Congress finally passes coronavirus stimulus package

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Congress finally passes coronavirus stimulus package

Lawmakers struggle to put politics aside in favor of humanity.

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," March 28, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: So, how are we holding up? Everyone, good?

As you could probably tell, this isn't our normal studio nor is this my normal hair. Yes, I have to do my own hair and makeup now, which is why I look like a mid-80s coke dealer from South Beach, Miami. If you need anything, call me later.

But enough about me. I worry about you out there, what you're doing, if you're all right, because it's getting weird, but that's okay.

We can hold this country together with or without the media's help. And believe me, they aren't helping much if at all.

But the good news, at least we can unite together over one thing that this flame jackass sucks.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE SCARBOROUGH, MSNBC ANALYST: It seems that Republicans now are making the argument let the World War II vets die, let the Korean War vets die. Let the Vietnam vets die. Let everybody in that generation die because we're worried about Boeing.

It is the born. It is the weakest among us. It is senior citizens who they're ready to euthanize because they want Boeing's corporate earnings to not dip too low.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, I'm not allowed to swear, because we don't have a lot of editors tonight. But anyway, when President Trump expresses an adult concern about flattening a curve without thoroughly devastating an economy, this preening bucket of farts accuses Republicans of killing vets.

It's probably pointless to say how useless Joe is, but in this crisis, he has nothing but the monotony of his own voice which drips with thirsty bile, and his cohort isn't much better.

But he wasn't the only idiot saying Trump wants people dead.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: He's a fan of money first, mortality second. The greatest generation, they are going to be sacrificed. For what? Fear that Trumps efforts to be President will be hurt.

JIM ACOSTA, CNN CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: He is going too fast, causing confusion and quite possibly endangering lives in the process.

REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): Stay in and for the President to make light of that as if it's like, well, so what some people will die? But the economy will grow. No.

YAMICHE ALCINDOR, MSNBC ANALYST: The President who is eager to try to get the economy back on track because he sees it as wedded to his chances of being reelected.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The President is putting human life at risk. It's literally immoral.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I haven't seen that many dumbbells since they closed my gym. The media delights in only having two sides to an issue that way they can count them on one claw.

It's the person of two ideas, either you want the economy to return or people to die, which leads this ace reporter to ask this question at a briefing.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: How many deaths are acceptable?

DONALD TRUMP (R), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Yes. How many? None. Okay. How many deaths are acceptable to me? None.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That is what smart people would call an idiotic question. But consider the source. It's exactly the kind of question you'd expect from a media who sees themselves as the protagonist in every issue, and you always the bad guy.

But don't for a minute think that I'm downplaying the potential of this pandemic. It was two months ago to this day that I said this on "The Five."

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: McDonald's is closing stores in China. Tibet is closing their border and traffic. Infections are doubling like every six days and we're sitting here and we're like, well, you know what, it's not the flu. So well, you know what, it's in the early stages.

The scientists that are mapping this virus are super worried, right? They're there. They're watching these epicenters spread into all over Mainland China. And why is that? Because of the transit links, transportation. It is all about where people are going these days, and it's coming here unless we stop it.

So I do think we should consider a temporary travel ban because if we're telling citizens not to go there, why are we telling them, they can't come here? I don't understand.

Doesn't that seem like a stupid suggestion?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: January 28th. So what was today's concerned media saying back then? I could say safely -- nothing. They were still gagging over impeachment.

Media mirror has networks justifying not carrying the daily coronavirus briefings because you know, Trump happens to be in them. He is President, but since he's not their guy, it's not that important.

So what is? Did you hear Meghan won't let Prince Harry visit his dad? Yes, CNN covered that as they whined about having to cover an emergency briefing.

But so many things don't fit inside the media's narrative. For example, they see no importance in finding out the specific names of those special creeps who slipped elitist crap into the relief package. Why?

They haven't yet bothered to investigate how the Chinese covered up their outbreak causing a delay in information that caused this. The press lauded the Chinese for their quick government response.

The media happily confused a potentially life-saving drug with a toxic chemical used in fish tanks. They all tweeted about it giddy at the thought that Trump touting a drug actually used by doctors might have killed some guy who swallowed poison because he was careless.

But that story was false. The guy didn't take the drug Trump touted. He took fish tank cleaner.

