This is a rush transcript from "The Five," March 14, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Hi, I'm Greg Gutfeld with Kennedy, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Lisa Boothe. “The Five.”
So imagine you're home for Thanksgiving and your son brings home a buddy from the dorms for dinner. His friend is real excitable, telling you about a class he took on American imperialism that totally blew his mind. He's so up. You wonder if he got into your medicine cabinet.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There's going to be massive migrations of tens or hundreds of millions of people from countries that are literally un- habitable or under water that are above the sea right now. This is our final chance. The scientists are absolutely unanimous on this that we have no more than 12 years to take incredibly bold action on this crisis.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: He's like a 6-year-old who just snorted a line of pop rocks. I haven't seen that much hand movement since all that jazz. With that gesturing who does he remind you of?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Even the president noticed.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: I think he's got a lot of hand movement. I've never seen so much hand movement. I said is he crazy or is that just the way he acts? So, I've never seen hand movement. I watched him a little while this morning doing, I assume it was some kind of a news conference. And I have actually never seen anything quite like it. Study it. I'm sure you'll agree.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Study it. I'm sure you'll agree. You've got to hand it to him. He says what you're thinking. And I do feel a nickname coming. So Beto announced he's running. This coinciding with a drooling Vanity Fair cover story written by the same suckle bucket who fell for John Edwards. And again, the writer is so smitten he can't even see straight.
The pros isn't just purple, it's pews throbbing with fanning reverence it's what normal people reserve for Valentines. But here it's just more Gourno crap for some guy who Instagram his dentals visits. The media's big narrative Beto is David to Trump's goliath. But anyone who's been alive for more than two seasons of 60 Minutes knows that the giant has always been the media and David has been anyone who doesn't fall in line. Fox News has been David for 20 years.
So you can't say that Beto is David when he has a full force of the goliath behind him. And you can't blame Beto either. It's not his fault Vanity Fair has made him their man crush. Beto is a young white male embraced by a left-wing rag who's hoping to sell perfume ads to cover the stench of their bad writing. Beto claims, I'm just born to do this. How's that for white privilege?
All right, Juan, I think that's racist for what he said. I wanted to beat you to the punch. He said he's born to do that. Is that because he's a white male? You've got to be upset that he's getting all this attention, right?
JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: No. Why?
GUTFELD: I don't know.
WILLIAMS: But tell me why you think that way?
GUTFELD: Because there's all these other credible candidates out there. I mean, Kamala didn't get this rollout.
WILLIAMS: Oh, I think Kamala gets a lot of attention --
WILLIAMS: Yeah. But I think --
WILLIAMS: Kamala, Kamala, I should say. But, anyway, I think that -- in fact, the excitement around him is a lot like Obama's first campaign.
GUTFELD: Fair enough, yeah.
WILLIAMS: People see him as this kind of exciting new hope and change candidate. And at a time when the country is polarized and we want to choke each other, they say, hey, bring this guy on. Now, President Trump talking about hands, why did he do that?
GUTFELD: Everybody saw it.
WILLIAMS: You had a legitimate point. But Trump, given what -- given what people said about his hands, I just think he should have stayed away from the topic.
GUTFELD: It's going to be all about hands from here on in, Kennedy.
KENNEDY, HOST: Yes. It's interesting because I look at all the candidates and I look -- even the candidates, Republican candidates from 2016, and with each of them they inhabit a certain space. And even if you don't agree with them, you understand what the appeal is. And I understand the appeal of Bernie. I've always understood the Bernie appeal. I agree with him on almost nothing. Maybe the surveillance state and possibly criminal justice.
Not only do I not understand the appeal of Beto O'Rourke, as an independent voter, I am so willing to hear anyone's pitch on how you can make my life better. I'm all for it. He doesn't have any specifics at all. And Liz Warren even though she's got god-awful ideas, at least she's brave enough to put some policy positions out there so people can pick them apart. He gives us nothing. He just gives us these blanket phrases that are dripping with Beto sweetness that deliver nothing.
I mean, you talk about, oh, we're at crossroads and this is a crisis and I'm born to do. Like, to do what? What exactly are you proposing?
LISA BOOTHE, HOST: To talk with his hands.
WILLIAMS: I was going to jump here real quick and say -- but I think, Kennedy, we do have an idea of what he stands for.
KENNEDY: What does he stands for? He's going to rip walls now with his bare hands? That doesn't make any sense. He's not going to do that.
WILLIAMS: No, no, I like the optimism as I said. But I think he says yes to the climate change deal, go back into it --
KENNEDY: Anthony Robin should be the next president of optimism if that's what you want.
WILLIAMS: OK. He says let's ban assault weapons.
WILLIAMS: He's all for abortion. He's all for government healthcare.
KENNEDY: He's all for abortion?
WILLIAMS: Yes. He's all for NAFTA.
KENNEDY: That's not good.
