This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 31, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone and happy Halloween. I'm Eric Bolling along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City and this is "The Five."
President Obama says his policies are not on the ballot next week. That maybe true, but his party has sure made sure race certainly is. Thanks to Democrats in despair. Which has four days to go until the election of Republican lead is growing. So, how are the Democrats responding? With desperate attempts to race bait their base into the voting booth, to Louisiana, where the Democrat Senator Mary Landrieu who is down by four and a half points. Senator Landrieu somehow plays the race card and throws in a war on women, well, indicting all the south, the whole the south and in one sound bite, and by the way, Bob, no, we didn't edit this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARY LANDRIEU, UNITED STATES SENATOR: Being very, very honest with you in the south is not always been the friendliest place for African-Americans, it's been a difficult time for the president to present himself in a very positive light as a leader. It's not always been a good place for women to be able to present ourselves, it's more of the conservative place. So we have to work a little bit harder on that.
(END VIDEO CLIP) BOLLING: All right Bob, let's start with you this one. There she is, Mary Landrieu down by four and a half and she throws race and war on women into one sound bite with Chuck Todd.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Why not.
BECKEL: Why? Because it helps turn out the base. I'm not sure will, but it helps turn out the base. I mean, are you kidding? What do you think to (inaudible) last night? What you think the Republicans are saying to anybody running against the Democrats, if you to their base. That if you do that, you're not gonna be able to build a pipeline. You do that, you gonna be tax for. You do that -- it's all the same.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: No, no, wait those are issues. Those are issues.
BOLLING: Right, right.
BECKEL: You don't think race is an issue? You don't think race is an issue?
GUTFELD: No, race is fear mongering. This is fear mongering.
BECKEL: Race is sure about fear mongering and energy independence.
GUTFELD: No, tell me, tell me, how is this -- how is this an issue? It's true, there was racism in the past, but she linked to it the present. She said that the President Obama is having a hard time now, because of race. That is not an issue. That is actually linkage, in which she is trying to say -- (inaudible).
BECKEL: Let me just try to explain to you.
GUTFELD: Please do.
BECKEL: I think racism is an issue and it's alive and well in America today.
GUTFELD: And you know what? Before you said that, you said, why not if it helps win elections. That's what you said. So you're willing to race bait if it increases risk of violence in places like Ferguson.
BECKEL: I'm in willing to do anything possible to turn out the race, both the black vote, in that.
BECKEL: Wait, wait a second, can I finish?
BOLLING: Well, I will should.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: You've been talking the whole time.
GUTFELD: That's what why I could yell at him.
BOLLING: Go, go, go. No, all right. Kimberly, is this smart to Mary Landrieu didn't indict the whole south saying, women of African-Americans in the south have had a hard time, women haven't had a fair shake in the south.
GUILFOYLE: I know, I think it sounds like a crybaby and plausible deniability for when she loses, OK? And look at the history in that particular state. An Indian-American, a governor and former governor, a woman, so she's put out the gender card, the race card, it's just reeks of desperation. Maybe it will motivate and scare her base, but I think it should matter, I think honesty and integrity should matter, and you should win at all costs, you should be a person of principle, you should say what you mean, you should follow up on it, and guess what? If the tied moves at and it's time for you to go, then accept your defeat gracefully.
BOLING: And Dana, seems like with only four days left. Wow, Hail Mary pass.
DAN PERINO, CO-HOST: Well, the thing is, she has won re- election twice, and she runs statewide.
PERINO: It's been, a lot of people do like her in north -- New Orleans, or I should say all of Louisiana. And that's why the race has been so close. The thing the fact that she won re-election twice, actually shows that what she said last night about race and gender, doesn't make as much sense. I mean there are consequences for not being able to deliver, and there are consequences for voting with Obama, 99 percent of the time.
BOLLING: Today, yeah. She is actually right, that in the past, that there was racism in the south, they were called Democrats. But she made it a present day issue, she said that Obama has a tough time here. So what she did? What she did something that was mischievously unfair. She took a past problem and made it a present one, perhaps it's an involuntary spasm, that -- you just like when I buy -- when I'm nervous I bite my nails, you just call somebody a bigot. But it's become something more than name calling, it's an intimidation tactic, because when you are called racist, then you have to spend all your time defending that accusation rather than saying what you believe it.
GUTFELD: And that's what Republicans have been doing, for forever, whatever somebody calls you a racist, you have to defend yourself, rather than extol what you believe.
BOLLING: Hold that thought because watch this one. Democrats in despair, playing the race card, part two. Senator Harry Reid Super PAC release this race fueled ad attacking Republican Thom Tillis running for Senate in North Carolina. In it, Reid's PAC blames Tillis, for the death of Trayvon Martin.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Tillis won't fight for us. Instead, he made it harder for communities of color to vote, by restricting early voting and voter registration. Tillis even led the effort to pass the type of stand your ground laws that caused the shooting death of Trayvon Martin.
(END VIDEO CLIP) BOLLING: All right Bob, we gonna go back to you again man.
BECKEL: I pass, I pass.
BOLLING: You can't pass.
BECKEL: I pass, I pass.
GUTFELD: Isn't a password.
BECKEL: Is not the password?
BECKEL: I agree with it.
BOLLING: Do you agree with that?
BECKEL: Absolutely, at anything. Its racism, we're in it and where you guys are pure and don't ever get yourselves any trouble in to it.
BOLLING: All right, let's bring it around the table. Dana? --
PERINO: Well, I think this morning the New York Times had an article saying that actually early voting is going well for Democrats, actually even better than they expected. That's what the New York Times said, Bob, I'm quoting the New York Times.