So why all these mistakes? Because they're too distracted, trying to gin up a rift between Fauci and Trump.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: Where is Dr. Fauci today? Where is Dr. Fauci right now? Why is not in this briefing --

TRUMP: I was just with him for a long time.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, maybe it's me, but I'm starting to think the media has its collective heads up their collective asses, and it's all fueled by bias.

So they'll push a fantasy rift that could harm the country rather than see the obvious. It is two guys seeking the same outcome. That's how it works. You cooperate and play well with others.

Meanwhile, the public approves the handling of this once in a lifetime crisis, perhaps because they're smarter than the journalists who love to deceive them.

The public understands that you weigh costs and benefits with every decision and that sooner or later, we will go back to work even when some risk is present, because you can't eliminate it entirely.

But there will be groups of people in some places who can go back to work while others won't. The economy will reboot in phases. Trump gets that and so do you.

But the media can't because if they did, they wouldn't be able to yell, but people will die. It's so fundamentally stupid. It's right up Alec Baldwin's alley.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ALEC BALDWIN, ACTOR, IMPERSONATING DONALD TRUMP: Listen, okay, everybody knows that people are going to die. Okay. Some people are going to die. That's just as accepted. Okay.

As long as I don't die, and you don't die, my fellow Republican contributors, we should get the country back to work.

QUESTION: And let me ask you one last question, President Trump, are you doing a great job?

BALDWIN: I would give myself a 10 out of 10.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, pretty edgy material here. So lucky for the media, they may get there apocalypse. 3.28 million filed for unemployment last week, the highest number since we started tracking it in 1967. That's the cost of the shutdown.

Adults know this and realize that the jobs will come back, but it can't go on forever. Because the price of unemployment isn't just financial, it leads to psychological, emotional and physical consequences. That's why it's an adult problem.

You need to fight a pandemic without creating permanent damage. Of course, the media will report on these job numbers as if it was Trump's fault. And it's as if they knew it was coming, and were warning about it, forgetting that it was Trump who was on it before they were.

Just like how they forget who was first concerned about China way back when? Oh yes, that was Trump, too, and again what occupied the media's time as this pandemic first spread? Yes, while the disease was bubbling up, they were frothing over impeachment hearings.

But what if they hadn't? What if they had they been looking out for you? Would they have seen this crisis coming?

Look, I've got no doubt we will exit this dark period stronger and better than before. Jobs will return. The economy will roar back. The truth will come out and we will have saved many lives, and the only sickness that lingers, the one that seems impervious to drugs is the media's own incurable bias.

That's to keep your distance permanently.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. They call him Baker because he always has hot buns. Former C.I.A. operative and host of "Black Files" declassified which premieres Thursday on Science Channel, Mike Baker.

He's got G.I. Joe's heart And Robocop's legs. Retired U.S. Marine Corps bomb technician and Fox News contributor Joey Jones.

He's squeaky clean, but secretly mean. Host of "The Quiz Show" on Fox nation Tom Shillue.

She's small, on call and ready to brawl. Host of "Sincerely, Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.

All right. This is like a really twisted version of The Brady Bunch. I guess we'll start with you, Mike. Mike, you're out in Idaho.

MIKE BAKER, FORMER C.I.A. OPERATIVE: Yes, that's true.

GUTFELD: How is it going out there? What are your thoughts on restarting the economy?

BAKER: Well, look, I agree with everything you've said in your monologue.

GUTFELD: Let's end there.

BAKER: Which doesn't happen that often. But look, here's the thing, the fact that -- the fact that the, you know, the same media that has spent the past three and a half years.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: Right? Complaining that Trump is the bringer of all peril to this country and he is going to destroy the world.

The fact that somehow now in a public health crisis, they would become objective, and would consider the public good and set aside their own, you know, failure to take off their resistance goggles is nonsense. It's not going to happen.

But all he was saying was we can deal with a couple of crisis at the same time.

GUTFELD: Right.

BAKER: We can deal with the public health crisis. And we can also deal with the impending economic crisis, which is already in a sense upon us.

And if Obama or any other, you know, President that was to the liking of the media had said that they would have all said, oh, you know, what a measured, you know, clever stance the President is taking.

So this is no surprise. It's just unfortunate.

GUTFELD: Okay, Mike, I just have one follow up question. Where the hell are you? Why is there like a single twin bed? Who are you torturing in Idaho?

[LAUGHTER]

BAKER: Well, okay, well, certainly, yes, certainly the bunker does serve multiple purposes, but right now it's my public health crisis bunker.

