This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," June 2, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I've had a couple meals with the President, and I will say -- before he was President -- not a fan of vegetables. I've tried to point this out that maybe he should add that to his diet, not that interested.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: That is CNN, folks. Stop. I don't know about you, but I am outraged out. Tweets here, c-words there, even the flying nun got involved.
I am not kidding. The flying nun is throwing the c-word around like a nasty little frisbee. What is happening to America. What is happening to people? What did we learn from this week of outrage? Well, it used to be that would cost you your job, it was that thing you did behind a tree at the company picnic.
If you are laughing, you know. No, now it is Twitter, the one stop career liquidator. All it takes is one idiotic statement and you disappear faster than a Twinkie in Michael Moore's lap.
Where would I be without Michael Moore's lap? I'd be out of jokes. Okay, as the online world encourages mob action over forgiveness, companies now need to protect themselves so Twitter has become a global human resources.
As the population combines as a moral force to decide who stays and who goes. And let's not forget on Twitter, the world's bathroom wall, all inscriptions are permanent, you are branded. You are branded for life.
Of course, you can't just blame Twitter. It did not write that tweet, Roseanne, and every company has the right to fire you over words. Freedom of speech without consequences only exists against the government.
But, this week the offenses were not only on twitter or by Roseanne, two women said bad things. One apologized and lost her job, one apologized and kept her job. That is life, but let's be clear, I accept all apologies. If you are sorry I accept it. I say this knowing that this favor may never be returned to me.
There are organizations devoted to catching me screw up. It is true. It is true, but I will forgive all even if they would and end me with glee. Let's do the simple exercise. If I said what Samantha Bee said about the daughter of a President how long would I last?
I would be frog marched into a vat of truck drivers back sweat. I would have requested that actually, but as righties experience boycott, lefties get awards. It's not just about the offense really, it's about the tribe.
And one tribe is less forgiving than the other, see, I am willing to forgive blunders, but I don't think there's reciprocity over there at the left. Why is that? Well, Krauthammer said it first, "You think they are stupid, they thank you are evil." Meaning a conservative believes the liberal is mistaken, but a liberal believes a conservative is immoral." It's a huge difference.
The behavior toward a righty is an excuse because after all, you are bad. If someone is evil, you can do anything to them, you can mimic their beheading, you can call a mom a c-word for posting a picture of her child, you can wish death on Americans just for fun. So, we all knew Bee would survive because that's the real story. We knew she was safe.
Because in the contemporary landscape, the liberal joker's heart is always in the right place. After all, Ivanka -- she had it coming. She's a mom and her dad is evil, but such logic will lead to a dark and violent place.
If one group sees you as evil, what stops others from moving beyond speech? Remember the antifa, the weather underground, the uni-bomber? I bet all major violence, the kind of the mass killing variety, did not start with, "I disagree with you." No, it was, "You are evil and we must stop you."
Now, Trump has triggered some seriously angry people -- Kathy Griffin, the decapitator in chief. She still sees herself as the victim. There is Tom Arnold -- oh man, sad case. Chelsea Handler, what happened? Kimmel -- Oberman is back. Sarah Silverman who wanted a military coup, Robert de Niro, who threatened to punch the President. Of course, there was Alec Baldwin, then there is sad Jim Carrey, and now even the flying freaking nun.
It just breaks my heart. I loved Sally Fields. These people are so broken by Trump that they no longer see you as human but as a problem. I guess after the Obama era, all this losing is unknown territories so we are a watching a national tantrum for spoiled brats.
What do you do if political adversaries want you ruined, but you just want them healthy enough so you could debate them? If they're constantly demanding scalps, shouldn't we do the same as sort of mutually assured career destruction? Is that the only way to get everyone to stop the outrage crusade? To see that it goes both ways?
I don't know. That is not me and it should not be you, either.
Let's welcome tonight's guests. He has more good-humor than the ice cream man, TV writer and producer Rob Long.
Don't talk to him without a nurse because he'll put you in stitches, writer and comedian, David Angelo.
