Dennis Miller on WikiLeaks Controversy, Jimmy Carter Bashing Fox News Again

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," December 1, 2010. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: The D-man has been talking about WikiLeaks on his fine radio program, syndicated by Westwood One, and he joins us now from Los Angeles.

So just tell the audience that haven't heard you on the radio what your take is on this.

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I didn't even know who this guy was a month ago. I looked up on my screen, I thought, "My God. Chef Gordon Ramsey has got malaria." But then, all of a sudden, I find out it's Julian Assange. And, you know, I'm no fan of artificial dissemination, Billy. I will say this: Thank God he's putting it on The New York Times because nobody is reading it. The only place he could bury this more below the fold is the cover of Newsweek. Maybe put it there. Keep everybody's secrets safe.

O'REILLY: All right. So you don't think it's catching on with the mainstream audience. You might be right. But it certainly damages America's ability to protect itself because, we discussed earlier in the program with Dr. Scheuer, people aren't going to want to get into business with us, as far as intel is concerned, if they think it's going to be on the Internet. And President Obama doesn't look real strong in this situation.

MILLER: Well, listen, I think last time through it was more deleterious to our cause. This time through, I mean, Hillary is trying to gather secrets on somebody? Go back and ask Linda Tripp about that. Gadhafi travels with a voluptuous blonde. Listen, that's his masseur. And you know, it's the peroxide Cossack who knows how to get the head out of the derriere. And then the last revelation wasn't no shock to me, that Kucinich is indeed from the planet Uranus. So this time through, I think we all knew this stuff. The last time through when they revealed names in our effort in the War on Terror, yes, I think if this kid keeps this up, this is the reason the poison-tipped bumbershoots were invented. And if they're not going to do that, I at least say we sentence him to three hours on a tanning bed with Snooki.

O'REILLY: Do you want him punished?

MILLER: Yes. I think they should off him just because he's a pale dweeb. Listen, I assume that somewhere, Billy...

O'REILLY: All right. Just on looks alone you want him off the planet.

MILLER: Somewhere in the bowels of Langley there is an old -- there's an old CIA guy like Alfred Molina in "The Company." One of these old-style Eastern Bloc spooks. And I guarantee you, if this guy gets anywhere near anything that's really going to compromise this country, I assume they off him.


O'REILLY: I don't think so. Not anymore. I mean, after the first round in July, they should have charged him with espionage, and they didn't do anything about it.

Jimmy Carter, former president, as you know. I think you voted for him, Miller, did you not? That was in your dark period? Didn't you vote for Carter?


O'REILLY: No? Even then you knew better?

MILLER: Listen, I could have been Eugene McCarthy. I could sense he was a drip that time through. I mean, Carter in '95, he had the worst presidency ever. Then in '95 he goes to North Korea and he gets played like an Amish preacher in a game of gin rummy on a Washington Wizards charter flight for God's sakes. I'm trying to figure out what his play is here, and I think I've got it, Billy. It was the worst presidency of modern times. So what he's trying to do is make his apres-presidency even worse so he looks like a genius when he was in office.

O'REILLY: But why -- why would you...

MILLER: I can't believe Habitat for Humanity trusts him with a hammer.

O'REILLY: I don't know. I think he's hit himself in the head a few times with that hammer.


O'REILLY: Because he continues to say stuff like this. Roll it.


JIMMY CARTER, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I think there's a radicalization of news presentation. Not only with the news broadcast but with the commentators that are particularly vicious, I think, and damaging and irresponsible on Fox News, where they have presented an image that the American people have adopted to a excessive degree that President Obama is not even a citizen of our country, that he's a Muslim, and that he's a socialist.


O'REILLY: I think he's talking about you, Miller. I think it's all your fault.

MILLER: I hope so. I loathe the guy. I hope he loathes me. You were a horrible president, Jimmy. And you're a crazy old man. You're Rip Taylor without the confetti.

O'REILLY: Rip Taylor. Is he still alive, Rip Taylor? Is he still around?

MILLER: Yes. You just saw him on that clip.

O'REILLY: All right. Miller and I are trying to book our passage to Cancun for the climate summit in Mexico, correct, Miller? We're going to stay down there. And what are we going to do down there?

MILLER: All I know is you thought Cancun was full of horny simpletons during spring break, you can't wait to see this week. And they're all going to fly in on private planes.

Listen. Do me a favor: drive Down to Cancun in a Smart car and go through Juarez. You'll get some air conditioning. They'll put a hole here, a hole there, and a hole there.

Listen. They better dine on this while they can, because it's going away within the next 10 years. Either they're right and we're all dead, or they're wrong and this stuff is going to be defunded. So they best party like it's 1999.

O'REILLY: They are. I mean, Cancun for global warming. I mean, what better place than maybe South Beach in Miami? I mean…

MILLER: Hey, Billy, it's Cancun. It's not the Hotel Decaf. At some point, you're getting sprayed down with a beer by Sammy Hagar.

O'REILLY: Yes, that would cool you off, and we don't want that. We want to stay warm at the global warming conference. OK.

Now, I was hoping that you were going to be selected to host the Academy Awards this year. You know, your HBO special went through the roof. Get the Miller guy. You know, he'll be fair and balanced.

MILLER: And you were going to do -- and you were going to do the Helen Thomas lifetime roast.

O'REILLY: Yes, I'm going to give you the award from the Academy for, you know, film criticism over the years or something. But Miller was rejected, and Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Now I thought James Franco was from the Franco family, the disco singers. But he isn't.

MILLER: No, no. That's the chef -- that's the Chef Boyardee thing.


MILLER: Franco-American, it's a whole different thing.

O'REILLY: So why would anybody watch -- I'm sure they're good actors. Why would anybody watch them hosting the Academy Awards?

MILLER: Well, listen, she's a great actress. Let me say that. "Rachel Getting Married," she's a stunner of an actress. She's a keen observer of the human condition, as most actors are, unless you're her boyfriend of four years, who's taken millions out of Ronnie Burkle's pocket. Other than that, she notes everything.

And Franco is in the new movie. I think he's great. I think he's going to kill. I'm a big fan. He's in the new movie "127 Hours," about the hiker who had to cut his arm off. And that's while I would give out the first statuette that night. Bring up the best supporting actors. He hands it to them. He pulled away, and the arm just sticks on the statue. The whole place will go.

O'REILLY: A baffling choice, but I guess it could work, Miller. You know that industry better than I do.

MILLER: I think they'll be great at it.

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