And you know, I've got a single bed because I'm social distancing from my wife and children during the course of this. They've got their own bunkers. They've got plenty of supplies. We're all good out here.

GUTFELD: All right, I think, Tom, I think Mike has a bomb shelter that he's not sharing with us. Tom, how do you think the media has handled this crisis?

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: This is my bunker, by the way. I haven't left work, Greg. I'm still here. I'm the only one here.

But I think you've been very lucid on this, Greg, if I can use that word.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: You been talking about the -- but it doesn't have to be either or, but it seems the media is treating it that way.

And if you actually look at the statements that the President has made, they are similar statements that Governor Cuomo has made. Governor Cuomo says we're not going to have to do this forever. Eventually we're going to have to go back to work.

So the President says it and everybody acts crazy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: "The New York Times" -- were articles by a couple of liberals, Thomas Friedman was one of them, but there were two articles in "The New York Times" before the President ever said any of this and it said, you know, we're going to have to weigh the cost of the economy against fighting the virus.

Thomas Friedman wrote that and nobody freaked out.

GUTFELD: Right.

SHILLUE: The President said it and they all went crazy.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's so true. Joey, how are people in -- you're in Georgia, how are you dealing with this crisis?

JOHNNY "JOEY" JONES, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I am.

GUTFELD: What's the -- what's your perspective?

JONES: Listen, I've got a freezer full of meat. I'm dealing with this crisis. I've been preparing for it for 10 years.

You know, I've got a room full of guns, a freezer full of meat. But no, what is disturbing to me about this is that people say, well, if you open up, say, Iowa, then somebody from New York is going to fly to Iowa and all of a sudden there's going to be coronavirus there.

What people don't understand is there's already coronavirus in a cornfield in Iowa. It's just that when people don't live on top of each other, they don't naturally spread it by living their lives.

And so that's what Trump is trying to say. He is trying to say the spread is because of the density of population, which is so funny because Andrew Cuomo is getting accolades by the millions every day by going on and doing story time and saying exactly that.

And so if an Obama-style politician said it, yes, they would applaud because they do every day for two hours when Andrew Cuomo takes the mic.

GUTFELD: Yes.

JONES: You know, if we run a marathon at mile 15, you set that marker not because you're done because your toughest miles are ahead of you. But because if you don't set markers, and something to look forward to, you have no hope and you don't get finished.

Trump says Easter because that's something we can all look forward to. There's a vacuum of hope. And they want to suck it right back out as soon as he puts it in there.

GUTFELD: Yes, you can have deadlines and they could be flexible. And I think that's why Fauci is the good cop. No, no, Trump is the good cop. Fauci is the bad cop.

They're the parents in this, but they both want the same thing, Kat, they want you to live a healthy life, and I do, too.

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I want people to live healthy lives, but I think that a lot of people in the media just like you said, they are relishing on how bad things are and things are bad. That's just a fact.

I mean, people say oh, it's not so hard just to stay home and I love staying home and I'm kind of having a hard time with this. But something that's made it easier for me is to actually -- I can't believe I'm saying this but actually try to stay a little positive, a little grateful for some of the good things.

I mean -- and it helped because, we got a puppy, his name is Carl, and nothing gets him down. He's too young to have been broken by the world.

So for example, yesterday, just, one example he took a dump on the floor and he stepped in it, right? If I would have done that, it would have ruined my day.

GUTFELD: That's true.

TIMPF: You know, I would have a terrible day, not Carl. He was just wagging all around. Look how cute I am. So we should all try to be more like that. Not the dumping on the floor necessarily.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's not a good point.

TIMPF: But just being grateful and kind of just you know, remembering how wonderful how cute we all are.

GUTFELD: Well, I think we should stop on that note.

BAKER: I am confused, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: I was just confused. Is what Kat saying is that she is too nimble to take a dump on the floor and then step in it?

GUTFELD: I have no idea.

BAKER: Or if the dog had taken a dump on the floor -- I was confused.

GUTFELD: You know what, Mike, I'm going to stop that right now. Because I don't want any more dump talk. All right, don't touch anything, especially after Mike has talking about it. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: They would rather beef than pass the relief. It took all week but Congress finally passed a $2 trillion Emergency Relief Package to help the nation economically and quite literally heal. Why did it take a week?