She drinks her own tears to stay hydrated, "Natural Review" reporter, Kat Timpf.
And he stole his pinky ring from Saturn, former WWE Superstar and my massive sidekick, Tyrus.
Rob, you are a big-time Hollywood producer, "Cheers," what was that other show?
ROB LONG, WRITER AND PRODUCER: The recent cancellation. I've been there.
GUTFELD: Yes, you were canceled but you did nothing racist.
LONG: No, we just didn't hold our audience, that's what we did. By the way, great contemporary reference with the flying nun. It's fantastic. If you are under 80 years old, I have this show on 50 years ago, half a century ago.
GUTFELD: But did you see her tweets?
LONG: I did. I did. Sally Fields tweets.
GUTFELD: Sally Fields -- used the c word to defend -- to actually pile on Ivanka, which is like, everybody was trying to out-gross each other, right?
LONG: Well, that's what they try to do. They try to act like it is not a big deal or to pile on or something, I mean, it's slightly different. I mean, the tweet and Roseanne's tweet and Samantha Bee's statement are different, but you know, what can you do? Like, if you are running ABC, you know you are going to have trouble with your advertisers, you can't just like ignore that. It's like half a billion dollar business that she torched.
The real question is why did they not take her phone away? Right? Because every other star of a TV show, every other star of a movie had to go through something called -- you know, get a physical. You have to get insured, insurance is really important for a completion bond and if you can't be insured, you will not get the job.
GUTFELD: You know, David, what depressed was not that Roseanne got in trouble. I like the idea of the show itself, it was kind of sloppy, but I like the fact that they actually presented some kind of civil discourse that was missing, so I was like really hopeful and the person who presents the civil discourse then goes ahead and shoots it in the head.
She actually creates this thing and was, "Oh, maybe the world will change," and then she tweets this thing and all goes away.
DAVID ANGELO, WRITER, COMEDIAN: Yes, it's kind of depressing. That's what it is . It was nice, I admit it was nice to see a character on TV who was not an open communist. We had fun for a few months, but now we go back to it. It's tough now. They are going to put the freeze on those types of things, I feel like. It is going to be pilot season. My agent told me to make sure the pilot is out before you put your head in the oven. And the advice I got.
GUTFELD: Ladies and gentlemen...
ANGELO: Yes, that was it, that conversation happened.
GUTFELD: Do you buy, Kathy, Ambien excuse because -- the reason why I bring that up -- everybody knows somebody who's had an experience with Ambien, but that was Roseanne's excuse? Do you buy that?
KAT TIMPF, REPORTER, "NATIONAL REVIEW": I do not buy that. I don't think that Ambien makes you racist. I think that what she said was unacceptable and I just don't understand why she would think it was worth it. I mean, the best thing about Twitter is not only do not you paid for your tweets, but you can also get fired for them.
GUTFELD: There is no upside.
TIMPF: There is no upside. I don't know why any of us are on this app whatsoever. I say this as someone who does absolutely, literally nothing else, but I don't know. I think...
GUTFELD: It's sad.
TIMPF: It's sad, it's very sad.
GUTFELD: It's sad, we're all very sad. But David, you were going to say...
ANGELO: I think twitter is actually pretty interesting. It's good, you know, because before Twitter I was struggling in obscurity and after Twitter, now tens of thousands of people know that I'm struggling.
TIMPF: It is good for that.
LONG: Kind of doing it for free.
GUTFELD: You should save your jokes for this show. All right, Tyrus, okay, what about Bee? The amazing thing is, nobody expected Samantha Bee to be fired because it was planned -- I think it was planned. The audience loved it and they all cheered when she did it. Do you think it's a different.
GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR: The comment is different, but I think -- it was recorded, edited, watched before and they were really excited about it. It was a premeditated hit and when they did what they did, because there was backlash, not because it was the right thing to do to look back and be like, "Hey, that was wrong to call someone that," especially of it's her holding a child, which I think is (inaudible), but it was because the sponsors were like, "No, were not good with that."
