Despite 'recovery' talk, US economy shrinks in last quarter

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 25, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: "BuzzFeed"? What is "BuzzFeed"?


Hello, everyone. I'm Kimberly Guilfoyle, along with Bob Beckel, Eric Bolling, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City. This is "The Five."


GUILFOYLE: President Obama has tried his hardest to convince you that he has saved our economy and put Americans back to work.


JAY LENO, TV HOST/COMEDIAN: Hey, let's talk about the economy. Things seem to be getting better, seem to be improving.


We made the tough choices required not just to help the economy recover but to rebuild it on a new foundation, for stronger, more durable economic growth.

With the economy picking up speed, companies say they intend to high more people this year.

We are at a moment when our economy is growing. So, in a lot of ways, things are looking up.

Now, we spent the past five and a half years fighting back from the worst economic crisis in our lifetimes. The good news is our economy is growing again.



But new grim numbers out today tell a very different story. America's GDP has just suffered a dramatic drop of nearly 3 percent in the first quarter, the greatest plunge for our economy in five years since the recession ended. I paid extra for that.

So, is all that talk about a recovery from our president just that, talk?

Greg, since you're not paying attention and you're terrorizing me with slow loris.


BECKEL: Show everybody, show everybody that, Greg.

GUTFELD: It's slow loris week. So, I have a slow loris with me.

GUILFOYLE: Slow loris Wednesday.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Slow loris is like the economy.

GUTFELD: Yes, it is. But not as adorable as the slow loris. What was the question?

GUILFOYLE: He's creeping along like the economy, feeling a little sluggish, perhaps needing some vitamins and some fiber in his diet.

GUTFELD: Yes. I didn't derail (ph) this.

GUILFOYLE: What do you make about this, what's going on?

GUTFELD: Well, if America were -- if the American economy were a car, Obama took a Corvette and turned it into a gremlin. But this has always been his plan. A smaller America in his mind does less damage. It was never about a carbon footprint. It was about an American footprint and he's lopping it off toe by toe.

This is not a big deal. To Obama, America is a fat man who needs a lap band and Obama is the lap band. How's that?

GUILFOYLE: Is that a Christie thing? No?

BECKEL: Do you think about those things at all, Greg?

GUTFELD: I actually prepare for the show, Bob.

BECKEL: I don't.

GUTFELD: I know.

GUILFOYLE: Well, let's go to the business expert who knows what GDP stands for -- Bolling.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes, gross domestic product. Here's the --


BOLLING: Two-point-nine percent drop is the worst in five years. And that's far worse than anyone thought it was going to be. So, and then you add things like, you know, 50 percent poverty, the worst in 30 years or 40 years, I think that number is. Forty-six million people on food stamps, worst ever.

So, here's what's going on. So, you wake up and see this number. You expect the stock market to crash, right? Wrong. Stock market went up today, which tells you there's a disconnect.

Everyone continues to look at the stock market and say, hey, things must not be that bad. Problem is they are that bad.

There are three markets in the economy, stock market, yes, but there's a job market and a housing market. Job market sucks. Housing market is OK, not good, not bad, certainly not on fire. And the only thing that's really working is that stock market and they hanging their hats on the stock market.

The problem is, the retail investor, the guy on Main Street is not invested in stock market. There's a bunch of bozos downtown making millions upon -- billions of dollars, but the rest of us aren't. And a lot of people are going to point their finger say, Bolling, you used to work down there. I wasn't really a Wall Street trader. I did oil and gas, I bought and sold oil and gas. There's what my world was.

But there's a disconnect. It's not fair. The American people aren't benefiting from the trillions of dollars that we're throwing into it, throwing at it. The stock market is. And that's really not fair.

GUTFELD: I did gas.

BOLLING: You did?


BOLLING: You have or did?

GUILFOYLE: That was weird.

Bob, did anything, Eric, say at all make you smile?

BECKEL: It always makes me smile. What I really was thinking about was going to get my Prozac prescription refilled.

BOLLING: Why? You're bored?

BECKEL: No, no, because it's so depressing. I mean, it's not hard to find a bunch of clips of Obama saying the economy is growing. What do you want him to do, say it's not or it's terrible? Of course, not. You can do that with any president.

It's been a bad quarter? Yes, it's been a bad quarter. Revised, terrible quarter.

But it had some good quarters. So, I just don't buy the notion -- if you listen that the economy is crashing. It's not crashing.

So, I just -- it doesn't -- it doesn't make me wake up and get scared like Eric.

GUILFOYLE: OK, you're not scared (ph).

BECKEL: I didn't.

GUILFOYLE: But, Dana, Dana, what do you think here? In terms of the communication the president has got a little bit of a problem because he is on a lot of sound saying the economy is getting better. It's incredible, et cetera.

However, it doesn't necessarily bear true with numbers. If you're advising him, how do you tell him to handle this so he still has credibility with the American people and at the same time is able to perhaps pump up, restore some confidence?

