Dennis Miller On The Oscars, Al Gore

This is a partial transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," February 28, 2007, that has been edited for clarity.

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.

In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, doesn't get better than this for Mr. Miller, who has some thoughts on the Oscars and the left-wing press. Dennis joins us now here in the New York studio.


O'REILLY: Nice to see you.

MILLER: Thank you for having me.

O'REILLY: Are you doing Letterman tomorrow night?

MILLER: Yes. I just flew in from Las Vegas. And I might be a off my feet tonight.

O'REILLY: I want you to tell Dave — I want you to tell Dave I said hello. It will be interesting to see how he treats you, now that you are doing this program. He's our best friend over there.

All right. Did you go to any of the Oscar parties?

MILLER: No. I'm not persona non grata, but I live like 90 miles away from L.A. I wouldn't do that.

O'REILLY: Would they have invited you?

MILLER: Yes, I have to give Grayden Carter — you know, he's invited me to all his parties.

O'REILLY: The "Vanity Fair" thing?

MILLER: This year he didn't. And then I saw the guest list, Gore and Natalie Maines. You know, these are people that I kind of poke fun at. So I can see where he wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable.

O'REILLY: But I'd love to see you walk in and see how the reaction is, you know. Because they're not confrontational, these people. They're usually not confrontational.

MILLER: Well, I have to tell you, Bill. I don't — listen, I get a little of it. You know, occasionally, Rob Reiner will say I'm naive. But short of that, you know, I don't get much — it doesn't get fractious.

O'REILLY: Even when I ran into Natalie Maines, she didn't say anything. She said when I — the next day she said nasty stuff but not to my face.

All right. So you watched the Oscar broadcast?

MILLER: Well, listen, I thought Ellen was good. I thought Helen Mirren was the prettiest gal in the room. I love the fact that by the time Alan Arkin got to the stage Eddie Murphy was gone out of the theater already. You could see that Roadrunner cloud heading off into the distance after he lost.

O'REILLY: They don't like Eddie Murphy out there in Hollywood.

MILLER: Well, you know, listen. Eddie — truth be told I think Eddie's one of those guys if you said to him, would you rather win the Oscar or would you rather continue to have your price be $20 million a film for comedies.

O'REILLY: You've known him for a long time.

MILLER: No, I can't say that I do. But I did meet him way back when because of the "Saturday Night Live", the right stuff group. And so I've met him over the years.

But listen, Eddie likes to be unto himself. And really, like I said, I think he felt a little pulled into that. He didn't want to buy into it completely. I saw him pulling out "Pluto Nash" references the whole way up the red carpet.

O'REILLY: Everybody knew Arkin was going to win. It's all a popularity contest at this point.

MILLER: By the way, the thing about the people who die is interesting to me. They put that very touching clip package together every year. Is it just me or does, like, Jack Palance die once a year?

O'REILLY: They have to bring him back because he was such a hit. He was probably the funniest thing that's happened to the Oscars in 50 years with the one-handed push-up.

Now, when you saw the Al Gore celebratory theme how did that strike you?

MILLER: Well, listen, Leo, who is quite an impressive guy. I think he should front that effort, opposed to Gore who I find a bit of a stiff. But he said it's the first green Oscars.

But let's be truthful, there's always a suitable degree of envy in that room on any given year. It's always been a little green.

And you know, when Gore came up, I don't like lock step, even if it's ostensibly about open-mindedness. And that's what it seems like. Everybody is on board. This same woman, Tipper Gore, they used to polarize and make fun of, all of a sudden they're the belles of the ball.

And I love the fact that when they gave the standing ovation Nicholson did not stand. This is why I love Jack Nicholson.

O'REILLY: He couldn't stand. He couldn't. See how much weight he put on? And he's got the glasses, and it throws him off.

MILLER: And he's still the coolest guy in the room.

O'REILLY: He is. He'll always be that.