And it's okay, I guess, because she got -- here's where it gets weird. She got away with that because she was a woman, because if I would have said that on the show, you think you guys will let it run? You guys would've been -- and Greg would be like, "I am so sorry. Tyrus, there's nothing -- I actually can't talk to you anymore."
GUTFELD: That's true. I would drop you like a hot potato.
MURDOCH: But Greg, I am like, "Hello, I'm sorry," and he would come out here and bash me and show bad videos of me and say how he never liked me and he was scared every day to come to work and I was a bully and...
GUTFELD: You know me so well.
MURDOCH: He would've buried me. He would literally have buried me.
GUTFELD: I would have buried him so quickly.
MURDOCH: And so I feel like it's kind of one of those things where if a man would have said that on the same type of show, he would not be around anymore. So, it's definitely a double standard. The other thing that I think is on us and kind of was one of the things that was funny was the President was upset about the apologies. That had me laughing. Mr. President, "Bro, you don't apologize when your staffer said that about John McCain, no. Even if it did come out of your mouth and it was wrong, we don't apologize over here." That has been something that the Trump and Trump presidency and the new Trump Republicans, "We don't apologize for nothing."
And for him to be like, "Why are we -- you need to apologize to this person." I was like, "Come on man," like you've got to be messing and joking around. The right don't apologize. They just keep going. The left, they fire each other and ruin each other's lives in and then look to us to do the same thing and were like, "No, we are not doing that stuff."
GUTFELD: I see this outrage cycle moving so fast, you have an error that's driven by emotion, stupidity and that gets the spotlight, the crowd, the instant outrage and then the company that you work for goes, "Holy crap, this place is going up in smoke," because they are watching Twitter and then they don't want permanent damage so you're gone.
MURDOCH: One of the things I was really offended by with the mainstream coverage was that like, Roseanne was -- she was the voice of the red state, no, her character was. People just like me, I loved Conan the Barbarian. He was the man. I didn't know nobody. He just happened to be cool, but I am just saying I didn't know him.
I liked that guy and so America likes the character. They like the family, not the person who made the recent statement, that is who they are hurt by. They don't have that character anymore, not Roseanne and that's -- the media makes it clear.
GUTFELD: All right, we have got to roll up. Coming up, a new entry to the fake news hall of fame. That is next.
In case you missed it, it is all Donald Trump's fault. Everything. You meet something bad, he is the reason; climate change, his fault; asteroids, his fault; earthquakes those faults are his faults.
A little wordplay for Saturday night. You don't get that on "Watters' World". Every bad thing ever -- I love Jesse. Everything bad ever is on the head of this evil orange monster from hell. Especially if you are the media.
Take these images of immigrant children sleeping in cages. Journalists, politicians, the Obama flak, they all blamed Trump. It turns out the photos are four years old and when Obama was in charge. Whoops. Then there is -- even better this photo, an all baby seat immigration detention bus, also blamed on Trump, it was called a prison bus for babies by an anchor -- a prison bus for babies.
How could anyone say that with a straight face and believe it. A journalist. I mean, who would make a prison bus for babies? It's the craziest thing I've ever heard. The prison bus for babies.
But you will believe anything if you hate Trump. Even though this photo was also from Obama's era and no, it wasn't a prison bus for babies. It was for a field trip. Anyway, I'd expect the media to check the date on a photo, I mean, that is their job to check facts, but it's almost as if they need some kind of help.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hey, Tom, what is up?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Look at this. immigrant children sleeping in cages in the floor. And how about this? A prison bus just for babies. If this doesn't prove how evil and heartless Donald Trump is, nothing will.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, I just looked it up and that cage photo is from 2014 and that bus is for a field trip and it's from April 2016.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wow, just think, I was about to tweet this out to the public.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sounds like you need a veriscope.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What's that?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: A veriscope will help you see things clearly for what they really are without an agenda. But first thing, I am going to test you. I will show you some pictures, tell me if you see any news value in them.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That is a soldier getting rowdy during sleep week. That is Trump's fault.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank you for your (inaudible). Let's try this one.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's a woman upset about the current political climate. I just know, she is not smiling.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's Monalisa. How about this one?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'll recognize that anywhere, that's the day Trump was elected. (inaudible).
