.

BOLLING: You want to make sure you look good on your walk of shame, to
highlight the walk of shame?

BECKEL: I know about shoes...

BOLLING: And the starter husband thing, what is this?

TANTAROS: Yes, the starter husband. They're basically telling girls,
preparing them to be married once, maybe twice, maybe three times. I
thought the goal was to get married one time and to stay married. And also
you don't really glorify the one-night stand. When I was in college, the
girl who did it was made fun of. It wasn't a badge of honor.

BOLLING: You know there used to be a ritual on a Saturday and a Sunday
morning at the fraternity house at school, where you just watch the girls
go. OK.

BECKEL: OK.

TANTAROS: I will say this, Greg says men don't care about women in heels.
But I disagree. I mean, they don't care about the price. But I buy it
because it looks nice on my leg. Don't men notice a nice pair of legs in
high heels?

BECKEL: Well, they do at a stripper club. But the -- here's the thing.
This thing looks like a good pair of shoes with measles. And -- and I've
never heard of Nine West before. I think the whole ad campaign...

PERINO: Oh, come on.

BECKEL: I never have. I swear to God. I swear to God...

GUTFELD: You told me you thought it was Kanye's kid.

BECKEL: Yes. That's what I was saying, it was Kanye's kid, right? That
was your joke.

I mean, are you serious about this? This is to help you get a husband?
Whoever buys into that deal, man, must be a lousy husband.

PERINO: You would know.

BECKEL: Now, the walk of shame is a whole different story.

TANTAROS: Another cultural commentary on the state of affairs in America.

Up next, some very exciting news for Scrabble players. Bob's going to tell
you, and we might even play a game or two when "The Five" returns.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(MUSIC: ACE OF BASS, "I SAW THE SIGN")

BECKEL: Ace of Bass?

It's been a decade since Scrabble's dictionary was last updated, but
faithful players now have 5,000 new words they can put on the board. Among
them "chillax" -- whatever that is -- "selfie," "bromance." That's really
weird. "Bling."

Did any of you guys here at the table play Scrabble? Anybody play this
ridiculous game? I can't spell, so I don't play it. But...

PERINO: Really?

BECKEL: You play? I don't play. I don't think I've ever played it.

PERINO: I like it.

BECKEL: Greg, do you play it?

GUTFELD: No, actually, I've never played it in my life. My favorite game
growing up was the game called "The Dating Game," because I had three older
sisters. And we would play this and combine it with the Ouija board so we
could actually date ghosts.

BECKEL: There you go. OK, let's go ahead. Let's talk about that. What's
your favorite game when you were growing up? Besides that.

PERINO: Well, that wasn't the question we were asked. My favorite one
growing up...

BECKEL: Not growing -- what's your favorite game?

PERINO: Hungry Hippos, Life, Operation. But I really loved Pictionary. I
think that's my favorite game. I liked to play it when I was a kid, and I
love to play it now.

TANTAROS: You didn't really.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Of course I did.

GUTFELD: You used to job on Candy Land.

TANTAROS: Wait, wait. That's my favorite game. Full-screen now.

BECKEL: What about you. What's your favorite game?

BOLLING: You have to be careful who you play Scrabble with, because people
cheat. Because there's a dictionary, a Scrabble dictionary. And if you
put a word out there, and they say, "I'm going to look up your word and see
if it's legit," even though it is legit, and they see, like, four letters
down looking at their next word, looking for a move to play. So keep your
eye on the cheaters.

My favorite game of all time, Monopoly.

BECKEL: No surprise.

BOLLING: I learned a life lesson playing Monopoly when I was around 8
years old. I'm not sure if I told this story before. I'm playing with my
dad, and I'm killing him. I'm crushing him. I'm all over the board. He
has a few properties.

He's almost out of money. He goes, "Hey, can you give me some money?" I
gave him a $500 -- you know, the $500 bills in Monopoly. I gave him one
$500 bill, and he came back and he beat me. As I'm about to lose, I'm
like, "Dad, can I get the 500 back?"

He said, "No, but learn."

PERINO: Smart.

BOLLING: And I swear to God. You know how you swear on your children?

BECKEL: Yes.

BOLLING: I swear on my son that is an absolute true story. And I learned.

PERINO: I loved Clue, as well. That was the other one.

BECKEL: How about you? Who do you like?

TANTAROS: First I want to know can I borrow 500 bucks?

BOLLING: No.

TANTAROS: I like Candy Land, like Greg said. I don't still play it but
when I was younger. And Twister was always really fun. But I'm like Dana.
I loved board games when I was little. What was some other ones?
Scattergories.

PERINO: Connect Four.

TANTAROS: Yes. Those were so good.

PERINO: Great underrated game.

BOLLING: Risk. Anybody play Risk?

PERINO: I never understood it.

GUTFELD: Are there any chess players here?

BECKEL: No. I can't...