Because politicians can't turn off the politician in them and turn on the human. They've gotten -- they have got to throw in their own causes. Mitch McConnell accused Dems of having a wish list. And on CNN for once, Nancy Pelosi had an answer to that.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DANA BASH, CNN CHIEF POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT: For example, they say that you asked for imposing new emission standards and carbon offsets on airlines, which is something that is in the Democratic wheelhouse. It is something that you would want in a perfect world, but not appropriate today. What's your response?

REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): Well, I do think that there is a whole concern in our country that if we're giving tens of billions of dollars to the airlines that we could at least have a shared value about what their -- what happens to the environment.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh, my God. I don't have any words. Well, I do but they begin with F and BS. The good news -- individuals and families based on income will be getting some money, unemployment insurance for four months. Hospitals and local governments will get funds for health equipment.

But New York says it's not enough.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. ANDREW CUOMO (D-NY): It gives us $3.8 billion. The hole is as big as - - as high as $15 billion. How do you plug a $15 billion hole with $3.8 billion? You don't.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: And yet the bill provides hundreds of millions for the National Endowment for the Arts, museums and libraries, The Kennedy Center, the Smithsonian.

Now look, I love Archie Bunker's chair and Fonzi's jacket as much as the next person, but an emergency stimulus package should be just that -- for the emergency, to save lives, not chairs.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: All right, Kat, you're a libertarian.

TIMPF: I knew you were coming to me. I heard you going off on us on "The Five."

GUTFELD: You know what? Because I know it hurts to do this, but sometimes you've got to -- you've got to let -- you can't be perfect all the time.

TIMPF: Oh, I can.

GUTFELD: Yes, you can.

TIMPF: Yes. I think you focused a lot on division just now.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And there actually has been one thing that Republicans and Democrats seem to agree on, and that's the good news.

The bad news is that thing is corporate welfare. I understand that people need help. I understand that people -- the government is saying you can't go to work, and no one could have expected this and have been able to prepare for this. I completely get that people need help.

However, what I don't like about not just this bill, but any bill like this, is it is essentially the government picking winners and losers.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And then we have to pay for the winners to win. And I just generally don't like my money being spent without, you know, my opinion being involved.

GUTFELD: Well, you know, they could have bought you another dog that doesn't poop. Tom --

TIMPF: Dogs need to poop.

GUTFELD: Yes, they do. Tom, are you excited that money went to the Kennedy Center or they were trying to give them -- I mean, why is the Kennedy Center so important? I know it's named after a great President. But I feel like it's a place where elitist D.C. go to be seen in tuxedos.

SHILLUE: Yes.

TIMPF: They're picking winners, that's what I mean.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: Yes. The thing that amazed me most about this was how President Trump was not -- he was kind of even handed on this thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: I think everybody was surprised. I certainly was surprised that they were able to get this done even this week, I mean, it took several days, and that you know, people were dragging their feet.

But the fact that they got anything done, it kind of surprised me. And the thing that was amazing was while we were waiting for them to stop dickering around and pass the bill, President Trump was pretty even handed. He didn't attack Nancy Pelosi. He didn't attack his favorite people.

He said, oh, they'll work it out. So somehow President Trump gave the legislators room to do what they do.

Now obviously, there's going to be tons of wasted money, but there's tons of wasted money when we're not in a national emergency.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Exactly. You know, Joey, I think the thing that amazes me is that politicians are so used to being politicians that they forget that they shouldn't be a politician in a time of urgency.

Politicians, actually -- politics prevents war, because you argue things out, but in this case, it becomes an obstacle.

JONES: You know, I spoke daily with some of the Republican policy writers, members and staff, and when Pelosi sent this bill over, they were flabbergasted. They truly did not know how to respond.

The original bill that Nancy Pelosi sent was basically some poor intern, the poor fella or lady that had to go to work that day, copy pasting the Green New Deal from AOC's website into a Word document for Nancy to send over.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

JONES: That's what this was. And what it is, is she is looking at the political scorecard saying, you know, Trump isn't going to lose because of a crisis he didn't create. What else do we have for winning? Nothing.

Because the coronavirus -- all the coronavirus in the world doesn't bring back dead terrorists and all the coronavirus in the world doesn't make our borders weaker. It's actually going to make them stronger.

And all the coronavirus in the world doesn't, you know, deter the American spirit of, hey, if we invest and gamble in this economy, it will pay us back, which is what Trump came into office and showed us.

So all those wins are still there. The economy isn't all he has to run on. The economy was a symptom of all the other things that got better, and I think she is starting to understand that knowing if she doesn't get a win here and there, the AOCs of the world are going to turn their back on her.