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's great. What about this here?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That is a monster attacking Japan. You see, Trump is even terrorizing foreign countries.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's Godzilla. Well, the good news is, you do qualify for a veriscope.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wow, does it have special powers?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, it's just a giant magnifying glass, but it will help you pull your head out of your ass.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ever since I started using a veriscope, I approach everything with more honesty.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Tom, how is it going?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, Carl, seeing your stupid face is the worst part of my day.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Veriscope, for when you need to check your facts before you tweet something stupid.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: First of David, (inaudible) walking around the corner into a hallway look of any commercial actor, I think you could learn something from him.
ANGELO: He is known throughout the industry.
GUTFELD: For walking down the hall.
ANGELO: That's what we know, yes.
GUTFELD: You're angry -- this bothers you. I've seen you on Twitter, not as much -- but you hate -- when there is a false story you get very upset.
ANGELO: Yes, the news media is awful and we all used to know that. Five years ago you'd be like CNN is terrible and everyone would be like, "Yes, yes, we know," and I now, like, CNN is terrible because Trump hates them, we are all going to be like, "Oh, no, no, they are great. We uphold the First Amendment," and all that stuff. It's like, "No." Have you Don Lemon's show? That is not journalism. His entire show is an expert panel explaining to him what happened on Anderson Cooper.
GUTFELD: So true. That is so true.
MURDOCH: You are in trouble now.
GUTFELD: Kat, isn't it just easier to blame Trump for everything? I'm sure some of your own disappointments in life, you could trace to Trump.
TIMPF: I am going to start doing that. This whole thing where I get upset with myself for my bad choices is becoming exhausting and this whole thing where I have apologized when I've done something wrong, I'm not doing that anymore.
Next time I do something wrong, I am just going to blame it on Trump and I know that a huge segment of the population will apparently believe me without even checking. I am never going to say, "Hey, sorry I vaped on your baby on accident, " for example. I will just say that Trump made me do it and the next thing you know I'll be some sort of victim.
GUTFELD: I saved on your baby?
TIMPF: Sometimes they come out of nowhere.
GUTFELD: Oh, you're vaping. I vaped on baby. Tyrus, there are so many examples of this, like when an entire opinion shifts when you introduce one variable like, prison reform. Prison reform, Trump was for that, but liberals weren't because Trump was for it. It's weird.
MURDOCH: Yes, was the question -- the question was weird.
GUTFELD: You've been here for years, I never ask questions.
MURDOCH: No, you ask me the questions -- this is weird because it's not about black people in sports so...
MURDOCH: But I'm the leading official on Dennis Rodman and Whoopi Goldberg, (inaudible). I don't know, man, it's just -- in some ways, it's convenient, but this is what -- if you listen to the people -- these are the same people that when Obama was in and everything was happening, it was Obama's fault.
Like, there's just a certain set of people that everything in their life is not the fault and whenever you have a conversation, they usually lead with statements like, "You made me upset," or, "It's because of you that I am a screaming loud and not going to bed at a decent time and always making our relationship difficult. It is you."
I mean, I don't know if anyone knows anybody like that, but I've come across a few people and it's not necessarily Donald Trump, he's just convenient now. He is the -- Trump is the new Munson. You know what I mean? I got Trumped out in the middle of nowhere. Trump is the easy guy to blame and if you blame him for something, and he hears you, chances are, he'll fight you back.
So, you get your audience, you know.
GUTFELD: In a weird way, Trump is like the weather. Trump is like the weather, you walk outside, "Yes, trope." (Inaudible).
LONG: I don't know if you do that, but to be fair, I mean, Trump also takes credit for everything.
GUTFELD: That's true.
LONG: Then he says, "Only I could fix it. I alone can do this." So, in a way it's a perfect relationship with him and the media. They are getting the President. They desperately, desperately deserve and they are getting it good and hard.