PERINO: One of the things they tried to do today was to provide some logic, OK? They will say last year, companies built up their inventories over the winter which was a difficult winter. They're also were drawing down those inventories, therefore, that actually, that message while it might be true, it does not penetrate to people who think that important number, does the president care about the things I care about? Is the president able to lead the country? The majority of all the polls say the answer is no.

The other interesting thing the economy is growing, like limping along. The president said that wasn't good enough, except for his policies, the consequences of them are that this is the result of the economy we have.

In addition -- this is interesting to me -- we are now in the 60th month of an expansion. Since 1980 we have not had an expansion that lasted more than 74 months. The president is in a lame duck presidency. He doesn't have a lot of new ideas on the table.

Today, the president of the United States spent significant amount of his time talking about climate change, significantly one of the most under -- the thing that Americans care the least about. That's what he's spending his time on today.

BECKEL: Can I ask -- this is not an argument. Serious question, why does the stock market continue to go up?

BOLLING: They were throwing $85 billion per month into the stock market. Just throwing at it, printing it, borrowing from the Treasury and saying, here, here's $85 billion. So, a lot of people on Wall Street are making a lot of money.

Here's why Main Street --


GUILFOYLE: He said the money they're dumping in isn't going in the right direction, it's going to people who already have it.

BOLLING: It only went to banks that were allowed to take money from the Fed. It was a huge banking institutions that were making -- they were giving the banking institutions free money. And they said they were doing to it make sure we didn't have another financial meltdown.

Here's why Main Street doesn't feel this -- gasoline prices are up 100 percent under Obama, $1.83 to $3.68, $3.69 right now, 100 percent. At the same time under President Obama, incomes, median household incomes are down. People -- Main Street is being squeezed. Higher price, lower incomes. Everyone at the upper end, everyone is great on Wall Street. That's fantastic. Rich people are getting richer, no doubt. The middle class are getting absolutely squeezed out of the economy.

GUILFOYLE: You know what I'm worried about, Hill and Bill, Bill and Hill, because they seem to still be dead broke, despite all of this money being pumped into the economy. How was this happened?

Take a listen to both of them.


HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE: We came out of the White House not only dead broke but in debt. We had no money when we got there and we struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages for houses, for Chelsea's education. You know, it was not easy.

WILLIAM J. CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENT: It is factually true that we were several million dollars in debt. I think I had the lowest net worth of any American president in twentieth century when I took office.

We've got a good life and I'm grateful for it, but I still -- we go to our local grocery store on the weekend. We talk to people in our town. We know what's going on.


PERINO: Regular folks.

GUILFOYLE: Regular folks like you and me and Bob Beckel, kind of, sort of.

Bob, what's -- you don't like this either. Can you at least come clean on it? Come on, give to it me.

BECKEL: It breaks my heart the situation that they're in. I --


BECKEL: I just don't get why -- honestly, they are too smart politically. I know both of these people, they're smart politically. To say these kinds of things knowing full well that the average American out there is looking at making $250,000 speech and say it -- I don't blame them for making a $250,000 speech. But the idea to make yourself sound like you're going to the local Chinese --

PERINO: Family Dollar store.


BECKEL: No, Family Dollar --


PERINO: Trying to help.

BECKEL: It's a little hard for me to imagine Bill going to a dollar store, I don't know.

GUTFELD: He needs to take the heat off of her by sleeping with a cheerleading squad, so they can stop looking at her because her personality. Personality is like a bad knee. When she's going slow, everything is fine. When she starts kicking up, she collapses. They need a knee replacement.


GUTFELD: The party (ph) does. She gets $250,000 per speech, that's about 10 grand per creepy laugh.

GUILFOYLE: OK, you're a big fan, I can tell.

But this is pretty sad at this point and they are politically savvy. They are people who have done very well in the game. They know how to spin it, especially Bill. Here's the one thing I like, at least he's trying to defend his wife. That as far as I can -- wasn't helpful --

BECKEL: They're living in the 1990s, that's the problem.

BOLLING: So, here's a little advice for someone who may want to run for president in 2016, how about instead of being apologetic and deceptive about your wealth, how about embrace it --


GUILFOYLE: Say you're a winner.

BOLLING: How fantastic is the American free market system that someone like me who can grow up I think in Illinois and meet someone in Arkansas end up in the White House worth $100 million.

GUTFELD: Because that's what -- look what happened to Mitt. The media will eat you alive if you're a Republican, anyway.

BOLLING: Well, can you imagine if she said that, all of a sudden, you get all those -- maybe, you know, people who were on the fence about Hillary Clinton say, you know what? She really does care about business. Maybe that is the person.

But embrace the system that allows you to have $100 million a couple of years out of office.

PERINO: But, you see, that would require sincerity and discipline, which to me is not been -- that's not been the example of the past couple of years.

