Does Bill Clinton's ObamaCare advice help or hurt Obama?

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 12, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Andrea Tantaros, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City -- and this is "The Five."

Well, you know, things must be really grim at the White House when Bill Clinton is criticizing the president's broken promises on ObamaCare.
We'll show that tape in a second.

But, first, this story can be so depressing, that it helps to laugh about it. And for that, we have to thank "South Park." A little a managerial advice from them on the president or for the president on how to deal with people who aren't doing their job.


MR. MACKEY: I hired a new faculty member who whose sole responsibility will be to oversee the Intellilink system and make sure it runs smoothly. I want you all to meet Pat Connors.

PAT CONNORS: Hello, everyone.

MR. MACKEY: Don't hello us, Pat. This system that you are responsible for it now isn't working out. So, what the hell are you going to do about it?

CONNORS: Oh. Well, I'm just sort of getting acclimated to the situation. And --

MR. MACKEY: Getting acclimated? Do you know how much money we waste order this thing? How much you take some damned responsibility? Get the hell out of here, Pat. You're fired! Get out!


TANTAROS: Here is some advice from Bill Clinton.


WILLIAM J. CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENT: So I personally believe that even if it takes changing the law, the president should honor the commitment to the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they've got.


TANTAROS: Thanks, Bubba.

All right. So, Dana, it looks like the president was backed --

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I'm sorry I'm laughing.

TANTAROS: You don't like the music.

PERINO: The music that was playing (ph) underneath, it was like they made it at home on a YouTube --

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: You know that when he speaks. Now, it's required that he has --

PERINO: Music?

GUTFELD: Porn music behind, because he's always working.

TANTAROS: First, let's go "South Park" even though you were laughing more about Clinton than "South Park."


TANTAROS: "South Park" was also very funny, pretty bad when "South Park" is now going after the administration.

PERINO: Yes. And for them, I think, the bigger part is if you look at any comedy show when ObamaCare has been going on for about five months now that the ridicule has set in. Now, it's become accepted that you can make fun of it.

Then, Bill Clinton, you add that today on the substantive point, and all the Democrats that were holding back criticism of the White House because they were trying to be loyal, they're trying to be supportive, now they have entree to take the full step to criticize it themselves. You started seeing that today, not just in the polling, but also in some of comments from lawmakers like Steny Hoyer on the Democrat side, on the House, who said he's not close-minded to the idea of the -- Congressman Upton's bill which would allow people to keep the insurance if they like it.

TANTAROS: Greg, what do you think is worse -- when "South Park"
criticizes the president in an episode like this, so it permeates the culture and maybe people who aren't reading "The Wall Street Journal", or a headline, say, on "The Wall Street Journal"?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I think it is always -- always scary when pop culture finally wakes up and finds out that you suck.

But Bill Clinton accusing Barack Obama of breaking promises is a bit rich, given the fact that he's broken many promises, including his wedding vows. He's broken more promises than Michael Moore has broken deck chairs.

The interesting here is that 50,000 -- this is a weird -- I have a conspiracy. So far, 50,000 people have signed up for ObamaCare. That's the same number of ObamaCare navigators. That's essentially the help desk for ObamaCare.

So, either each navigator signed up one person or they just signed up themselves which is even more hilarious they couldn't find anybody. How do we not know that? It could just be navigators that signed up for ObamaCare.

TANTAROS: Eric, before we get into the numbers of ObamaCare, weigh in a little on Bill Clinton, right? So, the president is in a box. Bill Clinton just made this box even smaller. His comments not designed to help the president.

So, what's behind those? Just helping his wife maybe put some space between herself and Obama?

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes, but this has been going on. Remember -- I remember a press conference in the briefing room. Obama for -- one of them wouldn't leave. I can't remember which one wouldn't leave.

PERINO: Clinton.

BOLLING: Clinton wouldn't leave, right?


PERINO: So, he was holding the stage.

But this has been going on. It is a while -- in D.C. circles, well- known fact that they don't get along. So, a lot of people are speculating why he would do that and if this is really President Obama's play.

No, this didn't help President Obama out at all because he's now has to do something. President Obama has to address the issue. What do you do? Do you continue to have 50,000 or 100,000 enrollees or do you make some changes?

And Jay Carney this afternoon in the briefing room said, well, you know, we understood what Clinton had to say and maybe -- the president is looking at all options.

PERINO: Actually, I think that -- sorry, Bob, I just want to make one last point. I think that -- you can look at it another way. Bill Clinton actually really helped President Obama today, because he gave -- he basically took -- took away the dam and now the water can flow out. So Obama can say, all right, I'm going to have to make changes here. And it stops the guess work out of it. Now that they know they have to do something, maybe there will be -- it could be a forcing action.

TANTAROS: The only workable thing that I see, the only thing -- I thought about this, I've talked to different people, Bob, would be to delay the penalty, because there is a number of bills out there, Mary Landrieu of Louisiana, Democrat, has a bill out there.