WILLIAMS: NAFTA should be --
WILLIAMS: I don't think it's fair to say that he has no position.
BOOTHE: But the promise -- even if you look at things like -- he says he supports the climate change, the green deal, right? But you look at the fact that during the 2018 election he received more money from the fossil fuel industry than any other candidate besides Senator Ted Cruz who's also talking about exporting natural gas to other countries which run contradictory for what the green new deal wants and stand for.
And the problem is you don't hear much about that because he was protected and insulated from the media and the left because he ran against Ted Cruz, which the bulk of the media and also people on the left despise. He's like the number one enemy besides President Trump. So he was protected by them. Part of that protection and attention also led to, you know, mass amounts of money that he was able to raise, 80-something million dollars more than any other candidate.
He's not going to have that in a crowded primary field because he's not going to be the only person on the left that's the recipient of the media's adoration as we've seen with people like Kamala Harris as well. And I don't know how he stands out in a crowded primary field. Like what distinguishes him besides the fact he can skateboard?
KENNEDY: He's a kook, that what you call someone who claims to have mastered a board sport who doesn't know what they're doing. Who has no physical aptitude. He's a kook.
GUTFELD: Jesse, I think John Hickenlooper is more Beto O'Rourke than Beto O'Rourke is. And I don't even know what that means.
JESSE WATTERS, HOST: No one knows what that means.
GUTFELD: Have you thought of nicknames yet?
WATTERS: For Beto?
WATTERS: You had a good one the other day which is kind of --
WATTERS: -- appropriate.
GUTFELD: Maestro because he's like a conductor. Maestro Beto?
WATTERS: I was thinking about the other one. I wanted you to repeat and get in trouble for. No, he does look like a frantic sign language interpreter at a press conference warning about an impending blizzard. You know those crazy people? But it's mesmerizing and you can't stop looking at it. And in a strange way he's likeable although weird. You know he married an heiress.
WATTERS: He has a sweating problem. He over shares. He speaks in platitudes like an empty vessel. But at the same time you understand why people like him because he's young. He can raise a lot of money. He's got charisma with the kids. Now, the media likes him because the media wants to be him. You think about his profile, he went to Columbia. He likes coffee shop.
WATTERS: He feels more comfortable there than at a tailgate.
KENNEDY: Upper middle class.
WATTERS: He listens to podcast. He, obviously, is a huge poetry guy. So that's something they aspire to.
KENNEDY: Is it relatable?
WATTERS: Right. And then when they write about him, well, through the media.
GUTFELD: He's the media.
WATTERS: When they write about him this is how they write, Greg, they say, you know, the Texas wind hit his hair as he leaned in to the food truck and ordered a burrito to give to the homeless veteran playing a broken guitar. It's like they sensationalize the most trivial things about him like he's Jesus.
BOOTHE: But Kennedy has the best nickname.
GUTFELD: I want to get to Chris Matthews who basically, you know, he's no conservative saying pretty much the same thing that you're saying about this recent Vanity Fair.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: By the way, bring back that cover of -- that cover is the best kiss I've seen for a candidate in a long time. I always say the candidate wins who's got the sun in his face who looks like sunny optimistic, not the indoor bureaucrat sitting at some desk somewhere. That's the image you want.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: But it's not the sun in his face, it's the media, you know, kissing his butt. It's not about the sun.
WILLIAMS: Wait a second, he's the outsider. He's the outsider in the Trumpian style, right?
WILLIAMS: He's not a senator. He's not a mayor. He's not a governor.
BOOTHE: Yeah, Juan, let me give Kennedy a compliment. Because you've said this on Outnumbered the other day, his nickname should be Beta.
KENNEDY: Yeah, Beta O'Dork.
WILLIAMS: Hey, hey, she said it here on “The Five” first. She said it on “The Five.”
BOOTHE: Because he does comes across as weak.
BOOTHE: And if he runs in the general election against President Trump who projects strength I don't think that's going to work for Beta.
WILLIAMS: How come he got so much reaction, Lisa? So much reaction from the president? So much reaction --
BOOTHE: Because of people like you, Juan.
GUTFELD: His action is funny. I mean, you cannot deny the hand movement. By the way, I'll got to give a hat tip to red tees for the inflatable man comparison because -- that's perfect. It's either that -- he's a cross between the inflatable man and slender man. I'm not sure what it is.
KENNEDY: He's not the transformational figure that Barack Obama was.
KENNEDY: I'm sorry.
BOOTHE: Barack Obama also didn't have a super crowded primary field either.
GUTFELD: That's true.
KENNEDY: All he had to do was elbow Hillary out of the way.
WILLIAMS: Barack Obama wasn't a favorite.
GUTFELD: Oh, yeah, he was.
WATTERS: It's big disservice to Barack Obama to compare Beto to him.
WILLIAMS: I don't know. I think people also say John F. Kennedy. So, are you guys --
WATTERS: Wow, Juan, you have a big estimation of Beto.
