Dennis Miller Muses on Religion, Dick Morris' Kids Book, Obama at G-20 and Kim Kardashian's Divorce

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," November 2, 2011. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight: President Obama now in the air heading to Cannes, France, for yet another economic summit. Following the situation very closely, the sage of Southern California, Dennis Miller, who joins us now from Los Angeles. Before we get to the economic summit, are you a believer? Do you believe in God, Miller?

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, Billy, I believe that someone created Darwin. I don't know what that makes me; I don't know what sort of metalwork I'm supposed to put on the rear bumper of my car but, yes, I do hit my knees and humble myself and thank God for all my gifts and ask for things for other people. So, yes, I'm a believer.

O'REILLY: Now, you were a Catholic kid, right, in Pittsburgh? Weren't you raised there?

MILLER: Yes, but last time -- last time I went to confession, I said "You first." Things have gotten a little rickety over there.

O'REILLY: I know, but you can't hold the theology…

MILLER: No, no.

O'REILLY: …responsible for the people in it.

MILLER: Obviously not -- obviously not, Billy. Not quibbling with the book, just the current cast sometimes.

O'REILLY: You know, and -- and in our first "Bolder Fresher" show I actually brought a priest into the dressing room with Miller and I to conduct an exorcism on -- on Dennis.

MILLER: It was a real head-turner for me, Billy.

O'REILLY: He's a good guy, right?

MILLER: Yes, he was a sweet guy.


MILLER: Listen, you just meet some guys who are imbued with God and they've got that look about them and that resonance and you know there's something there.

O'REILLY: I think so, too. All right, so Cannes, France. You ever been there? You ever been to Cannes?

MILLER: Hey, wait a second -- wait a – damn it, get off -- get -- Billy, darn, I've got some blind dog named Dubs here humping my leg looking for a ball. Morris is unbelievable.

O'REILLY: He's out of control.

MILLER: Can you get me a schedule when he's selling his blood for money this week?

O'REILLY: I mean, no, Dick Morris and children's books. Shari Lewis is turning over in the grave, all right? Lamb Chop just turned herself in. Morris is now with the kids in a book, all right, so.

MILLER: What's that -- I'm going to see him in Cirque de Soleil next in a unitard. Come on, Dick.

O'REILLY: All right, Cannes, France. Have you ever been there, Miller?

MILLER: We're having trouble getting out of the box tonight. Listen, I've never been to Cannes, but I -- I think what's happening here is "Bibi" Netanyahu wants to have the big 20 together if he has to do Iran this weekend. Now, that's the -- that would be the fantasy, but I think they're actually going over to discuss this -- one of the main topics in the article I read is this financial transactions tax. And I find it interesting that Barack Obama pays lip service to the "Occupy Wall Street" crowd. After the snowstorm this weekend, chapped lip service. But, I guarantee you he's going to vote against that tax because he's in the bag for Wall Street as much as anybody.

And, by the way, can I ask you a question as a New Yorker? How in the hell can these kids set up a semi-permanent city within a city in Zuccotti Park and, yet, when I go to JFK after the gig we did over the weekend, I have to shoulder roll out of my limousine because I'm not allowed to stop at the curb for a nanosecond before 12 cops airdrop in with tasers and a ring of death. How are these kids allowed to just live in New York now?

O'REILLY: It is -- it is one of these things and one of these rare things because the NYPD is a pretty tough outfit. They have -- they've intimidated everybody and -- and they're afraid to go in and say, look, we've had enough of this, you've been there for three months or whatever you've been there. You've got to get out of here because the rats are now getting bigger than the tents, you know, come on. So, I -- I just think it's -- it's about time that Mayor Bloomberg did something about it.

MILLER: Well, Billy, if they were really paying serious, you had somebody on the show in the last two weeks that said the most pertinent thing, if they were really paying attention, these people would be marching on the White House because I guarantee you Obama's going over to that G7 to go -- to vote against that financial transaction tax.

And, by the way, when did it go from G7 to G20? I mean, who in the hell is 20, Legoland? Why don't we go to G64 like the, you know, March Madness in the NCAA.

O'REILLY: Well, pretty soon there'll be -- the Maldives will be in there and, come on, you've got to give these people a break. They want to -- this is a big party, this is a big -- Cannes, yeah, here we are, where's the -- where's Brigitte Bardot? She lives around here.

MILLER: Where's the Greek army? The Greek Army's here. They're in -- they're in striped jodhpurs with a conquistador helmet and they're clogging. Let's let them in.

O'REILLY: I know. Business is good in Cannes. All right, now, "The View" wants to host a GOP debate. "The View" ladies want to do that and you say?

MILLER: Well, listen, I don't hold these debates that sacred that I would rule that out ahead. But, listen, Billy, you play an odd part in this. This is why Barbara Walters freaked that day about the brand. When they walked off on you, they abdicate any sort of claim to having anything like a debate. It's not a serious thing. It was a little worldwide wrestling that day, them walking off. And, at that point, I don't think they can ask for a debate anymore, and you know that Barbara Walters is the savviest chick and I was wondering why is she so freaked out? It was abdication of their brand, their legitimacy that day. It's a TV show; it's a great TV show. They have fun talk together. They can't ask for a debate anymore after that debacle.

O'REILLY: No, and they won't get one either but it's a good thought for them and it draws some publicity and whatever.

O'REILLY: All right, Kim Kardashian.

MILLER: And, Billy, these debates -- these debates are freak shows anyway. You know what we need is a "12 Angry Men" debate.

O'REILLY: Yes, I -- well, it's going to be, the next is going to be NCIS the debate, I mean, that's what it's going to be.

MILLER: Yes, or give one to the Kardashians. Let the Kardashians host the debate at this point.

O'REILLY: There you go. Thank you for the segue. All right, now, she's married, what, for 15 minutes. She cashed the check…


O'REILLY: …that she got from all the entertainment people and now she doesn't like the guy anymore, right?

MILLER: Well, last night after her brother Rob Kardashian had such a great thing on "Dancing With the Stars," he said everyone in the Kardashian family is supportive of Kim's decision to divorce the -- the kid -- Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets and if you want to find out more about it watch this Thursday for the premiere of our new show. Everyone in the Kardashian family is supportive of Kim's decision to divorce Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets.


MILLER: So, these people are like charming grifters. They've been plunked down in a perfect time in history where they know we're an off the rack culture that likes to ogle the train wreck and, in this case, that train has the biggest caboose of all time.

O'REILLY: I don't know what that means. Dennis Miller, everybody.

MILLER: All right, Billy.

O'REILLY: We'd like to remind everyone in the Virginia-North Carolina area that Miller and I will be at the Landmark Theater in Richmond Friday, November 25. It's going to be a great show, classic venue, so let's have a great Thanksgiving weekend, fun time. You can check it out on or

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