BECKEL: I think.
PERINO: Also, just recently, in the last hour, a new poll in North Carolina shows that Thom Tillis is up with independents double digits. That race is extremely close, I think it's too close to call, but, if you're trying to win over independence, I think Thom Tillis approach is doing than a lot better than this, which is what Bob is saying that basically, anything you can do to try to turn out the vote. I don't know if it's gonna work for them in North Carolina.
GUTFELD: The question is, for the sake of politics, are you willing to risk a race war? Are you willing to -- create unrest, just so you can win an election, which is disgusting. Alice Wagner on MSNBC, which is the high school newspaper of cable, said that she -- you shouldn't make racial unrest a reason to vote, but then she said, if it works, so much stronger the party is for it. So even -- as bob is doing, you admit that it's wrong, it's OK, if you win. Meanwhile, you don't know what the consequences are, that you've it -- you've got something going on in Ferguson that isn't gonna go away, it's not gonna away.
GULFOYLE: Yeah, but don't you have any.
BOLLING: We're going to go to Ferguson in a second. But go ahead.
GUILFOYLE: Why don't you have any kind of accountability? I mean, is it OK to profit tear off the deaths of human beings, to stand over their graves and say, whatever it takes to win. Like the Trayvon Martin case, that's race-baiting, and also to those people, so those people ultimately be responsible that will make create unrest and people get shot and killed and there's protests and riots because of what they said, because of their actions.
GUILFOYLE: Wait for the evidence, Bob.
BECKEL: Don't throw it on the table.
BOLLING: No, no, no, it's for Harry Reid.
GUILFOYLE: It's a much more sophisticated.
BOLLING: A two-year-old case on the table and indicted Thom Tillis.
PERINO: From Florida.
BOLLING: From Florida.
PERINO: I mean, that's not even in South Carolina.
BOLLING: Harry Reid, it's incredible. You want another example. Democrats in despair, race-baiting, example three, to Georgia where Democrats are circulating flyers to peeping black man and children with their hands off and lines like, prevent another Ferguson and don't shoot. K.G., Greg, you guys take this one.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, I mean, this is what I'm talking about. And this is awful, I mean, did these people bear no guilt or any kind of conscious whatsoever to have any responsibility for what happened, the chain of events in Ferguson or tipping off another chain of events and other states by using this race baiting? They're not even caring to seek to bring the country together, they only profit when they divide us, that's basic math, if you look at the equation.
BECKLE: Are you telling about the Republicans are bringing us together?
GUILFOYLE: Bob, I want.
BECKEL: They want example. One example the Republican.
GUILFOYLE: Hey Bob, why don't you point me to an example were a Republican is doing it instead of your party.
BECKEL: I can't, it complete show some bias to Democrats against.
BOLLING: It strikes me that the Republicans are talking about things like the economy, creating jobs, fracking, and increasing energy production. And the Democrats are gone, we're losing and we need to do something that --to try and inside the base, if the base into the voting booth. Racing is to be the one that trying to do. Greg, you brought up Ferguson, this one crazy, right?
GUTFELD: The thing that's disturbing is, you know, we're constantly educated by the left -- about civility and about tolerance and then they smear you. They talk about how bullying, you have celebrities are constantly doing PSA's on how evil bullying is, until they smear you. They -- fling more mud and yet, we are the intolerant ones, I can't think of an example that is -- where Republicans are race-baiting. I don't -- I can't.
BOLLING: Can I ask you, Bob. So, the Democrat Party of Georgia --
GUILFOYLE: We had it, we saw it.
BOLLING: Depicting black men and children with their hands up, something that happened in Ferguson, Missouri, that's OK with you?
BECKEL: Listen, if it's -- if there's anything illegal about that, what is illegal is in Louisiana were Republicans are sending out black voice robo calls saying.
GUILFOYLE: That is not.
BECKEL: This guys gonna elects and say, legislature.
GUILFOYLE: It's not a question.
BECKEL: Is gonna be dirty black.
GUILFOYLE: Not a question of legality.
BECKEL: I'm -- is that -- wait a minute, can I finish for once?
GUILFOYLE: I'm answering.
BECKEL: Just one time? Never mind, go ahead.
PERINO: Let me just.
GUILFOYLE: Such a crybaby, grow up.
PERINO: Part of the things that's happening for the Democrats is that, it's not unusual for a president is his second term to lose -- his part (inaudible) to the midterm. That is a normal course of event, especially if the president is unpopular as George W. Bush was in 2006, lost vote the Republican -- the majority in the House and in the Senate. The other thing is on, in this particular campaign season, President Obama hasn't given Democrats a lot to work with. Especially on the, what are we going to do in the last two years? The war on women and minimum wage were not enough. And so this actually becomes the issue. But I think voters are a lot more sophisticated than typically people give them credit for, for example in Maryland, where the state is struggling economically, you have just recently in the last couple of hours, Charlie Cook, the political strategist and pollster (ph) actually moved the Maryland governor's race from lean Democrat to a tossed up. That is very unusual Bob, that's your home state. So Hogan, the Republican is actually been able to gain on Brown based on policies, and persuasive enough to the point, that they get enough in the polling to show that a Republican could actually win a governorship in Maryland.
BECKLE: Can I ask you guys a question, if you -- if this were on here, in the state of North Carolina, in black communities, they received letters -- from supposedly the social security -- justice department saying, if you vote in the wrong place, you're subject to $5,000 fine and/or prison. It turned out to be a facsimile, wasn't true. Is that race baiting?
