Updated

This is a rush transcript from "Tucker Carlson Tonight," February 5, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

MARK STEYN, AUTHOR AND COLUMNIST: Good evening, and welcome to TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT. I'm Mark Steyn in for Tucker.

 

What is the United States Congress for? As they tell us incessantly, it is the citadel of democracy, even though it doesn't do any of the things other democracies do. There are no debates, just staffer written speeches in which a man pretends to be addressing a legislature by talking to himself in an empty room like an Eric Swalwell presidential campaign rally.

 

Sometimes they move a staffer adjacent to the great orator to look agog. There is no legislation whatever a 5,593-page COVID relief bill is, it's not a law. None of the so-called legislators of the so-called Legislative Branch write or read their own quote, "legislation."

 

I used to be naive enough to think these perversions of law were at least written by staffers like that nice lady who sits next to Chuck Schumer and does her best to look dazzled by his rhetoric.

 

But my best guess now is that it's a Google algorithm. The lobbyists enter their wish list and then the algorithm turns it all together and you find out you're getting 60 bucks for every month you haven't been allowed to open your gym or hair salon, and some village headman in who-gives-a-stan is getting 30 times that from the State Department to take your child bride to work day promotion.

 

So it's not a parliament. It's not a legislature. It's not a citadel of democracy. It's a perverted bondage dungeon of democracy where you're hanging upside down and there's no safe word.

 

But last night, we finally found out what the citadel of democracy is a citadel of, it's a citadel of psychotherapy. It's a self-help group for people who suddenly know how to help themselves.

 

By direction of Speaker Pelosi, survivors took to the floor of the House to tell their stories of survival.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ (D-NY): Some are already demanding that we move on, or worse, attempting to minimize, discredit or belittle the accounts of survivors.

 

In doing so, they not only further harm those who were there that day, and provide cover for those responsible, but they also send a tremendously damaging message to survivors of trauma all across this country.

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: You might think that what is tremendously damaging to survivors of trauma is for an insulated ruling class protected by its own dedicated police force to start appropriating the language and status of victimhood for themselves, talk about your cultural appropriation.

 

But we don't want to belittle the accounts of survivors as AOC says. AOC survived Ted Cruz trying to murder her. If you're also a survivor of a Ted Cruz murder attempt, they have now got an awareness raising ribbon for that, although Jussie Smollett mistook it for a noose.

 

Some survived January 6th by being in an entirely different building far away from the building anything was happening in. In the same way, some survivors survived Pearl Harbor by living in Idaho for the entirety of 1941.

 

In the 1980s, Robert Sorenson, a Connecticut State Representative, claimed to have been a Vietnam combat veteran. When it turned out he wasn't, Mr. Sorenson was unfazed quote, "For the first time ever, the American public had before them a war in their living rooms." He explained, "Every single person in these United States fought in that war in Vietnam. So in a sense, I was there."

 

So in a sense, even though she was back in her own home, recovering from the COVID vaccine shots he got months before your grandma is ever going to get it, even though she was not corporeally present at the Capitol, Rashida Tlaib was there in spirit.

 

Rashida Tlaib, the woman that screeched to impeach the mother bleeper was sobbing and complaining about the heated rhetoric.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

REP. RASHIDA TLAIB (D-MI): The trauma from just being here existing as a Muslim, it is so hard, but imagine my team, which I love and just adore. They are diverse. I have LGBTQ staff.

 

I have a beautiful Muslim that wears her hijab proudly in the halls. I have black women proud to be here to serve their country and I worry every day for their lives because of this rhetoric.

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: Impressive. That is the ultimate diversity. Diversity of congressional entourage.

 

We asked a member of the Norwegian Parliament whether she had any LGBTQ staffers, any Muslim staffers, and any black female staffers and she told us, I don't have any staffers.

 

But in the American system, a congressional survivor can delegate her survival, like everything else to her staffers. That frees up time for Representative Tlaib to teach her kids four-syllable words.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

TLAIB: When your son looks at you and says, "Mama, look, you won. Bullies don't win." And I said, "Baby, they don't. Because we're going to go in there and we're going to impeach the [bleep]."

 

[CHEERING]

 

STEYN: It's almost like there's some kind of connection between calling the President a mother bleeper and a more general degeneration in respect for politicians, maybe some university could do a survey about that.