GUTFELD: All right, we've got to move on. Up next, Jussie Smollett back in court today after being charged in an alleged hate crime hoax.
WATTERS: A defiant Jussie Smollett back in court today facing 16 felony charges after allegedly staging a hate crime.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So we're going to need a plea. Let me know if you want me to formally read the indictment. You can have the option to have me read it or you can waive reading. I will need a plea of guilty or not guilty.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Your honor, we waive formal reading of the indictment, and Mr. Smollett enters a plea of not guilty.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Smollett pleading not guilty to those felonies. But remember, police have provided a ton of evidence showing that Smollett paid two brothers to stage the hate crime hoax. Greg, I guess one of the strategies of the defense is to say that this is prosecutorial overreach.
WATTERS: Pile up like 16 felonies because they're angry --
WATTERS: -- because he made them work -- they've made them work so hard for two weeks.
GUTFELD: So what it does is it's puts them in a weird spot because when you're saying prosecutorial overreach you're not saying not guilty.
GUTFELD: You're saying -- you're saying, hey, you did something bad but it wasn't that bad.
GUTFELD: So you've already kind of given away --you know, let this thing play out and he gets due process, which is important. He might be innocent. My feeling is the media is not going to learn anything. Every time you dangle a story in front of the media that matches their assumptions they keep going there. They keep burning their hand on that stove so many times. It's like none. So they don't feel any ouch anymore. It's just completely numb. Here's the thing --
WATTERS: They're like Kavanaugh.
GUTFELD: Here's a prediction. I think that judging by his behavior he might do something really sleazy, which is he's going to pin the blame on the two guys that he hired and he probably promised those guys, you know, money -- not just money but his own celebrity friendship and promises of more work. And then I think just to save his ass he's going to throw it all on them.
WATTERS: And he's back at Empire.
KENNEDY: Yeah. And the producers have said, you know, we're going to let justice play out. We want due process, which is fine.
KENNEDY: If that's one of the rules that we have then we apply to many sides. I don't have a problem with that at all. And they can wait to see if he is, in fact, found guilty in a court of law.
WATTERS: But the cast isn't very happy with him.
KENNEDY: I think, sometimes, big media companies act too quickly, too hastily, they're reacting to the online mob.
KENNEDY: And this is a good case where it's pretty clear that something is amiss here. There's so many facts we've heard so far in this story that don't bode well for Mr. Smollett. But, you know, in the end they may say we don't want to turf the show. He can learn from this. His character is critical to the entire franchise. Therefore, we're going to keep him on board.
WATTERS: And also the defense saying, Juan, they want cameras in the courtroom.
WILLIAMS: This was very interesting to me.
WATTERS: I thought so, too.
WILLIAMS: Because what the lawyer said was we want everyone to see the false evidence that's been pushed upon us, and the fact that our presumption of innocence has been taken away from us in the United States. I'm like, wow. So you think there's something there that can get the court of public opinion back on your side.
KENNEDY: I think they're just trying to raise his profile, Juan.
BOOTHE: Yeah, exactly.
WILLIAMS: Raise his profile? You mean -- when he goes --
GUTFELD: It can't hurt. I don't think it can hurt him at all.
BOOTHE: I am so sick and tired of talking about Jussie Smollett because we're giving him exactly what he wants. All he wants -- he's a D-list actor nobody ever heard of him before this happened. All he does is wants attention. He's allegedly upset because a letter he sent himself, or allegedly sent himself, did not get enough attention which is why he allegedly staged this attack. That's why he wants cameras in the courtroom --
WATTERS: He wants cameras to help raise his profile even more so then he can parlay it into something else after this?
BOOTHE: Yeah. He didn't have to show up today, and choose to show up because he wants the attention. Also, he did that Good Morning America interview. He wanted to do the interview to get an additional 15 minutes of fame. So that's what this is all about in my opinion. I just think he wants attention. He wants infamy and we're giving it to them. I'm tired of talking about it.
WILLIAMS: So here's the other side, Lisa. Somebody --
BOOTHE: There's another side?
WILLIAMS: Somebody who committed such an atrocious crime, if it's true, how does that help him? I just think that it damages his reputation --
WILLIAMS: -- people who will be his fans.
GUTFELD: Think about O.J. Simpson which is far worse, obviously. So I'm not comparing. But that -- the cameras helped him, I believe.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, yeah. But that's -- so, OK. Let's say it goes to a trial. I thought O.J. was guilty. I think probably this guy. But, guess what, the jury didn't agree with me, right? So even if the jury doesn't agree, I notice that the people on the set of Empire, you were talking about this moment ago, Jesse. They don't like what's going on.
WILLIAMS: He's been pushed off at the last two segments of this season's show, like done.
KENNEDY: Yeah. No, he was written off and then the season premier is coming up. And, you know --
WATTERS: And, Kennedy, how will the media play this? If he is convicted here, we're definitely not going to see the same attention as we saw when he first made the allegation. You can almost slowly see this fading out of the media.