GUTFELD: It sounds wrong to me.
BOLLING: It sounds illegal.
GUTFELD: Yeah, it sounds wrong. And I guess.
BECKEL: I shouldn't did make the cut, but I say.
GUTFELD: Well, you know what? You know what, work here Bob, you could bring that to the table.
BECKEL: I did, I brought as now. Didn't get it.
PERINO: It sounded as bad as the Democrats.
GUTFELD: When did it happen?
PERINO: Actually in New York State, letting people know that they were tracking to see whether they vote or not, and that's there will be consequences against them, if you don't. I mean, that's wrong, reported this morning in the New York Post.
BOLLING: Could you realize you're talking about what is illegal and what is wrong? I mean, there are two separate things.
GUILFOYLE: That's what I'm telling to tell him.
BOLLING: Nothing, nothing that these people did, these groups did, Harry Reid's Super PAC, with the Georgia Democrat party, nothing they did was illegal.
GUILFOYLE: That's what Bob is saying.
BECKEL: It's North Carolina Republicans weren't illegal, by sending that facsimile.
BOLLING: Or I guess.
BECKEL: Against the law.
BOLLING: All right. So we agree it is true.
PERINO: So we all agree that is wrong.
GUILFOYLE: No, but the point Bob is saying, it's not illegal, so then we should say, it's fine, because I'm saying the bigger question which is, is it moral? Is it ethical and should we care?
GUTFESD: But by ht way, I mean, let's not to care, for the past three years, Bob has boasted about all the illegal and wrong things you've done.
BECKEL: I have said over and over again, that all the extent you can do without hurting people, then do -- I'll do whatever's necessary to get any vote turned out.
GUTFELD: Well, I think race-baiting it hurts people.
PERINO: It does.
GUTFELD: I think it hurts. PERINO: It hurts all of us, it certainly hasn't help.
BOLLING: And maybe it didn't right. It's not helping the Democrats in this selection. By the way, we had a sound bite by.
BECKEL: We'll see.
BOLLING: Bill Clinton saying, "Enough of the identity politics, the race- baiting, if it doesn't work, it's no good." And that he says hurts people. So he would disagree if does hurting.
All right, ahead on The Five, you won't believe this story. The White House Press Corps should be absolutely ashamed of themselves, President Obama bought their silence today, and you won't believe what it cost, that answer when we come back. And later, it's Facebook Friday, if you have a question for any of us, we'll try to answer them so post them now on our Facebook page, Facebook.com/thefivefnc.
GUILFOYLE: On this Halloween, President Obama had a trick or treat today up the sleeve for reporters and bully the day by. Four days after an election that could radically change the rest of his presidency, he was actually able to negotiate a deal with them, abort Air Force One, to let his press secretary skip the gaggle, in exchange for a death by chocolate cake. You'll love it, death by chocolate cake. Everybody's favorite? GUTFELD: Well.
GUIFOYLE: Time for a butter finger.
BECKEL: What the hell is that all about? What's the story?
GUTFELD: The story is -- that he has no faith in Josh Earnest, right?
BECKEL: We'll have the chocolate cake?
GUTFELD: Bribe. It bribes them.
BOLLING: It's supposed to be a gaggle, right? So he's supposed to add and get some questions to answer and do it four days left before a major election. And instead, President Obama said, I'll tell you what I'm trade you, the time with Josh Earnest, we'll get you cake and we call it even, and no one got to ask him a question.
GUTFELD: It's diabetes.
(CROSSTALK) GUILFOYLE: Thank you for the U.N. interpretation of death by chocolate cake. Dana what do you make of this?
PERINO: Well, a couple of things. First of all, in the New York Times this morning, a report, I think this was the New York Times, but -- I cannot find the word on it -- there's a revelation that Ben Rhodes, deputy national security advisor to President Obama, was on a private conference call, in which he told everyone on that call that the president's intention to make a deal with Iran was the second term's Obamacare, that is how important it is for him and how they intend to try to do it without congressional approval. That is a big story line, OK? This is we're four days out from an election, traditionally, on every day, you even get a briefing at the White House, if the president's in town, if he is not in town, he's on the claim. Then you get the gaggle from the -- and the press corps does that. I could understand if it's like the day before Christmas and there's no news going on, but as the former White House press secretary, I would have preferred to brief today, than to look like -- even if it's as innocent as I think it sounds, to let the press get away with it. Besides, I would want the president to know that I can take heat.
PERINO: Yesterday, he also found out White house senior aides are talking about John Kerry, the secretary of state. Talking about Sandra Bullock in Gravity, saying he's untethered from the White house. You had earlier this week, the senior administration officials saying that Benjamin Netanyahu, the prime minister of Israel.
PERINO: Is a chicken blank.
GUILFOYLE: Chicken blank.
PERINO: It goes on and on. There are reasons for the White House Press Corps to show that they have some relevance. And I think I would have much prefer for them to eat questions, rather than having to eat crow. At this point, I think it's embarrassing.
GUILFOYLE: I Agree.
PERINO: And that is why it should be a story. The press corps holds the administration accountable on our behalf as people, and they should have briefed today.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, but that was the problem, it was a total sellout, so they should hang their heads in shame on this Halloween, right.
BOLLING: Go ahead, Bob.
BECKEL: I was just going to say, that story about Rhodes, I saw it as well. That is a big, big, big story and it's.
PERINO: And the reason they didn't want a brief today.
BECKEL: That's such a big story. That should be the story we do here.