GUTFELD: Good point. Solution for cable news, they've got to get rid of like the lower third that is a Republican political consultant or a Democratic analyst...
LONG: Strategist or whatever it is...
GUTFELD: Strategist and just go, "I hate Trump." and then I'm okay with the guy. Like that is basically what it is. Most of America is like, "Let's see what happens," as he says so many times, but the other side is, "I can't stand him." Thank god, that never happens on "The Five." All right, still to come.
MURDOCH: Oh, yes, you are mean to one. Yes.
GUTFELD: We're not mean to one. Maybe Geraldo. So, how bad did Donald Trump traumatize the Democrats on election day? We discuss the damage next.
MARIANNE RAFFERTY, FOX NEWS: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Marianne Rafferty. President Trump's attorneys argue on a 20-page confidential memo that is impossible for him to obstruct justice because he has absolute authority over all Federal investigations.
The memo obtained by Fox News on Saturday was sent to special counsel, Robert Mueller in January. It also says the President cannot be forced to sit for an interview with investigators probing Russian meddling in the 2016 election.
And in Santa Fe, Texas, Friday night more than 300 seniors receiving their high school diplomas about two weeks after a deadly mass shooting at their high school, ten people including eight students were killed.
Seniors from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida graduate Sunday. A gun may killed four of their classmates along with 13 others on Valentine's Day.
I am Marianne Rafferty, now, back to "The Greg Gutfeld Show."
GUTFELD: President Obama wonders where he went wrong. A new book by Ben Rhodes describes President Obama's reaction to Trump's 2016 win and and I am guessing it wasn't this.
That is every brother-in-law. No, instead, President Obama questioned himself and America, "What if we were wrong? Maybe we pushed too far. maybe people just want to fall back into their tribe."
Now, this new book is written by one of Obama's most loyal lackeys, a guy named, Ben Rhodes. This is great tape, HBO caught him on the night that Hillary lost...
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can't -- I mean, I can't -- I can't, I can't, I can't put it into words. I don't know what the words are...
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: I could watch that forever. But you know what? It needs music.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I mean, I can't, I can't -- I can't, I can't put it into words. I don't know what the words are.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: That is so much better. All right, my favorite part of this upcoming book is when Ben Rhodes says that Obama tried to cheer him up by sending him this message saying "There are more stars in the sky than grains of sand on the earth." So, that was from Obama.
But isn't that something that someone in the drama club would use as a motto at the bottom to make the yearbook photo, or maybe it is the tagline on a diamond ring commercial. But it wasn't, it was our President so there you go, all the evidence you could ever need and the difference between Obama and Trump.
Obama says, "There are more stars in the sky than grains of sand on the earth," and Trump says this.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES: For the invasion of Iraq.
DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Wrong.
CLINTON: That is absolute...
CLINTON: ... true, over and over again.
TRUMP Wrong. The fire and fear, like the world has never seen. The sneaky, dirty rat.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: Grains of sand, my ass. What you make of this? Fid you like that video, Tyrus? It was kind of quite...
MURDOCH: He just reminds me of every 15-year-old that has ever been caught in the bathroom. I -- there's no words. I mean, obviously, you know, he's hurt. I get it. I mean, but, I mean, damn, I don't think Hillary was that hurt. He must've invested a lot of his own money in that campaign. I mean, it was something.
GUTFELD: He probably already picked out the drapes.
MURDOCH: That's probably like the 400th person that texted Obama whining so I am sure, at that point he was like -- there are more stars in the sky than the sand -- I mean, when people text me, whenever friends say, like my girl left me, I am like, you know, 601 here -- good night, bro. That's not my job anymore. I am out.
GUTFELD: Kat, it really seemed like the end of the world. It was almost like they woke up in a cryogenic lab and the world has changed beyond their own comprehension.
TIMPF: That is certainly what they are acting like. I love that he took the time and the effort to write in this new book that he was shocked and had a hard time with President Trump winning the election. Because how else would we know that an Obama adviser had a tough time with Trump winning the election? Because all of these Hillary supporters seem to be handling it so well. Were the other chapters like water is wet and it like, it gets dark outside in the nighttime?