BECKEL: Let's also be very clear about Mitt Romney, he did not answer his questions well. He did not embrace his wealth.


BECKEL: He kept trying to make, you know, corporations are people, too.

GUILFOYLE: He felt a little uncomfortable about it, but I think Bolling has the right approach. You see like, I'm a winner. I want you to be a winner, too. Let's do this. Put me in the White House and let's figure out ways to make everybody a little bit richer.

BECKEL: Who wants to elect a president that's broke?


BECKEL: Who wants to elect a president's that broke?

GUTFELD: The Dems love that.

GUILFOYLE: We have an economy that's bad, and have somebody who had a bunch of money and lost it? No.

GUTFELD: That's how you destroyed Mitt Romney because he was a rich guy.

GUILFOYLE: But guess what? The media had no problem trying to destroy Mitt Romney, but look at the squirmer, like David Gregory, like eh, everybody is uncomfortable because the Clintons aren't doing what they hoped they would do. Listen to this sound byte.

BECKEL: Mitt Romney was a bad candidate, simple as that.


DAVID GREGORY, NBC NEWS: I think the tension has come from the fact that Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton in many ways see themselves as the couple from Arkansas who came into Washington. In all those intervening years, they have made a lot of money and perhaps just chose her words wrong and not offering the context that the president said should be offered even in the question. So the reality is that people can accept this wealth and not make a judgment about whether she is out of touch.


GUILFOYLE: I mean, it doesn't matter what they say or do because the excuses will help cushion the fall.

Eric, I had to cut you off --

BOLLING: Yes, don't forget, Bob, don't 2012, 2011 -- 2010, 2011, Occupy Wall Street, you know, villainized wealthy people, successful people. So, in 2012, they had to do that. They had to set up their class warfare struggle saying Mitt Romney was one of those evil 1 percenters.

Now, all of a sudden, that's not necessarily the case. Now, you have a $100 million couple right here who may run for president. Guess what? I haven't heard class warfare bubble up in the last year or so.

BECKEL: These -- as I go back and say, these are two very good politicians. Why they are mired in this issue about the money they make is beyond me. I mean, there's a lot of things you can talk about --

GUTFELD: They are phonies.


GUTFELD: They are phonies. They are lying. That's why it's not working. We're tired of it. They are phonies.

BECKEL: Why would they feel it's necessary to lie? That's what I don't get.

GUTFELD: I don't understand why. The Clintons, why would they lie? They are so honest.

PERINO: It's not a lie if you believe it, right?


PERINO: OK, that's their perception of themselves and I think that's what the disconnect is. I think that's what David Gregory was trying to say. If I were the Clintons, I'd say, oh, I should listen to him because he's got better answers than we have on this.

I want to make a point about something also. So, Hillary Clinton opened this can of worms. Now what's going to happen until she decides if she does decide to run every time she gives a big speech there's going to be attention on it. That won't matter so much if it's given to a big bank or Goldman Sachs or whatever. But when it's University of Nevada, Las Vegas --


PERINO: -- and Hillary Clinton has a speech where she's set to be paid $225,000 for one speech.

GUILFOYLE: From a corporate donor.

PERINO: From a corporate donor, right, at a university where the students are having trouble dealing with the tuition hikes and they're all going to leave there with $29,000 in student loan debt. They won't make $225,000 in the first several years when they leave college after having to pay off that debt and trying to deal with, you know, getting started in life. So, I think it becomes increasingly difficult for her to separate herself out from this. Is she a candidate or is she not? I actually think that the clock has sped up to the point that she will have to make a decision earlier than people anticipated.

BECKEL: They're going to go back --


BECKEL: I talked to one of her very close advisers in Texas, been with her from the beginning. I said what's going on here? I mean, you just look at the tape, Roy. I mean, you can't look at this --

GUILFOYLE: Don't say his name.

PERINO: John Doe.


BECKEL: Anyway, I said, everybody is piling on her. I said, wait a minute, she's the one who said they were dead broke. Why would you -- once you got that can out, then put a top on it and said, you know, I said I was dead broke. That was really silly, you know?

PERINO: The media will forgive them if they do that.

GUILFOYLE: All right. We got a lot, we're being chatty here today on slow loris Wednesday.

But next a very disturbing prediction --


GUILFOYLE: -- for America from former Vice President Dick Cheney.

BECKEL: Oh, there you go.

GUILFOYLE: You're going to hear that when "The Five" returns.

Stay with us.


PERINO: Iraq is falling into the hands of terrorists. The Obama administration is considering airstrikes to crush the insurgency. Would military action provoke a retaliatory attack on the U.S.? Online backers of the militant group ISIS are threatening that it will.

There's a dire prediction from our former vice president. Dick Cheney fears another attack on America over the next decade, this time even deadlier than 9/11.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are your indicating, in fact, that we could be on a path or we are on track for something worse than 9/11?