GUILFOYLE: Bring it up right here. That's why there some point of it.
BECKEL: So we can get away with chocolate cake? I think that.
PERINO: The point is Bob, that they've put those things out there, they're trying to get away with, tell our donors about thing -- like an American deal with Iran. If I were -- if the Republicans do win on Tuesday, they should definitely force a resolution vote that Harry Reid has been blocking, to say that the American Congress is telling the president of the United States, you cannot do this without us.
BECKEL: Yeah, I can't -- you know that's the thing.
GUILFOYLE: That would be a strong power move.
BECKEL: If you look at the National Security Acts, how in the world they could possibly cut that kind of deal with Iran is beyond me. I mean, if you can't lift sanctions without it, you can't change military relationships with them. I mean, I don't know what in the world they would talking -- it couldn't change terrorism without it.
PERINO: And I think that is -- that thought they were -- maybe they didn't realize that it looks like they're trying to protect Josh Earnest, from having to answer these questions. But if I were Josh, I would say, "I'll take the briefing, but in the meantime, could someone get a hold of the National Security Council staff.
BECKEL: Yeah, right.
PERINO: And tell them to stop talking about our advisors, John Kerry, they talked about Susan Rice family, they talked about Benjamin Netanyahu, it's like.
GUIFOYLE: Very disrespectful.
PERINO: Expected girls in the locker room.
GUILFOYLE: Yeah, well, you know, there need to be a shake-up but, just hopefully it's gonna happen sooner or later but today, was.
PERINO: It all comes from the top, Kimberly and that does not gonna be shaken up.
GUILFOYLE: You've said that, and I think that's true. It comes from the top, it comes from President Obama. So, that's another thing that you should consider in terms of.
BECKEL: Did Obama call him -- Netanyahu a name like this?
GUILFOYLE: The point is, the message is sent the tone, and what is appropriate and what is accepted, it comes from the top. This is his administration, these are his people and you lead by example.
PERINO: And you wouldn't say that if you hadn't heard the president already say that in some way.
GUILFOYLE: All right, let's listen to this ad, this is conservative worship (ph) ad against Kay Hagan, asking voters to make a referendum against corrupt media, see what you think.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Did you know a major newspaper pulled and rewrote a reporter's story about the IRS scandal, because it exposed an Obama administration falsehood? And do you remember how one network portrayed as racist or bigoted, the first group of Americans to stage protest against Obama's administration policies. And then there was the moderator in a presidential debate who helped Obama out of trouble, just as he was caught falsifying his record. So go to the polls on Election Day, vote against the corruption of American journalism, vote against the liberal Democrat, the elite media favors. Defeat Kay Hagan. Conservative word press (ph) is responsible for the content of this episode (ph)
(END VIDEO CLIP) GUILFOYLE: Dana, you like that?
PERINO: I know national -- I don't know if it will work, but they are following public opinion. Trust in the media is down as an all-time low, and so, you know, as Bob -- there's nothing illegal about that ad, he might think that it's wrong, or people might think that it's wrong, I don't know if it will be effective. But I'm curious because, if you think back to the primary in 2008, when Newt Gingrich went out in attack, when he -- was it 2008 or 2012, when he was pushing again back against the media. That was when his popularity increased the most, so maybe it does work.
GUILFOYLE: And then pinning it on that Kay Hagan. What do you make of that?
BOLLING: I love this. This is -- as Dana pointed out, there's nothing illegal, there's no race-baiting in that ad at all. It's just, hey, look what's going on -- look at how the media has treated -- the media biases treated in favor of the Democrats, look and they gave four or five examples. That's what an ad should be, that's what a political ad should be. It doesn't attack anyone's character, Bob, with the exception of Candy Crowley.
BECKEL: You said that Ferguson ad is not illegal and this is not illegal right? You're taking three things or four things that Kay Hagan absolutely nothing to do, and the implication at the end of that ad is, get rid of her and --
BOLLING: Tie, tie Kay Hagan to President Obama.
PERINO: How was that it? Wait, wait Bob.
BECKEL: Four can on to say. I Did, I say four.
PERINO: Bob, how is that any different from the Democrats trying to tie all Republicans to the Koch brothers? I mean, that is their tactic, right? To say that they're assigned to elitists or they're aligned with elitists and this is to say that they're aligned with elitists on the left.
BECKEL: Well, they, the Koch brothers give a lot of money to a lot of Republicans. These people that IRS doesn't.
PERINO: The media gives in kind contributions to Democrats every day.
PERINO: That's the point of that ad.
BECKEL: It's you can.
GUTFELD: But my prediction for the next two years is that, President Obama will be the (inaudible) Steve Austin. They will rebuild him, they have the technological, they will make him the David to the Republican Goliath. They're already telling the victors, the Republicans who haven't won yet to act like losers, just because you're Republicans, doesn't mean you should act like Republican, you should not do what the public wants you to do, you should act more like liberals like the media, or we will be mad at you, so it's already happening, that ad was right.
BOLLING: Or it will get better.
GUTFELD: What happen?
GUILFOYLE: Facebook Friday and also stay tuned for The Five Halloween party ahead on The Five. (Inaudible).
GUTFELS: Time now for, The Five Facebook Friday. Your answers -- we answers your questions, post that on our page now. All right, the first one goes to Dana.
GUTFELD: From Diane J. Dana, did you do any barrel racing/rodeo growing up in Wyoming?
PERINO: Not like on a competitive level.
GUTFELD: Really? An amateurishly?
PERINO: Well, yeah.