PERINO: Can you tell?

BECKEL: I can't play checkers. My favorite game is Clue. I really played
Clue.

PERINO: Yes, that's good.

BECKEL: I liked Clue. I liked it. It was great.

BOLLING: Did you have one?

BECKEL: Yes. You can cheat on that, too.

BOLLING: You read the clue (ph).

BECKEL: Huh? That's funny.

PERINO: It was mean.

BOLLING: That was mean?

BECKEL: Well, OK. Fine. What else is new? "One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: All right. It's "One More Thing." I'm going to start it off.

This has probably happened to you. You're coming home to your farm, and
can't find any of your cows. They're, like, all over the place, and you
have no way to get all your cows back. Well, what's his name? Farmer
Derek Klingenberg has a solution. He serenades with a trombone, and this
is what happens.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(MUSIC)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: We can't show you the end, where all the cattle eat him alive
because of that irritating trombone -- Dana.

PERINO: OK, I was going share with you something that happened to me this
morning.

I had a dream that I think might give us a clue on whether or not Hillary
Clinton is going to run for president.

In my dream, I was having dinner with Hillary Clinton, my husband, Peter,
and Donna Brazile, who's a Democratic strategist and my friend. And we
were all talking, and Hillary is being very coy. And I told her that I
thought Al Gore might run for president. And she said, "Is that so?"

The next thing I know, we're at a table with all of these other people, and
I saw a woman who used to live in my neighborhood. And I said, "Do you
think Hillary Clinton is going to run?" And she gave me a wink.

And now, just today "Hollywood Life" reports that Hillary Clinton has
leased office space in New York City. I guess that's separate from the
Clinton Global Initiative. So now, taking my dream and that clue, we might
be closer to an answer.

BECKEL: Man, you need a psychiatrist if you believe that one.

PERINO: Amber (UNINTELLIGIBLE), who is a producer on "The Five," and we're
having drinks.

GUTFELD: Wow.

BECKEL: Great.

PERINO: All of us. All the Democrats.

GUTFELD: That's exciting.

PERINO: No, not me. I wasn't the Dem.

GUTFELD: All right. Enough. Andrea.

TANTAROS: I had a dream we're all getting on a flight to North Korea once.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

TANTAROS: But we couldn't find you, Bolling.

Anyway it was the president's birthday yesterday. He turned 53, and Jimmy
Kimmel, as always, had some fun with it by sending out his "Live Eyewitness
News" for a little fun on stories surrounding the president's birthday.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What did you think when you saw President Obama give
that famous press conference saying, "It's my birthday and I'll just mess
with Congress if I want to"?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was a little bit shocked. It's a little bit self-
centered.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Where were you when you watched the president
birthday parade?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I was in my hotel room.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Was it finally irresponsible that Congress spent
$500,000 on trick candles?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Even worse, that President Obama called in the
National Guard to extinguish those candles?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Uh, yes. Yes, absolutely.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: Oh, God. I love Kimmel. The whole video is genius. You should
watch it.

GUTFELD: Eric.

BOLLING: OK. So some kids are born to play baseball and you just know it.
You can see it. Some kids are born to be like a doctor or a lawyer. You
just know it. This kid was definitely born to be on TV. Watch.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Apparently, I've never been on live television before.
But apparently, sometimes I don't watch the -- I don't watch the news,
because I'm a kid and, apparently, every time apparently, Grandpa gives me
the remote, I have to watch the Powerball.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: Powerball.

BECKEL: Apparently. Eric, I didn't know they had color TV when you were a
kid.

BOLLING: That was Noah Ritter. Hey, Noah, stay with it. You have a
future.

GUTFELD: He's a little Beckel.

TANTAROS: I was just going to say. It reminds me of Bob when he was
little.

BECKEL: I'm going to change -- I'm going to change my "One More Thing"
because I think in fairness to my former boss, Jimmy Carter, who took a
little bit of a hit here today, I didn't get a chance to say anything about
it.

But I want to remind people that it was Jimmy Carter who went to Camp David
and got Israel to have the only two countries in the region to be their
allies. That was Egypt and Jordan. Well, that which Israel would have
suffered a number of wars since then.

So with all the heat that Carter has taken about what he says about Hamas,
he is the only person, the only president that we've had that's actually
brought Israel peace in their time.

TANTAROS: There's not even enough time to rebut that.

BECKEL: Well, you can go ahead.

TANTAROS: You always do that at the end of the show. So I can't...

BECKEL: Well, I have to do that, because you guys...

TANTAROS: ... debate you.

BECKEL: You're the one -- you're the one who says...

PERINO: He got cut off.

You got cut off.

BECKEL: Yes, I did get cut off.

PERINO: For Shep Smith.

GUTFELD: Yes, all right. Don't forget to set your DVR so you never miss
an episode of "The Five." We're going to be back here tomorrow.

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