Updated

I'm going on a diet.

If I told you I’m going to cut my weight down, what would you think?

Some of you might say, "About time, Cavuto."

But then again, some of you have the nerve to watch other news networks. So, I’d ignore "that" snide remark.

Many others might just take me at my word, and my goal, that's exactly what I’ll do...cut pounds. Lose weight.

But what if we fell out of contact for, i don't know, ten years...and lo and behold a decade from now we bump into each other...

...but you don't recognize me.

Turns out, I’m as big as a house.

And some of you snide viewers, the ones who said, "About time, Cavuto," immediately pipe up and say, "what the hell happened to you, Cavuto?!! Thought you said you were going to cut some pounds."

And then I say..."I did."

And then you say..."no you didn't. You're at least 50 pounds heavier than the last time we saw you."

And I say, "You’re right."

And then you say, "Huh?"

And I say: "but, if I hadn't curbed the carbs and limited myself to half a box of donuts every day for ten years, rather than my usual full box of Dunkin's, I’d be at least a hundred pounds heavier!!

And you're scratching your head...because as I’m telling you this, I’m eating a jelly donut and I’ve got sugar and something grape running down my chin.

Stupid, right?

Actually, no more stupid...

Than congress saying it plans to cut spending over the same ten years I’m supposedly cutting pounds.

Turns out after a decade...

They'll be even fatter than me!!

..About nine trillion bucks fatter... In debt.

That's how much "more" debt we'll pile on by then, even "if" they get through this ridiculous charade of cutting 1.3 trillion bucks they're aiming to save now.

Because that 1.3 trillion smackers is over 10 years...not each year, not two years, not five years...ten years!!

Let me stress...they're not "cutting" spending. They're not "cutting" anything.

What they're cutting is the "growth" in spending. And like I said, not much at that.

Because even if they get that 1.3 trillion...we'll still have another 9 trillion dollars "more" in debt in the year 2021.

9 trillion "more"...

Than the 15 trillion bucks in debt we have now.

And that's "with" congress cutting.

"With" all this whining.

"With" all this belly-aching and hand-wringing.

Some cutting.

Some diet.

That would be like Jupiter losing one of its 64 confirmed moons, and saying, "Now how do I look?"

Ummm...like a huge planet!!

Fat chance you'd let me get away saying I lost weight when I didn't.

So why do we let Washington say it's cutting...when it's not?