PERINO: Well, yes. Even as a kid, I mean, I wasn't very good. These women are athletes, and they're extremely good at what they do. To me it's kind of dangerous.
GUTFELD: You were doing it for fun?
PERINO: Of course I did it for fun.
GUTFELD: But I didn't.
PERINO: But I lived on a ranch. You wouldn't do barrel racing because it's a women's sport. The rodeo.
GUTFELD: I know.
GUILFOYLE: I love these heavy-lifting segments. Here's the sheet.
PERINO: I love that.
GUILFOYLE: I know, but it's awesome.
GUTFELD: That's neat stuff. Eric, this is from Scott M. "With the Mideast on fire, northern Iraq oil production under ISIS control, why are oil prices down? Mahalo."
BOLLING: Mahalo. OK, so a little bit on the demand side. China and Brazil demand is a little bit down. But for the most part, it's because of fracking. We're fracking at the highest level we've ever done, almost four times the amount we did ten years ago. Also oil in the U.S. is at a 30- year high, so we have more production, and our demand isn't increasing.
And by the way, we're going to be self-sufficient in oil within the next ten years, which is fantastic.
GUTFELD: Excellent. Bob, this is from Cheryl D. "Do you decorate your house for Halloween?" We know you do Christmas.
BECKEL: No, I don't really, because I don't like Halloween. I think it's a...
BECKEL: No, it's a religious thing on my part. It's just...
BECKEL: Yes, it's Satanic.
BECKEL: Yes. It's horrible. I think it's horrible.
GUTFELD: It's the devil's work.
BECKEL: It is. I think that.
GUTFELD: It is the devil's work.
BECKEL: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) I'll tell you one thing. You sometimes...
GUTFELD: You need an exorcist at this point, Bob.
K.G., from Susan C. "Kimberly, of your many careers, which have you found to be the most exciting?'
GUILFOYLE: Oh, should I pick this? I mean, this is definitely the most exciting in a...
PERINO: Because you never know what's going to happen.
GUILFOYLE: You just never, ever know. I would have to say this job, followed by being a prosecutor.
BECKEL: Followed by the dance show you had. Didn't you have a dance show? I'm sorry, I thought you did.
GUILFOYLE: See what I deal with?
GUTFELD: I had no idea. This is to me from Trudy S. "Greg, in your high school yearbook, what are you most likely voted to be, do or succeed at?"
I was class clown. That have to give you something.
GUTFELD: I thought you got Best Eyes.
PERINO: Did you vote for yourself?
PERINO: Did you vote for yourself as class clown?
GUTFELD: I wouldn't do that.
GUILFOYLE: Look at his picture.
GUTFELD: That's a great picture. Look at that -- look at that bow tie.
GUILFOYLE: Serious center part.
GUTFELD: Look at that hair. That is...
GUILFOYLE: "The Brady Bunch."
GUTFELD: ... bad. I look like the guy from the Dr. Pepper commercials. All right.
BECKEL: You look like one of the Village People.
GUTFELD: Village People? Anyway. I'm not even.
Dana, this is from April D. "When is your book coming out?"
PERINO: April. April. One...
GUTFELD; That is creepy. Her name is April.
PERINO: Oh, my gosh.
GUTFELD: And it's happening on Halloween.
BOLLING: In April?
PERINO: That's not the devil. Maybe that's the angel at work.
GUTFELD: What's your book called?
PERINO: "And the Good News Is."
GUTFELD: What's the subhead?
PERINO: To be revealed.
GUTFELD: OK. That's interesting.
PERINO: I mean, it's not "to be revealed."
GUTFELD: I'm sure it's going to be a lovely book. I've read most of it.
PERINO: No, you haven't.
GUTFELD: Yes, I have.
All right, Eric, this is from Dina I. "What is the best Halloween costume you ever wore?"
BOLLING: I won a contest at a Halloween party about 15 years ago. I went as a -- it was like a bug costume, spider/bug, so there was a lot of tentacles coming out. I wore the hat.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, that's weird.
BOLLING: The most embarrassing thing I've ever done. But I won a bottle of champagne for that.
GUTFELD: That's nice.
BOLLING: And got berated for the rest of the year at parties.
GUILFOYLE: That's fun.
GUTFELD: I bet you did.
Bob, this is from Jeff C. "What's your most conservative belief?" This is where you redeem all of your...
BECKEL: I don't have to redeem anything. But by the way, you didn't ask me about my book. My book is called "I Should Have Been Dead." It will be out in February.
GUILFOYLE: I think it's his religion.
BECKEL: No, I would say what's my deepest belief?
GUTFELD: No. Most conservative belief.
BECKEL: That I think it's not a good idea to have public assistance run wild, because I think it breeds -- it breeds people who are dependent. And I think it's a mistake and we're responsible for it. I think my biggest belief is it's something that my people and me were responsible for needs to be undone.
PERINO: Also you're pro-life. Right?
BECKEL: Yes, I'm pro-life, yes.
GUILFOYLE: All right. Well, that was a really good answer.
GUTFELD: It was. Kimberly, this is from Maria R. "If you could have a date with anyone you want, who would it be?" That's a really good question. And be honest. Don't say some kind of thing that...
BECKEL: And don't say me. You say that all the time.
GUILFOYLE: Please, after today, we are so broken up. Over, Bob. Not even New Year's can retain (ph) it.
BECKEL: Can I get my stuff back, please?
GUILFOYLE: I don't know. Who do I want to go on a date with? Oh. Howard Stern.
GUTFELD: There you go.
