Miller Time: Bye Bye Barney Frank
Dennis Miller gives a special send off as Congressman Barney Frank heads towards retirement
This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," November 30, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, our pal Dennis no big fan of Barney Frank and has some deep and personal thoughts about the congressman not running for re-election. Miller joins us now from Los Angeles.
Before we get to the congressman. You've been listening to the program. Do you have some thoughts on it tonight?
DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: First off, if Morris is still there, tell him I've got the advanced galley of copy of "Dove 17: The Final Conflict." He wants me to blurb the dust jacket. Tell him I'll get around to it when I can. That's an intrepid little money-making pooch he's got there.
And secondly again where was Tonto's Weed Kiosk? I want to get some gift cards for the high holy days.
O'REILLY: Right. It's in Oakland. Oakland is the center of a lot of things these days.
MILLER: All right. I hadn't seen Silverheels in a long time. It was good to know he's still out there making a buck.
O'REILLY: Right. Now that the program's over, he's got to make a living.
MILLER: Yes. Of course.
O'REILLY: Come on. All right. Jay Silverheels, by the way. Remember that? That's who played Tonto.
MILLER: That's why I called him Silverheels. I'm all over it.
O'REILLY: Barney Frank, and I know you sent him a lovely parting gift or card? What do you do?
MILLER: Well, listen, Bill, it's time any kid of a certain age in this country will tell you when a decrepit old varicose purple dinosaur named Barney has his extinction card flipped on him, he's got to go. But you know, doesn't hurt me. I don't think he's a good man. I don't think he's a good human being. I think he's Nancy Pelosi with a spittle problem. And I think he's a karma compromiser. If you don't decry guys like that consistently, you put yourself in harm's way with the furies.
I think of Barney Frank as an empathy theoretician. Every day he thinks about how he can save the unwashed masses from themselves. If he accidentally has one of them cross his appreciable path he'll probably light them up. Forget being the savior; forget parting the Red Sea. How's about saying nice, "How are you? How are you today? Yes, we disagree, but I still think you're a valid human being."
What should he do as he ambles off into the night? I think that he should shape up a little. Join a gym, for God's sake, because eventually that Freddie Mac and cheese makes your Fannie Mae drop, and I think he's got some problems here. I think he and Rangel ought to go down to the Caribbean, two old war horses they are, and test the weave durability on low-grade composition fabrics they use to make cheap knockoff chase lounges. Adios, Barney.
O'REILLY: There's a lot there, Miller. And I'm just processing it all. Right now, it sounds to me you're not sad he's leaving.
MILLER: No. He's a great guy, Billy. I'll miss him just because I loved you two locking antlers twice a year.
O'REILLY: Yes, well, we… and by the way, Miller, you've got to stick around after your segment, because the Democratic Party is actually saying that Barney Frank is saving the economy, and Karl Rove is going to handle that after you.
Now the GOP field obviously narrowing five weeks until Iowa and, you know, in those weeks you've got Christmas, Hanukkah. You've got New Year's Eve. So going to be a lot of people diverted. And it looks like it's Gingrich against Romney right now.
MILLER: Yes. I think you got a good call. You know, if I had to say anybody could come from weirdness, because everybody seems to be coming way far from left field. I don't think Santorum has done anything to hurt himself at this point.
But you know what, Billy? It reminds you of the gut theory of politics. I trusted my gut on Herman Cain. Now, I still trust my gut on Herman Cain as being a pretty decent guy. I don't trust my gut as much as I used to, because he's not presidential at this point.
And I had a perfect call from a guy today on my radio show. I want to get it his name is Mark in Boston. You tell me if this isn't the definition of pithy, Billy. He said the problem with the Cain train is there's too much steam on the windows and not enough in the engine. That, not mine. Mark in Boston. But it's a perfect description of what's happening here.
O'REILLY: You know, you and I did, we did a couple of shows in Richmond and Atlantic City. We both agreed, because we do talk politics on stage, that it wasn't so much all of this other extracurricular stuff that sunk Mr. Cain. It was his inarticulation on Libya and on China and other things combined with that.
If he had been… that's why Newt Gingrich, despite the baggage that he has, is over… seems to be overcoming all of that… is because Newt seems to be right on the policy area when asked about it.
MILLER: Listen, like I said, you can't take an 11-second pause on Libya. You've got to say something, even if it's just "If it says Libya, Libya, Libya, on the label, label, label."
O'REILLY: Yes.
MILLER: Something.
O'REILLY: Anything.
MILLER: You've got to come up with something.
O'REILLY: Right.
MILLER: And Gingrich, I think people are longing for that Gingrich- Barack Obama debate like they're longing for Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao. They want to see that. They ought to put that on pay-per-view. I think we could solve the deficit right there.
O'REILLY: Do you think, though, as we were talking about, that independent voters are more likely to support Gingrich over Romney? I think Romney might have an advantage in those precincts.
MILLER: Listen, as Barack Obama continues to ostracize himself and estrange himself from otherwise moderate people, yes, I think Gingrich has a better chance of getting in there.
I think if it was tight, moderates would be "maybe I can't go to Gingrich." But they're actively getting angry at him. Because guess what? The president's approach to these first three years has… it's horrible, Bill. It couldn't be much worse. Have you… we were just out. Is the country not depressed?
O'REILLY: No, absolutely. People are hurting, and they're scared. And they're… you know, they're toughing it out, but nobody is confident. That's for sure.
MILLER: Yes. Well, listen, he's forced a lot of moderates who might be predisposed to stick with him, or at the very most, they'll go after Romney to go after Gingrich because I think they want to see this cat pancake. Because I think they think he's not dealing square with him.
O'REILLY: OK. Now Chris Christie, kind of moderate. A little bit conservative. But you know, socially a little progressive. So I would call him a moderate. He is very angry with Barack Obama, as well. Roll the tape.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GOV CHRIS CHRISTIE (D), NEW JERSEY: I was angry this weekend, listening to the spin coming out of the administration about the failure of the super committee and that the president knew it was doomed for failure so he didn't get involved. Well, then what the hell are we paying you for? "It's doomed for failure, so I'm not getting involved"? Well, what have you been doing exactly?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
O'REILLY: Well, he's coming into New York to raise money as Donald Trump put it.
MILLER: Boy, I wish Mr. Smith and Wollensky would go to Washington, because that guy is right on top of it.
By the way, Billy, I don't know if I told you. The family and I for Thanksgiving this you're had the turducky, which is the turkey inside the duck inside Chris Christie. Delicious. You put a couple yams on the side. You'll absolutely love it.
Here's my problem with Barack. I think it's Christie's problem with Barack. They always drop the race dime on us when we disagree. It has nothing to do with him being a minority. It has everything to do with him being a minor character.
He's not doing enough. He's not leading. A guy like Christie gets that. And guess what? Those moderates that you're talking about, those moderates that might be emblematic in Christie, are so disaffected from this guy right now. Yes, they might slide over to Newt town.
Believe it or not, who would have thought that comeback, and it could still happen, because a guy named Newton has to know what goes up could come down. But I'm telling you: right now, people want that pay-per-view fight between the two. Put that in Vegas, that debate. I'm flying in.
O'REILLY: All right. Dennis Miller, everybody.
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