KENNEDY: And I don't think it's going to go that far. I don't think it's going to get --
WATTERS: Do you think they're going to cut a deal?
KENNEDY: -- full jury trial. Absolutely. And they're going to -- to keep him out of prison because it's going to be really expensive. If he goes through the entire process --
WATTERS: Do you say he stays out of prison? Do you say he's stays out of prison?
WILLIAMS: By the way, I don't think he has a whole lot of prison time on the charges. The charges are rather small --
KENNEDY: There's just so many of them.
WILLIAMS: There's so many. But I don't think -- I don't think it's going to prison. I think it's guilt. And I think it would damage him and his status as an actor for all time. He would always be seen as that guy.
WATTERS: Prison, no prison?
BOOTHE: I hope so. I also think -- if you're the police how mad are you the fact that this guy is so dumb he writes a check to the two people allegedly part of it. And you're like, you're wasting my time, people are out on the streets getting murdered.
BOOTHE: That was so funny.
GUTFELD: I think the thing that gets me is the celebrity support. You can't hold people accountable for being stupid, but I kind of want to. I mean, I really -- all the people that were lighting the torches, they weren't given any due process. I want him to get due process. And I'm willing to be -- I'm willing to be surprise.
KENNEDY: And people --
GUTFELD: More about Ellen Page than anybody.
KENNEDY: -- without any skepticism at all with whoever. And I hope from this -- and Covington and Kavanaugh, first of all, all of those people should be on Celebrity Big Brother.
KENNEDY: Brett Kavanaugh and Nick Sandmann, they should all should be on Celebrity Big Brother.
WATTERS: All right, is California letting killers off easy after the state's liberal governor puts pause on the death penalty? Details ahead.
WILLIAMS: California kicking off a huge debate about the death penalty. Governor Gavin Newsom signing an executive order putting a moratorium on executions of 737 inmates now on death row. Here's Governor Newsom.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GOV. GAVIN NEWSOM, D-CALIF.: I cannot sign off on executing hundreds and hundreds of human beings knowing, knowing that among them would be innocent human beings. I believe the death penalty is wrong. And I'm exercising my right pursuing to the voters, the will of voters, and the constitution to do that right.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: The governor also calling the death penalty, and here I'm quoting, ineffective, irreversible and immoral. President Trump blasting the move saying, quote, friends and families of the always forgotten victims are not thrilled neither am I.
So in the break, Kennedy and Greg, I guess you're both Californians, so how do you guys feel? You decide who goes first here.
GUTFELD: Well, I believe that the death penalty is the ultimate crime prevention because that person can't commit another crime. However, I would support this if they have an alternative, right? If there was an alternative to the death penalty and it's not life imprisonment because human beings adapt to everything. For example, I could adapt to prison because I like order and discipline.
WATTERS: You would not.
GUTFELD: Yes, I would. The point is --
GUTFELD: The point is you're still a conscious, living human being in prison. And in five years you're going to be wearing that like a comfy sweater. I don't know what there is as punishment that could make the families -- and then you have the families that have to worry about paroles. I know these are death sentences. But, I mean, like, we never know what happens when somebody gets freed because of -- oh, we found out this.
WILLIAMS: OK. But I think you are a person who would generally oppose the idea of government --
WILLIAMS: -- using its power to impose death.
WILLIAMS: So --
KENNEDY: And that's where I tend to rest. And this is one of those issues where I've struggled with it for a long time because the sense of vengeance in me, especially for some of the people in California who are on death row for committing atrocious, horrible, unthinkable acts against people, the vengeful side of me, the one who really seeks justice wants to see these people put to death and have their lives ended as they ended the lives of other innocent people.
However, I don't think it's the role of the state to do that. I don't think the state has the authority to take people's lives. And he's right and -- you know, I don't necessarily agree with him about all the touchy feely stuff. But he is right if there are innocent people, it's not worth taking the risk of killing someone who has not commit the crime -- committed the crime.
WILLIAMS: So, Jesse, we know now that 20 states have abolished the death penalty, four states including California have a moratorium in place. I will point out the critics say that in California there was a vote by the voters to keep the death penalty.
WILLIAMS: On the other hand, they elected someone who is an expressed opponent of the death penalty in Gavin Newsom.
WATTERS: So there was a referendum and voters in California not only wanted to keep it, they wanted to speed up executions. So by thwarting the will of the people there that's a big affront towards the Democratic --
WILLIAMS: But they've elected him.
WATTERS: They elected him but not on that single issue, Juan. On that single issue, the people of California, a liberal state, want people on death row executed faster than they are now. Because, right now, families, victim's families are -- through their tax money paying for these people to eat and to keep, and they like to see justice done because they invite the families to the execution, and mentally that is a big part of closure and healing process.