PERINO: He's married.
GUILFOYLE: If he were single. If he were single.
BECKEL: You like Howard Stern, really?
GUILFOYLE: What? Bob.
GUTFELD: All right. What? Somebody yelled at me.
All right. This is from Kevin to me. "Who are some of the people who make you laugh?"
Well, I have to say first off, "Red..." -- the people on "Red Eye." I laugh for a good 42 minutes every night at things that are intentional and unintentionally funny.
My favorite comedians are probably Neil Hamburger, who's amazing. If you've never heard of him, he's very good. And Jamie LaSalle, and Tom Shillue and Joy Van (ph), Sherrod Small. Like that.
TV shows, "Peep Show," which is no longer on. British show, very funny.
GUILFOYLE: What about Dana Perino?
PERINO: Excuse me.
GUTFELD: Dana Perino.
PERINO: I'm kind of offended. You didn't even mention me.
GUTFELD: You make me laugh. You make me laugh.
GUILFOYLE: Hello. You're on her show tonight.
GUTFELD: I know.
GUILFOYLE: She's hosting "Red Eye."
GUTFELD: I know.
What are you talking about? I've got one more question for Dana. I've got to go?
PERINO: You've got to go. Save it for the next time.
GUTFELD: Do you like -- what horror movies? What's your favorite horror movie?
PERINO: I don't like horror movies at all. They scare me.
GUILFOYLE: They scare me.
PERINO: My parents let me watch them when I was a kid and I just -- I never got used it. I can't watch it.
GUILFOYLE: "Friday the 13th," horrible, horrible.
GUTFELD: Ahead on "The Five," a new clue could help solve one of the world's biggest mysteries next.
PERINO: Is the 77-year-old Amelia Earhart mission closer to being solved?
The female pilot set off to fly around the world in 1937 and then vanished. Researchers now believe that a metal sheet found on a remote Pacific island in the 1990s did, in fact, come from her plane after they matched to it a similar model.
So that got us to thinking here at "The Five," what mystery would we like to see solved in our lifetime? I've always wanted to know the real reason of why the dinosaurs went extinct. Like was it global warming or an asteroid or -- there's this great "Far Side" cartoon that they wouldn't let us show. But remember? It was about how the dinosaurs really went extinct, and they were all smoking?
PERINO: It was so funny. I love that. Gary Larson, your people won't let us show that, which I understand. Whatever your idea is.
GUTFELD: They wanted us to have affordable fuel.
PERINO: Well, thank God for the dinosaurs.
PERINO: So that was mine. And the next person that gets to go is Greg.
GUTFELD: I had a bunch. The popularity of Nickelback has always -- always astounded me.
I have a few -- I have a couple of -- why do I feel weird when I put my finger in my belly button? That is strange.
GUILFOYLE: My God.
GUTFELD: Where does withheld flatulence go? That's bizarre.
Consciousness is a mystery to me. What, is this purely biochemical? Am I truly a self or is this a collection of reactions that are happening all the time?
Where are the aliens? What happened before the big bang? How much of my body and mind could survive if I kept removing things? Like how much could I live off of if I -- could I have a brain and a heart on a pillow? How long could that last? Could I live forever?
GUILFOYLE: That's (UNINTELLIGIBLE)
GUTFELD: Is it?
But my big -- my serious one is 370 -- the Flight 370, because that would satisfy a lot of people's horrors about their lives because they don't know what happened to their families. So I think that figuring out what happened to that plane is the biggest mystery to me.
PERINO: That's interesting. Now I understand what's going on in Greg's world.
GUTFELD: There's 1,000 people that don't know what happened to their...
PERINO: No, I agree with that one. But all the other stuff.
The belly button thing is weird.
GUTFELD: Try it.
PERINO: I'm not trying that.
GUTFELD: Try it now.
PERINO: No, I'm not doing it.
Eric, you're next.
GUILFOYLE: I'm going to do it.
BOLLING: So I took it very seriously. I agree with Greg.
GUILFOYLE: It feels weird.
BOLLING: No. 1 would be Flight 370, because there are so many -- there are so many wackos out there that believe in aliens and things like that. And I really...
GUILFOYLE: Bob believes in ghosts.
BOLLING: And they're all thinking right now that some alien being took MH- 370 and took it somewhere else. I would like to flesh that out, so to speak.
Also the JFK assassination is up there, but the one that really gets me. I just can't -- for the life of me I can't figure out how Al Sharpton got a TV show. And I mean it. I'm not kidding.
PERINO: That's a mystery that could be solved in your lifetime. It's possible. It's possible.
Kimberly, you're next.
GUILFOYLE: OK. Well, I have a lot of them. Zodiac killer. I have a lot of crime...
BOLLING: Good one.
GUILFOYLE: ... question. Yes, I think that would be great, being from the Bay Area. Even JonBenet Ramsey.
However, let's get historical. Marilyn Monroe, a lot of theories about how she died. Was it a suicide? Was it accidental? Was she murdered?
GUTFELD: Good question.
PERINO: What do you think?
GUILFOYLE: Very interesting.
PERINO: What do you think it was?
GUILFOYLE: I mean, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't 100 percent buy the suicide thing. I really don't.
BECKEL: Maybe she was murdered.
PERINO: By who? Right?
BECKEL: Somebody who loaded those barbiturates. It's tough to take that much...
BOLLING: Kennedy or someone else?
BECKEL: I don't know. But I mean, it's tough to take that much and still stay awake to keep taking them. You know? That's the problem.
