Dennis Miller on O'Reilly-McClellan Shoot-out

This is a rush transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," July 30, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment: three hot topics. We begin with the O'Reilly-McClellan shoot-out yesterday.


O'REILLY: Do you owe me an apology?

SCOTT MCCLELLAN, FORMER WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMAN: The truth is, I messed up. I was specifically not trying to single anybody out, including you. But the way a couple of those questions were phrased in that interview, along with my response, left things open to interpretation, and I should not have let that happen.


O'REILLY: Joining us now from L.A., where he survived the quake, syndicated radio talk show king, Dennis Miller.

I heard you talk about this today. You follow my program in some markets, like WOR here in New York. You know, Scott McClellan cavalierly saying that some people at FOX, including me, get White House talking points. Totally untrue. What's your take on it?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: He's an exquisite dupe, and I don't think the world has seen a lightweight like him since Julio Cesar Chavez in his prime. At this point, he doesn't know whether to spin or get off the pot. I was amazed that it took him that long just to say the words "I'm sorry."

My favorite film of all time is probably "A Man for All Seasons." Paul Scofield. John Hurt in his maiden screen voyage, plays Richard Rich in there. He's a guy who wants to work for Paul Scofield, Thomas More, but he can't. So he ends up working for Cromwell, and everybody disappoints him eventually. They all leave him, because they're just using him.

I think Scott McClellan is Richard Rich. And much like the movie, the only person he can probably depend on down the road to take him back is Bush, the man he was a traitor to. Bush is a good man. He'll probably take him.

O'REILLY: I don't think he'll take him back, but I could be wrong on that.

But I told Scott McClellan, look, you're being played, you're being used. And in this business, news and entertainment, people use people all of the time, but McClellan is resisting that. He doesn't seem to get it yet. And I'm just going, is he obtuse, or does he just not want to get it?

MILLER: He's a little stupid, and at this point, Chris Matthews fancies himself sort of Edward R. Murrow to coffee gophers, and I guess he likes — this is sport for him. It's like, you know, sitting ducks in a barrel or something. He weighs in, and he takes guys like McClellan apart. It's easy play, it seems, for him to take these guys apart. He's not exactly Dorothy Parker.

O'REILLY: OK. Now, we have a new campaign ad from John McCain, and the campaign is trying to mock Obama. Now, there's no one better in this country at mocking, and you know it. You are the mock king of the United States. So we're going to roll the tape, and you're going to tell me whether this mocking works. Go.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: He is the biggest celebrity in the world, but is he ready to lead? With gas prices soaring, Barack Obama says no to offshore drilling and says he will raise taxes on electricity. Higher taxes, more foreign oil. That's the real Obama.


O'REILLY: All right. So Britney and Paris, when they say celebrity, they show them. Does it work?

MILLER: I don't want John McCain and his campaign to be aware of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. If he's in the gravitas business, and I know that's overused, but I don't even want him to know about that.

Now granted, if you're talking about a testimony to the dangers of being over-drilled, you might want to go to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. But quite frankly, it seems a little stupid to me, a little juvenile. Maybe they should have shown those women screaming on the "Sullivan" show and cut to the Beatles with, you know, Obama's head art-boxed onto all four of the Beatles or something. But this one seems a little stupid.

Like I said, those two girls are so down-marketed at this point, why does a presidential candidate, indeed one in his 70s, even know who they are?

O'REILLY: I just want to make two points. No. 1, I did not get the drilling joke that you just put out. I didn't get that. And No. 2, it's a subliminal thing. That's what this is. That they present these people, lightweights, and nobody takes them seriously, in the commercial with Obama. And the subliminal message, as "Saturday Night Live" used to do all the time — remember the subliminal guy? — is that he's a lightweight. He doesn't know anything. That's why they did that. But you don't think it worked?

MILLER: I don't think he's a heavyweight, but I think you, at your own danger, start comparing him to pop idols like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. That's a little bit too disparaging.

O'REILLY: Now, at the top of the program, we were talking about the mistakes that both Obama and McCain have made. Do you want to weigh in on this?

MILLER: Yes. I think McCain is the not drilling in ANWR. If I was the president, I'd run so many pipes in there, I'd suck it dryer than Noel Coward's memoirs. I mean, it's not even Alaska 90210. It's up in the hinterland. So that's stupid to me that McCain will not drill there. I don't quite get that.

On the Obama side, I would agree with Wolfson that I think the bitter comment, up until recently, was the one that I thought was the biggest gaffe. But I think this thing about refusing to concede the surge has worked really is eating into his street cred.

I know there's the guy who cried wolf, but if there's one thing worse than that, it's the guy who refused to cry wolf when the wolf was gouging out his carotid artery. And if Barack Obama cannot bring himself at this point to say yes, it's working, I kind of missed that one. Well, then he's the boy who refused to cry wolf.

O'REILLY: All right. But his rationale, just so everybody knows, is that you voted against the surge because, even though it's working, the whole thing is a waste of time and money, and let's get the hell out of there as fast as we can.

MILLER: Most of my feeling is you get too convoluted about killing bad guys, and the American people aren't going to like you for it. At some point, you're going to say, they're evil. Either I want to talk to them, or I went to croak them. We've got to be pretty clear about that. He wants to talk to them. McCain wants to croak them. I'm voting for McCain.

O'REILLY: OK. And I agree that I think the surge comment did not help Barack Obama. Finally, the earthquake. Now you had fires that have run at your house, or at least close by. And now yesterday the earthquake. Were you there? Did you feel it? What did you do?

MILLER: Well, listen, I didn't feel it at all, and I think we're getting a little silly about these earthquakes. I mean, a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese gets knocked in Bonds (ph), you guys got — you know, you've got people doing the full Lewinsky right under the desk. It just seems a little silly to me.

And now, in addition to having to survive the earthquake, with all these cameras, you have to look cool during the earthquake. The only guy I really respect was the fat guy from the mimeograph office. He looked like he had a two-martini lunch. He kind of saunters in. He could care less about it. He actually looked cool a bit, at that point. You know, the guy who comes up to the secretary and says, "Can you do me a flavor?" That guy. He's the...

O'REILLY: He looked cool during the earthquake. Judge Judy had a very hard time looking cool during an earthquake.

I just — again, on the record, I did not get the Lewinski comment. I just didn't understand what that was.

All right. So you think that is all hyperbole? But remember, you live in that earthquake zone. At any moment, you could be swept out to sea, Miller. I'm here in New York. I can't help you, man.

MILLER: Yes, there's a lot of downsides to living anywhere. If they grab up and bite you, you shouldn't whine about it.

O'REILLY: All right. So you're ready to go to Japan at any moment's notice? There you go. Get him, get him. Dennis Miller, everybody.

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