MILLER: I thought the low point of the Oscars, though, Bill, is when Ellen did the joke about the recount in Florida. This is what cracks me up about Al Gore. He is absolutely certain of temperature figures in the year 2057. Absolutely certain as he tells you about them. And yet, when you talk about election figures from the year 2000, they're still gray and murky, you know.

O'REILLY: Well, I don't — see, a lot of right-wing people dislike Gore, and they try to hurt him, by saying look — look at his place in Tennessee that's got, you know, his carbon footprint.

MILLER: That right winger faction.

O'REILLY: Well, but the thing is everybody can be called upon as a hypocrite. Everybody. Nobody — you could say OK, you want this, but you do that.

And for Gore, I think Gore is doing a service. I think we should have a debate about global warming. Fine.

MILLER: But 20 times the average household?

O'REILLY: Well, you know, he's using it around his office. And Tipper is having big parties in there when he's gone. You didn't know that. When he's gone out of town, woo! I mean, that's where it's going.

MILLER: Short of the Tennessee Valley Authority, that much energy has never been — and I know he's not using them on a treadmill. I saw him at the Oscars.

O'REILLY: You know, he's got the private jet. Of course he's got the private jet. I mean, come on.

MILLER: All those things are fine. I'm just saying periodically drop the veneer and go, "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

O'REILLY: Right. You can't be criticizing somebody who — this global warming thing is important. That's the way I feel about it.

MILLER: Me too. But...

O'REILLY: But I agree with you...

MILLER: If he's going to front it he can't have an Emmitt Kelly size carbon footprint.

O'REILLY: Next — next year, I guarantee you a polar bear is going to win the Oscars. It's going to, because they're drowning. And I'm sending life vests.

MILLER: What else you got on the plate tonight?

O'REILLY: I've got the ACLU president in Virginia being busted in child porn and no left wing media covering it. This is outrageous.

MILLER: This is exactly the issue that the New York Times should beeline in on and become the great paper they were at one point. But they have fallen so far.

You want me to tell you, when I was coming in here today, I saw Jayson Blair sleeping on a park bench under a Daily News. That's how bad it has gotten.

The masthead over there at one point read "All the news that's fit to print."

O'REILLY: To print, right.

MILLER: But it's someone suddenly morphed to an agenda where "it's all the news that fits, we print."

O'REILLY: That fits our far left view of the world.

MILLER: Man, and I really believe it. I'm not being paranoid.

O'REILLY: No, it's true.

MILLER: The paper's ombudsman is Fidel Castro. And you know something? They're so anti-Bush now that they won't even use words in the crossword puzzle that have a "W" in it.

O'REILLY: Can you imagine, I mean, here's a guy that fought against library filters in Virginia, this guy, and won. The ACLU knocked out any filter. So you can get child porn in the libraries of Virginia if you want to.

And then he's busted on child porn. And the Washington Post puts it in the metro section with three paragraphs.

MILLER: Well, you know, might shed some light on whenever I hear the ACLU is fighting for the rights of NAMBLA yet against the rights of Boy Scouts to be on public campgrounds. You think what is wrong over there? Maybe this gives a glimpse into that.

O'REILLY: I hope so. I mean, I hope people finally wake up and see how extreme...

MILLER: Well, they got to wake up at the New York Times, too. Somebody should pinch Sulzberger and wake him up. Because he's got worse circulation problems than a guy climbing Everest in a Speedo.

O'REILLY: He is a committed leftist who's going to go to his grave that way. He's going to use his vehicle, and that's it.

MILLER: Especially in the '08 election.

O'REILLY: All right. So tell Dave Letterman I said hello. All right? And you love being on "The Factor".

MILLER: And we'll hook up for a steak afterwards.

O'REILLY: And Letterman, love to see him in here.

MILLER: I'll be like Sinatra bringing Dean and Jerry back together.

O'REILLY: That's right. Get us together.

Dennis Miller everybody.

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