DICK CHENEY, FORMER VICE PRESIDENT: I think that's a possibility. You know, I can't say specifically at this point when something like that might happen. But it would be foolish for us to ignore the extent to which there are people who -- terrorist-sponsoring states who have, in fact, tried to provide nuclear technology. So, it's -- you know, it's spreading. And access to those kinds of capabilities I think is on the increase.


PERINO: Cheney blames the administration for not cracking down enough on terror.


CHENEY: As we see this proliferation of terrorists, we've also at the same time had an administration that didn't want to recognize there was a problem. They'd like to say, well, we got the bin Laden problem solved. Or we decimated al Qaeda. What they decimated is the U.S. Defense Department.


PERINO: OK, Greg, over here to my life, you were nodding and nodding.

GUTFELD: I agree. You have to assume that terror is forever because radical Islam is forever, so you got to treat it like your front lawn. You watch it grow and then away you mow.

The problem with the White House is they care about as much about terror as they do about trees. They have the priorities of an MSNBC intern with the intellect of a Hacky Sack.

And I think that's where he's right. We have to -- we always have to be diligent. We can't say it's on the decline because that's what they love to hear.

They are willing to die. These people are willing to die to destroy our lives. We aren't willing to die. We shouldn't be telling them that.

PERINO: Eric, from a strategy standpoint for the administration, like the military -- the strikes against ISIS perhaps too little too late. Do you think that Dick Cheney is right to be warning people that we do not have a strategy to protect America?

BOLLING: Look, yes. I think he's completely right that the Obama administration is the fumbling the strategy.

First, it was -- you know, if you came out of the box saying Islam is a religion of peace and he gave one sort of signal with let's make sure that there's regime change in Egypt and Libya but then when it comes to Syria and Iraq, we're not sure where we are. It's all over the board.

He's leading from behind. He promised he was going to do that. And he is. He's leading from behind. It's not working. I agree with that part.

I think it's very dangerous, with all due respect to the vice president, I get that, but to say something like there is on the horizon another 9/11-type attack waiting for us, I think that's very dangerous.

PERINO: Maybe that's always true.

BECKEL: It's irresponsible.

BOLLING: It's always true. It's 12 years after and trillions of dollars and countless thousands of lives and injuries and it's no better than it was before, so don't -- it's dangerous to say -- better to start doing something else or we're risking -- we're always risking another 9/11.

PERINO: Just -- I'm not speaking -- I don't speak for him any more or, you know, for the administration. I'm just thinking that maybe one of the things he's saying is that one of the points of the war on terror was to deny terrorists a safe place to plot and plan and ISIS, as they continue to grow and come -- from Syria into Iraq, that that is going to be a place where they're going to be able to do that.

Kimberly --


PERINO: -- do you think that maybe is what he's meant?

GUILFOYLE: I think that is what he meant. And you know what? I applaud again him being vocal. He could be sitting back and enjoying retirement but he's not, because he feels a sense of obligation, a responsibility to this country, I believe, to his dying day. And that is to be admired.

I want to hear from him, because he was in a position of getting all the intelligence reports and still having access and privy to what's going on internationally, real-time reports versus what we're able to get, through the media. And what I'm telling you is I think he's genuinely concerned.

What other motivation could he have? And I think he's right. I think he's accurate.

BOLLING: Put boots on the ground here?

GUILFOYLE: I didn't say that?

BOLLING: Well, that's what he wants to do, Kimberly?

GUILFOYLE: I'm referring specifically --


GUILFOYLE: No, no, I think you have to be very specific in terms of what you do from an intelligence gathering operation by having posts. You have to have intelligence posts to gather information.


GUILFOYLE: Hold on. So we're not caught like we were this time. Whoa, what happened? They gained strength in numbers.

One more point -- the analysis that we have. The estimates of ISIS strikes are 10,000 fighters, 3,000 of which are foreign fighters that come from places like U.S., E.U., and the U.K. So, when you think about that global impact, that's who signing up. It's also people from this country.

BECKEL: They've been signing up like that --

GUILFOYLE: Listen to me, and being trained and going to come back over here.

You know what, Bob?


GUILFOYLE: Equip yourself with the facts and information of the experts that are out there telling you that this is happening.


BECKEL: This show has made -- for some reason, wants to put this guy on the air.

PERINO: Ay ay ay.

BECKEL: This guy is not only bad with intelligence, he lied about intelligence and we're making him into something that he's not. I'd rather listen to --


GUILFOYLE: If you try and put everything on Iraq on Dick Cheney, and you are mistaken.

BECKEL: I think he's American. I don't think he's trying to subvert this country. But he wants to stay on TV. But he wants to dump on Obama because he is one singularly responsible for putting us into a terrible situation --


GUILFOYLE: No, no, no. I think you are wrongly and unfairly disparaged a man who has served his country.