 

Survival can exact a terrible price, pity poor Dean Phillips, a middle-aged white bloke representing an overwhelmingly white district in Minnesota. He is sitting there figuring there's no way I can get a piece of this survivor action short of having my transition back dated a month, and then the muse descends.

 

Dean Phillips, it turns out, he's also a survivor. He was so traumatized that he was driven to pass for Republican.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

REP. DEAN PHILLIPS (D-MN): For I felt that the insurrectionists who are trying to break down the doors right here would spare us if they simply mistook us for Republicans.

 

But within moments, I recognized that blending in was not an option available to my colleagues of color. So I'm here tonight to say to my brothers and sisters in Congress, and all around our country, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

 

For I have never understood -- really understood -- what privilege really means.

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: He had never understood what white privilege really means until he holed up in a stationery cupboard with Adam Kinzinger and Mitt Romney for three hours wearing an old security pass for Trent Lott he had found behind the third urinal on the left in the basement men's room.

 

He asked Adam and Mitt if they could teach him to talk plausibly about small government and individual liberty, but Adam and Mitt just laughed in his face.

 

National legislators do come under attack through the years, the House of Commons at Westminster, May 11, 1941, the Mother of Parliament, gone, totaled. Winston Churchill didn't hold a therapy session.

 

The House of Commons in Ottawa, just a couple of years ago, a jihadist comes rampaging down the center block, firing his weapon and the sergeant- at-arms, which is basically a Gilbert and Sullivan ceremonial position, he carries the mace into the chamber each day as the symbol of Royal authority, the sergeant-at-arms had to grab the rusting pistol in his desk drawer and take the guy down.

 

This is not that. Never mind the ones who weren't there. There's no evidence the ones who were ever encountered a single insurrectionist or member of the public.

 

If any of these survivors had broken through the army of staffers and done what boozy old Boris Yeltsin did facing down the coup atop a tank turret in 1991, they would be the runaway favorite for the 2024 nomination.

 

There were victims on January the 6th, the lady shot at close range by Capitol Police, who seems to have been memory holed by the media, seven police officers themselves, but not the political past, we are degenerating into an even more pathetic alternative reality here.

 

For years now, the dominant public discourse has been between the state and approved victim classes, those identity groups recognized and favored by our society. And now in the most audacious move yet, people with entourages, people who can't remember the last time they had to write a personal check, people whose husbands get 2.8 million bucks to consult with someone they wake up with every morning, declaring that a ruling class ever more disconnected from the rhythms of American life is in fact the ultimate victim group in our society.

 

Dana Loesch is a nationally syndicated radio host. It is always great to have her with us. Dana, there are actually victims particularly these last seven or eight months in the United States, but I would not put AOC and Rashida among them.

 

DANA LOESCH, NATIONALLY SYNDICATED RADIO HOST: No, I wouldn't either, Mark and bravo by the way for that most amazing monologue. I've been sitting here giggling while I was listening to you and I have to add before I answer your question, privilege is also being a member of Congress and being able to be protected by 30,000 National Guard members who are armed, and then also requesting crew-manned machine guns, while you have Federal Courthouses on the other side of the country attacked and I.C.E. facilities and the rest of us, they are attempting to disarm.

 

But, Mark, to your point, thank you for having me on this, you're absolutely right. There have been a lot of victims over the past year and actually years before that that I don't believe received an invitation to go and share their lived experience of trauma.

 

I don't think that Horace Anderson, the father whose son was killed by far left activists at CHOP/CHAZ, the place where they tried to guard, but couldn't successfully. I don't think that he got an invitation to go and share his lived experience, or David Dorn's family, one of the officers in my hometown of St. Louis, who was murdered, a retired police captain by Black Lives Matter and Antifa rioters, he wasn't -- their family wasn't given an invitation.

 

Nor Mark, I don't think anybody in Minneapolis, any of those business owners that had their livelihoods burned to the ground, they weren't given invitations. Oh, Mark also, nor were the families and children and staff at the Ronald McDonald Cancer Center in Chicago when violent leftist rioters attacked that facility and they were all terrified inside.

 

Oh, Mark, one more. I don't think also that the family of the children in Virginia -- in Richmond, Virginia, when apparently according to reports, a violent leftist set a building on fire, which was actually their home. And then they tried to block first responders from getting there and rescuing the children inside. To my memory, I don't think any of those victims have been invited to go in and share their lived experience on the floor with the squad.