Bill Clinton said he should honor his commitment which I think still screws the president because there is no way you can honor -- you can't honor them. These plans are gone, as long as they have these mandates in place. Unless you have a time machine and go back and fix these mandates, there is no way that you can fix this thing.

What do you think they're going to end up doing?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: First of all, it's nice to be back and now, we can bring this level of the show back to its normal excellence.

The -- a couple of things. First of all, about Clinton, there's a lot of mix in here. I mean, part is the animosity thing. I think it is much more to do with Hillary than anything else. I think that she needs that kind of breathing space.

But it also, from Obama's standpoint, it's got to be the most fearful thing, it does open the gates for other Democrats to come out.

And what Clinton is trying to do is protect Democrats in 2014. He -- by -- if you can delay this thing somehow, do something to get out from underneath it, it's the right thing to do from a party standpoint. Clinton has always been there.

Let me say one thing he did say, which is impossible for Obama, which is put a bill on the floor and open this bill up.

Can you imagine what that would look like? Can you imagine the debate over that?

PERINO: It would be great.

BECKEL: Well, I mean, you'd say it's great, I mean, it'd say it would be just outrageously impossible. "South Park," the nice thing about is the people they need in this -- to sign up for this thing are people who are young people. They go and listen the crap like that.

GUTFELD: It's great crap. "South Park" is great.

No, it's true, though. The funny thing is that -- probably the benefit of "South Park" is they are actually talking to the people that are getting screwed, and somebody has to, because there are a lot of young people that are going to figure this out until they end up paying and maybe "South Park" might get to them.

TANTAROS: But I think the problem is the young people aren't going pay. I know a couple of young people that say, I don't care, I'm just going to pay the penalty, what is it, like 95 bucks? I don't really care.

So, Eric, Bob talked about Bill Clinton trying to help out his wife, of course, inoculate her from the bill, even though I think that's probably going to be still tough do. How do other Democrats do it?

They are trying to run from this thing. They try to meet with Obama to ask for a solution. But how do you do it? The bill passes without one Republican vote.

So how? How do they defend the numbers you are about to take?

BOLLING: They don't. There is no defense. I think that's what you see.

You look, you watch Jay Carney's face in the briefing room. You watch Democrats when they're in front of the camera, they are petrified. There is no way out of this.

Right now, they are saying oh, it's the Web site, the Web site. We told you the Web site was going to be a slow rollout. Remember, Massachusetts, it started slow also.

It has nothing do with that. That's just the first glitch. We used the analogy last night, the stripper with the cold sore. But eventually the cold sore goes away. She is still the stripper.

I mean, you're still ending up with ObamaCare and when they get beyond the Web site and realize what ObamaCare really is, and the enrollment numbers aren't going to come anywhere near what they expect it to be or what they want it to be, then they're going to realize that they have nothing to run on.

My suggestion wouldn't be to delay as Republicans. As I'd look, let's get this thing over with.

BECKEL: You know, one thing --

BOLLING: Or fix it.


BECKEL: One thing that's successful so far is the increase in Medicaid in states where the Republicans haven't screwed around with it.
But that's why I'm arguing for single-payer --

BOLLING: How is that successful? All have you done is put more people on the dole and no people enrolling to pay for the people on the dole --

PERINO: And in the sub-par system.

BOLLING: Because if we had a single payer plan, everybody could be covered.

GUTFELD: My solution is stop calling it a single-payer plan. Call it socialism.

Obama needs to pivot, because he loves to pivot. He pivots more than the Bolshoi. He's just start blaming ObamaCare on manmade on global warming, that carbon emissions some how interfered with the Web site launch and they should start thinking about replacing computers with, say, solar- paneled windmills and that will get him into the climate change debate and get him away from ObamaCare.

BECKEL: I'm afraid to get into this thing. But tell the people in the Philippines about climate change.

TANTAROS: Dana, when --

GUTFELD: Please, give me a break, bob. You don't know crap about that. You want to get into that, I'll go head-to-head --

TANTAROS: Not now. Hold it.

Dana, over 3 million people -- 3.2 million have lost their health care. Greg said, what, 50,000 people have enrolled.

How do you message this? I want to play one -- the first clip from Ed Schultz because Democrats are busy now trying to figure out who to blame.
Listen to Ed Schultz. He says that Republicans should be apologizing for this.


ED SCHULTZ, MSNBC: It was reported in the media that the president has apologized to all of those people out there who were losing their insurance. Really? The way I saw the interview is the president was apologizing for the inconvenience that people are having to go through to actually go to a policy where they're going to get real coverage.

The apology should be coming from the conservatives. They should be apologizing to the 50 million Americans who have been without insurance because damn it, they have been sick!


TANTAROS: What do you think about that?