GUILFOYLE: And I think your motives that you attribute to him are way off base. He's not doing this because he wants to be on TV. Come on!

GUTFELD: Well, you know what? You can play this game. You can blame Cheney or you can blame Bush. You can go before Bush to Clinton, you can go before Clinton to older Bush.

Why not to go to JFK? JFK first authorized troops in Vietnam. The reason why we went into Iraq was to erase the stain of Vietnam. I blame JFK.

There you go.

BECKEL: There's a leap.

GUTFELD: Nope, but that's what I'm saying. There's no ending to this blame game.

PERINO: That leap is actually more believable than you saying that Cheney lied.

GUTFELD: Remember how the media -- the media called Vietnam a stigma. I remember the first invasion of Iraq. That's what it was about. It was about trying to erase the stigma of Vietnam.


BECKEL: You don't believe that. I believe them?

BOLLING: Can we do this? Hold on. That was then. And blame game is stupid and ridiculous and it's just, you know, fodder --

GUILFOYLE: How about do something now?

BOLLING: Do something now, but what? Iran -- does anyone at this table --

GUILFOYLE: Well, I do think we should have get their supply routes - -


BOLLING: Just forget that! Put more Americans --

GUILFOYLE: You asked me for specifics, with all due respect, sir.

BOLLING: Here's what I'm asking you one question.

GUILFOYLE: I gave you specifics. You cut me off.

BOLLING: Would you put more American lives on the ground in Iraq, yes or no? Around the table.

GUILFOYLE: I would put a certain number of very specific --

BOLLING: So that would be yes.

GUILFOYLE: -- trained intelligence experts to be able to get information back.


PERINO: You know what? I'm not on trial. And so I'm not --


PERINO: I also think it's interesting we're sitting around this table with no -- only information we have is what the administration has given us. Hopefully, they are having rigorous debates in the Situation Room and actually figuring out something to do to push them back since they missed it on the invasion on Iraq from ISIS.

BECKEL: Excuse me, she's saying we have to go. So, you want to give Cheney some more time? Why don't you do that?

PERINO: Well, I'm actually going to tease, Bob, so we can go on the next thing.

OK. Ahead on "The Five", what are the odds that seven employees under investigation at IRS would all have computer problems that would wipe out evidence that Congress wants to look at. Greg has those numbers, next.


GUTFELD: It's all a coincidence. Seven IRS staffers all under investigation have computer crashes, and there's no way to get the missing data back. A coincidence. Right.

According to Rhonda Knehans Drake, assistant professor at New York University, the odds of these seven drives crashing would be 1 in 3.1 million. Add to that the probability of not being able to retrieve the data from each one, and the odds approach that of you alone being hit by a meteor.

A coincidence, Mr. Obama? Don't paint a turd orange and tell me it's sherbet. Coincidences are nothing more than order masked as chaos. Truly, this administration is a mess, but it's a mess choreographed like a Broadway musical. They knew what they were doing, and they knew the media wouldn't mind. Calling it random is a slap in the face to the American public.

Add that smirky commissioner, and you've got a gateway to war. Because once you've lowered the bar this far for corruption, you invite blowback that will be far worse.

Imagine, dear liberals in the media, if the next president is the kind you hate. Imagine him coupling with coercion. Movements begin not from anger but from desperation when a cover-up is so blatant and the press shelves their spines in service to their King. You make the unlikely likely, the average citizen doing your job in the street.

So the first step: admit it's a cover-up, one that makes a burka look like a bikini. And do it soon, or else the next response will make the Tea Party look like a tea party.

All right, Dana, latest news. We find out that Senator -- Senator Grassley sends an e-mail, and then what happens to him?

PERINO: Senator Grassley is a Republican from Iowa. He sent a note to Lois Lerner. And in response, she referred him for an audit.


PERINO: And I'm sure there's absolutely nothing untoward about Lois Lerner. She seems like a really perfectly upstanding citizen.

GUTFELD: I know.

PERINO: Why are we bothering her?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

So Kimberly, this commissioner never has given to a Republican any money. He's given 85 grand to Democrat candidates, and his agency targets Republicans. That's another coincidence.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, smelly as a used diaper. Let me tell you. And American people don't even need any more proof of it. It's so obvious they have this thing called common sense. Seventy-six percent of them saying, "Oh, please." Yes, right. They know they're guilty. They know they're lying; they know they're corrupt. I think this is one that definitely sticks. Really bad. It's about as bad as it can get. Her name sounds fake, too.



GUTFELD: OK. So you got the Republicans, the House slashing the IRS budget back to 2008 levels. Is that going to be it?

BOLLING: You know what's even more wacky? First of all, you're right, Greg. The probability is so astronomical. But the probability that the lapdog, meaning, "Oh, that's probably true. You did probably lose it," was 100 percent exactly perfect.