Now, he's only doing this because he's running for president in 2024. And he wants to protect his left flank against criticism in case he executes a guy where DNA gets him off later and he's exonerated. So -- but you can't be a commander-in-chief if you think I'm not going to kill a thousand terrorists because one of them might be innocent.
If you a lob a missile into a terrorist training camp, you can't worry about civilian casualties, and I think that's where he's wrong. Look at some of the people on death row, Juan. Scott Peterson killed his wife and his son. The grim sleeper murdered nine women and a teenager. And then Charles Ng murdered 11 people. I mean, I can go on and on --
KENNEDY: And 26 people on death row in California have taken their own lives because of the process. I mean, to the point of proposition 66 which is what voters passed in California. The process takes so long and it's so incredibly expensive --
(CROSSTALK) BOOTHE: But it certainly gives President Trump a target as he runs for 2020, when he wants to run again as the law and order candidate because he gets to point to people like Newsome and say you're weak on crime, so as every other Democrat, every Democrat running for 2020 as well.
And then voters didn't just vote in 2016, they actually upheld capital punishment in the State of California 11 times since 1972. But I do find it a little bit ironic that Gavin Newsom immediately took part in assisted suicide of his mother in 2002 when it was actually a felony in the state at the time of California. So I find it a little bit ironic that now he is trying to defend --
WILLIAMS: Well, let me come back --
BOOTHE: -- these people on death row.
GUTFELD: Well, I mean there is a weirdness where and you can go both sides in this that the people that are generally against the death penalty are also pro-abortion.
WILLIAMS: Oh, yes.
GUTFELD: And that's it. And then you could go the other side. The better argument against death penalty. And I don't - perhaps people are making this is that if you examine the brain chemistry of people, they change. So, if you're an 18-year-old or 20-year-old and you do something absolutely heinous, what do you like, but you're not the same person. If you're going to pursue this argument, you've got to pursue it with science. Is that the same person?
WILLIAMS: All right, so Lisa I just want to do the politics for a second, because the politics say that this issue breaks down along partisan lines. 77 percent of Republicans, yes to the death penalty; 65 percent of Democrats, no. The people most likely to support the death penalty, older white males. Heavy on this issue. And then it comes to what Greg was talking about, the same group would say, hey, abortion, we're not killing babies, don't do that.
GUTFELD: Because babies are innocent.
WILLIAMS: But we're going to kill people.
BOOTHE: Well, I think for Gavin Newsom this issue might play well in a state like well actually not even, because as we pointed out in California, voters have upheld this, 11 times since 1972. I don't think it's a good political issue. I don't think it necessarily protects his flank from the left. I don't think it's a good political issue for Gavin Newsom particularly if he wants to run in 2020, 2024 rather.
And I think President Trump running as a law enforcement candidate, law and order candidate does help him. I think it helped him in 2016. I think it'll help him against in 2020 particularly depending on who the Democrat is and if they seem weak on these issues. I also think that's why in the 2018 election, even on the issue of immigration, you had Democrats like the Center for American Progress sending out memos to candidates even in swing districts saying don't touch the issue of sanctuary cities. This is bad for you politically saying that it packs a punch.
So, I think that's why President Trump's positioning for 2020 and I think it's going to help him.
WILLIAMS: Well, I think Kamala Harris, the Senator from California came out in support of Newsom and she is running for President.
MONTGOMERY: And she was for the death penalty when she was Attorney General.
MONTGOMERY: So, she's a big hypocrite on this issue.
WILLIAMS: Well, but she changed obviously.
MONTGOMERY: How convenient for her.
WILLIAMS: Shocking new developments in that college admissions scandal including a 500, I'm right on this billion.
WILLIAMS: Yes, billion-dollar lawsuit. That's next, right here on “The Five.”
MONTGOMERY: With you. College, shocking new developments in the fallout over the massive college admission scandal. Actress Lori Loughlin's daughter was reportedly spending spring break on a USC officials' yacht, while her mom was being charged in court and big lawsuits are now flying. And again, it's just the beginning, including one from a Stanford student and others suing these colleges, all named in the cheating scam. A mother and son are also suing 45 defendants in the alleged scam for a whopping $500 billion. How about that number.
Elizabeth Warren apparently forgot to look in the mirror after her own college controversy. Liz. So, as a parent how much sympathy would you have for these parents who are embroiled in this alleged cheating scandal.
MONTGOMERY: So, Jesse, is that how much sympathy she has or the chance she has in becoming our next President.
WATTERS: As a fake Indian, how much sympathy do you have. No, I mean she really stepped in it there and the irony was lost. You know these people are so not self-aware. I think the best place to find out bad news is a yacht, really softens the walk.
GUTFELD: International waters especially. Another title.
WATTERS: Another. I am going to write that. You know if I get wind that Fox is going to fire me, I'm going to say this, guys, can you give me 24 hours. I'm going to get on a yacht. And then that it's going to soften the blow. I also like--
MONTGOMERY: As long as they can contact you, you're still going to avoid.