PERINO: I think he -- well, OK. You can tell why their ratings are so bad. I could not watch that except for -- I read that -- I read it this morning and had to watch because I was intrigued by the idea of an apology.
And I actually think it's the reverse.

I think liberals should apologize to conservatives, because we were the ones that were trying to argue on the merits and to say, this is not going to work. There is a better way. There is way we can protect people who are sick but we can do this in the free market. Give us a chance so that the competitive market works.

And instead, we were called by the liberals, conservatives were called everything, from racist to -- well, you name any other words. I actually think the apology should come to us because now they actually think that the conservatives should come and help them fix it. They weren't in charge of anything --

BECKEL: Well, first of all, I have been waiting a long time for an apology, one. Two, because conservatives have done everything they could, put every roadblock in the way to try to get --

GUTFELD: That's because they were right, Bob. They were right.

BECKEL: How do you know they're right? How do you know they are right?

GUTFELD: We're watching it. It is a disaster. Best argument for ObamaCare.


GUTFELD: The best argument against ObamaCare is ObamaCare. We are watching it unfold.

BOLLING: We owe the viewers an apology for putting that buffoon on the air. Really, conservatives should apologize for warning the public, American public, this is coming? No, no. Conservatives don't owe liberals an apology.

GUTFELD: Conservatives -- it is the conservatives' fault.


GUTFELD: Bob, shut up. Shut up. You are wrong.

Is it conservatives' fault that 3 percent of people have enrolled? Is that the conservatives fault? That's like getting your wrong on the SATs.
That's your fault.

TANTAROS: And, Bob, you talk about people --

GUTFELD: And I won't say shut up anymore, but you deserved it.

TANTAROS: How do Democrats defend the fact 3.2 million have lost -- OK, now it's 5. "A.P." has considered (ph) 3.2 million, OK, in the latest numbers. You have all these people enrolling in Medicaid, which is going to cost states a lot of money. There's only 15,000 people -- 50,000 enrolled.

And now, they've changed the formula, right? So, this is a story out today. In order to get those numbers inflated, it's not just people who have purchased plans. It's people who have plans in their shopping carts.


TANTAROS: You know how many shoes I have in different shopping carts on Web sites across America? What if stores tried to say that their total sales at the end of the year were based on products that we all had in our shopping carts? The feds would kick down the door.

PERINO: We have seen this before, when the Obama administration did the stimulus bill, and they said that they were going to -- jobs created and save and jobs saved was totally bogus number. They just fudged with it. Media didn't call them on it now.

I don't think they're going to get away with it now because shopping -
- leaving something in the shopping cart like I did, remember, I went to the container store, I had a panic attack and I left everything in the cart and I felt so guilty. And I still do. That was two years ago, and I apologize for that.

But I couldn't stand in line. I couldn't wait. They didn't count that in sales.

GUTFELD: Why can't we do? They are padding it, right? Why can't we do that with our taxes? Why can't we pad and say we have already paid this amount of taxes even -- if we hadn't, there's no different than their argument about ObamaCare.

BOLLING: Or if you say, I'm going to use this money to pay my taxes.
I haven't done it, yet, I'm going to. I promise I probably will.

The shopping cart analogy, Amazon, eBay, it doesn't work. They don't get to count that in sales. It's like the Wal-Mart checkout counter, until you've actually rung the register, you haven't paid, they can't use those.
The math, enrollees, 50,000 the first month, 5 million. We are going with
5 million. I believe -- I believe it's "The Wall Street Journal" who estimates 5 million people have been thrown off their health insurance so far, Bob.

So, your great ObamaCare rollout, there are now 4,950,000 fewer people with health care insurance, one month into the system or for every one enrollee, 100 people have been thrown off.

BECKEL: This wouldn't happen if we had single-payer.

But leaving that aside, when say let's put it back in the hands of the free market, free market left us with 40 million or 50 million people uninsured.


BOLLING: And now, there's 45 million or 55 million.

BECKEL: Will you guys answer the question? What are you going to do about poor people uninsured?

BOLLING: I have an answer. Number one, remove the mandate portion of this. Remove it.

BECKEL: Forget it.

BOLLING: No, no, no! You want to solve this? Remove the mandate portion. Let insurance companies sell insurance across the state lines.

And very importantly, you want a government option? Knock yourself out. Let the government get involved and undercut the insurance company.
You know what will do? It will drive the prices down. It is the one thing that will work.

BECKEL: I like that.

TANTAROS: We already have Medicaid for people who are poor without insurance.

BECKEL: Not --

TANTAROS: And they are enrolling --

BECKEL: No, who don't make the poverty line. Excuse me. I should have said you can't qualify for Medicaid. What about those people who are caught there who don't have the money to buy outrageous amounts of money --

PERINO: You give them a tax correct.


PERINO: Give them a tax credit.

BECKEL: Give them a tax credit?