GUTFELD: Yes. Mike, you know a lot about big packages. What do you make of this big relief package?

BAKER: Yes, well, as usual, it's not as impressive as it first appears to be. Well, you, anybody, again, who looks at this process and watches the Democrats and the republicans do this effort. In the case of this, this crisis that we're dealing with, and a surprise that the dysfunctionality again, I don't know where they've been.

Because this is how Washington, D.C. operates.

GUTFELD: Operates, right.

BAKER: You could have -- you could have sat down the leaders and said, six priorities. We need six actionable items. And you listed out a few of them earlier in the show.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: You know, the moratorium on mortgage payments and evictions or whatever, you know, penalties.

GUTFELD: Get to the point, Mike.

BAKER: A payroll tax. You know what, I am, hey, wait a second, now, you gave your other guests at least 20 minutes by my count.

So here's the thing. Here's the thing. You know, I forgot what I was talking about just now, but I do want to circle back to Governor Cuomo.

TIMPF: But he is going to keep going.

BAKER: Just for a second.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: Humor me just for this second, humor me for a second. Governor Cuomo was very competent in his own way -- complimentary of President Trump early stages of this thing.

GUTFELD: Right.

BAKER: I think at a certain point, he realized he's got an advantage here in terms of politics. He started hearing people talk about it. Well, Governor Cuomo -- America's Governor.

GUTFELD: That's the next segment.

BAKER: And suddenly, he decided let's get on the attack.

GUTFELD: That's the next segment?

GUTFELD: That's the next segment. Mike, you -- all right. Don't go anywhere. Lots more show to come.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

JACKIE IBANEZ, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: Live from "America's News Headquarters," with several new developments in the coronavirus pandemic, I'm Jackie Ibanez.

President Trump has backed off a proposal to quarantine New York, New Jersey and parts of Connecticut for two weeks.

Instead, the C.D.C. issued a strong travel advisory. This as cases in the U.S. surged to nearly 123,000 with more than 2,000 deaths.

But states are concerned about the influx of New Yorkers. In Rhode Island today, the National Guard went door to door warning people from the state that they must self-quarantine for 14 days.

And an infant from Illinois has died from COVID-19. This is the first known infant deaths from the virus here in the U.S. It's unclear if the baby had other health issues.

As cases spread around the world, only a small number of the victims have been children. I'm Jackie Ibanez, now back to THE GREG GUTFELD SHOW. For all your headlines, log on to foxnews.com.

GUTFELD: Is it Sleepy Joe? Or a Cuomo? So Biden is back -- barely. And boy, is he uninspiring. First, he went on something called "The View" this week to assert he is not blaming Trump for the spread of the coronavirus.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: That's why, if you notice on, what I've been doing, I've not been criticizing the President but I've been pointing now where there's disagreement is to how to proceed.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Right. Around the same time as people release this ad, blaming Trump.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Donald Trump didn't create the coronavirus, but he is the one who called hoax, who eliminated the pandemic response team and who let the virus spread unchecked across America.

Crisis comes to every President, this one failed.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Pile of lies. So much like his hands, Joe's message is all over the place. But even with straightforward stuff this weekend he struggled like when asked about when businesses should reopen in the future.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: Are you at all concerned as Trump said that we cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself?

BIDEN: We have to take care of the cure. That will make the problem worse no matter what. No matter what. We know what has to be done.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: What was that? That was more confusing than a who's-on-first routine. Anyway, so "The Washington Post" says that some Dems have told Joe privately that he must improve, and apparently some are openly talking up New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as a Plan B.

Cuomo's profile has risen during the pandemic, but it would take a brokered Democratic National Convention to hand Cuomo the nomination, which is unlikely.

But stranger things have happened like when my cat taught that pole dancing class.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: That was one hell of a night. Tom, I think it's hilarious. Obviously, you do probably one of the best impressions of Joe Biden out there. Joe's camp wanted him to be compared to Donald Trump, but instead, they're comparing him to a Democrat who is more competent and smarter than Joe -- Cuomo -- which is not what he wants.

SHILLUE: Yes. I think some Democrats, they really do want Cuomo to come to the rescue because they think Joe is not a strong enough candidate, but I don't think most of the Democratic leadership and the Democratic Party they don't want all that talk because it just shows how weak Joe is.