GUTFELD: Rob, are they going to learn for the midterms? Are they just a mess?
LONG: No, I mean, maybe we were wrong. These people do not think they were wrong. They think we were wrong. They think you were wrong. They think a lot of people - they don't think they were wrong. They just think they did not yell loud enough. It's like, when you are talking to some foreigner and you think, if I speak louder maybe they will understand me. That's kind of their theory. Next time, just louder, just more loud.
And so, look, the truth is that the generic battle is tightening up in the midterms. What looked like a disaster for the Republicans may actually not be a disaster.
And if that is the case -- I would hate to see Ben Rhodes that day, that Wednesday morning. That is not going to be -- they need to be prepared for it. They need to be laying in the Wellbutrin right now.
MURDOCH: If he is still in the political game after that, then he is an addict. He likes feeling that way. I mean, how many times do you get your heart broken before you move on? Like, get out (inaudible)...
GUTFELD: Last words, Mr. Angelo? Thoughts?
ANGELO: Well, I knew Trump would win because it was kind of obvious. He was selling out stadiums. Everyone was going like into him. No one really liked -- it was like -- I was like, I think he is going win. So, then there's all these people who were like supposed to be so smart and they were like -- it's like, "Oh, you didn't think he'd get the nomination? You didn't thinking he would win the election? And then you think he's the Russian top spy." I think, it's like, I have an alternate theory. Maybe you are just dumb.
GUTFELD: I think I am included in that audience of dumb. I think 99% of every -- I said this on "The Five" I think I only knew three people maybe that were like new. You never told me that.
ANGELO: I wanted money on it.
GUTFELD: Oh really?
ANGELO: He is going to win.
GUTFELD: My brother-in-law, my buddy who runs this steakhouse in midtown, Terry Shaffert on here, he was like...
MURDOCH: We joked about it. Remember I had the Donald Trump shirt, I was like (inaudible) -- he won.
GUTFELD: It's amazing. All right, coming up, what do world peace and delicious cheeseburgers have in common? Stick around and find out.
It is on like Kim-Jong.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
TRUMP: I think we are going to have a very positive result in the end. We're meeting with the Chairman on June 12th, and I think it's probably going to be very successful, ultimately a successful process. We will see.
Remember what I say, we will see what we will see.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: The birds apparently agree with him chirping away like that. So, things aren't so grim with our second favorite Kim. They are not quitting each other and there are signs of progress.
The North Koreans hand delivered a letter to Trump. Who does not love a letter? I would love to see what is in that letter.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
TRUMP: Oh, would you like to see what's in that letter? How much? How much?
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: How much? The North Korea's number two guy hand delivers this letter and stays for two hours. So, that's a good sign, and a new US intelligence report says North Korea could open to having a western burger joint open in Pyongyang to show goodwill.
That sounds like something to poke fun of, after all our President loves fast food, but this is significant here is why. In 1990, the very first McDonald's opened in the Soviet Union. They had never seen anything like it. The line to get in wrapped around the block just get a taste of a capitalist burger.
One year later, the Soviet Union dissolved. So, yes, it was two all beef patties that killed communism.
If North Korea is open to sticking a burger stand in the heart of their capital, that is progress. They could even try my new high speed drive- through idea.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Two sweet teas, please. Put that on debit. Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Have a great day.
(VIDEO CLIP ENDS)
GUTFELD: It doesn't work out too well, Kat, is this genuine olive branch or is this just kind of thing?
TIMPF: I don't understand how a burger place is an olive branch to any of us. I bet none of us are going to eat there. I am just saying, none of us are going to eat there, and President Trump would not eat there because he does only -- he wants -- if it was a McDonald's, he would, but it's not McDonald's. I would not eat there. I don't understand. It's kind of offensive to me to suggest that we could be bought so easily. We eat burgers, too, like you eat burgers. Let's have peace. That doesn't make sense to me. I don't care if they have burgers, I just want them to not have nukes.