TANTAROS: You know what? This was never about getting people covered. It was never about lowering premiums.

BECKEL: Oh, come on.

TANTAROS: It was about getting votes. That's what this thing about.
That's why it doesn't work.

And we didn't have time to play the sound -- but Debbie Wassermann Schultz, she's now saying Democrats should run on this thing. They should use it to their advantage.

I say, bring it on. I hope they do run on it. I don't see how, but I welcome that debate.

Next, liberals in Hollywood love to pop off about how Americans need fewer guns. Why are they silent now about the new report that more guns than ever are being shown on the big screen? More Hollywood hypocrisy, coming right up.


GUTFELD: According to a new study, gun violence in PG-13 movies has tripled over the last 20 years, going from under one gunfight per hour to three per hour. Modern PG films now blast more films than R-rated films from way back then -- which goes to show you how much Hollywood loves their guns. Unless they belong to you and you use them for protection and not pictures. I bet if Matt Damon had to fire a real gun, he'd shoot himself in the butt, where his head currently resides.

Still, gun crime is way down, as movie crime increases. So, I'm not sure you can blame Hollywood for gun violence.

So, how about all violence? To me one fact rears its ghoulish heads in most heinous crimes - resentment, which brews in the world of unrealistic luxury and unquenchable desire for infamy. Violence is now a performance for a worldwide audience, from shooting up a school to firing up on an ice skater, to savagely punching innocent pedestrians, to hacking a harmless family to death. The weapons are all different, but the need is ever present. Look at me. Look at what I have done.

We called the perks insane but it is way worse than that. Beneath it all is pattern of entitled recognition, the desire you must be known forever. Where does that come from?

As families and communities decline, recognition finds another route.
In Hollywood, a place where dreams are rewarded with wealth and sex point threw. If you can't be famous forgiving you can live forever by taking away.

Bob, sorry, I told to you shut up but you ticked me off about climate change.

BECKEL: I knew that.

GUTFELD: You did you that on purpose. I know you did.

BECKEL: I did.

GUTFELD: You hadn't seen me for three days, so you had to come at me.

Now, the movies you watch on your computer they don't have any ratings system.

BECKEL: No, they don't.

But, you know, the thing about this, isn't PG-13, isn't that the 13- year-olds and under watch it? Probably a lot of the effect of this has not been seen. But I do find it a little bit -- for these people to come out and be against guns as I am, but I don't -- put movies together that have guns and shoot people.

I think your point about violence is right. First of all, what's the undercurrent of the entitlement? We all know what it is. It's liberal universities and professions.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

BECKEL: Every one of them. That's the reason we have them.


BECKEL: In fact, if there weren't any liberal college professors there wouldn't be in any violence in America, not one bit!

TANTAROS: Can I make a comment about Bob's movies? They do have guns in them. Just not the ones you can shoot.

BECKEL: Some place you can but --

PERINO: I don't have any idea what she's talking about.

GUTFELD: Dana, you only watch films that have cartoon bunnies in them.

PERINO: The documentary channel doesn't have a lot of guns.

GUTFELD: Yes. What do you think -- is there a link? Is there any link between gun violence and gun -- apparently not.

PERINO: I'm not positive. I do think that the video game industry, which -- it has lot of gun violence as a part of video games. It doesn't actually compute when you look at what you pointed out, which is gun crime is actually down. Is it because of the 24/7 news cycle? We know more about individual crimes or crimes that make the news. So, I really don't know.

GUTFELD: That's a good answer.

Eric, you are a father, or so you claimed. We've never actually seen your soon.

BOLLING: Yes, you have.

GUTFELD: Does it disturb you --

PERINO: I don't think so. No.

BECKEL: Don't blame me. It wasn't me.

BOLLING: You got to ring them in.

GUTFELD: Do you -- does it disturb you these movies have gotten more violent or --

BOLLING: No. No. I don't have a hard time with that. I don't have a hard time with the video games either. I let my son watch them, play them, whatever.

I do have a theory, though, gun violence is going down because of the proliferation of guns. The more guns, the safer the country gets.

GUTFELD: I like that theory.

BOLLING: The statistics will show. There are more Americans with guns, murder rates by gun have been shattered, dropped by 40 percent.
Sometimes even more, depending. In cities, where the gun control laws are the highest, highest crime rate, highest rates of murder by gun.

BECKEL: Do you think it has anything to do with the concentration of people?

BOLLING: No, no, I don't.


BOLLING: If you take New York and then you take Chicago, or you take Philadelphia, and you take Chicago, the one was the higher, more rigorous gun controls have higher murder rates.

BECKEL: Of course, they're going to have higher murder rates.

BOLLING: With guns.

BECKEL: With guns because --

BOLLING: Fewer guns --

BECKEL: You're talking about a concentration of a lot of people and major drug access markets of the world, gangs fight each other all the time to get at --


BOLLING: You are stating fact but you're not making your point.
Higher concentration of people has nothing do with the murder rate by gun.