 

STEYN: No, and thank you for mentioning all those, Dana. They are unknown and unnamed to this appalling, insulated ruling class that now seriously thinks essentially that they are the victims of the masses.

 

Dana, it's always great to see you, and thank you for remembering the many victims in this land from the last, the many true victims in this land from the last seven or eight months.

 

Last night, we told you that Bank of America had scanned through its customers' private financial information following the January 6th Capitol riot. We have an update on our exclusive reporting. That's straight ahead on TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT.

 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

 

STEYN: Last night, we reported exclusively that Bank of America secretly went through its customers' private financial data after the Capitol Hill riot and sent a list of names to the Feds.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

TUCKER CARLSON, FOX NEWS HOST: Bank of America is without the knowledge or the consent of its customers sharing private information with Federal law enforcement agencies. Bank of America effectively is acting as an Intelligence Agency, but they are not telling you about it.

 

In the days after the January 6th riot at the Capitol, Bank of America went through its own customers financial and transaction records, a lot of them. Now these were the private records of Americans who had committed no crime. People who as far as we know, had absolutely nothing to do with what happened at the Capitol on January 6th.

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: We know that Bank of America scanned through its customers financial records specifically, Bank of America squealed to the Feds on customers who met at least the following four criteria: number one, customers confirmed as transacting either through bank account, debit card or credit card purchases in Washington, D.C. between January 5th and January 6th. Number two: customers making purchases for hotels or Airbnb in D.C., Virginia, and Maryland after January 6th.

 

Number three: customers shopping at a weapons-related merchant between January 7th and their upcoming suspected stay in the D.C. area around Inauguration Day. And number four: customers making any airline related purchases from January the 6th.

 

We know that Bank of America use these criteria to identify 211 customers of alleged interest to Federal law enforcement. One of those customers was interviewed by the Feds and cleared of any wrongdoing.

 

Bank of America told us they don't comment on law enforcement inquiries, and insisted they always comply with the law.

 

Francey Hakes is a former prosecutor. We're always glad to see her and she joins us to assess the legality of what Bank of America has been doing to its customers. Francey, what's your take on this

 

FRANCEY HAKES, FORMER FEDERAL PROSECUTOR: Well, you know, Mark, it's really odd and interesting that the statement the bank issued today didn't say anything about search warrants, subpoenas or court orders, which I would expect in the hubbub when this came to light, they would immediately fall back on having been given legal process in order to comply with these requests.

 

The Constitution of this country, the Fourth Amendment does not allow these kinds of searches when it's not particularized. That is a particular term that we use in the law particularized searches, that is a Federal agent has to go to a Federal Judge or appear before the grand jury and get an order or a warrant or a subpoena and hand it to someone like the bank and say, Person A: Francey Hakes is suspected of committing a riot or insurrection or incitement on this day at this time in Washington, D.C. and we expect that the evidence you hold in your bank would show that she was there, which will help us prove that she committed a crime.

 

That is required by the Constitution. It does not look like that was done here at all.

 

The Supreme Court has held many times that Federal agents cannot rummage through data in order to try to find evidence of a crime. Financial information is highly private in this country and is given higher protections.

 

STEYN: Isn't there a slight contradiction there then between your constitutional rights and the post 9/11 security state were for instance, fairly routine transactions, the bank -- for example, it began with the $10,000.00. If you put in a check for 11 and a half thousand, they had to notify the Feds and then people started putting in -- it became a requirement that if they were just below 10,000, that in itself was suspicious.

 

So you had to report $9,750.00 deposits to the -- hasn't banking, as Tucker put it, in effect become nationalized and an arm of the state under the post 9/11 regime?

 

HAKES: Well, Mark only in one way. I mean, those are suspicious activity reports for financial information that suggest you are using the bank in an illegal way; that somehow your transaction itself is illegal. That doesn't -- that isn't used to prove that you were in a particular place committing a completely unrelated crime.

 

I mean, it says if a murder is committed in downtown Atlanta tonight, down the street from where I live, and they suddenly ask all the banks in the area to tell them all the customers who were transacting. That's not the way the Constitution works. That's not the way liberty loving country works.

 

That's not the way Federal law enforcement is allowed to utilize private companies, and I'll be very interested to see what else the bank has to say about whether or not they were given legal process.

 

If anyone is prosecuted using this information, I suspect they will have a very easy time kicking that data out of court for violating the Fourth Amendment.