But I feel bad for Joe Biden. He's a touchy feely guy, Greg. He is home in his home studio. He can't talk to someone unless he is smelling their hair and everything.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SHILLUE: He doesn't have it in there.

GUTFELD: Self-distancing for him is like -- it's like starving a person. That is his nutrient -- to touch. That's his vitamin, vitamin T-- touch, or vitamin F for fondle.

SHILLUE: He touches himself now, Greg, watch the interviews. He can't touch other people. So he touches himself during the interview.

GUTFELD: Joey, if you're managing Biden's campaign, any advice?

JONES: Listen, if I'm a Democratic donor that's written this six figure check to any of these, you know, Buttigieg, Booker, Beto, any of the B squad that they have out there, much less than Biden and I sit down and watch one of these Cuomo pressers, I'm pulling my hair out. I want my money back.

I mean, what? That's the best you had, and this is the people you went with, like, where was the-disconnect there?

Now, I don't live in New York. I don't know everything about Cuomo, maybe this is his only shining moment. But to watch those pressers and see that they are someone within the Democratic Party that's coherent, that shows a thread of leadership; that can win people from the other side of the aisle over? Who thought anyone in the Democratic Party existed with those traits.

And I guess he's up there in New York, just enjoying, you know, hot tax rates. I don't know.

GUTFELD: Mike, he is making a good point that anything compared to Biden, somebody who can -- coherent sentences and not forget where he was is considered a vast improvement.

BAKER: Oh, no, absolutely. Look, the D.N.C. and, you know, the vast majority of the Democratic establishment aren't excited about Biden as the nominee. I think that that's been fairly clear.

You know, and they spent some time before this crisis, really came upon us trying to figure out how to minimize his time, right? They wanted to minimize the opportunities for gaffes, and they just didn't ever came up with the idea of putting him in a bunker because it didn't seem appropriate at the time.

But now, I think that the problem is, not only is he you know, off the radar, but you've also every day got, you know, President Trump with an opportunity, whether he uses it or not, is sometimes debatable, to act presidential, and get on TV and show leadership.

This is the worst, you know, situation that the Democrats could have imagined that at the time.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, and it's funny, it's like --

BAKER: It's very succinct.

GUTFELD: Yes, I was going to say it's like, managing Biden now, it's like managing you on a show. You have to like, you never know where it's going to go. And if he answers the actual question.

All right, Kat, finish this off.

BAKER: Just during the break -- during the break, I unfortunately took a dump on the floor and stepped in it. I think I'm okay now.

GUTFELD: All right. All right, Kat. Should the Dems go to Plan B with Cuomo?

TIMPF: I think that something that Cuomo is doing well is he is handling this without getting too politick-y even though he is a politician.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Politics has changed for everyone, because we're all still thinking about the election sort of in terms of we're thinking what's going to happen to our country.

But the way we think about these things is different now. I think about the election. And I'm like, whoa, voting, I'm going to go out and be in a line with other people? And then my mind like stops there for a little bit, which isn't something that I would have ever thought about before.

So I'm not spending a lot of time thinking about Joe Biden. People aren't thinking, I think most Americans about politics in the same way as they used to each you know -- each little word, oh, got you there, got you there, because our whole lives have changed and viewing things through a different lens now.

GUTFELD: Yes. Now instead of Joe Biden, you're just biding your time. Well, on that note, thank you very much. Don't move unless you're washing your hands. We've got more.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Are you ready to drink kerosene after this quarantine? As we finish up the second week of the shutdown, we're all coping with the isolation in different ways.

One guy in France even ran a marathon on his balcony, and not because of the virus, it's just because he's French.

Meanwhile, couplings are dissolving faster than Alka-Seltzer and a hard rain. New York City divorce lawyers say they've seen a 50 percent spike in potential clients seeking representation probably because we're all becoming fat lazy pigs.

Yes, many on social media report the boredom and stress of the lockdown has been eating round the clock or the clock.

I've been there. I eat my feelings, too. Here's me when I found out Kilmeade ghosted me.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: The girl has got to eat. Joey, how's the quarantine going for you? You exercising? You eating?

JONES: Listen. You know -- yes, I'm eating a lot and I'm enjoying every moment of it. I've got some weight equipment here. I've got a woodshop. I am literally walking around my house with a tape measure and a square going, man, that wall looks a little off, let me tear it down and rebuild it. I'm getting -- I'm getting a lot done.