TANTAROS: So, if you have a house with a gun in it, let me ask you, are you going to be more pt to rob that house or less?

GUTFELD: They've interviewed felons and felons say that hat's the biggest influence when they pick a place, is whether or not it might be armed.

TANTAROS: Precisely. Most people who have guns, it is better to have them and not need them and need them and not have them.


TANTAROS: These Hollywood celebrity, they like guns because guns equal money to them, big money at the box office. That's all they care about. These movies are often sold worldwide, in countries that have gun bans. In Europe, they love their socialism, but they love our explosive movies.

But I will say, New York is one step away from Chicago. We are getting closer and closer and closer, I think, to that city. And it's because of that type of anti-gun, anti-police-type of mentality they have in Chicago. It's going to spread.

GUTFELD: We'll see if de Blasio is willing to risk all these amazing advance that has been -- this murder rate in which is going to a record low in New York, if he's willing to give that up.

PERINO: Maybe they will ban movies.

TANTAROS: I think he will, because he is willing to give up Ray Kelly, which is a stupid thing.

GUTFELD: All right. I think we're done here.

Directly ahead, should an ex-girlfriend get a slice of her ex- boyfriend's Powerball pie? She dated him for a decade before he dumped her. The $338 million breakup battle, next on THE FIVE.


BOLLING: Welcome back, everybody. A couple of interesting money stories in the news today, actually intriguing circumstances begging the question what would you do.

In March, a New Jersey man named Pedro turned over a winning lottery ticket he just won 338 million bucks. Then it got interesting. His girlfriend Inez is now suing him because he won't share the winnings.

There's more -- the girlfriend Inez is also mother Inez to their child. And more -- the couple have lived together for ten years. They have run a convenience store together as well. And just add a final twist.
Also recently moved out of Pedro's place, claiming domestic abuse.

This is a Rubik's cube of legality, morality and karma. But what would you do? Around the horn.

Ands, first, what would you do? Let's take if you're Pedro, first.

TANTAROS: Pedro, OK. It is an ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend. I wouldn't give them a nickel.

Here is where they may have a problem. If this goes to a jury, the fact they have the grocery store, she is arguing that he used the money to buy the ticket, their shared income, from their grocery store. So, maybe she has a bit of a case but I am with Pedro. But I wouldn't give my ex a nick.

BOLLING: Well, now, they bought the ticket together, Robert, when they were still together. They have been together for 10 years and a kid together.

BECKEL: Listen, I don't think there is any question she deserves money out of this thing. I mean, I -- this punk sent $54 million to Dominican Republic. But, first, I don't want to get to the Dominican Republican. But don't ever go there. The -- it is a dump.

GUTFELD: It is beautiful.

BECKEL: It's a dump.

PERINO: They are mean to the Haitians.

GUTFELD: Are they?

BECKEL: They also occupy almost half of northern Manhattan.

But leaving that aside for a second, Eric -- a situation like this, they had shared economic -- she is raising his children. The guy was behind on child support and beat her up. I mean, come on. He ought to be in jail. She ought to get all the money.

BOLLING: OK. What about you, Dana?

PERINO: I completely agree with Bob.

BOLLING: All straight up, up and down.

PERINO: I also -- well, I don't know. Yes, I guess. Yes, sure, half. Maybe more than that. Maybe 60 percent because of the child if she is raising the child.

I also think -- should be a wakeup call and reminder to everybody that there is -- the importance after contract called marriage. And marriage is what can protect you and also help be a fulfilling part of your life. Now, it's all gone to S-H-you know what and no one will come out of this richer.
No one.

BOLLING: Well, Pedro is.

PERINO: No, he's not. He will have a crappy life because he treated her terribly.

TANTAROS: Well, he paid her all the child support to raise the kid and he can give the kid money.

GUTFELD: Here is my problem. Why does he walk around after winning all that with a giant check? Don't you realize you have a target our back?
Somebody sees you with that check.

He is an idiot. She could actually save his life. You look at that time research on people that win these big lotteries, their life gets worse. They spend it all.

He is thinking I'm going get -- I'm going to go get strippers. I'm going to go to Vegas. I'm going to do all this stuff.

He should actually go back and move in with this woman and live with the kid and live a normal life because she is going to keep him from actually destroying himself.


BECKEL: One thing quickly about the Dominican side of this thing. I agree with Dana about how badly treat the Haitians. But also, this guy sent $57 million to the Dominican Republican.

I think -- look, the Dominicans -- I know a lot of Dominicans. Most of them are wonderful people.

A lot of them know me. I'm a wonderful guy.


BECKEL: -- all Dominicans is my point.

TANTAROS: Who cares if he is from the Dominican Republic? He pays taxes to the United States government. Who cares if he sent the money to his family in Sweden? Who cares how he spends his money?