But this is the group that's going to administer Obamacare?


BOLLING: These are the people that are going to make the decisions on what paperwork gets in where, which doctors gets what.

PERINO: Who gets a subsidy?

BOLLING: Who gets a subsidy. And not only who gets a subsidy but who gets paid or for what.


BOLLING: I mean, if they can't even get an e-mail trail figured out, how are they going to, you know, figure out what someone's cancer medication needs to be in.

GUTFELD: That's scary.

Bob, aren't the people who see this as a coincidence just a bunch of flat-earthers?

BECKEL: I love that. Here's the thing that -- I like that flat earth comment.

GUTFELD: I just heaped it on you.

BECKEL: Here's the thing that I think is a leap here that's a problem. Do I believe that somebody covered this up? Yes. Do I believe it was Lois Lerner and her people? Probably. But to make the leap that this went into the White House is a very serious allegation of which there is zero evidence.

GUTFELD: But they're not doing anything about it.

BECKEL: That -- we don't know that. But all I'm saying is before we jump to conclusions that some -- look, when Republicans were in office, I was audited every year. When the Democrats were in office, I wasn't audited.

PERINO: That was on the merits.

GUILFOYLE: Where there's smoke there's fire.

BOLLING: So there's no chance -- there's zero percent chance that any of these emails were connected. Anyone at the White House and/or more importantly the campaign...

BECKEL: I don't know the answer to that. There's no evidence of that now. There is plenty of evidence that somebody...

BOLLING: There's a small possibility that that could have happened. Right? So...

BECKEL: But...

BOLLING: Why can't we eliminate that?

BECKEL: Why do we all of a sudden assume, because you hate Obama, that this is something -- you don't assume?

GUTFELD: My problem is that if we used any of these excuses, the IRS would put us in jail. So they should go to jail. That's the way I see it.

PERINO: And also I think you cannot forget, people in the media refer to this as the IRS. Right? Always the IRS. Believe me, if it was the Bush administration, it would be Bush administration officials.


PERINO: Lois Lerner was a political appointee, put into that position by the White House. So I think there is a connection to her. And I think that -- that the president, if given a chance to amend his remarks that he made to Bill O'Reilly about there not being a smidgen of corruption, should take a look at the poll where 76 percent of Americans who don't agree on anything...


PERINO: ... can all agree that they think that the administration is lying about this.

GUTFELD: There you go.

BECKEL: What they don't agree is that Obama is lying about it. That was the...

GUTFELD: I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: Come on. The connection is there.

BOLLING: Why would Lois Lerner arbitrarily...

BECKEL: Because she has probably broken the law. That's why.

BOLLING: Because she loves Democrats so much.


BECKEL: I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: He's part of it.

GUTFELD: All right. The camera is on me. Next scary stuff ahead. Somebody let Russell Brand out of his cage. I hope he bathed. Plus, a vampire is on the loose at the World Cup. And Congressional leaders may be possessed.


BOLLING: Well, welcome back all of you all. "The Fastest Seven" rides again. A good one today. Three arresting stories, only five accelerated minutes. One lascivious (ph) host.

First up, actor, musician and political provocateur Russell Brand has issues with FOX News and our own Judge Jeanine Pirro. Brand goes bananas in a ten-minute rambling and at times incoherent rant, comparing FOX News to the radical terror group ISIS.


JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: ISIS is a fanatical religious terrorist organization.

RUSSELL BRAND, COMEDIAN: So is FOX News. It's a fanatical terrorist propagandist organization. It isn't reasonable, is it? Like she's talking: "Bomb them. Bomb them." Like, she's worse. Like you've seen in videos of someone with their finger on a rifle and "Hey there, Obama (EXPLETIVE DELETED)." She's doing it. She's just in front of a silly backdrop. She's the savage. She's expounding savage hate.


BOLLING: Guess he had his 15 minutes.

GUILFOYLE: I don't know. I think somebody's got a crush on Judge Pirro or something. He seems to be obsessing a little bit too much.

And by the way, good job, Russell. Look who you're defending. ISIS. She said ISIS, not IKEA. OK? He's not up in arms over IKEA. It makes no sense, but it's kind of entertaining.

BOLLING: Ten minutes he was rambling on it.

GUTFELD: We have to remember one thing. This guy was fired from MTV for dressing up as Usama bin Laden the day after 9/11.

PERINO: There you go.

GUTFELD: So that's how seriously -- yes. That's how seriously he takes terror. If he feels that ISIS is harmless, he should go out there and hang out with them. They would behead him faster than you could say, "Arthur."

BOLLING: Very good idea.

GUTFELD: His worst movie.

BOLLING: I vote for that too.

Next up, here's another reason why the World Cup is just plain weird. Check out Luis Suarez, a south forward who plays for Uruguay, who was caught on camera biting Giorgio Chiellini during the match against Team Italy yesterday. And get this: Suarez is nicknamed The Cannibal, has done it before twice. FIFA opened up an investigation this morning. They'll make a decision before Uruguay's big match Saturday against Colombia.