But you know, the one thing I will say is that I hope this instills some self-reliance in people and be like, you know, I can -- I can hang my own light fixture or maybe you know clean my house or do things that I don't normally do or pay someone else to do.

I will tell you though, I need a barber and I'm so ready to sit down and have someone bring me a plate of food without having to lift a finger, so those two things I'm ready for.

GUTFELD: Yes, believe me, I need a barber, too. I'm not cutting my own hair. I already I swear to God, I look like Bobby Vinton from you know 1965 World's Fair. I'm not even sure if there was a World's Fair in 1965.

You know, Tom. I was wondering, do you have -- in 1964, thank you.

Tom, Are you sick of your kids yet? Or are your kids sick of you?

SHILLUE: I don't think they're sick of me, Greg. We're having a good time at home. We're doing everything that they say.

We're keeping our -- well, the family isn't keeping their distance from the family. But when we go out for walks every day, we stay away from the neighbors. We wave to them. The neighbors are very nice to us.

We're playing a lot of board games. Board games are fun, Greg.

GUTFELD: Not they're not the ones you play.

SHILLUE: Oh, I'm playing the classics. Monopoly, Pay Day. The Game of Life, Greg.

GUTFELD: Hate them all. You know what, I'm a backgammon guy. Backgammon is the best game because it lasts like 20 minutes, right? I'm trying to remember how to play double backgammon.

But backgammon, you can play 30 games in a row and you never get sick of it. Speaking of getting sick of things, Kat, how are you dealing with your -- you're living with your boyfriend, who you just kind of like moved in with, so you're learning all this weird stuff. And you've got a dog and a cat.

TIMPF: Yes. Well, things are going really well. Except the cat wants to eat the puppy.

GUTFELD: Oh, interesting.

TIMPF: Yes, like he wants to murder him. But other than that, things are going pretty well. He -- my boyfriend does do the exercising in the apartment sometimes, which bothers me and I keep telling him it's mean, right? Because I'm sitting on the couch for like hour 14 in penguin pajama pants with crumbs on them and he's over there, you know, doing pushups.

I'm like, you might as well just yell at me and tell me -- you're just telling me you're better than I am to my face. So other than that, things are going surprisingly well.

I mean, I boiled water the other day.

GUTFELD: Oh, fantastic.

TIMPF: He did the rest of this stuff, but I boiled it myself without even Googling. So I'm just becoming a grown woman in a pandemic. I'm you know --

GUTFELD: Maybe that's the title of your memoir, A Grown Woman In a Pandemic.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know, Mike, I imagine you're spending a lot of time in that little like the hellhole of yours. Have you been developing any phantom symptoms?

I at home am constantly thinking I'm coming down with the coronavirus. And yet, I'm fine. I don't know.

BAKER: Well, it's funny you mentioned that because I've heard from some friends I didn't realize we are hypochondriacs, but I get text messages from them saying I'm a little bit worried, I've got -- you know, I've got this. And I say, just calm down. Everybody just calm down.

Although to be truthful, my boys every day take my temperature because they say I'm squarely in that target demo for the corona.

GUTFELD: Right.

BAKER: But look, we've got -- you know, I agree with Joey, the self- sufficiency. I think if this teaches everybody one lesson as we all move out of this, which we will is the idea that a little bit more self- sufficiency, a little bit more community, helping each other out, we've got elderly neighbors, it's nice to think that people can help them out.

And so you know, we've got -- to think about Idaho, we can kick the kids outside. They're up in the foothills. They see nobody else for hours at a time. You can go fishing, you know 10 minutes away.

GUTFELD: Kill an elk.

BAKER: There's nobody else.

GUTFELD: Strangle a snake.

BAKER: I've been sending meat to Joey for the past couple of years that's why he's got a freezer full of meat.

GUTFELD: Sharing the meat. That's what we love about you, Mike.

BAKER: Share the meat. That's what we do.

GUTFELD: All right. Yes, I like those computers in the background, too. What is it? 1983? All right, we're not going anywhere. So should you. Stay. That made no sense and I don't care.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Are we better or more bitter thanks to Facebook and Twitter? Social media is either going to be an unsung hero in all of this or a foe. Used the wrong way, it could spread fear, panic false information, but used correctly, social media can help us all.

We've seen medical staffs telling the world they need supplies, and that spurs government into action. You know, you raise a stink on Twitter and people move faster than a burrito through my intestines.

It helps us check in on our loved ones we can't visit right now or don't want to.