WATTERS: I want to know in a very comfortable--
GUTFELD: Rules don't apply out there.
WATTERS: That's true. I also like the fact that it was on a trustee's yacht. I like the term trustee. It's something I aspire to, it combines the air of an ivory tower with the weight of a gold bar. You'd like that one, Greg?
WATTERS: But I have a solution here. I don't want prison time for these people. I just want them to start a scholarship fund for people at USC that are qualified and then that's what they could do. And then for the girl--
WATTERS: I don't want her in trouble either, because she has already been humiliated.
MONTGOMERY: No one at USC needs anything, because they're a bunch of cheating, lying losers. It is maybe the flimsiest college in the land, is it not Greg?
GUTFELD: I agree completely as a Berkeley graduate. OK. I've said it before, but college has become too much of a virtue signal. That's why everybody keeps getting higher and higher degrees. Now, it's easy to regret not having any military service for me to say that because it entails no risk on my part. I'm too old, but I submit that military service is a higher status symbol and a higher cooler virtue signal than going to college.
And I think that if corporations had made it so that you get into the front of the hiring line as opposed to Harvard or Stanford by going and being in the military that would have - it would have such a greater impact and you get more experience. You learn so many things about structure and discipline in the military. Again, I'm saying this is not when you add it and wishes I did.
MONTGOMERY: Stolen valor, little.
GUTFELD: Yes. Stolen valor right now. Well, back in Nam. It was four.
WATTERS: You're right, because if you run for office in this country it's much better if you've served overseas and if you went to an Ivy League university.
MONTGOMERY: You know what, I'm going to break this down with Lisa Boothe, because she's going to understand what I'm laying down here.
BOOTHE: I hope so.
BOOTHE: Not like this.
MONTGOMERY: You will get this completely. So, for some reason, we've placed a four-year degree on this pedestal.
MONTGOMERY: That is, you know you talk about flimsy. It is unsustainable the amount of debt that we've got in this country. The amount of college debt and young people can't get married, they can't buy houses because they're saddled with it and it creates an economic immobility.
What we need are plumbers and contractors and welders. If the welder's consortium was a little bit smarter and they had an Instagram account with hot welders. Don't you think that by creating shirtless welding Instagram stars, they would bring more young and women into the welding fold.
BOOTHE: Well, when you put it that way. Yes, obviously.
MONTGOMERY: Sign me up. No, and we were on the couch the other day when this broke. I find it interesting because the U.S. Attorney said that there should not be a separate admission system for the wealthy. But as we know, there is. I mean The Washington Post did a story in 2017 looking at one of the admissions departments at UVA and showed that donors' children got a preference, got preferential treatment. There is even a student that was supposed to be rejected and someone scribbled 500,000K on it and ultimately was admitted to the school.
So, we know that this stuff goes on. And the thing about Elizabeth Warren. The reason why she's not going to be President is because the fact that her whole centerpiece of her campaign is the fact that she wants to fight the rigged system. She wants equality. She wants fairness for all. Yet she partook in it. Right. This is what she did.
BOOTHE: She found her own side door.
MONTGOMERY: She cheated the system. She did exactly what these parents did. She cheated the system for her own benefit and that's why she's never--
GUTFELD: You know what it reminds me of, it reminds me of like somebody buying an emotional support vest and wear it, so they could bring their animal into a supermarket where it's not allowed. They tried to get their students into a school where they weren't allowed. Just like--
WATTERS: Some people need emotional support. OK.
GUTFELD: To bring your dog into a supermarket.
MONTGOMERY: You can get those vests pretty easily. You don't need any accreditation.
MONTGOMERY: Supermarkets can be very stressful.
BOOTHE: I think they need some Juan wisdom here.
WATTERS: Thank you.
WILLIAMS: Well, I'm listening in because I'm so amused. I mean even in the case of Elizabeth Warren, I guess you're saying, Oh! Elizabeth Warren wrote on her application that she was an American - in fact, what we've learned from this scandal is she should have written rich white person able to give money for a building, right. I think that's what she should have written. That's what would have worked.
But to my mind, the outrage that continues here is how you know it's like nobody wants to open their eyes and say, this is about big money and how big money privileged at every level of American life. But I think colleges are important--
WATTERS: Juan, of all of the availability--
MONTGOMERY: We don't have enough plumbers. We've got more plumbers retiring than those--
WILLIAMS: We can have plumbers, but we need people who can think.
MONTGOMERY: Plumbing. We need new plumbers, Juan.
WILLIAMS: We've got too many people who don't--
MONTGOMERY: That's plumbing. That's international sign.
BOOTHE: In calendars, as stated earlier.
WATTERS: Juan, of all of the available information out there, 70 percent of the donations went to Democrats from all of these people caught up in the scandal and it's the Democrats that are saying, Oh! Income inequality, money corrupt, campaign financing.