Mr. Beckel, your thoughts on the biter?

BECKEL: I think this guy -- I mean, when you have a history of doing this. It's like Mike Tyson, when he bit off Holyfield's ear. Remember that? He spit it out on the mat.

This guy, what is he thinking? They've got more cameras in this thing than any other sport event I've ever seen. He thinks he's going to get away with being a biter? I think the guy is a legitimate vampire. I think he ought to be banned from soccer forever.

GUILFOYLE: What are you talking about?

BECKEL: He should be banned forever. He should.

GUILFOYLE: Vampires don't bite you in the shoulder. And by the way, you had a...

BECKEL: How do you know that?

GUILFOYLE: ... you had a bite in the fame pie (ph).

GUTFELD: Can I just disagree with Bob, real quick? They -- this should be encouraged. Combine soccer with cannibalism; makes it interesting. Instead of penalty kicks, you have penalty licks. Can't use your hands, but you can eat them.

BOLLING: Dana, you want to follow that one?

PERINO: What's to decide? They have to have a meeting to decide? I think the answer is obvious.

BOLLING: Yes, but how long?

PERINO: Out of the World Cup.

BOLLING: Actually pull him from, like, future...

PERINO: From the future of the game?


PERINO: Sounds like a good idea.

BOLLING: Good idea. This one, "The Fastest Seven" goes from weird to weirder. Let's call this one good intentions, bizarre outcome.

Members of Congress gathered yesterday to posthumously award the Congressional Gold Medal to Martin Luther King, Jr., marking the 50th anniversary of the passing of the Civil Rights Act. Good intentions. Now...


UNIDENTIFIED MALE (singing): We shall overcome. We shall live in peace. We shall live in peace someday.


BOLLING: Bizarre. K.G., maybe after that A-block, maybe we should all be doing that.

GUILFOYLE: It's going to take you, like, Godiva chocolates.

BOLLING: Let's go. So what do you think?

GUILFOYLE: This made me very uncomfortable. I'm just happy we're not doing a dramatic reenactment with Bob.

BECKEL: By the way, Kimberly did not say...


BECKEL: Oh, shut up. I'm just making a joke.

Listen. This is a very serious act. Fifty years ago, it should be -- you shouldn't have a bunch of idiots up there, trying to pretend that they're Martin Luther King. I mean, the only person who belongs up there is John Lewis, who actually went through all this stuff. I think it is so horrible to do this. It just...

GUILFOYLE: You should say that you got to use the restroom and miss this whole thing.

PERINO: I don't think it's horrible. I think it was well- intentioned. And I think that the staging of it was a little awkward. It was like when your mom and dad -- you got in a fight with your sister, and your mom and dad said you've got to kiss and make up.

GUILFOYLE: I love Boehner.

PERINO: But I think that, you know, they meant well. It doesn't really, you know, say to the terrorists, "We're going to kick your butts." You know?

BECKEL: It also doesn't say importantly...

BOLLING: Who is most uncomfortable?

GUTFELD: I've seen happier faces on Death Row. It looked like a wax museum melting.

If -- if Martin Luther King was watching, he might regret the whole civil rights movement.

Let me tell you this. This is what happens when you have forced activity. This is why I never do -- yes, this is why when we do those pre- tapings, we all hate them.

BOLLING: I love that.

GUTFELD: It's why I can't do breakfast television. Any time you've got to do something you don't want to do.

GUILFOYLE: You get very uncomfortable.

BOLLING: Look at them. I mean, it's unbelievable.

Carl Levin or Boehner...

GUTFELD: Yes, Carl Levin looks...

BOLLING: Got to go.

The best video you're going to see all day features a young baseball fan hamming it up for the cameras, but is it real?


BECKEL: It's nice to have music.

Two stories today about the so-called religion of peace. First a man in Afghanistan converts to Christianity. Now he's on the run, and his family is targeted for death. They want to kill him for converting.

Second, Meriam Ibrahim, who was being held in a Sudanese jail for her conversion to Christianity, was re-arrested just one day after her release at the airport. There's a statement by CAIR, who's -- and I have gotten not very good relations -- but they did come out and say that there was, that they believe you should not make -- the religion would not advocate being in the religion.

You have anything, Dana, on this? You like...

PERINO: Well, here's a solution to some of these things that I like, is to allow these people to come here. So if there's a religious -- religious liberty asylum and if we feel strongly we should at least, important enough for us to do a segment on it, maybe we should figure out a way to allow them to come here, as we did some of the translators and things like that, that helped us in the wars.

BECKEL: I think that makes a lot of scene. I mean, the only thing that worries about me about all this is that Christians are being persecuted so badly in all these Muslim countries that you can't let them all leave. I mean, some of these Christian religions were there before...