And let's not forget those videos of Italians singing from their balconies. We wouldn't have that without social media.

I hope that becomes a reality show. Italy has got balcony talent.

And then there are the things out there that nobody asked for. And nobody needs to see, like my dog after he broke up with his girlfriend.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Poor thing. Poor thing.

TIMPF: Been there.

GUTFELD: Yes. I know you have. All right, Mike, I try to keep it succinct. I think that Twitter -- Twitter is like the universal brain that all freaks out at once, and then if it sees something that gets angry, then it points at that. It's kind of like, you know what it is? It's like -- it's the female and the stock market is the male. They both are like brains that freak out. Does that make any sense?

BAKER: No.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

BAKER: You know, I'll move on. Yes. Look, this is -- there's the up and the down, the good and the bad of social media. Right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: I think if it's used properly, it's a great way to spread appropriate correct proper information. The problem is, the downside is, it's an extremely effective way to spread misinformation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BAKER: And propaganda that suits one side or the other -- whatever case it may be. And the problem also is that the American public seems to be willing to be gullible at any given moment and believe anything they read as long as it mirrors or agrees with their particular opinion.

So look, I'm not one of those people that says, oh, just shut down social media because it's a horrible place and it's a cesspool, but yes, part of it is, but it is undoubtedly in a situation like this, where people are self-isolating or in a lockdown. It allows for some sense of community.

The problem is you've just got to stop believing everything you read on Twitter.

GUTFELD: Alright, Gramps.

BAKER: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Kat, you have not changed your tweeting at all during this pandemic. It's getting sillier and sillier.

TIMPF: See, I don't want to be dramatic, Greg. But I will say that if it were not for social media and all of that technology, I would have been dead last Wednesday. Okay.

Because I know it's important to social distance, but I also want to play with my friends.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And with the FaceTime and the video chat, I can kind of do that. How else would I do that? Like a carrier pigeon? Where do you find one of those because New York overrun with pigeons and yet I've never seen a single one with any marketable skills.

Now, I was thinking about that today. They've really fallen as a species. They were like military heroes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: You know, like delivering messages in World War I and II saving lives. Now, they just fight over bread and get hit by cars.

GUTFELD: I know.

TIMPF: Something to think about, but again, I'm talking about pigeons. So maybe it's someone else's turn now.

GUTFELD: All right, you know what, Tom, what's interesting about social media or Twitter, it's controlling the government. It is controlling everything.

Because if something explodes on Twitter, people react immediately.

SHILLUE: Well, I mean, I think the negatives outweigh the positives. I don't see people getting a lot of good feelings from social media.

TIMPF: Boo. You just told me to die.

SHILLUE: I'm saying, Kat, I don't think there's -- you can find things to do. You've got the dog you can play with.

You go on Facebook and you realize your friends have some pretty weird ideas about the world.

GUTFELD: Yes, true.

SHILLUE: And I just think it is -- pick one print source that you trust, I like "The Wall Street Journal" in the morning.

GUTFELD: Of course, you do.

SHILLUE: Of course, I work here at Fox, so I tune in to the good programming here at Fox, but I don't like to saturate myself with media and I do not -- I am not using social media during this time. I can't stand it. I don't like all the yelling. It's ridiculous.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know, Tom. You stick to the any -- Ron Paul newsletter. Yes, you do. You keep --

SHILLUE: The old fashioned.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Last word, Joey, plus or minus in social media?

JONES: Well, it depends on what social media you go on to. If you're going on the Facebook, you find out your mom thinks aliens caused all this. If you go on to Twitter, you've got people trying to learn how to add numbers for the first time like five percent of a hundred is 20.

And then we go on Instagram, it's a bunch of 30-something year old parents learning to do a push up for the first time and making sure you know about it.

I Instagram Lived me painting trim for one of my walls I rebuilt and people watched me watch paint dry, so that tells you how bored people are.

So depending on where you go, there's some fun stuff and I'm the worst, I'm always on social media, so I can't knock it too much.

GUTFELD: I'll tell you, the best thing before we go, the best thing about social media is it reminded everybody that Hillary Clinton is a complete and utter jackass loser for posting that tweet saying Oh, America is number one because we've got a lot of cases. That makes Twitter worth it to remind us what an awful disgusting person she is.

Okay, don't move. Final Thoughts, if we have them, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Mike Baker, Joey Jones, Tom Shillue and Kat Timpf. I'm Greg Gutfeld. And I love you, America.

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