GUTFELD: It's so ironic. There's nothing better than nuking a burger, Rob.
LONG: That's exactly right.
GUTFELD: You notice that I put those two things together. I truly am a comedic wonder.
LONG: That's why you're on -- I had to put the cable on a Saturday, but this is kind of a weird thing. When you look at Kim right now, you think, maybe not a burger place, maybe one of those salad places. But the problem is, there's no happy end to this -- there is no happy ending for North Korea. There's no that they are going to get out of it. They have 23 million emaciated North Koreans. There is nothing for them to do. I mean, they are going to need fast food. They are going to be working at fast food restaurants. I can even see Kim with the baggies on his hands with the chipotle filling up your burrito. They don't have skills. This is good news for them because there's a disaster looming.
GUTFELD: I'm optimistic and I will tell you why, David, I believe that it is a win-win situation. They need us and we'd like them to disarm. I think that Trump is like the first guy as a salesman from Queens to actually approach this idea and say, "Why don't we sit down with the guy we hate?" He does that when he was a developer in Queens. He met with worse people.
ANGELO: Yes, that's true. We'll see what happens. What is the harm that can befall us, you know? I mean, it can't get worse. I like the idea that they just go hard on the negotiating the burger place. We will give you paninis. That's it. That is the red line. All right, take it easy.
GUTFELD: I hate paninis. I absolutely hate them.
ANGELO: It's a crushed sandwich.
GUTFELD: It is a crushed sandwich. I don't like it at all. All right, Tyrus, I feel good about what is happening. There is going to be...
MURDOCH: You probably would feel good about this, Greg because you are probably in on it. You and Trump with your secret burger stands all over North Korea, I could see Don Lemon is getting fired up now with his panel. He is putting his own burger businesses. It is going to be not Trump burgers and it is going to be all over North Korea and Asia, probably a golf course in there, too, more scandal.
GUTFELD: Russians will be investing.
MURDOCH: Who just happened to meet with him the day before the setup where they are going to have the yellow tea -- that arched burger plan. Yes, this is a good thing. Why wait, let's drop it now. He is investing in a burger stuff and he is going to have his Trump burgers all over the world starting in North Korea, which the President is not allowed to open a new business, so he is breaking the rules again, so we will need a special counsel. Let's get this going. Sorry, Don.
LONG: I was going to say that you didn't play the rest of that clip because he's talking about it -- it's a great letter, it's a beautiful letter. It's a very important letter. I haven't read it.
MURDOCH: But it was a nice hallmark paper, it was like that soft stuff probably musical when you open it up.
GUTFELD: Oh, I love that.
MURDOCH: It's probably an amazing card, so the content is irrelevant. It was the thought. The fact that it was like a velvet -- it was real soft.
LONG: It felt really real because somebody said, "Why haven't you read it?" Well, I didn't want to read it with a guy there. He said to everybody, "Do I open this now? Should I open it now?"
GUTFELD: I'll open it later.
LONG: Let me get on the plane.
GUTFELD: It was a glitter card. He opened it up and he had glitters all over. All right, Coming up, will the moon be our 51st state. It's the a question, a special report refused to ask.
Is he over the moon about the moon? Amazon CEO, Jeff Bezos, if that's his real name, recently laid out his plan to use his space venture, Blue Origin to set up a moon base. His long game to pave the way for millions of people to work in space as his slaves. I added that.
He says thanks to ice deposits that could be mined for everything from oxygen to rocket fuel, we could eventually relocate some of earth's industrial activity there. He adds, "It will start to be easier to do a lot of the things that we currently do on earth in space and it is going to make this planet better." Really? Until Trump gets up there and build the moon-a-lago it would really be boring.
At the very least, the moon will need a good tourism promo.
(VIDEO CLIP STARTS)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We haven't been back to the moon since 1972, that's if we ever went in the first place, but in 2418, life on the moon is awesome.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: With your great, great, great grandkids.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That means someone has to go first. So pony up to space cowboy for the measly price of Infinity Dollars and possibly your life, you will get unlimited access to a barren inhospitable wasteland of deadly solar radiation and zero breathable oxygen.