PERINO: Maybe there should be a rule that if you win the lottery, you have to buy -- everything you buy the rest of your life must be made in America and spend --


BOLLING: We saw that moonwalk coming a mile.

All right. How about some shocking -- Rabbi Noah Muroff found 98 grand in a desk he bought on Craigslist. Here's the good rabbi.


RABBI NOAH MUROFF, FOUND & RETURNED $98K IN DESK: Behind it, the drawer, there's this plastic bag, like a shopping bag, I'm talking about.
And -- in that bag I could see through the bag there's -- looks like $100 bill. Open it up and it's full of cash. We count it up and there's
$98,000 cash sitting in the bag.

Right away, my wife and I sort of, you know, looked at each other and said we can't keep this money.


BOLLING: So, the man of the cloth did the right thing. Good Samaritan.

But before you answer, recall the old British proverb which says, "A fool and his money are soon parted." When I say fool, I'm talking about the guy who left 98 grand in the desk.

GUTFELD: Well, you know what? When this happens you never keep the money because you could die. Anybody that has that kind of money around also knows people who can kill you. Return it. Don't return it to the person. You always have to go to the police.

Never meet the person. Never go to the person or meet the person that left that money behind, because he will kill you.

BOLLING: Ninety-eight grand, you give it back?



PERINO: The only money I ever find is in my winter coat pocket, which has been actually lucrative this year. I'm right about $47.02. A lot of dog poop bags and things like that.

BECKEL: Oh, man, give me a break.



BECKEL: OK, thank God.


BOLLING: You carry a bag --

PERINO: Just in case. I'm a responsible citizen.


BECKEL: But -- there are people out there running around picking that stuff up?

GUTFELD: Yes. They have to.

BOLLING: Ninety-eight K (ph), Bob, you find in the desk --

BECKEL: That's why I don't have them.

BOLLING: Buyers keepers, losers weepers, what's your story?

BECKEL: I think this is a wonderful thing he did. It was the right to do. And by the way, it may have been somebody you'd worried about had the money. But from what we read, it is -- a woman and her retirement funds money --

TANTAROS: According to Greg, this little old lady is going to murder this rabbi if she meets him.

GUTFELD: I would.

TANTAROS: I think the congregation is lucky to have this guy as the leader. I think he got to give the money back and it reminds me of a story. I was in the bathroom of a nail salon. A woman left a massive diamond ring. And she had left and -- OK. First tried it on and looked at it in the mirror. Then I immediately returned it because the guilt -- this ring had to be worth hundreds of -- at least $100,000. It was so big.

She came screaming and crying.

PERINO: Maybe you were on candid camera.


GUTFELD: That's what I was thinking. Whenever anybody leaves something, this is a test. Don't take it up.

PERINO: Remember that $20 bill. I walk all the way around and I wasn't sure, should I pick it up? Should I give it to somebody? Should I pick it up?

GUTFELD: It was on a string and I was right over.

BOLLING: Guys, this is all great, but they're goading to go. We've go to go.

All right. Wannabe tough guy Alec Baldwin in court today, started crying like a little baby girl. That story coming your way.

PERINO: The gun chewing stopped.


PERINO: All right. Remember this classic scene from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'd like my money back now.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sorry. It doesn't work that way. You see, I have to fill out a form and -- well, ate most of it already. So --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: See that sign? It says 100 percent guaranteed.
You know what the meaning of guarantee is? Do they teach you that here?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sir, if you just wait a minute.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Put your little hand back in the cash register and give me my $2.75 back, please? Brad?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sir, if you just give me minute I will find the forms. I will take care of everything.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don't have a minute. I am so tired of dealing with incompetence. It says 100 percent guaranteed, you moron!


PERINO: Poor brad. That guy is a jerk. We have all seen that kind of character before. A blogger came up with a list of how to know if you are a thoughtless and inconsiderate jerk of a person so you can go on our Web site, you can take the quiz.

Here are a couple of things that annoy other people. If you -- you should -- you are a jerk if you don't hold the door open for people.
That's one, obviously. If you chew with your mouth open. I hate that.

I was looking through the list of different things. I decided my biggest pet peeve is the loud gum chewing. Saw it today in my exercise class, very annoying.

What about you, Bob?

BECKEL: Believe it or not, except for the dog thing, which I don't -- I don't own one, wouldn't own one, but -- everything else I passed.

PERINO: You are not an inconsiderate jerk.

BECKEL: No, I'm not, 100 percent not.

BOLLING: Political.

BECKEL: Thank you very much.

PERINO: Actually, I think everybody here that I know at FOX is considerate. Except that person that microwaves salmon on the 18th floor, that's annoying.

TANTAROS: That's a jerk.

PERINO: What about you, Andrea? What things bother you the most on this list?