 

STEYN: Well, let's hope so, Francey, because as you pointed out, these are all actually entirely routine activities using a debit card in the Washington, D.C. area. The idea that that somehow is -- there's enough probable cause on that to list everybody who use the debit card. This is ridiculous stuff.

 

Thank you very much for that, Francey.

 

Undocumented immigrants infected with the coronavirus are now flooding American hotel rooms and the Biden administration is paying for it, which means you're paying for it. That's coming up straight ahead on TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT.

 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

 

STEYN: There are now 3,000 illegal immigrants being caught every single day right now on the southern border. A year ago, that number was much lower, roughly 1,200 aliens were being caught every day last year at this time.

 

We spoke to former Customs and Border Protection Commissioner Mark Morgan, about this surge. He told us quote, "The crisis is already upon us."

 

So what is the Biden administration doing about this crisis? They are encouraging even more illegal immigrants to come here as quickly as possible.

 

First, Joe Biden has signed an Executive Order releasing thousands of illegal aliens all at once. The new administration is reviving what's known as the catch and release policy. The Biden administration has said three factors have led to the decision to release illegals, first an increase of migrant traffic, specifically families from Central America and unaccompanied children.

 

Second Mexico's refusal to accept additional families with children under age 12. And third, the coronavirus, which has greatly reduced Border Patrol detention and transport capacity.

 

Here's how Customs and Border Protection Public Affairs Officer Rod Kise puts it. "C.B.P. has seen a steady increase in border encounters since April 2020, which aggravated by COVID-19 restrictions and social distancing guidelines has caused some facilities to reach maximum safe holding capacity. Per long standing practice, when long term holding solutions aren't possible, some migrants will be processed for removal, provided a notice to appear and released into the U.S. to await a future immigration hearing."

 

In other words, there's so many coronavirus patients that the Biden administration is simply compelled to release them into the country. But don't worry, the White House assures us that this is all very safe to screen all these brand new U.S. residents. The government is now sending 10,000 coronavirus tests to cities in South Texas.

 

Any illegal immigrants who test positive for the coronavirus are being sent to nearby hotels at taxpayer expense. So if you were planning on taking your trip to South Texas, you should know that there's a good chance your hotel is about to be flooded with COVID positive patients.

 

The Biden administration wants you to know that you can check in any time you want, and if you stay long enough in your suite, you might check out permanently.

 

But the good news doesn't stop there, the Biden administration has also said it will add 700 beds for quote "unaccompanied minors" at a newly reopened shelter in Carrizo Springs, Texas along with 500 additional beds at a processing facility in Donna, Texas.

 

The Department of Health and Human Services said those beds would be needed soon, quote, "H.H.S. is mindful of these children's vulnerability, and our priority is the safety and wellbeing of each child in our care. H.H.S. anticipates the need to start placing children at Carrizo Springs in 15 days, or soon after."

 

That sounds rather a lot like kids in cages are making a comeback, but only ridiculous; when the Democratic Party puts kids in cages, it is just a sign of their big heartedness.

 

Lara Logan is an investigative journalist and the host of "Lara Logan has no Agenda" returned to the border on FOX Nation. That alone is worth the cost of your FOX Nation subscription. Lara, what do you make of this?

 

LARA LOGAN, FOX NATION HOST: Well, there's a number of critical things that have been left out of that overview, Mark, and in that statement from Customs and Border Protection, which are namely that this isn't something that the Biden administration has been forced to do.

 

When they announced that they were ending the remain in Mexico program, which compels people who want to claim asylum to wait in Mexico, that was really the signal for many people to come here, because now they know that they will be released.

 

But critically, at the same time, lawsuits brought by people who are pro- immigration and pro-open borders, and a ruling from a judge mean that family groups now are defined as any child 12 years and under, and the definition of a group has been expanded.

 

So it no longer has to be your mother or your father, you know, a close relative like that, it can be a more distant relative. Also, everyone in the family group is now eligible for the same you know, notice to appear and be released.

 

And on top of that, there are so many people now coming that what they're doing is the processing center is full, it can take fewer patients because of COVID, but everyone who comes in that group with a child, adult or not, right, they can now be released into the country, and they are not being taken to McAllen and processed fully.