GUILFOYLE: Right. I think that she was overdosed.
PERINO: Mm-hmm. Bob, you're the text to go.
BECKEL: Well, I have two. One of them is solved and the other one I've got a question about.
How much was the Mafia involved, in fact, in JFK's assassination. Not that I believe that -- the Warren Commission was fairly accurate about what happened, but the Mafia clearly was involved in funding the West Virginia primary against Humphrey on behalf of Kennedy. I'd like to know how much money went behind Oswald, if the Mafia was involved or not.
And the second thing I can answer is when people say, what's before the big bang.
BECKEL: And then the scientists say singularity, that's their answer to it. The answer is God. That's the answer.
PERINO: That's a mystery you don't have to worry about.
GUILFOYLE: That's good.
PERINO: No, you have faith.
All right. Bob's been avoiding sweets for the last few weeks. Can he hold out during our Halloween party? That's coming up next. We'll find out.
BECKEL: Trick-or-treat. It's Halloween. There's plenty of candy to go around here, but I've given up sweets so far this year. And this is like torture for me. Look at all this stuff.
But you ought to keep track of your blood sugar if you can. I do it every day. And since I gave up sugar, my blood sugar has plummeted, which is good, because I'm diabetic, too.
So I'm going to try this out on Eric. It's going to be the first person, see what kind of blood sugar you have.
GUTFELD: So you're diabetic, and you just decided to give up sweets?
GUILFOYLE: No, that's the thing. He never told us he was diabetic until now.
BECKEL: OK. Now...
BOLLING: That didn't hurt.
GUILFOYLE: Did you just prick him on air?
BECKEL: I know. It doesn't hurt.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, because you're a real man.
BECKEL: Wait a second.
BOLLING: Is that blood?
GUILFOYLE: There's blood. Could we not squeeze it all over the table like the ketchup incident?
GUILFOYLE: This is so weird.
BOLLING: Don't show it anymore.
BECKEL: OK, 122. Very good, excellent.
BOLLING: Is that good?
BECKEL: Excellent. See that, 122? You're excellent.
Anybody else want to try it?
GUTFELD: Yes, let's do the -- I'll use the same one.
BECKEL: I'm going to try it on myself if I could.
GUTFELD: Go ahead.
PERINO: That is funny.
BECKEL: What do you think about -- Dana, do you eat a lot of sweets? Do you guys (UNINTELLIGIBLE) -- do you eat a lot of sweets?
PERINO: Do I?
PERINO: No, not anymore. I have a whole list on my phone of foods on that I used to enjoy but I can't eat anymore.
PERINO: Yes. I keep a list.
GUTFELD: Who would do that?
PERINO: Because it's just for memory purposes. You want to be able to look back and look at the foods you used to enjoy.
GUTFELD: That's like having a list of exes in your phone.
PERINO: Things you can't enjoy any more. That's what I like to keep track of.
BECKEL: All right. My report's just in here. I just took this, and it's 116. So it's lower than his.
BOLLING: That's good.
GUILFOYLE: There's blood all over.
BECKEL: And this -- where? The blood -- blood sugar is really important. I'm serious. If you think you're diabetic, or you're borderline diabetic, take this, because it's real important.
PERINO: You should probably consult a doctor.
BECKEL: I'm a doctor (ph).
BOLLING: I have a dumb question.
GUTFELD: Yes. That might be helpful.
GUILFOYLE: Or you can call Dr. Bobola.
BOLLING: You stuck a needle in -- you pricked me with a needle that you used earlier today?
GUTFELD: I'm telling you, you should ask him before he ever does this.
BECKEL: No. When you pull this thing back in, when you see this? When you pull this back in, it cleans itself and drops a needle in.
PERINO: Yes, that's why that's such a good product.
BECKEL: Talking about candy. Do you like candy?
GUTFELD: I love it. The problem with sweets, the -- it's necessary. That's why they taste good. It's evolutionarily designed for us to eat it. But you can never get full off them. Instead, you get sick. It's not like any other kind of food where you can eat and it doesn't -- Remember when you were a kid...
GUILFOYLE: Like Chinese food.
GUTFELD: ... and you got sick on Halloween night, because there was no -- there's no chemical reaction or something in your head that said, "Stop."
GUILFOYLE: Turn it off. Right.
GUTFELD: And you just kept eating and eating. And then you got really sick and you wanted to die.
BECKEL: What about -- what is it about Chinese food? I wonder what that is.
GUTFELD: Chinese food?
BECKEL: You said Chinese food, right?
GUILFOYLE: What I was saying was Chinese food, you eat it and then you want to eat some more. And then you, like, wait some more. And then you, like, wait 15 minutes. And then you're hungry again, and then you eat more.
GUTFELD: Never heard of that theory before.
PERINO: I don't think it's true.
BECKEL: OK. Now let me see. What about your sweets intake? Do you eat a lot? I mean, you stay so skinny. How do you...
GUILFOYLE: Did you see me again? And I ranked my candies. It's so cute, because Dana asked me to rank them. And we have some similarities.
BECKEL: How do you keep your weight down? I flow you're not bulimic. So how is it...
GUILFOYLE: Absolutely not. I don't know. I mean I'm not that thin, to be honest with you. I feel like I'm healthy; I'm a good weight.
BECKEL: Well, let me tell you about recovering alcoholics -- recovering alcoholics eat a lot of sugar. I mean, it's just part of the process. I mean, alcohol is mostly sugar, and so when I gave up sugar -- alcohol, I got into sugar a lot of times.
But I feel a lot better, and I feel healthier. I get...
