This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 28, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, according to a new poll, Hawaii is the most popular state among Americans. A surprise to most people who had no idea this strange little island was part of the Union.
Conversely, California, home of earthquakes, fire ants and Ryan Seacrest, ranked last.
So, why Hawaii? Well, I believe most Americans see Hawaii as a supermodel, a far off beauty that they fantasize and enjoying, but they've never really been there.
That's the thing about fantasies, you never include the flaws because you don't know that. But as someone who's dated thousands of supermodels, I can attest there are many downsides. I hate how they sob when I leave and I detest how they crowd the front door when I get home from work. It's like they can hear the car pulled up in the driveway.
Hawaii is like that. A beauty with hidden flaws that remain hidden because we refuse to pollute our flights of fancy. It's like domestic bliss, sure we're married to a flyover state we met 20 years ago, and we think we'd love to run off with Hawaii, that's sweet young thinking working in accounts payable.
But it's folly, never trust the excitement of the mysterious temptress for its secrets are deadlier than the dreary comfort you know too well -- meaning a drug habit or perhaps a birthmark resembling the head of Wilford Brimley.
In some people, Hawaii is evil. And if you saw the "Brady Bunch" three-part special on this matter, I wouldn't need to tell you.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You know, I got to tell you something, of all the ones you've done, that may have been the most brilliant. I mean, seriously, that was terrific.
And, by the way, and there's not many flaws in Hawaii. I love Hawaii.
GUTFELD: I've never been to Hawaii.
BECKEL: You've never been to Hawaii? Why are you dumping on them?
GUTFELD: You know why? Because every time I go on a website like Expedia to pick a place to go to Hawaii and start reading the letters and never decide anything, something is great. I found bed bugs. Or these people are rude.
So, I end up going to Miami and getting drunk.
BECKEL: Listen, they said we only have a minute and so we better go around and say our favorite and worst.
GUTFELD: OK. Dana?
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: OK. My favorite was a tie between Wyoming and Colorado my home and I think the least favorite is going to be Vermont because I just don't see the point.
GUTFELD: I just don't see the point.
ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Wow.
GUTFELD: Home of Ben & Jerry's, am I right?
PERINO: Yes. And also, somebody had an arrest warrant for President Bush there. It was ridiculous.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Favorite state? Anticipation, and least favorite, union.
BECKEL: Come on, let's go.
BOLLING: Florida and Texas, favorite. And least favorite probably Illinois just because I come from Chicago and it's like the most crooked state in the Union.
BECKEL: Well, my favorite state and place where I used to own a place is Wyoming, the most beautiful state in America. The Tetons are something. They are unbelievable.
PERINO: Or something?
PERINO: Did you say "the Tetons or something"? Oh, "are" something. Sorry.
BECKEL: Dana, I'm trying to get straight about the Teton Mountains. I know what people think they are. Bu they're actually mountains.
PERINO: No, I didn't mean that way!
BECKEL: And my worst state is New Jersey and that's just because --
TANTAROS: I knew you were going to say that.
BECKEL: No, no, it's not. I mean, there are some nice people there, like Eric, for example, case in point. But as soon as you get through these tunnels out of Manhattan, you go there, there's a lot of smells, a lot of chemicals, there's a lot of thing. And then you go to Jersey shore and a lot of --
TANTAROS: And now what it sounds like.
BECKEL: And I've been to the Jersey shore and there's the --
TANTAROS: Sounds like your apartment.
BECKEL: And what is a --
TANTAROS: Sounds like your apartment.
Favorite state? I would say, home state of Pennsylvania and I'm not taking the bait on my least favorite state, because I don't want to alienate viewers and my luck I'd be broken down on the road and you said on "The Five" you didn't like my state.
GUTFELD: Good point. Yes, I love Pennsylvania, I would tie California where I'm from with Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is a beautiful place and eastern Pennsylvania, fantastic.
TANTAROS: Everyone is it nice.
GUTFELD: Lehigh Valley.
PERINO: Least favorite? Are you're going to pick?
GUTFELD: Least favorite, I'm with you on Vermont. I'm not a fan.
PERINO: Oh, sure.
GUTFELD: Ben & Jerry's has killed more people than anything.
GUTFELD: And all right, "One More Thing".
All right, "One More Thing", and it's up next.
GUTFELD: If you leave now, I'm renouncing my citizenship and move into Hawaii.
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