WATTERS: They're the ones orchestrating the scheme.
WILLIAMS: That's - what's that's some sign of honesty?
WATTERS: No, that's hypocrisy.
WILLIAMS: No, it's not. If you say - listen--
MONTGOMERY: That's hypocrisy.
WILLIAMS: Some of these people who gave money--
MONTGOMERY: Do as I say, not as I do because when I do is illegal?
WILLIAMS: It's like calling out people who are cheaters. I don't care if they're Republicans or Democrats.
MONTGOMERY: All right. Well, that's a thankful thing because much to discuss coming up next how THE FIVE somehow managed to survive the great social media outage of 2019. Brace yourself, that's next.
BOOTHE: Kennedy is dancing. Welcome back. Widespread panic around the world yesterday after major social media outage, Facebook and Instagram were down for almost eight hours. But somehow everyone survived, but not without adding some comic relief. The restaurant chain Denny's got in on the fun tweeting Instagram and Facebook are down, but Denny's is always open.
And The Bachelor Colton Underwood tweeted, Yo! at Instagram, I just went public with my girlfriend last night and I have to post a few more pictures of us to be annoying/show her off. Can you please or can you fix herself soon. So, Kennedy where were you and how did you survive.
MONTGOMERY: I was under a desk. I took it like one of the nuclear drills that we had as elementary students during the Reagan administration. It was dogs and cats living together, total hysteria. I really, I didn't notice and have made me realize at the end of the day, I have to post more on Instagram. I haven't been on Facebook for years, because my good friends from high school, some of the Lakers Pacers, we are ready for you. They have gotten politically annoying. So, I really distanced myself from the Facebook. And I spend most of my time on Twitter watching Greg's cat videos.
BOOTHE: Well, Greg you know in schools we prepare for tornadoes and things like that.
BOOTHE: Should this be something.
GUTFELD: I'm pretty good about this because I just stick to Alta Vista you know, and I stick to my free AOL CDs that I still have stacked in my bathroom. By the way, there should be a warning to us all that these companies are not fallible, and they have - they're vulnerable and they have all of our data and they pretend they're doing us a favor like Google's. Hey, you can use the Google search, it's free, but they're taking all - you're the product.
WATTERS: Wait, they know what I search for.
GUTFELD: Yes, they do. Yes, safety vests.
WATTERS: I've got to go.
MONTGOMERY: You need to download Tor.
BOOTHE: Jesse, did the world miss out on anything that you're trying to post.
WATTERS: Yes, they did actually. I told Johnny, I said I need this posted. He said, it's down, I said all right, we'll just wait for tomorrow. I mean who cares. The thing is, it's like--
GUTFELD: But it was for a kidney.
MONTGOMERY: It's still in the fridge. You know the cape (ph) right.
WATTERS: You know when you're like trying to get to know someone and you've had a few drinks and then all of a sudden someone says, where were you on 9/11? This is what this is. It's like where were you when this went down. And it's like that serious to these crack heads.
GUTFELD: I would - to make sure you were kidding on that one. That you don't agree with that.
WATTERS: I don't agree.
GUTFELD: Yes, thank you.
BOOTHE: That was a very good save, right.
WATTERS: I don't need saving.
BOOTHE: Juan, are you on Instagram?
WILLIAMS: I mean like somebody does it for me. But I've got to say, I really don't care. I didn't even know about it.
BOOTHE: Why did you come up as LeBron James for years.
WILLIAMS: I don't know how that happened.
BOOTHE: You weren't real Juan Williams and for some reason--
BOOTHE: On Instagram.
MONTGOMERY: LeBron is somehow manipulating--
WILLIAMS: A lot of people envy my basketball skills. I don't think he's one of them. But you know what strikes me is they're losing people. What I saw the other day was more and more people are leaving Facebook. I think that's why this wasn't headlines this morning, because when I was reading about this from the producers, I thought well how come I didn't even know about this. I know I'm a numbskull on about social media stuff. But I thought how come it's not front page on the tabloid.
GUTFELD: I didn't notice it either.
BOOTHE: Well, on a serious note, apparently the last time Facebook had this kind of disruption was in 2008 and it was - this time it was 2008, the site had 150 million users compared to 2.3 billion. But there is advertisers that lost money. I mean there is other things that happened.
WILLIAMS: Yes. Well, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump were very upset.
BOOTHE: You know what he did - you know what it was?
BOOTHE: Venezuela. It's payback.
WILLIAMS: Is that what it is.
BOOTHE: The CIA causing this big blackout. It's Cuba dismantling Facebook as a sort of watch out.
WILLIAMS: I think Vlad and Don are getting ready for 2020.
GUTFELD: If you had to bring that in here, didn't you Juan. Every segment to have a little Trump.
WILLIAMS: There you go.
BOOTHE: Hashtag fake news. Well, I was actually trying to post something and couldn't and then just stopped it.