 

There are no interviews to make sure that it actually is your child. There's no DNA testing. The form that went from this, you know, with all the questions and the information that they would gather has now gone to a quick on your own recognizance release form which is an OR form, where they basically right there and there at the river, they are giving you -- they are doing this one form getting a few basic things from you. They have no idea what is true and what isn't true.

 

Do a criminal background check in the computer system and off you go. That's it right there. And you're supposed to walk into McAllen in RGV, and maybe you show up, maybe you don't.

 

STEYN: But just let me make, I guess, a kind of primitive point here. We live in a locked down world in which international travel for anybody is basically dead now. On the northern border, if a businessman from Buffalo wants to go to a business meeting in Toronto, he has to have a three-day quarantine at a government isolation facility and pay a $2,000.00 fee.

 

Why is the southern border, you know, you've got borders, someone from London can't go to Paris, you've got borders all over Europe. Why is the southern border of the United States -- you can't get into Australia? Why is the southern border of the United States uniquely immune from the pandemic restrictions?

 

LOGAN: Because it's a political hot potato, and the people who are pro-open borders and pro -- a much more expansive immigration program, they see the pandemic, when it comes to the southern border as being an illegitimate reason to return people back to Mexico.

 

So under Title 42, Public Health Restrictions, the Trump administration came up, you know, with this, they return everybody. And now, it is uncertain what's going to happen with that.

 

STEYN: Well, that's amazing, Lara. Thank you for that. And if you haven't yet seen Lara's show on FOX Nation, you really ought to. The home island of Boston, and they took all this information from me and the Department of Homeland Security called me up a couple of days later to check if I was complying with it and I was on the up and up.

 

But apparently on the Rio Grande, none of that matters. Amazing.

 

If you want to own a gun, you might need to undergo a psychological evaluation. We'll tell you why. That's next on TUCKER.

 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

 

STEYN: Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee is now demanding psychological evaluations for every gun owner. Her plan would require interviews with quote, "the spouse of the individual, any former spouse of the individual, and at least two other persons who are a member of the family of or an associate of the individual to further determine the state of the mental, emotional and relational stability of the individual in relation to firearms."

 

And they would of course, be collecting $800.00 processing fee if you want to own a gun. So you'd still have the Second Amendment. There's just like a bit of an entry fee to access your rights under it.

 

According to Sheila Jackson-Lee, this law is needed because of all those AK-47s on the street.

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

REP. SHEILA JACKSON-LEE (D-TX): Simple legislation that could be passed, I think it is crucial in America that we do so, because the violence has many roots, housing, healthcare, poverty, but certainly, it has the tool and that is guns. That is automatic weapons, like AK-47s, and others more sophisticated.

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: The last time I took notice of Sheila Jackson-Lee, she was complaining that hurricanes had too many white names like Hurricane Nigel, and we needed to have more black names for hurricanes like Hurricane Latifa. So maybe actually she is the one who should be undergoing the psychological evaluation.

 

Colion Noir is a gun rights advocate, and he joins us to assess this proposal. What do you make of this, Colion?

 

COLION NOIR, GUN RIGHTS ADVOCATE: Honestly, I think the proposal is disgusting, because what it essentially does is takes a constitutional right and turns it into a privilege. You have to think about it.

 

With all of the requirements that H.R. 127 would require, if I'm of a lower economic status, I'm not going to be able to afford to have the right to defend myself because I'm required to pay $800.00 just to actually exercise my right, not to mention the cost of actually buying the gun and buying the ammunition for the gun, then requiring an insurmountable amount of training in order to just exercise a constitutional right.

 

You've turn it into a privilege, and I think it's disgusting.

 

STEYN: Yes, and this idea that you've got to have four people who have to testify about your mental state. Can you imagine the size of the bureaucracy that would be required to do that? I mean, she thinks she has figured out an end-run around the Second Amendment, though -- around the Second Amendment and she is pretty confident that her party will go along with it.

 

NOIR: Well, to be honest with you, can you blame her? At this point, they control the Senate, they control the House, and they have the Executive with Joe Biden in office.

 

So she is emboldened and most of the other politicians who are anti-gun are also emboldened that's why she is trying to pass this disgusting piece of legislation now and hasn't tried to do it before because in her mind, the way she sees it, we control the U.S. at this point.

 

So if I can put as much of this as I can into this particular bill, I'm more than likely going to be able to get it passed. And if anything, this should tell all the people in this country and demonstrate that this was never about trying to pass commonsense measures. This was always about trying to restrict your right as much as possible because when they do have the power, look at the things that they're trying to pass.