PERINO: Are you going protect them?

GUTFELD: Yes, that's...

BECKEL: The answer to that is, I just don't know. I wish we could. How do you do it?

GUTFELD: That's the thing. We do segments renouncing these radical Islamic attacks on schools, on Nigerian kids but don't want to go over there and make any commitments. So let's not do these segments any more.

GUILFOYLE: Right, and then that's what they think.

GUTFELD: Wait until they come here.

GUILFOYLE: ... don't do anything about it. So there you go. A bunch of cry-babies.

GUTFELD: Yes. They don't care about "The Five."

BOLLING: That's for sure.

GUILFOYLE: But I do think there should be consistent pressure. They should make an example and do whatever they can to help this woman, her family, her children come over here. Grant them political asylum.

The State Department says they are doing something about it and negotiating the proper papers. That's what they said the hold-up was.

And about the rest of those -- the girls that were just kidnapped by Boco Haram.

BOLLING: Maybe we should learn from these Sudanese people. And you may have said it a long time ago. Once we released the Taliban Five, we'll just catch them again and bring them back.

BECKEL: We're going to have to get out of here. I'll tell you, the - - if there ever was a time -- I say it again, why any of these Muslim countries, or any imam or cleric speak out against this. If this is what your religion is about, please do it. Or you're just a bunch of chickens.

"One More Thing" is up next. .


GUILFOYLE: Time now for "One More Thing" and a little more slow loris in your life. Pretty cute. I'm taking him home.

All right. So we've got a little romance in store for you, because it is the tenth year anniversary of "The Notebook." I was going to say, some people like it. Some people don't. Some people think it actually perhaps ruined romance and the idea of it in all of America.

BECKEL: What's "The Notebook"?


JENNIFER GARNER, CNN ACTRESS: I waited for you for seven years, and now it's too late.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I wrote 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year.

GARNER: You wrote me?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. It wasn't over. Still isn't over.


GUILFOYLE: Don't you love dramatic rain?

GUTFELD: They're brother and sister, right?

GUILFOYLE: No! That's a different movie. It's Noah and Ally. It's the anniversary. What are you -- it's not incest. Never mind, never mind.

Bolling, you're up next.

BOLLING: All right.

GUILFOYLE: He destroyed my "One More Thing."

BOLLING: So I like to bring you great, great drama series. Talked about "Homeland." I happen to like "Walking Dead" and a lot of people don't.

PERINO: "Delta Five."

BOLLING: "House of Cards." "Justified," Dana loves.

There's one that premiered last night that was absolutely fantastic. It's called "Tyrant." It's about a Middle Eastern dictator who has two sons, one good, one bad. One comes to America. They both end up in the Middle East. Here's a little piece of it.




BOLLING: Absolutely worth a look. "Tyrant," check it out on FX on Tuesday nights.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Greg.

GUTFELD: Right now we're into the third hour of Troop-a-Thon 7. I participated in Troop-a-thon before. The goal is to raise as much money as possible to send care packages to our soldiers overseas.

Rush Limbaugh is participating, along with Gary Sinise. The live stream can be viewed at, and you can get involved and you can send care packages to troops at

PERINO: Are you sending the slow loris?

GUILFOYLE: No, it's mine. It's Ronan's.

GUTFELD: No. It's just Kimberly's child.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. OK. Isn't that sweet?

PERINO: Are you the one who left a unicorn on my desk?

GUILFOYLE: This is back-to-back gifts in this week from the people who don't like the children at the end of the table.

OK, Bobby.

BECKEL: You've got to look at this kid. He's a marlins fan, baseball fan. There's some controversy about the fact he was actually doing this. Look at this kid's dancing.

BOLLING: What do you mean?

GUILFOYLE: What do you mean?

BECKEL: That's what I kept telling Sean. He kept saying, "It's a new controversy." So I said it.

GUILFOYLE: But you're not backing it up.

BECKEL: I'm backing it up. I said I think this kid was there at the Marlins game, and I think Sean is being overly dramatic about it.

GUILFOYLE: OK. That's how we do it on "The Five."

GUTFELD: I think I've seen enough.

PERINO: I have a real controversy, and I know what it's about.

GUILFOYLE: Go ahead.

PERINO: World Cup, you love it or you hate it.

GUILFOYLE: I love it.

PERINO: Some people hate it because of the fake injuries. You know the fouls. You know that the country that has the highest number of fake injuries at the World Cup? Brazil. Seventeen so far. Well, they're counted up and they are printed in And then you find it online and then you make it a "One More Thing."

BOLLING: Here's how you know. They flop. They lay down. They roll around.

BECKEL: I get the point.

GUILFOYLE: Bob, that was in your soccer package. Remember when you talked about it.

All right. It's been fun. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Don't forget to set your DVR so you never mess an episode of "The Five." We're going to be back here tomorrow.

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