TANTAROS: The thing that bothers me the most is not on the list. It is people who cough or sneeze and don't cover their mouth and just wipe their hand on their shirt. I think those people are jerks because then they get you sick.

You look guilty right now.

BECKEL: It's not on the list.


PERINO: Eric, what do you -- what do you teach your -- on the things in terms of manners and being polite, what are some of the most important things you can teach them?

BOLLING: I like all of these, all of them. Every one of them opinion don't cut in line. Don't blast music. He does blast music. The one, though, the tipping. You know, I think that's really, really important.

PERINO: If you were a bad tipper, then you are a jerk.

BOLLING: Absolutely. I think -- I always go out of my way.

BECKEL: You're like me. You are an overboard big tipper.

BOLLING: Big tipper. I start at 30 and then move up, 30 percent and move up. You just have to. These people are the hardest working people around.

PERINO: I agree.

BOLLING: And reliable.

PERINO: A lot of these have to do with people's phones and phone etiquette, iPhone etiquette, like cell phone etiquette.


PERINO: I mean, you see a lot of that.

GUTFELD: You know what I hate? Started with reality shows where people talk to their phones like this, and go, we have to see Mr. Trump by 10:00. We have to make specialized donuts. They talk like this that drives me mutts.

These are -- I don't think this is the definition of a jerk. I think this is just -- the decline of society. A lot of this stuff doesn't happen in certain generations. It is happening -- who litters? Who litters?

PERINO: I see people spitting their gum out. Like people, if you go right by the subway --

GUTFELD: Who are these people?

PERINO: Young people mostly.

GUTFELD: There you go. That's my point.

PERINO: Kids today.

BOLLING: I made my kids stand up when adults walked into the room.
Everybody thought that was crazy. Make them call them ma'am or sir, you know?

Things like, you know, I think they're important to people. I was told, if I was sitting down when an adult walked into the room and didn't get up, my old man kicked me up. There was no question.

PERINO: When you go to dinner and a lady present, she gets up, do you stand up, too?


PERINO: Oh, wow. I also don't sit down before a lady sits down.

TANTAROS: I don't think you have ever done that, Bob.


TANAROS: I have gotten up many times.

BECKEL: No, no, no. You are talking about when I took you to dinner and paid the bill and you were playing on your texting machine the whole time.

PERINO: That was another one on here.

TANTAROS: You make a jerk actually --


PERINO: If you are taking out your phone in the middle of a conversation and you start texting instead. That drives people crazy.

BOLLING: Anyone who doesn't do that? I'm guilty of that.

TANTAROS: I'm guilty.

PERINO: I guess we are all guilty of that time at some point, but we try.

BECKEL: Not all.

PERINO: Every day.

TANTAROS: We are only human, Dana.

PERINO: All right. Coming up -- could Hillary Clinton get a challenger from her left if she decides to run in 2016? That's what Obama did to her in 2008. There's word that some Democratic leaders may be hoping history repeats itself. Details when THE FIVE returns.


BECKEL: Chris Christie's landslide victory last week reignites speculation about who's running in 2016. On Democratic side, all eyes are on Hillary Clinton. But according to a new report, some liberal leaders are hoping he faces a challenge in the primaries.

Andrea, this is -- they are talking about -- Elizabeth Warren out of Massachusetts is a potential recipient of liberal money to take the challenge. Do you think there's any a chance?

TANTAROS: I think there is a chance Warren will definitely run and I think the left is searching for a candidate. But it's not this liberal leaders that are excited about the prospect of Warren running. It's Republicans that should be excited about it.

I mean, Bob, I think -- the biggest fear on the right is that it is a coronation with Hillary Clinton and just a bunch of white guys on the right that are going to be battling it out like we did last time around and she gets to be anointed, but I think that if she has a primary challenge, it will force Hillary Clinton to run to the left which will be the best thing for the Republican candidate to make her run left first before she runs to the middle.

BECKEL: Well, given the fact the first three states in the Republican nominating process are Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, two of which are very strong in terms of social issues, Iowa and South Carolina, aren't the Republicans going to force whoever -- if Chris Christie runs, isn't he going to be forced to the right?

BOLLING: Yes. I would think he'd start to tack to the right now, but we need to point out that there was a new NBC poll out that had Christie up against Hillary Clinton and Hillary nails him by 10 percent. Just obliterates him.

So I can't imagine Chris Christie will be the ultimate choice here. I can't imagine they run anyone against Hillary Clinton too.

Your read said that liberal leaders think -- why would liberal leaders want to mess with that other than maybe just to say, look, she thought about it and then realized there was no beating Hillary, so it's Hillary.

BECKEL: This is the problem when you use liberal so broad brush like that. There are certain liberals who hate the idea, the biggest issue now is income inequality among the left -- the farther left. And they think Hillary Clinton getting all the money she gets from Wall Street and now getting $400,000 from Goldman Sachs for two speeches is like her husband tied into Wall Street and lost track of the income inequality.