 

Somebody who is doing something good faith doesn't try to pass something like this.

 

STEYN: Right. That's actually a critical point because usually when people start talking about commonsense measures we can all agree on, there is none of that here. She is just saying, we're going to drive a stake through your right to own a firearm. It's over.

 

We're not talking about commonsense measures, we can all agree on slippery slope, any of that, she just wants to kill it stone dead right off.

 

NOIR: And then on top of that, we're going to try to fleece you for as much money as possible by trying to make it as expensive as possible to exercise a constitutional right. Could you imagine them trying to do that with any constitutional right that we have in this country? But for some reason, when it comes to the Second Amendment --

 

STEYN: Oh, yes, I -- no, no, I could imagine that actually. They could well do the same thing with the First Amendment.

 

NOIR: You know, you're right.

 

STEYN: If you want to publish a controversial book, you'll have to pay an $800.00 processing fee, and we will check out whether your ex-wife thinks you're a nut. They could apply that all the way down for every basic liberty here. That's why you should always stop this thing when they come for your first right.

 

Thank you.

 

NOIR: Absolutely.

 

STEYN: Thank you very much, Colion, great to have you with us. Great to see you tonight.

 

The boss of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, he is the richest guy in the world, but that's not enough. So he has concocted a creepy new plan to squeeze every possible bit of life out of his hapless serfs. That's coming up next on TUCKER.

 

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

 

STEYN: Amazon workers at delivery stations are now claiming that Jeff Bezos, the richest guy in the world is forcing them to work megacycle shifts. These megacycle shifts run from 1:00 a.m. to noon, and according to one news report, any worker who doesn't comply is being threatened with termination.

 

The one and only Dr. Siegel is here. He is the author of "COVID: The Politics of Fear and the Power of Science." Dr. Siegel, is working for Jeff Bezos good for your health?

 

DR. MARC SIEGEL, FOX NEWS MEDICAL CONTRIBUTOR: Well, it may not be with this report. I have to tell you, Mark, you may be one of the wittiest men of the 21st Century, but if you go back to the 20th Century, 1936, the funniest man I ever knew put out a movie called "Modern Times," Charlie Chaplin.

 

And in that movie, he pointed out that it wasn't the machinery that was the problem, it was the dehumanization of the individual. You lost your personality.

 

Let's flash forward now 85 years to Chicago. DCH1 Warehouse is closing down. Amazon is saying, hey, we're going to put you together, the last mile delivery of our product to a ten and a half hour shift starting at 1:00 a.m., Mark, 1:00 a.m. and finishing right before noon.

 

And meanwhile, a group called DCH1 Amazonian United is saying, wait a minute, what about the $2.00 per hour pay raise you promised? What about the 20-minute breaks?

 

And I'm saying as a public health person, I'm saying what about the lighting? What about the working conditions? What about the food? What about masks? How close together are these people? Because it may very well be conducive for falling, for depression, for mental health issues, for spread of the virus.

 

And also, Mark, and this is really ironic, what about the children at home who are stuck at home because the schools are closed in Chicago? And these megacycles aren't only in Chicago, they are around the country as well.

 

So I have a prescription tonight. I don't have a business degree, but I have a medical prescription. We need lighting. We need -- we need breaks. We need separation. We need food.

 

And most of all, we need workers who do not feel that they are forced to work here under these conditions, Mark.

 

STEYN: You sound like a Victorian social reformer and with Jeff Bezos as one of those mustache-twirling super villains of the 19th Century. I don't think he thinks of himself like that, but if he didn't also own "The Washington Post" that might be how the press portrayed him.

 

Dr. Siegel, always great to see you. Thank you. Thank you for that.

 

SIEGEL: A shout out to --

 

STEYN: Yes, absolutely -- a shout out to Charlie Chaplin.

 

The C.D.C. -- more -- more health issues -- has issued new guidance ahead of the Super Bowl because that's super dangerous. According to the C.D.C., fans should avoid chanting or cheering. Instead, they should quote "stomp with their feet, clap or bring handheld noisemakers instead.

 

If that sounds ridiculous, Dr. Fauci wants you to know that you're a troglodyte who needs to shut up and stay quiet. Or as he said, this week, quote, "Lay low and cool it." He sounds like a gang leader in "West Side Story."