So pack everything, no air, don't care and with just 60% of earth's gravity, you will get perks like, instant weight loss, expanded spinal column and long term loss of bone density. Plus, with no atmosphere to block the sun you'll get a better base than George Hamilton in Cabo.
So, sign up today and don't think about it anymore. All sales are final. It's too late, you're definitely going, okay, thanks, bye.
GUTFELD: All right, Rob, let's face it that this is about war. Seize the moon, you've got a great vantage point to launch stuff at countries you don't like.
LONG: Wow, that actually sounds really great.
GUTFELD: Yes, I know.
LONG: I thought it be more of like an Amazon thing where you go to the moon and then suddenly, you're seeing like other planets you may like but...
GUTFELD: It's a fulfillment.
LONG: It's a fulfillment center. Exactly.
GUTFELD: That's what it is. It's a fulfillment center.
LONG; But you know, a month after people are in the moon, they are going to start to talk, we have a very specific moon culture. You don't really want a lot of new moon comers here and then other people on the moon will be saying, "You know, we are all immigrants here on the moon, I just want to make that clear." It is going to happen in a month.
GUTFELD: Don't culturally appropriate the moon by touching Iraq. David, why do -- when billionaires get rich, they always turn into Lex Luther. You know, Bezos made his money polishing his dome, he's probably got a cat that he pets and now we want the moon.
ANGELO: Yes, they all have these ambitions. Elon Musk is trying to go to Mars, who is the other one? Branson is trying to do a spaceship.
GUTFELD: Yes, they're all evil.
ANGELO: Yes, I guess that's...
GUTFELD: You have no response. Any other thoughts about the moon before I move on to? No?
ANGELO: It's -- you know, it's up there right now and it's waiting for us. I don't want to go. I have a hard enough time here, but you guys go and have fun.
GUTFELD: Tyrus, would you go to the moon?
MURDOCH: Man, I'd really love to, but that whole no air thing -- same thing with Mars, no air. No, I am not going. If they have Amazon, how long is the delivery on that? Is that going to fit my prime membership? If my favorite Godzilla artifact is built on the moon -- this all sounds great. It's the stuff that I guess, you can -- I think this is something they do to like hide money or pay less taxes because like -- I am sure it is charitable donations to build bridges on the moon and how much did you do for a for that, sir? $10 billion. Okay, cool, put it down.
Ain't nobody going on the moon. Look how miserable is that guy is? We never went back.
GUTFELD: No, we didn't.
MURDOCH: We weren't there for a reason. Look (inaudible) were like, "Damn, this place sucks."
GUTFELD: It's true. It's like...
MURDOCH: And we never went back.
GUTFELD: It's like when you go to Mexico, you go, "I am going to go back." But the moon is like, "Nah, there's not a lot to do there." Kat, I think like why go to the moon when you have Texas? There is so much space in Texas. Texas is our moon. I think. It has got a lot of space.
TIMPF: Yes, I have no desire to go to the moon. I have a very hard time getting myself to even leave my apartment at all.
GUTFELD: That's true.
TIMPF: So -- plus like the moon sucks.
GUTFELD: Does it?
TIMPF: Yes, Bezos knows it. That's why he's trying to sell it so hard. You know it, I know it, there's nothing to do on the moon. The only people that are going to go are going to be space nerds.
So, the whole thing is just going to be full of space nerds and I don't to be there in a place where there is nothing to do and nobody but space nerds to do nothing with. It sound like the worst idea ever.
GUTFELD: You don't like space nerds.
TIMPF: I sure don't, Greg.
GUTFELD: There is going to be a neat little candy you could sell on the moon. Space nerds.
LONG: I'll tell you one thing. This is something you can really trust, there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand.
MURDOCH: And craters in the moon.
GUTFELD: Don't go anywhere, more stuff after this. We're out of time. Thanks to Rob Long, David Angelo, Katherine, Tyrus, (inaudible), our studio audience. I am Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.
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