BOOTHE: No, I was just trying to post pictures from this interview I did yesterday.
WATTERS: Oh! Yes. You're looking around.
GUTFELD: It was funny that when it happened. Everybody started over posting.
WATTERS: Don't say you're interviewing while you're on Fox.
GUTFELD: They're a little thirsty trash.
BOOTHE: No. I did an interview for Fox.
WATTERS: Oh! Got you. Just trying to save you like Greg.
BOOTHE: Thank you. I appreciate that, Jesse. All right, One More Thing is up next.
GUTFELD: Time now for One More Thing. I go first. It's time for this. Animals Are Great. You never get tired of that, do you? Stuck in your brain.
All right. You know what, I'm not a daredevil. I actually hate that kind of activity. I despise paragliding. Apparently, I'm not alone. Kangaroos hated too. Check out this guy landing and what happens as he lands, he's landing.
This is in Australia I believe and he's glad he's happy, he's had a safe landing and look what happens. He gets attacked by a marauding kangaroo. And you know what, I can't blame that kangaroo and stop with your swearing Australian man. This is family television and that is why friends, Animals Are Great. I like the naughty cat over there. All right, Jesse.
WATTERS: I think he paid the two kangaroos to attack.
GUTFELD: They're wearing MAGA hats.
WATTERS: OK. In Jesse's hair news, we have a new feature. All right. This hair news episode is brought to you by Eric Swalwell. Can you guys say that with me, Swalwell.
WATTERS: This is the High school yearbook photo of the Democrat from California. Swalwell, and he took a lot of heat on Twitter, so he said this. All of us make bad decisions in high school, sometimes those decisions involve bleach. I swear there were others. Hashtag Bleach Boys pretty funny. So, it inspired some of the producers to dig up my old high school yearbook photo. There it is. I look the same.
WATTERS: Wittiest, pessimist, most charming, most likely to interview himself (ph). Amazing yearbook editor right there.
MONTGOMERY: A lot of superlatives.
GUTFELD: Beautiful, beautiful. All right, Juan.
WILLIAMS: All right. So, it's starting to feel like spring in the East but in the Midwest March is still roaring like a lion. Take a look at this powerful bomb cyclone, it brought 100 mile an hour winds blinding snow and even three tornadoes to the middle of the country. This is what it looks like in Colorado. Take a look at this man, Rapid City South Dakota National Weather Service employee trying to launch a weather balloon in record high winds. Now, take a look at what the wind did in Amarillo Texas up ending this big rig. Unbelievable.
At Dallas Fort Worth Airport, the winds hit seven, eight miles an hour and Colorado National Guard had to rescue people Denver Airport shut all four runways. And in Des Moines, 30-foot ice slabs racing down the river led to flooding. So, Old Man Winter, he's not done yet.
GUTFELD: You know it could be a woman.
WILLIAMS: Yes, Mother Nature.
WILLIAMS: You're so sensitive.
GUTFELD: I am. All right, Kennedy.
MONTGOMERY: Probably Bernie Sanders. So, do you own more than one pair of the same kind of shoe. But just in different colors. Oh! Look at this. A Congresswoman out of the 5th District in Pennsylvania, her name is Congresswoman Mary Gay Scanlon, and she wore a black ballet flat and a blue ballet flat.
And she didn't realize it until 4 o'clock in the afternoon and that's when she had to put something out on the gram to let how did you get them on Instagram when everything was shut down, which it really - in the grand scheme of things. I mean I've left the house with one Waffle Thumper and one silk Shantung pump.
MONTGOMERY: So, I've committed this fashion felony--
GUTFELD: I've often left with a half a pair of underwear.
BOOTHE: And I'm not sure how that happens.
WATTERS: Yours or someone else's.
MONTGOMERY: Zip lock bag.
GUTFELD: That's disgusting.
MONTGOMERY: People like fun and they post the pictures of themselves with mismatches, very Punky Brewster accidentally. We feel you.
GUTFELD: All right, Liz. What you've got?
BOOTHE: All right. Today is March 14, 314 known as Pi Day. Congress passed a resolution marking the 14th as Pi Day in 2009. Pi not Pie. To be honest, I don't really care about Pi Day. I did the segment because I wanted the Pi. So, there you go.
GUTFELD: No, you've got to explain what Pi is. They're like they're calculating just like the trillionth. Right.
WILLIAMS: Somebody set a record.
BOOTHE: Well, you do that. I'm going to do this.
WILLIAMS: Somebody set a record today for calculating it the fastest ever.
GUTFELD: Yes. It's incredible.
BOOTHE: For the record.
GUTFELD: It's a weird number. It's just a weird stupid number that's like - I don't know.
WILLIAMS: And tomorrow the Ides of March.
MONTGOMERY: And the Mueller report, Juan.
GUTFELD: The Mueller report. Never happened. Not while I'm here. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report" is up next. Hello Bret.
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