 

Meanwhile, Los Angeles restaurants aren't even allowed to have TVs on at all, as one Los Angeles bar owner pointed out, "None of this makes any sense."

 

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

 

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What are we going to tell people? You can sit outside on one of America's biggest sports holidays, but you can't watch the game.

 

You should look at the bigger picture. If 500 people are allowed to go into Walmart and shop next to each other, why can't I have 30 people inside watching the Super Bowl?

 

(END VIDEO CLIP)

 

STEYN: Kevin Sorbo is Hercules, oh, and he also runs the best Twitter feed of the alleged Biden era. This is the greatest tweet of the alleged Biden era so far. Kevin, this was your terrific tweet on Jen Psaki, do you like - - could you see it where you are? Do you want to read it for us?

 

KEVIN SORBO, ACTOR: I can't see it, unfortunately.

 

STEYN: Okay, I'll read it. I'll read it for you. Kevin goes, "Here's my Jen Psaki impression. How does the Biden administration plan on saving American lives from COVID-19? Yes, I'll have to circle back on that, but in the meantime, did you know we have a pansexual accountant?"

 

That's the greatest tweet of the alleged Biden era and Kevin Sorbo came up with that.

 

Okay, from the fun stuff to the joyless Super Bowl. What do you make of all these regulations?

 

SORBO: Well, it's all craziness. They've been doing it for a year now.

 

I mean, I remember when Fauci came out a year ago, in March, and he said, you don't have to wear masks, you're fine, and I know behind closed doors, they said, dude, don't tell them that. Tell them they've got to wear a mask.

 

Because, as we know they are using fear as a weapon right now, and it's all about controlling our lives. And look at what it is doing to everybody right now.

 

And I look at these sporting events, because I love sports. I grew up playing sports and I'm watching football and basketball. I'm not watching as much basketball anymore. I miss college basketball. That's about it.

 

And I'm watching golf today, and I'm watching the players walk around, they don't have got masks on. Their caddies don't have masks on and you see just one camera guy about 50 yards away by himself wearing his mask.

 

And you know, we can walk into restaurants wearing a mask, but the minute we sit down, we can take them off because COVID only hangs up a little bit higher than where you are seated.

 

So I don't know, it's just weird. I don't -- I don't dismiss what's going on with this virus. I know it's dangerous. I know it's contagious.

 

But the reality is, there's a 99.7 percent recovery rate if you get it and look what they're doing to businesses and people around the world, let alone America.

 

STEYN: There's something fatally creepy about it. I mean, two-thirds of the people in the stadium are actually going to be cardboard cutouts because apparently, it's only safe to play professional sports in front of cardboard cutouts now.

 

I mean, you're an actor, would you want to be on the winter garden on Broadway playing to 2,000 cardboard cutouts? I mean, this is actually the death of any communal activity, isn't it?

 

SORBO: Yes. And I don't know how -- I don't know how professional team owners no matter what sport it is how they can keep going, how they keep paying these guys salaries? Because you have nobody showing up at these games. It's been all year long. They're doing -- I recently went to the Ohio State Alabama college football game down in Miami, and there was about 14,000 people in there.

 

And it was at least interesting to hear something, some kind of noise because I know it gets the players going. They love it. They get into it.

 

And it's just strange watching sports right now the way we're watching them.

 

STEYN: Hey, it makes a lot of noise, and their argument is there's like COVID globules dancing in the air and descending on people for miles around. We'll see how it -- we will see how it works out with this Super Bowl, Kevin because it's a different way of doing things.

 

Thank you. Thank you for joining us and keep tweeting because that is a fabulous tweet. Thank you.

 

SORBO: There is more to come. Thank you.

 

STEYN: Yes, you got Jen Psaki quicker than anyone. Thank you for that, Kevin.

 

That is about it for us tonight. Tune in next week because I'll be hosting "FOX News Primetime" 7:00 p.m. Eastern time.

 

I'm basically going to be Tucker Carlson's warm up act and that's -- the gigs don't get any better than that, do they?

 

So I'll be Tucker's warm up act and then Tucker will be back here 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time on Monday.

 

In the grand universal scheme of things, of course, we are all mere warm up acts for the one and only Sean Hannity who is standing by with a full 60 minutes of fun and frolics for you.

 

Do have yourself a fabulous weekend. Tucker is back on Monday.

 

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