My problem they use the analogy of Barack Obama. He had a war going on then and that was a real driving force when he took on Clinton. She was for it, he was against it. That brought out a lot of support.

Elizabeth Warren does not have that issue.

PERINO: I think it's all an elaborate ruse.



GUTFELD: That was my point.

PERINO: But I'm smarter than you and faster.

GUTFELD: No, you were just before me.

PERINO: That's true, that's true.

I think it's conspiracy. So this is the Clinton people saying liberal leaders, anonymous leaders whispering to some of the reporters from Washington, D.C., that she would -- that Elizabeth Warren might run because they don't want it to look like a coronation so they had to fake it and make it look like Hillary had to work for it when she doesn't.

The people who are concerned about her getting from Wall Street, there's about six of them. They won't matter at all.

TANTAROS: You actually think this is well? As well as Joe Biden wanting to run?

BECKEL: I don't -- that conspiracy theory is interesting, but it's -- there are really people in the Democratic Party on the left who do not want to see Hillary Clinton as the nominee. Now, do they think she can win a general election over any Republican? Absolutely. Would they like to see her get there without having to go through primary? Yes.

PERINO: And then, also, Elizabeth Warren being that person then, it looks like it's not just -- it's not just that Hillary is winning because she's a woman, there's another woman running. It's all baloney.

GUTFELD: OK, Greg, you got your issue stolen from you, but go ahead.

GUTFELD: Three points. It's to portray Hillary as a moderate, which always helps by having somebody to the left of her. Also, it's Native American. You have a Native American running, that's exciting.

And the thing that the Republicans really have to think about is the strategy of being the first person, whether it's the first black president, first woman, so far it's one for one, it works. The Republicans should try to get Condoleezza Rice out of moth balls and get her back in there because she is a strong candidate. She is a black woman. It would be a good choice.

PERINO: Hell of a golfer.

TANTAROS: I think that woman point, Greg, is a really good one because you can start to hear the crescendo already about girl power and female power and propaganda.

And I do think it's going to be very hard. People are going to want to be a part of history and they want to vote for a woman.

BECKEL: OK. That said, "One More Thing" is up next.


TANTAROS: It's now time for "One More Thing." Eric Bolling?

BOLLING: OK. So, we just learned Alec Baldwin was in court. We know Alec Baldwin was in court today, the trial of his stalker, and her name is Miss Sabourin.

But during the trial, Alec took the stand and apparently he started to choke up. He was crying. He was relating a story how he was coming out of his house one day, the stalker approached him and he was so scared for his wife and himself.

Now, this is a guy who beats up photographers. But he was scared of this female stalker and was crying. I hope tomorrow we'll have courtroom sketches. We'll just hoping.

TANTAROS: Good actor, right? Or a big wimp.


BECKEL: U.S. Christian pastor Saeed Abedini is being held in Iran in the n notorious prison where they receive inadequate food, no health care, nothing. So his father tried to get medication he need because he was sick. He started to get better. They denied it. The Iranians did.

Once again, you're picking on our pastors and our religion and you ought to leave him alone and treat him right. You wonder why you're a pariah nation? Because you're a pariah.



PERINO: All right. Switching gears a little bit. Bob, I did this for your benefit because I wanted you -- I know you probably missed seeing and hearing about Jasper, who had the first snow at Central Park today.
Look at that cute little -- he's so cute.

GUTFELD: There's no snow.

PERINO: That's for you, Bob.

GUTFELD: No, Bob is covering his eyes.

PERINO: Oh, come on. That's Jasper.

BOLLING: Good boy.


TANTAROS: All right. Well, ObamaCare is so bad that the company Brosurance has to come up with these types of ads -- check this out -- to try to get women to sign up for ObamaCare. You have a woman on the left and it's called, "Got insurance?" The caption reads let's hope he's as easy as this free birth control.


TANTAROS: What a great message to send to women everywhere. I don't think it's going to work and it's really cheap and tacky.


GUTFELD: I thought it was a joke.

TANTAROS: It's not a joke.

GUTFELD: But apparently it's not.

TANTAROS: Life of Julia.

GUTFELD: Yes, we're covering them in "Red Eye" tonight.

I haven't done a bad phrase in a while.

Today, subpar. The irony here is that this is an administration has called various insurance companies subpar when in fact they are a subpar administration. It is used to denigrate your choice. Who are you to say what is subpar?

BOLLING: And just remember, in golf, subpar is good.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TANTAROS: I just thought of something. If she gets pregnant because she can't get on the Web site, is that Obama's fault?

GUTFELD: It could be. Is there ObamaCare for ObamaCare?

BECKEL: I tell you one thing, being a politician, it would be another Democratic voter.

TANTAROS: I don't know -- see? An evidence.

That's it for us on "The Five." Thanks for watching. We'll see you right back here tomorrow.

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