GUILFOYLE: And we've got healthy snacks in the green room.
BECKEL: I'm more partisan, as it goes along through life. You've probably noticed that. Because my producers are so partisan, so I have to balance that out.
PERINO: It is true that the -- the less candy I eat, the more wine I drink.
GUTFELD: That's true. And when you stop drinking wine, you eat candy.
BECKEL: That's sugar. That's almost all sugar.
PERINO: Well, that's why. I would prefer that sugar.
GUILFOYLE: Maybe you should switch to vodka or gin.
BECKEL: Sugar is what it is. All right, "One More Thing" is up next.
GUILFOYLE: or tequila. What about tequila?
BOLLING: All right, time for "One More Thing." I'll kick it off. It's Friday, so therefore...
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: Fool of the Week
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: So it could have been Kaci Hickox, Ebola nurse. It also could have been Mary Landrieu, the senator. But then there was this, CAIR, Council on American-Islamic relations, head honcho Ibrahim Douglas Hooper decided to call up Bill Maher for a speaking engagement at Berkeley. Here's what he said, and listen to who he compares him to.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
IBRAHIM HOOPER, CAIR SPOKESPERSON: It's an example of somebody would you endorse having that person speak and say nothing about it? If they were spewing the kind of things the KKK or a rabid anti-Semite.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BOLLING: Therefore,, apparently, if you disagree with CAIR, you're a rabid anti-Semite or a blazing racist and should be prevented from speaking what you have to say. For that, you are the "Fool of the Week," Ibrahim.
GUILFOYLE: You've been dying to do that.
BOLLING: Yes, OK. Greg, you're up.
GUTFELD: It confuses a set of political ideas with race. That's the big issue there.
So it's freaky Friday for me. I am hosting O'Reilly tonight. There's me, and there's the O'Reilly thing over there. It's like a giant, wonderful planet.
BOLLING: It's an orb.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's an orb.
And then later, Dana Perino -- you might know her from "The Five" -- is hosting "Red Eye," in which I will be a guest, because it's freaky Friday.
GUILFOYLE: Finally, you've been demoted.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's about time.
PERINO: And probably because you couldn't find anyone else.
GUTFELD: Aww. True.
GUILFOYLE: You guys are like "Laverne and Shirley."
BOLLING: So that was your "One More Thing"?
GUTFELD: No, we're Lenny and Squiggy. Yes, that's it.
BOLLING: There you go. Eight o'clock, don't miss...
GUTFELD: I'm going to do some poetry.
BOLLING: All right. Dana, you're up.
PERINO: So everyone was asking if Jasper was going to get a costume for Halloween. I actually don't dress him up. I'm actually working tonight, as Greg just mentioned. But this was done by FiveFanPhotoshop, and it would be a great costume...
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
PERINO: Jasper as Bob. You love it?
GUILFOYLE: Put him in. I love it.
BECKEL: That's a scary thought.
PERINO: That could be my costume for Jasper.
GUILFOYLE: Look at how good you look when you gave up sugar, Bobby.
BOLLING: Yes, you lost a lot of weight.
GUTFELD: Why the long face?
PERINO: You're as tan as Eric.
BOLLING: All right, Bob, you're up. You think I have the same color as Jasper?
BOLLING: Bob, you're up.
BECKEL: Well, first of all, let me say apparently, some people might have heard me say something earlier in the show which was -- I said something that sounded close to something that wasn't good. So if you assumed it that way, I apologize. It's me, and what do you expect?
Now, in my "One More Thing," those of us who have been this route before, who have paid alimony, you know how painful that is, right? Those of you guys out there paying alimony. Watch this guy as he pays his last alimony check.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Done! Thank you, Jesus! I'm free at last! Woo! I'm breakdancing, baby, $10,000. Michael Jackson, woo!
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BECKEL: That's exactly right.
PERINO: Bob, I can't imagine why he got divorced.
BECKEL: Leaving that aside, fellas, if you've had to pay it before and you get to the last payment, it is like magic.
BOLLING: All righty, K.G. You're up.
GUTFELD: That's romantic.
GUILFOYLE: Charming show we have here.
Happy Halloween, everybody, and this morning I got to be on "FOX and Friends" and do a little Halloween party with a bunch of cute dogs and costumes and adorable children. And they had me dress up as Wonder Woman. And my little boy is a storm trooper, so I'm going home to trick-or-treat.
GUTFELD: You wrapped him in tinfoil. That's not a costume. You are the laziest mother.
GUILFOYLE: And a squirt gun.
PERINO: So you told him, "You look just like a storm trooper."
GUILFOYLE: Come on. He's like party city.
GUTFELD: He looks like barbecued corn on the cob.
GUILFOYLE: Aw, poor little Ronan with his homemade costume.
PERINO: Those are the best kind.
GUILFOYLE: Yes. So anyway, it's going to be fun. I love Halloween. I hope you guys have a safe Halloween with your family and your children.
BOLLING: All righty. Have a great weekend. By the way, don't forget, Greg, 8 p.m. tonight on "The O'Reilly Factor." Dana's going to host "Red Eye." Big guest on "Red Eye" tonight: Greg.
PERINO: Actually, a little guest.
BOLLING: Bob, what are you doing?
BECKEL: I'm not -- I'm going to church. What about you? You've got your show tomorrow, right?
BOLLING: No, we're preempted.
BECKEL: No wonder we're not talking about it.
BOLLING: That's it, everyone, have a very, very safe Halloween. "Special Report" on deck, coming up right now.
GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.
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